Wounded Souls
by crystal rose2
Summary: AU--Unlike other children, Serena's was not filled with happy memories. Enter Darien Shields. Handsome, intelligent, and rich--he's everything she ever wanted. Can Serena set her past behind and move on to a future with Darien? [FINISHED]
1. Prologue

Hey everyone, this is crystal rose coming back with a second fic. I hope this one is as good as my first story, The Road to Hell, but if it's not, just know that I tried, k? This is an alternate reality story, which means, no senshi, no supernatural enemies and not all the senshi will be included. SM isn't mine, and besides, I have no money to give.  
  
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Prologue:  
  
Darien Shields paced impatiently in the hospital waiting room, beside himself with worry. Beside him, his mother Candace Shields sat anxiously, waiting for the doctor to come with news about her husband, Walter, who just suffered a massive stroke.  
  
'What could be taking them so long?' thought Darien. 'It's been hours since we brought dad in and we haven't even seen the doctor since.' He glowered, his deep blue eyes seemingly getting darker as the clock struck another hour.   
  
Finally, the doors burst open and a tired looking doctor emerged, removing her surgical mask and cap. Upon seeing her, Darien stopped his pacing and Candace stood up, each afraid of what the doctor would have to say.  
  
"Dr. Anderson," Candace began nervously. "How is my husband?"  
  
"He is stable now. Mr. Shields, as you may have already guessed, had a stroke. It's not clear at the moment how much his neurological and motor faculties have been damaged, if at all, but I would highly recommend getting a physical therapist to help him with his day-to-day functions," replied Dr. Amy Anderson.  
  
"That's all you have to say to us? You don't know how badly damaged my father is after being with him for five hours? Now you want to pass your job off to a physical therapist?" cried Darien incredulously, ignoring his mother's warning hand on his arm, or the low shushes she whispered in his ear.  
  
"Unfortunately Mr. Shields, your father was unconscious at the time I was in surgery with him, so I could not be sure what else was wrong with him. I only suggest having a physical therapist to help him get back to his normal routine. Some stroke victims usually need some time to relearn how to do the simplest tasks and that's where a physical therapist comes in. His or her job would be to work with your father at his own pace, to build up his muscle strength as well as to help him recover his cognitive skills that he may have lost as a result of the stroke," Dr. Anderson explained wearily, brushing her blue-black hair out of her eyes. She had just been in surgery for four and a half hours and her shift was over a long time ago. (AN: I only know a little bit about strokes, and what happens when you have one, so don't get all uppitiy if my explanations aren't up to par with your medical encyclopedias : )  
  
Candace relaxed her hold of Darien's arm as she considered the doctor's words. "Do you have anyone in mind as his therapist, doctor?"  
  
Dr. Anderson hesitated for a minute. "Well, I do know someone, but I don't know if she's able to take your case-"  
  
"What do you mean 'if she's able to take your case?'" interrupted Darien. "Why won't she be able to? Is it the money? If it is, I'll pay her double what she's earning now, plus let her have accommodations in our house."  
  
"No I can assure you, it's not about the money Mr. Shields. As I was saying, I don't know if she's able to take your case because she lives in Toronto and I don't know how she would feel about moving all the way to LA."  
  
"Canada?" asked Darien.  
  
"Why are you recommending someone from so far away? Surely there's someone else closer to here?" Candace interjected.  
  
"What makes this physical therapist more special than the ones in California?" asked Darien.  
  
"Well, I don't know if she's more special than the ones here in California, but from what her former patients have told me, she's a miracle worker. She is able to connect with her patients in a way that no other therapist can. I've known this woman for fourteen years; she's a close friend of mine. She's graduated at the top of her Kinesiology class at Queen's University, a very prestigious school in Canada. I don't know of anyone better than her," Amy replied, pride surging in at her best friend's accomplishments.   
  
"Get her."  
  
"But Mr. Shields, I just told you, she lives in Toronto and I don't know if-"  
  
"I said get her. Why would you build up your friend's reputation if you knew you couldn't get her? So my mother and I would know what we could've had once we hire a second rate physical therapist?" Darien said, narrowing his eyes dangerously. "Let me make myself clear, Dr. Anderson. The Shields family is a major benefactor of this hospital. In fact, the only reason you got that new equipment for the neo-natal unit is because of the influence we have in this city. My mother sits on the board of directors and Shields Financial is one of the major sponsors of the oncology department at this hospital. Get the girl, and we won't pull our money out of this hospital, you got that?"   
  
Amy sighed and nodded. "I'll do the best I can."  
  
"Good. Now, can you kindly point us in the direction of my father's room so we could pay him a visit?" Darien said, happy that he was getting his way. He led his mother to his father's room, listening to her rebuking him for speaking to the doctor that way with only half an ear.  
  
Amy watched mother and son walk away before turning in the opposite direction to head back to her office. Once there, she removed her stethoscope and threw it haphazardly on the couch. She sank her tired body in her leather swivel chair and dialed a familiar long-distance number on her phone.   
  
"Serena? Hi, it's Amy....Yeah, I know it's been a long time since we've last visited each other...Uh-huh, uh-huh, yeah I miss you too. Listen, I have a huge favour to ask you..."  
  
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So, what do you think so far? I know this story sounds a little cliché right now, but for those of you who have read my other story, you'll know that this is how I work. I work with the clichés and turn it into something that's totally my own, I hope. I'm a total review whore so please send in your comments, and try to cut down on the flames, k? I'm not flame retardant. 


	2. Serena

Hey all, I'll keep this short and sweet. I don't own SM. There, I said it.  
  
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~***************~  
  
Wounded Souls  
  
Chapter 1-Serena  
  
By: crystal rose  
  
~***************~  
  
*Ding dong*  
  
"I'm coming!" Molly cried, the apron of her housekeeping uniform fluttering as she dashed through the Shields mansion in a mad attempt to answer the door. 'Isn't answering the door Melvin's job? Oh yeah, it's his day off today. Damn.'  
  
*Ding dong*  
  
"Alright already! Hold your horses!" Reaching the heavy wooden double doors, Molly swung them open and peered outside. "Yes, may I help you?"   
  
A girl with blonde hair arranged in a messy bun stared right back at her with huge blue eyes. Molly noted the numerous pieces of luggage that littered the front walk and the taxicab that was backing out of the long driveway. The girl smiled sheepishly as she saw Molly gazing in wonder at all her baggage.  
  
"Uh hi. My name's Serena Mathis. Sorry about all the bags but I didn't know how long I would be out here. If you could just point me to my room, I'll be happy to carry my bags up," the 5'2" waif told a stunned Molly.  
  
'Is she another one of Mr. Shields' girlfriends? Funny, she doesn't look his type. Maybe he's finally settling down.'  
  
"Excuse me, miss? I do have the right address, right? This _is_ the Shields' mansion, right?" Serena asked worriedly. "Because if it isn't, I'll just call another cab and be on my way-"  
  
Molly suddenly found her voice. "No-no, don't do that! I mean, you're right, this is the Shields' mansion. I'm sorry but I didn't know that Mr. Shields' girlfriend was moving in today or I would have made preparations..."  
  
It was Serena's turn to be stunned. "Girlfriend? Oh God, no! I'm Mr. Shields' physical trainer from Canada! I spoke to Dr. Anderson about his condition last week and she told me that Mr. Darien Shields specifically asked that I work on his father's rehabilitation program. She said that they would provide me with a room in their house, but if that's not the case, I'll just find a hotel until I can move into an apartment or something..."  
  
"Don't be silly Ms. Mathis! I just wasn't aware of the situation, is all. Why don't we take your luggage inside and you can wait for Mrs. Shields to come and explain to her your situation yourself?" Molly asked as she started bringing in Serena' s bags.   
  
"Well, I don't want to bother Mrs. Shields if she's busy..." Serena faltered. Already, Molly had brought in the last of her bags and they stood in the grand foyer of the huge mansion. "I don't want to be a to be a bother, especially at this time."  
  
"Molly, who was at the door?" a silver-haired lady asked as she emerged from the sitting room door. She frowned at the unfamiliar blonde looking nervously back at her. 'Must be another one of my son's women. When will he learn that the right woman is just around the corner and not in every bar or nightclub that he frequents?'  
  
"Good morning, ma'am. This is Ms. Serena Mathis, Mr. Shields' new physical trainer. I'm really sorry but I wasn't aware that she would be staying here, otherwise I would have fixed a room for her," apologized Molly.  
  
Candace Shields smiled. 'So she's not one of Darien's floozies after all.' She made her way to the two women awaiting her verdict. "Don't worry, Molly dear, I'm sure it was just a misunderstanding. Hello Ms. Mathis, I'm Candace Shields. Welcome to my home. Please forgive us for the lack of welcome we gave you. Molly, please prepare the "Yellow Room" for our guest."  
  
"Nice to meet you Mrs. Shields, but please, call me Serena. I'm really sorry for the mix-up and for not calling before I arrived but I had so many things to take care of before I left that I just couldn't find the time," said Serena, eyeing Molly as she ascended the stairs like a seasoned mountain climber with one of her suitcases. "I should really help her with those. Some of them are really heavy."  
  
"Nonsense. She can just ask another housekeeper to help her with the more heavy bags. Have you eaten, dear? I can imagine how uncomfortable you must feel after your, what, five hour flight?" Candace said, putting an arm around Serena and leading her to the breakfast room. "By the way, if we're to be friends, please call me Candace."  
  
"Thank you Mrs...Candace. But please, don't go to any trouble on my account. I had some food on the plane and the ride here wasn't all that uncomfortable," Serena said as Candace was seating her in a chair and piling a plate with some eggs and bacon.  
  
"Eat up, dear. No need to be shy around me; I know how traveling cross-country can knock the wind out of a person's sails," she said.  
  
Serena smiled genuinely. Already she was beginning to like Candace Shields and could easily see that she did not like to take no for an answer. "Thank you Mrs. Shields. Now that you mention it, I _am_ kind of hungry."  
  
"Candace, my dear, call me Candace."  
  
"I'm sorry Candace. It's just that my mother always taught me never to address grown-ups by their first names and it's just a hard habit to break," Serena blushed. "What I mean is, she told me never to call my elders by their first names-not that you're my elder; well you are older than me, but you're certainly not an _elder_ in the biblical sense. I mean..." Serena stammered nervously.   
  
Candace laughed at the young woman's antics. "Relax Serena. I may look old, but that doesn't mean my sense of humour has gone downhill right along with me. Besides, aren't you a 'grown-up' yourself?"  
  
Serena grinned lopsidedly and shook her head vehemently. "My friend Raye back in Toronto says that I'll never grow up and I have no intention of doing so. Being a grown-up just seems so wrong when I feel like I'm only sixteen."  
  
"Well good for you, Serena. That kind of attitude will get you through life's hurdles and keep you looking as young as I am. Personally, I'm not a day over fifteen myself." The two women laughed but stopped when they heard a throat clearing in the room.  
  
"Excuse me, Mrs. Shields, Ms. Mathis? The room is ready," said Molly.  
  
"Lead the way, Molly dear," Candace said.  
  
"Molly, why don't you just call me Serena? Ms. Mathis makes me sound so old," said Serena. Molly turned to her employer, silently asking permission to do so. Mrs. Shields nodded her head almost imperceptibly.   
  
"Alright...Serena. Please come this way." Molly led the women up to Serena's room. Upon seeing it, Serena gasped with delight.  
  
"Candace! This room is bigger than my loft in Toronto. You really shouldn't have! Surely you made a mistake or something?"  
  
The room was decorated in the French Provencale style, with the walls painted a creamy buttery yellow and French doors leading to a small balcony overlooking the English rose garden below. There was a huge four-poster bed with big, fluffy pillows and a lacy coverlet on top of the yellow duvet. A comfortable looking sitting area was arranged in front of the fireplace, which looked like it had come from 18th century France all the way to twenty-first century Los Angeles. Rugs decorated the hardwood floor and rustic vases holding beautiful white tulips and roses were spread throughout the room. Serena's bags were piled neatly beside white louvered doors, no doubt the closet.   
  
"We'll let you get unpacked, dear, and then you can meet my husband Walter. If you need anything, just dial 2 on the phone to speak to any of the staff. Your room extension is 6. Don't worry, there's a directory beside the phone if you need to call another room. Dial 9 for an outside number," said Candace on her way out the room, thoroughly enjoying Serena's stunned look.   
  
Serena looked around the room, her gaze falling on an antique armoire. Curiosity getting the better of her, she opened the doors to find a 21" TV and stereo system housed within. She closed the doors and turned around, looking this time at another door on the other side of her room. Crossing the expanse, she opened the mysterious door to a full ensuite bath, complete with a claw-footed white bathtub and marble shower, big enough for two people. Shaking her head at her new living arrangements, she walked back to her suitcases and started unpacking.  
  
~**********************~  
  
An hour later, Serena headed back downstairs in search of Mrs. Shields. Turning round the corner, she felt herself bump into something soft. "Oh hello again, Molly. Could you please tell me where I could find Candace?"  
  
"Sure Serena. Mrs. Shields is in the library with Mr. Shields. Here, I'll take you," offered Molly, her prior engagement in the laundry room forgotten for the time being. 'This girl's really nice. Nicer than the other houseguests Mr. Shields has brought home.'  
  
"Thanks Molly."   
  
Pretty soon, Molly and Serena found themselves at the impressive library filled to the brim with leather bound books and numerous works of art, including an oil portrait of the Shields family above the fireplace mantel. Serena identified a younger version of Candace, who had blonde hair at the time the portrait was painted, and a man she guessed was Walter Shields. The little boy with black hair and deep blue eyes would have to be none other than Darien Shields, many years younger. She saw Mr. and Mrs. Shields sitting on the couch, and signaled to Molly that she was now fine on her own.   
  
"Excuse me, Candace? Is this a good time to meet Mr. Shields?" Serena asked when Molly had left the room.  
  
Candace rose from her seat on the couch and motioned for Serena to come closer. "Of course, dear. Come and meet my husband Walter. Honey, this is Serena Mathis, your new physical trainer."  
  
Serena smiled warmly and bent down in front of Walter so that they were eye to eye. Extending her hand, which he shakily took, she said, "it's a pleasure to meet you Walter. As Candace said, my name is Serena. We're going to be working together to make sure that you get back to your old form, okay?"  
  
"I dddon't ne-need-uh any h-he-help, Msss. Mat-Ma-Mathis," Walter slurred. It was clear to Serena that Walter was very much the independent type before the stroke and would now try to assert that independence on her.  
  
Serena smiled understandingly. "Everybody needs help once in a while, Mr. Shields. It's not a weakness to ask for it, or even need it."  
  
Walter Shields was not taken by Serena's charming smile or her gentle attitude. To him, Serena's behaviour was just an act to placate him into accepting the fact that he was no longer the man he used to be. Before this damned stroke, he ruled the most powerful investment firm in the country, dammit! He shouldn't have to be treated like some infant child by a slip of a girl who looked barely out of childhood herself. "L-lee-vuh mee alonuh. I d-don'tuh needuh your h-helpuh," Walter annunciated each word slowly, in order to prevent himself from slurring his speech, to prove his point.  
  
Once again, Serena smiled. "Of course, Mr. Shields but you can't get rid of me that easily. Tomorrow we start our exercises, okay?"  
  
Walter grunted derisively in response and turned his head, indicating that he was finished with the conversation. Serena nodded her head to herself and stood up. She walked back to Candace who had been observing the interaction between Serena and her stubborn husband.  
  
"Well Serena, what do you think you can do for him?"   
  
"Your husband is luckier than other stroke victims I've seen. At least he can still communicate and he still has control of his motor skills, even if they are a bit shaky. Don't worry, Candace. I've worked with people like him before; proud, self-sufficient types who would rather die than ask for help. My style of treatment is to help them without them knowing it. Sure, I use the tried-and-true methods like working in the gym once in a while, but most of the time, I take my patients on short walks, paint pictures with them, and get them to help me with simple tasks. Eventually, their muscles get used to the activity plus their brains start to mend their destroyed pathways as they start to relearn what it is they've forgotten. I can't promise that you'll have the same man you had before the stroke, but I can promise you that your husband will be able to regain some of his independence back," she summarized in her most authoritative manner.  
  
Candace was impressed with how Serena was able to shift gears so quickly and adapt to any situation when the need called for it. "That's all I can ask for, dear."  
  
Glancing at her watch, Serena said, "if you don't need me for anything else Candace, I have an appointment downtown and with traffic..."  
  
"Say no more. I'll have the chauffeur come up to the front-"  
  
"That's quite alright Candace. You've already outdone yourself enough for me. I'll just call a cab before I wash up. Besides, if I'm going to live here, I may as well learn how to get around the city by myself, right?" Serena reasoned.  
  
"Well, if you're sure..."  
  
"I'm sure. I'll just call the cab now and head back upstairs to freshen up," Serena said firmly as she dialed the phone number for a taxi.  
  
"Okay dear. Dinner will be at six o'clock when my son comes home from work. His room is right beside yours, by the way, if you ever need anything," Candace replied.  
  
"I'm sure whatever I'll need will already be in my room, but thanks. I'll be back before six though; my appointment's only an hour long," she said before turning back to the phone in her hand and speaking to the taxi dispatcher. When she was done, she walked upstairs and locked the washroom door behind her. Turning on the faucet, she began to wash her hands.   
  
As she began to rinse her hands under the hot water, her mind began to wander back to her days in high school. 'Why can't I forget that time? It's been years since you were that girl, Serena. You're in a new place-nothing can hurt you if you don't let it.'  
  
Her thought were interrupted by a loud knock on the door.  
  
"Serena? It's Molly. Your cab is downstairs."  
  
Serena stared at her raw, red hands. It was only upon hearing Molly's voice did she realize that she had been washing her hands for almost fifteen minutes. Shutting off the water, she dried her hands on the towel beside her. "Thanks, Molly. I'm coming."  
  
~***********************~  
  
Serena sat nervously on the waiting room couch. There were two other people waiting with her, silently reading their magazines. 'Hah, too bad. I'm next.'  
  
As she was silently gloating over her status as next in line for the doctor's attention, she noticed that the receptionist picked up the phone on her desk and speak a few soft words into it.  
  
"Ms. Mathis? The doctor is ready to see you now."  
  
Serena nodded and entered the room nervously. She was always a little nervous about meeting new people. She saw a young man-probably not much older than herself- sitting behind a heavy mahogany desk. He rose from his seat, his green eyes twinkling and shook her hand.   
  
"What can I do for you today, Ms. Mathis?"  
  
"Well, for starters, my therapist back in Toronto, Dr. Mina Maxwell, referred you to me when I told her that I had to move..."  
  
~*******************************~  
  
About two hours later, Serena found herself back at the Shields mansion. 'There's no way I could ever call this a house. Their garage is the size of my mother's house. There's no other word for this place other than _manor_.' She yawned hugely. 'Maybe I should go and sleep off this jet lag until dinner.' Catching Molly dusting in the foyer, Serena let her know that she was back and asked her to give her a call when it was time for dinner.  
  
An hour and a half later, Serena woke up to the phone on the nightstand ringing shrilly in her ear. "Um, hello?" she asked groggily, blinking sleepily.  
  
"Serena, I'm sorry to wake you, but you asked me to call you when dinner was ready. If you like, I could have it sent up to you," Molly's voice stated over the line.  
  
Serena woke up in an instant. "That's okay Moll, I'll be right there." She hung up the phone before Molly could say another word.  
  
Serena changed out of her rumpled sweat pants and T-shirt ensemble and into a pair of black pants and a white button-down top that hugged her figure without being too revealing. 'That should do. I don't know whether they wear evening gowns and tuxedos before they eat for dinner so I guess that's just tough luck on all of us-especially me- if they do.'  
  
Shaking her head wryly, Serena started down the hallway and down the winding staircase. She had been walking along the numerous corridors, admiring the beautiful décor, when she suddenly realized she had no idea where she was going. Making random turns, hoping to run into someone, Serena walked through a heavy oak door and was astonished to find not the dining room as she had hoped, but an indoor swimming pool, complete with change rooms for men and women and a patio set and a fully stocked bar.   
  
"May I help you?" a voice behind her asked. Serena turned around slowly and was surprised to find a man with jet-black hair and piercing blue eyes staring in amusement at her.   
  
"You're the little boy in the painting!" she cried, immediately slapping her forehead at her stupidity. The man looked at her in amusement, laughter in his eyes.   
  
"Painting? Oh you must mean the painting in the library. Yes, that was me back when I was just eight years old. My name's Darien Shields, what's yours?"  
  
"Serena Mathis, your father's new physical trainer. Nice to meet you," she replied, taking his offered hand. She blushed as he held her hand for a second longer than was necessary before gently releasing it. "Molly called me down for dinner, but stupid me, I hung up the phone before she could tell me where the dining room was."  
  
Darien chuckled, his eyes taking in her blushing form. 'She's beautiful.' He immediately felt a tightening in his black swim trucks. "Why don't you wait for me here while I change and we could head down to the dining room together?"  
  
For the first time, Serena was aware of the fact that Darien was donned in swim trunks and nothing else. She giggled, her voice echoing off the tiles in the cavernous room. The sound was amplified it until it sounded like a thousand fairies laughing. Darien was enchanted instantly.   
  
"What's so funny, Serena?"  
  
"I never even noticed that you were just in your swim trunks until you mentioned it, that's all," she said, giggling nervously, taking in his muscular torso and wet hair, slicked back with a few strands falling stubbornly in his eyes. She swallowed, furiously trying to think pure thoughts. "Alright, I'll wait here until you get changed, but hurry up; I've been walking around your house for the past ten minutes getting hungrier by the second. Don't ask me what happened to the last guy that kept me waiting for my dinner," she teased.  
  
Darien laughed, sending chills down Serena's spine. 'Relax Serena. Don't get taken in by him. Sure he's a pretty face, but he's probably just like the rest of them.'  
  
"Okay Serena, I'll only take a few minutes. Be right back," he said, disappearing through the men's change room door. 'I wonder what it'll feel like to have her in my bed?' At this thought, he felt himself getting harder and fought to regain control. When he could no longer fight it, he jumped into the shower, blasted the cold water and stroked himself to release.  
  
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End Chapter One. Come back soon for the next chapter and don't forget to review this one!  
  
May 27, 2002 


	3. Darien

It's me again, crystal rose, with chapter 2 of Wounded Souls. I'm getting sick and tired of always saying that I don't own SM, so from now on, this disclaimer applies to the rest of the chapters of this story. Once again, I don't own SM; never have, never will. I also want to apologize to those who were offended or uncomfortable with the graphic nature of the previous chapter, but I have to warn you; this story is rated R, so there are adult themes, mostly of a sexual nature, in this story. That doesn't mean it's going to turn into a porno fic; I just want to slowly weave Serena and Darien's issues with sex from the background into the foreground of this story.   
  
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Wounded Souls  
  
Chapter 2-Darien  
  
By: crystal rose  
  
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Serena woke up buried beneath luxurious sheets on an unfamiliar bed. For a second, she was disoriented as she gazed around the room. 'Where the hell am I?' Suddenly, memories of the previous day rushed back into her mind. Her unexpected arrival, the meeting with Candace and Walter, and especially her meeting with Darien by the pool, threw her head into a spin. Serena blushed at the last thought. 'Forget him, Serena. You're supposed to focus on Walter Shields, not his son. I bet Darien already has a girlfriend anyway. Don't get caught up with that life again, Serena.'   
  
Having strengthened her convictions, Serena glanced at the clock and saw that it was only 6:30 in the morning. 'No wonder I feel so awake. In Toronto, it's already 9:30. I guess I'll just get an early start for the day.' She struggled to heave the sheets and heavy duvet off of her and managed to climb down from the massive bed without much damage. Grabbing her articles of clothing, she padded her way to her washroom and decided to take a hot shower.   
  
She turned on the faucet and proceeded to strip her clothes before stepping into the large shower stall. The hot water pounded on her skin from the rainhead showerhead, making her feel like she was standing under a waterfall. 'Ah, this is the life.' She lathered her waist-length hair with her strawberry scented shampoo and conditioner, before reaching for her loofah. Turning the faucet so that it was at the hottest temperature she could stand before it scalded her skin, she proceeded to scrub herself until her body turned pink from the heat and the loofah. 'I feel so dirty. I've got to scrub harder.'  
  
Finally, the hot water ran out after standing still under the showerhead for a full half hour. Serena turned the water off and reached for the fluffy white towel that Molly had left for her the night before. Steam rose in billows from the shower stall when she opened its doors. She hurriedly got dressed and walked back into her bedroom where she proceeded to make the bed after drying her long hair and styling it into a simple ponytail.   
  
She stepped out onto her small balcony and inhaled the fresh scent of roses coming from the formal English garden below. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw the doors opening on the balcony adjacent to hers and wondered who could be up this early in the morning. She didn't have to wonder long, for Darien himself stepped out, dressed in a charcoal business suit. Noticing something gold fluttering in the breeze to his right, Darien turned his head and was overcome with the vision that was Serena, who was dressed in casual form-fitting track pants and a baby-T. Darien swallowed, as that familiar feeling of desire pooled in the pit of his stomach. "Good morning, Serena! What're you doing up so early?"  
  
Serena smiled, which to Darien seemed brighter than the sun itself. "Well, it's not so early from my perspective, having come from a different time zone and all. Where I come from, it's already 10:30!"  
  
"Well, breakfast is usually served at quarter to eight, so in the meantime, do you want to make our way downstairs?" he asked, smiling rakishly when she nodded her head enthusiastically. "Wait for me to come to your room." He said, even as he was disappearing through his French doors.  
  
Serena sighed contentedly as she entered her own room and closed the doors behind her. Sure enough, she heard a sharp knock on door, and knew it was Darien coming to pick her up.  
  
"Coming!"   
  
Darien was leaning against one side of the doorframe when she flung open the door. He peered in and looked around. Seeing her already-made bed, he frowned. "Did Molly already come into your room?"  
  
"Huh? No, I haven't seen Molly since she gave me those towels before I turned in last night. Why do you ask?" Serena replied, stepping through the door and into the hallway.  
  
"Oh nothing, it's just that your bed was made, is all," Darien said nonchalantly.  
  
"I made the bed myself. My mom always made my younger brother Sammy and me make our beds before we left for school. One time, Sammy forgot to make his bed so mom made him do it before he went to bed that night. I don't know what made me tell you that; you probably think I'm crazy for bringing that story up. It's not even a story-it's just a random fact in my childhood years that you couldn't even care less about. But if you were in my shoes, you would know that not making your bed in my parents' house was tantamount to...your parents finding out that you lied to them about being a virgin. They're mad about it, but they know they can't do anything about it so they make your life miserable forever just for the hell of it," Serena said, her words coming out faster and faster until it was all Darien could do to keep up with her.   
  
"Do you always talk this fast?" Darien said, a hint of amusement in his voice. Serena blushed and wrinkled her nose at him.   
  
"Don't you start. All my friends tease me about my tendency to talk really fast, especially when I'm walking towards food. I don't know what the connection between talking fast and the anticipation of eating good food is, but my friends say I get really excited when I know I'm about to eat. Personally, I don't see it," she sniffed haughtily.  
  
Darien chuckled at her upturned face resulting in her nose being pointed high in the air. "I don't see it either. Your friends must not know what they're talking about," he teased, sarcasm dripping in his voice.   
  
She whipped her head and looked at him in mock annoyance. "You're just as bad as they are! They're just jealous that I can eat whatever I want and not gain an ounce. It's called high metabolism, my friend, high metabolism."  
  
"Speaking of food, you're going to love Lita's cooking. She makes the best food in the world and it still amazes me that she's working here instead of just opening her own restaurant. I have a feeling you two are going to get along real well. Lita appreciates a person with a discriminating palate," Darien said, leading Serena to the gourmet kitchen where a tall, brown haired woman was whipping up a batch of blueberry pancakes.  
  
"Ah, that's where you're wrong, Darien. I don't have a discriminating palate; I eat just about everything and anything. You could spread wood glue on a piece of shoe leather and sprinkle it with parsley and I would pronounce it the best slice of leather and glue I've ever had," said Serena solemnly.  
  
"What's this I hear about shoe leather and glue? Darien, that better not be you telling our guest here that my food tastes like that," said the woman, waving her spatula around threateningly.  
  
Darien waved his hands in mock surrender. "Chill Lita! Serena was just telling me about her penchant for a good, chewy piece of leather, slathered with a healthy helping of wood glue and sprinkled with curly-leaf parsley, that's all. She says it's an old family recipe."  
  
"Darien!" Serena squealed in embarrassment, smacking him playfully on the shoulder. "Don't believe anything he says. Everyone knows the flat-leaf parsley better enhances the strong flavours of wood glue, aged to perfection." Serena and Darien laughed helplessly at their private joke, leaving Lita scratching her head at the pair.  
  
"How rude of me. Serena Mathis, let me introduce you to our chef extraordinaire, Lita O'Neal. Lita, this is Serena, dad's physical therapist," introduced Darien. The two women smiled at each other and shook hands.  
  
"I know who she is, Darien! Gossip travels fast in this place, especially when it concerns you," Lita teased, causing Darien to blush and Serena to raise her eyebrow at him.  
  
"Tell me Lita, is there much gossip about young master Shields floating about this place?" said Serena, playing along.  
  
"Hey! I _am_ still in the room, you know! I know the gossip mills in this house like to make me the topic of conversation, but could you please do it when I'm _not_ in the room?" cried Darien.  
  
"Sure, sure, whatever you say, _Mr._ Shields. How about you and Serena take the ham and cheese omelets and the toast to the breakfast room while I finish with the pancakes?" said Lita, thrusting a platter of omelets in Darien's arms and a platter of toast in Serena's. "Oh and Serena? We'll continue this conversation later when you-know-who goes to work."   
  
Serena and Lita laughed at Darien's outraged expression. "Come on, Darien. If you don't hurry, you'll be late for work."  
  
"I run the damn place. If I'm late, who's going to scold me?" he mumbled as he pouted. Serena immediately felt bad for making him mad.  
  
"Darien? You know we were just joking around, right? I would never gossip about anyone I know. Just the ones I don't," she said softly, not realizing what she said.  
  
Darien laughed out loud. "So you just gossip about people you don't know, huh? I'm glad we met yesterday, otherwise I might just find myself the main subject in one of Lita and Molly's gossip sessions. Don't worry Serena, my friends have told me that I've got thicker skin than a rhino. No harsh feelings," he said as he nudged the breakfast room door with his foot.  
  
Inside the breakfast room, Candace and Walter were already seated at the table waiting for the food to arrive. They both looked up expectantly when the door opened and were surprised to see not only Serena but also Darien as well.  
  
"Darien! What are you doing here? You never stay for breakfast!" exclaimed Candace in surprise. She smiled inwardly when she saw the picture Serena and Darien made, how their personalities seemed to complement each other's. Their physical features themselves made them look like a perfect match. One was tall, the other short; one had black hair, the other blonde hair; one was broad and muscular, the other slender and dainty. 'Light and Dark. That's what they used to call Walter and I. Now it seems that the mantle has been passed to Darien and Serena.'  
  
Darien kissed his mother's cheek affectionately and set his platter on the table, motioning for Serena to do the same. "Good morning mom, dad. I thought that I would just grab a bite to eat of Lita's delicious food. I _am_ a growing boy, you know."  
  
Walter just snorted in response. 'Growing boy my ass. He just couldn't resist a pretty face. I may not be able to communicate as well as I have been, but my mind's still sharp as a tack.' To his dismay, Serena chose to sit next to him.  
  
"Good morning Mr. Shields, Candace. Are you ready to get started today Mr. Shields? I was just thinking we could do some light stretches for today for maybe, oh I don't know, half an hour. Does that sound all right to you, Mr. Shields?" she asked.  
  
"Humph. L-liss-ten girlie. I d-don'tuh need y-your h-helpuh. I c-c-can do it muh-myself," he said indignantly. (AN: I'm getting sick of typing like this when Walter's talking so from now on, just assume he's stuttering or slurring.)  
  
"Of course you can do it yourself. That's the whole point. I watch, you do. I'm just here to make sure that you don't wind up hurting yourself even more but all the work is up to you. It's no skin off my nose if you don't want to get better. But fine, if you want to remain this way for the rest of your life just because you don't want my help, I'll just pack my bags and move back to Toronto," Serena said, tasting the omelet on her plate. She closed her eyes and tilted her head back to savour the taste.   
  
"Mmmmm. Darien, you were SO right about Lita's cooking! This is the best omelet I've ever had, including my mother's-but don't tell her that. My mom, I mean, not Lita. My mom would disown me forever if she heard I liked someone else's cooking better than hers. Here, Mr. Shields, try some," she said as she placed an omelet on Walter's plate. Darien shifted uncomfortably in his chair when he saw Serena tilting her head and heard her low moan of appreciation for Lita's cooking. He could just imagine her doing that on his bed as he had his way with her.  
  
Walter, however, was not amused. Here was this little girl telling him not only what to do, but now, what to eat! Besides, he's been eating Lita's omelets everyday for the past five years; he knows what they're like. "I'm only eating this because I want to, not because you told me to."  
  
"Of course, Mr. Shields. I wouldn't think any less of you if you did, though." Serena, Candace and Darien watched as Walter struggled to pick up his fork, before giving up in disgust. Candace moved to feed him, but one look from Serena stopped her. "Why don't you pretend the fork's a pen, Mr. Shields, and you've just signed a multimillion dollar contract?"  
  
Walter snorted. 'A pen indeed. Fine, if it'll get her off my back, the damn fork will now become a pen.' This time, when Walter was able to grab the pen successfully and even managed to spear a cube of ham embedded within the eggs. It was odd how he felt a surge of triumph for doing something he'd been doing his entire life.   
  
"Well, since Mr. Shields feels like he doesn't need my help, I guess I'll just go up to my room-after breakfast of course-and start packing. Hopefully, I'll be back in Toronto by this evening," Serena drawled on, watching Mr. Shields out of the corner of her eye and heaping maple syrup over her stack of pancakes, which Molly had just brought in. "Mmm, Darien. How can you _not_ eat breakfast here everyday when you _know_ what Lita's food tastes like? Candace, your kitchen is food heaven. Everything just keeps getting better and better. I will miss this when I'm back home. Darien, could you pass the bacon?" Apparently, Darien moved too slowly for Serena's liking for she reached over and grabbed the platter herself. Darien grinned as he watched her slide five slices of bacon on her plate, before deciding to go for a sixth.  
  
'How can Serena eat so much and still be so slim?' Candace thought, as she watched Serena shovel the food into her mouth.  
  
As she was eating, Serena thought she heard Walter mumble something beside her. "I'm sorry Mr. Shields, I didn't hear what you just said. Too busy eating."  
  
"I _said_ you don't have to go quite so soon. I'll try you out for a while and see how it works. But make no mistake, girlie, that you work for me and not the other way around. I'm the boss, whatever I say, goes. Got that?" (He's still stuttering and slurring, okay? : )  
  
"Of course Mr. Shields. Wouldn't have it any other way. Here, eat up. We have a lot of work to do later," she replied, putting a slice of toast on Walter's plate. Darien's lip was quivering as he tried to hold his laughter back upon seeing his father's outraged expression. Finishing up his coffee, Darien stood up.  
  
"Well, got to go work. Bye mom, dad. Good luck Serena," bending low so that his mouth was close to her ear, he murmured, "you're going to need it." He smirked to himself when he saw her face flush and goose bumps rise on her arms. Apparently, Candace and Walter also noticed their son flirting with Serena, for Candace turned to her husband and raised an eyebrow, the smallest of smiles tugging the corners of her mouth. Walter responded by rolling his eyes, watching his son walk out the door.  
  
"So Candace, is there somewhere Walter and I could go to do some stretches?" Serena asked after she managed to pull herself together.  
  
"You could always use the gym. Darien had that built after he got fed up with the gym he used to go to. Something about too many guys in the locker room, he said." Serena smiled. It was just like Darien to be uncomfortable in a change room with other guys around. "I could take you to the gym when you're ready."  
  
"Thank-you Candace, that would be great."   
  
~***********************************~  
  
"All right Mr. Shields. We're going to start out with a few stretches so that your muscles can get relaxed. We'll take this slow at first, then as your body gets stronger, we're going to do harder and harder things. Pretty soon, you'll be pulling a Forrest Gump and running across the country in nothing but your ratty shoes, homemade t-shirt, skimpy shorts and Rip Van Winkle beard," Serena predicted. Walter made a noise that sounded suspiciously like a 'over my dead body.'  
  
After a few minutes of stretching silently on Walter's part, and incessant chatter on Serena's, it was clear to Serena that Walter was planning to make things difficult for her. 'Time for a new strategy.'  
  
"Mr. Shields, how about we skip the exercises for today? I was thinking since I just got here yesterday, I would get you to tour me around your house and the estate. We could stop any time you get tired of the tour or me and I promise to take things slow. How about it?"  
  
'Hmmm. If I say no, that means I have to stay here and listen to her talk my ear off while I do these impossible stretches. If I tour her around the house, I have to listen to her talk my ear off but at least I won't be stuck here.' Walter nodded his head grudgingly.  
  
Serena jumped up and down, clapping her hands like a kid. "Great! Where do we start?"  
  
Walter heaved a long-suffering sigh. "Why don't we start in your wing of the house and work our way around?"  
  
"My wing of the house? What do you mean by that?"  
  
"You and Darien are the only ones in that wing of the house. When Darien grew up, his mother and I decided to let him have that half of the house for privacy. Candace and I live in the east wing, you two are in the west," Walter explained slowly to minimize his stuttering. He led Serena up the flight of stairs that would take her to 'her wing.' He didn't seem to notice Serena's arm looped through his, supporting him as he walked.  
  
"How many bedrooms are in this house, Mr. Shields?"  
  
"Fifteen, not including the staff's quarters. Seven in my wing and eight in yours. The staff have ten bedrooms in the north wing adjacent to the west wing."  
  
"FIFTEEN? But there's only three of you! Do you realize that there are more staff in this house than there are Shields?."  
  
Walter found himself smiling at her outburst. He led her at his own pace through the house that he had built when his business became a worldwide success almost thirty years ago. He was slightly worried that he was going too slowly for such an active young woman such as Serena, but one glance at her dispelled his fears. She was admiring every piece of furniture and decoration as if they were museum pieces.   
  
"Are you feeling tired, Mr. Shields? We could stop and take a break, you know," said Serena worriedly. She hadn't heard him putting up a fight in a long while.  
  
"Now you listen here, girlie. Just because I had a stroke, doesn't mean I'm down for the count. My body may be a little weaker than I want it to be, but my mind's still ticking," he slurred huffily, although Serena noticed that it wasn't with the same scornful attitude he displayed during breakfast.  
  
"Well, I'm feeling a bit tired. Why don't we take a break until lunch and we can resume with the tour, starting with the gardens?"   
  
"Well, okay. I was hoping to talk with my wife about something, anyway," Walter said gruffly. He hated to admit it, but he also felt tired after their exhaustive walk throughout the house. He hadn't realized how big his house really was. There were rooms in there that he hadn't even visited in months.   
  
After walking arm in arm for ten minutes, they found Candace arranging white orchids in a vase in the kitchen. Upon seeing them together, Candace smiled, somehow not surprised that Serena managed to win over her prickly pear of a husband.   
  
"There you two are! I went to the gym a while ago but you weren't there anymore. Where did you guys go?"  
  
"Oh Candace! Your house is _gorgeous_! I just managed to convince Mr. Shields here to take me on a tour of the house. After lunch, we're going around the grounds, if he's still up for it," Serena said excitedly. "Is it true that you have a stable here, Mr. Shields? I thought I heard some horses whinnying in the distance while I was standing on the balcony in my room this morning."  
  
Candace smiled at Serena's enthusiasm. "Yes dear. We have five thoroughbreds in the stable and we just got another stallion but he's too wild to ride just yet. Darien's been raising them to compete in the racing circuit. Do you ride?"  
  
"I used to take riding lessons before my father died when I was fifteen. I haven't been on a horse since," Serena said softly. She blinked away the imminent tears. "My dad used to love horses. We would go to the racetrack just to watch the horses run. Of course, he would sometimes place a bet when he felt lucky. He always used to let me choose the horse we would bet on. We always lost, but it was fun just cheering our horse on together."  
  
"You could always get Darien to ride with you some day. He's an expert rider. He's the one who's into horses around here," Candace replied, tactfully changing the subject.  
  
"How about you Mr. Shields, do you ride?" asked Serena.  
  
"Taught that boy everything he knows about riding," said Walter, puffing up his chest.   
  
"Then maybe when you're strong enough we could go for a ride together, huh?"  
  
"Perhaps," said Walter loftily. Candace and Serena exchanged small smiles when Walter wasn't looking. Candace could tell that Serena was already getting through Walter's walls.   
  
"Oh Candace, would you mind if I made a local call to my friend Amy? She's the one who treated Mr. Shields in the hospital. Amy and I have been friends since high school back in Toronto," Serena explained.  
  
"Of course, dear. This is your home now too. Feel free to use anything that you would like. You could even call long-distance, if you want to. I know you must be missing some of your family and friends back in Toronto," Candace said understandingly.   
  
"Thanks Candace. Oooh, I'm so excited. I haven't seen Amy in two years! If you'll excuse me, I think I'll call her right now," she said, bouncing away.  
  
Candace and Walter looked at her retreating figure. "So what do you think of your new physical therapist, dear?"  
  
"She's okay, just a little too bouncy for my taste sometimes. I suppose I have no other choice than to work with her," he replied.  
  
"Just as long as all you do is work with her, my love," Candace teased. Even after thirty-four years, Walter still made her heart race.  
  
"There's only one blonde in this world for me, and that's you. Besides, I think Darien will have a few choice words for anyone who gets Serena's heart before he does," Walter said as his wife started laughing.   
  
~*********************************~  
  
"Good morning, Dr. Anderson's office," a nasally voice said over the phone.  
  
"Um hello. May I please speak to Dr. Anderson?" Serena said.  
  
"One moment please."   
  
"Than-" Serena started saying thank-you to the receptionist but found that she was already put on hold. 'Some people are so rude.'  
  
"Hello, Dr. Anderson speaking."  
  
"Amy? Hi, it's me!" Serena squealed, the receptionist forgotten.  
  
"Serena? Where are you?" Amy asked, her excitement getting the better of her.  
  
"I'm in LA living in the Shields mansion. Oh Amy, you should see this place. There's fifteen rooms plus ten for the staff, an indoor pool, a library bigger and better than the public library in our old neighbourhood, a STABLE-" Serena rattled on, hardly giving Amy room to get a word in edgewise.  
  
"Serena...Serena...Serena, you're doing it again! I can't understand a word you're saying! If I heard correctly, you're in LA now? At the Shields mansion?" interjected Amy.  
  
"YES! Isn't that what I've just said? I got here yesterday. We HAVE to get together soon. How about tomorrow afternoon? We could just chill here, or you could give me a tour of LA. Oh, I know! How about Disneyland? Come on Ames, tomorrow's Saturday, don't tell me you have to work! Please, please, please, come over tomorrow?" Serena begged.   
  
Amy smiled at her friend's enthusiasm. "Alright, I'll come over tomorrow but I'm afraid Disneyland is out of the question because I'm on call. I'd hate to leave you in the middle of the park if I get called down."  
  
"Okay, come over. You should meet Lita. She's the chef around here and she makes the best ham and cheese omelet I've ever had. But don't tell mom that. I'll introduce you to Candace and Mr. Shields, oh and Darien too. Oh, I forgot! You already met Candace and Darien at the hospital, but that wasn't the best of times. Tomorrow, if they're around, I'll reintroduce you to them," Serena said, pausing to catch her breath.  
  
Amy took this opportunity to speak. "So what do you think about Darien, Serena? Didn't I tell you he was good looking?"  
  
Serena drew a shaky breath. After a moment, she replied quietly, " you know I've stopped with the dating around, Ames. I'm not that kind of person anymore."  
  
Amy sighed dejectedly. "Serena, nobody said that finding someone good looking would automatically label you as 'that kind of person.' It's been years since high school; don't you think you've been punishing yourself enough?"  
  
"Enough Amy. I...I don't want to think about that time anymore. I've turned over a new leaf and...and..."  
  
"That's okay, Serena. You don't have to explain yourself to me. Could you just answer me this one question: have you been seeing your doctor and taking your pills?"  
  
Serena laughed weakly. "That's two questions, Dr. Anderson, and yes I have-to both."  
  
"That's good Serena. I'm just concerned about you, that's all. We all are," said Amy.  
  
"I know you are, and thank you," she whispered. Wanting to get off this depressing topic, Serena cleared her throat. "So what time do you want to come over tomorrow?"  
  
"How about one thirty? I have some doctor stuff to take care of in the morning," Amy replied.  
  
"'Doctor stuff,' eh? Well, la-di-dah," Serena teased, gladly lightening up the conversation. She gave Amy the address and said good-bye to each other.  
  
~*************************************~  
  
Serena woke up abruptly from her sound sleep. Glancing at the clock, she noted that it was two thirty-five in the morning. 'What could have woken me up?' It was then that she heard it: a banging sound coming from the wall behind her bed. The wall separating her room from Darien's.   
  
"Ugh, Darien...don't stop..."   
  
Serena blushed at the strange woman's moans coming from Darien's room. Walking over to the armoire, she turned on the stereo and slipped in a classical music CD. Just as she turned the volume up just a little, she heard Darien and the woman moan loudly before all the sounds from his room stopped. 'I was right. He did have a girlfriend already. Oh well, didn't you just tell Amy this morning that you were through with men anyway? Darien's probably just like _them_ anyways, and you don't want to get mixed up with that scene again.' Still, Serena couldn't help but feel a pang of loneliness in her heart at the thought of Darien with another woman.   
  
In the room next door, Darien lay quietly thinking. He had gone to a new club with his friends that night and met a woman he started dancing with. They shared a few drinks, a lot of provocative kisses and eventually Darien's bed. He watched her sleep, her back facing him and the blanket barely covering her naked body. 'What was her name again?' Through the wall, he thought he heard the soft strains of classical music. 'Oh God. Did Serena hear us? I hope I didn't wake her up. I'll just get rid of this woman tomorrow before anyone wakes up.' But deep down, he felt a pang of guilt for using this mystery woman as a substitute for the one he really wanted.  
  
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TBC. I don't have a lot to say at this point except REVIEW please!! 


	4. Misunderstandings

Hey everyone...I'm a bit sad tonight cuz the Toronto Maple Leafs lost to the Carolina Hurricanes in the playoff games. Sniff...it was a good effort, especially with the goal scored by Mats Sundin in the last 22 seconds of the 3rd period to tie the game. Alas, some punk from the Hurricanes scored in the overtime, ending the game. Boo...  
  
Anyway, thanks for the great reviews-keep them coming! As I said in the previous chapter, Walter will continue to slur and stutter, despite the fact that I have stop writing his dialogue that way.   
  
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Wounded Souls  
  
Chapter 3-Misunderstandings  
  
By: crystal rose  
  
***************************  
  
Once again, Serena woke up very early in the morning. 5:30 in the morning, to be exact. She groaned, glancing out the window and noting that the sun was just rising in the sky. 'I hope to God I get adjusted to the time difference soon.' Shrugging off the covers, she made her way to the armoire where the classical music CD had been playing on repeat throughout the night and turned off the stereo.   
  
'Why was this on again? Oh yeah, to drown out the sound of Darien and his girlfriend fucking each other next door.' Serena smiled, surprised at herself for using such language, even if only in her thoughts. 'If I didn't know any better, I'd say you were jealous, Serena.'   
  
Walking over to her closet, she changed into a pair of track pants and a loose sweater. 'What could I possibly be jealous about? The fact that Darien's getting it on with someone while you're stuck living with your self-imposed celibacy vows?' Grabbing a hairbrush, she furiously pulled her hair into a messy bun. 'Or could it be that you're jealous of the woman Darien was with because she was with him and you weren't?'  
  
She shook her head, trying to clear out those traitorous thoughts. 'Admit it girl, you want him, and it scares you after shutting yourself off from men for so long.' Serena frowned as she laced up her running shoes. She slid open the night table drawer and pulled out a small bottle of pills. Popping one out, she went to her washroom and filled a glass with some tap water. After swallowing the pill, she gazed at herself in the mirror thoughtfully and exited the room.   
  
Serena quietly tiptoed through the hallway of the quiet house, lest she wake up Darien and suffer through an impromptu, if not awkward, introduction with his extremely...vociferous lover. Already she could hear the staff bustling around in their wing, getting ready for the fast approaching workday. She quickly slipped out of the corridor and half walked, half ran until she found herself outside. After doing some warm-up stretches on the stone steps that led the way from the enormous limestone terrace behind the mansion to the back of the Shields estate, Serena began to jog slowly towards the English garden.  
  
Although the scenery around her was beautiful, Serena's thoughts just kept going back to the same person. 'I don't have any feelings for Darien. How could I? I just met him two days ago! Whatever it is that I'm feeling, I'm sure it's nothing.' She inhaled the sweet aroma of roses permeating the air around her and willed herself not to think of her dark-haired neighbour any further.   
  
Serena was successful at blocking Darien out of her thoughts for a few minutes-that is until she ran past the Olympic-sized outdoor pool. She remembered their first meeting by the indoor pool and shivered. The beads of water running off his chiseled abs flashed through her mind, causing her to almost stumble.   
  
"STOP IT!" she practically screamed at herself. Around her, birds flew away from their nests and squirrels took cover at the sudden noise. Glancing around sheepishly at the animals that regarded her with caution from within their burrows, she uttered a small "sorry about that," before resuming her run. 'See what happens when you think about him, Serena? He's not worth going through that pain again.'  
  
She nodded, intent on following her brain's advice. As she passed the stables, however, and heard the horses whinnying inside, she couldn't help but be reminded of _him_ again. 'Holy crap, Serena. How do you expect to live in _his_ house, in _his_ wing, next to _his_ bedroom, and keep your promise to yourself? After knowing him for less than forty-eight hours, you're ready to fall off the celibacy wagon after staying on for TEN YEARS! Don't let a pretty face like Darien mess up your life the way _they_ did. Remember, the Serena you were ten years ago is long dead and buried. This is your chance to make a fresh start, and so far, you've been doing great. He's just a temptation, but you're stronger than that.'  
  
Glancing at her wristwatch and seeing that she'd been running for the past half hour, Serena decided to head back to the house, although in a different direction in order to avoid the stables and pool. Making a giant loop around the property, Serena found herself at the front of the house instead of the back where she had started from. As Serena got closer, she noticed a yellow cab pulling into the driveway and two people standing up on the steps where they had been sitting. She realized it was Darien and a blonde haired woman walking towards the cab. She paused and jogged in place behind a tree, not wanting to intrude on their good-bye scene. As she predicted, Darien and the woman exchanged a few soft words and then the woman stood on her tiptoes to kiss Darien softly on the cheek. Her heart ached when she saw Darien smile at her tenderly before shutting the passenger door. When the cab was almost down the long driveway, Serena schooled her features into a look of calm. 'Alright girl, it's time to show him and yourself that you're not the slightest bit interested.'  
  
Darien was just about to start his own jog when he heard crunching footsteps on the path to his right. He turned and saw Serena jogging his way, her face flushed from her run. 'Shit, I hope she didn't see Natalie...Natasha...whatever her name was.'   
  
Serena forced her mouth into a teasing grin. "So I take it that's the woman who's managed to capture Master Shields' heart?" Why did it hurt to say that?  
  
Darien groaned to himself. 'Busted. You shouldn't have had all those drinks last night, my man.' He shook his head at Serena, whose smile was bright enough to light up a dark room. "I don't kiss and tell, Serena."  
  
His words inexplicably wounded her heart. "Oh come on, Darien. We're wing neighbours! I know you got in late last night Darien, because I fell asleep around midnight and I never heard you get in. So what's her name?" Serena cajoled. 'Why do you care? Are you insane? Scoping out the competition, perhaps?'  
  
"Whose name?" Darien asked, playing dumb and hoping to buy some time until he could come up with an explanation.  
  
"You know who I'm talking about. The leggy blonde that gave you that lipstick mark on your cheek." Inside, Serena was beating herself up for her perverse sense of curiosity.   
  
Darien flushed with embarrassment as he furiously tried to wipe off his face. "Seriously, Serena. Just drop it. I'm not going to tell you her name."  
  
"Oh come on. We live in the same house. I'm bound to find out your girlfriend's name eventually," Serena persisted. 'Why am I doing this to myself?'  
  
"Well if you do, could you tell me 'cause I really don't remember," snapped Darien. As soon as the words came out of his mouth, he wanted to pull them back in. He watched Serena's eyes widen in understanding, her mouth open in a silent gasp.  
  
"Oh my god Darien, I'm really sorry for prying into your business like that. It's just that...I thought she was your....and I wanted to..." Serena faltered, suddenly finding the ground fascinating. Somehow the thought of Darien having a one-night stand with a girl he didn't even know hurt her more than the thought of her being his girlfriend. 'Don't be a hypocrite, Serena. He's done nothing that you haven't done.'  
  
"No I'm the one who should be sorry, Serena. I shouldn't have snapped at you like that. It's just that I'm suffering from a wicked hangover and...could we just forget this ever happened?" he pleaded, hoping to dispel the awkward silence that had settled between them.  
  
Serena glanced up and made the mistake of looking into his eyes. They were begging her for understanding, forgiveness and...redemption? "Of course Darien, but you really must know, your private life is your own and I really had no intention of butting in like that. Forgive me?"  
  
"There's nothing to forgive. Did you just come back from your run or were you just getting started, 'cause I was hoping you'd join me on mine."  
  
Serena smiled wryly, thinking about the run she just completed. 'But you did join me on my run, Darien.' Instead she replied, "I just finished, thank-you very much, and there's no way I'm going to do it again."  
  
Darien pouted playfully, earning him a lighthearted punch on the shoulder. "Fine, be that way. What're you going to do now?"  
  
"I'm going to jump in a hot shower and wash off all this yucky sweat. Then I'm going to go downstairs and maybe have a chat with Lita," she said as she ran up the steps. "You'd better get going, Darien. By the time you get back, I might have finished off breakfast without you."  
  
"Why do I find that _not_ hard to believe?" he teased. Serena blew him a raspberry and shut the door.   
  
~*****************************~  
  
Upstairs in the shower, Serena was vigorously scrubbing herself with the loofah as she fought memories that she had been trying hard to suppress for the past ten years.   
  
'Look, there's Serena, the school slut,' a voice in her head taunted. She could almost see Amanda Webster, the girl whose voice it belonged to, mocking her. 'She's had every guy in the school, including the teachers.'  
  
Serena felt tears falling down her face. "That's not true! I've changed; I'm not that girl anymore!" she whimpered. She reached out and turned the faucet, making the water even hotter.   
  
'Have I taught you nothing about respecting yourself and your body, Serena?' her mother's voice cried. 'Where did I go wrong?'  
  
"I'm sorry momma. It's all my fault." Serena sank to her knees and cried, letting the water pound unmercifully on her back.  
  
'Hey baby. You know I love you, so why don't you let me show you how much?' she heard James King, her first boyfriend, ask.   
  
Serena hugged herself in an effort to protect herself from her memories. She let the water wash over her as she rocked back and forth. "I'm not that girl anymore. I'm not that girl anymore. I'm not that girl anymore," she chanted to herself over and over until her felt herself gaining control once more. Slowly, she stood up and turned the faucet off. She got dressed in the spacious washroom after slathering on heaps of lotion on her reddish skin.   
  
Serena opened the door to her room and was surprised to hear the phone ringing. She rushed to answer it, vaulting over the bed and grabbing the receiver before the ring was finished. "Hello?" she said breathlessly.  
  
"Hey Serena, it's me," Darien's deep voice came over the line. "It's almost time for breakfast. Do you want to go down together?"  
  
"Yeah sure. Swing on over," she replied and hung up the phone. She glanced at the clock and found that she had been in the shower for a little longer than an hour.   
  
When Darien arrived showered and changed, he asked, "what took you so long to answer?"  
  
"I just came from the shower."  
  
"You were in there for that long?" he said. "I got back from my run half an hour from when I last saw you. After I showered and changed, I went to your door but I heard the shower running, so I left. What were you doing in the shower for so long?"  
  
"Um...I like to meditate while I shower. Kills two birds with one stone, I guess," Serena replied lamely. 'Please believe me, please believe me.'  
  
Apparently, Darien heard her fervent prayers, for he chuckled. "I guess that's one way of looking at it. Either that, or you're really dirty!" he laughed, not noticing Serena flinch.  
  
"Um, yeah...say, why don't we hurry up? I'm starving!" she exclaimed, quickening her steps in an effort to leave Darien's questions behind. They raced to the breakfast room in record time, and found that Walter and Candace were already there, eating their Belgian waffles and fruit quietly.  
  
"Good morning Candace! Good morning Mr. Shields! How are you this morning?" Serena chirped, her previous conversation with Darien forgotten for the time being.  
  
"Well good morning you two. Have a seat. Lita made her specialty today, and she's anxious to know what you think, Serena," Candace said.  
  
"No I'm not!" a muffled voice was heard through the kitchen door. The table occupants laughed, even Walter. Serena took the platter offered to her by Candace and picked out a nice, fluffy waffle. Everyone watched her with bated breath as she doused her meal with maple syrup. She lifted her fork to her mouth and chewed thoughtfully. Darien, Candace and Walter leaned in closer and Serena could almost see them asking 'well?' with their eyes. Serena swallowed and smiled, then in a voice loud enough for Lita's benefit in the kitchen, she proclaimed, "these are the best waffles I've ever had! Is there nothing Lita can't make?"  
  
The others let out the breaths they hadn't realized they'd been holding while merry singing could be heard emanating from the kitchen. Breakfast resumed quietly until Walter looked at Serena contemplatively. Serena, finally growing wary of his gaze, set down her fork and stared back. "Is there something on my face or hanging out of my nose, Mr. Shields?"  
  
Darien hid a grin behind his slice of toast and Candace covered a laugh by coughing. Walter frowned and pointed his fork at her. "Tell me about yourself, girlie. If you're going to be my taskmaster for a while, I'd appreciate knowing something about you." (Still slurring : )  
  
Serena took a small sip of orange juice before answering. "Well, what would you like to know, sir?"  
  
Walter waved his hand in the air dismissively. "Anything, anything girlie."  
  
"Well, about 27 years ago, on a beautiful June day, two anxious people who go by the names Ilene and Kenneth Mathis, welcomed a _beautiful_ baby girl into the world. They decided to name her Serena, because she didn't cry as the doctor wrenched her from the safety of her mother's womb. She was a happy child, a kind child, the apple of her parents' eyes-"  
  
"Could you cut the sweeping saga short, girlie? I don't have all day," Walter said gruffly, fighting to keep the smile off his face.  
  
"Well, you kind of set yourself up for that dad," Darien pointed out. He was thrilled with the easy manner that Serena handled his grouchy father. "And by the way dad, her name's Serena, not girlie."  
  
Walter 'harrumphed' and turned to Candace. "Do you see the way this generation has become? In my day, children didn't talk this way to their elders. Impertinence, that's what we taught these kids by giving them their 'independence' and letting them 'think for themselves.' I blame it on the sixties when all those hippies were running around preaching their 'peace, love and harmony' nonsense."  
  
"Shush now, my love. Let Serena tell us about herself," Candace soothed her husband while flashing her son a look of annoyance. Darien shrugged unapologetically and ran his hand through his hair, causing some strands to fall in his eyes. Serena watched in fascination and ached to brush them away. "Go ahead, dear. We're listening."  
  
"Well, I was born and raised in Toronto. As I said before, my parents' names are Kenneth and Ilene, and I have a younger brother named Sammy, long form for Sam. I don't know, I guess Sammy just suited him better than Sam. I mean, the name Sam is okay, but it's just _Sam_. It needs a suffix to finish it off at the end like -my or -muel. That's why I decided to call him Sammy when I was four and he was two. It sounds better, don't you think? If you could see Sammy right now, you'd see that he's _definitely_ a Sammy, not a Sam. I think people have to be suited to their names, don't you, Mr. Shields? I don't think I could see you as a Jason or a Mark. No, those are too young for you. Not that you're old or anything, Mr. Shields, but you have to admit, you're not exactly in touch with today's youth. You're definitely a Walter, Mr. Shields, definitely a Walter," Serena said, nodding her head once as if she were a queen declaring an edict to her people.   
  
"If people are supposed to be suited to their names, then why is your name Serena, because you're definitely _not_ serene," countered Walter.   
  
Serena flushed slightly. "Well, you see, when I was born, I cried so much that my parents decided to name me Serenity, because they wouldn't have much of it any more now that I was born."  
  
Darien smiled softly. 'Serenity. That's the perfect name for her because she gives everyone serenity when she's around.' "So why do you go by Serena?"  
  
Serena wrinkled her nose at Darien. "Are you kidding? What kind of name is Serenity? That's a state of being, not a name. It sounds so uppity. 'Serenity dah-ling, would you like a cup of the finest tea? Lady Serenity, that is a simply mah-velous gown, simply mah-velous.'" she quipped in a semi-authentic British accent while waving her hands in the air. "Besides, Sammy was having a hard time with it when he was just learning how to talk, so he decided to call me Sewena."  
  
Walter sighed wearily. It was clear that he would never get anything out of this girl because she tended to get distracted as she talked. "Listen here, girlie. Why don't I ask you questions, and you just answer. And for god's sakes, keep them short and to the point."  
  
Serena saluted gamely. "Yes sir!"  
  
Walter let that one pass. "When were you born?"  
  
"June 30th, 1975, according to the Gregorian calendar. That would make me...a whopping 26 years, 10 months and 12 days old!" she replied cheekily.  
  
Growling in impatience, Walter continued with his interrogation. "Where did you live?"  
  
"Well, when I was growing up, I lived in Scarborough, which was one of six municipalities that made up the great city of Toronto, but now all the municipalities have been amalgamated into one that some have nicknamed the Mega City. Then, when I started attending Queen's, I moved to Kingston, Ontario. When I graduated, I moved to downtown Toronto, where I shared an apartment with my friend until she got married, and then I moved to a loft of my own."  
  
"I guess that takes care of where you went to school...where did you work?"  
  
"Well, my first job was at the local Zellers, Canada's equivalent to Walmart-although not as big, as a cashier. From there, I worked a series of jobs including library helper, part-time receptionist and hospital volunteer. After I graduated, I worked in Sunnybrook Hospital as the physical trainer. And now, I work for you."  
  
"Have you had any prior criminal convictions?"  
  
Serena raised her eyebrow in amusement. "Well no, but I did get into this _little_ snafu when I was twelve with my best friends on Halloween night when we decided to throw eggs at a parked van. We didn't know that our neighbour had been sleeping in there after getting into a fight with his wife two days before. Apparently, the eggs shattering on his windshield woke him up and he caught us and turned us in to our parents. My friends and I had to wash and clean his van inside and out every Saturday for a whole month as punishment."  
  
Beside her, Darien was trying hard to contain his laughter. He could just picture a twelve-year old Serena vandalizing someone's van, only to find its owner sleeping inside. Despite his annoyance at his father for prying into Serena's life, he couldn't resist wanting to hear more about her.  
  
"Are you involved with anyone at the moment?" To their surprise, Serena stiffened and looked down at her plate hastily.   
  
"Walter!" Candace exclaimed at the same time Darien exploded, "DAD!"  
  
Serena looked up and smiled wanly. "No, it's okay, really. I'm not involved with anyone; I haven't been for a long time."  
  
That was it; no long-winded speech, no funny anecdotes, no witty replies, leaving Walter and Candace wondering what it was she wasn't telling. Walter frowned in concern. "I hope you're not like my degenerate son over here who goes through more women in one week than he goes through the newspaper in one day."  
  
'I'm more like him than you can imagine, Mr. Shields.'  
  
"Dad, that's enough! Serena's and my private life are none of your business, so please stop bugging us. You've filled your snooping quota for the day, so back off," Darien snarled. Sparks shot between father and son as the two women watched on uneasily. The atmosphere in the room had grown decidedly chilly and Serena felt like she would suffocate.   
  
"Um...Serena dear, what do you have planned for Walter and yourself to do today?" Candace asked tentatively in an obvious attempt to change the topic.  
  
Serena grabbed this opportunity to shift the focus off of herself and onto another. "Well, I thought that we'd take it easy today considering all the exercise we did yesterday, but I want to pick up a few supplies in town first."  
  
"Exercise? All we did was walk around the house," Walter said.  
  
"And isn't walking a form of exercise? We must have covered more distance walking around your house and estate than it would take for me to walk from my apartment on Queen and Yonge to the CN Tower," Serena replied. The others, who had no idea what she was talking about, just looked at each other in confusion.   
  
"Oh, well let Darien take you to buy whatever you need until I can call up my credit card company and have them set you up with a business expense account," suggested Candace.  
  
Serena blushed. "You really don't have to get me an expense account, Candace. I'm happy to pay for them myself. What I have in mind isn't really expensive..."  
  
"Nonsense dear. Trust me, you'll thank me for it if you're going to need more supplies for my husband who wants 'nothing but the best.' Darien, as soon as Serena's ready, please take her to get whatever she needs," Candace insisted.  
  
Darien was only too happy to comply. 'A chance to be alone with Serena. Who could ask for more?'  
  
"Oh, by the way Candace, I hope you don't mind but I invited one of my best friends over this afternoon. You remember me telling you about Amy, right? She's the one who treated Mr. Shields when he was in the hospital," Serena reminded. "We're just going to hang out in my room and catch up."  
  
"Not a problem, Serena dear, although I don't see why you'd want to lock up your guest in your room. Please don't feel like you can't have your friends over. Besides, I want to thank the wonderful doctor who saved my husband's life," Candace said.  
  
Serena smiled. "Thanks Candace, that really means a lot to me."  
  
~*************************************~  
  
Serena and Darien were finally on their way to the arts supplies store closest to the Shields mansion, a good twenty minutes away. Serena just leaned back against the black leather seats of Darien's sleek silver Mercedes convertible and let her eyes take in the view. Once in a while, she would find her gaze wandering to Darien, who was resting his left arm on the door while his right hand gripped the steering wheel firmly, the muscles in his forearms tensing every so often. (~sigh~)   
  
Darien, in turn, would peek at Serena from the corners of his eyes when she wasn't looking. He memorized her every feature; from the way her graceful neck craned every time she saw something amusing-like the elderly man holding hands with a woman seemingly a few years younger than Serena, or the teenager sporting a matching hairdo and hair colour with the formerly golden retriever he was walking-down to the way she looked so perfect sitting in the passenger seat next to him. He sighed in contentment. 'I could get used to this.'  
  
"So Serena, what're we getting?" he asked, taking the opportunity the red light gave him to stare at her long legs stretched out in front of her.  
  
"Oh, I'm just getting some canvasses, paint, brushes, you know, stuff like that. It's just to help your father with his eye-hand coordination, manual dexterity and also help his brain rewire its pathways," she responded. Suddenly, her cell phone rang from within her purse. "Excuse me, Darien."  
  
She rummaged through her purse until she found her ringing phone. Serena was able to tell it was Raye calling from Toronto by glancing at the view screen. "Raye?" she said excitedly.  
  
'Ray? I thought she said she didn't have a boyfriend?' Darien thought jealously. He listened closely to the following conversation and somehow managed to pay attention to the road as well.  
  
"Serena? How are you?" Raye asked, her excitement equaling Serena's.  
  
"I'm fine Raye. How's everything back home?" said Serena, oblivious to Darien's frown at her question. 'Does she mean their home together, or _his_ own home?'  
  
"If you mean, how're Justin and little Kayla, they're fine. If you mean how's Toronto in general, you should know that the Leafs lost the series to the 'Canes," Raye replied, bracing herself for Serena's reaction.  
  
"NO! Damn, we were so close! I KNEW I shouldn't have left!"  
  
Surprised by her outburst, Darien jerked his hand and swerved on the other side of the road, narrowly missing an oncoming van. The van's driver blared its horns and he shook his fist at Darien, yelling a few choice words, all of which Serena was oblivious to as she muttered a few choice words of her own. 'I wonder what could have set her off? Maybe Ray did something stupid?'  
  
"It was a butt-clencher, Sere. Justin kept yelling at the TV until I threatened to kick him out of the house cause he kept waking up the baby. Chill out, girl. There's always next season," Raye soothed, cradling the phone on her shoulder and shifting Kayla to her left breast to finish her meal.  
  
"I guess," Serena said glumly. "But it's been so long, eh?" (AN: referring to the number of years it's been since the Leafs won the Stanley Cup. Raye and Serena know that, you and I know that, but Darien doesn't know that.)  
  
Darien raised an eyebrow. 'What's been so long?'  
  
"Anyway, how's LA? Have you seen any celebrities yet?" Raye teased.  
  
Serena laughed. "No, Raye. I haven't-yet. Besides, you're the only celebrity in my life."  
  
Darien puzzled over this latest statement. 'Celebrity? Is she talking to Ray Romano or something?'  
  
"Yeah, the typical drama queen, or so my rascal of a husband says," Raye said. "So have you met with Ames, yet?"  
  
"Not yet, but she's coming by this afternoon so we could catch up on old times," Serena replied, smiling at Darien who stepped on the brakes in order to let a little girl cross the street.  
  
"Aw, that's not fair. I wish I was with you! Then we could all catch up," whined Raye.  
  
"Geez Raye, stop whining. I've seen you every day ever since we've lived together. Besides, you have responsibilities back there."  
  
'Yeah, Ray,' mocked Darien. 'Stop whining. She's seen you every day since-wait a minute. They live together?!'  
  
"I guess. I could leave Justin behind but I could never leave little Kayla. Right, princess? Who's mommy's little girl?" Raye cooed to her baby.  
  
Serena smiled. "Awww, you're so sweet Raye."  
  
"I know, I know. Don't you just want to be me? Anyway Serena, did you go see Dr. Eisner yet?"  
  
"Yes _Raye_, I did. Two days ago," Serena said, frowning.  
  
Darien allowed himself a half smirk when he heard Serena's tone of voice change. 'Awww, trouble in paradise. How sad.'   
  
"That's good, Serena. Are you also taking your meds?"   
  
"Yes _mom_," she replied through gritted teeth. She didn't notice Darien smiling his head off beside her. 'Keep it up Ray, you're doing great.'  
  
"You know we're just concerned about you. Amy, your family, and I-we all love you and we're worried about you."  
  
Serena's face softened. "I know you love me. I love you too, believe me. But I can take care of myself."   
  
Darien's smile vanished and his heart just about broke. 'She loves him?'  
  
"So...what does this Darien Shields look like? Amy told me he was really hot. Is he everything she said he was?" Raye asked, as she burped Kayla.  
  
"That's a table for two Raye," Serena said abruptly. A table for two had been their childhood code for when they couldn't discuss something over the phone because someone else was in the room.   
  
'Table for two? Is she talking about going on a date with him?'  
  
"Ohhh. I see...he's right there, isn't he? Well I take it this means he's hotter than hot," Raye taunted.  
  
"Raye...you know that I don't-"  
  
"Yes, yes, I know Serena. 'You don't go out with men anymore' but I really think you should give this a second thought. What happened in the past is over. You shouldn't blame yourself for what happened that night. Please try to move on, Serena," she pleaded softly. Kayla started crying in her arms. "I've got to go, Serena. I think Kayla needs a new diaper. Love ya."  
  
"Love ya too, Raye. Call me again soon. Bye," she said, disconnecting the phone.  
  
Darien turned away as he forced himself to look nonchalant. 'Alright Darien. It's time to look and act like you don't give a crap what she just talked about.'  
  
Like Serena had done just that morning, Darien forced himself to smile teasingly. "So...is this Ray the man who has managed to capture the heart of Lady Serenity?"   
  
Serena looked at him for a full minute in silence before bursting into laughter. Darien could hear her trying to say something to him but was laughing too hard to get it out coherently. "Raye...hahahaha...you think....oh my aching stomach....boyfriend!" She went on like this until Darien pulled into a parking space outside the arts supply store.   
  
"What's so funny, Serena?" he asked gruffly. Serena took a few breaths and wiped the tears that had fallen down her face.  
  
"Raye's a GIRL dumb ass! Her name is short for Rachel!" she collapsed into giggles again.   
  
"But...but I heard you get mad at him-err, her-and then you told her you loved her..." stammered Darien.  
  
"I got mad because the Toronto Maple Leafs lost the playoff game to the Carolina Hurricanes. And _of course_ I love Raye! She and Amy are my two best friends. We've been through thick and thin together," she said.  
  
The glimmer of hope that had faded during Serena's short conversation with Raye now lit up again, this time, blazing strong. "Oh sorry, it's just that from my perspective, it sounded like you two were...you know."  
  
Serena smiled and got out of the car. "Well, that's what you get for eavesdropping." She stuck the tips of her thumbs on her temples, waved her fingers, giving her an 'antlered' look and blew him a raspberry. She got strange looks-which she pointedly ignored-from passersby who gave Darien even stranger looks.   
  
"Oh yeah?" Darien said, advancing towards her menacingly. Serena stopped her taunting and stared at him wide eyed. She shrieked as he chased her for a good ten minutes around the parking lot, threatening to tickle her if she didn't proclaim him the "smartest and most handsome man in the universe."  
  
~**************************************~  
  
It was almost one thirty and Serena was anxiously awaiting Amy's arrival in the driveway with Darien for company. She and Walter had already finished their session for the day, painting pictures on the canvasses she had purchased with Darien's card. Walter displayed a talent for manipulating the brush, even with his condition, and applying the paint on the canvas. It was Serena's firm belief that Walter could go far with his art, if he had the proper teacher and she told him so.  
  
"You're just saying that girlie," he had told her, stepping back from the canvass to admire his handiwork like a seasoned professional. "I'm too old to be learning some newfangled skill anyway." But Serena could see that Walter stood taller and his eyes twinkled at her compliment.  
  
Serena glanced at her watch and hopped on each foot alternatively. She reminded Darien of a little kid waiting for Christmas morning. "Relax Serena. She'll be here any minute."  
  
Serena turned to Darien, her eyes bright and smile wide. "I know, Darien. I'm just really excited to see her. It's been two years since I last saw her." As she was saying this, a blue Lincoln Navigator pulled into the driveway. Serena started jumping up and down in earnest and practically pounced on the figure emerging from the SUV. "AMY!"  
  
Amy's eyes widened in shock as a blonde blur leapt into her arms, almost knocking her off her feet. "Oof...Serena, it's really great to see you too but I can't breathe!" Serena smiled sheepishly as she pulled Amy towards Darien who had been laughing at their exchange. "Oh stop laughing at me, Darien. This is Amy Anderson, one of my best friends in the world. Amy, this is Darien Shields."  
  
They shook hands and smiled at each other. "We've met before, Sere. How's your father, Mr. Shields?"  
  
"Please, call me Darien. He's fine now, thanks to you."  
  
"Oh Ames, how's Zachary?" Serena asked in a singsong voice as the trio walked into the house.  
  
Amy blushed and held up her left hand. "He proposed two nights ago. We were thinking of a September wedding and you and Raye could be bridesmaids-" she could get no further for Serena once again launched herself into her friend's arms and squealed with delight.  
  
"OH MY GOD! That's great, Amy. I'm so happy for you...and for me! You _know_ Raye cheated us out of being bridesmaids by eloping with Justin. I'm going to be a bridesmaid, I'm going to be a bridesmaid, I'm going to be a bridesmaid!" she sang, causing Darien and Amy to cover their ears.  
  
They went outside on the limestone terrace where Candace and Walter were lounging on one of the comfortable recliners, where Serena introduced them to Amy.  
  
"Thank you dear, for saving my husband's life. You'll never know what that means to me," said Candace, getting teary-eyed as she shook Amy's hand.   
  
Walter grasped her hand and shook it firmly. "Yes, thank you Dr. Anderson, for recommending 'girlie' over here. She drives me crazy with her constant chatter, but she knows her stuff."  
  
Serena blushed and wrapped her arms around Walter's broad shoulders. "Awww. I _knew_ you liked me! Thanks Mr. Shields."  
  
"Don't mention it, girlie. Please...don't mention it," he replied, his cheeks turning pink, as his wife and son laughed.   
  
"You're just a big, gruff teddy bear, eh Mr. Shields?" Serena teased, her eyes twinkling in mischief.  
  
Amy smiled. "It's been so long since I've heard anyone but me say 'eh.' All my co-workers tease me every time I say it. They say I'm 'so Canadian.'"  
  
Serena draped an arm over her friend's shoulder and led her to the table. "Well, now you've got another Canuck with you Ames."  
  
"Hey Amy, would you like some orange juice?" Darien asked politely as they all sat at the table. He noticed Serena and Amy look at each other and hide smiles of amusement. "What did I say?"  
  
"Nothing," they replied simultaneously.   
  
Darien's eyes narrowed suspiciously. "Tell me."  
  
Serena smiled. "It's just the way you say 'orange.'"  
  
"What's wrong with the way I say it?"   
  
"You say 'ah-range' like I hear so many Americans say it," she explained. (AN: no offense to Americans. I'm just pointing out the difference in pronunciation between our two countries)  
  
Darien wrinkled his brow. "So how do _you_ say it?"  
  
"O-range. There's no a-h in orange. It's spelt o-r-a-n-g-e," Serena said smugly.  
  
Walter, who had been sitting quietly murmuring to himself, said, "girlie's right; we do say 'ah-range' instead of the way it's spelt."  
  
Darien threw an injured glance at his father. "DAD! You're supposed to take _my_ side, not girlie's!"  
  
"Hey! Only your father can call me that, not you!"   
  
Candace smiled. Before Serena came, she had never seen Darien and Walter act so...playful. It was a refreshing change to see her business-oriented men take a breather.   
  
"Yeah? Well-you guys say 'aboot' instead of 'about!'" Darien accused.  
  
"We DO NOT say aboot!" challenged Serena. "We say about, don't we Ames?"  
  
And so, the debate continued until Candace called a truce between the two warring groups. Serena and Darien toured Amy through the Shields estate before they came back to the mansion for dinner. When it was time for Amy to leave, Serena walked her to her vehicle, silently reliving their wonderful afternoon.  
  
"Serena? Please promise that you'll always stay this happy, okay? I haven't seen you like this in a long time, and I have a sneaking suspicion that Darien has a little something to do with it," Amy said.  
  
"Amy, I can't make any promises. I've made an appointment to see Dr. Eisner next week and I've been taking my meds religiously. I still have the attacks, but it's not as frequent and I've learned how to control them better. I'm trying to rebuild my life but please know that it's going to take some time," Serena said softly.  
  
Amy hugged her friend. "Just know that I'll always be here for you, Serena."  
  
"I know, Ames. I couldn't have made it to where I am today without you, Raye, Sammy and mom," she replied, hugging Amy back. They bid each other good-bye and promised to see each other soon. Before Amy got in, she glanced at Serena.  
  
"Hey Sere. Do you want to go with me and Zachary to the hospital fundraiser ball?" Amy could see the inner struggle Serena was going through. "Come on Sere, it's a fundraiser."  
  
"Alright. When is it?"  
  
"It's a month from today. I'll call you with more details, okay?"  
  
"Okay. Bye Ames. It was great seeing you again."  
  
"Bye Sere. Remember what I said."  
  
"I will. Take care."  
  
***********************************************************************  
  
May 29, 2002  
  
Again, no offense to ANYONE who happens to say ah-range or aboot. It was just my bad attempt at witty banter, that's all. REVIEW PLEASE! 


	5. Soliloquies and Secrets

Thanks to everyone who read the last chapter and are back for this one. I just want to say that I didn't mean to offend some Americans out there who found that I generalized them. If you didn't notice, I took some pot shots at Canadians too so it's not as if I singled out the Americans. I just wanted to point out the misconceptions _both_ countries have about the other; I wasn't looking to stereotype, generalize or piss any one off.   
  
Walter still stutters for those of you who don't remember the note I put in a few chapters ago. For the readers who want to know why Serena is taking pills and seeing a therapist: be patient, she's got issues to deal with. It's going to be revealed little by little as the story unfolds so keep reading! If I reveal everything right at the beginning, there won't be a story to read. Bad for you, bad for me cuz I love to get feedback so keep them coming!  
  
By the way, I was on getlyrics.com looking for the lyrics to SWV's Weak, when I noticed the lyrics for a song they did with TLC called Oh Starry Night. I checked out the lyrics and sure enough, it was the same song that Raye sang on an SM episode. I couldn't believe it, so I tried to look for it on KaZaa but all I could find was the SM version, not the SWV version (if there is one). If anyone knows the truth behind this, please tell me!!   
  
************************************************************************  
  
Wounded Souls  
  
Chapter four-Soliloquies and Secrets  
  
By: crystal rose  
  
~***************************************~  
  
(3 weeks later)  
  
Darien Shields waited patiently for Serena to arrive at the cozy Italian restaurant that they had agreed to meet for lunch to discuss his father's progress. Of course, that wasn't the only reason he wanted to talk to her here at the restaurant instead of at home and if he wasn't so busy trying to deny it, he would realize that having lunch with Serena in public was his way staking claim on her before anyone else does. He was declaring to the world that he was out to win Serena Mathis' heart and Lord help the fool who dared step in his way.   
  
Seeing that he had arrived fifteen minutes early before their scheduled appointment, Darien took those precious minutes of solitude to compose himself. Glancing around to make sure no one was looking, he picked up the soupspoon and checked his rather distorted reflection, making sure that everything was perfect and that the little strand of hair fell just at the right angle over his eyes in the sexy manner he knew women liked. Catching what he was doing, Darien chuckled. 'What the hell are you doing, Shields? Primping for the lovely Serena?'  
  
Setting the spoon down, Darien glanced at his watch, tapping his foot impatiently on the floor. He ran his hand through his ebony hair, disturbing the recently styled locks. 'Gagggh! You messed up the hair!' Quickly, he brushed his hair back to place with the aid of his spoon mirror and looked around the restaurant once more, only to find that she hasn't arrived yet.   
  
'Would you stop that? You'd think you were some horny teenager on a first date. No, you are Darien Shields, bachelor and heart breaker. You leave a string of swooning women and broken hearts in your wake. You don't need Serena Mathis in your life; there are plenty of women falling over themselves to take her place. I mean, in the past two weeks alone, you've slept with three different women numerous times, in various places and had a marvelous time forgetting about her with them. If Serena hasn't realized what a great catch you are by now, then that's her tough luck cuz we don't need her.' Darien frowned to himself and nodded his head firmly, oblivious to the raised eyebrow one waiter gave him as he was passing by.  
  
'Oh yeah? If you don't need her, why were all the women you slept with blonde and relatively Serena's body type?' Darien paused, searching for an answer. 'Coincidence, that's all. I can't help it if those blondes threw themselves at me these past couple of weeks.' Convinced that he was right, he settled back into his seat some more. Pulling out a file that he had brought with him from work, he opened it and began reviewing the figures in front of him. The letters and symbols swam around as if they had a mind of their own, until he saw that they had rearranged themselves to form 'Se(r)en@ S#ieLd$,' 'b&AÜtiful,' 'mINe,' and '£ove.' Darien's eyes widened in disbelief. He shut the file closed with a snap and shoved it back into his briefcase. He saw a waiter passing by and signaled for a refill of his glass of red wine.   
  
'Get a grip, Shields! You're going crazy!" He looked out the window and saw a petite blonde woman with her back towards him, kissing another man. Darien stood up, outraged. Here he was, waiting for Serena patiently, wondering what's taking her, when all along she'd been making out with a Charles Manson look-alike outside the very restaurant where they were supposed to have lunch together! Just as Darien had thrown his napkin on the table in disgust and was preparing to go outside to give his 'competition' a piece of his mind, the couple turned and Darien noted that 'Serena' was in fact an elderly woman whose white hair he had mistaken for blonde.   
  
He sat back down sheepishly as the other restaurant patrons stared at him in amusement. He began to talk softly to himself, saying "how could you mistake that withered up old goat for Serena, whose supple skin has the texture of the finest satin? Her hair looks and feels like the purest silk, golden like the sun and scented like freshly ripened strawberries. Serena's eyes are a vibrant blue like the sky and they sparkle like the sea. Don't you see, o unworthy pursuer of gentle Serenity's heart, that she is as fresh as a rose plucked from the gardens of thy father's house, not tired and haggard like that unfortunate bumpkin and her mate outside yonder street? _How dares't_ thou defile Lady Serenity's honour by mistaking her for that common wench, when she is the most beautiful and innocent of creatures that ever roamed upon this happy earth! Fiend! Base dotard! Crawl back to the fiery depths of hell from whence thou came, and forget thou didst ever chanced espy fair Serenity's visage. Alas, thou unfortunate brute, born under unlucky star to have fallen so deeply under temptress Serenity's spell, it is too late to redeem thyself! Thou art in love with the gentle spirit that is Serenity, mistress of thy heart and keeper of thy soul. Fare thee well, thou bravest and foulest of beings sent forth by thy evil master, thy battle has just begun..." Darien slammed his palm dramatically on the table, startling the other diners, his eyes glassy and his breathing shallow. He hadn't noticed his voice getting steadily louder or taking on a British accent, until a worried diner alerted one of the staff.  
  
A concerned waiter stepped forward cautiously towards him. "Sir, are you alright?"  
  
"Huh? Oh yes...sorry...just thinking to myself, that's all," Darien stammered, blinking his eyes rapidly. 'Since when did I start waxing poetic?'  
  
The waiter frowned as if he didn't believe him. "Okay...sure. In the meantime, do you want to order?"  
  
"No thanks, I'm waiting for someone and I'm afraid I got here a little too early."  
  
'Ah...so that's what this is all about. It figures. He's mooning over a woman.' Smiling encouragingly at Darien, he nodded his head and left.   
  
Darien in turn was panicking over his recent soliloquy. 'How could I be in love with the fair Serenity-I mean, Serena? It's only been three weeks, for god's sakes! Loving someone only gets you hurt, Darien. Remember Ann? You gave her your heart, your soul for two years and what did she do? Turn around and leave you for that bitch Beryl. She couldn't even leave you for a man! She had the nerve to fuck Beryl in your bed while you were at work, that whore. So in answer to your question Darien, no, you are _not_ in love with Serena. She's just like Ann. End of story.' Nobody knew the true reason behind his failed romance with Ann, not even his parents. As far as the world was concerned, Darien broke off his two-year relationship with Ann Roberts, leaving her to seek comfort in the arms of her best friend and college roommate Beryl Stone.  
  
As Darien was sitting there reliving his past, emotions playing out clearly on his face, a certain blonde woman was at the front of the restaurant speaking with the maître'd, who promptly showed her to Darien's table. By now, the story of Darien's attempt at Shakespearean dialogue had gone around the entire staff at Luigi's Bistro and Nemo, the maître'd, had been charged with keeping a lookout for the 'temptress Serenity.'   
  
Upon seeing her, Nemo could see why Mr. Shields was so smitten. 'She _is_ a vision. If you were only a few decades younger, and a few chins thinner, you _might_ have a chance. Ah, but Bella would have a few things to say about that and once Bella starts, she doesn't stop and we can't have that, now can we Nemo?' He led the way to the stormy-looking Darien, who had taken to glowering at his watch, willing it to move faster. He didn't notice Serena standing there until she laid a hand on his shoulder, causing him to flail his arm out and knocking over an artificial tree behind him.   
  
Jumping out of his chair, Darien straightened out the fallen tree and began to apologize profusely to Serena, Nemo, the patrons and to the whole world in general. 'It's not my fault she's so damn beautiful.' Assuring him that it was quite all right, Nemo walked toward the kitchen, smiling all the way. 'I think I'll go have my break now. I'm sure the guys would love to hear about this.'  
  
At the table, Darien smiled apologetically at Serena and pulled out the chair for her. He caught a whiff of her hair ('strawberries-I knew it!') as she sat down gracefully. When he had seated, Serena gave him an apologetic look of her own. "I'm really sorry for being late Dare. The traffic's killer."  
  
Darien's heart fluttered. 'Dare. She called me Dare. Oh I dare alright...' He waved his hand with the air of a sultan pardoning an errant slave. "It's fine, Sere. You're not late, I'm too early. I didn't feel like slaving away in the office during such a beautiful day so I decided to head out to lunch early. So, how were things with my dad today?"  
  
Serena laughed heartily, tilting her head and arching her back, causing her breasts to thrust out unknowingly. Darien swallowed the rest of his wine in one gulp and signaled the waiter for another. He had a feeling he was going to need it. "Your father is still the lovable grouch from two weeks ago. He complained throughout our stretching exercises today and then proceeded to shout at every animal that dared get in his way during our walk outside."  
  
Darien grimaced, feeling like a teenager who was just humiliated by his parents in front of his friends. "I'm really sorry about that, Sere. I know he's hard to put up with so I'll speak to him later about his behaviour."   
  
Serena hastily put down the water glass and shook her head. "No, don't do that! He's prickly on the outside, but he's got a marshmallowy-centre. I like him just the way he is."  
  
Darien smiled at her description of his father. 'Who would have thought that Walter Shields III, the man who's been called a bull-headed bear in the world of finance and trade, whom my mother's friend's four-year old granddaughter Lila, ran away from screaming "puppy-kicker!" at the top of her lungs at a recent garden party, has a marshmallowy cream filling?' Somehow the thought amused him and he laughed out loud, causing ripples of pleasure to run down Serena's back.   
  
"I guess you're right, in a way. One day, a few months ago, my family hosted a garden party and invited all our friends and their families. Lila, the sweetest four-year-old little girl in the whole world decided to show my father her new puppy, whom she had brought with her, and all the tricks he can do. What she didn't know was dad is severely allergic to dogs, but when he tried to tell her that, she didn't care because she didn't know what 'being allergic' meant. So what do you think my dad did?"  
  
"What?" Serena asked, a wide grin making its way across her face and her eyes twinkling in merriment.  
  
"Instead of taking the time to explain what allergies were, he tells her that he's a monster who likes to kick puppies around and use them as soccer balls. He didn't stop there; to prove to Lila that he meant business, he grabbed the little puppy, set it on the ground and swung his leg back. Before he could pretend to follow through on the kick, she head butted him, but being only three and a half feet tall..."  
  
"She head butted him in the groin!" screeched Serena, tears of laughter falling from her eyes and attracting the attention of everyone in the restaurant. Darien laughed too, remember how his father fell to the ground in agony, holding back obscenities until Lila was far away before letting loose.  
  
"Everybody saw what happened because after he fell, Lila started yelling 'puppy-kicker!' and pointing at him, like dad was some kind of wanted criminal and she had caught him. Lila's mother had to drag her away from dad before she could do any more damage to him, but we could still hear her yelling at the top of her lungs. Mom chewed him out for that one, and I guess he felt bad himself because he sent that dog every chew toy, dog house accessory and snack that he could find in town. He even threw in a wheelbarrow of doggy stuffed animals and karate lessons for Lila cuz he said, and I quote, 'that little girlie packs a mean punch in that small head of hers; she should channel that power into her arms and learn to use her head for something more useful like learning what the word allergy means.' I couldn't look at him in the eye for days after that without laughing. He sulked for a week until he found out that my new car had been stolen and stripped down to the frame. I guess he thought it was cosmic payback, or something."  
  
Serena was laughing so hard, she didn't notice the waiter had come to take their orders. She waved at him and gasped some words out incoherently until she finally had to resort to pointing at spaghetti and meatballs on the menu and her water glass. Darien and the waiter exchanged smiles as Darien ordered the lasagna. "Puppy-kicker!" she wheezed.  
  
When she was finally able to calm down, Serena and Darien made small talk as they awaited the arrival of their food. They found out facts about each other such as Serena's favourite food which happens to be salmon sashimi ("but I don't like salmon cooked because it looses its flavour."); Darien's most embarrassing moment was when he accidentally stumbled in the crowded men's locker room at his former gym and reached out blindly to catch himself ("how was I supposed to know that guy's crotch would be there? That's the reason I had the gym in the house built in the first place."); Serena's experiences as a cashier ("I had a ton of customers in my line a few days before Christmas and this lady wanted me to do a refund because I accidentally overcharged her twenty cents. I got pissed off and reached into my wallet and gave her back a quarter with my most insincere apologies." [true story...I was the cashier]); and Darien's favourite Disney movie ("The Little Mermaid because not only was Ariel hot but also because I think Prince Eric kinda looks like me."). They continued to chatter about their lives, both not wanting to get too personal, but also wanting to find out more about the other. Darien could feel himself falling more and more for this woman. 'Does she feel the same about me?'  
  
By the time they finished eating, they each felt as if they had been friends since childhood. The spell was broken, however, when Serena glanced at her watch and realized that she had an appointment in about a half hour. Disappointed, Darien walked her to the parking lot where both his cars were parked, seeing as he loaned Serena one of his many convertibles for the duration of her stay.   
  
"Thanks for lunch, Dare. I had a real good time," Serena said awkwardly. Inside, she couldn't help but wonder what to do next. 'Should I hug him, shake his hand, just walk off?'  
  
Darien, too, was fighting his own inner struggle. "Well...see you back at the house, Sere." They both stared at each other for a moment until a car blared its horn at them. Startled out of their reverie, Darien and Serena whipped their heads in annoyance towards the irate driver for ruining the moment. It was then that they realized that they had been standing in the middle of the parking lot, preventing a line cars from getting out to the street. Darien waved his right arm apologetically at the drivers and placed his other hand on the small of Serena's back unconsciously, causing her heart to beat faster in excitement, and ushered her to her car.   
  
Serena unlocked the door and slid herself in, tugging at her knee length skirt-which had ridden up to her thighs-back down in an effort to preserve her modesty but failed to notice that her action caused her button-down blouse to open just enough for Darien to know that she was wearing a pink lace bra. 'Hmm...36C from the looks of it.' Darien averted his eyes just as Serena swiveled her head to look at him, looking at her with an innocent smile upon his lips. Flashing him a smile of her own, she said "well Dare, I gotta go or I'll be late for my appointment."  
  
"See you later, Sere." Darien watched as she backed out of the space and zoomed off down the street. 'Fare thee well, o mistress of my heart and keeper of my soul. I love thee always.'  
  
~*********************************~  
  
"So Serena, how have you been since the last time I saw you?"  
  
Serena smiled at Dr. Eisner, who was giving her a look that only therapists can give. "It's been okay. Mr. Potts has been making steady progress over the past few weeks and he's not quite so grumpy anymore." Early on, Serena had decided to switch the last names of the people she worked for in order for them to retain their privacy.  
  
"Serena...you know I wasn't asking about your work."  
  
"I could never fool you Dr. Eisner. As I said, it's been okay. I haven't been getting the spells as much as I have and I've been taking my pills everyday."  
  
"That's good. I believe you were telling me about your high school days last week. Are you still comfortable with telling me what went on that caused you to repel the affection of men today?" Dr. Eisner asked, flipping through his notes.  
  
Serena took a deep breath. If she was to recover, she had to get this out. "Is it okay if I don't tell you everything right away? I just don't want to dwell too much on it..."  
  
"Of course, Serena. You can start wherever you want. You don't have to tell me anything you don't want to reveal."  
  
"Well...I got my first boyfriend when I was fourteen and he was fifteen. We went out for two months before he told me he loved me. Pretty soon, he kept asking me when we'd have sex until I finally gave in on our six-month anniversary. Everything was going great until he entered me and found out that I wasn't a virgin...do I have to tell you why I wasn't?" she whimpered, tears falling from her eyes. Dr. Eisner handed her the box of tissues and shook his head silently. Serena composed herself after drying her tears and cleared her throat.  
  
"He broke up with me a week later. You see, I was his first and when he found out that I wasn't a virgin...Anyway, we stopped seeing each other and I later found out that he told all the guys on the basketball team that I was easy. I didn't go out with anybody after that for a while," she said, preparing herself for the next part of her story.   
  
"Serena?" She looked up at the sound of the doctor's face and realized that she hadn't spoken in a few minutes.  
  
"Sorry. A few months after my fifteenth birthday, my father died in a car accident. I thought I would die from grief and reached out to anyone who seemed to show any interest in me. There was this guy...Nicholas Pike. He was my lab partner in science class and sometimes we would go to each other's houses to do our science homework together. He knew about my father's death and always comforted me whenever I felt lonely. One thing led to another, and pretty soon, we were having sex on his living room floor. I should have known that he was only using me because he had a girlfriend on the sly," Serena said. Dr. Eisner looked at her in sympathy and waited for her to resume.   
  
"Things didn't work out between Nick and me, so I moved on to another boy, and then another, and then another. By the time I turned sixteen, I had had five boyfriends, all of whom I slept with on a regular basis during our relationship, and eleven other one-night stands in between. My mother found out about my behaviour when I had a pregnancy scare after having sex with some guy I met in a club. She found the negative pregnancy test in my trashcan and hit me, screaming stuff about me being a disgrace to my father's memory and so forth. Her words just angered me and I found myself openly flaunting my sex life to her. And then, the day..." Serena broke down into sobs, brought her knees up to her chest and wrapped her arms around them.   
  
"The day after my high school graduation, she found me and one of my former teachers in a sixty-nine on her bed. He was so into it that he didn't even notice the door was opened and my mother standing there but I did. I expected her to pull me down from on top of him but she didn't even look surprised. She didn't even yell at me that time; I guess she had had enough. She just shook her head sadly at me and closed the door behind her softly when she left. The look of pity she had in her eyes scared me to the core but I just kept giving that teacher head until he came. I felt numb and didn't even notice when he left. I rinsed out my mouth and vowed never to be that girl again. The kind of girl who used sex to hurt her mother and everyone she loves that way."  
  
Dr. Eisner looked at her thoughtfully, choosing his words carefully. "So you've never gone out with another man for what, ten years? Don't you feel lonely?"  
  
"Yes. But I deserve to be lonely. Besides, who would want somebody as tainted as I am?" she replied quietly, not meeting his eyes.   
  
"You are not tainted. Nobody deserves to be lonely, Serena. You have as much right as anyone else to go out there and find the person you were meant to be with. What happens if you fall in love with someone, and he loves you back despite your past?" Dr. Eisner asked her gently.  
  
"I think it's already happened," she replied in a voice so soft, Dr. Eisner had to lean in closer to hear it.   
  
"What was that, Serena?"  
  
"I said it might have already happened. I mean, I don't know how he feels about me, but when I'm around Darien-that's Mr. Shie...err, Mr. Potts' son-I find myself feeling things that I've fought to suppress for ten years. I think I'm in love with him. No, I _know_ I'm in love with him," Serena sighed dejectedly.  
  
"Well, you don't seem too thrilled about it," stated Dr. Eisner, already expecting her reply.  
  
"Don't you see? He can't love someone like me! By loving him, I'm just setting myself up for a fall because I know he'll never have me. I'm worthless, and a disgrace to myself _and_ my family, and...and...I'm dirty! I'm tainted! HE said so!" she wailed, wringing her hands in agony.  
  
Dr. Eisner frowned in confusion. "Who did? Darien?"  
  
Serena gulped and shook her head frantically. "No, Darien would never say anything like that to me on purpose. _Jake_ did...Oh god, oh god, oh god," she whispered to herself as she fought the wave of nausea that came every time Jake Cassidy's name came to mind. Unable to stand it anymore, Serena tore off the couch and ran to the doctor's private washroom adjacent to his office. She locked the door and emptied the contents of her stomach into the toilet. She stood wearily on her shaking legs and rinsed out her mouth with hot water after flushing the toilet.   
  
When Serena felt better, she stepped outside the washroom and found Dr. Eisner waiting for her worriedly by the door with a look of concern upon his face. His normally cheerful green eyes were etched with worry and his hair looked like he had combed his fingers through it a number of times. "Are you feeling better now, Serena?"  
  
Serena gave him a small smile and nodded. "Yes, thank you Dr. Eisner."  
  
Dr. Eisner sighed in relief and looked at her apologetically. "I'm afraid that we'll have to continue our conversation next week, Serena. Your hour's almost up."  
  
"I understand doctor. I'll go speak with Janice."  
  
Dr. Eisner watched her leave and sank wearily behind his desk. Sometimes his job really sucked. 'Poor Serena. I hope she'll be able to find the happiness that we've found,' he thought as he gazed at the picture of his long-time girlfriend. He ran his finger lovingly over the image of her long reddish-brown hair. 'It's time to let go of the pain, Serena, and find happiness in the arms of the one you love.'  
  
~****************************~  
  
Darien gazed at Serena and wondered what had happened between the time she left him in the restaurant parking lot to the time they had finished eating another one of Lita's fabulous dishes, that got her so sombre. Sitting beside her on the couch in the spacious family room where they had retired after their meal, Darien gently tilted her chin up so that she was looking into his eyes. "What's wrong Sere?"  
  
Serena smiled sadly. "It's nothing Dare. I'm just feeling a little worn out after my doctor's appointment, is all."  
  
Darien wrinkled his brow in confusion. "What kind of doctor's appointment leaves a person feeling worn out?"  
  
At first, Serena was tempted to lie to him, but one look into his eyes made her want to come clean. "A therapist. I've been seeing a therapist for a while now, even when I was back in Canada. Please, just don't ask me any more..."  
  
Darien could see her troubled blue eyes pleading for understanding. He wanted to know more but he understood. "Of course, Serena. Besides, practically everyone in this town is seeing a therapist for some kind of problem or another. I understand your need for privacy Serena, but someday I hope that you'll feel comfortable coming to me with your troubles. I want to be there for you, Sere, I really do."  
  
"I know you do, thank-you," she said softly, leaning her head on his shoulder. This was the farthest she had ever gone with a man since that day ten years ago. Her mother had forgiven her, as did her brother and friends, but she could never forgive herself for all the horrible things she had done since she met Jake. She sat back up when Candace and Walter walked into the room.   
  
Candace looked at Walter slyly, nudging her eyebrow at towards the couple on the couch. Walter grinned at the picture. Darien and Serena were sitting close to each other on the couch and they had distinctly seen Serena's head on his shoulder before they walked into the room. Despite his protests, Walter had grown fond of Serena over the passing days and only kept up his 'gruff teddy bear' persona for show. He knew that Serena was the girl that would finally make an honest man out of his son; now if only Darien would make the first move. Candace sat down on the piano bench and started to play a waltz tune.   
  
Serena got up off the couch and walked towards Walter who had seated himself in the cozy leather armchair by the fireplace. "Come on Mr. Shields, let's dance."  
  
Walter raised an eyebrow at her in scorn. "Me, you want _me_ to dance with you, girlie? You don't know what you're asking for. Your toes will be screaming for mercy by the time I'm through with you. Ask my wife if you don't believe me. You're better off dancing with the boy."  
  
Candace smiled at her husband and followed his lead. "It's true, Serena dear. My toes still haven't recovered from the last outing we had. It's lucky that Darien inherited his sense of coordination from _my_ side of the family, not his father's. The Shields men, with the exception of Darien that is, are clods when it comes to dancing."  
  
Feeling backed into a corner by Walter and Candace, who were staring pointedly at her, Serena turned back to the couch and reached out a hand for Darien to take. "Okay Darien. Let's see what you got."  
  
The two waltzed in each other's arms around the room accompanied by Candace's playing. Darien led her through each step perfectly in time to the music. Serena felt herself gradually adjust to the feel of Darien's arms around her and the feel of his body close to hers. Darien felt like he was dancing on air, carried by the angel in his arms. Candace and Walter could see the deep feelings that ran between the two, but that both were afraid to say anything to the other in fear of rejection.   
  
When the song was finished, Darien gave a sweeping bow to his parents while Serena curtsied gracefully. Seeing them dancing together reminded Candace of something she had been meaning to bring up to Serena all week. "Serena dear, would you like to come with Walter and I to the hospital ball next week? I know it's short notice, but I've just had so many things on my mind..."  
  
"That's okay, Candace. I completely understand. Besides, Amy already invited me to go along with her fiancé Zachary, also a doctor."  
  
"That's wonderful, dear. I have an idea! Since I'm on the organizing committee, I could arrange for all of us to sit together. That is unless you wouldn't mind sitting with a couple of old fogies like us."  
  
Walter harrumphed. "Speak for yourself, Candy."  
  
Serena smiled. "That would be lovely and I'm sure Amy won't mind one bit."  
  
"That's great! Now, let's see...that's Walter, me, Amy, her fiancé, you...that leaves us with one more seat at the table. Are you bringing a date?" Candace asked, watching the intense glower upon her son's face.  
  
Serena blushed and looked down at the carpet. "No, I don't have a date, and I'm not looking for one. I just want to have a good time."  
  
"That's fine, dear. Now whom can we squeeze in who's all alone?" Candace pretended to think.  
  
Darien sighed loudly and threw his hands into the air. "Fine mom. _I'll_ go. But I just want you to know that I'm only doing this for you." Inside, Darien's heart was going a thousand beats per minute. 'YES! The perfect excuse to be out with Serena!'  
  
Walter, who was standing behind Darien and Serena, rolled his eyes at Candace, who in turn, smiled broadly. Now Walter and Candace knew just how smitten Darien was with Serena. Darien hadn't been to a hospital ball in five years ever since he broke up with Ann a few weeks before and all the single girls heard that he was back on the market. They threw themselves relentlessly at Darien, who was still heartbroken at the time, until he snapped and yelled at the women to leave him alone. Everything stopped at his outburst and Darien stalked angrily out of the ballroom, vowing never to darken its doors again.  
  
"Of course, son. Who else would you do it for?"  
  
***********************************************************************  
  
There! It's done and I'm tired. It's 3:12 in the morning and I can barely keep my eyes open. It's all for you, dear readers, it's all for you...so keep reviewing! 


	6. Much Ado About Dresses

I really don't have anything to say at the moment except thank you for the reviews! I never expected to get this many reviews only a few days after I posted the first chapter, but hey...who am I to complain?   
  
************************************************************************  
  
Wounded Souls  
  
Chapter five-Much Ado About Dresses  
  
By: crystal rose  
  
~*****************************~  
  
"How about this dress, Serena?" Amy asked, pointing at a red sleeveless number. Serena took one look at the dress and wrinkled her nose, indicating her dislike for it. "Red is Raye's colour, Amy, not mine."  
  
Amy sighed wearily. She and Serena had been looking for dresses to wear to the Charity Fundraiser Ball for the hospital ever since nine o'clock that morning. By the time two o'clock rolled around and Serena still couldn't find a dress she liked, even after having looked in every store in the mall _twice_, they took to the streets, checking every little boutique they happened upon. Amy herself had found a beautiful spaghetti-strapped blue silk chiffon dress that went down to her ankles and hugged her curves softly after checking the fourth store she went into. The price was reasonable and she already had matching shoes at home so she felt no need to prolong her search. Serena however...  
  
"Please Serena, _choose_ something already! We've been walking around forever and my feet hurt. The ball's only three nights away and at the rate you're going, you'll be wearing nothing but your bunny pajamas and matching bathrobe!"  
  
"Oh Ames, would you quit your bitching already? Geez, you're almost as bad as Raye when you're tired. Aren't you used to being on your feet all day?" Serena asked as she rummaged through the racks.  
  
"I'm on my feet all day _when I'm working_. You seem to forget that this is the only day off I've had in a long time and this" she said, waving her arm through the air, motioning to the multitudes of dresses that Serena had tried on and rejected, "isn't how I expected to spend it."  
  
"I told you to wear comfortable shoes Amy."  
  
"These shoes _are_ comfortable! You know what isn't comfortable, Sere? The pavement! No matter how comfortable your shoes are, if you've been walking for six hours straight on the streets, they're going to start feeling like horseshoes nailed on your feet. _What's_ your problem? These are all perfectly good dresses!" Amy cried.   
  
Serena sighed. 'Why _am_ I going through all this trouble to find a dress? It's not like I'm trying to impress someone...right?' She saw that she had gone through the entire store and still hadn't found anything. "Sorry, Ames. Nothing in this store." Seeing the look of pure horror on Amy's face, she hurriedly added, "I promise, one last store."  
  
Amy's face brightened considerably. "You promise?" she asked in a small voice, not daring to believe that her prayers were about to be answered. Serena smiled and nodded as she walked out the door, leaving an irate saleswoman to clean up the mess she made of their store. Amy breathed a huge sigh of relief. "Thank God."  
  
Serena surveyed the stores beside the one that they had just come out of. They were all high-end stores that sold dresses way out of Serena's price bracket. Looking across the street, she saw more of the same. Disappointed, she turned to Amy and was about to tell her that her wish had come true one store early, when she saw it. A small discount vintage clothing store tucked away between two other exclusive boutiques, completely overshadowed by their presence. "There!"  
  
Amy craned her neck to see what got Serena so excited. A dubious frown made its way across her forehead. "Vintage? Doesn't that mean the clothing's already been used? I don't know Sere..."  
  
"I have no choice, Amy. I can't afford all this designer shit and you're too tired to look any further. Besides, it's not like people walked in, donated the clothes off their backs and put price tags on them. I'm sure they've been cleaned..." Pushing all thoughts about hygiene out of her mind, Serena grabbed Amy's hand and began to pull her in the direction of the store.   
  
Having never bought anything from a used clothing store, Serena didn't know what to expect when she walked in. What she found were racks of clothing, in every style and size imaginable. She breezed through the men's section and walked straight to the ladies'. She flipped through the dresses in stock but found nothing she liked in her size. Sighing dejectedly, Serena turned around and was startled to find that the small Chinese woman sitting behind the counter when she first came in was now standing directly in front of her. "Oh, you scared me!"  
  
The lady smiled kindly. "Sorry about that. May I help you with something?"  
  
Serena shook her head. "I'm afraid not. All the dresses here are either not my style or not my size."  
  
"Is there a special occasion coming up?"  
  
"Yeah, this charity ball that my friend's hospital is hosting," she replied, motioning to Amy, who was busily scouring through the women's leather jackets a few racks away from Serena.  
  
The lady grinned. "Is there a special someone you wanted to impress?" she asked slyly. Serena's eyes widened and glanced at Amy, who was luckily still out of earshot. "I was right. This man, handsome, yes?"  
  
Serena blushed and nodded. "He's not my date or anything. We're just going to be sitting at the same table."  
  
The woman winked. "I met my husband when we sat next to each other on the bus. We've been married forty-two years."  
  
"Oh, I'm not looking for a husband."  
  
The petite woman raised an eyebrow. "Who's saying you are? Come, I have perfect dress for you. Just arrived today. You are size three, yes?"  
  
Serena nodded and allowed herself to be pulled to the back room where all new arrivals are stored until they can be sorted and priced after being cleaned. She watched as the storeowner rummaged through the various articles of clothing. "AHA!" she crowed triumphantly and walked back to Serena, holding a dress in her hands.  
  
"This dress very special. Was my own dress when I was your age. Here, try it on."  
  
Serena lifted the dress delicately from its owner's hands. It was a satin silver chung sam, (AN: I don't know if that's how you spell it, but it's a Chinese style dress with a mandarin collar and two side slits) with an elaborate flower pattern embroidered delicately in pink silk thread and black piping along the seams. "It's beautiful," she breathed, not daring to take her eyes off it, afraid that it would disappear. She hurried to a change room and slipped it on carefully. The dress accentuated her figure, enhancing her trim waist and flattering her ample bosom. Since the dress had a high collar, she wasn't worried about showing too much skin. Even the two slits going up the sides of the dress didn't bother her because they stopped at her knees. Serena stepped out of the tiny fitting room and saw both Amy and the saleslady waiting eagerly.  
  
"Oh Sere! That dress is perfect! You _have_ to get it!" Amy cried. It's been years since she last saw Serena in a formal dress.   
  
The lady agreed. "Yes. That is the dress for you."  
  
Serena nodded happily. "How much is it?"  
  
"For you, no charge."  
  
"I can't...please, let me pay for it," she pleaded. The woman shook her head stubbornly.  
  
"This dress made for you. I won't take no for answer." They quibbled about the price for another ten minutes before the woman finally let her pay twenty dollars for it. The woman watched as Amy skipped out of the store, happy that she was soon about to go home and that her friend had found the perfect dress, and placed her hand on Serena's arm.  
  
"Good luck with your man. That dress was one I wear to my wedding." Serena blushed and nodded.  
  
"Thank you so much for the dress," she said, giving the kind lady a hug goodbye. "But I'm not looking for a husband."  
  
"That's what they all say."  
  
~**********************************~  
  
"Bye Ames! See you at the party!" Serena waved to her friend, who had just dropped her off at the Shields mansion. Amy tooted her horn in response and backed down the driveway. Serena watched until Amy was down the street before she turned and entered the house. She held the garment bag carefully so as not to step on the bottom of the dress, and proceeded to climb the stairs leading to her room.   
  
"Hey Sere! Whatcha got there?" Serena paused mid-step upon hearing Darien's voice. She smiled, her heart starting to beat faster, and fought to maintain her look of cool composure.   
  
"Wouldn't you like to know? It's my dress for the ball on Saturday," she replied. 'He's never going to love a woman like me. He deserves someone better.' The thought of Darien spending the rest of his life with another woman tore at her already fragile heart, causing her to flinch slightly, but not enough for Darien to notice.  
  
Darien meanwhile, was standing at the bottom of the stairs, studying her face. 'I'm sure whatever dress she bought would look fantastic on her. Sere could wear a black garbage bag and flip flops and she would look like a goddess.' He ran up the steps two at a time, until he reached the step she was standing on. Darien glanced at the bag Serena was holding protectively against her chest, and for a moment, felt a wave of irrational jealously aimed at said bag. Shaking off his foolishness, he said, "so come on, out with it already. Let's have a look."  
  
Serena raised an eyebrow in mock scorn. "Hell no. You'll see this dress along with everyone else at the ball, and no sooner. A girl's got to keep _some_ things to herself."  
  
Darien pretended to pout pitifully, almost causing Serena to give in. Almost, but not quite. Seeing that she was resolute in keeping her dress a secret, Darien resorted to another tactic. "Give me a clue?"  
  
Serena pretended to think about it as she climbed the rest of the way up the stairs with Darien following close behind. "Alright, I bought a wedding dress."  
  
Darien stumbled in surprise. 'A wedding dress? For the ball?' "It's a charity ball, not a costume party, Serena. Does it come with a veil?"  
  
Serena laughed, sending ripples down Darien's spine. "No, silly. I bought this dress at a vintage store. The owner sold it to me for twenty dollars and told me it was the dress she got married in."  
  
"You bought a dress for twenty dollars? Don't we pay you enough?" Darien asked in genuine confusion. "If you didn't have enough, you should have said something-"  
  
"_Of course_ you pay me enough! God, you guys pay me more than I've ever been paid before! I _did_ go to those designer places but I just didn't like the dresses they had. They all looked so hoity-toity I almost didn't recognize myself in them. When I looked in the mirror, I saw this unfamiliar grown-up staring back at me," she explained simply.   
  
"No wonder you were gone all day. Girls are so picky when it comes to finding a dress," Darien said as they reached her door.   
  
"That's where guys have it made. All they have to do is bust out the tuxedo and head out the door. They don't even have to worry about their hair! Amy and I spent _hours_ just finding the perfect dress. Granted, Amy found her dress after about an hour and since she already had the shoes, she was good to go. I, on the other hand, was harder to please. I dragged poor Amy around the entire mall twice, then dragged her eight blocks, looking in every single boutique we happened upon. By the time we got to the vintage store, Amy was cursing the day she had ever laid eyes on me with a vocabulary that would make a sailor jealous. But it was worth it. I love this dress," she said dreamily.   
  
Darien stared at her as she clutched her dress tighter to herself. 'I'm sure that whatever it is, be it garbage bag or wedding dress, I'm going to love it because I love her.' He smiled softly at her. "You'll look great in it, Sere, as usual," he said huskily. Realizing what he'd just said and how he said it, he quickly added, "if you take out the food that's always in your mouth, that is."  
  
"Hey!" she cried in mock indignation. She swatted his stomach, walked in her room, nose high in the air and slammed the door. A moment later, her door opened and Serena popped her head out. "Hey Dare?"  
  
"Yes Sere?"  
  
"See ya later for dinner?"  
  
"You bet your ass you will," he replied, then groaned inwardly. 'Don't think about her ass. Don't think about her ass,' Darien chanted as he walked back into his room, pictures of Serena's ass flashing through his mind. Throwing his suit jacket on a chair, he reached out and dialed his friend's number.  
  
"Hello?"  
  
"Hey Drew. You got a minute?"  
  
A rustling of papers could be heard before his friend spoke. "Sure Dare. What's up?"  
  
Darien exhaled gloomily. "I'm in love."  
  
"Excuse me?" his friend asked dryly.  
  
"You heard me. I'm in love."  
  
"Who's the flavour of the week _this_ time?" his friend mocked.  
  
"I'll have you know that my Sere isn't just another conquest for me. She's...she's a goddess. She's perfect-the most beautiful creature in the whole world. Sere's the one Drew, I just know it," Darien babbled.  
  
On the other end of the line, Drew raised his eyebrow. "So I take it your bachelor days are over? Will wonders never cease? Darien Shields, consummate bachelor, in love with a woman?"  
  
Darien flopped on his bed and stared at the ceiling. "Yes, I'm in love. I'm so in love I can't think straight. I see her in everything around me. I look at the sun and see her golden hair. I hear her laugh and I do everything in my power to prolong that moment. I look at the sky and find myself comparing its colour to her eyes. I've been in love with her from the moment I saw her."  
  
"This _is_ serious. I've never heard you act this way before Darien, and frankly, it's about time. It's high time a woman strung you along instead of it being the other way around," Drew said as he looked at a few files on his desk. "Have you asked her out yet?"  
  
"That's the thing. I don't think she's interested. She's mentioned before that she's not in a relationship at the moment and she's not looking for one either. Take the hospital ball, for instance. She's not going with anyone, I'm not going with anyone and we're sitting at the same table. Now, if you were in her position, wouldn't you just naturally turn to me and call it a date between us? But no, she's insisting that she's not looking for a date-no matter how casual-for that night and I highly suspect for a long while."  
  
At hearing that Darien was going to the ball, Drew straightened up. "_You're_ going to the ball? You must be _really_ hung up on this girl. I remember how much you bitched off for days because all those women were stalking you that night and how you practically bit their heads off five years ago. She must really be something."  
  
"She's everything..." Darien sighed, picturing Serena in his arms beside him.  
  
Drew was fighting the urge to gag over the phone. 'Oh geez. Darien's gone head over heels for this Sere. I wonder why she won't go out with him?'  
  
"So Drew, you and Rita going to the ball? Maybe I can introduce you to Sere."  
  
"Nah, I can think of better things to do on a Saturday night than hang around pretentious money-bags trying to beat each other out in the philanthropy department. I'm taking Rita out for a romantic evening involving a lot of wine, a tub of bubbles and very little clothing," Drew replied.  
  
"Aw geez Drew, cut it out. Too much info...I don't know how Rita puts up with your ass day in and day out," he said, flipping on the TV and channel surfing.  
  
"Hey, _you_ called me, not the other way around. I've had to listen to you extol the many virtues of this mysterious Sere for the duration of this call and the one time I mention my plans, you get all 'oh no, Drew...shut up Drew...'" he replied, half seriously, half in jest.  
  
"I think you need to see a therapist, your work is beginning to take its toll," Darien said dryly, tossing the remote away after finding nothing good to watch.  
  
"Very funny. Hold on, I've got another call," he said, putting Darien on hold. After a few seconds, Drew returned on the line. "Listen Dare, sorry to cut this short, but my last appointment of the day is here. We'll continue this some other time, okay?"  
  
"Sure, no prob. Later," he said and hung up the phone. 'Hmm. I need to wind down and _not_ think of Sere and the various things she could be doing in there, all alone in the privacy of her room. The various, naughty things she could be doing in there...' Darien shook his head vigorously and smiled to himself. 'I need to cool off. I know! I'll go for a swim downstairs.' He grabbed his trunks from the dresser drawer and pulled them on before tying his robe around himself and making his way out the door.  
  
Darien dove into the heated waters of the indoor pool and began to swim laps, thinking of everything but the beautiful nymph that had captured his heart. He sliced through the water with the grace of a dolphin. Darien had been swimming for a few minutes when he thought he heard a voice that stopped him mid-stroke.   
  
He treaded water to stay afloat and watched as Serena carefully led Walter down the steps into the shallow end of the pool. She wore a modest one-piece suit that did nothing to hide her figure. Serena's golden hair shimmered down to her waist, covering her bare back, and Darien longed to run his fingers through it. He watched unnoticed as Serena showed his father how to do water aerobics. Even from where he was, Darien could hear his father uttering complaint after complaint about Serena's 'newfangled notions.'  
  
"Listen girlie, I feel like a damn fool waving my arms about like some frou-frou ballerina. I demand you release me at once!" he grumbled.   
  
Serena chuckled softly but not unkindly. "But Mr. Shields, water aerobics is a very good way of doing low-impact exercises. Besides, it's better than sweating it out in the gym everyday. If you stop now, you'll just undo all the hard work you've been doing for the past month and you don't want to do that, do you?" she asked gently.   
  
Darien called out Serena's name, causing her to swivel around in surprise. He began swimming towards them quickly and smoothly, and stopped when he sensed someone's presence close by. "I was swimming in the deep end of the pool when I heard you guys come in and couldn't help overhearing your conversation. Dad, Serena's right. You've made so much progress ever since your stroke that it would be such a shame to let all that go to waste just because you feel ridiculous."  
  
Serena turned around and blushed, for Darien was standing directly behind her. He was so close that all she had to do was take half a step backwards to lean against his chest. 'Does he know how he affects me, all glistening with water and oh so stud-muffinly? Does he know what he does to my insides when he's standing so close to me? Why does he have to be so gorgeous? Why does he have to have the complete package: the height, the smile-oh god the smile-the eyes, the charm and that damned hair that just makes me itch to run my fingers through it. Why couldn't he have _some_ flaw in him, like a beer belly, or a hideously hairy chest? Not just a typical hairy chest-that I could somehow deal with-but I mean _HAIRY_ all over, like a thick shag rug. You couldn't tell where the beard ended and the chest hair began, it's so thick. Why does he have to be so perfect while I'm so flawed?' Not realizing her actions, Serena turned to Darien and jabbed an accusing finger against his chest. "WHY?"  
  
Darien almost fell backwards from the force of Serena's jab. "Why what?"  
  
Serena, realizing for the first time what it is that she had done, turned as red as a tomato. She looked past his shoulder at the deep end, longing to sit out her embarrassment at the bottom of the pool. "Why...why...did you...sneak up on us like that? You scared me half to death!" Serena mentally slapped her forehead at her lame excuse.  
  
"I didn't sneak up on you, Serena. Didn't you hear me calling your name from the other end? I could've sworn I saw you turn around and saw me heading your way," he replied.  
  
"No, I most certainly did not. I was...showing your father how to...stretch his neck and back muscles," Serena said, begging Walter in her mind to agree with her for once.  
  
Apparently, Walter had a death wish because instead of covering for her, he smiled evilly. Serena watched in trepidation as the gears in Walter's mind turned. "But girlie, you said, and I quote: 'look Mr. Shields, it's Darien.' Why are you pretending you didn't see him before?" he asked with as much innocence as he could muster.  
  
Serena glared at him as Darien turned his attention back to her. "Stretches, huh?" he asked sardonically, arching his eyebrow at her.  
  
Serena thought fast. She had to get both of them to focus on something else and forget their little exchange ever occurred. Turning to Walter, she uttered the first phrase that came to mind. "Puppy-kicker."  
  
Serena watched Walter's face in smug satisfaction as Darien's own face paled. "Darien Beauford Bennett Shields! Is nothing sacred in this family? How could you tell girlie about that?" Walter roared, his face purple and his eyes bulging. Darien gulped nervously and waded farther away from his enraged father.   
  
"Calm down, dad. You don't want to suffer another stroke, do you?"  
  
"I'll show you _stroke_!" he replied, advancing towards his son before he felt Serena restraining him. "Let me go, girlie. I have a lesson to teach my _son_ about family loyalty," he threatened, struggling against her hold.  
  
"Just a sec, Mr. Shields. I just want to clear the air of something. Are you telling me that Darien's middle name is Beauford?" she asked.  
  
Again, that evil smile made its way across Walter's face as he nodded. "His mother wanted to name him after her grandfather. I told the Candace that the boy would be crushed to a pulp in school if she named him Beauford so we compromised. I would name the boy something more suitable, and she would get to keep _Beauford_ as his middle name. Never could resist that woman," he mused, more to himself than to the others. "So don't say I never did anything for you boy. If I didn't put my foot down, you wouldn't be alive to hear girlie over here laughing her fool head off about you being a Beauford."   
  
Sure enough, Serena was laughing so hard tears were rolling down her face. What was it about the Shields men that made her laugh in a way she hadn't laughed in ten years? Walter and Darien smiled indulgently at her, reveling in the sound of her joyous laughter. Darien tried to look peeved at Serena, but one look at her shaking form threw all his resolve out the window. Darien signaled to his father when Serena wasn't looking and in one quick move, dunked her head underneath the water.  
  
She came up sputtering and yelling obscenities at him, causing Darien and Walter to laugh at her good-naturedly. "You look like a drowned rat, girlie. Here, have some water to cool you off," Walter said as he splashed some water at her, causing a water fight between the three that lasted for ten minutes until Candace came looking for them when none of them showed up for dinner.  
  
~************************************~  
  
It was the night of the ball (AN: bet you thought I'd never get there, huh?) and Serena was putting the last touches of her outfit together. She wore her "new-old" dress and borrowed a pair of silver high heels from Candace. She wore a dangly pair of small, teardrop-shaped crystal earrings wrought in white gold which had been passed down to every first-born girl in their family for five generations and given to her by her mother when she turned eighteen. She kept her makeup to a minimum, opting for a strawberry coloured lip gloss instead of lipstick, and just a sweep of blush on her cheeks. Her hair was arrayed in a low bun, with a few loose tendrils framing her face. As a final touch, Serena tucked a single pink lily to the right side of the base of the bun. 'There, simple and elegant.'   
  
She made her way down the hallway and started down the stairs where the Shields family had just begun to gather. The light reflected off her earrings, causing Darien to turn in her direction as she descended the stairs carefully. His breath caught in his throat as he watched her intently, committing her image to memory. Darien cleared his throat, causing Candace and Walter, who had been fussing about Walter's bow tie, to look up. What they saw was a vision gliding down the stairs bashfully.   
  
"Oh Serena dear, you look wonderful!" Candace exclaimed. "Doesn't she, Walter?"  
  
Walter scrutinized her from top to bottom before shrugging carelessly. "You clean up real well, girlie. Almost didn't recognize you."  
  
Serena glanced at Darien out of the corner of her eye, waiting for his reaction. He was, after all, the reason she went to all that trouble to find the perfect dress. Serena blushed. 'Why doesn't he say anything?'  
  
Darien, in the meanwhile, had to struggle to pick his jaw off the floor and push his bulging eyes back into their sockets. He gulped, searching for the perfect words that would complement his perfect Serena. "Who would have known a twenty dollar dress would end up making you look like a million bucks?"  
  
Serena blushed even deeper as Candace and Walter watched the display that was playing out before them. "Thanks, Dare. You don't look so bad yourself." Indeed, he didn't. Darien looked even more dashing in his simple black tuxedo, complete with a white rose in his lapel.   
  
"Uh, honey bear, I think I forgot to make some last-minute arrangements about the...food tonight. I have to go and make a phone call in the other room," Candace said, urging Walter to follow her lead by squeezing his hand rather painfully.  
  
Walter sighed in surrender. 'Never could say no to this woman. That's why I finally agreed to go out with her when she was chasing me around in our teen years.' Looking at his lovely wife, who was glaring at him pointedly, he said, "why don't you two go on ahead without us in your car, son? You know your mother; this will probably take a while. We'll just have Thomas drive us there."  
  
"Oh that's okay, Mr. Shields. We don't mind waiting for Candace," Serena replied innocently as Darien agreed with her.  
  
Walter resisted the urge to roll his eyes at the clueless couple before him. "What makes you two think that I want you to wait for us? You're not the only Casanova in this house, Darien. For all you know, I could be waiting for you to leave us the hell alone so that I could have my way with my knock-out of a wife," he said, smacking Candace soundly on the ass, causing her to jump about three feet in the air.  
  
Candace groaned in embarrassment. This was not what she had in mind when she asked her husband to stall. Darien grimaced, trying to block out the mental pictures that just popped up unwillingly in his head. 'Oh god, I think I'm going to throw up.'   
  
Serena, however, smiled that huge smile of hers and winked saucily at Walter. "Ohh, you sly devil, you. I always knew you were just a softie at heart, and now I have the proof. All right, go ahead Candace. Make all the 'phone calls' you want. Darien and I'll just head to the ball on our own. See ya later," she said, waving coyly at the older couple behind her.  
  
~**************************~  
  
Darien and Serena stepped into the elegantly decorated ballroom and headed towards the table that they were assigned to sit at the door. Serena gazed around in wonder, taking in the beauty of the place. Palatial windows stretched from floor to ceiling throughout the room, giving a splendid view of the city below. Tiny white lights were strung on the topiaries that lined the walls and multitudes of votive candles and white roses made up the table centrepieces in the dimly lit ballroom. Soft music played over the loud speakers and Serena could see that there was a large dance floor in the centre of the room. She also saw a podium on the stage from which a runway jutted out onto the floor.   
  
"Hey Dare, what's with the runway?" she asked, pointing to it.  
  
"Oh that. Mom told me that apart from the ball itself acting as a fundraiser, there's also going to be a fashion show before the dinner to showcase the young designers in the city. The guests could purchase the clothes that are being modeled later on in the evening and the proceeds would go to the Cancer Fund," Darien explained.  
  
"What would the designers get out of it if all the proceeds are being donated to charity?" she asked.  
  
"Well, they'd get notoriety and have their works displayed in front of a crowd of people who hold a lot of influence in this town. They're really going for advertisement tonight, not profit, although that will come eventually if their work is any good." Darien spotted Amy sitting at a table with a strawberry blond haired man he assumed must have been her fiancé Zachary. "Look, there's Amy at our table already."   
  
Serena followed Darien's gaze and saw the familiar blue-black head chatting animatedly with Zachary, whom she had seen in pictures Amy had sent her. "Ames!"  
  
Hearing her name being called, Amy turned in her seat and saw Darien and Serena walking towards them. The couple stood up and the introductions began. "Serena, this is Zachary Harris. Zach, this is Serena Mathis, one of my best friends in the whole world, and Darien Shields, her friend," Amy said. Zachary, Serena and Darien all shook hands.  
  
Darien frowned at Zach, trying to remember where he had seen him. "Pardon me, Zach, but have we met before?"  
  
Zachary studied Darien's face before erupting into a smile. "Did you go to Harvard and stay in Camden Hall?" (AN: doesn't exist; just made it up)  
  
"You're 'Zach the Mack,' aren't you?" Darien asked excitedly.  
  
"And you're 'Bed-buster Shields!' How've you been?" Zach said.  
  
Amy and Serena exchanged amused looks as Darien and Zach began to reminisce about old times in their old college dorm. Amy turned to her fiancé with a raised eyebrow. "'Zach the Mack?' I wasn't aware that you were a ladies' man back in college days, if you ever were," she asked with a hint of steel in her voice.  
  
Zach gulped nervously. "Um, you see...er...it was the early nineties and I was far from home...don't be mad..."  
  
Darien laughed. "It's not what you think Amy. Zach was the guy to call when it came time to move heavy objects around in our dorm because he used to lift weights and was the strongest guy there. Pretty soon, everyone started calling him 'Zach the Mack' after those eighteen-wheeler Mack trucks."  
  
"What about you, 'Bed-buster?'" Serena asked.  
  
Darien flushed and soon it was Zach's turn to laugh. "Oh he got that name when this obnoxious guy loosened the screws on his bed as an April Fool's Day prank. Darien and his roommate were standing on it because they were trying to change a light bulb when the bed fell apart, resulting a very noisy crash. Everyone that heard it and their screams of agony rushed into their room and found Darien and his roommate in a _very_ compromising position. Someone took a picture and the results were a front-page article entitled 'How many Fools does it take to screw in a light bulb?' and a very fitting nickname."  
  
Serena and Amy laughed until they were blue in the face while Darien cursed Zach for bringing up that horrible name that took him five years to live down. After a few minutes of idle chitchat, the girls excused themselves to freshen up in the ladies' room.  
  
Once they were in front of the mirror, Amy looked around to make sure that they were alone and turned to Serena expectantly. "What?"  
  
"Well?"  
  
"Well what?"  
  
Amy sighed exaggeratedly at Serena. "What do you think about Zach?"  
  
"He seems like a great guy, Ames. You two are perfect for each other. I couldn't be happier for you, Ames," she replied sincerely.  
  
Amy beamed, glad that her fiancé had passed the quality control test. "I just wish that you could find someone like him."  
  
Serena smiled sadly as she reapplied her lip-gloss. "You know I'm not looking, Ames." 'Not anymore now that I've found Darien.'  
  
"What about Darien? He seems to really like you and the feeling is mutual, right? I've never seen you happier than when you're with him," Amy said.  
  
Serena bit the inside of her cheek to prevent herself from crying. "Ames, you know my past. Even if we felt something for each other, it would never work out. Darien deserves someone better than a slut like me."  
  
Amy shook her head firmly. "No Serena. Your past is the past. Don't blame yourself for what happened that night because it wasn't your fault. You didn't cause your father's death, Jake did."  
  
At the mention of the night her father died, Serena paled and her stomach lurched. "Please Ames, can we not talk about this now? If I talk about that night, I'll never be able to go back out there and then Darien will insist on knowing what's going on. Please just drop it."  
  
"You're right, Sere. I'm sorry for bringing it up. Are you okay now?" Amy asked gently, stroking Serena's back as she leaned on the sink for support. Serena took a few calming breaths and nodded her head. "Good. Let's go back to the table before the guys wonder what happened to us."  
  
They had not gotten past the washroom door more than a few steps when a tall black-haired woman collided with Serena, knocking her against the wall. "Oh I'm really sorry!" she exclaimed, helping Serena on her feet again. "Please excuse me!"  
  
"That's okay, no harm done. It was my fault too; I wasn't watching where I was going," Serena replied.  
  
The woman took one look at Serena and gasped. "You're just the person I'm looking for!" she said, pulling on Serena's hand.  
  
"Excuse me?"   
  
"I'm sorry, how rude of me. My name's Luna Farrington and I'm the organizer of the fashion show. One of my models is a no-show tonight and there's no one to fill in for her at such short notice. You're about her body size, even if you are a few inches shorter. Never mind, we'll just pin the hems up a bit so you won't trip."  
  
"What makes you think I'm willing to fill in for your model?" Serena asked.  
  
To her surprise, Luna clasped her hands together and furrowed her brows. "Please, please, please do this for me, Ms..."  
  
"Serena Mathis."  
  
"Ms. Mathis. You're my only hope. Damn Emerald was supposed to model three outfits tonight, including the showpiece of the Trista Meiou, one of the nurses who work at the hospital. It's always been her dream to become a fashion designer, and tonight's her debut. Please don't kill her dream by saying no," Luna begged.  
  
Serena turned pleading eyes to Amy and silently begged her to get her out of this. "She'll do it, Ms. Farrington. Serena here used to do a bit of modeling before she entered middle school. Besides, it's for charity, right Sere?"  
  
Serena sighed, defeated. "Alright Ms. Farrington, show me the way."  
  
Luna breathed a sigh of relief. "Thank you, Ms. Mathis. You don't know what this means to me. This way."  
  
Serena followed Luna wearily behind the stage, leaving Amy to return by herself to the table, where Candace and Walter had already joined Darien and Zach. She sat down beside Serena's empty chair and Zach and greeted Darien's parents.  
  
Seeing that Amy came back alone, Darien turned to her; concerned that Serena had found someone else to spend the evening with. "Where's Serena, Amy?" he asked as evenly as he could.  
  
Amy waved her hand dismissively and smiled. "Oh, Luna Farrington's got her claws into her. (AN: get it? Luna...claws?) It seems that a model backed out at the last minute and she asked Serena to fill in for her. At first, she refused, but I managed to convince her to do it after a pretty decent guilt trip from Luna." As she said this, the lights dimmed and Luna stepped out onto the stage and behind the podium. She squinted against the spotlight focused on her and adjusted her microphone.   
  
"Attention ladies and gentlemen. Welcome to the Cedars-Sinai 12th annual Hospital Charity Fundraiser Ball. I'm your host and fashion show emcee for this evening, Luna Farrington. Who's ready to see gorgeous people modeling gorgeous clothes?" she asked, getting applause from the crowd.  
  
'There's only one gorgeous woman I want to see,' Darien thought as he listened to Luna introducing the first models walking down the runway. The show went on for about ten minutes and Darien was starting to get bored. He snapped to attention when he saw Serena step out shyly in a light pink dress that went down to her thighs.  
  
"And here we have Serena Mathis modeling a Trista Meiou design. Please note the hand-beaded design..." Luna droned but Darien was far too busy ogling Serena to pay attention to the outfit's features. He watched Serena walk confidently down the runway and execute a few turns that would have made Cindy Crawford proud. Their eyes met all of a sudden, and Serena smiled at him before turning away.  
  
Candace saw Darien staring slack-jawed at Serena and elbowed Walter in the ribs. "What is it, Candace?" he asked irritated. She pointed her chin across the table at Darien, who seemed to have gone into a catatonic state. "I see. Hey boy, snap out of it."  
  
Darien was vaguely aware that his father had spoken to him. When Serena came out, the world seemed to go into slow motion and all he could see was she. He noted every step that she took, the way the dress moved as she walked and the electricity that flowed between them when they made eye contact. Darien was sitting on pins and needles, waiting for Serena's next turn down the catwalk. He was not disappointed as Serena made her way down in a skimpy gold bikini after having been seemingly pushed from behind. Darien noted that Serena walked with less confidence than before and she practically ran back behind the curtain after making one turn instead of the regulation three. 'Well, I could sort of understand that. Who wants to parade around in front of a bunch of strangers wearing nothing but a bikini? But _damn, what_ a bikini it is.'  
  
"And now, for our final outfit for this evening, we have Serena once again modeling this Grecian-inspired evening gown by Cedars-Sinai's own, Trista Meiou..."  
  
Serena stepped out on the catwalk wearing a strapless white floor-length silk and chiffon gown with an empire waist and gold crescents around the bust-line. The soft fabric fluttered in the breeze created when she walked, showing off her curves. As she turned around and modeled the dress from behind, Darien saw that the dress was backless, exposing Serena's smooth, creamy skin once more. Darien smiled in appreciation as she once again made her way to the back, amidst thunderous applause. A few seconds later, Serena walked back out again, this time followed by her fellow models and the designers and took their bows. The designers were handed bouquets of flowers while the models walked down the runway once more in single file and headed back stage, signifying the end of the fashion show.   
  
~**************************~  
  
"You wanted to see me about something, Trista?" asked Serena, who had changed back to her silver dress. Trista nodded her head and smiled.  
  
"First of all, I just wanted to thank you for stepping in when you did and bailing me out like that. Because of you, my designs were a big hit tonight. Second of all, to show my appreciation, I want to give you the 'Princess' dress you modeled," Trista replied.  
  
Serena gasped. "I can't take it, Trista! It's much too extravagant!"  
  
"I want you to have it. It means so much to me that my dream is finally coming true and it was all thanks to you. If I couldn't find a model for tonight, I would have been forced to withdraw those three dresses that you wore because nobody else had the right size and look to pull them off. I think you agree with me that the last dress was the best one of them all. If nobody saw it, I'd probably just be labeled as just another mediocre designer trying to scratch a living," she replied and smiled. "I won't take no for an answer, Serena. Besides, I've already made plans to ship it to the Shields mansion where you're living."  
  
Serena hugged Trista tightly. "Thank you Trista. I felt every inch a princess in that dress and for me to get to keep it, well...I guess you made one of my dreams come true too. Good luck with your career. I'll be watching the fashion magazines for you."  
  
Trista watched Serena walk away and sighed. 'My dreams are finally coming true.'  
  
"So, did you do it?" a deep voice asked from the shadows. Trista nodded and watched Darien Shields step into the light. "You didn't tell her who it was from, did you?"  
  
"No Mr. Shields, I didn't. I told her that it was a 'thank-you' gift from me and that I wouldn't take no for an answer," Trista replied. A few minutes after the fashion show ended, she got a message from Luna that a Darien Shields wanted a word with her. Trista wasn't stupid; she knew all about the wealthy Shields family and the influence they had so of course she met with him. He told her that he wanted to buy the dress for Serena and that she mustn't know whom it's from. He paid her a whopping twenty thousand dollars, more than ten times the amount of the dress, to ensure that Serena would be it's exclusive owner. Trista promised to keep his secret and wished him luck in achieving _his_ dream of capturing Serena's heart.  
  
Darien smiled at her, causing Trista's heart to flutter excitedly before remembering that his heart was already spoken for. "Thanks. I have a feeling that I'll need it."  
  
~**********************************~  
  
Dessert was just being cleared away as Amy turned to Serena. "Oh, I almost forgot. I was going to tell you earlier this evening before Luna whisked you off that Zach and I have decided to move the wedding up from September to July 15 because we couldn't get time off during that month. I already spoke to Raye and she said that she'll definitely be there with Kayla, with or without Justin if she has to. I've already mailed out the invitations. Mr. and Mrs. Shields, your invitations should be arriving soon, including Darien's."  
  
"Oh, thank you Amy dear. We'd love to go," replied Candace before Walter could stick his two cents in.  
  
"Yay! I get to be a bridesmaid, I get to be a bridesmaid, I get to be a bridesmaid," Serena sang, oblivious to the stares she got from people in other tables.   
  
Walter groaned loudly. "It's too bad girlie over here can't sing as well as she can model." Just then, soft music began playing again and the lights dimmed until only the lights on the dance floor were on. "Come on Candy, I love this song."  
  
"It's a good thing these heels have a steel toe, otherwise I'd never be able to walk again," Candace joked.  
  
"You cut me to the quick, Mistress Candace. Come, let us partake of the merrymaking with light hearts and most importantly, light feet," Walter said, leading Candace to the floor where they swayed gracefully in each other's arms. 'Now I know where I got my dramatic flair from,' Darien thought. He watched as Amy and Zach followed suit and started dancing, leaving him alone with Serena. They sat there for a few awkward minutes before a woman stepped up to Darien.  
  
"Excuse me? Would you like to dance?" she asked.  
  
Serena watched jealously as Darien smiled up at her. "No thanks. I've got two left feet and you're too beautiful to walk around with a cane because I kept stepping on you while we danced." Serena sighed with relief as the woman nodded her head and walked away.  
  
It was Darien's turn to see red a few minutes later when a man asked Serena for a dance. He breathed a sigh of relief when she turned him down, citing fatigue. He turned to her with a mischievous smile upon his lips. "Why don't we just dance together to get these people off our backs?"  
  
Serena smiled and allowed herself to be led on the dance floor. 'This is a very big step for me. I haven't danced with a man since mom caught me with Mr. Henderson. I wonder if his wife ever found out about us?' Shaking her head to clear such thoughts out of her mind, she placed her arms around Darien's neck as he placed his around her narrow waist. The familiar strains of Tony Bennett's 'The Way You Look Tonight' started playing as Serena nestled her head against Darien's hard chest.   
  
**Someday, when I'm awfully low  
  
When the world is cold  
  
I will feel a glow just thinking of you  
  
And the way you look tonight.**  
  
Darien started humming along softly and Serena could feel his chest vibrating with each sound he made. His rich voice started to lull her into a sense of peace and she closed her eyes to savour it. She felt his arms tighten around her as he pulled her even closer to him.  
  
**Oh, but you're lovely  
  
With your smile so warm,  
  
And your cheek so soft,  
  
There is nothing for me but to love you  
  
And the way you look tonight**  
  
'She's perfect,' Darien thought, as he nuzzled the top of her head. He heard her sigh in contentment before he felt her fingers start to inch up his neck and play with his hair, sending ripples down his spine.   
  
**With each word, you tenderness grows  
  
Tearing my fear apart  
  
And that laugh that wrinkles your nose  
  
Touches my foolish heart  
  
'I've never felt safer than I have right now,' thought Serena. She thought back to the times with her previous boyfriends and lovers. 'Not even close.'  
  
**Lovely, never ever change,  
  
Keep that breathless charm  
  
Won't you please arrange it,  
  
Cause I love you  
  
Just the way you look tonight...**  
  
'He has to know how I feel...'  
  
'I have to tell her I love her...'  
  
"Darien I-"  
  
"Serena-"  
  
They laughed nervously. "You go ahead," they said at the same time.   
  
"Go ahead, Darien," Serena urged.  
  
Darien took a deep breath. Just as he opened his mouth, his cell phone rang. 'God dammit! Of all the worse times to call a person...' He smiled sheepishly down at Serena, who was still in his arms. "I'm sorry Serena, but I have to take this. The Tokyo office has been having problems all week with this deal..."  
  
"It's okay, Darien. Why don't we go sit down while you talk?"  
  
At the table, Serena watched Darien's face scrunched up with concern. "What do you mean they want to pull out of the deal? They signed the contract; there's no backing out now."  
  
'It's a good thing I didn't tell him anything yet. It looks like he's having major problems...'  
  
"NO! That's impossible!...Can't you tell them that?...Listen to me..."  
  
'If I had told him how I felt now and he got this phone call, he wouldn't be able to concentrate on his work. I'll just tell him another time...'  
  
Darien disconnected the phone angrily and raked his finger through his hair. "I'm sorry Sere, but I'm going to have to go home now and pack. I have to be in Tokyo ASAP so I'm leaving tonight on the company jet. If you want, you can stay here and go home with my parents..."  
  
"That's okay, Dare. If you don't mind, could you take me back to the house too? I'm pretty tired after having strutted my stuff on the catwalk," she replied, disappointed that their talk would have to be delayed until he got back.  
  
"Sure." They got up to say goodbye to the dancing couples and told them their reason for leaving. Candace had been watching them dance, thinking that they would finally confess their feelings for each other and saw the frustration in their faces when Darien got the call.  
  
"Take care, son. Come home soon."  
  
~***************************~  
  
"Sere...Sere, we're here," Darien whispered softly, trying to wake a sleeping Serena up. 'She looks like an angel when she's asleep.' Hating to disturb her, Darien got out of the car and walked over to her side. Gently, he picked her up and carried her inside the house. Darien ascended the stairs with ease and soon reached her bedroom door. He laid her down on her bed, removed her shoes and undid her hair. Lastly, he pulled the covers up to her shoulders and smoothed her hair back from her face. 'I love you, Sere,' he thought.  
  
He bent down and brushed his lips gently over hers in an achingly slow kiss. He had to force himself to stop lest he wake her up and gazed upon her face once more. The moon spilled in from the windows, highlighting the contours of her face and giving her an ethereal glow. He made his way softly to her door and back to his own room to pack for his trip.  
  
In his haste to get out of Serena's room before he did something he regretted, namely waking her up just to see her eyes gazing into his, he missed hearing the words that would have made his heart soar to the heavens.   
  
"I love you too, Darien," Serena mumbled in her sleep, as if she heard his thoughts, and went back to dreaming of her dark-haired prince charming and their future together, "with all my heart."  
  
**************************************************************  
  
Don't you just hate me? Reviews please! 


	7. Birthday Surprises

So...I'm guessing by the way the review count shot up within one hour of my posting the last chapter that you all liked it. Thank you all for the kind reviews and for patiently waiting over the weekend until I had written the last chapter. If y'all hadn't guessed, I write these chapters one at a time-which usually takes up the whole day-before I post it. Just a little warning about this chapter, though. Serena is about to reveal more about her troubled life as a child and it's not pretty. Viewer discretion is advised.  
  
************************************************************************  
  
Wounded Souls  
  
Chapter Six-Birthday Surprise  
  
By: crystal rose  
  
June 4, 2002  
  
******************************  
  
Flashback  
  
"Good afternoon, Dr. Eisner," Serena said politely as she sat down on the couch facing the doctor.  
  
"How are things going with Darien? Have you told him how you feel yet?" asked Dr. Eisner as he pressed the 'Record' button on the tape recorder.  
  
"No...he's been away for about two weeks on business. I was going to tell him that I loved him at a party we attended but then he got this phone call from the office saying that they needed him to go over there. In a way, I'm kind of glad that I didn't tell him; who knows how he would react? What if he didn't feel the same? I don't think I'd be able to live in the same house as him, as well as do my job to the best of my abilities if I knew he was just around the corner. I think it's best if I don't say anything, at least for the moment. That way, things won't get so awkward if he doesn't return my feelings," said Serena firmly, as if she had rehearsed this speech out many times before.  
  
"But what if he does feel the same? Don't you think you owe it to yourselves to find out?" asked Dr. Eisner.  
  
"I wouldn't be surprised if he rejected me. I would reject me if I could," whispered Serena to herself.  
  
"I think you already have. Why do you feel that you have to keep paying for your mistakes, Serena? Everybody deserves a second chance, or a third, or in some cases, even a fourth. Everyone deserves to have happiness in his or her life, and that includes love. Why do you have it in your head that you have to live a miserable life to atone for your sins?" asked Dr. Eisner, searching her eyes with his. What he saw was pain and humiliation masked under the usually happy façade that she maintains for the benefit of her friends and loved ones.   
  
"Because he told me to."  
  
"Who Serena?" Serena stared blankly at the wall, unaware of Dr. Eisner's question.  
  
"He told me that I'll always be a little slut and that no man would ever want me because of the things that I've done with him. He told me that I'd never be able to wash off the dirt my sins have stained me with," she continued monotonously. Dr. Eisner felt that it would be best for Serena if she talked uninterrupted so he let her carry on. "He told me that...he told me that all I'm good for is whoring around because fucking is what I do best. Men would just use me for my body and then go home to their wives or girlfriends."  
  
When Serena said no more after that, Dr. Eisner once again broached his question carefully. "Who would say such a thing, Serena?"  
  
"Jake Cassidy," she replied, her voice cracking on the last syllable.  
  
"Who's Jake?"  
  
"He was my father's friend. I met him when I was eight years old."  
  
Things were beginning to fall into place in Dr. Eisner's mind. In his notes, he scribbled three words: 'Possible child abuse?' He needed to confirm his suspicions. "What did he do to you, Serena?"  
  
Serena shivered, her mind going back to that day when her father introduced his best friend in university to his whole family. She remembered how he shook her hand kindly before moving on to her brother and mother. Serena remembered him kissing her mother's hand when her father introduced them, and the anger she felt directed at him for doing something like that in front of her father. "He was very nice, at first. Daddy and he would always watch the game in our house and they would play poker every week in our kitchen with some of Daddy's other friends..."  
  
Dr. Eisner braced himself for what she was finally about to reveal. If he was right, the demons of Serena's past were more horrible than he ever imagined. He watched Serena on the couch, wrapping her arms around her legs in a protective cocoon, her eyes brimming with tears. He felt helpless, his human side demanding him to comfort her while his professional side dictated that he remain in his seat and let her finish.   
  
"One night, when daddy and his friends were playing poker at our house, Jake told everybody that he was going outside for a smoke and then went into my room while I was asleep. I woke up and saw Jake sitting on my bed with his hand...down there. I started crying but he put his other hand on my mouth and told me not to say anything to my parents or he would do the same thing to my mommy, only worse. He would make her have his baby and then my daddy would leave us and he would become my new daddy. I was so scared that daddy would leave our family that I just let him touch me like that for another ten minutes. It felt like a hundred years before he got up and left," Serena said, tears falling from her eyes. She suddenly felt the same vulnerability she always felt when Jake's name was spoken.  
  
Dr. Eisner felt his stomach heave. There was nothing worse than hearing about a child being sexually abused. His heart broke to see Serena with her face buried in her knees as she cried. "How...how old were you when this happened?"  
  
"I was about eight and a half."  
  
Dr. Eisner stiffened, trying to conceal his anger and disgust that a person from his gender could do this to an eight-year old child. "Did this happen again?"  
  
Serena sniffled. "Many times. He would come in my room every time they had poker night. Sometimes I would pretend to be asleep, thinking that he would leave me alone, but it always seemed worse that way. Jake didn't like it if I didn't watch him doing that to me so he would hurt me until I cried out in pain. Then, he would make me to it to him with my mouth, saying if I didn't, my mommy would be next.   
  
"This kept happening every week. I grew pale and thin, until my daddy decided to sign me up for riding lessons, saying that the fresh air would do me good. He would come and watch me ride and then he would tell me how proud he was of me. I was so tempted to tell him what Jake was doing, but I didn't want to ruin his opinion of me. I thought that he would be disgusted with me, and then our father-daughter days would end and he would leave. So I kept it all in, never letting on that Jake was touching me.   
  
"One night, I decided to be brave and hid a knife under my pillow. When Jake came and removed my nightgown, I took out the knife and threatened to hurt him if he continued with his actions. He started laughing and wrestled the knife away from me easily. Jake put it to my throat while he began to hurt me with his teeth, as a punishment for trying to rebel against him. That night was the longest and most painful one so far and when he was finished, he told me that if I ever try anything like that again, he would rape my mommy in front of daddy. He reached inside his pocket and took something out of it and gave it to me. It was one of my mother's panties from her drawer. He told me that if he could get that from my mom's room, imagine what else he could get. From then on, I learned to just give Jake what he wanted without putting up a fight," Serena finished.  
  
"Did he ever...?" Dr. Eisner trailed off, unsure of how to ask his next question.  
  
"Did he ever what, rape me?" Serena laughed bitterly. "I lost my virginity to him when I was eleven years old; I didn't even know what virgin meant at that time. Our family had a barbecue at the park and invited him along. I tried to stay away from him the whole day but the time came when I had to go to the washroom. My mom took me there but Jake came a minute later and told her that dad needed help with the food so she went back. Jake went inside the washroom, made sure that no one else was in there, and locked the door. I started crying for some reason; I think it was because he was going to hurt me in the daytime instead of at night. I guess I thought that if he did it to me in the light of day, it's more real than in the shadows of night. At night, everything I endured would be just some horrible nightmare that would go away when the sun came up over the horizon. He advanced on me slowly and lifted me up against the wall. Then he started raping me until I passed out from the pain and fright. When I woke up, he spat on me and told me that I was just another slut now that the only thing I had of value was gone. When we got back to the picnic site, he made sure I was looking at him before he gave my mother a hug and thanked her for inviting a bachelor like him. Mom laughed and said he was welcome anytime.   
  
"After that day, he would find any excuse to be alone with me, including volunteering to chaperone our class field trips and doing odd jobs around our house. He would chaperone Sammy's activities too, so our parents won't get suspicious as to why he was lavishing all that attention on me. Every time he raped me, he would tell me it was my fault for tempting him into doing those things to me. He told me that I was a dirty, filthy bitch who deserved nothing but laying on my back with my legs spread open, pleasing men all day long. Bitches like me don't find men and get married, they become whores that men cast aside after they've cum. He told me that he was just giving me an early start to what I would eventually become," Serena said, clenching her hands into fists.  
  
"Did he ever stop hurting you?"  
  
"When I turned twelve, Jake was transferred to another town four hours away. Life went somewhat back to normal for me when he was gone," Serena replied.  
  
"Did you ever tell anyone what happened to you?"  
  
Serena shook her head. "Why should I rehash those four horrible years? I went to high school, met my friends Amy and Raye and became normal again. Pretty soon, I met my first boyfriend, James King. I believe I told you about him. When he told me that he loved me after going out for two months, I thought 'see Serena, Jake was wrong. Just because he did those awful things to you, doesn't mean nobody else is going to love you.' Then he started pressuring me to have sex with him and I gave in because I wanted to 'show' Jake that he was wrong. It hurt so badly to find out that he was right all along," she said quietly. Serena took a deep breath and let it out slowly.  
  
"When I was about fifteen, my dad announced that Jake was moving back to town and that we were all going over there to his house on the weekend to welcome him back. I begged him not to take me but he refused, saying that it would be rude of me not to show up with the rest of the family. We got into a fight and I stormed up the stairs, slamming the door. I lived in fear for that whole week, my dad and I giving each other the silent treatment.   
  
"When Saturday rolled around, I tried one more time to convince my father not to let me go. I asked him to come into my room so that we could have a talk. I started crying, telling him all the things that Jake ever did to me. The words just came pouring out, until I was wailing hysterically. To say that dad was livid is an understatement, but he wasn't mad at me like I had thought he would be. He comforted me and told me that I would never have to see Jake Cassidy ever again. Daddy told me that he had somewhere to be, but that when he came back, everything would be taken care of. I nodded my head and fell asleep from exhaustion. I woke up later that night to my mother telling me that my dad and Jake got into a car accident when the car flipped over on the highway and caught fire. She told me that both of them died instantly," Serena cried hard into her hands. This time, Dr. Eisner got up and sat down on the couch beside her. "It's my fault my daddy died!"  
  
"Shh...it's not your fault he died. You did the right thing by telling your father. He loved you so much that he risked his life to make sure you were safe," he comforted. "You did nothing wrong. Jake is the one at fault here, not you. He brainwashed you into believing that all the lies he told you were true so that he could keep doing those awful things to you. You just had the rotten luck of picking the wrong men for you, Serena, but I promise you, not all of us are like that. Have you told anyone else what happened to you?"  
  
Serena nodded. "I fell into depression when I was just out of high school and tried to kill myself by swallowing a bunch of pills. My mother found me unconscious in my room and rushed me to the hospital where they pumped my stomach out. When I woke up, my mom, brother and friends wanted to know what happened to make me want to kill myself so I told them. My mom felt so guilty about what went on right under her nose and that I tried to protect her from Jake by allowing myself to get raped that she went with me to my sessions with Dr. Maxwell. Eventually, the guilt started to ease for her as Mina told her that she wasn't at fault and neither was I. But I just couldn't accept that. I stopped eating until I had lost twenty pounds in two months. Mina decided to put me on anti-depressants and I've been on them ever since. After my suicide attempt, my family and friends have grown more supportive of me. I couldn't imagine where I'd be without them."  
  
"Don't you see, Serena? You have so many people telling you that they love you and want to see you happy. Why do you let Jake keep hurting you? He's dead and burning in hell for what he's done. Live your life to the fullest; it's what your father wanted for you when he was in that car with Jake that night. He wanted to take on your burdens so you wouldn't have to and he's done that. Don't let your father's brave actions go in vain, Serena," Dr. Eisner urged.  
  
"You're right, Dr. Eisner. Jake Cassidy has been ruling my life for the past nineteen years-it's time I put a stop to it. I won't let him haunt me from the grave any longer," Serena said firmly, already feeling a great weight lifting from her shoulders.  
  
"So are you willing to let Darien know your feelings for him?"  
  
"I...I don't know yet. It's too soon. I've got to heal first before I tell him, but I will eventually. I deserve a great man like Darien, after all the losers I've been with in my sick attempt to discredit Jake. I just need time to heal, to become the woman I would want him to be with," she replied.  
  
Dr. Eisner smiled. "That's all I ask, Serena. Don't sell yourself short."  
  
"I won't. Not anymore."  
  
End flashback  
  
That was two days ago and Serena was still getting used to her newfound freedom. When she got back home, she called her mother on the phone and had a long, tearful conversation with her, telling her that she was through living a life of guilt and oppression. Her mother expressed her joy and wished her well and told her that her father would be very proud of her were he still alive.   
  
Serena reflected, as she drove back to the Shields estate after running an errand, on how much she missed over the years because hermetic lifestyle. 'Maybe I've been saving myself for Darien all these years and didn't know it.' She pulled into the driveway leading to the Shields house and parked Darien's car in the garage. 'I really miss Darien. God I hope he comes back soon. Nothing's been the same since he's been gone.' She opened the door of the house. "Molly?" she called out and listened for a response. "Hello? Anybody home? Candace? Mr. Shields?" She walked into the dark foyer and turned the lights on. She walked around the massive house, expecting to run into somebody but found no one. 'Where is everyone? I guess no one's home. How strange.' Serena walked into the dark family and turned on the light.  
  
"SURPRISE!"  
  
Surprise wasn't the word to describe Serena's reaction. "AUGGHH!" she screamed and dove to the floor, expecting a bomb to hit her in the face. When nothing happened, she peeked her face out from under her arms and opened one eye. She saw the Candace and Walter, who was having a hard time keeping a straight face, and the entire staff who worked there. Serena got up on shaky legs and brushed herself off. "What's going on?"  
  
"I'm sorry Serena dear. We just wanted to surprise you on your twenty-seventh birthday," Candace explained apologetically. "Are you all right?"  
  
"Yeah girlie. You sure took quite a hit there," Walter chuckled unrepentantly.  
  
Serena drew a shaky breath and smiled. "You remembered?"  
  
"Of course we remembered girlie. How could we forget that rousing little conversation we had two days after you arrived?" Walter said. "I thought you'd never get to the point."  
  
"Oh thank you everyone!" Serena rushed into Mr. Shields' arms, startling him, and felt him patting her on the back awkwardly, but gently. She then hugged Candace and the rest of the people in the room, including Melvin the butler, who had developed a small crush on her.   
  
"What about me?" a deep voice asked from behind her. Serena turned around, unsure if she was dreaming or not. She saw Darien standing by the door with a smile upon his face. She released Lita and ran to him, her eyes sparkling with happiness.  
  
"Darien, you're back!" she cried as she jumped into his arms. The others watched with fascination as Darien drew her closer to him, burying his face in her hair. Serena rose on her tiptoes and wrapped her arms around his neck. "I really missed you," she whispered in his ear. "Don't ever leave me without saying goodbye first."  
  
Darien's heart hammered in his throat as he felt her breath tickle his ear. "I'm sorry, but you were sleeping so peacefully that I didn't have the heart to wake you up. I really missed you too," he whispered back. "Happy birthday, Sere."  
  
"Thank you Darien. I'm so glad you're back." Serena reluctantly stepped out of his hold and stared at his face. They continued to stare and smile at each other until they heard a cough coming from the room.  
  
"Um...hello? I thought this was a party, not a staring contest," Walter said, earning him a poke in the ribs from Candace. "What? What'd I say?"  
  
"There's a special reason I came back today, Sere. I have a surprise for you. Close your eyes," Darien said.   
  
"You didn't need to go through any trouble for me, Darien," she protested but obeyed. Serena could hear people moving around her excitedly. "What, did you get me a stripper, Darien?" she joked.  
  
"Humph, you wish," a familiar voice said. Serena gasped in recognition and opened her eyes.   
  
"SAMMY!" she cried. She saw her brother standing in front of her with a wry look upon his face, but her eyes widened even more when she realized who was standing next to him. "MOM!" Serena flung herself at her mother and brother and wrapped her arms around both of them. "How did you get here? When did you get here?"  
  
Ilene Mathis smiled at her daughter. "You have Mr. Shields to thank for that."  
  
Serena turned to Walter and engulfed him in a hug. "Oh, thank you Mr. Shields!"  
  
"Easy, girlie! She didn't mean me, she meant the boy! Unhand me at once!" Walter bellowed, but all the while hugging her back.  
  
"Darien? How?" she asked, her head spinning as she reached a shaky hand towards Darien, which he happily took.  
  
Darien smiled and led her to a chair, upon which she gratefully sat down. "Well, when I was in Japan, I realized that your birthday was coming up so I wrapped business up early and got on the jet back to America. Halfway there, I realized that you would probably appreciate a visit from your family so I called up your mother and asked her if she and Sammy would like to come over for a visit. I told her that I would pick them up from their house and take them to LA on the jet. Then I called mom and made arrangements to have the party set up by the time we arrived. And you're right Serena, Sammy is _definitely_ a Sammy."  
  
"You remembered?" she asked so softly that only he would hear.  
  
"Of course, I remember everything you say," he replied just as softly.  
  
"Oh god, you told them your theory about names having more than one syllable, Meatball Brains? You should write a dissertation on that subject since you talk about it so often," Sammy said, rolling his eyes.  
  
"I see that wasn't the first time girlie has tried to explain the difference between Sam and Sammy," Walter said sarcastically.  
  
Sammy snorted. "I wish. Has she talked about how she got her name?"  
  
"Which one, Serenity or Serena, because she's told us both versions," Walter replied, glad to have found something in common with the young lad. Sammy and Walter both threw their heads up to the ceiling and rolled their eyes heavenward.   
  
Serena turned to Darien, a frown directed at her brother. "Thanks for bringing my mom here but did you really have to bring the spore, too? Couldn't you have just dropped him somewhere between the prairies and the Rockies?"  
  
Darien grinned lopsidedly. "Believe me, we tried but he wouldn't let go of his seat. Don't worry, I plan on ditching him when we go to Disneyland tomorrow," he said, fanning out six passes and waving them in her astonished face. "I know you've always wanted to go but didn't have anyone to go with. Tomorrow, the Shields and Mathis families will set forth to Disneyland."  
  
Serena jumped out of her seat and tackled Darien to the ground. She lay sprawled over top of him, hugging him like there was no tomorrow. "THANK YOU SO MUCH, DARIEN!"  
  
"Geez Meatball Brains, for a recently-turned twenty-seven year old, you sure don't act like it," Sammy smirked, crossing his arms over his chest and looking down upon his sister, who was straddling a love-sick Darien on the floor. Despite his snide comments, Sammy couldn't be more proud of his sister for finally getting on with her life. It wasn't just a few months ago that she wouldn't even talk to a man for more than was necessary, much less straddle one.  
  
"Quiet, spore. I'll have you know that I _still_ have a certain picture of a certain dweeb of a brother in a ballet costume when he was in twelfth grade. Don't make me bust it out and tell _everybody_ the story of why you were dressed that way, of your own volition, might I add," Serena warned threateningly from her spot on the floor beside Darien.  
  
Sammy paled and held out his hands. "All right, all right, you win. I swear to God, if I _ever_ find that picture, I'm going to make your life a living nightmare."  
  
"MOM! Tell Sammy to stop bothering me!" Serena whined.  
  
"WHAT?! Serena started it!"   
  
"No I didn't!"  
  
"Yes, you did!"  
  
"NO!"  
  
"YES!"  
  
"Why you little-"  
  
"SERENITY BEULAH AND SAM WINSTON MATHIS! STOP THIS AT ONCE!" yelled Ilene, pinching the bridge of her nose with her thumb and forefinger.  
  
"Sorry mom," the Mathis kids apologized meekly, glaring angrily at each other.  
  
Without warning, Walter started laughing uncontrollably. "What?" Serena asked testily.  
  
"It seems that the boy over here isn't the only one stuck with a bad middle name eh...Beulah?" Walter asked. "You seem that part of the story was left out, girlie. Who ever thought I'd live to see the day a Beulah and a Beauford were in the same room together?"  
  
Serena crossed her arms angrily over her chest and scowled as everyone else in the room laughed at her expense. "Some birthday this turned out to be. The spore was accidentally let over the border and now everyone knows my middle name," she muttered to herself. She felt a comforting hand on her shoulder and turned to see that Darien had draped an arm over her.  
  
"Don't worry, Sere. You're not alone in this. I have a crappy middle name too," he whispered in her ear.  
  
Serena smiled softly and rested her head on his shoulder. "You're right; I'm not alone."  
  
Just then, Lita burst into the room with a huge cake and twenty-seven blazing candles on it. "Happy birthday to you..." she sang, encouraging everyone else to sing along with her. The lights dimmed and all everyone could see was the candlelit cake and Serena face hovering closely above it. What they didn't see was Darien standing behind her with a hand upon her waist. "Make a wish, Serena," Lita urged when the singing stopped.  
  
'I wish that Darien would love me the way I love him,' Serena wished as she blew out the candles in one breath. The lights turned back on and Darien's arm disappeared from her waist and back to his side, his fingers lightly brushing hers as Serena moved closer to him. "How did you know that strawberry shortcake is my favourite, Lita?"  
  
Lita smiled. "You're going to have to ask Darien that."  
  
Serena turned large eyes upon the man who was springing so many surprises on her that day. "How did you know?"  
  
"Remember that day we went to Luigi's Bistro? You ordered the strawberry shortcake and told me that it was your favourite," he replied.  
  
Candace and Ilene exchanged knowing smiles. 'Looks like I'll soon have the daughter I've always wanted,' thought Candace to herself. 'I couldn't be happier that Darien's chosen Serena. She's the best thing that's ever happened to him.'  
  
'He's the best thing that's ever happened to her ever since that bastard Jake stole her innocence. I've never seen my sweet little Sere blossom like she does when Darien is around,' thought Ilene as she watched Darien and Serena giggling on the couch and playfully teasing each other with whipped cream.  
  
"Oh, I almost forgot," Darien said. He stood up and got a gift-wrapped package from the end table drawer. "Here's your present, Sere."  
  
"Darien, you shouldn't have. You've already given me so much today: bringing my mother and the spore here, the party, the Disneyland passes..." 'you coming back,' she added silently. "I don't know if I'll ever be able to thank you."  
  
"Just being here...helping my father, is thanks enough for me," he replied, silently thinking, 'having you in my life is thanks enough for me.'  
  
Serena carefully tore open the silver wrapping paper to reveal a large black velvet box with the words 'Osa-P Tokyo, Japan' in gold lettering. With shaking hands, Serena lifted up the lid and peered inside. "Oh Darien..." she breathed in disbelief.  
  
"I...was just passing by the store window and saw it on display...It reminded me of you..." Darien explained shakily.  
  
"Well girlie, what is it?" an overly curious Walter demanded.  
  
Serena turned the box around to show everybody who had been dying to ask about the contents but lacked Walter's nerve. Inside, nestled in a pillow of tulle was a beautiful pearl and diamond tiara. Everyone gasped, while Molly and her fellow maids sighed dreamily. Darien was watching Serena's stunned face closely. "Do you like it?" he asked nervously.  
  
Serena smiled, small tears coursing down her cheeks. "I love it Darien," she said simply. 'And I love you.' She wiped the tears away with her hand. "You shouldn't have. It's too much."  
  
'Nothing's ever too much for you, Sere,' Darien thought. Aloud, he said, "I just thought it was the perfect touch to that dress Trista gave you. What's a princess dress without a tiara?"  
  
Everyone smiled, each one privately speculating on the _real_ reason Darien got her the tiara. Serena continued to admire her new tiara, fingering it gently to make sure it was still there. Lita cleared her throat. "Dang Darien. If I had known you liked to give such kick-ass birthday gifts, I would have told you my birthday was May 6th." (AN: Sorry, I only know Serena and Darien's b-days so I made Lita's up.) Everyone started laughing as Darien blushed furiously at Lita's comment. Sammy raised his eyebrow at Darien and crossed his arms warily on his chest, choosing not to say anything...for now. 'If he hurts her like Jake and those bastards did, I will kick his ass so hard, my foot comes out of his mouth. I failed to protect her before, I won't do it now.'  
  
To her mother and brother's shock, not to mention Darien, Serena leaned over and kissed Darien's cheek softly. "I'll treasure it always," she whispered before pulling away.  
  
*************************************  
  
"So what do you feel about Darien, Serena?" Ilene asked her daughter later that evening as they stood on her balcony.   
  
"Shh, mother...his balcony's next to mine. He could hear you," she cautioned. Serena turned and walked back inside to her room with her mother at her heels. She closed the doors and sat down on an armchair in front of the fireplace with Ilene once again following suit in another armchair.  
  
"Well?" she questioned.  
  
"I love him, mama," Serena answered simply.  
  
"That's wonderful, Serena!" her mother exclaimed, happy to finally hear her daughter admit feelings for a man. "Darien's a fine man."  
  
"He doesn't know about my past," Serena replied, staring at the dark fireplace intently. "I don't know if I'll ever be able to tell him."  
  
"Oh Serena, my little girl. I blame myself for not protecting you better from that monster. I should have known what Jake was doing to you..." Ilene trailed off, tears spilling from her eyes.  
  
"No mama...it wasn't your fault. It was nobody's fault except for Jakes'. I've learned to see that now and to stop blaming myself," Serena comforted softly, not taking her eyes off the fireplace.  
  
"I invited him to that picnic! I left you alone with him when you went to the washroom! It's all my fault!" Ilene sobbed.  
  
"Do you blame Daddy for introducing him to us? Do you blame Daddy for having him over for poker nights?" Serena asked, taking her mother's hands in hers.  
  
"It's my job as a mother to know what's wrong with her children. That...monster molested you in our own house and I was none the wiser. He used me to get to you. Oh Sere, can you ever forgive me?"  
  
"Forgive you? For what? You did nothing wrong. I made my choice when I decided to protect you from him. If I had to make that choice again, I wouldn't change a thing," Serena explained.  
  
"Don't you see? It's not the child's duty to protect her mother from harm, it should have been the other way around. It should have been me," she cried.  
  
"It shouldn't have been anybody," Serena replied firmly. "Let's forget him from now on, mama. Jake is nothing to me now. Today is a brand new start in my life. No longer will I live in fear because of what the man has done to me in the past."  
  
"I'm so proud of you Sere. All that you've accomplished despite what you've gone through is awe-inspiring. Don't ever give up, especially when it comes to catching your prince," Ilene said, kissing Serena on the forehead. "I'm sure Darien will understand if he's every bit the man I think he is. You should tell him how you feel and about your past when you're ready."  
  
"When I'm ready," she repeated as she watched her mom head out the door and into her own room down the hall. "Oh Darien, I love you so much it hurts. Thank you for bringing my mom here today. I needed her here with me more than I thought I would," she said as she turned off the lights and turned in for the night, secure in the fact that her prince was just a room away to save her from the demons that had been haunting her for the past nineteen years.   
  
*******************************************************************  
  
That's it, I can't write anymore for today! Kindly leave your reviews. I'm sorry for the seriousness and the graphic nature of this chapter, but just know that I don't condone child abuse in any way. I think it's the sickest thing an adult-or anyone for that matter-could ever do to a child. Please, if you or someone you know is going through this, tell somebody you trust. No one should have to go through this horrible thing on his or her own. I was going to make this chapter longer but I'm getting tired of typing and besides, I'll probably leave another chapter up tomorrow so no biggie, right? 


	8. Identities Revealedand Concealed

Hi everyone, sorry for not updating yesterday but I just couldn't bring myself to start writing. But fear not my friends, on the days I'm not writing, I'm coming up with the summary for the upcoming chapter so yesterday did not go to waste-unless you happen to be one of those sensible people who actually have jobs and make money and think writing fanfics are a complete waste of time. But luckily for me, or unluckily, depending on the person I'm talking to (mom), I LOVE to "waste" my time writing stories. Well anyway, this chapter may get a little confusing because there's a lot of flashbacks covering the time _after_ Serena's party. It may seem a little bit rushed but I didn't want to write more chapters just to cover the time between the party and...well, you'll see.   
  
BTW, thank you Sara for your apology and let me just issue one of my own. I'm sorry for biting your head off in the email I sent you but I couldn't help getting defensive when I read your comment because it _did_ sound like you were telling everyone that I write my own reviews, which I don't. But anyway, it's over, let's move on. Forgive and forget, right? Happy reading folks, and I hope you don't hate me for what happens in this chapter.  
  
************************************************************************  
  
Wounded Souls  
  
Chapter Seven-Identities Revealed...and Concealed  
  
By: crystal rose  
  
*****************************************  
  
Dr. Eisner sat in his chair wondering what had happened to the small, huddled figure on his couch since the last time he had seen her almost three weeks ago when she told him about being molested as a child. He watched Serena burrow herself into the corner of the couch even further, trembling uncontrollably, as if trying to hide from the world like a scared rabbit. 'What could have turned the confident woman who walked out of my office three weeks ago into this?' he thought to himself. Dr. Eisner had gone on vacation with his girlfriend to Jamaica the day after he last spoke to Serena. He had only been back a few days since his two-week trip when Serena called his office, begging his receptionist to squeeze her in for an emergency appointment. Unfortunately, he was very busy trying to catch up to all the work he missed that he was only able to see her a week later.  
  
"Serena, what happened?" he asked gently so as not to scare her off.  
  
Serena snapped her head up at the sound of his voice, almost surprised that he was sitting there in front of her. "He hurt me," she whispered brokenly. "He promised me he wouldn't hurt me but he did."  
  
"Who, Jake?" he asked. She shook her head, wiping away the tears that had fallen down her face.  
  
"No, Darien. He hurt me."  
  
"What did he do? Did he tell you that he didn't feel the same way you felt about him?" Dr. Eisner asked.  
  
"Worse, he told me that he loved me, but then I found out that it was all just a lie to get me to sleep with him," she said as she stared blankly out the window.  
  
Dr. Eisner was rightfully confused (as I'm sure you all are). 'If he told her he loved her, why would she think it was all just an act?' "Why don't you tell me what happened since the last time I saw you?"  
  
Serena took a deep breath and closed her eyes, thinking back to the party and the lovely time she had with her family and Darien. She told Dr. Eisner about Darien surprising her by flying her mother and brother out just to see her, and the beautiful tiara he had gotten her from Japan.   
  
"Did he hurt you right after that?" Dr. Eisner asked when she paused to take a breath.  
  
"No. Those next few days were wonderful. He took our families to Disneyland and we had a wonderful time..."  
  
~~*Flashback*~~  
  
"Ooh, I'm soooo excited!" Serena squealed happily as they walked through the gates pushing Walter in his wheelchair. "I hope we get to see Donald Duck, he's my favourite. I hope I get to take a picture with him!"  
  
Sammy rolled his eyes. "You can't even understand anything he says, dummy! Everyone knows Mickey is the man. He runs this entire operation. Without him, Disney wouldn't have a leg to stand on. Mickey's face is the money-maker."  
  
Serena snorted contemptuously. "Dream on, you miserable puddle of a homeless man's urine (AN: got that from South Park). Donald is the unsung hero of the Disney franchise. Mickey is nothing but a goody-goody wanna be human. Everything always works out for him in the end while Donald has to work for everything he's accomplished, plus he has to take care of those three bratty nephews of his. At least we know that Donald's a sailor. What does Mickey do for a living, I ask. All he ever does is moon over that scank of a mouse Minnie."  
  
Having no comeback for Serena's comment, Sammy decided to change the subject. "Have you ever noticed that Goofy and Pluto are dogs but only one of them can talk? And that Goofy is the only fully-clothed male out of all the Disney animals?"  
  
Serena laughed. "I know what you're trying to do, squirt. But yeah, I've noticed. Have you also noticed that there are other animals in their cartoons but only _they_ can speak? I've always found that a bit disconcerting."  
  
"No, what's really disconcerting is seeing Mickey owning a dog. How is that even possible?" Sammy asked.  
  
Darien turned to Ilene and raised his eyebrow. "They _do_ know that it's just a cartoon, right? It's all just make believe?" he asked softly.  
  
Ilene laughed, getting the attention of everyone around her. "You haven't been around these two long enough, Darien. They've had hour-long discussions on the over-usage of the name 'Jack' in fairy tales and nursery rhymes."  
  
"It's true," Serena protested, trying to stop Darien from laughing. "There's Jack-and-the-beanstalk, Jack and Jill..."  
  
"Don't forget Little Jack Horner," Sammy added.  
  
Walter turned around in his wheelchair to face Ilene. "You're a brave and noble woman, Ilene," he said, shaking his head seriously. "You are of a dying race."  
  
Ilene smiled fondly at her two grown children. "Yeah, but they do come up with surprisingly good arguments sometimes..."  
  
Just then, a squeal of delight erupted from Serena. "Hey guys, let's go on that one!" she cried, pointing at the Dumbo ride. She turned to Darien and fluttered her eyelashes. "Please?"   
  
'Who can say no to that?' Darien thought as he nodded his head absentmindedly, eliciting another squeal from Serena. "Let's go!"  
  
Using the Fast Pass they had gotten at the information booth when they went to get a wheelchair for Walter, the entire group bypassed the _obscenely_ long line up and were on the ride in less than five minutes. (AN: getting a Fast Pass is a lifesaver. It allows people who have disabilities to use the exit to board the rides before the other passengers. The ride attendants couldn't care less what your excuse is either. My cousin-in-law told the guy at the info booth that I needed a fast pass because I had an ingrown toenail and couldn't stand for long periods of time, which was SO NOT TRUE. Just a little tip to stick it to the man, I guess.)   
  
Sammy and Ilene boarded one elephant, Walter and Candace another, leaving Darien and Serena alone, not that they minded at all. When the ride started, Serena exhaled nervously. "Don't tell me you're scared of a little kiddie ride, Sere. It was your idea to ride this one in the first place," Darien teased.  
  
Serena scrunched up her nose at him. "_No_ I am not scared, Darien. I just get little butterflies in my stomach every time a ride starts, no matter how unscary. I guess it's just the anticipation."  
  
"Yeah right, 'anticipation.' You're just a scaredy-cat," Darien taunted, tapping her nose with his finger. They both laughed as Sammy used the controls to make the elephant go up and down, despite Ilene's loud protests.   
  
"Sammy! Stop that right now! I'm getting nauseous!" screamed Ilene.  
  
~~*End flashback*~~  
  
"Sounds like you had a great day," Dr. Eisner commented.  
  
"I did. It was one of the best days of my life, and I have so few of those. Darien and I went on all the rides together, and he held my hand when I got scared on the roller coasters. It seemed as if our families became one that day. Sammy and Mr....Potts got along famously because they teased me relentlessly. Our mothers had that look in their eyes like they had a secret but weren't allowed to tell. I think that was the day I started to really believe that Darien and I could be together after all," Serena said musingly.  
  
"So how was the rest of your family's visit?" asked Dr. Eisner.  
  
"It was wonderful. Darien had taken a week off from work so that he could show them around with me. He took us around LA, showing us the sights, for even though I'd been living here for a couple of months, I hadn't really taken the time to tour. We even joined one of those cheesy 'Star Tours' and saw where all the celebrities lived," Serena said, remembering how her mother had taken three rolls of film with her in hopes of capturing a movie star at his or her shabbiest and flaunting it to her friends back home.   
  
"Sounds like Darien would do just about anything for you," he replied.  
  
Serena snickered, her eyes flashing with angry tears. "You'd think so, huh? Well anyway, on July 4th, Mrs. Potts had a barbecue in the back of their house with Darien manning the grill..."  
  
~~*Flashback*~~  
  
"Darien, are you _sure_ you want to do the barbecuing? Wouldn't you rather I do it instead?" a nervous looking Lita asked.  
  
Darien laughed and flipped over a burger. "For the last time, Lita, I said no! Who is wielding the spatula, you or me? That's right. Your jurisdiction is in the kitchen; you are powerless out here. The barbecue is my domain and nobody, and I mean nobody, touches the grill except for my capable hands."  
  
Lita winced as she watched Darien flip over a burger too soon in her opinion. "Really Darien, I don't mind..."  
  
"LITA! Don't you have a boyfriend you have to meet?" Darien asked exasperatedly. "It _is_ your day off, you know. Go out, have fun, and most importantly, stop bugging the hell out of me!"  
  
"Well, I _do_ have a date with Nathan. We're having dinner at his parents' home," she replied. Suddenly, a ghastly thought made its way to her mind, one that she had never thought about before. "What if I make a bad first impression on his parents?"  
  
Darien smiled. "Don't worry so much, Lita. As long as you don't insult Nathan's mother's cooking, you'll be fine. Now, get out of here and get ready."  
  
Lita gasped in horror. "Oh my god, I didn't even think about that! What if she's a really crappy cook and she asks me what I think of her food? I can't lie...can I?"   
  
"Chill out Lita," said Serena as she came up to the grill to sample a little bit of food. "OUCH!" she yelped when Darien smacked her hand away playfully with the spatula. Serena rubbed her hand tenderly and glared at Darien before focusing her attention on Lita. "What harm could a little white lie do if you're trying to spare the woman's feelings? There's no rule that says you have to be so honest."  
  
Lita paid no heed to Serena's words as she walked back into the house. "Hello Mr. and Mrs. Williams. How very nice to meet you...How do you do, Mrs. Williams?...Your home is very lovely and your son is great in bed-NO! Don't say that! Should I shake their hands or hug them? Maybe I should curtsy...nah, too over the top."  
  
Darien and Serena looked at each other and started laughing. "I take it this is the first time she's meeting the parents?" she asked wryly.  
  
"I don't know what she's so nervous about. She's been out with a ton of guys before and have met their parents. I don't see why this Nathan is any different," said Darien.  
  
"Perhaps she's finally found the one she wants to spend the rest of her life with," Serena reflected.  
  
"How about you? Were you ever nervous about meeting your old boyfriends' parents?" Darien asked.  
  
Serena blushed and looked down. "The boys I went out with weren't special enough for me to go through the trouble of meeting their parents. Besides, my 'relationships' never lasted long enough for either of us to meet each other's parents."  
  
Darien wondered over this as he silently flipped over the burgers. He shrugged to himself and turned back to the grill. "Okay everyone, dinner is served!" he announced.  
  
Everyone rushed forth, plates in hand and appetites whetted. There was food for all, including corn on the cob, potato salad, burgers and hot dogs, and the apple pie that Serena had begged her mom to make, despite Lita's protests that she could make one for her. Serena pilled on the food, regardless of her brother's teasing and managed to polish off two slices of apple pie a la mode. By the time they were done with their feast, Walter had unbuttoned the top of his pants rather impolitely in Candace's opinion, Darien was having difficulty breathing and Sammy was almost retching in his seat. Even Candace and Ilene were looking a little green around the gills. The only one who managed to escape indigestion unscathed was Serena, who was used to consuming enormous amounts of food on a daily basis. Darien looked at her in amazement, wondering how she could be calmly sitting in her chair when everybody else was dropping like flies. Serena felt eyes boring into her forehead and looked up to see Darien staring at her. "What?" she asked innocently.  
  
He smirked and shook his head. "Nothing, just wondering how come you're not chugging the Pepto Bismol when you ate more than all of us put together, that's all."  
  
Serena scoffed at him. "Rookie. My ironclad stomach is the product of many years of hard work, practice and stamina. Not many people can achieve this phenomenal feat but, through sheer will and the support of friends and family, I persevered and prevailed."  
  
Sammy and Walter managed a snort with great difficulty but Serena chose to ignore them. 'If Sammy's not careful, he's going to turn sixty years old before his next birthday.'  
  
"I have a wonderful idea!" exclaimed Candace. "Why don't we go down to the park this evening and watch the fireworks display over by the lake?"  
  
Serena's face lit up. "Fireworks? Sure! I love fireworks!"   
  
Walter groaned and patted his stomach lightly. "I don't know if I can stand up...so full."  
  
Serena stuck out her bottom lip and turned her 'puppy face' towards Walter. "Please, Mr. Shields? It won't be the same without you."  
  
Walter frowned and tried in vain to harden his heart to her pitiful whimpering. "Oh alright, girlie. I'll go, I'll go. Just stop that pitiful noise."  
  
Serena raised her eyebrow at Darien and grinned. "Works every time."  
  
"I'll bet it does," Darien replied, shaking his head and laughing along with her.  
  
**********************************  
  
When night had fallen, the Shields and Mathis families headed to the park and walked to a hill overlooking the lake. Already, numerous families had gathered on the hill, making picking out the perfect spot quite difficult. They finally found one at the very bottom of the hill close to the lake and laid out their blankets. To Serena, it seemed preordained that she and Darien ended up sharing a blanket together-that, or it had Candace and Ilene's doing all along. Of course, neither one of them had minded as they lay down side by side, looking at the stars and waiting for the fireworks show to begin.   
  
They lay in companionable silence, both afraid to break the spell the night had wrought. The breeze blew over the lake, the cool night air causing Serena to shiver in her thin shirt. Darien, who lay beside her with one arm behind his head for support, noticed her trembling and cursed himself for not thinking about bringing a jacket with him. "You cold, Sere?" he asked lightly, trying to control the longing in his voice.  
  
"Kind of," she replied just as lightly, not looking at him.  
  
"Come here," Darien said, stretching out his other arm and beckoning her over to him.  
  
Serena took a deep breath and let it out slowly in an effort to stop the hammering of her heart. She scooted over to him and laid her head on his shoulder, shivering one last time but knowing that it wasn't from the cold. Serena felt Darien's outstretched arm wrap around her and settle on her back, holding her tightly. From his position, Darien could feel Serena's heart beating as she curled her body against his and laid her hand on his chest. Both were silent as the fireworks lit up the night sky, oblivious to the cheers of the crowd around them. Neither noticed their mothers exchanging sly looks from across their blankets.  
  
~~*End flashback*~~  
  
"I don't understand, Serena. From what you've been telling me, you've been making remarkable progress with Darien. What changed?" Dr. Eisner asked.  
  
"Well, when my mom and Sammy left the next day, I had to devote my time to Mr. Potts's rehabilitation and also Amy's wedding, which was on the fifteenth, ten days away. Darien also had some work to make up for he had taken five days off to be with us. His company was also in the midst of a big merger deal, so he was really busy. Between our jobs and other commitments, we hardly saw each other in the days leading up to the wedding. He would come home really late at night, sometimes after I've fallen asleep. On the days where he came home at a reasonably early hour, he'd be so tired, he'd just about collapse on the couch. Sometimes I'd be out late too, helping Amy make arrangements for the wedding and having last-minute fittings," Serena explained.  
  
"So, things had cooled off for you two, I take it?"   
  
"A bit. Those few days had been hectic to say the least. Two days before the wedding, my friend Raye, her husband Justin and their infant daughter Kayla arrived from back home and were staying at Amy's apartment for the next four days, so of course, I had to spend time with them. I guess the merger was taking its toll on Darien because he started to look tired and haggard with heavy bags under his eyes. He was popping Tylenols like they were candy. His mother started to worry about him, but he would just shrug it off, saying that the deal was going to be wrapped up the week after the wedding," Serena said, pausing momentarily to take a sip of water that the doctor had gotten for her at the start of the session.  
  
"I don't know how he did it, but he managed to clear his schedule to attend Zachary's bachelor party the night before the wedding. I kept telling him not to go and get some rest, but he just swallowed four Tylenols and said that he would be back later on in the evening. I remember I couldn't sleep that night...pre-wedding jitters. I know, I know, it's not even my wedding but I wanted Amy's day to go off without a hitch that I kept myself up all night going over everything that could possibly go wrong...."  
  
~~*Flashback*~~  
  
Serena tossed and turned in her bed, unable to sleep. 'Ugh! I've been trying to fall asleep for the past hour and a half but as soon as I feel my eyelids start drooping, a new worry enters my mind.' She glanced at the clock and saw that it was already quarter after midnight. 'I know, I'll go downstairs and warm up some milk. That always knocks me out.' Having made up her mind, Serena slipped her terry robe over her tank top and shorts and made her way to the kitchen silently.   
  
Serena reached the kitchen and opened the fridge door, searching for the milk. She poured some into a saucepan and placed it on the stove. 'I sure hope all those rumours about Lita being a tad overprotective when it comes to her pots and pans aren't true. Oh well, if I'm going to get in trouble with Lita I may as well pull out all the stops and have some cookies too.' She searched the cupboards for the oatmeal raisin cookies she knew Lita had made the day before and found them hidden in the furthest corner of the pantry in a jar marked 'Flour', behind an actual bag of it. 'Lita, Lita, Lita. Did you think your little ruse was enough to stop me? It seems that you have underestimated me, my friend.'  
  
When the milk was warm, she poured it into a glass and set it on the table beside the plate of cookies. 'I wonder where Zach and the guys are. Amy's going to be so pissed if she finds out that they went to a strip club, even after she made him promise not to go to one.'  
  
Suddenly she heard the front door close and heavy footsteps making it's way to the kitchen. Serena pulled her robe tighter around her and made sure it wasn't open. 'I bet it's Darien,' she thought. Sure enough, Darien staggered through the door, having tripped on his own foot. Serena raised her eyebrow and smiled slightly to herself. "Have fun?" she asked.  
  
Darien jumped and whipped his head towards the direction the voice came from. "Geez Serena, don't scare me like that!" he yelped.  
  
Serena chuckled. "How could I have scared you? The lights are on, for goodness' sake." Darien sat down beside her and took the cookie in her hand and ate it. "Hey! I was eating that!"  
  
"Tough," he grunted.  
  
"So where did you guys go?" Serena asked, helping herself to her fourth cookie.  
  
"Bar."  
  
"That's good. If you guys went to a strip club, Amy would've tanned Zach's hide," she replied. "Did you get drunk?"  
  
"Nah, only had three beers," he replied, although his eyes looked a bit glassy in Serena's view. But it was only three beers and Darien was a man who knew how to handle his liquor so Serena dismissed it as fatigue.  
  
"So...are you taking anyone to the wedding tomorrow?" Serena asked casually, her stomach twisting in knots as she waited for his answer.  
  
"No, however there _is_ this one girl I've wanted to ask out for the longest time now but have been too chicken to actually do it," Darien replied. Serena's heart sank as she digested the news.  
  
"I've been in love with her for some time now and I'm pretty sure that she feels the same way as me but I haven't made a move yet. She's the sweetest thing in the world and I love her with all my heart," he continued, not looking at her.  
  
Serena felt tears of hopelessness prick her eyes. She struggled to breathe, to maintain her outward look of calm and poise. "Oh?" was all she could muster at her present state.  
  
Darien smiled at her and looked like he had just come up with a brilliant idea. "I think you know her, Sere. Maybe you could put in a good word for me."  
  
At this, her heart truly sank but she forced herself not to show him. Serena squared her shoulders and sat up straight. "Of course, Darien. What...what's her name?" she asked stoically.  
  
"Oh, you know, she has the most beautiful hair and the perfect eyes-everything about her is virtually perfect. I think about her day and night; I even dream about her. I dream about going out with her, someday getting married and raising kids-"  
  
"WHAT'S... her name, Darien?" Serena interrupted, unable to hear anymore about the woman that had stolen Darien's heart.  
  
"It's the perfect name for her...Serenity, because every time she's near, I feel at peace," he replied.  
  
"That's an unusual name. In fact, the only other person whose name is Serenity is..." Serena trailed off, not wanting to get her hopes up.  
  
"You."  
  
Serena gasped, tears coming to her eyes. 'It's not possible. He couldn't possibly be talking about me,' she thought wildly. Yet there he was, smiling lovingly at her with a look of longing in his eyes. "Darien?" she asked uncertainly. Darien cupped her face in his hands and used his thumbs to wipe her tears away.  
  
"It's you, Sere. It's always been you," he whispered.  
  
"Oh Darien!" she cried, flinging herself into his waiting arms. "Do...do you really mean it?"  
  
"Yes Serena, I really mean it," he responded. Serena could feel him nuzzling his face into her neck.  
  
"Say the words."  
  
"I love you, Serenity Beulah Mathis. Do you feel the same way about me?" he asked.  
  
"Yes, Darien Beauford Shields. I've loved you from the moment we met," she whispered, turning her face towards his and looking into his eyes, hazy with emotion. He leaned his face closer and captured her lips with his own. They kissed passionately, pouring all their pent up feelings for each other into that kiss. Darien pulled her onto his lap without breaking them apart and ran his tongue over her lips, asking her to let him in. Serena obliged, and soon, felt him exploring her mouth with a gentle finesse borne from experience.   
  
They pulled apart as the need for air became overwhelming. They stared into each other's eyes, their breathing heavy and their lips bruised. Serena felt alive once more, her head whirling with excitement and her body once again responding to a man's touch. Darien ran his thumb across her bottom lip, his other hand stroking her lower back. Serena opened her mouth, pulling his thumb into her mouth with her tongue. Darien moaned as Serena sucked on his thumb, looking at him with hooded eyes. When Darien could take no more, he gently pulled his thumb out and kissed her lips before placing his arm under her knees. Darien stood up with Serena in his arms, holding her close to him. Serena snaked her arms around his neck and played with his hair.   
  
"Darien, where are we going?" she asked.  
  
"To our room," he replied, pushing the door open with his foot and carrying her through the hall.  
  
Serena smiled, touched. 'Our room. It sounds so right.' She buried her face against him, and trailed small kisses from the crook of his neck to his earlobe. She vaguely heard Darien growl. "If you don't stop that Sere, I'm afraid I may not make it to our room," he gasped.  
  
They managed to get to the top of the stairs without incident and were soon at the door to Darien's room. He set her down gently and opened the door. "Are you sure you want to do this, Sere? We don't have to if you're not ready."  
  
Serena reached up to stroke his cheek. "I'm sure, Darien. I've been ready for you for a long time. Make love to me," she said softly.  
  
They entered the room silently, not bothering to turn on the lights as they began to slowly undress each other. Darien untied her robe and let it fall to the floor in a puddle around her feet. Serena began to unbutton his shirt as he slid his hands under her tank top. She moaned as Darien cupped her breasts and began to gently knead them. By this time, Serena had managed to undo all the buttons and Darien had to reluctantly take his hands away so that she could slip it off. He watched with darkened eyes as Serena began to move her hands over his rippled muscles, then putting her hands on the bottom of her tank top and slowly peeling it off, revealing the breasts that he had been fantasizing about ever since she moved in.   
  
"Darien..." she breathed as he leaned in and took her left breast in his mouth. She held him in place firmly with her left hand while the other hand pleasured her right breast. Serena felt Darien's hand sliding down her back and into the waistband of her shorts, before moving down to her bottom and massaging it.   
  
Soon, they had divested each other of the rest of their clothing and were laying on the bed with Darien hovering over her. Serena could feel his throbbing manhood on her thigh and shivered with desire. She looked into his eyes intently, noting that they had turned into a darker shade of blue. "Don't hurt me, Darien," she whispered, a host of other meanings behind her words.   
  
"Never Sere. I would never hurt you," he whispered as he guided himself to her entrance. "I love you, Sere."  
  
"I love you too, Dare," she managed to gasp as he pushed himself in. No other words were said between them as he slowly began to set up a pace. Serena wrapped her legs around his waist and met him as he thrust into her, forcing him in deeper. Soon, Darien could feel her walls tightening and knew that it wouldn't be long before her release.  
  
"Oh...Darien. Ugh, so good," she gasped. Then with a low moan she orgasmed, pulling Darien over the edge with her. He fell forward on his elbows to avoid crushing her with his weight, and felt his seed spilling forth into her. He gently pulled out and rolled over next to her, pulling the blanket over them and wrapping a possessive arm around her waist.   
  
"I love you, Serena," he whispered into her ear as he fell asleep. Serena murmured in reply, cuddling up to him for warmth and falling asleep.  
  
***********************************  
  
Serena woke up early the next morning and once again experienced that same, disoriented feeling she got when she first arrived. For a second, she didn't know where she was but one look at her waist reminded her of the night before. 'Did I really just make love to Darien last night?' she thought. As if to confirm her suspicions, Serena drew the covers back to reveal a slumbering Darien with his arm still wrapped protectively around her waist and smiled. 'He looks just like a little boy when he sleeps. I've been dying to do this for a long time,' she thought as she brushed his hair from his face. She couldn't resist placing a small kiss on his slightly open mouth before she gently pried his arm off of her.   
  
'It's already 9 in the morning and I promised Amy and Raye that I would go over there to help out with last minute stuff,' she thought as she gingerly stepped out of bed and searched for her robe. 'I really hate to leave him without telling him where I'm going but I don't want to wake him up either. Darien's been working so hard over the past week; he deserves to rest.' She tiptoed to his desk and found some paper and a pen. Quickly, she scribbled out a note and left it on the pillow where she had been lying.  
  
Serena opened the door and peered out in the hallway to make sure nobody was around and escaped to her room. 'It's not that I'm ashamed to have slept with Darien, far from it. I just want to keep our life private for now.' She showered, not bothering to blast the hot water as much as she used to. 'I feel my life turning around now. I hope you're burning in hell for what you've done to me, Jake Cassidy. You were wrong, you lying bastard. There _is_ someone who loves me almost as much as I love him.'  
  
She stepped out of the shower and hurriedly changed. 'Yikes, it's already nine thirty. If I don't hurry my ass up, Raye's going to kill me.' She rushed downstairs and into the kitchen, grabbing a slice of toast on the way out the door.  
  
"Hey girlie!" she heard Walter call just as she stepped outside.  
  
"Yes, Mr. Shields?"   
  
Walter hesitated. "Er...how are you this morning?" he asked.  
  
Serena smiled mysteriously. "Never better, why do you ask?"   
  
"Hmm? Oh nothing, nothing. It's just...where's Darien?"  
  
She shrugged. "I guess he's still asleep. I didn't hear him moving around in his room while I was getting ready."  
  
"Oh...well, where are you off to this morning?" he pressed.  
  
"I promised to go over to Amy's to help her get ready. The wedding's only a few hours away and we still have a ton of work to do. There's our hair and makeup, getting dressed, making sure that church and banquet hall are decorated, the florist has the bouquets, the photographer will be on time, the food is ready..." Serena trailed off as she glanced at her watch. "Listen Mr. Shields, I really have to go now otherwise we'll run behind schedule. I'll be happy to speak with you all you want after the wedding, but I'm really going to be late at this point."  
  
Walter just nodded his head in resignation. "All right, girlie. Just...be careful, okay?"  
  
Serena smiled, touched at the old man's concern. "I will, Mr. Shields. Thanks."  
  
She jumped in her car and raced to Amy's apartment with lightening speed. When she got there, she found Amy running around in her bathrobe with her mother not far behind, Kayla crying in her mother's arms and Justin nowhere to be found. "Hey guys, what's going on?"  
  
Raye looked up at the new arrival. "Well, thank you for gracing us with your presence finally. Amy's running around like a chicken with it's head cut off because she lost her earring, Kayla woke up in a bad mood and Justin ditched us to play a round of golf with Mr. Anderson and Zach, that no-good slacker."  
  
"Oh, poor little Kayla woke up in a bad mood? Come here to Auntie Sere, kiddie," she cooed as she took the baby from Raye, freeing her to grab some breakfast.   
  
"So Serena, how come you're late?" asked Raye.  
  
Serena tried to stop the blush from spreading across her face. "I overslept, that's all."  
  
Raye sighed. "Figures," she muttered into her cup of coffee. Serena sent a silent prayer to the heavens thanking God for making Raye miss the telltale blush. 'If she finds out that Darien and I slept together last night, she's never going to stop teasing me about it, then we'll never get anything done cuz I'd have to kill her."  
  
Amy finally found her earring in her robe pocket where she had placed it earlier for safekeeping. "You guys, I'm so nervous," she said.  
  
Raye's mouth turned into a teasing grin. "Really, I hadn't noticed."  
  
"Yeah Amy, you're the picture of calm today," Serena added as she and Raye started laughing.  
  
"Aw, shut up and get going. We have to get our hair done in twenty minutes," grumbled Amy, ignoring the peals of laughter coming not only from her two best friends, but now, also her mother.  
  
************************************  
  
"Are you ready, sweetheart?" Serena heard Mr. Anderson ask his daughter behind her.  
  
Amy breathed in shakily. "As ready as I'll ever be," she replied.  
  
"Don't worry Ames. You'll do great. Zach's a great guy, and if he's not...well, let's just say that Raye and I will have to do some serious ass-kicking," she reassured her friend.   
  
Raye turned around and faced Serena and Amy. "Don't forget Justin. He'd want a piece of the action too if anybody hurts his 'little sisters.'" They all smiled at that, for they knew how overprotective Justin could be when it came to Raye, Serena and Amy. He once took a baseball bat to some punk who had been hassling to the point of stalking Serena for a date when she was in university. Needless to say, the punk never bothered Serena again after he saw that she was under the protection of the star linebacker of the school football team. He really was the big brother that Serena and Amy never had.  
  
"Don't forget about me, sweetie. As your father, I get first dibs on the man who hurt my little girl," Mr. Anderson replied. Serena felt tears come to her eyes as she watched Amy and her father speaking softly to each other as they waited for the ceremony to start. 'Daddy will never get to see me walk down the aisle and it's all Jake's fault.'  
  
Suddenly, the doors were thrown open and the music began. Zach's six-year old niece walked out first, leaving white rose petals in her wake. Amy's cousin's four-year old son walked behind her, carrying a little satin pillow atop which were the rings. Raye followed the children escorted by Amy's first cousin. She winked at Justin sitting in the pew, who held a sleeping Kayla in his arms. He winked back and pretended to growl at the guy on her arm. Raye giggled like a schoolgirl and walked away, pretending to ignore him. Serena followed Raye a few seconds later and saw the whole thing. She caught Justin's gaze and rolled her eyes at his antics. He shrugged flippantly and smiled boyishly.  
  
That was when Serena noticed Darien sitting with his parents a few pews away from Justin. Their eyes met and they smiled privately at each other. Serena felt a blush creep along her face as her partner walked her towards the altar, where Zach was waiting anxiously. Just then, the music changed and everyone rose on their feet. Amy walked slowly down the aisle, escorted by her father, never taking her eyes off Zach. A shy smile tugged on her lips and a rosy blush tinted her cheeks. Serena thought she looked every inch a bride.  
  
"Dearly beloved," the priest began. Serena drowned him out and escaped in her own world, one where it was herself standing in Amy's place with Darien by her side. 'I can't wait for that day when we're here getting married. I wonder what our children will look like,' she thought dreamily.  
  
Serena had been lost in her flight of fancy that she almost missed Amy and Zach exchanging rings and vows. She sniffled, happy for her friend and also happy that she too was going to experience the joy that Amy was feeling someday. She saw Amy's mother crying tears of joy and her ex-husband take her hand in an effort to comfort her. Serena felt her eyebrows rise at that. 'Wow. Weddings really do bring out emotions in people. They could barely stand each other after the divorce, now they're sitting side-by-side and seeking comfort in one another. I guess love is really in the air,' she thought. Scanning the heads and faces of the many guests in attendance, Serena felt her eyes drawn to that of a dark-haired man in a dark blue suit. She felt Darien staring at her with such intensity that it was a wonder he didn't bore a hole through her. Serena felt Raye elbow her in the ribs. "Pay attention," she hissed. Serena blushed furiously and turned away from Darien, although she could still feel him staring at her.  
  
The priest went on for a few more minutes until he finally got to the part everyone wanted to hear. "What God has put together, let no man tear asunder. By the power vested in me by God and the state of California, I now pronounce you husband and wife. You may now kiss the bride." Serena gripped Raye's arm in anticipation as she watched Zach slowly bring Amy's face to his in a tender kiss. They broke apart, eyes glazed and tears running down their cheeks. The guests clapped as they made their way down the aisle together and rushed to their limo. It was time for the reception to begin.  
  
***************************************  
  
Serena sat at the presidential table listening to Zach's brother making fun of all his bad habits and 'preparing' her for what a life with Zach is going to be like. The crowd laughed as Zach put his head in his hands after his brother revealed that he was a bed wetter until the age of nine, when their mother had forced him to sleep on plastic sheets after getting fed up with the extra laundry she had to do each week. Serena laughed and once again found herself looking for Darien's face in the crowd. She saw him sitting with his parents and some old people she knew were Amy's great aunt and uncle. He noticed her looking at him and grinned boyishly. He rolled his eyes toward the old couple, who were no doubt regaling him with stories about the many trips they had taken across the country in their Winnebago. Serena smiled and mock glared at him, mouthing the word 'behave.'  
  
Finally, after the speeches were done, the four-course meal had been served, and Amy had her dances with her father and new husband, the DJ announced that it was time for dancing. Everyone cheered and headed out on the dance floor. Serena got up and noticed Darien had also stood up from his spot at the table. They walked towards each other and met in the middle of the dance floor.  
  
"Would you care to have a dance with me, milady?" Darien asked courteously, bowing slightly at her.  
  
Serena smiled and curtsied slightly. "Of course, milord." They laughed and Darien pulled her into his arms. They danced silently in each other's arms; relishing the feel of being held by the one they loved. Suddenly, a lady knocked into Serena, spilling her champagne all over the front of Serena's dress.   
  
"Oh dear!" the lady exclaimed. "I'm really sorry about that. Please forgive me."  
  
"That's okay," Serena replied, in such a good mood that she was ready to forgive the world. "I'll just go to the restroom to blot this out. Wait for me?" she asked Darien.  
  
"Sure Sere. I'll be over by the water fountain," he replied, pointing to a water fountain around the corner from the ladies' room. "I just want to make a quick phone call to Drew and see how his vacation went."  
  
Serena nodded and proceeded to the ladies' room where she wet a paper towel and tried to blot out the stain caused by the champagne. 'I'm so lucky that Darien loves me. Now I just have to tell him about my past. I'm sure he'll be understanding.' She smiled at her reflection, convinced that her life was changing for the better. Serena walked out the door and towards the water fountain where Darien had said he would be. She could hear him talking to his friend Drew, asking him about his vacation. 'I have to meet this guy soon. I mean he _is_ Darien's friend and we are in love with each other. Besides, Darien's met all my friends, even my family. It's time I meet his friends.'  
  
Serena paused to pick up the handkerchief she had dropped and froze at Darien's words.   
  
"Yeah Drew, I'm telling you, I had the best fuck of my life last night, and I don't even remember who it was...What do you mean, how can I not remember? I drank four Tylenols before I left for the bachelor party, then two more when we got to the bar. How was I supposed to know that you're not supposed to mix alcohol and Tylenol? I guess I picked up some slut at the bar and took her home. She was gone by the time I woke up but she left me a note saying, and I quote: 'you were great last night. Sorry I couldn't be there when you woke up, but I'm terribly busy this morning. Anyway, I'll see you later. I love you.' She loves me? I don't know who this person is, but there's only one person I love and that's..." Darien's voice faded off as Serena ran back into the ladies' room, wiping away angry tears.  
  
'You stupid girl, you fell for it again. When are you going to realize that 'I love you' is equal to 'I want to sleep with you'?" Well, he sure as hell isn't going to find out that it was me he slept with last night, not if I can help it. Just do your job and stay away from Darien Shields. Don't let him see you cry," she told her reflection firmly. She blinked rapidly, trying to stop the flow of tears that threatened to spill over. Serena took a deep breath, and then walked calmly out of the washroom, assuming the cold mask she had worn the last ten years of her life. 'It's good to be back.'  
  
"Hey Sere!" Darien called. "You want to continue our dance before we got so rudely interrupted?"  
  
Serena turned cold, indifferent eyes towards him. "No thanks, Darien. I see Raye over there and I think she wants to talk to me. Why don't you go find some other woman to dance with?" She didn't even wait for a response before leaving him and walking in Raye's direction.  
  
A few minutes later, the DJ stopped the music despite the groans from the dancers. "Relax folks, the bride has just informed me that it's time for the bouquet toss so all you single ladies gather round in front of the stage and try not to knock out your neighbour's teeth, okay?"  
  
The women squealed in delight and fought their way to the front of the stage. Raye, who had been standing beside her, whispered, "why aren't you rushing over there, Sere? Come on, it's tradition. Besides, you might just be the one to catch it."  
  
"Not if I can help it," Serena muttered under her breath.   
  
"What was that?" Raye asked as she rocked Kayla to sleep.  
  
"Nothing."  
  
"So go on, already. Amy's already on the stage."   
  
"Fine." Serena rose with a huff and walked to the very back of the group. She watched as Amy turned around and tossed the bouquet towards the crowd. All the ladies screamed and fought each other to get it while Serena stood motionless, eyeing the flowers as they sailed towards her.  
  
"Catch it Sere!" she heard Justin yell. She watched as the bouquet made its way down to her, waiting to be caught in her outstretched arms. But it was not meant to be for Serena had sidestepped the bouquet and allowed it to fall on the floor. Everyone watched as she picked it up and tossed it back to the other women, who were more than eager to fight for it once more.  
  
"I got it!" a triumphant redhead crowed. Serena rolled her eyes and stalked back to where Raye and Justin were sitting.   
  
"Why didn't you catch the bouquet, Sere? It was headed right for you," Raye asked gently.  
  
Serena raised her eyebrow and gave her a look that sent chills down her spine. "Marriage is not for me. I've lived for a long time without a man, I think I can survive without one."  
  
"What about Darien?" Raye asked.  
  
"Especially Darien," she muttered contemptuously.   
  
Justin narrowed his eyes and focused on Darien, who was staring at Serena with obvious worry in his eyes. "Did he do something to you, because if he did, it's just a few minutes to Amy's apartment. I could drive there and back with a bat in my hands in less than ten minutes." Justin began to reach into his pocket to fish out Amy's keys. He didn't like hearing that someone had hurt Sere, whom he loved like a sister.  
  
Serena reached out a hand to stop him. "It's okay Justin, I'm fine. I'm a big girl now. Do you guys mind if I crash with you at Amy's place until you guys leave? I haven't seen you guys in months and we hardly got a chance to talk over the past few days," she said indifferently.  
  
Raye and Justin looked at each other worriedly. "Sure Sere, I'm sure Amy won't mind if you spend the night in her place. Justin can sleep on the couch, right honey?" Justin nodded his assent.  
  
"No, that's okay. I'll take the couch. It's too small for Justin anyway. I probably won't be getting much sleep anyway, we have a lot to catch up on," she replied softly. "I think it's time for Amy and Zach to be leaving on their honeymoon."  
  
Sure enough, said couple had already changed into more casual clothes in a back room somewhere in the building. Amy ran up to them and gave them all big hugs, oblivious to Serena's change in attitude or Raye and Justin's worried faces.  
  
"Bye guys. Raye, Serena, thanks for everything. I couldn't have done it without you. Justin thanks so much for coming. I know you had a ton of work to do back in Toronto and I really appreciate you coming all this way just to see me get married," Amy gushed as she hugged all three of them.  
  
"_Just_ to see your wedding? What kind of a big brother would I be if I didn't at least screen the man that's going to marry you? Of course I would come to see you get married, sis. And let me just say that you made a beautiful bride," Justin said as he hugged her back.  
  
Serena smiled genuinely, even though it wasn't one of her trademark smiles. "I'm so happy for you, Ames. I know Zach will make your dreams come true," she whispered in Amy's ear.  
  
Amy and Zach held hands as they turned to their guests and waved goodbye. The limo was outside waiting to take them to the airport where they will spend two weeks in Hawaii for their honeymoon. The party resumed full blast and Serena did a decent job avoiding Darien by greeting the other guests and talking with Amy's relatives. When the party broke up a few hours later, Serena felt a presence behind her and knew instantly that it was Darien.  
  
"Is there something I can do for you, Darien?" she asked coolly without turning around.  
  
Darien hesitated. "Um...do you want a ride back to the house? I know that you came here in the limo with Amy and Raye so you probably don't have a ride back."  
  
"No thanks, I decided just a few hours ago that I'm going to spend the night at Amy's with Raye and Justin," Serena replied, finally turning around to face him. She noticed the look of confusion in his eyes as he tried to figure out what had brought about this hostility directed towards him.  
  
"Well, do you want me to drive you to the house so you could pick up some clothes?" he asked.  
  
"No thanks," she said before turning around and walking away from him without looking back.  
  
~~*End flashback*~~  
  
Dr. Eisner was frowning intently as he listened to her tale. 'It couldn't be...'  
  
"That night, I told Raye what happened between Darien and me and what I overheard him saying at the party. We didn't know that Justin had overheard us talking when he got out of bed to get a drink. All of a sudden, Justin appeared at the door with Zach's baseball bat in his hand and threatening to go over to Darien's house to 'knock a few memories back into his head with the aid of a Louisville Slugger.' It took Raye and I about twenty minutes to talk him out of it," Serena finished.  
  
Dr. Eisner cleared his throat nervously. "So what's happened since then?"  
  
"I've been avoiding Darien as much as possible. It's not easy since we live in the same house and sleep in the same wing. I was just some fuck to him. He told me he loved me to get me to sleep with him, telling me that I was always the one he wanted when he thought I was just some slut he picked up at the bar! I hate him and most of all, I hate myself because I still love him. I wish to God I had never met Darien Shields," Serena whispered brokenly.   
  
Dr. Eisner bit back gasp. "I thought you said his last name was Potts?" he asked evenly.  
  
Serena shook her head. "I changed their names to protect their privacy. I didn't mean to sound like I didn't trust you, but, you know..."  
  
"I understand, Serena. It's okay," Dr. Eisner murmured. 'I understand now perfectly.'  
  
He was just about to say something when the intercom buzzed. "I'm sorry to interrupt Dr. Eisner, but Mrs. Cook has been waiting for fifteen minutes for her appointment already," said Janice the receptionist.  
  
"That's all right Janice. Tell her that I'll only be a few minutes longer," Dr. Eisner replied. "I'm sorry that we've been interrupted Serena. Do you want me to write you a refill for your anti-depressants?"   
  
Serena shook her head adamantly. "No. I've stopped taking them. I won't feel sorry for myself any longer. Why should I? I have a loving family, supportive friends and fulfilling work. What more could I ask for? Thank you for seeing me today, Dr. Eisner. I'll make an appointment with Janice next week," she said.  
  
Dr. Andrew Eisner, better known as Drew to his friends and family, watched Serena saunter out the door with her head held high and her shoulders square. How did he get into this mess? 'I can't tell Darien that he slept with Serena, that's a violation of the doctor-patient confidentiality privilege. I can't tell Serena that I know Darien or her trust of men will completely shatter, if it hasn't already. What do I do?'  
  
********************************  
  
A few weeks later, Serena was in the pool with Walter, helping him do a few stretches. She had been silent for the most part of their exercise and Walter was beginning to wonder about it.  
  
"Girlie?" he asked with a softness in his voice that even he didn't know he possessed. "What's got you so down?"  
  
"Nothing, Mr. Shields. Why do you ask?" replied Serena as she stretched Walter's arm behind his back.  
  
"You're just not your usual chatty self, that's all. You've been like this ever since the wedding. Is it the boy?" he pressed, eyeing her so that she knew what he was talking about.  
  
Serena snapped her head up in surprise. She knew that the answer was written all over her face. Just as she was about to question him on what he knew, Molly rushed into the poolroom, her face flushed from having to search for Serena.   
  
"I'm sorry to barge in like this sir, but it's Serena's brother on the phone. He says it's urgent," she said breathlessly.  
  
Worry etched on her face as she picked up the phone on the bar. "Hello? Sammy? What's wrong?"  
  
"Sere, you have to come home. It's mama. The cancer is back and this time, it's spread to her bones," Sammy whispered over the line.  
  
Serena inhaled sharply. Her mother had been in remission for six years from ovarian cancer. "How long?" she asked hoarsely.  
  
"The doctors gave her two months at the most. Please hurry Sere. She's been asking about you," he pleaded. Serena could almost hear the vulnerable four-year-old boy who had asked her to protect him from the monsters under his bed.  
  
"I'll be there tonight," she replied as she hung up the phone. Serena turned to Walter, who had been trying not to listen to her conversation, and said, "I'm requesting a leave of absence Mr. Shields. My mother is dying and I have to go back home to be with her. I'll make some phone calls from Toronto about finding a replacement for me for about two months, possibly longer, but right now, I have to start packing."  
  
"Don't worry about finding me a replacement, girlie. Just worry about your mother. Tell her...that Candace and I are praying for her," Walter said.  
  
Serena nodded. "Thank you Mr. Shields. It means a lot to me."  
  
Walter watched her run to the door with her robe tied around her. She looked both ways before leaving the room, obviously on the look out for Darien. 'I wonder what's happened between them since he came home from that bachelor party and I saw them kissing in the kitchen? Oh Darien, why did you have to hurt her?'  
  
************************************************************************  
  
Started June 6, 2002, finished June 7, 2002.  
  
All right, kill me now not only for the late update, but for also dragging this story out just a little longer. Would you all hate me if I put this story on hold indefinitely? Just joking folks, no need to send the flames of wrath my way. I want this story to finish just as badly as you do. Tell me what you think of this chapter, please!  
  
For those of you who still hadn't figured it out, the pills Serena was taking are anti-depressants which I mentioned in the last chapter. 


	9. Separation Anxiety

I got a review from someone asking how Ken Mathis, Serena's dad, died in the car with Jake. Well, let me put it this way. If your teenage daughter came crying to you one day, telling you that she had been molested since she was a little girl and then raped when barely in her teens by a person whom you thought was your best friend, what would you do? If you were like me, you would open up a can of whoop ass on the bastard and that's exactly what Ken did, although the details will be revealed in a later chapter. About Andrew being the doctor, I've been dropping hints since the first chapter (not the prologue) about his identity. I mentioned that he had green eyes, his girlfriend had long, curly red-brown hair, Darien telling him to see a therapist because his work is getting to him, and finally, the vacation Dr. Eisner took with his girlfriend that coincided with 'Drew's.' Now that I look back on it, I guess they were really vague hints because who would guess that Dr. Eisner is really Drew just from the fact that the doctor has green eyes? Sorry about that o.O;   
  
Is it just me, or is the server for ff.net always down? Every time I try to read someone's story, it always says 'Cannot find server.' What's up with that? Is it my connection or ff.net's problem? Anyway, enough of my silly rambling, time for the story!  
  
************************************************************************  
  
Wounded Souls  
  
Chapter Eight-Separation Anxiety  
  
By: crystal rose  
  
June 9, 2002  
  
***********************************  
  
~~*Flashback*~~  
  
Serena descended the stairs with a hastily packed suitcase in her hand. She glanced around almost reverently at the mansion that had been her home for about three to four months, taking in its beauty and trying to memorize it in her mind. 'My coming back here would depend on either one of two things: mom dying or mom recovering miraculously. Either way, do I really want to come back?' she thought.   
  
Candace and Walter were waiting at the bottom to see her off. "Oh my dear, please tell your mother that Walter and I are keeping her in our prayers," Candace gushed as she hugged Serena goodbye. "Don't worry dear, your mother is a strong woman; she'll come out of this just fine, you wait and see."  
  
"Yes, it takes a very strong woman to put up with you and that brother of yours," Walter said. "Don't worry girlie, your mother will bounce back good as new." In a surprising move that would have stunned Serena had she not been already feeling numb, Walter reached out and enveloped her in his arms.   
  
"Oh Mr. Shields, I asked Amy to call around and come up with a list of physical therapists in this area to take over while I'm gone," Serena said shyly when she pulled away. "She should have some names for you by tomorrow or the next day."  
  
Walter pretended to frown at her and pointed his index finger in her face. "Didn't I tell you not to concern yourself with me but to concentrate on your mother feeling better?" he asked sternly, like a schoolteacher disciplining a misbehaving student. "Walter Shields is nothing if not self-reliant. Men like me don't take kindly to outsiders trying to worm their way into our lives."  
  
"What about me? By your description, I must have totally turned your life upside down," Serena replied, smiling slightly.   
  
Walter smiled at her fondly and patted her cheek softly. "You girlie, are the exception to the rule, although I must admit, you certainly are correct in that you have turned my life upside down. But don't worry my girlie, it was all for the best."  
  
Serena felt a few tears prick her eyes at Walter's kind words. She opened her mouth to say something but was interrupted by two sharp blasts from a horn. "That's my cab, I'd better go before I miss my plane." She waved to the cab driver to acknowledge his presence and turned back to give Candace and Walter another quick hug goodbye.  
  
"Oh, it's too bad that Darien isn't here to say goodbye to you. I'm sure he would have liked to have been here," Candace said mournfully.  
  
"I'll bet. He said goodbye the moment he lied to me, but the worse part is, he doesn't even remember who he lied to," Serena muttered under her breath, obviously not meaning Candace to hear. Unfortunately, she didn't count on Walter's great sense of hearing.  
  
'Hmm...So, I was right. Her change in attitude was caused by something the boy did. If my suspicions are correct, then girlie has every right to get angry at Darien.'  
  
The cab driver honked his horn again. "Have a safe flight dear," Candace said as Serena made her way to the cab.  
  
"Thanks for everything. I'll be back as soon as I can," Serena said and got into the cab. She rolled down the window and waved to Candace and Walter until the cab was out of the driveway.  
  
~~*End flashback*~~  
  
^**Toronto**^  
  
Serena's plane touched down in Toronto at eight o'clock in the evening. She grabbed her carry on bag and breezed through customs. Serena had barely stepped through the gate when she heard Sammy's voice calling her from the crowd.  
  
"Serena! Over here!" he cried, waving his arms so that she could see him.  
  
Serena rushed towards him and gave him a hug. "How's mom?" she asked.  
  
Sammy shook his head as he bent down to pick up her bag. "She's still able to walk around for a bit but she's getting weaker everyday. Where's the rest of your luggage?" he asked.  
  
Serena motioned to her medium sized bag in his hands. "That's it. I left the rest of my stuff in LA."  
  
"You mean, you're going back there when mom..." he trailed off, unable to continue.  
  
Serena wrapped an arm around her brother's shoulder, which wasn't easy to do since he was significantly taller than she was. "Don't think like that, okay? Mom will get better; I know it. I just didn't have time to pack everything because I wanted to leave as soon as possible."  
  
They made their way to Sammy's car in silence. Sammy put his sister's bag in the trunk and both got in the car. As he pulled out of the parking spot, Serena let out a tired breath. "I've forgotten how humid it gets in August. Turn up the A/C will you?"  
  
Sammy gave her a tight smile and obliged. "You know what they say in these parts: 'it's not the heat, it's the humidity.' It's been like this for a week now. I expect it to rain in a few days."  
  
"How did mom find out that the cancer was back?" she asked to break the uncomfortable silence that settled between them. Sammy didn't answer her right away as he changed lanes to overtake another car. "Sammy?"  
  
"Hmm? Oh, yeah. Mom got an x-ray for her annual physical when the doctor noticed something odd. He got her to do more tests, including a bone density test. When the results came back, they knew for sure that the cancer was back and had spread. The doctor gave her a couple of months at the most," Sammy explained flatly, as if he were explaining it for the hundredth time. "Aunt Celeste said that she'll come by the house on Friday."  
  
Celeste Jacobs was Ilene's younger sister and Sammy and Serena's favourite aunt. She was a nurse at the same hospital Serena worked at before she moved to LA. At the age of forty-two, Celeste lived a carefree single life, often dating around. She wasn't promiscuous; she was looking for the ever-elusive Mr. Right. Despite their differences, Ilene and Celeste were the best of friends. Celeste had helped them through the difficult time of Ken's death and finding out the reason behind Serena's suicide attempt.  
  
"That's good. I've really missed her while I was away," Serena murmured to herself. Five minutes later, Sammy pulled his car into the driveway of their mother's house. It was a little smaller than their childhood home, but Ilene had opted to sell it once she found out that Serena had been molested in the room right beside her own. Besides, when Serena and Sammy moved out into their own apartments in the city, Ilene didn't feel the need for such a large home.  
  
"I've decided to stay here for the meantime too," Sammy explained in hushed tones as he led the way to one of the guest rooms. "I wanted to be here for you and mom just in case..."  
  
Serena gave him a small smile in appreciation. "Where's mom?" she asked, equally silent.  
  
"Probably in her room resting. Why don't you check in on her?" Sammy suggested. "I'll go out and pick up some take-out. I'll be back in half an hour." Serena watched her brother dash out the front door and sighed. She knew he found it hard to accept the fact that their mother was gravely ill. Sammy always used to take off every chance he got when their mother was first diagnosed with ovarian cancer. He would help out of course, but it was as if he were just going through the motions, like he was watching himself and everyone around him from afar. Sammy didn't want to acknowledge the fact that his mother was sick then, and he certainly didn't want to acknowledge that she was dying now.   
  
Serena walked softly down the hall to her mother's room. She knocked gently on the door. "Mama?" she called softly. When she got no response, Serena opened the door and looked around the darkened room. She saw her mother lying on the bed, curled up in her blanket. 'She looks peaceful...a little too peaceful,' she thought. Her heart stopped and she dashed to her mother's bedside. She tried to see if her mother was still breathing but it was impossible to tell in the dark room.   
  
"Mama? Mom...please wake up," Serena whimpered as she shook Ilene gently, tears running down her face. "Mama, wake up. Mama...Oh God, wake up! WAKE UP!!"  
  
Ilene opened her eyes to see Serena crying hysterically on the floor beside her bed. She raised her hand up and gently put it on her daughter's heaving shoulders. "Serena? Why are you crying?" she asked hoarsely.  
  
Instead of answering, Serena flung herself into her mother's embrace. "Oh mom! You're awake! I thought...I thought you...were..."   
  
"Dead?" she asked, an amused smile on her face. "Don't worry, my baby. Mama's here, mama's here..." she cooed softly. Ilene ran her hand over Serena's back, soothing her. Finally, Serena stopped sobbing and eased out of her mother's arms. Ilene brushed away the remaining tears from Serena's face. "So I take it that Sammy called you?"  
  
Serena nodded. Instantly, her eyes clouded up with tears and she was once again hugging her mom. "Don't go, mama. We need you-I need you..." she cried.   
  
"Serena, it's my time to go. I've accepted it already, and so should you. I'm just glad that I got to see what fine adults my babies have grown up to be," Ilene said, tears forming in her eyes. 'I mustn't cry. I have to be strong for my children, especially Sere.' They stayed that way for a few more minutes until Serena's sobs were reduced to hiccups. "So, how have you and Darien been getting along?" Ilene knew she had said something wrong for she saw Serena's back stiffen and her face harden in suppressed anger.   
  
"Fine," she replied curtly, not looking at her mother.  
  
Ilene cupped her hand under Serena's chin and looked into her eyes. She saw tears of hurt and humiliation threatening to spill over. "What happened baby? I thought you were so happy, what went wrong?"  
  
Serena shook her head and closed her eyes over the tears as if locking them back in. "Don't worry about me, mom. I'm a big girl now; I can handle my own problems. Besides, Sammy's coming back soon with the take-out," she replied, pasting a fake smile on her face. Serena felt Ilene staring at her in concern. "I'll tell you when we're alone, okay? I don't want Sammy to know."  
  
Ilene nodded her head understandingly. She could understand Serena's reluctance about her brother knowing too much about her romantic life. As if on cue, Sammy walked in with bags of Chinese food containers. Ilene gave her daughter one last pat on the cheek and rose slowly from the bed with Serena's help and walked to the kitchen. The three ate quietly, with Ilene asking her children questions about their day. Finally, dinner was over and Ilene left Sammy and Serena to do the dishes while she went back to sleep. They cleared the dishes quickly and efficiently, hardly saying anything, knowing that words weren't needed to communicate the fear that they felt. When they were finished, Serena and Sammy said good night to each other and disappeared into their own rooms.  
  
'The silence in this house is so oppressive,' Serena thought as she made her way to the window seat. She pulled back the curtain and looked out the window, gazing at the full moon. Briefly, she let her mind wander over to Darien, and how he managed to change her life so drastically in the three months that she's known him. 'My life is constantly going up and down, although I find that there are more downs than ups, especially since I met him. How could I have let my guard down so easily?' she thought.  
  
~~*Flashback*~~  
  
It had been exactly one week since Serena arrived on the doorstep of the Shields mansion and she was looking for something to do. Walter and Candace were at the moment entertaining some friends of theirs who had come over unexpectedly while Walter was in the midst of his exercises. Serena smiled and gave him the rest of the day off, but only after making him promise to work extra hard the next day. She was introduced to the visitors, whom she greeted politely, and made her way outside. She heard the pounding of hooves in the distance and immediately knew what her next destination would be.   
  
Serena quickly made her way to the stable, a place she had been longing to visit the moment she first heard about it. She climbed her way to the top of a hill and looked down into the land below. A wooden fence bordered the corral and a huge wooden structure she surmised was the stable. A beautiful dark brown Arabian mare pranced around gracefully as Serena made her way to the building ahead.   
  
"Hello?" Serena called out softly. Hearing no response except for the pounding of several hooves, she stepped inside and looked around. There were six stalls and five horses inside. She guessed that the empty one belonged to the beauty outside. There were names above the stalls, identifying each horse. Above a pure white stallion was a sign labeled 'Artemis.' The next stall contained a roan mare called Gaia, and the caramel coloured filly next to her was named Athena. Across from Artemis was the empty stall with 'Solaris' labeling the top. Then next two horses took Serena's breath away. A silvery-white mare called Selene occupied the middle stall and a stormy-looking ebony stallion named Endymion towered over her in the next stall.   
  
"Selene and Endymion," Serena breathed. She felt an instant connection to Endymion and reached up to gently offer her hand to the intimidating horse. He sniffed her outstretched hand warily and allowed her to pat him gently on the cheek. Soon, she was nuzzling her face into his soft neck.  
  
"Congratulations. It seems as if you got Endymion to trust you. No small feat considering he practically trampled on me the first time we met," a voice from the doorway said.   
  
Serena jumped in surprise. She turned to the door and saw the silhouette of a tall man standing with the sun behind him. She squinted but couldn't see his face. "Who are you?" she asked.  
  
The figure stepped into the stable and Serena could finally make out who had surprised her. It was Darien, standing in nothing but his jeans, the sweat glistening over his torso. He had some reigns looped over his shoulder and a burlap bag in his hand. Serena blushed at the dashing sight he made and almost fell over her own foot. Behind her, Artemis made some weird neighing sounds, as if he was laughing at her. Serena shot him a stern look but Artemis merely snorted and stomped his foot.  
  
"It seems you've made friends with our resident bad ass," Darien commented lightly, his eyes skimming over Serena's body. She was dressed comfortably in a pair of hip-hugger flared jeans and a simple white tank top.   
  
"Which one, Endymion or Artemis?" she asked dryly, still shooting Artemis a dirty look. Darien laughed at the picture of Serena and Artemis locked in a staring contest.  
  
"Oh don't mind Artemis. He's just a practical joker, aren't you boy?" he asked, patting Artemis on the cheek affectionately. "Endymion's the one you should really watch out for. He's got a mean temper on him and he doesn't get along with the others too well. The only horse he likes is Selene."  
  
"Is that why you named him Endymion?" she asked, trying not to stare at Darien's profile as he poured feed into Artemis' trough.   
  
Darien smiled and looked back at her. "So I take it you know their story, huh? Not many people know the legend of Selene and Endymion. When I named him Endymion, my dad rolled his eyes and said, 'what kind of a fool name is Endymion? Is he that punk rapper that kids these days listen to? You know...Slim Shady?'" Darien said, doing a remarkable impression of Walter.  
  
Serena laughed until she doubled over and Artemis joined her with his 'horse chuckles'. "Your dad thought you named your horse after Eminem?" she cried. She calmed down after a few minutes of laughing. "So why _did_ you name him Endymion?"  
  
Darien made his way towards Selene and stroked her face gently. "When Endymion first came here, he was really hot-tempered, still is though he's calmed down a lot since then. He refused to stay in his stall, preferring to run around in the corral. The minute he saw Selene, however, he became gentler and more protective towards her. He wouldn't go to sleep until he made sure that Selene was back in her stall. Finally, I decided to put them together. Sometimes, I would see him nuzzling Selene's neck or they would go off in the corner of the corral and fall asleep together. That's why I named him Endymion; he can't rest without Selene."   
  
Serena smiled softly and kissed Endymion on the nose. "Aww, that's so sweet. They're in love."  
  
If anyone but Serena had said that his two horses were in love, Darien would have laughed in his face. But somehow, with Serena standing there in front of him, anything seemed possible. She could tell him that the moon was made of green cheese and he would believe her. "I guess they are," he replied softly. Just then, Serena and Darien heard a soft meowing sound behind them. A small, gray kitten had stumbled out of the clean hay to the side of the stable.   
  
Darien picked the tiny kitten up and cradled her in his big hand. "Are you hungry, Diana?" he whispered. The kitten mewled again and licked his finger. "This cat was abandoned by her mother a few hours after she and her brothers were born. The rest of them died from malnutrition before the stable hand and I found them. We've been taking care of her ever since."  
  
Serena watched, enraptured, as Darien took a tiny nursing bottle filled with milk and fed it to the hungry feline. She noted the firm, yet gentle, hold he had on Diana as she drank from the bottle in his other hand. She could almost see him holding a baby that way, feeding it from a bottle the way he was feeding Diana. 'Our baby,' she thought. Serena froze and for an instant, was almost afraid that Darien had somehow broken into her thoughts but was relieved to find him still engrossed in nursing the kitty. 'Where did that come from?' she wondered.  
  
Behind her, Artemis snorted and stomped his foot once again. She whirled around and saw Artemis baring his teeth at her in what seemed to be a mocking smile. As if he knew what she was thinking, Artemis flung his head in Darien's direction and neighed loudly. "Don't tell!" she pleaded Artemis, not pausing to think about how ridiculous it was to be scared of a horse revealing her private thoughts.  
  
Darien looked up from his position on the floor. "Don't tell what?" he asked.  
  
Serena felt the blush creeping up her face and heard Artemis once again 'laughing' behind her. She scratched her head in embarrassment and looked down at the floor, searching for an answer. "Um...don't tell...don't tell me that this poor thing's mother just abandoned her and her brothers like that. That's not very nice," she fumbled.   
  
Darien grinned lopsidedly at her. "Yeah, you're right, but that's the way nature works. Not all animals, or even people for that matter, were cut out to be parents," he said as he rocked Diana to sleep. It was then that Serena knew she had fallen in love with him.  
  
~~*End flashback*~~  
  
"Oh Darien, why did you have to make me fall in love with you?" she wept. "Why don't you love me like I love you?" She leaned her head against the cool window and cried herself to sleep.  
  
Ilene had been in her room looking through old photo albums when she heard Serena weeping in the next room. "Why don't you love me like I love you?" she heard through the wall. Ilene closed the album and frowned. "Oh Ken, why does she have to suffer so much? I'm afraid to leave her so unhappy. Sammy will be fine but it's Serena I'm worried about. Please watch over her for me, sweetheart, for I no longer have the strength to do it myself," she prayed before she fell into a dreamless sleep.  
  
^**LA**^  
  
'What a week it's been,' Darien thought as he drove home from work. 'I'm so glad that deal finally got worked out. Now I can relax and take it easy for a while.' Darien smiled as he breezed through traffic, delighting in the fact that he could now afford to work from home for at least the next week. He glanced at the perfect bouquet of a dozen long-stem roses on the passenger seat. 'Tonight's the night I tell Sere how I feel about her. I'm going to tell her how much I love her.'  
  
He drove up the driveway and parked his car in the garage. He noticed the car Serena was borrowing parked there along with his other vehicles. 'Good, she's home.' Darien picked up the bouquet carefully and practically sprinted into the house. He passed by the family room; fully intending to ignore his parents who were inside, when he heard his name coupled with Serena's. He stopped outside the door and listened to their conversation.  
  
"Walter dear, don't you wish that Darien and Serena would just hurry it up and admit their feelings for one another?" Candace asked dreamily.   
  
'Even mom knows how right we are together,' Darien thought.  
  
Walter hesitated for a moment before answering his wife. "I think that girlie is perfect for the boy, but is he perfect for her?" he asked.  
  
Darien's eyes narrowed. 'What the hell does he mean by that?'  
  
"There's a lot we don't know about girlie, a lot of things she keeps private. She hides her pain behind a mask of happiness. I think girlie's been burned many times and that the 'incident' in the kitchen I told you about, just added to her list," Walter continued, looking at his wife pointedly.  
  
'What incident?' Darien couldn't hear his mother's quiet words from outside the room but he could see her nodding her head in agreement with his father.  
  
"...Have you noticed how distant she's gotten since the wedding?" Candace asked.  
  
Walter nodded his head slightly. "She hasn't been the same since. Always moping about and quiet all the time. I never thought I'd hear myself say this, but I miss my girlie. The one who used to drive me insane with her stories and inane chatter."  
  
"And now, she's gone back to Toronto," Candace said sadly.   
  
Darien's ears pricked up. 'She's gone? Why?' He didn't notice that he dropped the roses as he barged into the room, startling both his parents. "What do you mean she's gone?" he demanded.  
  
Walter looked at him and sighed. "Her brother called this morning and told her that her mother is dying from cancer. She rushed back home to be with them as soon as she heard," he explained. Darien's eyes widened in shock.  
  
"Why didn't you call and tell me? I would've rushed home right away," he said.  
  
Candace shook her head. "There was no time. Serena was gone in less than an hour after the phone call."  
  
"How long will she be gone?" Darien asked quietly.  
  
Walter and Candace looked at each other carefully before Candace decided to answer him. "Sweetheart, she'll be gone for about two months, possibly longer. We don't know if she's planning on staying here or moving back home if her mother...you know," she explained gently.  
  
"You don't know if she's coming back?" he asked dejectedly, like a child who had just lost his best friend, which in a sense he did. Not waiting for an answer, Darien turned and fled from the room, his shoulders sagging heavily as he trudged up the stairs. Candace and Walter watched him worriedly from the doorway of the family room. Candace was on the verge of following him, when she felt Walter's hand restraining her. In his other hand was the discarded bouquet.  
  
"Let him go, Candy. I think he needs to be alone," he said. Walter gazed mournfully at the pristine red roses in his hand. "I think Darien's lost his chance with girlie and the sad part is, he doesn't even know what he did to lose it."  
  
******************************  
  
Later that night, Darien tossed and turned in his bed, unable to sleep. 'Why would she leave without even saying goodbye?' he thought. Not liking the silence that answered him back, he turned on the radio and listened to the DJ announcing the next song.  
  
"All right you insomniacs, here's 'Nobody Knows' by The Tony Rich Project," the DJ's velvety voice crooned.  
  
Darien sighed and leaned back against the headboard. He heard the soft beats and Babyface's melodic voice emitting from the speakers.  
  
I pretend that I'm glad you went away  
  
These four walls closin' more everyday  
  
And I'm dyin' inside,   
  
And nobody knows it but me.   
  
Like a clown, I put on a show  
  
The pain is real even if nobody knows  
  
And I'm cryin' inside,  
  
And nobody knows it but me.  
  
Why didn't I say,  
  
The things I needed to say?  
  
How could I let my angel get away?  
  
Now my world is just a-tumblin' down.  
  
I can say it so clearly,  
  
But you're nowhere around.  
  
Chorus  
  
The nights are lonely, the days are so sad  
  
And I just keep thinkin' 'bout the love that we had  
  
and I'm missin' you  
  
and nobody knows it but me  
  
I carry a smile when I'm broken in two  
  
and I'm nobody without someone like you  
  
I'm tremblin' inside and nobody knows it but me  
  
I lie awake it's a quarter past three   
  
I'm screamin' at night as if I thought   
  
you'd hear me  
  
Yeah my heart is callin' you   
  
and nobody knows it but me  
  
How blue can I get  
  
You could ask my heart  
  
but like a jigsaw puzzle it's been torn   
  
all apart  
  
A million words wouldn't say just how   
  
I feel  
  
A million years from now ya know   
  
I'll be lovin' you still  
  
chorus  
  
Tomorrow mornin' I'm hittin' the  
  
dusty road   
  
gonna find you wherever, ever you   
  
might go  
  
I'm gonna unload my heart and hope   
  
you come back to me  
  
said when the nights are lonely...  
  
chorus  
  
Darien angrily pushed the button on the remote to shut off the stereo. 'Dammit, even the fucking radio's against me!" He threw the bedcovers off and walked out into the hallway, pausing before Serena's door. He hesitated for a moment, then turned the knob and entered. He was relieved to still find the majority of her belongings strewn about the room. 'That means she's coming back.' He picked up her pillow and sniffed it. 'Strawberries,' he thought. Having gotten what he came for, he threw one last reverent look around the room and closed the door. He made his way back to his own room, and lay on his bed, hugging the pillow tightly. 'Please come home soon, Sere.'  
  
***************************  
  
Two days later, he met Drew, and the rest of his friends for lunch at Luigi's, the same restaurant he had taken Serena a few months back. They sat at the patio, so Darien didn't see the table where he waited impatiently for Serena, or the tree he had knocked down when she arrived.  
  
"Hey Darien. Earth to Darien," Drew said, waving his hand in Darien's face. "What're you so spaced out about?"  
  
"What else, but the lovely Serena?" Chad laughed. Darien looked at him sharply and Drew shifted uncomfortably in his seat. Chad just ignored his friend's murderous look. "So have you figured out why she's been giving you the cold shoulder lately?" he asked.  
  
Darien sighed and shook his head. "Nah, and I won't for a long time. She's gone back home for a family emergency. She's staying there for about two months," he answered sadly. Drew said nothing. He, being her therapist, already knew that and guessed that she would be hesitant about returning to LA after everything that had passed between them.  
  
"Do you really love her, or is this just another conquest for you? You know, banging the girl who turned you down then leaving her for another?" asked Greg.  
  
Darien narrowed his eyes dangerously while Greg, in turn, swallowed nervously. Drew listened carefully, hoping to hear that Darien hadn't lied about his feelings for Serena that night. "Of _course_ I love her! If you weren't my friend, Greg, I'd beat your ass inside out for saying that."  
  
Drew sighed. 'At least he loves her, even if he doesn't remember telling her already.'  
  
"I don't know what to do. Before she left, I felt like she was trying to avoid seeing me in the house. She'd go to down to the dining room before I even have a chance to ask if I can walk her down like I usually do. She hardly ever talked to me and after meals, she'd rush to her room and lock the door. I don't know what I did wrong," Darien said.  
  
Drew cleared his throat nervously. "Maybe it's something you did unconsciously," he suggested timidly.  
  
"I guess," Darien conceded. A thought suddenly occurred to him. "Oh God! Do you think that she found out that I slept with another woman the night before Amy's wedding?" he asked Drew worriedly. He could see worry flicker in Drew's eyes.   
  
Drew became fidgety under Darien's stare. "Um, could we talk about something else?" he asked.  
  
Darien looked at him. "Why? What aren't you telling me, Drew?" he asked suspiciously.  
  
"Nothing Darien," he said, not looking into his eyes.  
  
Suddenly, a memory flashed into Darien's head. He had been sitting with Serena on the couch in the family room on the day they had lunch together at the very restaurant he was at now. Darien remembered that she had an appointment that day and also remembered how drained she was when she got back. When he questioned her on her lack of energy, Serena smiled sadly and said it was nothing. He continued to press until she admitted that she went to a doctor's appointment.   
  
'What kind of doctor's appointment leaves a person feeling worn out?' he asked.  
  
He remembered seeing an inner struggle waging in Serena's sub-conscious before she slumped dejectedly. 'A therapist. I've been seeing a therapist for a while now, even when I was back in Canada. Please just don't ask me any more...'  
  
Drew saw a flicker of understanding in Darien's eyes and hoped that he remembered what happened that night. 'Please Darien, just remember. I can't tell you anything if you don't remember,' he pleaded silently to his friend.  
  
"You're her therapist," Darien said in a low tone that sent chills up Drew's spine. Drew didn't say anything in response but he didn't have to for Darien had already seen the answer in his eyes. Darien frowned. He didn't like the fact that another man knew more about Serena than he did. "So, what did she say?" he demanded, raking a hand through his hair.  
  
Drew looked at him regretfully. "You know that's confidential, Darien. Whatever she said in the office, stays in the office."  
  
"Aw, you suck, man. C'mon, just tell us what the crazy chick said," Chad pried. Drew cast him a warning glance and Darien looked like he was going to beat Chad up.  
  
"She's not crazy. She's just got...issues that she needs to talk about with someone who won't judge her. I can't violate her trust like that. It goes against everything I stand for," he said firmly.  
  
Darien and Chad relented. "Fine, don't tell me what she said. At least tell me what she's seeing _you_ for?" Darien said.  
  
Drew didn't miss the extra emphasis on 'you.' He knew Darien was jealous that Serena had unconsciously confided in his friend rather than himself when he was already in love with her. "I'm sorry, but that's private information and I can't discuss it. What I can tell you is that she's had a really hard life and that she's been hurt-a lot. It won't be easy to regain her trust," he said.  
  
"'Regain her trust?' I knew it! I did something wrong to hurt her!" Darien exclaimed. Drew cursed himself for letting that one slip out.  
  
"No, I mean her trust in general. So many people have hurt her that she finds it hard to trust anyone anymore," Drew quickly covered up.  
  
Darien sighed. He respected his friend's firm stance on his work ethics but couldn't help but feel as if he needed to know something important about Serena. Something that started a long time ago, before she even knew him.  
  
^**Toronto**^  
  
Serena's dream  
  
She was in her childhood home, walking through its empty corridors. All of a sudden, she heard a whimpering coming from her old room. With a sinking feeling, Serena pushed open the door and saw her eight-year old self laying on the bed with Jake between her knees as he assaulted her. Serena rushed forward and tried to shove him away but her hand just passed through Jake's body. She realized that she would not be able to help her younger self.  
  
"Please help me," the little girl whimpered at her.  
  
"I'm sorry, I tried but I can't. My hand just goes through him," she apologized, tears falling from her face as she watched the helpless child live through another night of torture at the hands of Jake.  
  
"Nobody's around to help you, you little slut," Jake said roughly, taking his mouth away from little Serena's genitals. "Your pretty mommy is asleep right now. Maybe I should go wake her up? Would you like that, little slut?"  
  
The little girl shook her head no and closed her eyes once more. "Please don't hurt my mommy, Uncle Jake. I'll be good, I promise."  
  
"That's a good slut," he replied and once more continued with his horrific deed. The adult Serena watched helplessly as the little girl bore the assault without a sound. She reached down and took the child's hand.   
  
"Don't worry, I'm here with you. We'll get through this together," she whispered determinedly. She watched as the scene changed once more, only to find her adult self on the bed with Darien in Jake's place.  
  
"I love you, you slut," Darien whispered harshly.  
  
Serena shook her head firmly. 'No, Darien and Jake are two different people. They both hurt you, but in different ways. As bad as what Darien did to you, he would never do what Jake did,' she thought to herself.  
  
Once more, Serena took her double's hand and gave it a squeeze. "We'll get through this together."  
  
End dream  
  
Serena shot up in bed and looked out the window. This is the third day back and still she couldn't forget about Darien's deception. She thought back to the dream and immediately felt queasy. She ran to the washroom and threw up just in time.  
  
'You can't keep throwing up every time you think about Jake. You have to be strong for yourself, and especially mama," she told herself in the mirror. With that said, she rinsed out her mouth and prepared to start another day.  
  
************************************************************************  
  
Sorry this one's short but I didn't want to give away anything too soon. Thanks for reviewing the previous chapters, you guys. You make me blush ~.~;  
  
Oh and Sean, don't worry about the questions I had about your fic. I just wanted to know if Serena will be able to forgive Darien for what he did to her. That's the main question I have in my head and I would appreciate an answer SOON! So get cracking on another chappie, you hear?  
  
GOD!!! This is sooo frustrating! I'm trying to load this story as I type but the frigging server is down AGAIN!! Don't blame me because this update is later than it was supposed to be. DAMMIT @_@ SHIT!! Sorry, but I've been trying to upload this chapter since I finished it and the stupid Internet won't let me.  
  
FF.net is being SUCH a bitch tonight... 


	10. Confessions

************************************************************************  
  
Wounded Souls  
  
Chapter Nine-Confessions  
  
By: crystal rose  
  
***************************  
  
Serena was driving through the quiet neighbourhood on her way to Raye's house when she noticed a teenage couple about to cross the street. She came to a slow stop and allowed them to pass, holding hands all the way with not a care in the world. Serena eyed them enviously before easing her foot off the brake. 'I never had that when I was that girl's age. I don't think I've ever had a real date after James dumped me. Every guy I've ever been with was just interested in using my body, not taking me out on a date. Even Darien slept with me without going out with me first. I guess old habits die hard,' she thought bitterly as she made a right turn into Raye's street.  
  
'I mean c'mon, the closest you ever had to a date with Darien was that lunch at the restaurant. Face it; Darien used you just like every man you've ever known with the exception of Daddy, Sammy and Justin. Men are only nice to you when they want something. In your case, it's always a quick fuck wherever and whenever it's convenient.' Tears suddenly clouded her vision, making everything in front of her swim. Serena pulled the car over to the side of the road abruptly and shut off the engine. She squeezed her eyes shut and gripped the steering wheel tightly with both hands. 'Don't cry, Serena. Don't ever let them see you cry. Crying is just another weakness that you can't afford to have. You have no right to cry about all the men that used you; you brought it on yourself. You _let_ them use you and throw you away like yesterday's trash so don't you _dare_ cry about it now,' she reprimanded herself furiously.   
  
After a few more minutes scolding herself on the side of the road, Serena turned the ignition key and once again headed in the direction of Raye's house. 'Now remember, Raye is pretty nosy when it comes to the well-being of her friends so don't give her any information than you have to. She's definitely going to ask about Darien so just act like what happened is no big deal, and she'll move on. What am I saying, of course it wasn't a big deal, in Darien's perspective anyway,' she thought, frowning to herself as she pulled into Raye's driveway. Taking a deep breath, she smoothed out her hair and stepped out of the car gracefully. Serena walked up the steps and rang the doorbell.  
  
"Coming!" Raye's voice called. Footsteps were heard racing towards the door before it was flung wide open. "Serena!" she cried in surprise and ushered her inside.  
  
Serena smiled. "I'm sorry I didn't call first, but I just needed to get out of the house. It's too quiet there," she explained.  
  
Raye smiled back sympathetically. "No need to explain, Serena. Why don't we sit down in the living room and have some tea? Justin brought home some green tea from his trip to Japan two weeks ago and now's just a good time as any to try it," Raye said as she led Serena to the living room. Serena sat down on the couch and watched Raye hustle around in the kitchen, making tea. "The instructions are in Japanese, for god's sake. How am I supposed to make this?" she muttered.   
  
"Need help?" Serena called, unable to keep the smirk off her face.  
  
"Nah, tea's tea. If I can make a cup of Earl Grey, I sure as hell can figure out how to make green tea," Raye bit out.  
  
"So where's Kayla and Justin?" Serena asked, flipping through a magazine she found on the coffee table.  
  
"Kayla's taking her nap and that husband of mine is at work for the moment. He should be home in around an hour and a half," Raye said from the kitchen. They waited in silence for the tea to come to a boil. Finally, Raye walked to the living room with a tray in her hands. "Here," she said, offering Serena a cup.  
  
"Hey, this is actually pretty good," Serena commented after taking a small sip.  
  
"Of course it's good, I made it," Raye replied in mock arrogance. She glanced at Serena thoughtfully and patted her hand gently. "I heard about your mom, Sere. How's she doing?" she asked softly.  
  
Serena set her cup down on the table, making sure to place a coaster underneath it first. She knew how particular Raye was about water rings and heat marks on her wood furniture. "She's holding up pretty well. I know she tries to hide it, especially from Sammy, but she's getting weaker every day. She can still walk around the house, but not for long periods of time because she gets tired easily," she replied.  
  
"Your mom is the strongest person I know next to you. She's going to be okay," Raye said consolingly.  
  
Serena shook her head. "Please Raye, stop lying to make me feel better. She's dying and there's nothing else we can do. With the exception of painkillers, Mom has stopped taking any medication of any kind. I've been here for three weeks already and I've seen what the cancer is doing to her. Mom doesn't have long," she finished softly.   
  
On the couch next to her, Raye felt her heart breaking for her friend. 'It's not fair. She's been through _so_ much. First Jake; then all those guys in high school; the suicide attempt; her mother's cancer diagnosis seven years ago; that jerk Darien and now this. Yet, despite all this, or perhaps in _spite_ of all this, Serena has managed to hang on to her kind soul. I wonder when Serena's life is going to start changing for the better,' Raye thought as she put an arm around Serena.   
  
"I'm really sorry to hear that, Sere. Just know that if you ever need anything, Justin and I are only a ten minute drive or a phone call away," Raye offered.   
  
Serena sniffled and managed a weak smile. "Thanks Raye. That means a lot to me."  
  
"No problem. By the way, who's with your mom now?"   
  
"Aunt Celeste came over after her shift at the hospital and mom wanted to have a talk with her alone so Sammy went to Mika's house and I decided to come here," she explained. "I think mom wants to have 'the talk' with Aunt Celeste. You know, about her dying and the funeral arrangements and stuff like that. I think she thinks Sammy and I can't handle it but honestly, I've come to terms with her dying. I'm just glad to have had these extra six years that Sammy and I got to spend with her after she went on remission. I don't know about Sammy, though."  
  
"So, Sammy's having a hard time dealing with all this, huh?" Raye asked.  
  
Serena sighed. "I don't think he's ever gotten over mom getting diagnosed with cancer in the first place. He's still having a hard time accepting the fact that daddy died that night when he got into that argument with Jake. Don't forget, he was only thirteen at the time; he didn't know what I told daddy that day."  
  
"None of us did," Raye reminded her gently. "I still can't believe you went through all that alone, Serena. I don't know how you did it."  
  
"I had no choice; he was going to hurt my mother if I didn't do what he said to do. My mother has always been there for me and there was no way I would have allowed her to go through the humiliation and pain that I went through," Serena said determinedly.  
  
Raye couldn't help but look at her friend in awe and admiration. 'She's so selfless. I don't know if I could have done what she did if I were in her place.' On an impulse, Raye wrapped both arms around her friend and gave her a huge hug, which Serena returned gladly. "How about you, are you okay?" she asked worriedly.  
  
"Yes Raye, I'm fine," Serena answered.  
  
"Are you getting enough rest? Food?"   
  
"Yes I am. You know how much I like to eat, Raye. Besides, we've been trying to get mom to eat more often because she can't eat as much as she used to. Sammy's been to every take-out place from here to Buffalo. I think I've gained weight since I've moved back here," she said, patting her stomach lightly.  
  
"Well...just make sure you get enough of both. You can't help your mom if you're not feeling one hundred percent, you know," Raye continued, disregarding Serena's look of impatience.  
  
"I _know_ that Raye. Geez, something tells me you should have been a warden instead of a lawyer," Serena replied testily. She softened her face immediately at Raye's hurt look. "I'm sorry, Raye. I didn't mean to snap at you. I'm just tired of everyone around me telling me what to do. I know you're concerned but I've got everything under control."  
  
"You have nothing to apologize for. You're going through a tough moment in your life and you're entitled to feel the need to take it out on the world sometimes. Lord knows your life hasn't always been easy."  
  
"Try never. My life has pretty much sucked the moment Jake Cassidy stepped into it but I'm through playing the victim," Serena said firmly. She took a sip of her tea before continuing. "I took a part in my own self-destruction so I can't place all the blame solely on the entire male population."  
  
"But it certainly is fun to try, isn't it?" Raye asked, her eyes twinkling mischievously.  
  
"Amen to that," she replied and they clinked their cups together.   
  
"So...have you told Darien that it was you he slept with?" Raye asked tentatively.  
  
Serena lifted her nose haughtily in the air. "Let him figure it out himself. Why should I make it any easier on him?"  
  
Raye could see through her friend's actions easily. "Do you still love him?"  
  
Serena narrowed her eyes. "No I don't. He was just a passing fancy, that's all. We both had a great night of sex with no strings attached. In fact, I think it's a blessing in disguise that he doesn't remember who it was he slept with. Can you imagine how awkward the next morning would be? We both said a lot of things that we didn't mean in the heat of the moment that would have been embarrassing in the light of day. We were just two lonely people in need of a good fuck and we got one," she said nonchalantly.  
  
Raye looked at her friend in concern. She knew the romantic ideals Serena had in high school when she first started going out with James. She remembered how excited Serena had been when she told her and Amy that James said 'I love you' to her and how devastated she was when he broke up with her. She knew that part of the reason Serena slept around was to find someone to love and who loved her back. Serena was the kind of person who wore her heart on her sleeve and yet was one of the most secretive people she knew. "Was it really just a 'good fuck' for you, Sere? You sure didn't act like it when you found out that Darien didn't remember you that night," she pressed.  
  
"Well, how would _you_ act if the person you slept with the night before didn't remember you at all? I was just wondering if maybe I've been out of action for so long that I've forgotten how to please a man," Serena replied defensively. "I guess I was more angry at the fact that I gave such a lousy performance than the fact he couldn't remember me at all."  
  
"Stop it, Serena. You were heartbroken when you overheard him talking to his friend and you know it. Don't do this to yourself!" Raye cried, frustrated that her friend was once again locking her feelings within herself.  
  
"Don't do what?" Serena asked innocently.  
  
"This. Stop pretending that that night meant nothing to you because I know for a fact that it did. It's written all over your face. You love him and pretending you don't won't help you heal any faster."  
  
"WHO SAID I WANTED TO HEAL AT ALL?!" Serena burst out. Then, remembering Kayla asleep in the other room, lowered her voice. "Fine, you want to know the truth, well here it is: I hate him. I hate him for using me like that. I hate him for saying the words but not meaning them. I hate him for giving me something I've wanted all my life and then yanking it away from me. I hate him for invading every thought, every breath, and every action that fills my days. I hate Darien Shields because one day, he'll find the perfect woman to spend the rest of his life with and it won't be me!" she sobbed. Raye pulled Serena towards her and let her cry on her shoulder, whispering words of comfort that were neither heard nor understood by either one of them. Finally, Serena's tears ceased and Raye felt her pulling out of her arms.   
  
"I really should get going. Mom might need me," she said hoarsely and stood up shakily.  
  
"Serena..."  
  
"Thanks for the tea and everything, Raye. I'll call you soon. You should visit the house one time with Justin and the baby, mom will love that," she continued, not paying attention to the worried frown creasing Raye's forehead. She bent down and gave Raye a tight hug. "Don't worry about me Raye. I just needed to get that out. You'll see, in a few days, I'll bounce back good as new and Darien Shields will be nothing more than an unpleasant memory. Turnabout _is_ fair play, after all."  
  
Raye watched Serena gather her things hurriedly. "Well, if you're sure you're okay..."  
  
Serena plastered a fake smile on her face. "Of course I'm sure. Now, I really must get back home and see how mom's doing. Say hi to Justin for me and give Kayla a kiss for me, will ya? Thanks again for everything Raye, I mean it," she replied, putting a little too much enthusiasm in her voice and movements. Raye followed her to the door silently, vaguely listening to Serena's babbling. They both said goodbye to each other, with Raye promising a visit to Serena's house soon. Finally, Raye closed the door with a sigh of relief, glad that her friend was gone so that she wouldn't have to listen to Serena berating herself for things that were not her fault.  
  
'Oh Serena...' she thought sadly to herself.  
  
********************************************  
  
Serena walked out of the washroom and headed to the kitchen where her Aunt Celeste was making an early lunch for themselves and Ilene. Sammy had gone to work at the newspaper, where he wrote a daily column in the sports section, after he made sure his mother had taken her pain medication earlier in the morning. She greeted her aunt and took a seat at the kitchen table.  
  
"Hey sweetie, are you feeling better?" Celeste asked. "Your mom told me that you've been vomiting a lot lately."  
  
"It's just stress. That and the fact that I've been having this nightmare of the first time Jake..." she trailed off, unable to complete the sentence for she felt another bout of nausea. She pushed the chair away from the table and dashed back to the washroom where she immediately threw up.  
  
When she got back to the kitchen five minutes later, Celeste was looking at her strangely. "Honey, are you sure it's just stress?" she asked hesitantly.  
  
Serena looked up from the glass of orange juice she had been sipping. "Of course it's just stress. What else could it be?" she asked.  
  
"Well...your mother told me that you met a young man in LA and that you had gotten really close to each other but when she asked you about him, you got all defensive," Celeste revealed. She set a bowl of chicken noodle soup in front of her niece and sat down across from her.  
  
"You think my stress is because of Darien?" Serena asked skeptically. "I don't know if you've noticed, but my mom is terminally ill. I _think_ her problems outweigh my problems with Darien."  
  
"Well, that's just it Serena. I don't think this is stress-related."  
  
Serena leaned back in her chair impatiently, wishing her aunt would stop beating around the bush. "Well what is it? The flu, perhaps?"  
  
"No...not the flu. Tell me-and you don't have to be embarrassed or anything, I'm a professional-but did you sleep with him?" Celeste asked.  
  
Serena frowned. "No offense, Aunt Celeste, but that's _really_ none of your business."  
  
"I'm only asking because it looks to me like you have morning sickness," she replied. "Morning sickness due to pregnancy, not stress or nightmares."  
  
"There's no way...God could be that cruel," Serena whispered. She shook her head forcefully. "No, there's no way I could be pregnant with his child. There's just no way. You don't know _what_ you're talking about, Aunt Celeste."  
  
Celeste raised an eyebrow in response. "Don't I? I am after all, a nurse, Serena. I recognize the symptoms. You have morning sickness _and_ you've gained some weight," she stated bluntly.  
  
Serena crossed her arms defensively and stared at her aunt, enraged. "So what if I have morning sickness? That doesn't automatically mean I'm pregnant. Didn't I just tell you that I've been having nightmares about Jake and what he did to me? You know how I get when I hear his name! And I've gained weight because I eat a lot, not because I'm pregnant. Haven't you always wondered how come I eat so much but don't gain any weight? Well, it's finally caught up to me, that's all. How dare you presume that I'm pregnant? You don't know what I'm going through! You have no idea what's happened to me since I went to LA. If I say I'm not pregnant, then I'm not pregnant, got it?"   
  
Celeste just sipped her soup impassively. "When was your last period?" she asked.  
  
Serena drew a sharp breath as she realized that she missed her last one. "That's it, I don't have to listen to this! Tell mom I'm going out!" she said over her shoulder as she ran from the room.   
  
Celeste winced as the front door slammed, causing the walls to vibrate noticeably. She sighed and got up to get a bowl of soup for her older sister. 'Well that just peachy,' she thought sarcastically as she ladled out the soup. 'Well Ilene, I tried. I told you she wouldn't listen to reason. I guess she's just going to have to find out for herself.'  
  
*******************************************  
  
Serena came home about two hours later just in time to relieve her aunt, who was due to start work soon. She glared at her aunt as she passed her on her way to the washroom.  
  
"What's in the bag, Sere?" her aunt asked casually.  
  
"None of your business,' she replied coldly as she slammed the door shut and locked it. She waited until she heard the front door close, indicating that her aunt had left for work, before turning her attention to the small plastic bag clutched in her hand. She felt bad for yelling at her aunt, who had been more like an older sister than an aunt to her, but the things Celeste had told her shook her up. After driving around aimlessly for about an hour, Serena finally worked up enough courage to go to the local pharmacy to buy a pregnancy test kit. She recalled staring in confusion at the multitude of boxes on the shelf and wondering which one was the most accurate. Finally, after fifteen minutes of silent deliberation, she decided to get a generic brand and one of the more popular kits on the market. She reasoned that she could take the generic one first, then follow it up with the other one just to make sure the results were accurate.   
  
Her hands shook as she read the instructions on the box. 'All right, what do we have here? A positive is one blue line, a negative is two blue lines. Shouldn't it be the other way around? I mean, if you're going to have a baby, shouldn't it show two lines instead of one, indicating that there's two of you now? Oh, who cares? Why do you always get distracted when you're nervous? It says here that it takes five minutes before the results show up. That should give me enough time to drink a lot of fluids to prepare for the next one,' she thought. After she finished taking the test, she set it on the counter face down, not wanting to know the results before the next test was completed, and headed to the kitchen for a drink of water.   
  
After drinking about six glasses of water in the span of five minutes, Serena once again headed to the washroom and locked the door behind her. The next box indicated that a positive result would be a plus sign, and a negative would be a minus sign. 'See? That makes perfect sense. Why couldn't the other one be this simple to read? You get what you pay for, I guess,' she thought with a shrug. This test only took two minutes for the results to appear on the stick so Serena decided to wait it out on the bathtub edge. She waited for ten minutes before she decided to take a look. She swallowed nervously and turned the cheap test over first.   
  
One blue line.   
  
Serena inhaled sharply and tried to stop her heart from jumping up her throat. 'Don't panic Serena. That was just the cheap test. You're _not_ pregnant. Watch, in two seconds, you'll know you're right when you look at the other, _better_ test. You'll be laughing about this five minutes from now, just like that time when you were sixteen,' she told herself confidently. She turned the other test over and stared at it, positive that she would see what she wanted to see.  
  
A plus sign.  
  
Serena reeled in shock and she had to grab the towel bar for support. She grabbed both boxes and reread the instructions frantically, hoping that the symbols somehow got mixed up in her mind. 'Oh God, one blue line means positive, a plus sign means positive. You're...pregnant,' she thought numbly.  
  
"Shit...shit...shit...shit...SHIT!" she screamed at her reflection as she threw the boxes against the wall. "Why does my life ALWAYS fuck up? WHY?" She sank to the floor and sobbed frustrated tears. Serena was crying so hard that she never heard her mother knocking gently on the door or her unlocking it from the outside using a key. All of a sudden, Serena felt warm arms encircling her, and hearing soft words being spoken in her ear.   
  
"Serena? What's wrong? Why are you crying?" her mother asked worriedly. Serena just continued to sob uncontrollably. Ilene looked at the fallen boxes on the floor and understood. She glanced at the counter where the two sticks were laying.  
  
"You're pregnant, aren't you?"  
  
Serena gasped. "No I'm not. Those...those tests are wrong. I didn't do it right or they were rejects that somehow made it on the store's shelves. I'm not pregnant...I'm not," she said pleadingly.  
  
Ilene smoothed the damp hair from Serena's face. "Honey...you of all people should know just how far science and medicine has advanced in the last ten years. Those tests were accurate and they have been designed so that anyone can do it. Besides, you've had prior experience in taking one of these tests, so there's no way you could have screwed it up. Face it, you're pregnant," she told her gently. "Why don't we talk about this in my room where it's more comfortable?"  
  
Serena nodded and helped her mother stand up. They made their way to Ilene's room slowly and silently. Ilene sat down on the bed with her back against the headboard and Serena crawled in beside her. "I can't be pregnant," she whispered to herself. "It was just one time."  
  
Ilene sighed sadly. "Sometimes, it just takes one time. How long ago did you and Darien make love?"  
  
"We didn't make love, we had sex. To make love, you have to be _in_ love," Serena responded bitterly.  
  
"Why don't you tell me what happened," Ilene suggested reasonably.  
  
"Simple. He was drunk, he told me he loved me and like a fool, I believed him. He took me to his room and had his way with me, then the next day I found out that he didn't even remember who I was! I overheard him telling his friend Drew at Amy's reception that I was just a great fuck to him and that I was probably just some slut he picked up at Zach's bachelor party. I had gone to feeling incredibly loved and appreciated to humiliated and rejected. I've never felt so cheap in my whole life," she cried.  
  
Ilene felt tears coming to her eyes for her child. "Are you sure that he doesn't love you, sweetheart? Maybe you just misheard or something," she suggested.  
  
Serena shook her head vigorously from side to side. "I know what I heard mom. I heard him say the three words I've been longing to hear all my life and I also heard his cruel remarks the next day. I will keep hearing them till my dying day. I should've known he was drunk! I mean, he just got back from a bachelor party for god's sakes! I should've recognized the signs. He stumbled on his own foot, his eyes were glassy, and he reeked of alcohol, and he had been feeling exhausted the entire week leading up to the party, making him more vulnerable to the alcohol's effect. Instead, I brushed my concerns aside because I felt like a hormonal teenager. Now I'm pregnant and he doesn't even know he's the father!" she exclaimed.  
  
"What are you going to do?"   
  
"Do?" asked Serena confusedly.  
  
"About the baby?"  
  
"I'm giving it up for adoption. I don't want anything to do with that bastard or his child," Serena said coldly.  
  
"Serena...maybe you should think this over before you rush into such a big step. Could you really handle giving your own child away to a perfect stranger when he or she's got a perfectly loving family here?" asked Ilene.  
  
"I don't need to think about this any further. I'm giving it away and that's that. I refuse to raise a child spawned by Darien Shields. This child deserves two loving parents and a stable home. I can offer none of those things. I'm unmarried, have a terrible past, and have become bitter towards life in general. I can't love this child because I'm incapable of it," she said firmly.  
  
Ilene tilted her head to the side and looked into Serena's eyes. She could see a vulnerability and a fierce determination behind the anger. "What about Darien? Doesn't he deserve to know he's about to become a father? Doesn't he have a say in what happens to his child?"  
  
Serena laughed out loud. "Deserve? I'll tell you what he deserves mom, and it's certainly not a child. He deserves to rot in hell beside Jake for what they've both done to me. He doesn't deserve to know that we could've had a beautiful family together if he hadn't lied to me, if he hadn't used me. Now I get to take something away from him."  
  
"Serena, you should be ashamed of yourself, thinking about using your own child against him. I didn't raise you this way, young lady, and I don't like it. If you do this, you will just stoop to Darien's level, only you'll be much worse. Darien used a consenting adult while you're using an unborn child. Do you think this is some schoolyard game where you get to stop playing if you get tired? I'm sorry to break this to you honey, but this is real life and you have no right to use another person, much less a child, to punish another," Ilene told her sternly. "Don't hate this child for what his or her father has done. Love this child _in_spite_ of what his father has done."  
  
Serena turned her face away from her mother so she wouldn't see the tears falling down her face. "I'll think about it," she replied stubbornly.   
  
"Serena, please don't do this," her mother pleaded.  
  
Serena got up and headed for the door. She paused and looked back her mother and smiled softly. "Thanks for the talk mama, but I haven't decided what to do yet. I will give it some time though, before I make up my mind, I promise. I love you," she added before she left the room.  
  
"I love you too, Serena. Please, don't make this mistake. If you do, you'll regret it for the rest of your life," Ilene whispered.  
  
**********************************  
  
Ilene had taken a turn for the worse in the week that followed her conversation with Serena. She was now bedridden and in constant pain. Sammy and Serena were by her side almost constantly when they weren't resting for a while in their rooms. Celeste had also taken a leave of absence so that she could tend to her dying sister. The four of them knew that it wouldn't be long before the inevitable. That night, Celeste had sat the kids down and told them that their mother would probably be gone by morning.  
  
"NO! We should take her to the hospital. The doctors can give her more medicine to make her feel better. She's strong; she can get through this," Sammy insisted, tears pouring down his face. "I won't let you stand here and tell me that my mom is dying!"  
  
"Sammy," his aunt gently chided, "she's in a lot of pain. I don't think she can hold out much longer." Celeste put her hand on her nephew's broad shoulder, which he shrugged away angrily. "Don't make this any harder for your mom."  
  
"Aunt Celeste is right, Sammy. You don't want mom to suffer any more than she already has, do you? She'll finally be free from all the pain once she gets to heaven. Plus, she'll be reunited with Daddy," Serena said as she hugged her younger brother. She felt his tears falling on the back of her neck. "Don't cry Sammy. Be happy for mom because she's going to be in a better place."  
  
Sammy broke down on Serena's shoulder. Celeste left the two of them alone and went to say goodbye to Ilene in private. "I don't want her to go, Sere," Sammy whispered. "When dad died, I thought that I would die too. Mama was the one who pulled us together as a family. When you tried to kill yourself and I found out what Jake had done to you, I blamed myself for not knowing what you were going through. Mom had a talk with me in my room after we got back from the hospital and explained to me that it wasn't my fault and that I couldn't have known. She's always been there for me- for us. If she goes, who will look after us?"   
  
Serena wiped away his tears. "She will look down on us from heaven with Daddy and make sure we're okay. We've got to be strong for her sake. We've got to show her that we'll be fine on our own and that she can rest now. Don't you want her to be happy and at peace when she _does_ leave us?"  
  
Sammy nodded his head reluctantly. "I'm scared Sere," he whispered.  
  
"I am too," she admitted. "But look at this from mom's point of view. She has one kid who has never gotten over his father's death and has never stopped blaming himself for what happened to his sister and another kid who can't quite make up her mind whether or not she's going to keep her baby. I'm sure mom doesn't want to leave us with all that's going on but she can't help it and I know that must make her feel like she's letting us down somewhat. We've got to tell her that we'll be here for each other so she doesn't have to worry about us. Can you do that?" she asked gently. Sammy nodded, wiping away the last of his tears. "I know it's hard Sammy, but we've got to do it for her sake. Mom has always sacrificed for us, it's our turn to sacrifice for her."  
  
Celeste had crept to the living room where brother and sister sat huddled on the couch. "Serena? Sammy? Your mom wants to talk to you. I think she wants to say goodbye," she said softly.  
  
Sammy and Serena stood up and walked down the hallway leading to their mother's room. Sammy took his sister's hand and squeezed it tightly. "I don't know if I can do this, Serena," he whispered.  
  
"You have to. Give her your blessing because like it or not, she's not going to make it to morning," she whispered back. She pushed the door open and both of them walked cautiously to their mother's bed, one on each side.  
  
Ilene's face had turned thin and pale from lack of food and rest. Her skin looked and felt clammy and her hair lacked its usual lustre. "Serena, Sammy, is that you?" she asked hoarsely.  
  
Serena took her mother's hand in her own and stroked it comfortingly. "Yeah mom, it's us. Aunt Celeste told us you wanted to say something."  
  
Ilene nodded weakly. "I just...I just wanted to say that I'm so proud of the two of you and what you've become despite all the hardships that you've gone through at such a young age. I also wanted to apologize..."  
  
"Apologize? For what?" Sammy asked, smoothing her hair away from her forehead.  
  
"I should have known what was going on all those years ago. If I had known what Jake was doing, I would've stopped him and your father wouldn't have gotten killed. You guys wouldn't have lost your father, Sammy would've been better able to cope with what's to come and Serena wouldn't have had to suffer as much. It's all my fault and I'm sorry I can't stay to fix it," Ilene replied, wincing as her body wracked in pain.  
  
"No mom, it's not your fault. Nothing is your fault. Sere and I will be just fine so don't worry about us. We'll always have each other and Aunt Celeste to watch over us, not to mention that you and dad will be watching us from heaven. I'd say we're plenty covered," Sammy comforted.  
  
"What about the baby?" Ilene asked.  
  
"I've made an appointment to see the OB/GYN in four days. It was the soonest she could squeeze me in," Serena said.  
  
"Are you going to keep it?" Ilene asked worriedly.  
  
Serena hesitated. "I'm not sure yet, mom. I'll wait until the appointment before I make up my mind."  
  
Ilene smiled wanly. "That's all I ask. I'll send you a sign from heaven when you've made your decision."  
  
Sammy and Serena let their tears flow. "If it's too hard for you mama, it's okay. We understand if you want to leave us. We don't want you to suffer anymore," Sammy said, taking her other hand.  
  
"Thank you. You've put my fears to rest and now I think I can join your father soon. I love you both so much," Ilene said softly, her breathing beginning to slow.  
  
Serena's stomach dropped. "We love you too mama."  
  
"We love you mom," Sammy chorused.  
  
Ilene smiled one last time and closed her eyes. Soon, her breathing became more laboured and her chest rose less and less frequently until it stopped altogether. Sammy put his head down on the bed and wept broken-heartedly.   
  
"Mama?" Serena whispered uncertainly. She felt her mother's wrist and found no pulse. She rose slightly and planted a kiss on her mother's forehead. "Goodbye mama."  
  
******************************  
  
Serena was sitting on the couch of her mother's home the day after the funeral. Many friends and family and come to give Sammy and Serena support in this difficult time. Close to three hundred people came to the funeral to pay their last respects to Ilene, many of whom were coworkers and friends that neither Serena nor Sammy had ever met. The service was lovely with Sammy delivering the eulogy and Serena, Celeste and other family members narrating various anecdotes about Ilene's life that made the mourners laugh and cry at the same time.   
  
Today, Sammy, Celeste and Serena had gathered at the house for the reading of the will an hour ago. It turns out that Ilene had saved up a substantial amount of cash through wise investing, life insurance policies in her name and Kenneth's, and her own common sense. She bequeathed to Serena and Sammy eighty percent of her money, totaling about half a million dollars. Ilene had left her sister with the rest of the money and whatever else from the house that her children didn't want to have. She left Sammy the deed to the summer cottage up north and Serena the deed to the house. All in all, Serena and her brother wouldn't have to worry about money for a long time.  
  
"So Serena..." began Celeste, "how are you feeling?"  
  
"I'm fine Aunt Celeste," Serena answered dully.  
  
"What are you going to do now? Are you going back to LA?"   
  
"I don't know yet. I have to make a decision about the baby first," she explained. "Could we talk about this later, Aunt Celeste? I have a splitting headache."  
  
"Sure dear. But if you do decide to stay here, I know for a fact that you can always have your job back at the hospital and that Sammy and I will be behind you one hundred percent," Celeste replied. Serena smiled and nodded her thanks before walking to her room and closing the door softly behind her.  
  
******************************  
  
"Ms. Mathis? Ms. Mathis?" the receptionist called.  
  
Serena broke out of her trance when she heard her name being called. "Yes, that's me."  
  
"The doctor will see you now," she replied. Just put on the gown and have a seat in the examining room. The doctor will be in shortly," the receptionist explained.  
  
Serena nodded and followed her instructions. She changed out of her clothes, noting the slight protrusion in her abdominal area and sat on the table. "Just because I'm seeing a doctor to have an ultrasound, doesn't mean I care one little bit about you," she told her stomach. "I just want to make sure you're okay, nothing more, nothing less."  
  
Just then, she heard a sharp knock on the door. "Are you ready for the examination?" Dr. Smith called from outside.  
  
"Yes doctor," she replied.  
  
The doctor opened the door and let herself in. Dr. Michelle Smith was a slim, graceful woman with shoulder length, wavy hair. "So Ms. Mathis. What is it that I could do for you today?"  
  
'You're the doctor, you tell me,' Serena thought. "I've come here for an ultrasound. I found out about a week ago that I'm about three months pregnant," she stated in a no-nonsense voice.  
  
"Are you sure you're three months along?" the doctor asked, consulting her file.  
  
"Yes. I know for a fact that this baby was conceived on July 14."  
  
"Well then, that means you'll have an April baby. Why don't you lay back so that we can begin the ultrasound? Will the baby's father be joining us?" the doctor asked.  
  
"No. The father will most definitely _not_ be joining us," Serena replied harshly. Dr. Smith nodded her head in understanding and lifted the bottom of the paper gown over Serena's stomach.  
  
"Now this will feel a little cold," she warned as she squirted the jelly-like substance used for ultrasounds. Serena gasped as the stuff made contact with her skin. Soon, the doctor had was moving the sonographer around her stomach until she found what she was looking for. "There's your baby," she said.  
  
Serena reluctantly looked at the screen and saw a tiny figure floating around in a sea of black. "See, there's his head and his stomach. That's one of his arms right here," the doctor pointed out.  
  
"He?"   
  
"Forgive me, it's a little too early to tell but I've gotten so used to addressing all fetuses this way. But it looks to me like your baby is perfectly healthy. Look, he's even sucking his thumb," Dr. Smith replied, pointing out the tiny arm crooked towards it's equally tiny mouth.  
  
"What's that sound?" Serena asked.  
  
"That really fast thumping sound is your baby's heartbeat," she replied.  
  
"Is it supposed to be that fast?"   
  
Dr. Smith beamed. "It's perfectly natural. It'll slow down once he gets older. I'm going to leave you for a minute so that you can get acquainted with your baby."  
  
When Dr. Smith had left, Serena traced her finger along the outline of the baby's head on the monitor. 'That's my baby,' she thought, tears coming to her eyes. 'That's my baby's heartbeat and that's his finger and those are his toes.' Suddenly, she felt a surge of pride as she looked at her unborn child. 'Hello little one. I'm your mommy.'  
  
Dr. Smith came back with a videotape in her hand. "Would you like me to tape this and take his first picture?"  
  
Serena nodded eagerly. "Yes please. I can't wait to show my brother and aunt when I get home." Dr. Smith printed out the sonograph as she was taping the baby's movements.   
  
"There. Your baby's first picture and first home video. Take these prenatal vitamins everyday with a meal and make another appointment to see me about two weeks from now," she said as she handed Serena some vitamins. "I don't think I have to tell you not to smoke or drink anything while you're pregnant and you should get plenty of rest, relaxation and healthy food. Take care."  
  
"Thank you doctor, you don't know what this means to me," Serena said, clutching the video and picture tighter to her chest. She walked out of the doctor's office after booking an appointment to see the doctor in the next two weeks. She hailed a cab and asked to be taken to Pine Hills Cemetery.   
  
When she got there, she trudged up the path she walked barely three days ago. She stopped at her mother's freshly dug grave which was right beside her father's grass-covered one. Serena knelt down and brushed away some leaves that had fallen over her father's grave marker.   
  
"See Daddy? This is going to be my baby and you're going to be a grandfather," she said softly as she waved her child's picture towards the heavens. "I've decided to keep him, mama. How could I not keep this precious child?" She stayed there for another half hour, talking to her parents about her fears on becoming a parent when, just as she was about to leave, a white rock dove flew over her head. Serena looked up as a single feather fell down and onto her lap beside the picture in her hand.   
  
~~ "I'll send you a sign from heaven when you've made your decision." ~~  
  
Her mother's voice seemed to call to her in the breeze. Serena smiled and picked up the feather, tracing it over the picture. "Thank you mama," she whispered. Finally, she got up and called another cab to take her home.  
  
As soon as she got home, she headed straight to the phone and dialed a number. "Hello, Delta Airlines? How may I help you?" a nasally voice droned.  
  
"Yes, I'd like to book a flight to LA tomorrow please, round trip," Serena replied.  
  
"Just a minute," the voice said before she put her on hold.  
  
'Darien has taken my heart and my dignity away, I'll be damned if he takes my child away too,' she thought darkly. Suddenly, the voice came back. "Yes, my name is Serena Mathis and I'd like to book a flight to LA...no, I won't be staying there long. Probably not even overnight...yes...yes..."  
  
************************************************************************  
  
Read and review please! Sean, funny how you came up with a plethora of your own questions. Let's make a deal. I'll stop bugging you for plotlines and you stop with the insightful Barbara Walters questions, k? Just hurry it up with the next chapter please! 


	11. Missed Opportunities

************************************************************************  
  
Wounded Souls   
  
Chapter Ten-Missed Opportunities  
  
By: ~crystal~rose{@  
  
June 14, 2002  
  
*******************************  
  
*11 am*  
  
Darien sighed as he passed by Serena's bedroom door on his way to the stairs. 'It's been practically two months and we haven't heard anything about when she's coming back,' he thought as he laid a hand upon her door. He has a recurring fantasy that one day, he would open the door to Serena's room and find her standing on the balcony.   
  
In his fantasy, she turns around at the sudden noise and sees him standing at the door. Serena cries out in surprise and then rushes into his astonished arms when the shock wears off. Serena tells him how much she's missed him and he in turn, professes his undying love for her. Then they fall on the bed laying in each other's arms-not making love; that will come later-thankful just to be reunited once again. As he had done day after day, Darien opened the door and was once again treated to the sight of an empty room. He closed the door, and fought the urge to scream in frustration.  
  
He raked his hand through his hair as he started down the stairs. He spotted Molly in the foyer, arranging freshly cut roses in a crystal vase on the hall table. "Hey Molly, do you know where my parents are?" he asked.  
  
Molly gave a start and turned around to face him. "Goodness Darien, you startled me! The last time I saw your parents was when they were in the gym with the new physical trainer. I don't think your father likes him very much," she whispered confidentially.   
  
Darien chuckled and leaned in closer. "What makes you think that?" he asked sarcastically. They shared a laugh as they recalled the numerous physical trainers that came and went in the past eight weeks. "Remember the one that left in tears because dad constantly teased her about her hair?"  
  
Molly nodded her head eagerly. "Your mother was furious with your father for making her cry. I remember he just shrugged and said, 'if she can't take a little constructive criticism, then she's not long for this world. I just told her that her perm is too tight and that she looked like an overgrown poodle standing on its hind legs. How was I supposed to know that it was naturally curly?' She was the fourth one in two weeks that he tried out. I think Mr. Shields has exhausted the list that Dr. Anderson-I mean Dr. Harris-gave him. This new guy is the last one the list," she said knowingly.  
  
Darien shook his head in amazement. Sometimes the maids knew more about the goings on in his family than he did. "Well, it was nice chatting with you. I'll just head on down to the gym and save the new guy from the wrath of dad."  
  
Molly watched Darien walk away in the direction of the gym. She knew that Serena had been avoiding him in the house; it was obvious to everyone. Every Friday evening, she and her two fellow maids would gather in Lita's room for their weekly poker game/gossip fest. The main topic of discussion would usually be about what had happened between Darien and Serena. Personally, Molly thought that Serena found out about Darien's womanizing and was jealous. Lita, on the other hand, thought they slept together one evening and Darien rejected her the next day. 'I guess we'll never know,' Molly thought before resuming her previous task.  
  
**************************  
  
Darien could hear his father's voice clearly from the outside of the gym. "Listen here, sonny. I will _not_ have another man massaging me. I don't care how professional you think you are, I _won't_do_it!" Walter shouted. Darien entered the gym to find his father standing in front of a tall, muscular man with wavy blond hair and piercing blue eyes.   
  
"WALTER!" cried Candace, who was standing on the other side of the physical trainer, thus blocked from Darien's view. She turned apologetically at the man. "Please excuse my husband Bjorn. He didn't mean to insult you or your work ethics. Why don't we try again tomorrow, right _Walter_?" she said in a tone that brooked no arguments.  
  
Walter crossed his arms stubbornly across his chest and nodded once. "Fine. But I warn you, if you touch me in any way that even _hints_ of a massage, you're out of here."  
  
Bjorn looked tiredly at Candace and sighed. "Of course, Mr. Shields," he intoned in a thick Swedish accent with as much respect as he could muster. "See you tomorrow Mrs. Shields."  
  
Darien nodded a greeting to the retreating man muttering Swedish words, no doubt cursing the day he ever set foot in America and had the unfortunate luck to have to work with Walter Shields. He leaned down and gave his mother a kiss on the cheek. "So, I take it that Bjorn isn't working out like we had hoped?" he asked mischievously.   
  
"Bjorn is just fine, dear. Your father is the one who insists on making things hard for everybody. Poor Bjorn just wanted to give your father a massage to soothe his muscles after their work-out but your father chose to react like a baby. He called me down here from the greenhouse in a snit because Bjorn 'touched my person inappropriately.'" Walter crossed his arms in righteous indignation.  
  
"He did! He looked like he was undressing me with his eyes before rubbing my neck and shoulders in a _sexual_ manner," Walter said matter-of-factly to his highly amused son.  
  
Darien was listening to his father trying hard not to burst into laughter. "Are you _sure_ it was sexual, dad? Maybe you're just being too sensitive," he suggested delicately.  
  
"Of _course_ it was sexual! I heard him sigh when his fingers touched my shoulders, like he's been dying to do it all day! I want him gone, Candace!" he roared to his wife.  
  
Candace rolled her eyes in exasperation. "Maybe he was sighing because working with you all day is wearing him down. Maybe he thinks that working with a cantankerous old goat like you isn't worth the money we're paying him!"   
  
"For the money we're paying him, he should be willing to do just about anything I tell him to do," argued Walter.  
  
"Including giving you a massage?" suggested Darien innocently.  
  
Walter shot Darien a look of pure venom, causing him to raise his hands in defense. "Is there something we can do for you, _son_?" he asked irritably.  
  
Darien turned to his mother, trying to appeal to her sympathy. He smiled, maybe even gloated, at his dad when Candace patted his cheek fondly. "I just wanted to tell you that I'm going to be gone most of the day so if someone from work calls, tell them I'm unavailable. The guys and I made plans to take the horses out on a ride around the trails this afternoon," he replied.  
  
"That's fine, dear. Why don't you get Lita to make you boys something to eat while you're out on the trail?" she suggested.   
  
"Already taken care of," Darien said. "I called Lita earlier and asked her to make sandwiches for us. Knowing Lita, she probably packed us a gourmet lunch, complete with silverware and fine china."  
  
The doorbell rang. Soon, Melvin appeared at the gym doors with three men. "Mr. Shields, your guests have arrived," he said respectfully.  
  
"Melvin, how many times have I told you to call me Darien?" he asked with one eyebrow raised. Melvin flushed and adjusted his glasses nervously.  
  
"Um, by my count sir, sixty-four," he answered meekly. Darien laughed good-naturedly and patted Melvin on the back, causing him to stagger into Drew.  
  
"Uh, sorry about that Mel," Darien apologized as he helped Melvin up. Greg elbowed Chad in the ribs to stop him from laughing at the poor butler who was desperately trying to regain his dignity.  
  
"That's quite all right, sir-I mean Darien," Melvin answered.  
  
"Why hello Mrs. Shields. I must say I didn't expect to see you here in the gym," Chad exclaimed, pretending to have just noticed Candace.  
  
"Oh, and why is that, Chad?" she asked, the beginnings of a smile forming on her lips.  
  
"Well, it's just that you're already so beautiful I can't imagine there being any more room for improvement," he flirted shamelessly. Darien rolled his eyes and was about to say something when Walter cut him off.  
  
"Don't you have a horse to ride, _boy_?"   
  
Candace bit back the urge to laugh. It never hurts to have men fawning over you, no matter what the age. "Come now, Walter dear, Chad was just being his normal polite self, weren't you dear?"  
  
"Yes ma'am. And may I just complement you on your-" Chad couldn't finish his sentence because Darien and Drew began hauling him out the door. "It was nice seeing you again, Mrs. Shields," he called behind him. A resounding smack echoed off the walls, undoubtedly delivered by Darien.  
  
"How many times have I told you _not_ to flirt with my mother?"  
  
"I can't help it, Darien. Your mom's hot. You know I like older women..." Chad pleaded.  
  
THWAP!  
  
"If you _ever_ say that about my mother, ever again, I swear to God I'm going to kill you," threatened Darien.  
  
"Can a man help it if he happens to notice true beauty?" asked Chad rhetorically.  
  
THWAP!  
  
************************  
  
*11:25 am*  
  
Darien and his friends had been gone for about fifteen minutes already when the doorbell rang yet again. Melvin rushed from his post and threw open the door, only to stare open-mouthed in surprise. Serena stood before him in a loose fitting, empire-waist black dress with an expectant look upon her face.  
  
"Melvin? Can I come in?"   
  
"Oh! Of course, Serena. Where are your bags?" he asked when he snapped out of his trance.  
  
Serena gave him a small grin as she stepped through the door. "I don't have any. Could you please tell me where Mr. and Mrs. Shields are?" she asked in a business-like tone.  
  
"Sure. The last time I saw them, they were in the gym. Would you like me to take you there?" he offered kindly.  
  
"That's okay Melvin. I remember the way," she replied politely.  
  
"That's great. It sure was nice to see you...again," Melvin finished weakly as he realized that she was already gone. He shrugged and went back to work.  
  
Serena made her way to the gym, desperately hoping that she wouldn't run into Darien. She paused outside the gym, listening to Walter and Candace talking inside.  
  
"I told you, that Bjorn tried to take advantage of me," Walter insisted.  
  
"Take advantage of you? Listen dear, I know he's not like Serena but you're just going to have to be a little more adult about this. You can't keep sabotaging your own recovery because you don't like your new physical trainers," Candace said, her patience wearing thin.  
  
"You weren't here when that...that brute tried to get his hands all over me!" sputtered Walter.   
  
"What's this I hear about you sabotaging your recovery, Mr. Shields?" Serena asked, stepping into the gym.  
  
"Serena!" exclaimed Candace. "It's so good to see you! How's your mom?" Serena looked pointedly at her outfit and Candace immediately understood. "Oh sweetie, I'm so sorry. When..."  
  
"Five days ago. We buried her the day before yesterday," she replied tonelessly.  
  
Walter stepped forward and patted her on the back consolingly. "That's too bad, girlie. I know she loved you and your brother very much. I could see it every time she looked at you," he said. Serena bit the inside of her cheek to keep from crying. "Does this mean..."  
  
"I've decided to move back home, Mr. Shields. I'm really sorry about not giving you advance notice but I was just so preoccupied with mom and the funeral, Sammy..." she trailed off helplessly. "I just came back to get my things."  
  
Candace looked at Serena sadly. "When are you leaving?" she asked.   
  
"My return flight is this afternoon at five," Serena replied, not looking at them. "I have to be at the airport by three because of the traffic and the new rules regarding baggage checking."  
  
Candace put her arm on her husband's shoulder, which she could tell was tensing. "Of course, dear. We understand. Alan could drive you to the airport when you're ready," she offered.  
  
Serena smiled in gratitude, relieved that they weren't asking more questions. "Thank you Candace, Mr. Shields, for the hospitality you've shown me in the months I've been here. If you'll excuse me, I have a lot of packing to do."  
  
"Sure dear. I'll just give your phone a ring when it's lunch time," Candace replied. When Serena was gone, she quickly headed to the phone and dialed an extension number. Walter looked at her curiously. "I'm calling the stable," she explained. "I'm trying to get a hold of Darien to tell him to come back before Serena leaves."  
  
Walter nodded his head in approval. "Good thinking. See if you can convince girlie to stay. I don't want that man's hands on me again," he said, repressing a shudder.  
  
After about thirty seconds, Candace hung up. "They're already gone," she said, her face downcast.  
  
"Well, get that stable hand to chase him down. What's his name again? Frankie?" Walter asked.  
  
"His name is Freddy, dear," his wife replied patiently, "and we can't do that. He took a week off to visit his family in Santa Monica for a wedding or something."  
  
Walter scowled angrily as he tried to contain the growl lodged in his throat. "What do we pay these people for? I have a slew of incompetents trying to bend my body into a pretzel-one of whom tried to sexually harass me, but you couldn't care less about that-and house staff taking weeks off at a time without notifying me!" he yelled.  
  
"The physical trainers we hired were hardly incompetents and Bjorn certainly didn't sexually harass you," Candace informed him. "The staff are entitled to take holidays every now and then. Freddy asked me if I could grant him some time off this week a month ago. I didn't see anything wrong with it at the time so I said yes."  
  
"That's the matter with you, Candace. You're too soft," he grumbled.  
  
"You certainly didn't have any complaints about my being soft last night," she said coyly, wrapping her arms around his neck. Walter coughed as she kissed his earlobe. "Or this morning for that matter. I think all that exercise you do with Bjorn is paying off," she teased.  
  
"Yes...well..." he replied in a high pitched voice before giving in to his wife's seductions. "You always were my sweet Candy, you know that?"  
  
"Damn straight and if I have to fight off Bjorn for your attention, so be it."  
  
Walter kissed her tenderly on the lips. "Bjorn doesn't have anything on you, my dear. He's a bit too tall for me. Why don't we finish this off in our room?"  
  
Candace giggled and tried to look shocked. "Why Mr. Shields, I do believe that you're trying to seduce me. Whatever shall I do?"  
  
"How about me?"  
  
"Mmm, you read my mind. Let's go," she said as she tugged on his hand. They raced to the top of the stairs and slammed their bedroom door shut behind them.  
  
**************************  
  
*12 pm-Shields mansion*  
  
When Serena got to her room, she decided to take a rest before she started packing. Traveling was usually a tiring experience, especially when she would be back on the plane in a few hours, but Serena realized that traveling pregnant was another story. Her body was more fatigued than when she first came here. 'I hope I don't run into Darien today. He's the last person I want to see,' she told herself. Still, she couldn't help but glance at his bedroom door as she was entering hers, and wonder what he was doing.  
  
The phone rang suddenly in the quiet room, startling her and causing her to almost roll off the bed. "Hello?"   
  
"Serena dear, it's Candace. Lita has just informed me that lunch will be ready in a few minutes."  
  
"That's great. I'll be down soon," she answered back and hung up the phone. She rose from the bed and looked at her reflection in the mirror. 'It's not yet noticeable. It just looks like I gained some weight, nothing more. I can still fit into some of my baggier clothes. I don't think my stomach will really start to get round until the fifth month.'  
  
On her way downstairs, she ran into Molly. "Hey Molly, how are you?" she asked, giving her a hug, being careful not to press her stomach just incase Molly felt it and roused suspicion. She knew about their Friday night poker games although they denied it, and knew that they held gossip sessions while they played.  
  
"I'm doing fine. I heard about your mom and I just wanted to say how sorry I am. I only met her for that week she was here but she was a really nice lady. Now I know where you get it from," Molly said, giving Serena a look over. She noticed that Serena had put on a little weight but didn't say anything, preferring to save it for Friday night's 'poker game'. "So, are you staying here now?"  
  
Serena shook her head and looked down. "No, I just came back to pack up the rest of my things. I'm only here for a few hours; I fly back home this afternoon."  
  
"Already?" Molly asked incredulously. 'Hmm. Why so soon?' she asked herself. "It's too bad you missed Darien. He'll be gone all day."  
  
"Yeah, that's too bad," Serena murmured distractedly. "Listen Moll, I've gotta go; Candace called me down for lunch a few minutes ago. It was nice seeing you again. Say bye to me before I leave, okay?"   
  
"Sure thing, Serena," she replied, watching Serena go down the stairs carefully, hanging on to the banister as if for dear life. 'What _really_ happened between those two?' she wondered to herself.  
  
Serena walked slowly to the dining room, ever on the lookout for a certain raven-haired unwitting father-to-be. 'I can never be too careful, despite what Molly said about him being gone all day. If Darien ever finds out I'm pregnant, I may never see my child after I give birth,' she thought. She finally reached the dining room without incident and found Walter and Candace already seated, waiting for her arrival.  
  
"Sorry I kept you waiting," she apologized as she sat down in her seat. "I ran into Molly and we caught up with each other."  
  
Candace smiled understandingly and handed her a platter of grilled honey garlic chicken breasts, which she took gratefully. "There's no need to apologize, dear. We just got here ourselves."  
  
"Yes. Candace and I 'caught up' with each other too," said Walter, reaching out for Candace's hand. Serena watched husband and wife exchange loving glances and looked down at her lap. 'I feel bad for resenting their happiness with each other but I can't help it. Why can't I find the same kind of happiness?'  
  
Candace noticed Serena looking down and immediately pulled away from her amorous husband. "Walter dear, we've embarrassed Serena," she pointed out. Serena snapped her head up and immediately started to say the contrary. "Nonsense dear, I know how it is with you young people. Darien gets the same way when my husband and I get all lovey-dovey."  
  
Serena's leg twitched at the sound of Darien's name and she twisted the napkin on her lap anxiously. "I just didn't want to intrude on your moment, Candace. I think what you two have is nice, and that everyone should be so lucky," she said, a little wistfully Candace noted. Wanting to change the topic, she turned to Walter, who was just about to start eating. "So Mr. Shields, how's your rehab coming along?"  
  
Walter scowled in remembrance of the weeks that came after she left. "It's coming along fine; I just wish I could say the same for the trainers."  
  
Serena looked at him in concern. "Didn't Amy give you a list of physical trainers that she recommends?" she asked. It wasn't like Amy to forget about a patient in need of care.  
  
"Oh Amy sent us a list, all right," Candace said, interrupting Walter, "but my husband has totally exhausted it. The longest anyone stayed on was four days, and that's only because I begged her to stay until we can find another replacement."  
  
"I don't understand. When I spoke to Amy, she told me that she found the twelve most highly recommended physical trainers in California, Oregon and Nevada." Candace rolled her eyes toward Walter.   
  
"It's not the physical trainers who have a problem, it's my husband. You see, he feels the need to 'challenge' his new trainers constantly so he insults them and annoys them to the point where they're practically begging to be fired. One young man quit when Walter tricked him into eating a hamburger by telling him it was a veggie burger, in spite of the fact that he was a vegetarian."  
  
"Mr. Shields!" admonished Serena. "How could you?" Yet despite her outraged tone, Serena couldn't help but smile a little.  
  
"Ah, you see that Candace, at least _someone_ appreciates a good joke!" Walter exclaimed, pointing to Serena's amused face. "Besides, one hamburger isn't going to kill him; everyone needs a little meat once in a while."  
  
"You just did him a favour, right Mr. Shields?" Serena asked wryly. "But seriously, why have you chased them away?"  
  
Walter shrugged carelessly. "I just wanted to learn something about their personalities, that's all. If they quit because of the way I acted, then they didn't have the right character for the job. I don't work with quitters." Serena nodded her head in understanding.  
  
"I see. It was just a little test for them, huh? Why didn't you pull any of your tricks with me?"   
  
"You're different. There's something about you that tells me you've experienced your fair share of trials and tribulations in your life that a little mischief caused by a grumpy old man isn't going to make you up and leave. In fact, I think it would just make you that much more determined to finish the job," Walter explained astutely.  
  
For the first time in her life, Serena felt as if someone who didn't know about her past understood why she was so determined to prove to herself and the world that she could accomplish anything she put her mind on. She felt like the actions and decisions that led her to this moment were finally being validated, earning her the approval to return into society, free from the cross of shame that she bore. She smiled at Walter in appreciation for his understanding. In an odd way, Serena knew that Walter knew what she was feeling at that very moment because he nodded his head almost imperceptibly.  
  
"So girlie, what are you going to do when you get back home?" Walter asked after a comfortable silence settled upon them.  
  
"Well, my mother left me her house before she died so I'm going to stay there. My aunt has agreed to stay with me for the next few months to help me get settled in. I've taken my old position back at the hospital where I used to work with the understanding that I'm going to get promoted to department head next year when the current head retires," she explained. Before she left for the airport that morning in Toronto, someone from the board of directors at the hospital called her and offered her not only her old job back, but also the promotion to head of the physical therapy department. She was surprised to learn that her aunt had been responsible for this development, having bumped into a board member and learning of the difficulty they had filling Serena's position when she left. Knowing that Serena was pregnant and wasn't sure what she was going to do about her situation, Celeste told the board member that with the right incentive, Serena may be persuaded to take it again.  
  
"I'll pay you triple what that hospital is paying you right now, plus recommend you for a job at Cedars-Sinai once I've recovered," Walter offered in a tone that sounded suspiciously like an order.  
  
Serena bit her lip as she thought about the offer that was just presented before her. Under different circumstances, she would have jumped at the chance, regardless of her situation with Darien. But she had to think about the baby, and the likelihood that he or she would be taken away from her if Darien ever found out she was carrying his child. "I'm sorry Mr. Shields, but I'm afraid I'm going to have to turn your generous offer down," she replied.  
  
Walter, who had been hoping she would take the offer, wasn't surprised to hear her turn it down. "May I ask why?"  
  
"Well, I just feel like my place is back home with my brother and aunt. Sammy had a really hard time dealing with mom's death and I don't feel right leaving him so soon after she died. We promised mom to support each other before she passed on, and I want to keep that promise," she explained. It was the truth, even though it wasn't the whole truth. She was scared to death at the thought of losing her child, especially after having lost so much already.   
  
Candace nodded and glowered at Walter, whom she could see was about to coerce Serena into changing her mind. Walter took the hint, for once, and decided to back off. Candace patted Serena's hand gently. "If that's what you think is best, Serena dear, then we'll support you all the way."  
  
*******************************  
  
*12 pm-somewhere on the trail*  
  
"You guys want to stop now?" asked Darien.  
  
Drew, Chad and Greg nodded eagerly. They dismounted their horses and let them graze around for grass while they tore into the packs that Lita had provided.   
  
"Oh sweet, Lita packed us some wicked looking chicken sandwiches!" Chad rubbed his hands greedily when he discovered what lay inside the Tupperware container. Lita had placed grilled honey garlic chicken breasts between Kaiser rolls-the very same chicken breasts Serena and Darien's parents were eating at that very moment-with slices of tomato, onion and lettuce for toppings.   
  
Darien's mouth watered when he tore open another container in his pack. "Oh man! Lita threw in some brownies too!"  
  
"Look at this, she made us some of her fruit punch!" Greg said, gleefully waving around a thermos.   
  
"What do I have here?" wondered Drew as he eagerly opened his container. "Salad? Why do you guys get to carry the fun stuff while I get boring old salad?" The disappointment and scorn in his voice wasn't hard to miss.  
  
Darien slapped him on the back soundly. "You know what they say, 'you are what you eat.'"  
  
Chad and Greg laughed while Drew scowled at Darien, who was busily smirking at him. "Maybe Lita thinks that the food one carries should reflect one's maturity level. For example, Greg got the drinks because he's such a wet blanket; Darien got the desserts because he likes to have his cake and eat it too; and Chad got the chicken for obvious reasons," Drew said, sitting down on a tree stump and digging into the food.  
  
"Hey!"  
  
"I resent that!"  
  
"What do you mean I like to have my cake and eat it too?" Darien asked, ignoring the righteous indignation of his friends.  
  
"Well Darien, why do you love Serena so much?" Andrew asked.  
  
"Easy. She's beautiful inside and out, she's charming, she's patient, she's perfect." Andrew raised his eyebrow skeptically.  
  
"She's perfect? Nobody's perfect Darien, not even Serena. Do you know what her fears are? Do you know what the skeletons in her closet are?"   
  
"No, but I bet you do," countered Darien.  
  
"That's my point. I've _asked_ what her fears are, I've _asked_ her what she's been hiding all these years," explained Drew. "Even though it's part of my job, I've actually taken the time to listen to what she has to say. You have fallen in love with just the surface, Darien. Serena is more than just a pretty face. She has seen and experienced more as a child than we ever have as adults. You are content to love the superficial part of Serena, without digging deeper into the heart of her. You want her to love you, but you don't want your perfect image of Serena to be spoiled by finding out more about her dark side-the side that she keeps hidden from everybody, including herself. You flirt with her, do things to get in her good graces, but have you ever just _talked_ to her?"  
  
Darien said nothing as he pondered his friend's words. Was it true? Was his love for Serena really that shallow? His mind went over all his encounters with Serena, trying to determine whether Andrew's words were true or not. He remembered the fourth of July, when Serena made that comment about her boyfriends not being special enough to take the trouble to meet their parents. He had wondered what she was trying to say in that sentence, but felt that it wasn't his place to intrude. 'Or maybe I didn't ask because I didn't want to know? She could have been reaching out for me that day, and I just blew her off.' He remained silent, preferring to keep his thoughts to himself.  
  
"Whoa, that was deep man," Chad said to Andrew, a look of awe upon his face. Greg nodded his head in agreement. "Who knew that your psychobabble would one day make sense?"  
  
Andrew scowled at his newest disciple. "I wasn't trying to undermine your feelings for Serena, Darien. I was just trying to make you see that there's more to Serena than just her beauty and that to love her, you have to love _all_ of her."  
  
"Thanks Drew," he replied distantly. Inside, his mind was racing. 'Was that why she kept giving me the cold shoulder? Because I took her for granted? I swear, the next time I see her, it'll be different. _I'll_ be different. I'll be more attentive to her needs, listen to whatever she has to say, be a better person. I'll make my love worthy of her,' he vowed firmly.  
  
*********************************  
  
*2:30 pm-Shields house*  
  
Serena had been busily packing in her room for about an hour and was just about finished when she heard a quiet knock on the door, thunderous because of the silence in the room. She walked cautiously to the door, trying to calm her nerves and opened it just a crack. Serena sighed in relief when she saw Walter standing in the hall and not Darien.  
  
"Is there something I can do for you, Mr. Shields?" she asked politely as she let him in. Walter strode past her without saying a word and sat down in one of the armchairs in front of the fireplace. Taking the hint, Serena sat down in the other chair beside him.  
  
"So girlie, what's the _real_ reason you're leaving all of a sudden?" Walter asked bluntly. Serena gripped the upholstered arm of the chair and raised her eyebrow.  
  
"Real reason? What are you talking about?" Serena asked, feigning innocence.  
  
"You're leaving because of Darien, aren't you? Something happened between the two of you the night he returned from the bachelor party and now you're running back home," Walter concluded, watching Serena's reaction carefully. He thought he saw a flicker of fear flash across her face, but it was gone just as quickly as it had appeared.   
  
"What are you talking about? Darien has nothing to do with my decision. I got a job offer and I want to grieve my mother's death with my brother and aunt," Serena said, her tone getting louder with each word.   
  
"That's not the only reason you're leaving. There's something else that you're running away from and, forgive me for saying this, you're using your mother's death as an excuse to do it." Serena's face went from fear to shock to outrage in a matter of seconds.  
  
"How _dare_ you accuse me of such a thing! Nothing happened between Darien and me. I don't know where you got your information from, but I can assure you, it's wrong." Walter crossed his arms and leaned back in his seat.  
  
"I have an eyewitness account of the night you and Darien were in the kitchen after he came back from the bachelor party, kissing passionately before he whisked you off to his room." Serena's face paled and her eyes widened almost comically. Walter would have burst into laughter had the situation not been so serious.  
  
"Who?" she asked, her voice trembling.  
  
"Me." Serena was stunned to say the least. If it were anyone but Walter, she could have refuted the account by questioning the credibility of the witness, but now she couldn't so much as deny it ever happened. At her questioning look, Walter continued. "I went downstairs for some of Lita's cookies a few minutes after I heard Darien come home. When I got to the kitchen, I saw the light on and figured he went in there for a snack too. When I opened the door, I saw you sitting on his lap, kissing him. Before I knew it, Darien had you in his arms and carried you upstairs to his room for the night, I suppose."  
  
Serena blinked away her tears and clenched her jaw. There was no denying it anymore; he saw everything. Thankfully, Walter didn't hear Darien 'profess' his love for her, nor did he hear her foolishly return it. If she played her cards right, things may still go her way after all. "All right, I admit it. We slept together that night but it's not what you think. Darien was drunk that night and I was a little lonely. I guess one thing led to another and we wound up in bed together. My decision to move back home has nothing to do with that night or Darien."  
  
"Why do I find that hard to believe?"  
  
"I don't know but it's the truth. Darien doesn't even know who he slept with that night and I prefer to keep it that way, if you don't mind," she said, trying to keep her tone light.  
  
"What do you mean he doesn't remember?" Walter probed.  
  
"He mixed drinks and medication at the same time, causing the alcohol to become more potent in his system. In other words, he was barely able to distinguish the world around him. None of what happened afterwards was his fault because he didn't even know what was happening to him at the time. I'm afraid I was the one who took advantage of the situation and...well, seduced him," she said, pretending to be sheepish.  
  
Walter raised his eyebrow skeptically. "Now, why would you do a thing like that?"  
  
Serena shrugged looked down at the carpet. "I felt lonely that night so I went down the kitchen and, much like yourself, had some of Lita's cookies. I was depressed at the thought of being the last of my friends to be single and I guess I thought Darien would take away that loneliness for a few hours. Please believe me Mr. Shields; I don't make it a habit of seducing men when they're vulnerable. I'm so ashamed of my actions and I don't want Darien to find out what I did because then he'll hate me. Please don't tell him," she begged desperately.  
  
Walter looked at Serena for a moment, wondering what he should do. He didn't believe her story about seducing Darien because she was 'lonely'. If he knew his son, the situation would have been reversed with him doing the seducing. No, something just didn't add up. Why would she be covering up for Darien? Still, her story could be plausible if it were true- which he seriously doubted. He watched Serena bite her lip in nervous anticipation of his verdict, trying not to look concerned. Finally, he nodded his head, vowing silently to get to the bottom of the situation eventually.  
  
Serena breathed a sigh of relief and relaxed her body visibly. "You know, you really should tell my son what happened before you leave. He loves you very much and your leaving without a word would just break his heart," Walter said.  
  
Serena inhaled sharply and fought the wave of despair that just washed over her. "He doesn't love me, Mr. Shields. My leaving might sadden him for a day or so, but I certainly don't think he'd be devastated if I left. There's plenty of fish in the sea, and from what I've noticed about Darien, he's determined to sample them all. He'll find another woman soon enough and he'll forget I ever existed," she replied flippantly on the outside, but on the inside, her heart was breaking into a million pieces. She congratulated herself on being able to say those words convincingly and with a straight face.  
  
Walter shook his head in disagreement. "You've got it wrong, girlie. I've known my son longer than you, and you're the first woman he's ever been remotely interested in ever since that whole fiasco with Ann five years ago," he said.  
  
"Ann?" Serena asked, tilting her head to the side.  
  
"Ann Roberts was Darien's girlfriend of two years a while ago. They were very serious about each other from the start and it looked like he was on the verge of proposing to her when out of the blue, he announces that he's ended their relationship. He told reporters that the split was amicable and that he wished her all the best, but in reality, their split was very bitter. Darien isn't aware of this, but Candace and I found out from Molly that he saw her in bed with another person," he confided.  
  
"She cheated on him with another man?"   
  
"No, she was cheating on him with Beryl Stone, her college roommate. Molly told me that he was so furious that he threw them out of his bed and into the hallway naked, then threw their clothing in a heap in front of them. I saw on the bank statements a month later that Darien had made out a substantial cheque paid to the order of Ann Roberts. From everything that's happened, my guess is that Darien paid her off to keep her quiet as to the real reason they broke up."  
  
"How did Molly find out what happened and how did you come to find out from her?"  
  
Walter grinned mysteriously. "Darien had been in a miserable mood the whole week after the breakup so Candace and I made an appearance at one of their 'poker' games to find out what was bothering him. Molly said that she had been cleaning this very room and could hear noises coming from my son's room. She figured it was just Darien and Ann so she thought nothing of it, until she opened the door to leave and saw Darien walking up the stairs. She ducked back in the room before he saw her, but left the door open just a crack so she could see what went on. She told us that Darien opened the door and just stood there in shock. A second later, he walked in and started shouting. Molly heard screams and stuff being thrown around. All of a sudden, two naked women stumbled out of Darien's room and fell on the floor. Ann was pleading him to give her another chance but all Darien did was fling some clothes at them and banish them from our home. The next day, Darien told his mother and me that he's broken things off with Ann for good."   
  
In a weird way, Serena felt sorry for Darien after hearing about this chapter of his life. He must have been heartbroken after finding out that his first love cheated on him with another woman, in his own bed no less, but she had to stick to her plan. "And you're telling me this, why?" she asked tiredly.  
  
"I'm telling you this because ever since then, Darien had been going through women like they were Dixie cups: quick, easy to use and disposable. It's almost as if he's taking his hurt out on other women by using them and throwing them away before they have the chance to hurt him. With you, he's different. I haven't seen strange, scantily clad women walking around my house, trying to worm their way into his life ever since you moved in. You've changed my son for the better; you've turned him from a hurt little boy into a man. Please don't just leave without saying goodbye to him," Walter pleaded.  
  
Serena listened to his impassioned speech, going over Walter's words with a fine-toothed comb in an effort to sort out fact from fiction. What she came up with was plainly obvious in her perspective. Fact: Darien had been burned once and wasn't quite willing to get burned again. Fact: he used women to get revenge on his former love, regardless of their feelings. Fact: she was a woman and therefore had to be punished for his ex-girlfriend's indiscretion. Fiction: he meant it when said that he loved her because in Fact: he didn't.   
  
She smiled regretfully at Walter and shook her head. "You're giving me too much credit for something I didn't even do. Maybe Darien's changed of his own accord. He doesn't love me; you're reading too much into our...friendship."  
  
"What about you, aren't you in love with him?" he asked.  
  
"There is _nothing_ between us, Mr. Shields," she replied firmly.  
  
"That isn't what I asked."  
  
'This chess game has gone on long enough,' Serena thought impatiently. "I'm sorry to say that I don't love him. He's a wonderful person and I'll always treasure the friendship that we had but I _have_ to go back home and move on with my life. Please try and understand that."  
  
Walter rose slowly and headed to the door. Before exiting the room, he paused and looked back at her. "You can keep denying it to me how you feel about my son, but you can't keep denying it to yourself. You don't have to worry about your secret; Darien will hear nothing from me because it's not my place to tell, but I urge you to tell him what happened before it's too late." Seeing that Serena remained firm in her decision, he sighed. "I'll be downstairs to say goodbye before you leave."  
  
*****************************  
  
*2:30 pm-stables*  
  
"That was a great run, Dare," Andrew commented as he combed through Solaris' mane. "These horses are in great condition."  
  
"Thanks. Freddy and I do everything we can to make sure that they're in great shape," Darien replied, brushing Endymion's flank.  
  
"This horse is almost like a human," Chad commented, pointing at Artemis. "He has this way of shaking his head as if he understands everything you're talking about."  
  
"Serena used to say that too. She seemed to think that Artemis was laughing at her every time he whinnied." Darien's arm stopped moving as he recalled their meeting at the stable. "You know, I fell in love with her when I saw her petting Endymion's cheek. She has such a natural ability to get past people's barriers that I'm not surprised it extends to animals too."  
  
Chad rolled his eyes exaggeratedly at Greg, who was currently feeding Gaia. "Dude, just get over her already!" he exclaimed. "She's not worth it, man."  
  
Darien's eyes flashed in anger. "I swear Chad, if you say another thing about Serena, I'm going to rip out your pretty-boy hair by the roots and flog you with it. You don't know her so just shut the hell up about her, okay?"  
  
The tension mounted in the stables as Darien and Chad glared at each other; even the horses could feel the sparks of anger shooting between the two. Selene pawed at the ground nervously and only calmed down when Endymion peered into her stall and nuzzled her neck reassuringly. Greg looked at Andrew, obviously asking him silently to intervene in the situation before it got worse.   
  
Andrew cleared his throat, getting everyone's attention. "Well, as fun as this staring contest is, I've got to get back to the house soon. Rita's picking me up before we head over to her place and have dinner with her parents," he explained, looking at his watch. "If she gets here soon, I'll have just enough time to take a shower and change into something more presentable before they get there."  
  
Darien and Chad broke away from each other's glare and nodded at each other curtly, both silently agreeing to call a truce. Chad grinned teasingly and made a few hand gestures in the air, pretending to crack a whip. "Dude, you are so whipped it's not even funny."  
  
Andrew merely grinned and made his way out of the stable after making sure Solaris was safe in her stall. "Make all the jokes you want, Chad. I've found the woman of my dreams and I'll do anything it takes to make her happy because seeing her happy makes me feel happy too. I have a great relationship with Rita, who treats me with nothing but respect and love, something it seems you lack in your own life and that's why you feel the need to put down others who have found it. You go from woman to woman without finding your soul mate. You have no idea what love is, so until you do, don't knock it till you try it."  
  
"Geez, don't ever try to joke around with a psych major; they put the 'anal' in analyze,' he mumbled. Greg patted his back in mock sympathy. They followed Andrew out of the stable and started walking back to the house.  
  
*****************************  
  
*2:45 pm-Shields mansion*  
  
When Walter had closed the door behind him, Serena picked up the black velvet box sitting on her dresser and opened it. 'Is he right? Does Darien love me after all?' She lifted the tiara gently from its case and examined it more closely. Inside the band was an engraving in Japanese characters she had failed to notice before. She stared at the inscription, trying in vain to decipher its meaning but failing miserably. 'I wonder what this means?' She placed the tiara back in its box and walked to the balcony with it still in her hands. Downstairs, she heard the faint sound of the doorbell ringing and Melvin rushing to answer it.  
  
'Am I doing the right thing by keeping this secret?' she asked herself as she looked at the garden below. She rubbed her hand lightly over her lower abdomen, imagining that she was touching her child. "Am I being selfish by keeping you from your father?" She looked at the box in her hands and thought of the day Darien gave it to her. "Even if he doesn't love me back, maybe we could arrange something about visitation. I don't know what to do. One part tells me I should keep this from him and another part tells me that Darien has the right to know about his own child. Maybe I should delay my flight until he gets back before I decide what to do."  
  
As if on cue, Darien himself appeared just beyond the garden with two of his friends. She watched as he got closer to the house, laughing and joking with his friends all the way. Darien climbed the steps of the terrace, unaware of her presence, and paused at the top. Just then, she noticed something red moving from the doors leading to the back of the house towards Darien. She realized it was a beautiful red-haired woman, and that she was headed for Darien's outstretched arms.   
  
Serena let her tears fall unheeded as Darien kissed the woman on the cheek and whispered something in her ear, causing her to roll her eyes playfully. She turned away and walked back into her room, unable and unwilling to watch any further. 'See Mr. Shields? I _told_ you he didn't love me but you wouldn't listen. I better get going; I have a plane to catch.' Setting the box down on the dresser, she picked up her bag and walked down the stairs carefully. She saw that Walter and Candace were already waiting to say goodbye to her in the foyer.  
  
"Goodbye, Serena dear. I loved having you here with us, even if it was only for a short time. Write to us sometime and let us know how you're doing," Candace said and gave her a hug. She motioned Melvin to go upstairs and retrieve the rest of Serena's belongings for her.  
  
Walter stepped up and gave her a hug. "I'm sorry about the things I said earlier, girlie," he whispered in her ear. "I promise to keep my mouth shut about everything you said to me, so you don't have to worry about anything. If Darien remembers that night, it'll be because he remembers on his own, and not because I told him." Serena pulled away and kissed him on the cheek tenderly, causing him to blush adorably.   
  
"Thanks Mr. Shields. I'll miss you and Candace very much." She gave them another hug and went to the car that Alan was going to take her to the airport in. She waited until Melvin had brought down all her luggage before closing her door. Walter and Candace watched sadly as the car's engine purred to life and slowly pull out of the long drive.  
  
Candace sighed and turned to her husband when the car was no longer in view. "So she wouldn't listen to you when you tried to talk to her, huh?"  
  
Walter shook his head and took her hand before answering. "Something tells me this isn't the last we've heard of Serena Mathis. She'll be back and I have a feeling it's going to be with a bang." And with those prophetic words, Walter and Candace turned back to their home, determined to let nature take its course and bring Serena back to them its own way.  
  
****************************  
  
*2:40 pm-Somewhere between the stables and the Shields mansion*  
  
"I think I understand why those cowboys walked the way they did now," said Greg as he walked bowlegged because of his stiff muscles. "I used to think they did it for show; you know, to look all bad ass, but now I see the light."  
  
Darien and the others laughed at Greg trying to shift in his jeans in order to relieve the chaffing. "Aww, look at the city boy. Did the little horsy rough you up? Does little Greggy need a nap?" teased Darien. Chad and Andrew laughed. Greg rolled his eyes as he made another vain effort to readjust his jeans.  
  
"_You're_ calling _me_ a 'city boy?' Darien, you of all people couldn't get along without your briefcase in one hand, and a cell phone in the other. You're the only one of us who actually _works_ in a high-rise building downtown so I don't know where you're getting off calling _me_ a city boy," Greg huffed.   
  
"Touchy-touchy. Maybe you should readjust your pants one more time; I think your 'boys' are a little cramped," mocked Darien. Greg grinned at him wickedly.  
  
"You want to do the honours?"  
  
Darien backed off and eyed Greg warily. "Is there something you haven't told us, Greg? Something involving a closet perhaps?"  
  
"That's something you're going to have to find out for yourself. You know, hands on research," Greg said suggestively.   
  
"I think I just might take you up on that."  
  
Darien and Greg's eyes widened in horror and they both took a huge step from each other, shaking their heads wildly. 'Think about manly things: Playboy, all things sports related, cheerleaders in tight uniforms and having sex with a WOMAN!' Darien told himself furiously, ignoring the sound of Chad's laughter in the background.  
  
"Dude, I know I told you to get over Serena, but this isn't exactly what I meant!" Chad exclaimed, patting Darien on the back.   
  
"Damn it!" Andrew exclaimed out of the blue. He had straggled behind his friends and was too preoccupied with rummaging around in his backpack to know what was going on around him.  
  
The others turned to look at him curiously. "What's wrong, Drew?" asked Greg.  
  
"I left my frigging cell phone back at the stable and now I'm gonna have to go back. Shit, Rita should be here by now," worried Andrew, glancing at his watch. "I'll just go back and get it. I can see the house from here so why don't you guys go on ahead and tell Rita that I just went back to get my cell phone?"  
  
"Sure, Drew. Don't worry; it shouldn't take more than ten minutes to get there if you hurry," agreed Darien as Andrew walked back in the direction they came from.   
  
The three of them continued on their way back to the house. They joked that Andrew would end up smelling like a horse for the big dinner with Rita's parents. Darien climbed the steps leading to the terrace and saw Rita emerging from the house. Rita gave them a surprised look and ran to meet them. Darien gave Rita a polite kiss on the cheek and whispered in her ear, "Drew forgot his cell at the stable so he went back to get it. He told me to tell you that you should just take me to the dinner instead." Rita rolled her eyes and lightly smacked him on the shoulder before greeting the others.  
  
"So that absent-minded boyfriend of mine forgot his cell again, huh? Something tells me he does this on purpose every time we have dinner with my parents," she joked.  
  
"Well, he won't be back for another ten minutes so why don't we sit down?" suggested Chad, who looked tired after the day's exercise. The others nodded and soon were engaged in a debate over whom the guys would rather procreate with if he was the last man on earth and he was with the last two women: Barbara Walters and Rosie O'Donnell.  
  
"Dude, I think I would welcome the sweet release of death if it ever came down to that," commented Chad.  
  
"There're a lot of pros and cons to consider before I can make up my mind. One thing that takes Babs out of the running is the age factor; she's too old to have any children. Rosie _might_ be willing to repopulate the earth because it's a good cause, otherwise, she won't even consider it. Didn't she say she doesn't swing on our side of the fence anymore?" contemplated Greg.   
  
"So what would the pros be for either woman?" asked Rita, getting into the conversation she unwittingly started by saying that Chad couldn't seduce one of his coworkers if they were the last two people on earth and God ordered them to repopulate the planet.  
  
"Well, if you chose Barbara and by some unfortunate miracle she's still able to have children, you know that she's a good conversationalist so you won't get bored-but there's a downside to that. She's a reporter who makes her living by exposing one's hidden skeletons, but I suppose that won't very much matter if there're only three people on earth. Rosie's funny; she'll find a way to take the edge off the situation. I bet she'll probably burst into song while we do it," said Greg. "Then again, all the women I sleep with burst into song," he added as an afterthought.  
  
"Yeah, requiems," Chad taunted. "What about you, Dare? Babs or Rosie?"  
  
"What? Oh I don't know...I guess Barbara," Darien replied absently. His mind kept wandering back to Serena and when she would be coming back. The others seemed to recognize this and left him alone to his thoughts. Inside the house, he could hear Molly and Lita's voices wafting from the open kitchen window. He paid little attention to them until he heard Molly mention Serena's name. His ears perked up immediately as he strained to hear their conversation.  
  
"Black isn't Serena's colour," Molly stated matter-of-factly. "She looked washed-out in it. Granted, her mother just died so she had good reason to look washed out..." Molly's voice trailed off sadly.  
  
"It's too bad. Ilene was a real sweet lady, even if she _did_ kick me out of my kitchen to bake her apple pie," agreed Lita.  
  
"Is it just me, or did Serena gain weight?" asked Molly.  
  
"No, it's not just you. Serena got some meat on her bones," replied Lita. The faucet turned on, drowning out her next words. Darien sat in his chair, wondering what they meant. 'She _looked_ washed out in black? Her mother _just_ died? She _gained_ some weight?' he asked himself. 'They're talking about her as if they've just seen...her...' His eyes trailed up to her balcony and he saw that her doors were open, when he knew from his morning visit that it was closed. He suddenly bolted out of his chair and ran into the house, ignoring his friends' looks of concern. He raced inside and confronted a shocked Molly and Lita, sitting around the table and flipping through a recipe book.   
  
"What are you guys talking about?" he demanded. Lita and Molly were alarmed to say the least at the sudden intrusion. They sat there, staring blankly at him until he could no longer wait for an answer. "Well?"  
  
"It's not our place to tell," faltered Molly, her face flushed.  
  
"Of course it's your place to tell; I'm your employer and if I want to know something, you have to tell me. Now, was Serena here or not?" he asked, eyes flashing at the two.  
  
Lita cleared her throat and looked down at her lap, trying to think of an answer. Finally, she looked up at Darien's angry face and sighed. "I think it would be best if you asked your parents about this," she said diplomatically. She shrank back into her seat and felt about three feet tall compared to Darien's six feet three inches which, in her view, just shot up to ten feet because of the intensity of his gaze. She swallowed nervously as he continued to glower at them.  
  
"This is the last time I'm going to ask you whether you saw Serena or not," he said in an eerily low voice. "For god's sakes, I don't know why you're getting secretive all of a sudden; everyone knows about your damn 'poker nights!'" he spat.   
  
Molly and Lita looked at each other guiltily, silently deliberating who should break the news to him. Finally, Molly sighed and said, "she came back today but-"  
  
"She's back?" interrupted Darien. He had a feeling that she was but was still surprised to hear the confirmation. "When did she arrive?"  
  
"She got here at around 11:30-ish but there's something you should know-" said Lita.  
  
"No time; tell me later," shouted Darien, already out the door.  
  
Molly and Lita gave long-suffering sighs and gathered their things on the table. "Come on Lita, let's go outside for a while; I don't want to be here when Darien finds out she's gone," Molly said. Lita agreed and the two of them practically hightailed it out of the kitchen and sought refuge in the garden.  
  
Darien meanwhile, was already racing up the stairs two at a time. 'Why didn't anyone tell me she was back?' he wondered as he reached the top. He paused shortly to catch his breath and continued down the hall to Serena's room. He knocked on the door eagerly and listened for any sounds of movement in the room. 'She must be in the bathroom,' he concluded when he heard nothing. 'I don't think she'll mind if I just let myself in.' He opened the door and got the shock of his life.   
  
The room was empty.  
  
The framed pictures of her friends on the night table...the clothes in the closet...the various containers of mysterious creams and lotions that women seem to know how to use from birth and men just look at askance...they were all gone. The room looked like she had never been there. Darien whirled around furiously, seeking a sign, an object that would prove Serena had been there and she wasn't a figment of his imagination. His eyes came to rest on the dresser upon which a black velvet box rested. Darien's hands shook as he lifted the box and opened its lid to reveal the tiara he had custom-made while he was in Japan. He whirled around when he felt a hand on his shoulder and saw his father looking at him with concern and pity in his eyes.  
  
"Dad?" he asked, uncertain of the question but knew that his father would know the answer.  
  
"I'm sorry, son. She left just a while before you got back from your ride. I couldn't talk her out of it," he answered. Darien nodded numbly.  
  
"Why did she leave?"  
  
Walter sighed, his heart breaking for his only son. He remembered Darien asking the same question when he was just six years old and his beloved grandmother died. Just like then, Walter knew the answer wasn't going to be simple and wouldn't satisfy his broken heart. "Her mother died a few days ago. She's decided to stay there and be with her family and accept her old job back," he replied.  
  
"Oh," Darien said, as if he had known all along what his father would say. "If you'll excuse me dad, I think I'm going to rest in my room. I'm feeling tired all of a sudden." Without waiting for a response, Darien pushed past his father and walked out the door with the box in his hand.  
  
Once he got inside his room, he opened the black box once more and lifted the tiara out. He traced the inscription he had engraved on it with his finger. "To my beautiful Serena," he read, or rather remembered, because he couldn't read Japanese, "you'll always be the queen of my heart." He placed the tiara back in the box for the last time and snapped its lid shut. He then opened the closet door and put the box in the furthest, hardest-to-reach corner. He piled on more junk on top of it just for good measure. Having done this, he lay on his bed and stared at the ceiling, fighting back the tears he felt in his eyes. As he turned his head to the side to look at the clock, one lone tear escaped and made its way down the side of his nose before splashing silently on the pillow. '3:15,' he said to himself before he fell asleep, dreaming of Serena.  
  
********************************  
  
*3:15 pm-car*  
  
Serena looked at the scenery whizzing past her as the car sped along. 'Did I do the right thing?' she asked herself for the thousandth time since she left. Images of Darien and the mysterious redhead in his arms floated back to her mind. 'Yes, I did. Darien is not a one-woman man. He needs a new woman by his side and in his bed constantly. He would just resent you even more if you told him he was the father of your baby,' she thought resolutely. Still, why did it feel so wrong?  
  
She looked down and patted her stomach comfortingly. 'I'm sorry little one. It's just you and me, okay? You may not have your daddy, but you have a mommy, Uncle Sammy, Great Aunt Celeste, Auntie Raye and Auntie Amy, Uncle Justin and Uncle Zach and Cousin Kayla. We all love you very much. Please forgive me for not telling your daddy about you honey; I'm just afraid that he might love you so much, he'll take you away from me and I'll never get to see you again.' She wiped away the tears forming in her eyes. Alan was watching her in the rearview mirror in concern but wisely chose not to say anything. After all, the poor thing just lost her mother.  
  
Serena leaned her head against the cool window and closed her eyes, but not falling asleep. She was vaguely aware of the car coming to a stop a few minutes later. A tapping on the window close to her ear caused her to open her eyes.   
  
"Serena? We're here," Alan called from outside. Serena nodded and opened her door, stepping out gracefully. Alan was already handing her suitcases to a porter. She smiled gratefully at Alan and thanked him for all his help.  
  
"You're very welcome, Serena," he replied. "Keep in touch, okay?"  
  
Serena nodded, crossing her fingers behind her back. 'I'm sorry Alan, but no can do. Darien can't ever know about our baby; if he ever finds out, God help me.'  
  
"Don't worry Alan, I will," she replied.  
  
************************************************************************  
  
The end  
  
Of chapter ten! This chapter was a major biotch to write especially since ff.net was down and I knew that I wouldn't be able to upload it. It took me almost a whole week to write it instead of my usual one day. I just kept thinking to myself, 'why are you making this story longer by doing this? You could end it all now and have them live happily ever after.' But that's just not my style. Making my life more difficult, _that's_ my style. So just sit tight and wait for the next chapter. *Sigh* U.U;  
  
~crystal~rose~{@  
  
June 19, 2002 


	12. Time Apart

Hey everyone...long time no see if you're reading this at ff.net. Just to remind everybody, this story is also posted on ariasink.com so you could go there if ff.net is down again. Anyhoo, I'll just get on with the story.  
  
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Wounded Souls  
  
Chapter 11-Time Apart  
  
By: ~crystal~rose~{@  
  
June 26, 2002  
  
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.oO October-third month of pregnancy Oo.  
  
**LA**  
  
"Isn't this new club great?" Chad shouted over the music.  
  
"What?" Darien yelled.  
  
"Great. Isn't this club great?"  
  
Darien nodded his head enthusiastically, then turned around and rolled his eyes. 'I have no idea what he just said,' he thought. They made their way to the bar and got drinks. Darien leaned back and watched the throng of bodies dancing to the beat of the R&B music pulsing in the crowded room.   
  
"Hey there handsome," a velvety feminine voice purred in Darien's ear just as he was about to take a gulp of his beer. He turned around in the barstool and saw a curvaceous redhead wearing a rather revealing black sequined tube top and a red leather miniskirt. Her taut stomach and belly ring showed between the gap in her outfit. By the way her skirt was hanging low on her hips, it was obvious she wasn't wearing panties. "Like what you see?" she asked, licking her lips provocatively.   
  
Darien grinned as he leered over her body unashamedly. "I think I'd like what I don't see even better," he replied suggestively. "Wanna dance?" He didn't wait for a response and instead led her to the dance floor after glancing at Chad who was busy making some moves of his own with a busty brunette. They made their way to the centre of the dance floor and started moving in time with the music.   
  
Darien pulled her against him so that his hands were roving around on her bare stomach. She moved even closer to him, rubbing against his groin purposefully. Darien leaned down and started kissing her neck, moving for the both of them. She moaned lustily and reached around with her arm to bring his mouth even closer to her neck. "So what's your name?" he asked.  
  
The mysterious redhead grinned when she felt the result of her ministrations to his groin. "Serena," she replied. Darien looked up in shock and saw Serena in his arms, staring at him accusingly with a betrayed look upon her face.  
  
"Excuse me?" he choked out.  
  
"I said my name is Claudette. What's yours?" Darien blinked and the woman before him was not the beautiful goddess he had been dreaming about every night since she disappeared from his life. What he saw was a cheap tramp with too much makeup and too little clothing on a mission to get laid that night. 'How could I confuse the two?' he thought. He pushed her away roughly, ignoring her look of bewilderment.   
  
"I'm sorry, I've got to go," he said, backing away hastily. Claudette shrugged carelessly and watched him head back to the bar to talk with his shaggy-haired friend before leaving the club hurriedly.  
  
"Oh well, it's his loss," she said. She flipped her ruddy hair over her shoulder carelessly and set her sights on another man dancing a few feet away from her. "Hey gorgeous, wanna dance?" she asked, dancing towards him, making sure to move in such a way as to display all of her attributes in one way or another. She smiled to herself when she felt his hands upon her waist. 'I hope this one isn't a cold fish like the other one,' she thought. Claudette pressed her lips to his ear and whispered, "you wanna get to know each other a little better outside?"  
  
'Why can't I just get her out of my mind?' Darien's inner voice screamed as he drove home. 'It's been three months since I've last seen her. She obviously doesn't want anything to do with me so why do I keep torturing myself?' Darien frowned deeply and gripped the steering wheel until his knuckles turned white. He angrily jabbed at a button on the dashboard panel and listened to the soft strains of jazz music floating through the state-of-the-art speakers he had installed in his newly acquired vehicle. He turned up the volume until it was so loud he couldn't hear himself think, which was just how he wanted it because if he allowed himself that luxury, his thoughts would most certainly wander back to a beautiful blonde woman who had left him without so much as a word.  
  
**Toronto**  
  
Serena sighed as she sat down heavily in the dining room chair of her mother's-correction-her house. She still wasn't used to the idea of her mother being gone or owning the home she had lived in for almost a decade. She glanced around at Sammy and Mika, his long-time girlfriend, and her Aunt Celeste and smiled softly. Ever since their mother's death, Sammy had been making it a point to have dinner at Serena's house every Sunday night. Celeste, who had agreed to move into Serena's old room while she was pregnant, welcomed the opportunity to exercise her culinary skills by cooking for a group of people on a regular basis; not an easy thing to do for a single middle aged woman living alone in the city.   
  
"So Serena, how was your week?" asked Mika. Serena handed her the dish of mashed potatoes before answering.  
  
"It was very hectic. I've realized that I couldn't possibly take the promotion next year if I'm going to be on maternity leave. The hospital needs someone they can rely on to be there. The patients need someone they can rely on to be fully focused on their needs instead of worrying about who's watching my baby, what she's eating, etc.," she replied, taking a forkful of roast chicken. It didn't have the gourmet flair that Lita's cooking had, but Serena knew that her aunt made the food out of love for her family, thus making it the best meal she'd ever eaten. Celeste beamed proudly when she told her so.  
  
"What are you going to do then?" asked Celeste.  
  
"I've already spoken with the board members and told them that I'm going to have to turn down the promotion but I'll stay on in my old position after I get back from maternity leave." Sammy's eyes narrowed upon hearing her news.  
  
"What did they say about that?" he asked in a low voice. The three women glanced at each other warily, knowing that Sammy only took this tone of voice when he was really upset with something...or someone.  
  
Serena decided to choose her words carefully before answering. "They agreed with me. They admitted to being rather hesitant about promoting me knowing that I'll be on maternity leave for a year. They agreed to place me at the top of the candidate list when the next promotion comes up."  
  
"Unbelievable," Sammy muttered under his breath as he set his knife down with a clang on his plate. He felt Mika's hand squeezing his under the table, warning him not to let his temper get the better of him and upset his sister.   
  
"What was that?" Serena asked, knowing full well what he said.  
  
Sammy's eyes flashed in anger and an angry scowl was etched upon his face.   
  
"I think it's unbelievable what you're doing and what you have to sacrifice because that bastard impregnated you and was too stupid to remember!" he yelled, throwing his napkin on the table.  
  
"I'm not sacrificing anything," Serena replied soothingly, trying to get her brother to see things her way. "It's my choice to keep this from Darien and it was my choice to turn down the promotion at work. He didn't force me to sleep with him that night; we were both consenting adults so there's no need to place all the blame on him." She could see that her words had backfired on her because the muscles on Sammy's neck tensed and his eyes narrowed to tiny slits.   
  
"Why do you keep defending that idiot? Fine, the two of you made a mistake but that doesn't mean you should be alone when you raise this child. Besides, even though I hate his guts for what he did to you, telling him would just make your life easier. He could pay child support-hell, he _should_ pay child support! Why are you letting him go from his responsibilities?" he asked, making an effort to subdue his voice, which was rapidly increasing in volume.  
  
"What if I tell him and he decides that he'll make a better parent and sue me for custody? Do you think that a judge would rule in my favour just because I'm the mother? If you hadn't noticed Sammy, the Shields family is rich enough to buy the state of California, probably even the entire country! If they have the power to influence the stock market for the past thirty years, they sure as hell have the power to influence someone in a courtroom. I don't want the first time I get to hold my child to be the last," she hissed, fighting to keep her tears in check. Sammy's face turned apologetic instantly and he rushed to his sister's side.   
  
"I'm sorry, sis. It's not you I'm mad at; it's that Shields bastard. I just wanted you to have a break for once in your life. I'm sorry; I didn't think about the consequences of him knowing about the baby. Please don't cry, Sere," he comforted, letting her cry on his shoulder just as she had let him do to her a month ago. "We'll get through this together, Sere. All of us."  
  
**************************  
  
.oO November-fourth month of pregnancy Oo.  
  
**LA**  
  
"All right girls, ante up," Lita said, dealing out the cards. Sitting around the table were Molly and her fellow housekeepers, Alice, Patricia and Diana. "So what do you guys think about Darien?"  
  
Molly studied her cards carefully before throwing a couple of cards back on the table. "Two cards Lita. I've never seen him like this before. He's completely despondent; he wanders around the house aimlessly and he wears a constant frown on his face."  
  
Patricia signaled for another card, which Lita obligingly dealt her. "Girl, that man mopes around the house like nobody's business. If it wasn't for work, he'd have nowhere else to go."  
  
Alice frowned in concentration and tossed three cards on the growing pile. "He just sits there like a speed bump: unnoticed until you practically trip over him. I swear, he's become really irritating lately. Makes me almost wish that Serena girl came back so she could snap him out of this miserable state," she declared as Lita passed her some new cards. She kept her poker face on but inside was screaming with glee. 'Ha ha ha! Three queens! Mama's gonna eat good tonight!'  
  
Diana grinned slyly and looked at Alice a little maliciously. "You're just saying that cuz you know deep down, you want Darien for yourself." She looked down at her cards and practically cursed her rotten luck. A pair of threes. Still, for the sake of keeping up appearances, she allowed herself a half smirk and a raised eyebrow.   
  
"No I don't! I'm completely over Darien and you know it. Besides, I'm going out with Duke now," Alice said dreamily.  
  
Molly resisted the urge to roll her eyes at the two women. It was obvious that Alice had always held a sore spot for Serena ever since she moved in, garnering the attention she so desperately craved from Darien. She wasn't out to get him though; Alice had a roving eye much like the object of her affection and wasn't about to get stuck with one man in the prime of her life. Darien was just the man she held in the highest esteem in comparison to the other men she was attracted to, which doesn't say much for Darien because she normally went out with losers who frequented truck stops and called it a romantic date. As for Diana, it was common knowledge among her fellow players that she was a terrible liar and couldn't bluff her way out of an empty room even if her life depended on it. 'She probably has a pair of sevens or something like that,' she thought.   
  
Lita stayed her hand and threw in a few chips. "I raise ten," she said. "Darien's been such a wet blanket these days. He's not fun anymore; all he does is pine over Serena. I wonder what happened between those two. Did you see him after she left? He hardly left his room."  
  
Alice threw in some blue chips in the middle of the table. "I see your ten and raise you twenty. I know what you mean. I went in his room the day after Serena left, fully expecting him to be gone already, to clean it up. I was shocked when I opened his bedroom door and saw him lying there on his bed, just staring at the ceiling. From the bags under his eyes, I suspected that he didn't sleep a wink."  
  
"Too rich for my blood; I fold," Diana said, placing her cards face down on the table. "I feel sorry for him. I've never seen Darien like this, even when he found out about Ann and Beryl. I just hope that Darien can recover from this."  
  
"What about Serena?" asked Molly. "We keep talking about Darien's troubles, but what about hers? Maybe it's Darien's own fault that she left him. We don't know the whole story; we don't know what happened between them. I call and raise you ten," she added as an afterthought.  
  
Patricia looked at her full house and threw in some chips. "I call and raise you fifty," she replied with a stony expression on her face. The other girls threw their cards down on the table in defeat. Patricia smiled and reaped her winnings. "I guess you're right, Molly. Unless Serena comes back, we'll never know the truth but I can't help but feel sorry for Darien. For once in his life, he's gotten his comeuppance as far as women are concerned and he doesn't know what hit him." The girls nodded in agreement and Molly gathered up the cards, shuffling them.   
  
"Alright girls, ante up. This time, aces wild and diamonds rule..."  
  
**Toronto**  
  
"Mmm, Aunt Celeste this is really good," Serena commented after taking a bite out of her slice of pumpkin pie.   
  
"Thanks dear, it was your mother's recipe." Celeste sat down beside Serena at the kitchen table. They ate in silence for a few moments before Serena pushed her chair back and stood up. "Serena?"   
  
Serena grinned and eyed the pork chops her aunt had made for dinner. "I know we just ate but the more that pork chop sits there, the more I want it."  
  
Celeste laughed fondly. "You know Serena, I almost envy you," she said.  
  
Serena looked at her aunt with the pork chop halfway to her mouth. She set her food down and patted her aunt's hand. "Envy me? Why?"  
  
"Oh, it's nothing really," she replied, waving her hand dismissively.  
  
"No, tell me. What's bothering you?"  
  
"Well, it's just that I'm forty-two already and I have nothing to show for it. I don't have a family of my own, I rent an apartment, and I don't even have a steady boyfriend! I hate to admit it, especially to myself, but my biological clock is ticking and I fear that my battery's just about out of juice," she replied regretfully, her eyes glistening just a little.  
  
Serena patted Celeste's hand consolingly and felt tears in her eyes. She had neglected to think about how her aunt felt about her unexpected pregnancy, the woman who was most deserving of a child. "Oh Aunt Celeste, you'll have a family someday. You're a beautiful woman with a successful job and a great personality. I think you just haven't found the one yet. God knows I haven't," she added, more to herself than her aunt.   
  
"Well, Cara from the pediatrics department is setting me up on a blind date with her boyfriend's cousin. I don't know if I should keep the date though. I'm just so sick and tired of this whole dating game," Celeste said wearily.  
  
"Well, don't follow my example and get pregnant without even getting dinner and a movie first," she replied, half joking and half serious. "Your time will come, Aunt Celeste, you'll see. Go on the date; who knows, this might be the one."  
  
Celeste snorted disdainfully. "Yeah right. How many 'right ones' has there been? What if I already found the one, but I threw him away?"  
  
"You're talking about Kyle, aren't you?" Kyle Landsbury was her aunt's boyfriend of two years. Everyone at the time thought that Celeste would finally settle down and raise a family with Kyle but was shocked when they found out that she had turned down his proposal of marriage. All of Celeste's friends, and most especially Ilene, had questioned her decision and called her a fool for letting a wonderful man like Kyle go. Serena understood though why she had to do it. At that point in her life, Celeste just wasn't ready to settle down.   
  
  
  
She wanted to live life to the fullest without being tied down with responsibilities, something Serena could relate to back then. Kyle was heartbroken but he understood Celeste's decision. They decided to see other people and one year later, Kyle married a beautiful woman named Amara. They now have three gorgeous children: one girl and twin boys, ages ten and eight respectively.   
  
Celeste nodded her head. "What if he was the one? What if I was the one meant to be with him. Those could've been my children now," she moaned despairingly. Celeste looked down and felt the tears falling from her eyes. She sniffled and wiped them away hastily. She glanced up and saw her niece's worried eyes looking at her. "I don't know what I'm crying about; I'd probably make a horrible mother. I'm too caught up in my work, I live a hectic lifestyle and I'm a selfish woman who chose to have fun instead of getting married to the only man I ever loved. Now I'm reaping what I sowed." Celeste managed a small smile before bursting into tears. She felt Serena wrap her in a warm embrace.  
  
When her tears subsided, Serena took her by the shoulders and forced her to look into her eyes. "Don't ever say such things about yourself, Aunt Celeste. You would make a wonderful mother; just look at Sammy and me. Without you, our mom would have fallen apart after everything that happened after daddy died. We could always go to you when we needed someone to talk to if we felt our parents were being unfair or something. We've always considered you our second mother, you know. You were always there for us, Aunt Celeste, and _that_ is what makes you a good mother.   
  
"As for not marrying Kyle, you don't have to explain your reasons. I understand what you were feeling because that was how I felt too. You didn't want to get trapped in a marriage with a man you weren't sure you loved. What if you _had_ married him, had a family and _then_ found out that he wasn't the one after all? If you had reservations about him during your courtship, don't you think those worries would have translated to your married life? I don't think you would have wanted to raise your children in that environment," Serena replied sagely.  
  
Finally Celeste cracked a tiny smile. "Thanks Serena. That really means a lot to me. I never thought you and Sammy felt that way about me and I'm honoured." She gave Serena another hug and then giggled. Serena looked at her curiously, wondering what was so funny. "Courtship? What century are you living in?" she replied teasingly at Serena's puzzled expression, which quickly turned into mock indignation.  
  
"Here I am trying to cheer you up and what do you do? Make fun of me! I'll have you know I couldn't think of a better word than that. What was I supposed to use, dateship?" she asked touchily.  
  
Celeste laughed and ruffled Serena's hair affectionately. "No, you had it just right. I wouldn't change a thing." Serena had a feeling she was talking about something more than her use of synonyms. She smiled, glad to have helped her aunt feel better about herself like she had done so many times for her.   
  
"I thought so."  
  
**********************************  
  
.oO December-fifth month of pregnancy Oo.  
  
**LA**  
  
"Are you sure you want to do this son?" Candace asked as she watched her son packing his clothes in a suitcase. "It's a week before Christmas! Surely business can wait?"  
  
Darien shook his head stubbornly at his mother without taking the time to stop packing. "Mom I've been through this already. I have to go to London and see how things are going over there. The London branch is in the process of hiring a new CFO and it's my job as owner and CEO to oversee things. Wouldn't want an incompetent fool to just walk in from the streets and destroy the company from the inside, you know?"  
  
"But surely they can find their own Chief Financial Officer? You make them sound like a bunch of mindless idiots who can't do anything without your say," she argued.  
  
Darien grinned at his mother rakishly. "That's because they can't."  
  
"But Darien honey, it's a holiday!" she protested. "I'm sure they celebrate Christmas in England."  
  
"This is business mom; we can't stop working just because of a little holiday," he explained patiently, as if he were talking to a five year old.  
  
Candace sighed in frustration. Thank goodness her husband had the presence of mind to retire seven years ago. She wouldn't know what to do if both Walter _and_ Darien were still working at 'damned company,' as she was wont to call Shields Financial. She was certainly proud of everything her men had accomplished-especially Darien, who had only taken the helm when he was just twenty-three years old and had brought Shields Financial at the height of its success-but she wished that they weren't always so work oriented. She remembered the first few months of Walter's retirement and how bored he was. Without work, Walter had turned into her shadow, always following her around and trying to 'help' her. "Is this about Serena, Darien?" she asked tentatively.  
  
Darien's face turned into a scowl. "My trip to London has nothing to do with _that_ woman!" he growled fiercely. He hadn't mentioned Serena's name ever since she left, preferring to call her 'that woman', 'her' or even 'dad's physical therapist.' He placed his last tie in his suitcase and closed it firmly. "Now if you'll excuse me, I have a plane to catch."  
  
"_Don't_ you take that tone with me, Darien Beauford Shields. I am your mother and I will not be spoken to in that manner." The soft, wistful expression on her face vanished and was replaced with a stern look that oozed with authority. She had the 'mom face' that Darien was so used to seeing as a mischievous and occasionally rebellious boy.  
  
Darien immediately repented his harsh words to his mother. "I'm sorry mom, but I really do have to catch my flight. I'll be back the week after Christmas, maybe later," he said as he pecked her on the cheek and dashed out the door.  
  
She shook her head at her son's retreating back and thought sadly that it's been a while since she last saw him fully at peace with the world. In fact, the last time she saw Darien truly happy was on the day of Amy's wedding when he was dancing with Serena. As a mother, she resented and even hated Serena for the pain she had inflicted on her son but as a person, she couldn't help but pity them both. It was obvious the two of them were suffering before Serena left but from what, Candace could only speculate. It seemed that on the day of Amy's wedding, something happened to make Serena pull away from Darien. That could only mean either Darien had done something to hurt her unintentionally, or she had done something to hurt Darien and was feeling guilty because of it. Either way, Candace wasn't sure running away was the right way to solve their problems. Every time she broached the subject with Walter, he seemed to always change the subject, leading her to believe that he knew more than he was letting on.   
  
"I just hope Darien either gets this mess with Serena straightened out or he finds himself a new woman and move on with his life. I don't know how much more of this bitterness he can take."  
  
**Toronto**  
  
Christmas day had been as fun as could be expected for Serena and her family. After they had opened their presents, she went to the cemetery with Sammy and Celeste to visit her parents and light candles in their memory. They couldn't stay long because it was unusually cold for this time of year and the blanket of snow on the ground prevented them from sitting down and getting comfortable. Then they went back to the house and reminisced about the good old days. Finally, Sammy left to go to Mika's house for her family's Christmas dinner, leaving Celeste and her to have dinner with Raye and her family.   
  
From Raye's house, they called Amy and wished her a merry Christmas, teasing her about her 'gift' to her husband. As usual, Amy let the comments slide and refused to take the bait, focusing instead on Serena and her condition. Being in her fifth month of pregnancy, Serena's stomach was starting to get pleasantly round. Raye often teased her about her 'pregnancy waddle' and her emotional highs and lows. Serena told Amy excitedly that she was having a baby girl but she had no idea what to name her yet. Amy suggested Apollonia but quickly retracted it when she heard the room explode in laughter over the speakerphone. The laughter stopped abruptly when Zach got on the line and told them that his mother's name was Apollonia, then told them that he was just teasing when they started apologizing all at once. Amy told them that the weather in LA was very warm and balmy, the complete opposite of the weather in Toronto. After debating the pros and cons of Christmas without snow, with the cons side winning by a narrow margin, they hung up the phone and continued with their celebration, with Serena finishing the majority of the turkey that Raye had prepared. While everyone else was digesting their food in the living room, Serena was in the kitchen raiding Raye's fridge. She had a craving for something but she couldn't put her finger on it. Finally, her eyes rested upon a bottle of sweet pickles and mayonnaise. Grinning to herself, she fished the ingredients out of the fridge and walked back to the living room.   
  
"What's that you got there, Sere?" asked Justin as he played with Kayla's new See 'N Say, courtesy of Serena. "Just a second, sweetie, Daddy's playing," he said to his daughter, who was looking longingly at her toy. Raye smacked Justin upside the head and gave the toy to her daughter, who began babbling and gurgling happily. Justin kissed his daughter on top of her head and smiled sheepishly at Raye, who pretended to scowl at him.  
  
"I hope you don't mind Raye, but I was feeling a bit peckish and decided to raid your stash," Serena replied, plopping down on the couch beside her aunt who looked at her snack food of choice rather askance. She ignored Celeste and began dipping the pickles into the mayonnaise, offering one to Justin. "Want some?"  
  
"Sure," Justin replied, not checking to see what it was. The girls laughed at the expression on his face as he struggled to swallow the pickle. He shivered in disgust and used a tissue to wipe his tongue free of the aftertaste. To make matters worse, when Kayla toddled over to her dad to give him a kiss on the nose, she wrinkled her own nose as she smelled his breath.   
  
"'Tinky," she said in her baby way. She giggled delightedly when Justin lay her down on the carpet and blew on her stomach. "Ddddaddy! 'Top! 'Top pease!" she gasped, laughing uncontrollably and pushing his head away with her chubby hands. Justin smiled at her lovingly and stopped. Kayla frowned contemplatively and lifted up her dress again, pointing at her stomach. "Go daddy, ticko me!"  
  
Serena watched them silently, eating her pickles and mayo and occasionally drinking the pickle juice straight from the jar in pure bliss. Raye looked at her understandingly but disgustedly. "When I was pregnant with Kayla, I was munching on barbecue sauce with bits of Alka-seltzer mixed in. When I felt adventurous, I threw in some green olives."  
  
Justin looked up from the floor. "Remember when you made me drive all the way to the apple orchard for some Red Delicious apples and their homemade apple crumble? I told you they had the exact same pie at the grocery store but you said the one from the farm was fresher and therefore better. I drove an hour and a half and stayed at their house for another two hours while the lady baked it. By the time I got home with a bushel of apples in the red _and_ golden variety and a freshly baked pie with a note from Mrs. Chudleigh explaining why I was gone so long, Raye's cravings took a different turn. This time, she wanted caviar, mustard, and sardines. Where was I supposed to find caviar at a moment's notice?" he asked Serena and Celeste who shrugged sympathetically.  
  
Kayla swatted her father's arm, getting his attention. Once again, she pointed at her tummy. "Ticko, daddy," she ordered in a tone very much like her mother. Justin groaned and rolled his eyes. He looked pleadingly at Raye, who just raised her eyebrow mercilessly.  
  
"What are you looking at me for? You started this little game, now you finish it," she declared.  
  
"Daddddy!" screamed Kayla. "Ticko!"  
  
Justin groaned again and glanced wearily at Serena and Celeste. "See what I have to put up with? These women of mine..." Shaking his head ruefully, he bent down and blew on Kayla's stomach once more, eliciting squeals of joy from the toddler.  
  
'I wish Darien was here,' Serena thought out of the blue. She rubbed her protruding belly gently and forced herself to harden her heart. 'But he's not so stop wishing that he was. He doesn't want you, and he sure as hell doesn't want to be tied down with a child.'  
  
She gazed at the family enviously. Raye had joined her husband on the floor in tickling their demanding daughter on the stomach. They were the picture of the perfect family-the one she had been dreaming of her whole life. Serena tore her eyes away from the happy trio and blinked away the tears. 'If Darien ever found out about this, I don't know how he'd react. He could fight for her, accept her in his life or just ignore her. The thing that would hurt me the most is for him to resent or even hate me for burdening him with a child. I'd rather have him ignore us than have him resent us. Then I can hope that he loves the baby at least,' she thought.   
  
Celeste was watching the storm brewing in her niece's eyes and knew what she was thinking. 'Poor Serena. She probably envies Raye for having everything she's always wanted. This must be very hard for her, especially with Ilene passing away just when she needed her the most. I promised Ilene to take care of her children for her before she died and that's exactly what I'm going to do.' Making a big show of looking at the clock and exclaiming over the lateness of the hour, Celeste stood up and began offering excuses for leaving. "Thank you for having us over, Raye. It was wonderful to spend Christmas with you and your family," she said warmly, giving Kayla a hug and Justin a pinch on the cheek.  
  
"You're very welcome, Aunt Celeste. It was wonderful having you. We should do this again sometime," she replied, handing them their coats. She gave both of them hugs at the door. "Thanks for Kayla's new toys; I have a feeling she's not the only one who's going to enjoy it."  
  
Serena huffed and puffed as she struggled to put on her boots. "I swear, it's getting harder and harder to do this everyday," she complained, finally managing to insert her foot in her left boot with Raye's help.  
  
"I know what you mean," Raye said. "I had to get Justin to help me lace up my shoes every time I had to go outside." She winced as Serena looked down on the floor at the mention of having a husband to help her through the worst of her pregnancy. "I'm sorry, Sere. I shouldn't have..."  
  
"You don't have to be sorry about having a loving husband, Raye. I have to get used to the fact that I'm going to have this baby by myself. I never was the traditionalist of the group," she joked weakly. Giving Raye and Justin a final hug and Kayla a kiss on the cheek, Serena turned to the door and stepped outside carefully, followed by her aunt.  
  
"Justin, did you salt the driveway?" asked Raye, a little on the stern side.  
  
"Yup, just before they arrived," he replied dutifully.  
  
"Ok then. Be careful Serena; it's slippery out there," she called. Serena waved back, indicating that she heard the warning and got in the car.   
  
When Celeste had seated herself behind the steering wheel, Serena turned to her and gave her a smile of gratitude.  
  
"Thanks."  
  
Celeste raised an eyebrow and turned on the ignition. "What for, sweetie?"  
  
"For getting me out of there. I love Raye and Justin, but I just couldn't take any more of their family togetherness. I'm being selfish, aren't I?" she asked, staring out the window.  
  
Celeste paused at a stop sign and smiled softly at Serena. "I don't think so. It's natural to feel jealous of what Raye has because you want the best for your child. No matter how much we're all going to love this baby, it still doesn't compare to having the love of both its parents and seeing them together under one roof."  
  
"You're right. I don't know what I'm going to tell her about her father when she gets older," Serena replied sadly.  
  
Celeste squeezed her hand comfortingly when she paused at another stop sign. "Don't worry, sweetie. We'll cross that bridge when we get there."  
  
*****************************  
  
.oO January-sixth month of pregnancy Oo.  
  
**LA**  
  
Darien sat at a table in Luigi's Bistro, waiting for his business partners to arrive for their lunch meeting. He personally never wanted to set foot in this restaurant ever again but seeing as how he was outvoted and outnumbered, he reluctantly agreed. 'Since they were the ones who chose this place, you'd think they'd at least show up on time,' he thought bitterly, eyeing the table he and Serena sat in months ago. It was now occupied by an elderly couple obviously very much in love from the way they held hands while they ate, to the way the man gently dabbed at his wife's mouth with the cloth napkin.   
  
'That could have been me and Serena when we got older,' he said to himself. He glanced at his watch and noted that his associates were fifteen minutes late. 'Dammit, where are they? I swear if they don't show up in ten minutes, I'm ordering without them. It's too damn bad if I'm finished eating and ready to get to work by the time they get here.'  
  
Suddenly, he heard an eerily familiar laugh coming from the table to his right. 'Shit, please don't tell me it's her...' he pleaded to whoever was listening silently. 'Anyone but those bitches, anyone but them.' He refused the urge to turn in his seat and satisfy his curiosity. It was inviting trouble if he turned around and faced the woman with the familiar laugh. What if it was who he thought it was and she saw him looking at her? At them?  
  
There it was again, this time accompanied with a flash of red hair. Darien's foot was now tapping impatiently under the table, willing his associates to walk into the restaurant at that very second and save him from the inevitable confrontation he knew was coming. He grasped the arm of a passing waiter, almost causing him to drop the tray of seafood linguine that he was about to deliver to another table.   
  
"Excuse me, but do you know if the rest of my party has arrived yet?" he asked a little desperately.  
  
The waiter looked at him in annoyance, remembering him from that day he made a big production about the woman he was meeting for lunch, and how he toppled over the artificial tree behind him. He scowled; this lovestruck act was really getting old, even for a closet romantic like him. "No sir, I don't believe your party has arrived yet, but I will check for you, if you want Mr. Shields," he responded snootily.   
  
"That's ok." The waiter nodded his head once and went on his way. Darien once again glanced at his watch in sheer annoyance. 'What is it about this place that makes the people I'm meeting late?' he wondered.  
  
"So, it is you." Darien snapped his head up and groaned inwardly. 'Damn, damn, damn, damn! I _so_ do not need this now!'  
  
"Beryl, how lovely to see you again." Sarcasm laced Darien's words heavily. Beryl pouted playfully and seated herself down beside him. "I don't recall asking you to sit down at my table," he scowled.  
  
"Come, come Darien. Where are your manners? Don't tell me you were gonna let a lady stand in your presence unwelcomed?" She was having a great time watching her former rival attempt to clamp down on his anger.  
  
"If you see a lady, let me know, otherwise you can go straight to hell," he said through gritted teeth.  
  
Beryl clucked her tongue and shook her head, pretending to be shocked at the way he treated her. "I see someone still hasn't gotten over what happened seven years ago. Give it up Darien; you've lost. Ann is mine and will always be mine."  
  
"You can take that whore and shove her up your ass, although I'm willing to bet you'd enjoy that very much. No Beryl, I'm very much over Ann so if you're through marking your territory, I'd appreciate it if you got your skanky ass out of that seat before I lose my appetite completely." Darien frowned when she made no move to get up. "Are you as deaf as you are a slut? What do you want, Beryl?"  
  
"Look at the pot calling the kettle black. You Darien, are nothing more than a man-whore so I would stop with the juvenile insults cuz I know you enjoy a good pussy just as much as I do," Beryl sneered. Darien turned his nose up in disgust.  
  
"Not only do you play the part of a common whore, you also talk like one," Darien retorted.  
  
Beryl pretended to be hurt by his barbs. "That wasn't very nice Darien. What would your next conquest say if she heard you speaking to me like that?" she pouted.  
  
Darien shrugged and opened up his menu. "You know what they say, 'tit for tat.' I know how much you enjoy _that_ game." He watched Beryl's face seething in contempt from behind the menu. He was beginning to enjoy himself despite his earlier misgivings. Beryl snapped his menu shut, almost clipping his nose, and stared him in the eye.  
  
"Listen here, smart ass, I don't have time for this shit. I just came here to give you a warning: stay away from Ann. I'm not going to warn you again." Darien glanced over his shoulder and saw Ann digging in to her lasagna. He raised his eyebrow and smirked.  
  
"Hark, is that jealousy I hear in your voice? Whatsa matter Beryl, afraid Ann's still batting on the coed team or maybe it's because I have something you don't have?" he taunted in a singsong voice. Darien almost laughed out loud when Beryl's face scrunched up in undisguised fury. She rose from her seat and smacked him resoundingly upside the head before stalking off to her table. When she got to her seat, she made sure to catch Darien's attention before she leaned over and grabbed Ann in a steamy kiss that lasted for a full thirty seconds, getting the attention of every male in the room. 'What is it about two women kissing that drives men wild?' Beryl thought absently. When she pulled away, she threw a smirk at Darien, who rolled his eyes in return, and turned her focus onto a dazed Ann.  
  
"What was that for, honey?" Darien heard Ann ask when she got her breath back.   
  
Beryl, despite her normally crude nature towards other people, stroked Ann's face lovingly. "Nothing baby. I just missed you while I was gone."  
  
Ann beamed and leaned over for another kiss. "Thanks sweetie, but you were only gone for about five minutes. Did you take care of business already?"  
  
Beryl glared in Darien's direction but if Ann noticed it, she gave no indication of it. "Of course I did, love. I always take care of what's mine," she replied.   
  
She tasted a bite of her fettuccine alfredo and found it to her liking. "Here baby, taste this," she said, winding some pasta up on her fork and feeding it to Ann gently.   
  
Ann closed her eyes and licked her lips appreciatively, causing shivers of arousal to go up and down Beryl's spine. "It's delicious. I love you, sweetie."  
  
Beryl laced her fingers through Ann's and smiled triumphantly. "I love you too, baby."  
  
Back at his table, Darien was fighting the urge to gag at the over-excessive display of attention those two women were displaying. Glancing up, he noticed his associates being led to his table by Nemo. 'Finally, I wonder what their excuse is _this_ time,' he thought.  
  
"Well gentlemen, to what do I owe the pleasure of your esteemed presence?" he asked when they were seated. The thee men winced at their boss' acid tone and urged the pre-appointed foreman to offer up their excuse.  
  
"Well, you see, sir..."  
  
"Save it. I hope none of you are hungry yet because we're not eating until we get our work done," Darien said vindictively. The men groaned inwardly and took out their files from their briefcases. They had been starving on the way to the restaurant but got held up in traffic when a garbage truck collide with a cement truck, both vehicles spilling their cargo on the street.   
  
"Okay Sanchez, talk to me about the problems we're having with the return from the end of the fiscal year..."  
  
**Toronto**  
  
Serena was spending the Saturday in her local public library, reading up on child rearing. Wasting away the afternoon in the library wasn't how she wanted to spend her weekend, but since the library thought she lost a book although she was positive that she had returned it and had sent her a letter with the option of either paying a thirty-six dollar fine or paying the ridiculous amount of forty-five dollars to replace the book which couldn't have cost more than five, Serena decided to just let her library card expire and take her chances. 'Besides, they can't stop me from looking at the books in the building. I _pay_ their salaries dammit.' Serena looked around the room for the librarian, positive that she would recognize her from the time she had angrily stormed in here, demanding 'satisfaction' from the frazzled woman who had no idea what she was talking about.   
  
Serena selected a few books on the shelf and took them to an empty table where she proceeded to review the titles. There was "Pregnancy for Dummies," "What to Expect When You're Expecting," "So...You're Pregnant, Now What?" and her favourite, "The Single Woman's Guide to Pregnancy." The last title sounded so judgmental in its effort to sound authoritative that it appealed to her wry sense of humour.   
  
As she studied the books, one thing was pretty clear: they each had conflicting facts. One book told her to eat more vegetables and avoid fish and another book told her to eat fish and avoid broccoli. One book told her to walk for about two miles each day and the other one told her to do yoga instead. If one book suggested not to use 'baby talk' in front of her daughter, she was certain the other books would contradict it. Serena slammed the books shut in disgust, causing the other patrons, including the stern-faced librarian, to frown disapprovingly at her. She smiled sheepishly and waited for them to return to whatever it was that they were doing before rolling her eyes.   
  
Serena rubbed her stomach lightly. For the past two months, she had been feeling the baby moving around in her womb, as if she were doing somersaults within her little nest. Today, however, her baby was being more active than usual. She could feel tiny pokes in her stomach, as if her baby was trying to remind her mother of her presence. "Okay, okay. I know you're in there, no need to poke," she whispered. Serena gathered the books and stood up to return them to their proper shelves. 'Maybe I should look at a few name books while I'm here. At the rate I'm going, her high school principal will call her 'Baby Girl Mathis' because I still haven't decided on her name yet.'  
  
Just as she was about to reach the shelves, Serena dropped her books in shock and squealed loudly, clutching her stomach. A number of people were alarmed to see a pregnant woman just standing there with her books on the floor and her eyes bugging out. The librarian rushed over to her instantly.  
  
"Miss, is there anything I can do for you?" she asked worriedly.  
  
Serena turned delighted eyes towards her and yanked the woman's hand, placing it on her stomach. "My baby just kicked. This is the first time she's ever kicked this hard." Serena turned to the crowd of expectant faces. "My baby just kicked for the first time," she explained. Her audience smiled at her indulgently before returning to their own affairs. "If she keeps this up, she's going to hit me in the face with my own breast," she joked at the dignified woman whose hand she had not yet released.  
  
The lady softened her expression a bit but nevertheless kept the perpetually sour expression upon her face. "That's lovely dear, although I strongly advise you to refrain from making loud outbursts such as the one we were all just treated to a while ago. This _is_ a library you know," she sniffed proudly, looking at Serena over the top of her glasses. She helped Serena gather her fallen books and went back to work.  
  
"Spoilsport," Serena muttered. With her hand still on her belly, she selected a few baby name books and took them back to the table. She opened one and flipped to the girls' section. 'Let's see...there's Theresa...naw, it reminds me of that girl who's always in tears on that crazy soap opera Passions-I hate that girl...how about Maxine? I don't know...Maxine Mathis? It doesn't have a good ring to it. How about Alanis?' Serena scrunched up her nose and shook her head.   
  
'Why don't I give her name that reflects our ancestry? Let's see...mom was half Irish and half Italian, daddy's family was from Scotland and somehow got a bit of Japanese mixed in there a long, long time ago...I could name her Ireland or Terra, after land, or Asia..." Serena chuckled to herself. 'Why don't I just dress her up in a potato sack and name her Hattie Mae?'  
  
She flipped through the other books. 'I could name her something that sounds deeply profound like some of the names I've been hearing these days. There's Harmony...bleech....I know that Mary from the palliative care ward at the hospital named her daughter Sequoia because she weighed ten pounds, fifteen ounces when she was born....poor kid. Poor Mary! No wonder she was in labour for thirty-nine hours. Janet from hospital admin. named her daughter River because she was conceived in one when she and her husband went camping. I _think_ Cecilia from the cafeteria named her daughter Mercedes because she was busy seducing Dr. Holbrook in the backseat of his car the night she conceived. Maybe I should name my daughter Tylenol or Corona because without them, Darien would have been lucid enough to know what he was doing...or who, in my case. Or I could name her Cookie, because if it wasn't for Lita's cookies, I wouldn't have even been down in the kitchen in the first place...So many choices, so little time,' she thought idly.  
  
Finally, after two hours of poring over various books and websites using the library computer, Serena decided to head home, no closer to picking the perfect name than she was when she first started. She packed up her notes and the printed sheets of names she thought were good candidates and walked out the door. She glanced at her car thoughtfully, remembering the advice she read in the baby books.   
  
'Should I walk home or should I drive? That one book said driving while pregnant was the equivalent of playing Russian roulette. But the other book said that walking long distances isn't good for pregnant women. What should I do?' She sat down in her car for fifteen minutes, contemplating what her next action would be until she decided to swallow her pride and ask Raye what to do. After laughing at her expense for a few minutes, Raye told her to sit tight and wait for Justin to walk there and drive her home.  
  
After about ten minutes of waiting patiently in the car with the heat turned up, Serena was shocked out of her near-sleep by a figure knocking insistently on her window. Serena could hear him saying something as he was pounding on the window but his scarf and ski mask muffled her words. Thoroughly frightened, Serena locked her doors and leaned on the horn, sending a shrill blast through the wintry air. The man panicked and started waving his arms frantically. Serena could hear him begging her to stop honking the horn but she shook her head stubbornly and leaned on the horn even harder. Finally, after drawing the attention of many people on the street, some of whom rushed to her aid, the masked man was restrained. One of the men holding down his arms whisked off his mask with a flourish.   
  
"Justin!" Serena exclaimed. She smiled sheepishly at him, earning her a scowl, and at the men holding him down.   
  
"You know this man, miss?" the burly man who unmasked Justin asked. Serena nodded and they reluctantly released him.  
  
"I'm really sorry; I didn't know who he was because he was wearing the ski mask. When he started knocking on the window, I thought he wanted to attack me," she explained. The men laughed and slapped Justin on the back.  
  
"Why didn't you just take your mask off instead of scaring the lady half to death?" they asked. Justin turned red and mumbled something they couldn't hear. "What was that?"  
  
"I _said_ it was cold," he repeated rather testily. The men laughed again and left them alone. Justin got in the driver's seat and waited for Serena to get in.   
  
"Justin?" Serena asked softly.  
  
"What?"  
  
Serena bit her lip to prevent herself from smiling. "Thanks a lot for coming to pick me up. I know you probably had better things to do than to help out your annoying little sister on such a cold day," she said sweetly, batting her eyelashes. Justin's grim face relaxed and he smiled at her. 'I knew he would fall for the puppy face. Nobody can resist the puppy face,' she crowed.  
  
"Don't think for one minute you've won me over with your puppy face," he told her matter-of-factly. He saw she was about to protest and began speaking again before she could get a word in. "You owe me big time for this, _sis_.   
  
And trust me, when I collect, it's going to hurt."  
  
Serena buckled her seatbelt and waited for him to turn on the engine. 'Rats,' she pouted. 'He knows me too well.'  
  
***********************  
  
.oO February-seventh month of pregnancy Oo.  
  
**LA**  
  
'God, I hate Valentine's Day.' Darien plowed through his office, rolling his eyes at the women bawling over the flowers they've received from their significant others. 'Geez, this is a place of business, not a love factory. Can't they save this mushy stuff for when they get home?'  
  
"Happy Valentine's Day, Mr. Shields," his secretary greeted as he passed by. Darien whirled around and advanced on the poor woman who was wondering what got her normally uptight boss' ass.   
  
"What did you say?" he asked in a low voice. She gulped nervously and hid her shaking legs under her desk.   
  
"Um...Happy Valen-"  
  
Darien held up his hand to stop her abruptly. "I don't want to hear those words uttered in my presence, got that? There is no such thing as a 'Valentine's Day!' It's just a stupid holiday that Hallmark made up to get gullible people like you to shell out money on a useless card you're probably going to throw away after realizing the one who gave it to you isn't worth more than the drivel written on that cheap piece of crap that he gave you!" Darien paused and looked at the stricken woman's face. Feeling guilty for totally screwing around with her belief system, he took out his wallet and handed his secretary-whose name, ironically, is Valerie-a fifty-dollar bill.  
  
"I'm sorry for going off on you like that, Val. Here...buy yourself something nice," he said, thrusting the bill in her face. Valerie's eyes widened in she shook her head in embarrassment. "What? Oh, I see. Here." Darien took out another fifty and gave it to her. "This should be enough for a fancy dinner with your boyfriend, huh? Really, I'm very sorry for yelling at you. Happy...Valentine's Day," he choked out. Valerie watched him saunter into his office and shut the door, before lifting up the phone and dialing her friend in the human resources department.   
  
"Natalie Globe."  
  
"Hey Nat, it's me. Guess what Mr. Shields gave me..."  
  
Meanwhile, Darien was sitting in his office, totally unaware that his employees were discussing his aversion for Valentine's Day. He unlocked a drawer in his desk and took out a framed picture. It was of himself and Serena at Disneyland. In it, he was pretending to fight Donald Duck for Serena's affections and she was playing the coquettish female, enjoying their attentions. He smiled fondly, remembering that magical day and every day leading up to Amy's wedding when everything blew up in his face. He wiped the dust from the glass before he placed the frame back in the drawer and locked it.  
  
Darien tried to get back to work but couldn't concentrate. He swiveled his chair and looked out the window, staring blankly out at the city that seemed so carefree. Los Angeles was not the city for a man in a depressed state. It was a city of extreme excesses and shortages. The rich and the poor lived side-by-side and co-existed in blissful ignorance of their fellow man. If it was a dog-eat-dog world, then LA was certainly its epicenter. Darien sighed heavily. For a man on top of the world, he sure felt like he was the one carrying it on his shoulders.   
  
He put his hand on the glass and wished that he could feel the wind caressing his skin. He watched the smog settle on the city like a cloak, hiding it from his prying eyes. 'That's the way I feel right now, like a shroud has been placed over my heart and only Serena is capable of lifting it, but the only problem is, does she want to?'  
  
**Toronto**  
  
Serena was downtown waiting for Celeste to arrive at the Second Cup coffee bar so they could go shopping together. Valentine's Day had come and gone with hardly an acknowledgement from her. She saw the nurses on her floor mooning over the new doctor and scoffed at the hearts decorating the otherwise dismal halls of the hospital. Never in her entire life had she been so disillusioned with Valentine's Day as she had been this year.  
  
She found a seat close to the window after ordering a hot chocolate and a slice of their carrot cake. Her stomach, which was well on its way to bursting, was somewhat hidden from view by the oversized padded armchair. She watched a man wearing a very loud shirt and pleather pants making his rounds with the women sitting peacefully throughout the cozy establishment. She smiled as she watched him get rejected by every single one of his prospects, including the barista. She was glancing out the window, watching the people wading through the snow and slush when she felt someone sit down in front of her.   
  
"Oh, there you are, Aunt Celes-" She stopped her sentence abruptly when she noticed that the person in front of her was not her aunt, but the man with the loud shirt, which seemed to become even louder now that it was right in front of her. She scowled as her eyes were automatically drawn to the hideously designed shirt; the pattern swirled around on the fabric as if it had a mind of its own. She failed to notice before that his shirt was unbuttoned at the top, revealing a fake-looking gold medallion and a large tuft of chest hair. Serena was hard-pressed to keep her eyebrow from rising in disgust. The man smiled, the lamplight glinting off his gold tooth.  
  
"Is there something I can help you with, sir?" she asked a little disdainfully.  
  
"Yeah toots. Howsa bout you and me get to know each other over a cup of coffee?" he asked, touching her hand.  
  
Serena yanked her hand away and started to unconsciously wipe it on her shirt under the table. "How about we don't and we say we did?"  
  
The man stuck out his bottom lip and made a poor attempt at a pout. "Aw c'mon sweets, do it for Rocko," he cajoled.  
  
"_I_said_ no_." Serena narrowed her eyes and clenched her fists.  
  
"You know, I saw you from across the room and I knew I just had to meet you," Rocko said, trying a new tactic.  
  
Serena raised her eyebrow mockingly, feeling her patience wearing thin. "Was this before, or after, every woman rejected you?" To his credit, Rocko had the grace to blush.  
  
"Why you gotta be so harsh, toots?"   
  
Serena pushed her chair back and stood up, revealing her pregnant stomach. She watched Rocko's face turn to one of shock before he backed away slowly. "Whatsa matter, Rocko, I'm suddenly not so attractive to you anymore?" she taunted, advancing on him like a wolf backing a scared rabbit into a corner.   
  
"Sorry ma'am, I didn't know...Uh, I've got somewhere to be so..." He retreated to another part of the coffee shop with Serena hot on his heels.  
  
"Aw c'mon, Rocko. Let's get that coffee now. Why are you in such a rush all of a sudden? You've finally gotten _one_ woman's attention, don't quit now." She stood above him with her arms crossed and her foot tapping impatiently. "You know what? You're just like every single jerk I've ever been with, including my child's father! I told you once to leave me alone you ugly-ass piece of shit, but you wouldn't listen! So now, you got my attention; yay, congratulations," she sneered, clapping her hands and attracting the attention of everyone present.   
  
Rocko covered his face with his newspaper. "Look lady, I'm sorry for bothering you; I won't do it again," he hissed.  
  
Serena bent down so that she was at eye level and pushed his shoulder. "You bet your ass you won't do it again. Women like me don't need fuckers like you bothering us and hounding us for dates, so why don't you get your raggedy ass out of here and leave us alone?" Seeing his stunned face just staring at her, Serena took the newspaper from his hands and started swatting him with it.  
  
"Ow! Quit it, lady! I said stop!" he cried, shielding himself with his hands. "Alright, alright, I'm outta here!" He quickly ran out the door with Serena hitting him all the way. The women cheered when he fell out the door and landed in a snowbank. The barista tapped her on the shoulder and handed her another mug of hot chocolate with extra whipped cream.  
  
"On the house," she winked.  
  
Serena beamed and took a sip. "Thanks. All in a day's work."  
  
"Serena? What was that all about?" Celeste asked, apparently having walked in just as Rocko was on his way out and observing the cheers.  
  
Serena slung her arm over her aunt's shoulders and guided her to another table, newspaper still tucked underneath her arm. "Let me tell you a story about a man named Rocko..."  
  
*****************************  
  
.oO March-eighth month of pregnancy Oo.  
  
**LA**  
  
"Darien, are you sure about this?" asked Trista, between kisses.  
  
Darien didn't answer her, instead opting to unzip her dress and throw it down on the floor beside her shoes. He was at another club with Chad that night and had bumped into Trista. They got to talking and were soon dancing up a storm. He offered to give her a ride home, which she gladly accepted, and was invited up to her apartment for coffee. Trista groaned as Darien trailed kisses down her neck and on her collarbone. She grabbed at his shirt, freeing it from his pants.   
  
Darien lay her down on her bed, before shedding off the rest of his clothes. He settled down on top of her and entered her slowly. "It's been so long," he groaned. Trista could only moan in reply as his pace quickened. She reached up and held onto the bedpost for support.  
  
"Oh God, Darien. I've wanted this the moment I met you!" she cried. Darien raised her legs and propped them up on his shoulders. Trista watched Darien above her through hooded eyes. His face was scrunched up in concentration and his eyes were closed tight. She couldn't help but feel a bit triumphant that it was her in the bed with Darien and not Serena. She cried out wordlessly as she felt her peak building. Trista held on tighter to the post and clenched her inner muscles.  
  
"I'm so close, Darien!" she cried, pulling him even closer to her.  
  
"I love you!" he said through his clenched teeth. Trista gasped in delight. She certainly never expected this.   
  
"Oh Darien..."  
  
"I love you so much, Serena," he whispered. Trista's eyes shot open and she stared at him in shock.  
  
"WHAT DID YOU SAY?" she roared, pushing him off of her.  
  
Darien looked puzzled as he tried to remember his last words. "I said I love you...Serena." He looked away from Trista, who was furiously collecting his clothes after having thrown on a robe. "I'm sorry Trista. I don't know what to say..."  
  
"Save it; you've said plenty. Please just get the hell out of here and don't come back," she said, wiping away her tears. She thrust his clothes to him and paused at the door. "Do me a favour Darien. If you see me walking down the street in your direction, please just turn the other way without acknowledging my presence. Please...just go," she begged and ran to the washroom, locking herself in.   
  
Darien sighed and put on his clothes. Through the washroom door, he could hear Trista weeping bitterly. When he had all his belongings together, he knocked softly on the door. "Trista?" he called. "I'm going now. I'm really sorry about all this..."  
  
"JUST GO AWAY!" she screamed. A second later, he heard a thump on the door, so he assumed that she threw something at it. "GO TO HELL!"  
  
Darien stepped away from the door before he caused any more damage to Trista's self-esteem. "Believe me, I'm already there," he muttered as he walked out of her apartment.  
  
**Toronto**  
  
"Raye?" Serena called as she stepped through Raye's front door. 'Where is that girl? She told me to meet her here at two o'clock so we could go baby shopping.' Serena stepped through the foyer and made her way to the darkened living room.   
  
"SURPRISE! BABY SHOWER!" a group of women shouted when the lights came on. Serena felt tears spring into her eyes as her gaze fell on the group of women gathered in Raye's living room. There were some of her co-workers present, as well as her aunt, Mika and Raye.   
  
"AMY!" Serena's eyes bugged out of their sockets when she saw the familiar blue-black head in the back of the group. Both women hugged each other and laughed. "When did you get here?"  
  
"Just a few hours ago. I have to leave tomorrow morning though because of an midday conference. I just came up here for the shower," she explained.  
  
The shower went on for a few hours, with the standard parlour games such as 'Make a Potato Baby,' and 'Pin the Rattle on the Baby.' She received many baby clothes and a collection of stuffed animals. Practical Amy had started an education fund for the baby for when she grows up. Raye and Justin had given her a beautiful antique quilt and Celeste had given her a stroller that doubles as a car seat. Mika and Sammy had given her a baby swing.  
  
When all the guests were gone, Amy and Raye approached Serena, who was looking forlornly out the window. "You miss him, don't you?" asked Raye. Serena nodded, tears coursing down her face. She turned to Amy, a pleading look upon her face.   
  
"Have you seen him?" she asked, her voice wavy and her lips quivering. Amy nodded. "How was he?"  
  
"He's...he's taking your disappearance hard. Darien hasn't been the same since you left. Candace tells me that he's immersed himself totally in his work and that he hasn't been with any other woman ever since you went away," Amy said.  
  
"Good. He should take it hard," Raye said, crossing her arms over her chest. "It's his own stupid fault he's in this state in the first place."  
  
"Raye..."  
  
"What Amy? Trust me, Serena's better off without that scumbag."  
  
"What about the baby? Would the baby be better off without him?" Amy argued.  
  
"The baby could do with a better father than Darien Shields."  
  
"ENOUGH!" The two arguing friends looked at Serena in shock. "That is enough! I don't want to hear any more about Darien or about how he's supposedly so miserable ever since I left and I don't want to hear any more about how much of a scumbag my baby's father is. I won't hear another bad word against Darien. I don't want my daughter to grow up hating her father because my friends and family hate him on my behalf. The truth is, I don't hate him. If anything, I love him even more for giving me this child," she added softly.  
  
Amy put a hand on her shoulder. "So why don't you want to tell him about her?"  
  
Serena shrugged. "I guess I'm afraid that I'll lose yet another part of him if I tell him. This baby is the only thing I have left of Darien. If I can't have him, then I'll be satisfied to have his child."  
  
"Serena, you are crazy. Get over him, already!" Raye shook her head angrily at her friend.   
  
Serena turned sad eyes towards her concerned friend. "I can't do that, Raye. I can never forget about him. I'm carrying his _child_ for god's sakes! How can I ever forget? I still love him, okay? Can't you understand that? He's a part of me, even though he doesn't know it. I love him and I can't tell him because..."  
  
"Because what, Sere?" Amy whispered.  
  
"Because he hurt me. He hurt me so bad and he doesn't even know how," she whimpered. Serena broke down in helpless tears. Amy and Raye wrapped her up in their arms and held her, crying with her. They stayed that way until Justin got home from his day with Kayla. He saw the women huddled together on the couch, holding onto each other for moral support. Justin wisely turned around and headed out the door without making a sound.   
  
"C'mon sweetie, mommy needs some more time with Aunty Sere and daddy wants more time with his baby," he whispered. Kayla nodded solemnly and patted her dad's cheek.   
  
"Wuv you, daddy."  
  
"I love you too baby."  
  
**********************************  
  
.oO April-ninth month of pregnancy Oo.  
  
**LA**  
  
"Hey Drew, what's up?" Darien and Drew had agreed to meet at the basketball court at the park near Darien's house to shoot a few hoops. Darien took a shot, missed and cursed fluently.  
  
"Ouch, my virgin ears," joked Andrew. He picked up the ball and started dribbling it, making his way to the basket. "So, how are things going with the Serena situation?"  
  
Having adequately distracted Darien, Drew set up the shot and scored. Darien scowled and grabbed the ball from him. "That was dirty, man." He bounced the ball off Drew's head, caught it and threw it into the basket.   
  
"Nothin' but net," he whooped.  
  
Andrew rubbed his head painfully and smacked Darien in the shoulder.   
  
"So?"  
  
"So?" Darien mimicked. He sighed and watched Andrew sink another basket. "She's gone. What else is there to say?"  
  
"I don't know. Are you going to do anything about it?" Andrew blocked Darien's attempt at the basket.  
  
"What else can I do? She shut me out before she left; I doubt she's going to let me back in after all this time." He took a shot and it went in. "Finally."  
  
"Why are you giving up so easily? I thought I knew you better than that, man."  
  
Darien shrugged and reached for his towel on the bench. The two sat down for a break and splashed water on themselves. "I don't know, how many times do I set myself up for more disappointment, Drew? Tell me something, man. What did she use to talk to you about?"  
  
Andrew took a swig of his water before answering. "Um...she talked about her childhood and all..."  
  
"What about her childhood?" Darien persisted.  
  
"You know I can't tell you that, Darien. All I can say is that she's had a seriously raw deal and it's made her grow up faster than other kids her age. I also know what caused her to run away from you..."  
  
"Tell me!"  
  
"No."  
  
"Then why did you bring it up, you bastard?" Darien punched Andrew in the shoulder.   
  
"I just wanted you to know that she has a valid reason for leaving. If you could just remember..."  
  
Darien raked his hand through his hair in agitation. "Remember _what_? Tell me!"  
  
"I can't! You have to remember for yourself. Your apology would be worthless to Serena if I told you what to be sorry for. Just think back to when all this hostility from Serena started," Andrew hinted. 'Please God, let him remember.'  
  
Darien wracked his brain, trying to recall everything he said and did that could have set her off but came up with nothing. He shook his head wordlessly and cradled his head in his hands. "Dammit!" he swore.  
  
Andrew groaned and rolled his eyes ruefully. 'Those damn Tylenol pills were stronger than I thought.' He patted Darien awkwardly on the back. "Don't worry about it so much man; I'm sure you'll remember soon."  
  
Darien glared at his friend through his fingers. "Are you through patronizing me? I told you I can't remember so just lay off, okay? Besides, why couldn't she just tell me what I did wrong instead of just leaving without saying anything?"  
  
Andrew said nothing, preferring to keep his peace on the subject. 'These two just have to work it out for themselves. I'm tired of being in the middle.' He sighed. "C'mon Darien, let's finish the game."  
  
**Toronto**  
  
Serena woke up that morning with a radiant smile upon her face, despite the indigestion she had been feeling for the past two days. She showered and changed quickly before she went to the kitchen to have breakfast with her aunt. Celeste looked up from the omelet she was making for Serena and noticed the smile upon her face. "Good morning, dear. What's the smile all about?"  
  
Serena kissed her on the cheek and rubbed her tummy. "It's only three more weeks before the baby arrives. I can't wait." Serena sat down at the table and waited for her aunt to join her.  
  
"When are you going on maternity leave?" Celeste placed the finished omelet in front of Serena, who dug in ravenously. She chewed her food dutifully before answering.  
  
"Next week."   
  
"Shouldn't you be taking it easy? You _are_ going to have a baby in three weeks," Celeste pointed out.  
  
"My doctor said it was okay to work just as long as I take it easy. I know a girl who worked until the day she gave birth." Serena finished her eggs in record time and stood up. "Well, I'm off. I start work in about an hour."  
  
"Do you want me to drive you? I have the day off," Celeste offered. Serena smiled and nodded happily. "Let's go then."  
  
They got in the car and were soon speeding off toward the highway. They settled in a comfortable silence, listening to the radio, when all of a sudden, Serena doubled over in pain. Celeste immediately put her hand on Serena's stomach and started to change lanes, trying to pull over to the shoulder.   
  
"What's wrong Serena?"  
  
"I...I think I'm going into labour," she gasped. Celeste managed to stop the car on the side and looked at her watch. The next contraction came just minutes later.   
  
"Serena! We have to call an ambulance! You're going to have the baby soon!" Searching her purse for her cell phone, Celeste dialed 911 and told them their situation and their approximate location on the highway. Then, she made Serena lie down in the backseat and ran around to the other side, narrowly missing the speeding cars.   
  
Serena screamed in pain as she fought her way through another contraction. "Oh my God!"  
  
Celeste held her hand and checked to see how much Serena was dilated. "Serena! You're dilated ten centimeters! Didn't you feel the contractions before this morning?" she screeched.  
  
"No! I thought it was indigestion! I've been feeling this for the past two days!" Serena felt another contraction and bared down. "Oh God, I have to push! I have to push!"  
  
"Then do it!"  
  
"AUGGHH! I HATE YOU DARIEN SHIELDS!" she screamed as she pushed. The pain was unbearable and Serena thought she was going to pass out from the pain. "I can't do this anymore, Aunt Celeste. It hurts too much!" she wept.  
  
"You can do this, Sere. You don't have a choice in the matter. Push!" Celeste ordered. In the distance, they could hear the wail of sirens approaching. "They're coming, Sere. Hang on."  
  
Serena screamed in pain. "I can't...I can't wait for them. Get this kid out of meeee!" she wailed. She gave another push and felt her muscles being stretched and her insides on fire. Suddenly, a baby's cry could be heard above the street noise. "Is she okay? Is she okay?" she asked anxiously.  
  
Celeste beamed through her tears. "She's beautiful Sere. She's so beautiful."  
  
The ambulance crew arrived and took over from there. They cleaned mother and child up and strapped both of them to a stretcher. As Serena was being lifted into the ambulance, she could see that traffic had come to a virtual standstill in order for passing motorists to observe the drama unfolding. Celeste scrambled into the ambulance after her and sat down beside Serena.   
  
"What are you going to name her, honey?"  
  
Serena fingered her daughter's curly black hair and kissed her face gently. "Isabella. Isabella Mathis," she replied weakly. "Isn't she the most beautiful little girl, Aunty?"  
  
Celeste nodded her head and kissed Serena on the forehead. "She takes after her mother." They smiled when Isabella yawned, her closed eyes scrunching up and her heart-shaped lips stretched widely. "Yep, she takes after her mother alright."  
  
"Hey!"  
  
************************************************************************  
  
Phew! That's 45 pages of pure agony! My frigging fingers are going to fall off so please R&R! BIG thank you to Aria for straightening out my pregnancy misconceptions and for not killing when I bugged her ass too much ; ) 


	13. Into the Lion's Den

This chapter is dedicated to Mel on her birthday. It's now Monday, July 1, 2002 (Happy Canada, folks!) and I hope that I get this done in time for her birthday, which is on Friday. *Crosses fingers, toes, arms, legs, eyes and heart* I'm now going to rely on my super powers to get this puppy done and out on AI and/or ff.net so I get all of you off my back....lol. Lucky for you I like strangers on my back....purrrrrr.... Hehehe...I just noticed that in previous chapters, I referred to the woman Darien almost slept with in chapter 5 as Trista, then in chapter 12, she miraculously changes her name to Setsuna. My bad...I'll change it back on AI cuz it's easy to edit but ff.netters will just have to live with it because it's too much of a hassle to remove the chapter, fix it, then reload it before the site goes down again.  
  
**************************  
  
Wounded Souls  
  
Chapter twelve-Into the Lion's Den  
  
By: ~crystal~rose~{@  
  
July 1, 2002  
  
***************************  
  
**October-6 months later**  
  
Darien burst through the doors of the library where his mother and father were waiting for his arrival. He was tired and sweaty when he had received the summons from his mother at the stable where he had been cloistered all day, working with the horses.  
  
"You wanted to see me, mom?" he asked, wiping the sweat from his brow. Walter wrinkled his nose and hid behind the book he was reading.   
  
"Phew, boy! You stink to the high heavens! Gracious my boy, do me a favour and don't sit down. You'll really do a number on the sofa." Ever since Bjorn had deemed him well enough not to rely on help from a physical therapist four months ago, Walter had been more vocal about his opinions, if that was possible. He rose from his seat with a newspaper in his hand and walked over to Darien, who was standing by the door and well aware of his smelly state. "Here boy, stand on this," he said, spreading the newspaper on the floor beneath Darien's feet. "Don't want to soil the carpet, you know."  
  
Darien scowled but obediently stepped on the newspaper. "What is it you wanted, mom?"   
  
Candace looked up from the papers spread out on the desk and smiled at her dirt and sweat-streaked son. He looked just like the mischievous little boy who would run away from her whenever he was due for a spanking. "Well, as you know, I've been organizing a seminar on the importance of women in the medical field for college students..."  
  
"Go on," Darien prompted, somehow not liking the tone of his mother's voice.  
  
Candace smiled beguilingly at him, furthering his suspicions. "Well, I was thinking of inviting Amy along as a guest speaker," she replied, avoiding his eyes.  
  
"So?"  
  
"Well...I was thinking that maybe, since it is Saturday, that you'd go to her office and ask her for me." Candace braced herself for the impending outburst she was sure to come. She wasn't disappointed.  
  
"WHAT? Why can't you do it?" he exclaimed, a hint of a whine in his voice.  
  
"I'm expecting a very important phone call from one of the prospective speakers sometime today. Please Darien, do this for me," she pleaded, batting her eyelashes and clasping her hands. She knew it was a dirty trick, pulling the puppy face on her own son, but desperate times called for desperate measures.  
  
  
  
Darien folded his arms across his chest and shook his head firmly. Candace sighed. "Well ok, son, if that's how you feel. I'll just leave my post here at the phone and hope that Dr. Johnson doesn't call while I'm out. I'd hate to think that young women fresh out of college would ignore going into medicine just because she wasn't there to inspire them, but I understand if you're busy. You can go play with your little horses now, Darien. Your sense of duty towards those horses is admirable, why, you'd even forsake your duty to your own mother for them." Candace stood up and began gathering her papers together, preparing for a sweeping exit.  
  
Darien squirmed on his newspaper, feeling guilty for saying no to his mother. Sure, he knew that this was just a ploy to make him do her bidding but it was very effective. "That's okay, mother. Just give me a half hour to shower and I'll be on my way," he said in a defeated voice. Darien turned and walked out of the library, missing his mother's triumphant smile.  
  
"You know, Candy, there's no one else better than you at laying down guilt trips," Walter commented, picking up the newspaper Darien had left behind with his thumb and forefinger gingerly and tossed them into the garbage can.  
  
"I've had years of practice, honey," she replied loftily.  
  
**************************  
  
An hour later, Darien was strolling along the halls of Cedars-Sinai hospital, in the direction of Dr. Amy Harris' office. The woman at the information desk told him that Dr. Harris was making rounds at the moment and that he should just go wait in her office if he wanted. 'If I wanted to,' he sniffed as he opened the door that led to Amy's office. "I hope the door isn't locked," Darien said as he turned the knob. The door opened easily and Darien entered the office quietly.   
  
He sat down in one of the chairs in front of Amy's desk. 'Her office sure is clean,' he thought absently, looking around at the butter yellow walls and light blue carpet. There were framed pictures of artwork from local artists on the walls and a leather couch behind him. The room was tastefully decorated and Darien could see that it suited Amy perfectly.   
  
'I don't want to be here,' he thought, slouching in his chair. He looked impatiently at his watch and saw that he had only been waiting for less than five minutes. 'I don't want to be around anything that reminds me of Serena.'   
  
In the past seven months since the incident with Trista, Darien had shunned any woman that showed any remote interest in him. He had come to the conclusion that women were shortening his lifespan. He felt terrible for calling Serena's name out while he was with Trista and he had tried to apologize repeatedly for it. He called her house and sent her flowers and small gifts, all of which were refused and sent back unopened. Finally, after two weeks of apologizing, he decided that enough was enough. If Trista wanted nothing to do with him, he sure as hell wanted nothing to do with her. Darien couldn't even fathom why he was there at her house that night, except that he was lonely and needed to feel wanted. He knew it was a poor excuse, but that was the truth. Trista just happened to be the unfortunate woman who caught Darien at a vulnerable moment. He didn't like what he did to her, but he wouldn't apologize for it his entire life.  
  
Darien looked at his watch again. 'It's been twenty minutes already. I've had enough. I'll just leave her a note to call my mother back at the house and leave,' he thought. Darien stood up and leaned over Amy's desk, searching for a piece of paper and a pen. He was careful not to disturb any files that Amy had left spread out on her desk. Finally, he spotted a pen hidden underneath a file folder and, after rummaging around some more, found a blank piece of paper on the far side of the desk. As he leaned farther out over the desk, his left arm knocked over a framed photo onto the floor.  
  
The frame fell face down on the floor with a slight thump but was otherwise undamaged. Darien let out the breath he was holding and bent down to pick it up. He turned the frame over in his hands and gasped at the image that stared back at him.  
  
It was Serena.  
  
She was smiling as she clutched her stomach.  
  
Her very pregnant stomach.  
  
Darien's hands shook as he turned the frame over and opened the back to take the photo out. He recognized Serena's familiar handwriting immediately.   
  
"'March 12th, 2003,'" he read. "'Dear Amy, only one more month until I become a mommy and I can't wait! I still don't know what to name her. I've narrowed it down to Lily Elizabeth Mathis and Isabella Mathis. I don't know which name to pick. Anyway, I just wanted to send you this picture so that you can see that we're very much ok. Love always, Serena.' She was pregnant?" Darien asked himself. Doing some quick calculations, he learned that Serena was pregnant before she left LA. With shaking hands, he replaced the picture back in its frame and placed it back on the desk where it had been originally resting. He turned and left the office without bothering to write the note after all.  
  
**********************************  
  
Darien sat sullenly at the dinner table later that evening, picking at his food. When he came back from his unfulfilled errand, he escaped to the privacy of his room, but not before having been interrogated by his mother as to the outcome of his trip. He replied that Amy wasn't at her office and that he didn't feel the need to waste his entire afternoon waiting for her when she could easily call her the next day. He stomped up the stairs before his mother could reprimand him for his rudeness.  
  
Now that he was there at the table, he was hardly any better than he was when he came back home. Candace and Walter looked at each other warily, silently debating whether or not they should talk to their temperamental son. In the end, Candace decided to ask what was bothering Darien.  
  
"Nothing," he replied, pushing his peas across his plate. Candace sighed. It was like raising a teenager all over again.  
  
"What is it, son? You haven't been alright since you came back from Amy's office. Did something happen?" she questioned.   
  
"I said nothing happened, so just butt out, okay? Geez, I'm not a little kid anymore," Darien exclaimed, throwing down his napkin on the table. Walter frowned and took a sip of water before answering him.  
  
"You will not talk to your mother in that tone of voice young man. You may be an adult now, but as long as you're living under my house and as long as we're alive, you will treat us with respect. Is that understood." His last sentence was more of a command than a question, and Darien was wise enough to recognize it. He grudgingly nodded his head. "Good. Now why don't you answer your mother."   
  
"Serena had a baby." He said this so low that his parents asked him to repeat it. When he did, he was greeted with stunned silence. Finally, Candace was able to get her senses together and looked at her son questioningly.  
  
"How do you know? When? Who's the father?" she asked, not stopping for a breath between questions.  
  
"I found a picture of her while she was eight months pregnant. She gave birth last April," he replied sullenly. Walter did the same calculations his son did a few hours earlier and it finally dawned on him why Serena was acting the way she was.  
  
'So that was why she was in such a hurry to leave,' he thought. "You have to go to Toronto and bring her and the baby back here."  
  
Darien snapped his head up and looked at his father disbelievingly. "Why should I do that? This is her problem, not mine." Candace just sat there, watching her son and husband contemplatively.  
  
Walter threw his napkin down on the table in disgust. "I always knew you were a womanizer, Darien, but I didn't know you were also a deadbeat father. I had hoped that when you impregnated a woman with my grandchild, you would be responsible enough to take care of it. Obviously, I was wrong. I've never been more disappointed in you, son."  
  
Darien's eyes got round as he went over everything that his father had said. "Whoa, whoa! You lost me at deadbeat father. What the hell are you talking about?" he cried.  
  
It was Walter's turn to be surprised. "You mean, you don't remember?"  
  
"Remember what?" Why was everyone asking him that these days?  
  
Walter cursed inwardly as he realized that he had just revealed the big secret Serena wanted him to keep. But in light of current revelations, he felt that his actions were justified. "She told me before she left that the two of you slept together the night before Amy's wedding. Now, if my calculations are correct, that child she had could very well be yours."  
  
Darien stopped breathing and he felt all the blood drain from his body. "What?" he asked weakly. "Did you just say that Serena and I slept together? She told you? She was the one?" Darien's mind whirled with the information presented to him. He vaguely remembered taking a blonde woman upstairs in his arms that night but that was the extent of his memories. What he did remember was the sex. That was the best sexual experience he'd ever had-not because of the act itself, but because of the incredible feeling of intimacy and security he felt with the woman in his bed-ever since he lost his virginity to his 18 year-old girlfriend when he was just 16. They broke up two months later.  
  
Walter nodded. "Go to Toronto and find out if this child is yours or not. If my suspicions are correct, Serena left LA because she knew she was carrying your child."  
  
"Why didn't she tell me? What did she say to you?" Darien was having a hard time coming to terms with the fact that his father knew more about his sex life than he did.  
  
"She told me that you were drunk and that she was lonely when you happened upon each other. I saw you carrying her upstairs with my own two eyes. It didn't take a genius to figure out what you had in mind," Walter replied.   
  
"Why didn't you tell me?" Hurt and betrayal laced Darien's words as he looked at his father.   
  
Walter sighed. "What would you have said when I told you that I saw you and Serena that night? You'd say that I was meddling in your business again and that I should just butt out. Serena asked me to keep quiet about that night because she felt humiliated."  
  
"Humiliated? Why?"  
  
"How would you feel if the person you slept with forgot who you were the next day?" Walter countered. Darien understood. It was basically what he did to Trista, only he forgot her during the act, not after. He rose from his seat without another word and strode decidedly to the phone resting on the buffet cabinet behind them.  
  
"Hello, Jerry? How soon can you come up with a flight plan to Toronto?" Darien paused, listening to the man on the other end. "Three hours? Good. Thanks a lot." Without another word, Darien turned and left the room to pack.  
  
After he was gone, Walter turned to his wife, who had not said a word throughout their entire exchange. "Candy?" he asked. Candace turned to him, eyes blazing.  
  
"How could you keep this from me? From Darien?" she asked. Walter winced at the betrayed look on her face.  
  
"I didn't know she was pregnant when she left. She had asked me to keep the fact that she and Darien slept together a secret because she supposedly seduced him while he was under the influence. Serena was humiliated and she begged me not to tell Darien, to let him remember on his own, if he ever did," he explained.  
  
"I bet she _did_ seduce him. I shouldn't have let her into our home," fumed Candace. Walter could see that Serena was going to have major problems if she ever came back.  
  
"Now, now, dear. We don't know the full story so maybe we should reserve our judgment of her behaviour until she gets here," Walter said, trying to soothe his irate wife by massaging her shoulders. She shrugged his hands off and stood up.  
  
"This isn't over, Walter. I can't believe you kept something of this magnitude from me, not to mention your own son." Candace left the room without looking back.  
  
Alone at the table, Walter looked at the empty spaces left by his wife and son and sighed. 'I hope you bring her back, son. I want to see my grandchild.'  
  
**********************  
  
Darien rang the doorbell of a small bungalow in a quiet neighbourhood in suburban Toronto. It was two o'clock in the afternoon, Toronto time, and he had arrived at about five in the morning. After taking a few hours' nap in a hotel room that he had booked from the plane, he woke up and made his way to Serena's house. He stood outside for a few minutes, trying to work up the courage to walk up the steps, ring the doorbell and face his future, whatever that may be.  
  
After ringing the bell about ten times with no answer or even a hint of inhabitants within the house, Darien began to feel that maybe she wasn't home or that he had gotten the wrong house. Just as he was about to step into his rented black sedan, he thought he heard a voice coming from the back yard. Curiosity getting the better of him, he closed the car door and walked to the gate leading to the back of the house. There he saw the woman who had been haunting his dreams for more than a year since her abrupt departure. Her back facing him, Darien could see that she was speaking softly and looking at the trees, whose leaves had changed from green to beautiful shades of yellow, red and orange.   
  
Suddenly, she turned so that Darien could see her profile but she still hadn't taken notice of his presence. In her arms was a chubby baby, bundled up in a colourful dress and white tights to protect her from the brisk autumn afternoon. On her head was a bonnet with ear covers, effectively keeping the chilly wind from her ears and head.  
  
"See honey? Aren't the leaves pretty?" Darien heard Serena ask the baby in her arms. The little angel clapped her hands in glee and giggled, instantly warming his heart. She reached her little arms towards the heavens, straining to catch a falling leaf. She scrunched up her face in disappointment when the leaf fell to the ground.   
  
"Here, baby," Serena said, catching a red leaf for her daughter, "take this." Serena kissed her tenderly on the cheek as she twirled the leaf by the stem. Suddenly, a gust of wind blew the baby's hat from her head. If Darien had any doubts as to the paternity of the child Serena was holding, they were erased when his eyes took notice of her black hair, falling in ringlets around her ears. Serena bent down to pick up the hat and on her way up, saw him standing at the gate, watching them.  
  
They stared at each other for a minute before the baby's gurgle broke the silence. Serena blinked and clutched her tighter to her chest. From where he stood, Darien could tell she was fighting back tears. "Darien," she said, her voice shaky and full of an emotion that he just couldn't identify. "Come inside; I've been wondering when you would figure it out."  
  
Darien said nothing as he followed her into the house and closed the sliding glass door silently behind him. He watched Serena walk to a desk by the window, open a drawer and rummage around, seemingly in search for something. At last, she found the papers she was looking for. Wordlessly, she handed him what appeared to be court documents and watched as he read it.  
  
"What the hell is this?" he demanded. Serena shushed him, telling him not to use such language in front of her daughter.  
  
"They're dissolution of parental rights documents. I assume you're here because you think that I would want to sue you for child support now that you know you have a daughter. I've had these drawn up a week after she was born with just this day in mind," she said calmly, as if reciting a grocery list to him.   
  
Darien looked her angrily in the eye and tore up the papers, much to her surprise. "I'm not signing this. I can't believe you kept this from me, Serena. She's my daughter too, and I don't even know her name."  
  
"Isabella," she replied softly.  
  
"I want you and Isabella to come back to LA with me, at least until your maternity leave is over. We can figure something out then," Darien stated. When Serena shook her head firmly, he continued. "If you don't, I'm going to sue you for full custody and you'll never see her again."  
  
Serena's legs shook as she held Isabella tighter to her chest. The baby seemed to pick up on her mother's distress because she immediately began to cry. "It's okay, honey. Mommy's fine," she cooed. Eventually, Isabella's wails turned into soft sobs before she fell asleep altogether. While she rocked her child to sleep, she was thankful that Darien had at least kept quiet, letting her think things through. She saw that she had no choice. If she refused to accompany him back to California, he would sue her, hiring all the legal powerhouses the Shields money could buy while she would get the best lawyer her meager savings and her inheritance could afford. "Alright Darien, I'll go with you. But I'm not leaving until I say goodbye to my family and friends first." The look on her face and the tone of her voice told Darien that this was one area she was not going to back down from.   
  
He looked at his watch impatiently. He had wanted to get back by nightfall in LA but this latest development would set him back to the next day. "Okay, we'll wait. I've got the jet anyway so we can leave whenever we want tomorrow."  
  
Serena nodded tensely. "Would you like to hold her while I make a few phone calls?" she asked in a business-like tone. Darien's eyes lit up and he nodded eagerly. Carefully, Serena transferred the sleeping baby to his open arms, which stiffened as soon she was laying on them. "Relax Darien, she won't break. Besides, I'll be right here, watching you." She said the last two words sound almost like a threat.  
  
Serena dialed a number on the phone and sat down. After a few rings, she heard a familiar voice answer. "Sam Mathis, sports."  
  
"Hey Sammy, it's me." Serena could just imagine what he's going to say when he gets to the house later that evening.  
  
"Hey Sere, what's up?"  
  
"Could you come by when you're off work? It's important," she said.  
  
"Sure, what's this about?"   
  
"Umm, just come by the house and I'll explain everything."   
  
"Are you sure you're fine, sis?" Serena could hear the concern in his voice. Ever since he received an urgent phone call at work from his aunt, telling him to come to the hospital because his sister had given birth in the car on the highway, Sammy had been even more protective of her. He was a doting uncle who came by every Saturday afternoon with a new toy for his niece. Serena once complained that there were more toys in her house than at Toys R Us.  
  
"I'm sure, Sammy. See you later." She hung up the phone and dialed her aunt's work number. While the phone was ringing, she watched Darien cradling his daughter in his arms. The expression on his face was one of pure fascination and adoration. Had the situation not been so serious, she would have chuckled and teased him about it. When she got Celeste's voice mail, she left a quick message and hung up the phone. She made a similar phone call to Raye's house and left almost the exact same message on her machine.  
  
When she got off the phone, she went back to the couch where Darien was sitting, admiring his new daughter. "She's beautiful," he whispered, more to himself than to her. Serena almost hated to break the father-daughter bonding but she eased Isabella out of his arms and into hers.   
  
"I'm just going to put her in her crib. Do you want to come?" she asked. When he nodded his head eagerly, she turned and started walking down the hall where the nursery was located right beside her room. Darien walked into the pink room decorated with white bunnies and smiled softly. He could tell that Serena had a hand in decorating the nursery. Serena gently lay Isabella down in her white crib and wound up a little toy that played 'Rock a bye, baby' softly.  
  
Darien watched as Serena opened the closet and took out a small suitcase. "I'm going to pack a few of her clothes now so that I don't have to worry about it later," she explained, avoiding his eyes.   
  
"Do you need my help?" he asked.  
  
"No, that's okay. Maybe you could help me later with the crib and stuff like that," she said, placing a few outfits in the bag.   
  
"That's not necessary. I called my mother from the jet and told her to prepare a nursery for when we arrive." Serena gritted her teeth but said nothing. "What?"  
  
"You were so sure that I would just come running when you told me to, huh?" she bit out, managing to just barely control the volume of her voice. "You were so sure that your little threat would work, weren't you?"  
  
"You're coming with me, aren't you?" he retorted. Serena refused to dignify that with a response so she kept packing. Darien looked at the white bureau on the other side of the room and looked at the pictures resting on top of it. He was surprised to find a picture of himself right beside her own.   
  
"You have a picture of me?" he asked.  
  
"I wanted Isabella to know what her father looked like so I put up your picture. This is the second one actually; Sammy threw the first one out the window." What she didn't tell him was that Sammy had thrown it out his car window and ran over it a few times on the driveway, crushing the frame and tearing the picture into shreds.  
  
"If you had told me in the first place, there wouldn't be need for a picture." He grew frustrated when Serena didn't say anything. "Why didn't you tell me?"  
  
Serena finally looked up from her packing and sighed. "How much do you remember about that night, Darien?" she asked.  
  
"To be honest with you, not a lot. I just remember a blonde and carrying her up the stairs. I don't remember anything else," he admitted.  
  
"So how did you find out?" Darien told her the previous day's events and by the time he was finished, Serena was cursing herself for sending that photo to Amy. At least he couldn't remember her saying that she loved him, or him telling her that he loved her. There was still that much left. So she decided to let him continue thinking that she had indeed seduced him because in her mind, that was a lesser humiliation than being duped into going to bed with the first man who's ever said 'I love you' to her in her entire life, and finding that it was false the next day. She took a deep breath and mentally prepared herself for what she had to say to keep her story up. "Look Darien, I'm really sorry about not telling you about Isabella. I was scared when I found out that I was pregnant and then my mother died a week later. It was just too much for me so I decided to take off."  
  
Darien looked at her sternly and Serena was suddenly feeling like a teacher was reprimanding her for her bad behaviour. "That's no excuse and you know it. Were you ever going to tell me that I had a daughter?"  
  
On the outside, Serena looked repentant, but on the inside, her pride was smarting from his rebuke. 'This never would've happened if I had just stuck to my guns that night and never gone to bed with him,' she thought rebelliously. 'He has no right to judge me for my actions because his are just as bad as mine.' She showed no reaction to his words, further frustrating Darien. "Do you want to look at some photo albums?" she asked as a way of getting him to stop looking at her with so much blame and anger. Darien nodded after a few seconds of thought and waited for her to come back into the nursery with an armful of albums in her hand.   
  
"I've been photographing her practically everyday," she explained, opening up an album for him to see. There were black and white photos of Isabella at various stages of her development. Darien was amazed at the professional quality of the photos and its artistic nature.   
  
"These are great. I can't believe you took these."  
  
"There's a lot you don't know about me, Darien," she replied cryptically but Darien was too engrossed in looking at the pictures to hear her.  
  
****************************  
  
It was almost six o'clock and they both knew everyone would be arriving shortly. Serena and Darien had spent the past few hours poring over the photo albums and watching home movies of their daughter. When Isabella woke up, Darien played with her, almost hesitantly at first, then with an enthusiasm rivaling that of a four year old as the time wore on. Serena had shown him newspaper clippings reporting Isabella's birth on the highway and had played the tapes of every news broadcast of the event that she had. There was even a whole page dedicated to her, Isabella and Celeste in the hospital newsletter.   
  
The doorbell rang just a few minutes after they cleaned Isabella up from her meal and Serena rushed to answer the door. She found Sammy and Celeste standing at the top of the stairs with Justin's car just pulling into the driveway. When everyone had entered the house, she settled them down in the living room and started wringing her hands in worry. She told Darien to wait in the nursery until she called him before he made his appearance.  
  
"What is this about, Serena?" Raye asked, getting to the point. "You left a message at my house saying that you needed to tell us something important and to come over here when Justin got back from work. So here we are; what's up?"  
  
Serena smiled wryly and took a calming breath. "You don't beat around the bush, do you, Raye?" she asked. Seeing that Raye was beginning to fume, she continued hastily. "I just wanted to say goodbye before I left for LA."  
  
"WHAT?!" all four of them exploded at once, scaring Kayla half to death. Raye began to comfort her when she could hear whimpers coming from her child.   
  
"It's that Darien bastard, isn't it?" Sammy said venomously.   
  
Serena nodded her head and began to explain his sudden appearance that afternoon at their house and his request that she come back with him. Serena had deliberately left out the part where he threatened to push for full custody in order to keep the peace, but she could see by the dark looks on Sammy and Justin's faces that it was not meant to be. "Where is he?" Justin asked, a frown marring his usually easy-going face. Raye held his arm back, as if she was afraid that he was going on a murderous rampage at any second.  
  
At that moment, Darien stepped out from the hallway, carrying Isabella in his arms. Serena could almost swear that Sammy's pupils turned red at the sight. "Let go of my niece!" he demanded, pushing past Serena and jabbing a finger in Darien's chest. Darien, in turn, held Isabella even tighter in his grip and turned his body to shield her from the confrontation he had been preparing himself for the moment he stepped through the door that afternoon.  
  
"In case you've conveniently inherited your sister's sudden case of amnesia, let me remind you that I am her father. Therefore, as her parent, I am more entitled to be in her life than you, so back off," he sneered. Sammy's face turned red with anger and his hands clenched into fists.  
  
Serena stepped in between them and took her child from Darien, hoping to ease the tension building up between the two men. She urged her brother to sit down beside Celeste, who sat in shocked silence. Finally, she spoke.  
  
"What made you decide to move back there, Serena?"   
  
"Um, well...I've realized that it was..." here she had a hard time forming the words that she had to say, "wrong of me to keep Isabella from her father and his family. I've already agreed to live out the rest of my maternity leave there in his home."  
  
"But what about after?" Celeste asked. Serena turned to Darien, asking him the same question with her eyes.   
  
"We'll cross that bridge when we get there," he answered. Sammy and Justin exchanged angry looks with each other and glared at him.  
  
"So what happens if Sere wants to come back here after six months?" Justin asked angrily. "You'll dump her on the next available flight and keep Isabella there, is that it? I don't think so, Shields. If Sere comes back without that baby, you can be sure I'll be there within the next few hours to get her back with a baseball bat in my hand."  
  
"Don't forget me," Sammy added. Serena groaned inwardly at this display of male chauvinism.   
  
"I want in on this deal too." Raye stood up from her seat and strode over to Darien, eyes narrowed and nostrils flaring. "You hurt my best friend, you lying piece of trash. You told her you lo-OW!" Serena pinched Raye's back to keep her from finishing her sentence. "What did you do that for?" she demanded, rubbing at the spot that was in pain. Serena shrugged weakly and smiled.  
  
"I just didn't want you to say something you'll regret," she said. 'I don't want you to say something _I'll_ regret,' she added silently.  
  
Raye scowled. "Believe me, I won't regret anything I have to say to this guy. I think he's an asshole for doing what he did. What gives him the right to just stand there and judge you like that? Just because he's a Shields, doesn't mean he can come in here and take what's not his."  
  
"Not mine? I do believe that this is _my_ daughter, Raye, and she's been kept from me for far too long. This has nothing to do with my name or how much money I have. Serena's irresponsible actions speak for themselves, so I don't need to stand here in judgment of them or her. I came here to see my daughter and to try to work out a deal with her mother. That is all." Darien's patience had worn thin with their accusations.   
  
Serena stood in the midst of the hostility, her heart breaking. When she heard him speak about her as if she were a criminal about to be convicted of a crime, she knew that there was nothing between them anymore. To hear him refer to her as nothing more than his daughter's mother just shattered any hopes she had of getting back her former friendship with him. Forcing back the tears, she faced the warring groups of people with a shaky smile. "We're going to be leaving in the morning so why don't you guys just go home and cool off? Aunt Celeste, will you be alright here by yourself without me?" she asked.  
  
Celeste bit her lip, considering her words carefully. "Although I hate this man for what he did to my niece, I'm afraid that he's right. He does have a right to see his daughter, but from what I've been hearing of him and from what I've seen today, I'm not impressed with him. Frankly Serena, you could have done much better. This man has hurt and humiliated you in front of your family and friends. It's obvious that you're not willing to go along with him but he's got something over you. If it's the custody issue you're worried about, let me assure you that I would work till my dying day to make sure that it never happens. Don't let him force you into doing something you don't want to do."  
  
Serena felt tears prick her eyes and she thanked God that the living room was dark so the rest of them couldn't see. "No...it's not that, Aunt Celeste. I promise you." Serena felt the mountain of lies she'd been telling ever since she slept with Darien grow ever larger, so that she was having a hard time remembering what had started it all in the first place. "Please you guys, I need your support in this."   
  
Raye hugged Serena and kissed Isabella on the cheek. "If you're sure..." Serena nodded firmly, not trusting herself to speak. "Ok then. Call me once you're settled," she added, pulling Justin away from Darien. Justin kissed Serena on the cheek and Isabella on the forehead.  
  
"If he does _anything_ to you, just give me a call and I'll be over here just as soon as I can," he whispered in her ear. Serena smiled and hugged him fiercely.  
  
Sammy glowered at Darien one last time before turning to Serena. "Call me if you need anything or you just need to talk. Don't let this creep get you down, sis. I swear I'll bust his ass if he harms one hair on your head or on Isabella's," he said loudly for Darien's benefit. Darien rolled his eyes before narrowing them.   
  
"I would never hurt my daughter." Serena couldn't help but notice that he didn't say the same for her. Giving her a big hug and Isabella a kiss on the cheek, Sammy turned to the door where Raye, Justin and Kayla were waiting for him. Celeste walked them out the door to give Serena and Darien a little privacy.  
  
"What time are you going to pick us up, Darien?" she asked. Darien raised an eyebrow and folded his arms across his chest.  
  
"What makes you think I'm leaving this house? There's no way I'm leaving you here alone with Isabella, not by a long shot. Who knows how far away you'd be by the time morning rolls around?" he asked.  
  
Although she knew she deserved that, Serena couldn't help but feel a little hurt. It was one thing to keep Isabella away from him when Darien didn't even know she existed, but it was another thing to sneak away with her in the dead of night like some common criminal with her loot. "I gave you my word that I would go back with you, what more do you want?" she asked softly.  
  
"Yeah, we all know how good your word is," Darien scoffed. "You want to know what I want? I want those six months back. I want to be present for her birth, to see her as she grew up. You took that away from me Serena and I don't think I can forgive you for that."  
  
Serena handed Isabella over to Darien and disappeared down the hallway. He heard her opening a door and rummaging through a closet. Soon she returned armed with a sheet, blanket and a pillow. "You can sleep on the couch." She took Isabella and handed him the items. "When my aunt comes back, tell her we're in my room packing." She walked down the hallway and disappeared into her room without looking back.  
  
Darien sighed as he made up the couch. He was about to tell Celeste where Serena had gone but she walked by him without a word and slammed the door to her room. This was not how he wanted to reunite with Serena and meet his daughter. He wanted to ask Serena to marry him so that they could become the family he always wanted, but after seeing the documents she wanted him to sign, his plans went right out the window. He couldn't believe that Serena had actually believed that he would sign papers to dissolve his parental rights and he couldn't believe that she had kept something this big from him all this time.   
  
"I'm sorry, Sere. I love you but I can't forgive you. Not for this," he said, before succumbing to his sleep.  
  
*************************  
  
Serena sat as far away from Darien as she could, which wasn't far considering they were on his private jet flying 30,000 feet from the ground. If she could have her way, she would be sitting on the wing of the plane, far away from Darien's withering gaze. Instead, she sat there on one of the leather couches in the beautifully crafted jet, with Isabella on her lap, pretending to ignore the hole that Darien was burning in her forehead. She wanted to tell Darien to stop staring at her, but that would only fuel the hostility he felt towards her. If she was to survive in his house for the next six months, it was important for her not to burn any more bridges with the Shields family.   
  
Serena sighed dejectedly as she watched her daughter sleeping in her arms. She envied the innocence and peace evident on her child's face. Serena prayed that her daughter would always have those qualities about her. Still feeling Darien's eyes on her, Serena leaned back on the couch, putting her legs up and shifting Isabella carefully in her right arm. She propped her left arm on the back of the sofa and looked out the window.   
  
"You know, I rode a plane for the first time when I was six years old," she told the sleeping Isabella softly. "We were going to visit my grandparents in British Columbia. That's on the other side of Canada, so it's very far away from where we lived. I told your Uncle Sammy that when we're high up in the air, I would open up the window and catch a cloud for him." She chuckled, remembering how wide her brother's eyes got when she made her innocent promise to him.   
  
"I was so disappointed when we were seated in the plane and the window wouldn't open, that I started to cry. My mommy and daddy couldn't figure out why I was crying but your Uncle Sammy did. He didn't get mad at me for not being able to keep my promise. He drew me a picture of a cloud and gave it to me. He told me that he didn't need me to catch a cloud for him to know that I could do anything because I was his big sister. You know what?" she whispered secretively in Isabella's ear. "I still have that picture. It's in my scrapbook and I have it with me wherever I go. When you get older, I'll start a scrapbook for your artwork."  
  
Darien listened to her story from the couch on across from her. It made him smile to think of Serena at six years old, promising to catch a cloud for her brother. Without thinking, he opened his mouth and asked, "Was that true?" He wanted to smack himself on the forehead the instant those words left his mouth.  
  
Serena looked at him with a frown. "Of course it is," she snapped, "I would never lie to my child."  
  
"Just her father, right?"  
  
"I did what I thought was best at the time. I wouldn't change a thing." Serena turned away from him then, ending further conversation. They remained in their respective corners until the pilot announced that they would be touching down in fifteen minutes. Isabella woke up at the sudden noise and started crying, pawing at her left ear.   
  
"What's wrong?" asked Darien, sitting down beside Serena and stroking the baby's back comfortingly.  
  
"I think her ears are popping," explained Serena.  
  
"What should we do?" Darien's heart went out to her, with her blue eyes welling up with tears. Isabella sobbed pitifully on her mother's shoulder, her chest heaving as she took big, gulping breaths.   
  
Serena thought for a minute before producing a pacifier from her pocket. "It's the best we can do. If she were older, I would give her a piece of gum or tell her to swallow, but right now, she won't be able to understand that. Let's hope she starts sucking on this so the popping will be reduced." To her relief, the pacifier lived up to its name by not only calming Isabella down but also by relieving the discomfort.   
  
The landing was smooth and perfect, nothing less than one would have expected from a pilot hired by Darien Shields. Unbuckling their seatbelts, Serena gathered Isabella's diaper bag and her purse while Darien carried his suitcase in one hand and Serena's duffel bag filled with some of her belongings over his shoulder. The rest of her baggage was stowed in the back of the plane, where the porters who had been waiting on the ground would find it easily. After thanking the pilots, Serena, Darien and Isabella walked down the stairway and onto the tarmac. A limousine was waiting a few feet from the plane, and Serena was happy to see Alan stepping out and opening the door for her.   
  
"Welcome back, Serena. You didn't keep your promise to keep in touch," he teased lightly.  
  
Serena smiled and kissed Isabella on the forehead. "I was busy," she replied. She was surprised to see a car seat already strapped in to the seats. "You thought of everything," she said to Darien.  
  
"Somebody has to," he replied icily. Serena bit the inside of her cheek to keep herself from saying just what was on her mind.   
  
'What a pompous ass,' she thought bitterly, securing Isabella in her seat. 'He's going to hold this over me for the rest of my life, from the looks of it. You'd think he missed his chance to be father of the year or something. I wonder what I ever saw in him.' She sat down beside the window and looked out the window the entire ride to his house. Once again, she could feel him looking at her and she was getting sick of it.  
  
"What?" she snapped. "What are you looking at?"  
  
"Nothing."  
  
"Then why do you keep looking at me?" Darien smirked.  
  
"Like I said, I was looking at nothing." Grasping the meaning of his words, Serena turned her head and continued to look out the window, her lip quivering.  
  
'Don't let him see you cry.' That had become her new mantra over the past few months and she found that it actually worked to strengthen her resolve to be stronger. As the streets became more familiar, and the houses more majestic, Serena's stomach knotted more and more. 'What does Candace and Mr. Shields have in store for me?' she wondered silently, clasping her hands together to stop their shaking. Much too soon for her liking, Alan pulled the limo into the Shields driveway and stopped the car.   
  
Darien got out first, helping Alan unload the luggage from the trunk. Serena took a deep breath, and then proceeded to carefully remove Isabella from her car seat. As she stepped out of the car, she felt Alan's presence close to her.  
  
"Good luck," he whispered in her ear. Luckily, Darien hadn't noticed, as he was busy lugging the suitcases to the door. She gave him a quick smile and steeled herself for the long walk to the front door. Just as she reached the top step, the double doors were thrown open and Walter and Candace were standing in the doorway, wearing grim expressions on their faces.  
  
Serena swallowed and licked her suddenly dry lips. Walter stepped forward and smiled encouragingly, making her feel more at ease. "Is this my granddaughter?" he asked softly, already running his fingers through her thick, black hair. She chose that moment to wake up, blinking her eyes sleepily at her grandfather. "She's beautiful, girlie. May I?"   
  
Serena nodded and passed her on to Walter, who held her tenderly to his chest. He looked years younger, his wrinkles smoothing out and his posture straighter. "Come in, you two. Don't just stand there like common door-to-door salesmen." Walter led them into the house, with Candace bringing up the rear. Serena was nervously waiting for Candace to say something-anything-that would reassure her that there were no hard feelings between them, as Walter had done.  
  
"So, what is my granddaughter's name, Serena?" Candace asked. By her icy tone, Serena felt her hopes dashed.  
  
"Her name is Isabella Mathis, Mrs. Shields," she answered with a slight tilt in her chin that Candace didn't fail to notice. Walking over to Walter, she looked at the baby and stroked her cheek softly.  
  
"She certainly is beautiful, I'll give you that. I just never imagined that I would be seeing my first grandchild six months after she was born." The tension in the air was almost palpable and Serena felt the walls closing in on her. If Darien didn't kill her first, she was certain his mother would gladly do the honours.   
  
Thankfully, it was time for Serena to feed Isabella so she timidly asked where the nursery was. Candace told her that it was right across the hall from Darien's room, which would be adjoining hers. Molly led her to her new room, no longer the yellow room that she had stayed in a year ago, but a plain beige room with simple décor and lacking the luxury she had been used to. Not that she cared one way or another. She was just here for her baby and nothing else. Serena knew that Candace was just throwing her weight around, sending her a message that she didn't appreciate being left out of the loop.   
  
"So how have you been, Molly?" Serena asked as she set her things down.  
  
"I've been okay." Serena noticed that Molly avoided looking her in the eye. "I've got to go now," she said, beating a hasty retreat out the door.   
  
Serena sighed mournfully. So that was how it was going to be from now on. She was going to be the outcast in this house, even among its staff. Although she hated to admit it, the thought of everyone in this massive house being against her, stung her. She noticed a door opposite her bed and opened it, revealing a beautiful nursery.  
  
Serena gasped and entered the pink room decorated with stars and crescent moons. She sat down on the rocking chair and unbuttoned her blouse. As if knowing exactly what was about to happen, Isabella turned to her mother with her mouth already open. "Hungry little girl, aren't you?"  
  
A few minutes later, she heard a soft knock on the door leading to the hallway. "Serena, can I come in?" Darien's disembodied voice asked.  
  
"Just a sec," she called. She stood up, grabbed a soft, knitted blanket and threw it loosely over Isabella, hiding her exposed breast. She sat back down on the rocking chair and settled herself comfortably before saying that it was okay to come in. Darien opened the door and saw that the delay was due to Serena covering herself up.  
  
"Why bother," he asked, gesturing to the blanket, "I've already seen it."  
  
"It doesn't count if you don't remember," she snapped, glaring at him. "Look, if my entire stay is going to consist of you going all psycho-judgmental on me, you might as well call your lawyers, cuz I'm not going to stay here to become your human punching bag. I won't take it."  
  
"_You're_ not going to take it? What about me? I had no choice _but_ to take what you did to me, so don't sit here whining about the lack of welcome you got from me and my mother. It's a miracle you managed to escape unscathed from dad, but then again, you two were always pretty chummy with each other," Darien bit out harshly. Isabella started crying from under the blanket, and although Serena was angry that Darien's loud voice made her cry, deep down, she was extremely thankful.  
  
"Are you happy now, Darien? Please get out so that I can finish feeding my daughter." Darien's face tightened in anger and for a second, Serena was actually afraid of him.  
  
"_Our_ daughter," he corrected, walking out the door and shutting it behind him forcefully. The walls shook and Isabella cried harder. Only when he was gone did Serena allow herself the luxury of shedding a few tears.  
  
After calming herself down, she lifted the blanket from her shoulder and revealed Isabella's red face scrunched up angrily. She kissed away her tears and resumed feeding her. "It's okay," she sang to the tune of a familiar lullaby, "mommy's here. She won't let them hurt you. Drink your milk, dry your tears, I'll be here to chase away your fears. Close your eyes, and goodnight, da da da da, da da dum..." She carefully lay Isabella down in her crib and kissed her shut eyelids gently. Then she tiptoed out of the room and into her own.  
  
When she compared the nursery to her now simple room, it was obvious that Candace had the power to do a quick renovation, it's just that she didn't deem her worthy enough to bother. She shrugged to herself, making a silent vow not to let Darien and his mother get to her. After all, they were justified in their anger towards her, to a certain extent. She admitted that maybe it was wrong not to tell Darien that he was a father, but as necessity dictated action, she felt justified in her own right to keep this secret from her millionaire father who probably had the power to evict Satan himself from hell if he wanted to.   
  
She stayed in her room all afternoon, unpacking her things. She could hear Darien playing with Isabella, who had woken up after a few hours of blissful sleep, over the baby monitor. She had to grudgingly admit that Darien made a wonderful father, one who was willing to pull all the stops to make sure his child was happy. Serena just hoped that she would be able to survive the Shields mother and son team's collective onslaught, because from the looks of things, she wouldn't be able to last longer than a month.  
  
She sat down on the padded window seat and looked out the bay window to the driveway below. Unlike her old room, where she was afforded a lovely view of the rose garden via the balcony, she had to make do with a window that barely opened and a view of the street from a distance. The phone rang suddenly, shaking Serena out of her reverie.  
  
"Hello?" she asked when she lifted the phone off the cradle.  
  
"Serena? It's me, Lita. Mrs. Shields told me to call you down for dinner." Lita didn't tell her that Candace had actually said, "Call that Mathis girl down for dinner, Lita, and tell her to bring my grandchild with her." She had a feeling that Serena didn't need to hear that right about now.  
  
"Thanks Lita," Serena replied softly. "How are you?"  
  
"I'm fine, Serena," she answered warmly. Seeing Candace walk into the room, Lita cleared her throat. "Mrs. Shields wants to make sure that you bring little Isabella down," she said, the friendly tone gone from her voice.  
  
Serena bit her lip and wiped away the stray tear that had found its way down her cheek. 'Even Lita,' she thought sadly. "Tell her I wouldn't think of leaving my child alone in her room while I'm downstairs eating," she replied, before hanging up the phone.  
  
Downstairs, Lita stared at the phone in her hand and sighed. She hadn't wanted to make Serena think that she had turned on her too, but she _was_ being employed by the Shields family. Before Serena and Darien had arrived from the airport, she and her fellow poker buddies had agreed to gauge Mrs. Shields' reaction before making any moves towards Serena. If she was being hostile, then they would too, but to a lesser degree. Likewise if she was in the forgive-and-forget mode. Lita had been hoping for the latter reaction, but unfortunately for her and especially for Serena, had gotten the former. 'I'm sorry Serena,' she thought. 'But we have to do what we have to do. I'm sure you understand.'  
  
"Well? What did she say?" demanded Candace.  
  
"She said that she would be down soon and that she would be happy to bring down the baby too," Lita replied dutifully, rapidly editing Serena's comment. Candace nodded her head curtly and left without another word.  
  
***************************  
  
Dinner was silent as each person feasted on the steaks and mashed potatoes that Lita had prepared a short while ago. Walter was gazing thoughtfully at the people sitting at the table, lost in their own thoughts. Darien was looking longingly at his daughter and would sneak a few glances at Serena when he thought no one was looking. It was evident that he still loved her, but pride and anger prevented him from admitting it to himself. Candace was casting withering glances at Serena as she cut into her meat rather fiercely, giving Walter the impression that she was envisioning her on that plate instead of the New York strip sirloin, grilled to perfection. Serena never lifted her eyes off her plate, although he could see that she was growing more agitated with every bite. He couldn't blame her for being on pins and needles. His wife and son could be very formidable when crossed the wrong way, as he was.  
  
Try as he might, Walter just couldn't bring himself to behave like Darien and Candace towards the girl who had set him on the road to recovery. Apart from their friendship, Walter felt he at least owed her the gratitude she deserved for seeing something in him that his other physical therapists had failed to see: his value for his independence. Serena had shown him that it was okay to ask for help without feeling like he was imposing, boosting his self-esteem when he was able to perform the simplest tasks. The other physical therapists treated him like an invalid, like it was a chore to help him out, prompting him to act the way he did.  
  
"I will never forgive you for not telling us about Isabella." Walter whipped his head up and saw Candace glaring at Serena.  
  
All activity at the table stopped as Serena slowly put her fork down and lift her head, meeting Candace's fiery eyes. She stiffened her back and lifted her head proudly. "I don't recall asking for forgiveness, Mrs. Shields," she replied steadily, putting as much ice in her voice as she could, considering that she was trembling. Walter was almost proud of her for standing her ground.  
  
Candace's glower deepened as she stared at the young rebel sitting in front of her. "If you think acting like this is going to get you more of Darien's money, you are sadly mistaken. I'm just sorry I didn't see you for the money-grubbing whore that you are when you first came here." If anything Candace said affected Serena, she hid it well. Walter was shocked at his wife's behaviour. But before he could say anything, Serena had wiped her mouth daintily with her napkin and pushed her chair back.  
  
They watched as she reached into her pocket and dug out a hundred dollar bill. She threw it on the table and proceeded to lift Isabella out of her high chair. "Thanks for the meal, Mr. and Mrs. Shields, we should do this again sometime. If you'll excuse me, I think I'll go upstairs to my room now; wouldn't want to mar this lovely atmosphere with my whorish ways."  
  
Walter waited until she was gone before he turned to Candace angrily. "That was uncalled for, Candace, and you know it. The important thing is that our granddaughter is here and that we can get to know her now. This hostility is going to get the both of you nowhere, and it's harming the child. I've always thought that you were above that kind of behaviour, Candace," he shook his head sadly, "I guess everyone makes mistakes sometimes, huh?"  
  
He stood up and picked up the money lying on the table. Darien and Candace watched him trudge out of the dining room and listened to him climbing the stairs, presumably on his way to Serena's room. Darien had to admit that his mother had been a little harsh in her treatment of Serena, but at the same time, he couldn't blame her. She had been denied her first grandchild for the first six months of her life, six months of the most crucial stage of her development that she could never get back. He was surprised that his father was still on Serena's side, and he had to admit, he felt a little jealous.   
  
'Why can't he understand where mom and I are coming from?' he wondered, as he and Candace continued their meal in silence.  
  
Upstairs, Walter found Serena in the nursery, holding Isabella and rocking her gently. He knocked on the door lightly, getting Serena's attention. "Yes, Mr. Shields?" she asked quietly.  
  
He walked up to them and stood beside the chair, watching Isabella's eyes closing as she fell closer to sleep. He handed her back her money, which she took reluctantly. "That was quite an exit you made there, girlie."  
  
"If you're going to get on my case too, I suggest you leave because I've had my fair share of reprimands and insults in the last twenty-four hours to last me a lifetime," she said defensively. She was surprised to feel Walter's comforting hand stroking the top of her head.  
  
"I'm not here to give you grief, girlie. I just came up here to ask that you be patient with my wife and son. I know that it's going to be hard living here with everyone against you, but just know that I'm in your corner and I won't let anything happen to you or your daughter," he replied gently.  
  
"Why?"   
  
"Why what?" Walter could see her eyes clouding up with confusing as she tried to decipher his motives for being nice to her.  
  
"Why are you willing to go up against your wife and your son to support the woman who took your only grandchild away from you?" she asked.  
  
"Living in a house filled with anger isn't good for the baby. Besides, I know you had your reasons for leaving the way you did and you're just not ready to share them. Don't forget, I know you. I can tell when you're trying to keep something from me and from Darien so it's no use denying it. I'm sure you'll tell us the real reason you left when you're ready." Serena smiled gratefully at the old man she had come to regard as a second father.  
  
"Thanks Mr. Shields." Walter grinned.  
  
"Surely the woman who gave me my first grandchild is entitled to call me by my first name," he said lightly, causing Serena to blush.  
  
"Can I call you Walter when it's just you and me? I don't want to anger Darien and Mrs. Shields any more than I already have." Walter nodded.  
  
"It's probably for the best. I can't imagine that they're too happy with me at the moment." He walked to the door and was turning the knob when he heard Serena's soft voice.  
  
"Thanks for everything...Walter."  
  
*************************  
  
The next day, Serena woke up early and took a shower after checking to make sure that Isabella was still asleep. She hurriedly wrote out a cheque and walked out of her room confidently with it in her hand. Running into Molly, she asked her where Candace was, and was told that she was in the family room before scurrying away.  
  
She found Candace playing the piano alone in the family room, just as Molly had said. She cleared her throat and instantly, Candace's fingers stopped playing. "What can I do for you, Serena?" she asked, not bothering to turn around.  
  
Wordlessly, Serena walked over to the piano and faced Candace, her expression unreadable. She thrust the cheque out and Candace reached for it tentatively. "It's rent."  
  
"This is twelve hundred dollars. It's too much for just one room."  
  
"Nevertheless, that is how much I will pay every month that I'm living under your roof. You can tell Molly and the girls that they don't have to clean my room because I will be happy to do it myself. As for meals, I will prepare my own and eat it in the privacy of my own room. Don't worry; I'll buy the food but I'm afraid that I'm going to have to store it in your refrigerator," she explained with a coldness in her voice that she wasn't used to addressing Candace with.  
  
"If that is what you want." Still, Candace made no move to look at her.  
  
Serena nodded and turned away. "If you'll excuse me, I'm just going upstairs to tell Darien that I'll be going out for breakfast and to watch Isabella until I return." She ran out the room before Candace could say anything more.  
  
Candace sighed and thought back to Walter's words. In truth, she felt terrible for calling Serena a whore and instantly regretted them the instant they left her mouth. But pride prevented her from apologizing to Serena. The least she was willing to do was to be civil to the girl and if she wanted to pay rent, then who was she to refuse? 'Just because I took the cheque, doesn't mean I'll cash it,' she thought, tearing up the cheque in half and throwing it away.  
  
Serena knocked on Darien's bedroom door, trying to block out the memories that she had of the last time she was in it. 'He called this our room. How foolish I was to actually believe it.' She had been standing there for a while, staring blankly into space, and didn't notice the door opening in front of her, revealing a rumpled looking Darien.  
  
"Serena? What do you want?" he asked, rubbing the sleep out of his eyes. Serena jumped and cursed herself for letting her eyes rove over his shirtless, pajama-pant covered body.   
  
"I just wanted to tell you that I'm going out for breakfast and I'm leaving Isabella in your care for a while," she announced.  
  
"You're not having breakfast with us? Why?" Serena raised her eyebrow and smirked.  
  
"Why don't you ask your mother? I'm sure she'll have more than a few words to say about our little arrangement. Well, I'm feeling hungry so I think I'll be going; it's a long walk to the nearest donut shop." Darien watched as she flipped her hair over her shoulder and turn away.  
  
"Hey, you cut your hair." Serena stopped walking and looked back at him, touching her now shoulder-length hair.  
  
"Yeah, it kept getting in Isabella's face every time I held her. Small sacrifice, really." Darien couldn't help but feel guilty at the carefree tone of her voice because he knew she must still be hurting after his mother tore into her last night at the dinner table.  
  
"Do you want to borrow my car?" he asked as a way of extending the olive branch.  
  
"No thanks. Wouldn't want to be accused of mooching off of the Shields estate and taking advantage of my situation." That being said, she turned away from him and walked down the stairs confidently, never once faltering in her steps or looking back to see if he was still watching her.   
  
But she knew he was, and she laughed in her heart at when she saw his reflection in the hall mirror, standing at his door with his mouth hanging open.  
  
****************************  
  
The next few weeks were filled with less tension than her first week back, but that isn't to say that Darien and Candace had forgiven her, or that she was being treated better than a second-class citizen by practically all of the staff. The only ones who seemed to take pity on her were Walter, Alan and surprisingly enough, Melvin.   
  
Darien had taken a week off when he first brought them back from Canada to spend time getting to know his daughter. Now, almost six weeks later, Isabella had grown to love her father and his parents just as much as she loved her mother and her family back in Canada. She called Sammy and Celeste every week on her cell phone and made Isabella listen to their voices so she wouldn't forget them, which wasn't going to happen because every time Sammy got on the line, she would clap her hands excitedly and squeal happily.  
  
One day, a few days after she had settled in Darien's house, she and Darien got into an argument about a petty thing regarding Isabella's body temperature, which Darien thought to be too hot and Serena thought to be just fine, and Darien ended up calling her a bad mother. She shook her head disbelievingly and ran to her room, locking the door behind her. She called her house from her cell phone, refusing to use the phone in her room unless it was to call someone in the house, which was a rare occurrence since there was nobody, apart from Walter, Melvin and Alan, she wanted to talk to.  
  
"Hello?"  
  
"Hi Sammy, it's me." She couldn't keep her voice from wavering and she prayed that her brother didn't notice.  
  
"What wrong, Sere? You sound like you're crying. Did _he_ do something to hurt you?" he asked menacingly.   
  
"No, no. I just really missed hearing your voice that's all."  
  
"You're sure?" Sammy's voice told her that he was doubtful of her explanation.  
  
"Yeah, in fact, everyone's been so nice to me since I've come back. Mr. and Mrs. Shields have welcomed me back with open arms and have treated me with so much kindness." She hated lying to her brother but she didn't want him to worry about her. "Can I speak to Aunt Celeste?"  
  
She could hear Sammy putting his hand over the receiver, muffling his words as he called for Celeste. "Hey, Sere. How are you?"   
  
"I'm fine, Aunt Celeste. I'm just calling to check in."  
  
They exchanged small talk for a few minutes before Celeste suddenly remembered something. "Guess what, Serena. Robert asked me to marry him and I accepted!" Both women squealed with joy and began discussing plans for the wedding. "You'll be my maid of honour, of course, but we still have to set a date for the wedding."  
  
"Oh Aunt Celeste, I'm so happy for you. See? Now you're getting married! I told you the right guy is going to come along any minute and you just had to be patient." Suddenly, Serena heard Isabella crying over the baby monitor. "I've got to go, Aunt Celeste. My little princess just summoned me."  
  
Ever since that day, Serena and Darien never talked about their argument. In fact, they never talked at all. The only times they ever spoke to each other was when it was regarding Isabella, or when it was absolutely necessary. Finally, the stress began to work its way to Serena's heart and she began losing weight and growing pale. It was just like the time Jake first started molesting her. She figured it was time to see Dr. Eisner again before she lost it completely.  
  
"Hello, may I please speak to Dr. Eisner?" she asked Janice.  
  
"Sure, dear."  
  
"Dr. Eisner speaking."  
  
"Hi, Dr. Eisner. It's me, Serena Mathis. I was wondering if I could start seeing you again once a week like before," she began.  
  
Andrew chewed his bottom lip thoughtfully. 'This is a conflict of interest. She can't be my patient while Darien is my friend,' he thought. "I'm sorry, Serena, but I've got a full load right now and I won't be able to take in any more patients. However, I'll be happy to refer you to another therapist."  
  
"That's okay. Thanks anyway, Dr. Eisner." Serena hung up before he could say another word.   
  
Dr. Eisner had been her last hope of having someone to talk to who was in a neutral corner. She tucked her cell phone back in her purse and walked out the front door past Melvin, brushing tears away from her face. She ran to the side of the house until she got to the tree she hid behind when she was spying on Darien and the woman he slept with the day after she moved in. She wept bitterly into her hands, her sobs wracking her whole body. She started when she felt a hand touch her shoulder and looked up to see Melvin, concern marring his features.  
  
"Sere, what's wrong?" he asked worriedly.  
  
"Aren't you afraid of being seen with me? I am, after all, the lowest member of the caste system, according to Mrs. Shields and her son. You should get out of here before you get in trouble for talking to me," she replied angrily.  
  
"Mrs. Shields may employ me, but she doesn't dictate who my friends are. Now why don't you tell me what's bothering you?" he asked gently, sitting down beside her.  
  
Like a dam had broken in her heart, Serena found herself pouring out her troubles to Melvin until she couldn't speak anymore. She was grateful to Melvin for not interrupting her, waiting until the end before he chipped in his two cents.  
  
"There now, don't you feel better?" he asked. Serena nodded her head and he took it as a sign for him to continue. "I don't know what to tell you, other than to continue doing what you've been doing so far. They'll come around eventually. May I ask you a question?"  
  
"Sure."  
  
"Why did you name her Isabella? Is that a relative of yours or something?" he asked, hoping to get her mind away from her dilemma.  
  
Serena smiled the first true smile since she was forced to come there. "No, I don't even know any Isabellas. It's actually kinda corny but I made it up late at night when I was still pregnant and I felt her kicking me non-stop. I started writing a poem describing everything that my daughter meant to me and I just formed her name from all the adjectives I used."  
  
"What were they?" Melvin asked.  
  
"I wrote that she was my inspiration, my strength, my angel. She would be beautiful, my everything, my love, my life, always. Corny, isn't it?" Melvin smiled and shook his head.  
  
"I think it's beautiful. Her name is an acronym of everything she is." Serena beamed, happy to share her private thoughts with somebody who understood. 'I used to think that was Darien.'  
  
"I've never told anybody that before," she confided. "Everyone assumes I just got her name from a baby book." The two friends rose from their spots and dusted themselves off before going back to the house, Serena to her room, and Melvin to his duties.  
  
From behind another tree, Darien stepped out with a sleeping baby in his arms. He had been out for a walk when he came upon Serena and Melvin sitting under the tree, talking. He was too far away to hear what Serena was telling him, but from her tears, he deduced that she was telling him her sob story. When he got closer, he heard Melvin ask the origin of Isabella's name, something he had often wondered himself. He felt an insane rush of jealousy when he heard her tell him that she had never told anybody the significance of his daughter's name before. He looked down at his daughter's sleeping face. 'She's right. Isabella is all those things and more.'  
  
********************************  
  
Before Serena knew it, Christmas was just one week away and still Darien and his mother treated her like a squatter in their house. Finally, she decided to pull Darien aside one day to have a little talk with him.  
  
"What is this about, Serena?" Darien asked irritably.  
  
"Well, Christmas is coming so I was wondering if we could hold a truce just until the holidays are over. For Isabella's sake," she added, not mentioning that it would be for hers as well.  
  
"Fine. Is that all?" he asked over politely. Serena nodded her head and he left the room.  
  
Two days before Christmas, Candace told them that it was time to take the family Christmas photo. She had a professional photographer set up his equipment in the family room, facing the couch where the photo was to be taken. "Okay, now. Time for the family to sit down," she announced.  
  
Serena stepped forward to fix Isabella's dress when Candace stretched out an arm to stop her. "I _said_ family, and the last time I checked, you aren't part of it." Darien felt pity for Serena, who was still on the receiving end of his mother's barbs, and moved to defend her. 'Mom has gone too far this time.'  
  
"Believe me, from what I've seen, I wouldn't want to be a part of this family," she snapped. "I was just fixing my daughter's dress but since you like to be in control of everything around you, I'll just let you do it yourself. Darien, when you're done with this photo shoot for the 'Perfect Family' poster, could you kindly bring Isabella up to the nursery and put her down for a nap? I'll be over at Amy's to deliver their gifts."  
  
When Serena was gone, the photographer awkwardly cleared his throat and shyly asked them to sit down on the couch. Candace was in the middle holding the baby, with Darien standing behind her and Walter sitting beside her. The poor photographer wanted to ask them to smile, but upon hearing Darien's growl of "just get on with it!" thought it wise to just take the picture and leave. 'The girl was right. Who would want to be part of this family?' he thought privately.  
  
***************************  
  
Serena wearily trudged up the stairs, recalling the farce that they all put on that morning when they were opening their gifts. They all sat around awkwardly around the tree, passing out gifts and pretending to be interested in what was happening around them. Serena took pictures of Isabella with her father and grandparents, documenting her first Christmas in every detail.   
  
She didn't know what to get them, or if she should at all, but good manners dictated she should at least buy her hosts something for the holiday, so she opted to buy them gifts on behalf of her daughter. For Darien, she bought a pair of leather gloves that he could use when he was working with the horses. She bought a silver broach of two baby feet for Candace and a "Number 1 Grandpa" t-shirt for Walter, which he proudly wore for the rest of the day. She signed their cards under Isabella's name.  
  
She hadn't been expecting anything from them and wasn't surprised by what she received. Darien had given her a hundred dollar gift certificate to JC Penny and Candace had given her a subscription to a parenting magazine, leading her to wonder if this was a commentary on her parenting skills. Walter had given her an antique gold locket with Isabella's picture inside.   
  
She was on her way to her room to call her family when she heard Melvin call her from the bottom of the stairs. She ran back down and greeted him with a friendly hug. He shyly thrust a small package wrapped in gold paper and tied with a red bow. Serena eagerly tore into the gift to reveal a snow globe with a mother holding her baby inside.   
  
"You told me that you would miss the snow during Christmas so I got you the next best thing," he said. Serena felt tears in her eyes as she thanked him for the wonderful gift.   
  
"I can't believe you remembered." She took out a small package from her pocket and gave it to Melvin. His eyes lit up when he saw the pocket watch she had given him. "Just like Sherlock Holmes, your hero," she said, her eyes twinkling. "Now get out of here so you can spend the day with your family."  
  
She watched as he waved goodbye from his car, then turned to go to her room, bumping into someone directly behind her. "Darien," she said, "what are you doing standing so close to me?"  
  
"Who gave you that?" he asked, ignoring her question and pointing to the snow globe.   
  
"Melvin did. It's one of the best presents I've ever gotten," she replied, letting her guard down in light of their truce, which was rapidly coming to an end.  
  
Darien once again felt that rush of jealousy boiling in his veins at the mention of Melvin's name. "Oh? Are you planning on seducing him too, like you did me?" he asked nastily. He watched Serena's face turn from shock to sorrow to anger within a span of five seconds.  
  
Then, without warning, she reached up and slapped him hard across the face. Darien looked at her, standing defiantly in front of him, holding her snow globe protectively in one hand. As if he was watching everything happening in slow motion, he saw his hand jerk out and knock the snow globe out of her grasp, sending it crashing to the floor in an explosion of glass and water.  
  
Serena backed away from him, afraid for herself and for him. "You're a monster," she whispered, unable to control the trembling in her voice. "I can't believe you were the man I thought I..." she bit her tongue to stop herself from saying 'loved.' She took a deep breath, trying to calm her nerves. "I can't believe you were the man I thought I knew." Pushing past him, she ran up the stairs and locked herself in her room, crying herself to sleep.  
  
****************************  
  
Serena was awakened by Isabella's crying. She groggily rolled over in her bed and noted that she was still wearing the same clothes she had on that day. 'Two a.m.' she thought as she hurriedly opened the door to Isabella's room to see what the fuss was about.   
  
Upon seeing her, Isabella immediately stopped crying and raised her arms up, wanting to be held. Despite her fatigue, Serena found herself feeling refreshed and happy. "You just wanted some company, eh little one?" she asked softly as she lifted her out of the crib and into her arms. She took her to the rocking chair and sat down. "I guess we're both lonely, you and I. Don't worry, sweetie. As long as I'm here, you don't ever have to be afraid of being alone."  
  
Isabella burrowed her face into her mother's shoulder and looked at her entreatingly. "All right, honey. I'll sing it for you again," Serena said, recognizing that look in her daughter's face immediately.  
  
"Sleep, my child, and peace attend thee,  
  
All through the night;  
  
Guardian angels God will send thee,  
  
All through the night;  
  
Soft the drowsy hours are creeping,  
  
Hill and vale in slumber sleeping,  
  
I my loving vigil keeping,  
  
All through the night.  
  
"While the moon her watch is keeping,  
  
All through the night;  
  
While the weary world is sleeping,   
  
All through the night;  
  
O'er thy spirit gently stealing,  
  
Visions of delight revealing,  
  
Breathes a pure and holy feeling,  
  
All through the night.  
  
"Sleep, my child, and peace attend thee,   
  
All through the night;  
  
Guardian angels God will send thee,  
  
All through the night;  
  
Soft the drowsy hours are creeping,  
  
Hill and vale in slumber sleeping,  
  
I my loving vigil keeping,  
  
All through the night."  
  
She watched as Isabella drifted off to sleep during her song and snuggled her closer to her chest. "I know this must be very confusing for you, honey," Serena said quietly when she was sure Isabella had fallen asleep. "It's confusing for me too. I grew up with a mommy and daddy who loved each other very much. I just want you to know that even though you will see your friends living in that kind of family, with a mommy and daddy who love each other, that doesn't mean your family is wrong or bad. Every family is different. Just because your daddy doesn't love your mommy, doesn't mean he loves you any less. I want you to remember that. Your daddy loves you very much and so do I and your grandparents."  
  
Isabella stirred in her arms and Serena stopped talking in fear that she woke up, but she just batted her fist in the air before falling asleep again. "I loved him once, you know," she confided in her sleeping baby. "But now we're just too different and too hurt to forgive each other. I have to admit that it hurts me when I see your father being so hostile to me because I know I made him that way. I turned the man I loved into a man that I can't stand to be around because I wanted to punish him for hurting me the way he did a year ago." She laughed resentfully. "I guess the shoe's on the other foot now, huh?" Getting no response from Isabella, not that she was expecting one, she began to hum the song again, until she fell asleep with Isabella safely tucked in her arms.  
  
In his room, Darien turned over and stared at the baby monitor on his nightstand. He had woken up when Isabella started crying and was about to get up to comfort her, when he heard Serena's voice in the room. He hadn't seen her since their violent encounter by the front door, and he had been waiting all day for her to come out so he could apologize. When night rolled around and still she hadn't opened her door, he declared it a lost cause and went into his room for the night.  
  
His heart twisted when he heard Serena reassuring his daughter that he loved her no matter what happened between them. He hadn't meant to shatter the snow globe but he had been so frustrated with their situation that it felt satisfying to just reach out and break something. Unfortunately, that something happened to be her snow globe. The frightened look in her eyes brought him back to reality, but before he could apologize for what he did, she was already halfway up the stairs, running away once again.  
  
Running away from him.  
  
She had called him a monster and she was right. The way he had been treating her since she came back put him to shame when he reflected back on it that afternoon. He always started all the arguments and insults, leading to anger and resentment from her. Never once had she been the one to instigate an argument; in fact, she was the one who forced him to call a truce for the sake of their daughter. He had no doubt it was also for her sake, but still.   
  
He had agonized over what he should get for her when it suddenly occurred to him that she probably wouldn't get him anything, anyway. Not that he blamed her. So he got her a gift that was meant to say, "See, I didn't forget you, but I didn't spend too much time thinking about you either." He was shocked when he not only got a gift from Serena, but that it was the gloves he had wanted to order but never had the time. Then his mother gave her the subscription to 'Today's Parenting.' He wanted to die. Surely she would have blown up about that, but no. She accepted the gift graciously and handed Candace a gift of her own. It never ceased to amaze him how forgiving she could be.  
  
When he heard Serena admit that she loved him before, his heart skipped a beat. 'It's not too late!' he thought. 'I can win her back.' Then he heard her blame herself for making him turn out that way and his heart broke for her. 'No, Serena. I made myself this way. I wouldn't listen to your reasons for leaving and instead of trying to unite us as a family, I pushed you away until you had nowhere else to turn to, not even the staff. How could I let it get this way?'  
  
He rolled over and punched the pillow, imagining it was himself that he was hitting. 'How could I hurt the one person I've ever loved like that? I don't deserve to have her be the mother of my child. I promise to apologize to you tomorrow, Sere. I just hope it's not too late.'  
  
"Tomorrow," he said determinedly before falling asleep, dreaming of Serena and his daughter, the family he'd always wanted.  
  
*******************************************************  
  
Once again, Happy Birthday Mel! Sorry it's a little late! July 5, 2002. 


	14. The Last Straw

Wounded Souls  
  
Chapter 13-The Last Straw  
  
By: ~crystal~rose~{@  
  
************************************  
  
**December 28, 2003**  
  
Amy sat waiting patiently for Serena at their reserved table in Luigi's Bistro. This was one of her favourite restaurants and she couldn't understand why Serena was so averse to coming here since it boasted the highest quality Italian food for the most reasonable price-reasonable for LA standards, that is. The more practical side of Amy winced at the price Luigi's was charging for a plate of spaghetti and meatballs and thought back to the days when she could barely afford to buy a can of Chef Boyardee's Beefaroni.   
  
'Boy, times sure have changed,' thought Amy, recalling her university days when she and her roommates would squabble over who got the last bit of macaroni and cheese, before watering it down and splitting it between the three of them. 'Now I'm willing to pay almost twenty dollars for a plate of spaghetti. Back in those days, twenty dollars was our grocery budget for three days.'  
  
She glanced at her watch for the third time in ten minutes. 'I wonder what's keeping Serena. Does she hate this place so much that she'd stand me up at the last minute so she wouldn't have to come?' she wondered. Just as she was about to reach for her cell, Serena showed up at the table, led by Nemo, the maitre'd. She thanked the man, who politely held out her chair, and sat down unceremoniously in a huff.  
  
"Sorry for being late, Ames," she smiled beguilingly at her friend who was more than used to her tardiness, "Isabella wouldn't let me out the door. As soon as she saw me trying to sneak out, she started wailing in Walter's arms. It took us almost a half hour to make her stop crying." Knowing that Serena could use some time alone with a friend, especially after that disastrous Christmas day, he kindly volunteered to watch Isabella until she got back.   
  
"Would you go already, girlie? My little Ella and I have some playing to do, don't we, sweetheart?" Serena had never seen Walter look so relaxed than when he was holding Isabella, or Ella, as he had taken to calling her, in his arms. She remembered looking back at her daughter's face, eyes quickly filling up with tears, and feeling her resolve to make a mad dash to the waiting taxi leave as soon as Isabella stretched out her arms, straining to catch her while crying earnestly. She was about to go back for another hug when she felt Walter pushing her out the door.  
  
"She'll be fine, girlie. Grandpa's here," he assured her, puffing out his chest proudly. Seeing her hesitate, Walter gave her another push out the door and practically shoved her into the backseat of the taxi. "Say hi to Amy for me. Wave bye to your mother, honey." Although Isabella wasn't pleased with this development, she waved obediently, if not grudgingly, to her mother and was rewarded with a hearty kiss on the cheek.  
  
"Thanks Walter, I really appreciate this. Bye sweet pea, be good for your grandpa." She blew her baby a kiss as the cab was heading down the driveway. Just as the cab reached the road, she thought she heard an ear-piercing wail emit from her distraught baby and her heart twisted painfully at the sound, making her almost tell the driver to stop the cab and turn back.  
  
"Serena? Serena?" The sound of Amy's voice brought her mind back to her body, which was-to her horror-sitting at the exact same table she and Darien occupied when they first dined here together. She looked up and saw Amy staring at her worriedly. She gave a nervous chuckle and absently noted that Amy was sitting in her old spot, while she was in Darien's.   
  
"Sorry again. I guess I was just thinking about Isabella and how much I miss her already." Amy nodded and smiled.  
  
"I envy you and Raye. You both have the most amazing little girls. Zach and I talked about having children before we got married, and we agreed that we'd put off having a family until we can afford to buy a house but at the rate we're going, that won't be for at least another year or so." Amy sighed wistfully. "But now...seeing you and Raye...I can't help but wish for a baby of my own."  
  
Serena smiled at her sympathetically. "Oh yeah? At least you and Raye have husbands! I can't even begin to tell you how hard it was being pregnant without the support I would have had if Darien were around. I know that I wanted it that way, but I was still unprepared for the challenges of being pregnant. I remember how sorry I felt for myself every time I would go to a doctor's appointment and seeing that I was the only one who didn't have a husband or a boyfriend with me. Sure, Aunt Celeste and Sammy, or sometimes even Raye would come with me, but it just wasn't the same. Let's not even talk about the Lamaze classes. I was the only one there who had an aunt as my coach instead of a significant other." Serena could recall how jealous she felt every time she looked at the other ladies in her classes and how she intentionally remained aloof from them so that her hurt wouldn't be further rubbed in her face.   
  
Amy wisely said nothing for she knew that Serena was right. Although her lack of a baby was sad, at least she had a husband who was more than willing to raise a family with her when the time was right. Serena, on the other hand, had a baby with a man who resents her for not telling him about it sooner. The waiter chose this moment to appear and take their orders, a pasta primavera for Amy, and chicken parmigiana for Serena.  
  
Amy studied her friend's face thoughtfully for a moment, trying to wonder what it was about Serena that seemed so different. Her face seemed more gaunt, and her hair didn't seem to have that normal lustre. "Serena, are you on a diet or something?" she asked.   
  
Serena was about to shake her head no, when she remembered that her drastic weight loss was due to stress and if she told Amy that, then she would be on the receiving end of an interrogation she did not want. "Um, yeah," she lied, "I'm still trying to lose the last of my pregnancy pounds."  
  
Amy didn't look too convinced. "But haven't you lost those pounds a long time ago? I think you've lost way more weight than is healthy for a person your size. What have you been doing?" she asked, concern written all over her face.  
  
"Oh, this and that," Serena replied flippantly. Seeing that Amy's face was unsatisfied with her rather vague answer, she rushed to remedy her situation before it got any worse. "Well, I've been taking Isabella out for morning jogs around the property and I've been watching what I eat. That's about all."  
  
"Well, I think you should stop losing weight. It's not healthy. You've lost more weight than you've gained during your pregnancy. It's great that you've been exercising with Isabella, but I think the dieting should go. You're going to need your strength if you plan on being an active parent. Eat healthy, not sparingly." Serena listened patiently, resisting the urge to roll her eyes like she always did whenever Amy slipped into 'doctor mode.'  
  
Amy continued to prattle on about the dos and don'ts of dieting for another ten minutes. Serena felt like she was back in her 8:30 am Epidemiology of Activity and Health class, listening to Professor Atkinson drone on about the importance of an active lifestyle coupled with a well-balanced diet. As she had done in Professor Atkinson's lectures, she found her mind wandering to more interesting topics such as what was on TV that night, or what she needed to add to her grocery list.  
  
"Serena? Are you even listening to me?" Amy's shrill voice cut through her daydream about the new dress she wanted to buy Isabella once the hospital back home sent her maternity leave paycheck in the mail. Serena blinked and saw Amy sitting in front of her, annoyance clearly written on her face.  
  
The waiter chose this moment to make his appearance, saving Serena from Amy's wrath and inadvertently securing a place in Serena's heart, with their lunches balanced precariously on a tray. "Here you go, ladies. Pasta primavera for you, and chicken parm for you. If you ladies need anything further, my name is Guido and I am at your service." Having charmed Serena and Amy sufficiently with his politeness and his dark, good looks, he respectfully bowed and left them to their meal.   
  
"You didn't answer my question, Serena. Were you even listening to me?" Serena mentally stuck her tongue out at Amy for jumping right back into the topic she thought Guido had unconsciously interrupted.  
  
"Oh, lighten up Ames. I've taken all the health classes before. You don't have to remind me about the dangers of over-dieting. It was the subject of my dissertation, remember?" she replied, still avoiding the question.  
  
"As I recall, you lost a lot of weight back then too, trying to write a hundred page paper in one week. Raye and I told you to start earlier but you kept putting it off till the last minute. You were lucky you finished." Serena rolled her eyes in annoyance.  
  
"Christ, would you lay off already?" Serena frowned defensively. "You act as though I'm on my way to anorexia country or something. I'm eating now, aren't I? You don't see me stuffing my food into my napkin when you're not looking, do you? No, you don't, so stop telling me what to do! God, can't a person lose weight without getting the third degree anymore?" She crossed her arms angrily over her chest and glared at Amy, who was shocked at her friend's outburst.   
  
"I'm sorry, Serena. It's just that I'm worried about you. I know that living with Darien and his family may not be the easiest thing in the world and I was wondering whether they had something to do with all this weight loss or not," Amy explained apologetically, hoping to calm her friend down.  
  
"I'm sorry for going off on you like that, Ames. But you don't have to worry about me. The Shields have been nothing but wonderful to me and especially Isabella. Candace and Walter treat me like I was one of their own and Darien and I have renewed something of our old friendship, for the sake of our daughter." Serena found that lying to her friends and especially to herself, was getting easier with each lie that she told. 'One could say I'm a pro,' she mused.  
  
But things weren't going as rosy as she had told Amy and the rest of her loved ones back in Canada, especially after that incident on Christmas. It's been three days of pure torture for Serena, who went around the Shields manor like a ghost: unwanted and unacknowledged. She had donated the gift certificate Darien had given her to a local charity and she had called the parenting magazine's office to change her address to that of a centre for teenage mothers. The locket Walter had given her was securely fastened around her neck at all times though, and she would find herself opening it up every once in a while to stare at her beautiful baby's picture inside.   
  
She hadn't spoken a word to Darien since Christmas day, although he's made a few pathetic attempts at talking to her. Thankfully, she knew his schedule, and was able to avoid him when he was home from work. She would wait until he left for work in the morning before stepping out of her room already dressed to make herself breakfast in the kitchen. Then she would spend the day with Isabella, just walking around the gardens, or taking her to the zoo and other baby-friendly places. Sometimes, like today, she would let either Walter or Candace take her for a few hours while she ran some errands in town. But as soon as five thirty rolled around, she would be in the kitchen, busily preparing her dinner so that she could eat in her room by the time Darien walked into the house at six. She hated eating at such an early hour, but it was worth it to be able to eat in peace without hearing Candace's sarcastic remarks or receiving Darien's murderous glares.  
  
She had noticed, however, that Darien was being nicer towards her on the very rare occasions that they did run into each other. This made her more suspicious, especially after spending half the night awake in her bed, trying to come up with a reason for Darien's suspicious behaviour and coming up with only one thing. He must have realized that his violent actions might have a detrimental effect on his case should they ever decide to take each other to court for the custody of their daughter, and was now trying to butter her up so that she would forget it ever happened. After coming to that conclusion, Serena resolved not to let herself be sucked back into any more 'truces' with Darien Shields, or anything else for that matter. She would continue serving out her sentence in his house for another four and a half months in solitary confinement if she had to. The truth was, Darien had scared her to death that day, and she tried everything humanly possible for them not to be alone in the same room together. She didn't want to end up dead because Darien couldn't hold back his hatred of her any longer. If he walked in a room, she walked out. It was that simple.  
  
"So how was Isabella's first Christmas?" Amy asked, not knowing the horrible events that had happened to Serena that day.  
  
"She loved it. Candace and Walter gave her a little necklace with a round crystal pendant the size of a golf ball. I hardly think that she'll be able to wear such a thing until she's older but seeing as how it belonged to Walter's mother, I couldn't refuse. Darien is already starting to breed his horses so that by the time she's ready to take riding lessons, she'll have her own pony but he also gave her some hi-tech toy that I'm having a little trouble getting to work. The instructions are so complicated I'm tempted to throw the whole contraption away. I tell you, the term 'thinking ahead' was probably coined by one of Darien's ancestors. I made her a little quilt using the little baby clothes she had outgrown. And this morning, a package arrived from my brother with the latest in Sesame Street-related merchandise from him, a new dress from Aunt Celeste and a plush doll from Raye and Justin. But all in all, I think she was more impressed with the wrapping paper than with her presents." Serena's eyes sparkled as she talked about Isabella. There was nothing in the world that she wanted to talk about more than her baby but, realizing that not everybody is as excited to hear about every minute detail of Isabella's life as she is, she's forced to restrict her conversations to around five minutes or less. Any more than that, and her audience's attention span dwindles.  
  
"That's great. How has she been developing?" the doctor in Amy asked. Once again, Serena beamed proudly.  
  
"I think she's going to start walking soon. She's beginning to stand up on her own now, and she's mastered the art of crawling." Serena sighed wistfully. "Soon, she's going to start walking and talking, then she's going to go off, get married and leave her old, decrepit mother in a sleazy nursing home that her father and his third trophy wife picked out for her."  
  
Amy laughed at her friend's vision of the future and patted her hand sympathetically. "Let's just stick with walking before we get to abandonment, shall we? By the way, how's your Aunt Celeste? Has she decided on a day for the wedding yet?"  
  
Serena nodded eagerly. "Valentine's Day, 2004. I don't know how she's going to be able to plan for a wedding in just a few months but she said that Mika's helping her out tremendously. I just wish I was there to be able to fulfill my Maid of Honour duties by helping her with the plans or something."  
  
"Have you told Darien that you're going back for the wedding?" Amy asked. Serena shook her head determinedly.   
  
"He'll find out when I'm leaving with Isabella and not a moment before that. I don't want him to have time to pull some stunt that stops me from not attending my own aunt's wedding." Amy looked at her curiously and wondered why Darien would try to stop her when she claimed that they got along now, but chose not to question it.   
  
"So what are your plans for New Year's?" asked Serena, breaking her out of her rumination.  
  
"Zach and I are going to his parents' house in Sacramento and stay there for the weekend. You?"  
  
"The Shields are hosting this big black-tie thing on New Year's eve. From what Melvin told me, they've been doing this for years and their New Year's parties are considered one of the best."  
  
Amy's eyes lit up. "That's great, Serena. You'll have a wonderful time."  
  
Serena shrugged indifferently. "We'll see. I'll probably just make an appearance for a few minutes, then head back upstairs with Isabella when she falls asleep. I doubt anyone would miss me if this party is as huge as it sounds."  
  
Again, Amy wondered what it was that her friend wasn't telling her. "But I thought you said that Darien and his parents are treating you well?"  
  
Serena's eyes got big all of a sudden, as if she just remembered telling Amy that a few moments ago. "We have been getting along," she stammered nervously, "but I just don't want to be introduced to everyone there as 'Darien's baby's mother, or something like that. It's going to be awkward, not to mention humiliating."  
  
Amy nodded, accepting her story to Serena's great relief. "I guess you're right about that. It's not as if they can introduce you as Isabella's mother and leave it at that. People are gonna want to know what is-or isn't-between you and Darien. Just remember, if you come across a particularly nosy person, murder is still illegal in California, so don't even get tempted," she joked.  
  
'Tell that to Darien and his mother. They seem hell-bent on killing me from the inside out,' Serena thought sullenly. Wanting to change the subject, she pointed to Amy's pasta. "How's your food?" she asked.  
  
"It's great. I just love how the sauce is so light, yet so flavourful..."   
  
Serena just sat back and listened to Amy describing her dish with the same enthusiasm she would describe Isabella, listening with only half an ear.  
  
*******************  
  
That evening found Serena in the laundry room, washing Isabella's soiled bibs and her own dirty clothes. Isabella was strapped to her front in a carrier, giving her the freedom of movement to do her washing and keep an eye on her at the same time. "How you doing, honey?" she asked. Isabella gurgled happily in reply and kicked her legs vigorously. "Easy there, sweet pea. That hurts."  
  
Isabella patted Serena's cheek softly. Serena smiled and put the little fingers in her mouth, biting them gently with her lips. Isabella giggled, causing Serena to laugh out loud as well. The sound of their laughter, coupled with the sounds of the washer and dryer, drowned out the sounds of footsteps approaching.  
  
"Serena?"   
  
The woman in question jumped about three feet in the air, dropping the shirt she was folding on the floor. Serena picked up her shirt and began dusting it off against her leg. "What can I do for you, Darien?" she asked stiffly, without turning around. Isabella clapped her hands at the sound of her father's voice. Serena bristled as she felt Darien stand beside her to place his finger in Isabella's tiny fist. She continued to fold her laundry furiously, irked at the fact that Darien and Isabella have formed a tight bond in the short time they've been there. She stalked over to the dryer to take out the clothes, breaking Isabella's hold of her father's finger.   
  
"What can I do for you?" she repeated firmly. Darien watched Serena concentrating on folding baby clothes and completely ignoring him. Not that he could blame her after the way he's treated her.  
  
Ever since she came out of her room the day after Christmas, he's been trying to find a way to talk to her, which wasn't easy considering he went to work early in the morning and she wouldn't come out of her room until he was gone. Every time he got home from work, Serena was already in her room for the night and nothing short of a fire would get her to come out. Darien even went so far as to use his daughter as a means of talking to her but Serena just picked Isabella up and walked out of the room. If he thought things between them were bad before, they were even worse now. 'She's just giving you a taste of your own medicine,' he thought.  
  
"I just wanted to know if you're coming to the party in three days?" he asked. Serena stopped her folding and finally looked at him face on, her expression grim.  
  
"I'll be there for appearance's sake. You can tell your mother to stop worrying about me because I won't stay long enough to cause your good name any harm. I'd hate for your friends to know what your family is really like." Darien felt a spark of anger and he raised his eyebrow at her.  
  
"Oh, and what are we like?"  
  
"You and your mother a two hypocrites joined at the hip, saying one thing and meaning another. Both of you are so quick to condemn me when you don't even know the real me. You and your mother have called me everything from a whore to a gold digger to God knows what else behind my back. As I recall, it takes two to tango and I didn't have to twist your arm to get you into bed with me. You were quite willing to do that on your own. And where do you get off calling me a whore? You're the one who has to have a different woman every night of the week. I bet that shit Zach told Amy and I about how you got your cute little nickname in college wasn't even the whole truth, was it, 'Bed-buster?'" At Darien's flush, she knew that her suspicions had been confirmed.   
  
Darien didn't even have time to defend himself before she had collected her things and was stomping out of the laundry room, turning off the light and shutting the door loudly behind her, leaving him to find his own way out in the dark room. 'This isn't going to be easy,' he thought, unsure whether he meant apologizing to Serena, or making his way to the door without the lights on. When his foot came into contact with a stray basket, causing him to fall on the floor roughly, he realized that he meant both.  
  
*******************************  
  
**December 31, 2003**  
  
The party was in full swing by the time Serena had shyly made her way downstairs in the dress she modeled for Trista last year, with Isabella in her arms. She smiled, looking at Isabella, who was arrayed in a white sleeveless dress, complete with a tulle skirt. Her curly black hair was pulled into two pigtails, tied off with white ribbons and her feet were decked out in white, patent leather Mary Janes. The contrast between Isabella's dark hair and her creamy skin was an unmistakable marker on her parentage.   
  
"You look so pretty, honey," Serena cooed. To her amusement, Isabella nodded her head solemnly, as if she understood what her mother just said.  
  
Serena nervously braced herself before going into the family room, which had been miraculously undergone a transformation overnight. It now looked like a ballroom with all the furniture in storage. There was even a small band playing jazz tunes in the corner. The party guests were milling all around the house, as there were so many of them. Serena had never seen anything like this in her entire life. There were women walking around in designer dresses that probably cost more than her entire university tuition for four years. She had never seen so many men wearing tuxedos in a person's house before-but then again, the Shields manor could hardly be categorized as house.   
  
She saw Darien talking to a group of elegantly dressed men and women and immediately felt her insecurities flare up. She was about to back out of the room, when she saw Darien waving her over with a grim expression on her face. "Here we go, baby," she whispered nervously in Isabella's ear.   
  
Unbeknownst to Serena, Darien had been waiting anxiously for her to arrive. He watched her appear in the doorway with Isabella, looking around in awe at the glamorous people around her. His heart wrenched when he saw that she was wearing the dress he had secretly bought her, and thought of the matching tiara hidden in his closet. By the panicked expression on her face, Darien knew she was on the verge of bolting upstairs without saying hi to anyone. So he did the only thing he could think of to get her to come out of her shell: he asked her to come over so he could introduce her to some family friends.   
  
"Serena," he said as she made her way over to them, "meet some of my friends." He turned to a brunette who, in Serena's opinion wore too little clothing to hide her obviously surgically enhanced figure. "This is Ambrosia and her husband Tom Delancey. Tom's our senior VP in the LA office. This is Michael Davenport, owner of Davenport Shipping." Serena nodded at them politely and waited for Darien to continue with the introductions. Darien turned to a middle aged blonde wearing a tight spandex dress with a cutout in the stomach. "Serena, this is Sandra Jenkins. Her father went to school with my dad's older brother."   
  
Serena looked at the woman who was easily ten years Darien's senior clinging possessively on his arm and thought one word: COUGAR. Stifling the urge to crack a smile, she reached out and shook the woman's hand firmly. Darien smiled and took Isabella from Serena's arms. "And this is my daughter, Isabella. Say hello to daddy's friends, sweetheart."   
  
Sandra looked put out at finding out that Darien had a daughter and didn't hesitate to voice it. "You have a daughter? With whom?"   
  
"With me," Serena replied, interrupting Darien. Sandra gave her the once over and turned her nose up.   
  
"Humph. I thought you were the child's nanny." Serena bristled and was about to launch an all-out attack when, to her surprise, Darien stepped in and beat her to it.  
  
"Sandra. You are talking about the mother of my child. Please apologize to Serena," he said firmly, taking her hand off his arm. Sandra turned injured eyes to him, hoping to persuade him to take her side but found that he was immovable.  
  
"Sorry," she mumbled grudgingly. Serena nodded her head once but said nothing in reply. Sandra and the others took that opportunity to move to latch onto another group.  
  
"I'm really sorry about that, Serena. Sandra's usually such a nice person," Darien explained. Serena took Isabella back and raised her eyebrow.   
  
"Like I said, you're such a hypocrite."  
  
Darien was taken aback. "What did I say?"  
  
"You and your mother have been saying worst things than that since the moment I moved back in, and suddenly when another person says it, you get all defensive on my behalf? Give me a break, Darien. I see through your little act," she said in a low voice so as not to be overheard by the other guests.  
  
"What act?" Darien was confused. Didn't he just defend her from a potentially nasty situation?  
  
Serena rolled her eyes and led Darien to an empty corner of the room before whirling around to face him once again. "Oh, I see. Playing innocent, are we? Well, let me clear it up for you. You've been pretending to be 'nice' to me for the past few days because you know that when I take your ass to court for custody, your little stunt is gonna come back to haunt you. Is that any better?"  
  
Darien grit his teeth in an effort to control his voice. "I wasn't pretending to nice to you, I really was being nice to you." He took a deep breath and exhaled slowly. "Look, I feel terrible about what happened that day. Can't we just get past it and move on?"  
  
Serena stared at him as if he had grown another head. "Oh sure, when you do something wrong, the entire world is supposed to brush your mistake aside as if it had never happened, but when a mere mortal such as I foul up, you're all over me like white on rice. No, Darien. I won't allow you to 'get past it and move on' because you haven't extended the same right to me. Now if you'll excuse me, I think I see your father waving at me." She walked away from him, muttering 'insufferable hypocrite.'  
  
"I turned the man I loved into a man that I can't stand to be around because I wanted to punish him for hurting me the way he did a year ago," was what he recalled hearing Serena telling Isabella the night of his violent outburst. He watched Serena stomp over to where Walter was standing, her frown immediately disappearing into a smile as she gladly passed Isabella off to her grandfather.   
  
'Why couldn't our relationship be like that?' he thought jealously. I'll tell you why, a little voice inside his mind said. It's because you treated her like nothing better than a two-bit whore the minute you found her.  
  
Darien shook his head sadly. 'Surely it wasn't that bad,' he tried to reason with the voice. Oh yeah? How would you like to be called a slut, a gold digger and a bad mother from sun up to sun down every single day? It's amazing she hasn't killed you yet-or even worse, herself.  
  
The thought of he and his mother driving Serena to commit suicide gave him cause for concern. 'How much can one person take?' he wondered, worriedly glancing at Serena who was at the moment, being introduced to some of Walter's friends from his days of running Shields Financial. 'She would never do something like that. Isabella needs her.'   
  
Not liking that feeling, huh? the voice sneered. It's called guilt. Get used to it cuz you have a lot to feel guilty about.  
  
'How do I get her to see that I really am sorry? That I want to start over with her?' Darien asked himself. He could mentally see his mind shrugging its shoulders.  
  
How do you know there's a going back from this? How do you know you haven't pushed her so far away that she never wants to come back?  
  
'That's not possible. We'll find our way back, even if it kills me.'  
  
If his mind had a head, it would be nodding heartily in agreement. Good, use that determination to win her over again. Show her that you're not the asshole you were when you forcibly brought her back here. It's time to treat her like the lady that she is, and not the tramp you've convinced yourself she was.  
  
Darien nodded his own head this time. 'I'll do it. Serena deserves to be treated with respect and I'm afraid that I've been somewhat lax on that subject. I'll win her back eventually.'  
  
Wear her down if it comes to that. There's something to be said about persistence.  
  
'Shut up,' he thought. He searched the room for her but all he could see was a mass of stylishly dressed people standing around talking about who had what cosmetic procedure done and by whom, or who had just finished a stay at a rehabilitation clinic for either a drug, alcohol or weight problem. 'God, we really are a bunch of hypocrites.'  
  
He finally spotted Walter by the bar, standing beside Candace. "Dad, where did Serena go?"  
  
Candace lifted a freshly plucked eyebrow and turned to her drink. "Who knows what's on that girl's mind? Frankly, I really don't care where she is, as long as it's far away from us."  
  
Darien grabbed his mother's arm roughly in a grip so firm that she fearfully asked him to release her, which he did so after glaring at her for a few seconds. "Can't you just back off for a minute mother? Don't you think we've been treating her horribly these past few months?"  
  
Walter lifted up his glass by way of greeting someone from across the room, smiling hugely. "That's what I've been telling you two for the past two and a half months," he said out of the corner of his mouth. "What's with the sudden change?"  
  
Candace set her drink down and folded her arms over her chest, scrutinizing him with suspicion in her eyes. "Yes Darien. Why the sudden change?"  
  
Darien shrugged, avoiding his mother's eyes. "It's a new year; time to forget old grudges and start over, don't you think?"  
  
Candace said nothing as she went back to her drink. Truth was, she didn't like treating Serena that way but loyalty to her son made it impossible not to. Now that Darien was having second thoughts about the way he treated Serena, she wasn't sure she'd be able to swallow her pride and admit that she had played some part in their troubles. If Candace Bennett Shields had a failing, it was her stubborn pride, which she had passed on to her son. No, Candace could not foresee herself eating crow any time soon by apologizing to the woman who had deprived her of her first, and hopefully not the last, grandchild.   
  
She turned away from her son and husband, both of whom were watching her anxiously. "Mom?"  
  
"No."  
  
"Mom..."  
  
"I said no, Darien. I will not ease up on Serena, not when your daughter and my granddaughter is at stake. Now, if you both will excuse me, I have a party to host." Darien and Walter watched Candace's retreating back sadly.  
  
"I'm afraid that my stubbornness has rubbed off on her in the thirty four years we've been married, son." Walter patted his son on the back comfortingly. "Now that your mother is gone, can you tell me what's brought about this change of heart regarding Serena?"  
  
Darien said nothing for a minute, contemplating what to say to his father. "Is it enough to know that my feelings for her have never changed, just evolved into something more? That all this animosity on my part was just a way for me to lash out at her for hurting me?"  
  
"And now..."  
  
"And now, I want my family. The one I should have had if I wasn't so pig-headed and judgmental."  
  
Walter set his drink down and leaned against the bar with his elbows. "It won't be easy."  
  
"I know." Darien leaned back in the same manner as his father, watching the guests interacting with each other, idly.  
  
"You've both said and done things to hurt the other. Have you talked to her about this yet?" Darien nodded his head.  
  
"She thinks I have an ulterior motive. That I'm trying to 'butter her up' so that when we have to try and resolve the custody issue with Isabella in court, that she'll forget about what happened a few days ago."   
  
Walter could see Serena's point. He heard the crash from where he was sitting in this very room that day, and had demanded an explanation from Darien about it when he saw the remains of what looked to be a snow globe. Walter didn't even bother reprimanding his son; he looked like he was already doing the job himself. "So what are you going to do?"  
  
"I don't know dad. I don't know."  
  
In the meanwhile, Serena had been wandering around the house with Isabella, feeling more uncomfortable with every person she was introduced to by one of Walter's old fraternity buddies. After making the rounds around the crowded house, being introduced to this person and that as 'Darien's daughter, Isabella's mother,' she politely excused herself from the friendly man's company to seek a quieter part of the house where she can sit with Isabella in peace.   
  
She found it by the foyer where Melvin was situated, greeting each newly arrived guest and taking their coats and wraps. Serena waited until the guests were gone before speaking to Melvin. "Hi Melvin. Happy New Year."  
  
Melvin turned around and saw her standing by the stairs holding Isabella securely in her arms, looking as if she had just run a marathon. He motioned for her to sit on the steps and he moved to join her. "You don't seem to be having fun," he commented lightly as he sat down.  
  
"I'm not," she replied candidly. "I'm sick of having the words 'the mother of Darien's illegitimate daughter' stamped on my forehead for the entire world to see. I'm sick of living here, always walking on eggshells around the high-and-mighty Darien and the too-aristocratic-for-her-own-damn-good Candace Shields. I want to go back home to people who love and respect me; people who don't treat me like an outsider despite the fact that it wasn't my idea to move here in the first place." She looked pleadingly at Melvin who in turn, looked at her sympathetically. "I feel so tired of living in this oppressive place. Everyday it's a new battle to fight, with me usually on the losing end, and it's more isolation. I don't know how much more of this I can take. When I moved back here, I knew that I wouldn't be as welcomed as I was the first time, but I wasn't expecting open warfare."  
  
Melvin could do or say nothing to reassure her because he knew she was right. In a house where the majority of its occupants was against you, how long would it be before you finally packed it in and just gave up? He was amazed that she managed to last this long. "What're you gonna do?"  
  
Serena sighed tiredly. "What else can I do? I've made a pact with the devil to stay here until my maternity leave is finished before deciding what to do. You know that I can't afford the kind of lawyers that the Shields family probably have on retainer. I would die if Isabella was taken away from me."   
  
She looked down and saw that Isabella had fallen asleep on her lap. She smiled at Melvin, who gently fingered one of her little ponytails.   
  
"Hey Melvin!" Molly called from across the foyer. Melvin stood up a bit sheepishly and blushed.   
  
"Y-yes Molly?" Serena could see him struggling to maintain his cool in front of Molly.  
  
"You'd better be careful about just sitting here, talking to Ms. Mathis and ignoring your duties. What would Mrs. Shields say if she caught you?" she asked sternly.  
  
"I'm sorry Molly but there's no here at the moment..."  
  
"It doesn't matter! You have to be ready at the drop of a hat just in case anyone else shows up or needs something," she admonished. Melvin shuffled his left foot on the carpet and blushed.  
  
"I know how to do my job, Molly." The maid narrowed her eyes at him, before setting them on Serena, and walked away huffily. Melvin turned to Serena, who had an amused expression on her face, and smiled apologetically. "I'm really sorry about that, Serena..."  
  
Serena waved her hand dismissively. "That's okay, I understand. I'm encroaching on her territory."  
  
Melvin raised his eyebrow at her. "What are you talking about? How are you encroaching on her territory?"  
  
Serena rolled her eyes and laughed for the first time in a long while. "She likes you silly, and by the sly looks that you've been sneaking her when you thought no one noticed, I'd say that the feeling's mutual." She smiled in satisfaction at Melvin's bashful blush. "So?"  
  
"What?" he asked self-consciously.  
  
"What are you gonna do about it?" she asked cheekily.  
  
Melvin blushed again and mumbled something so low that Serena had to ask him to repeat it. "I said that I was going to ask her out next week."  
  
"Next week? Why don't you do it tomorrow?"  
  
"Because...I gotta work up the nerve to do it first." He was rewarded with a burst of laughter from his confidante. "What?"  
  
"Nothing," she replied a little too innocently. Seeing the look of skepticism in his face, she added, "you're acting like a love-struck teenager with a crush."  
  
"Yeah, it's so cliché isn't it? The awkward geek having a crush on the popular, unattainable girl." Serena stopped laughing at once and set to work trying to reassure her insecure friend.  
  
"Aw, cheer up Melvin. All isn't lost. I've seen the way Molly's been looking at you, and let me assure you, it's the same kind of looks that you've been shooting her. She's hardly unattainable, Melvin. Molly's human, just like you and me. Trust me, I think you have more than a fair chance with her." Melvin's eyes lit up and Serena could see a spark of hope light up from within its depths.   
  
"You think so?" he asked, the uncertainty in his voice dissipating just a tad.  
  
Serena nodded her head firmly. "Now if you'll excuse me, I've gotta put this little one to bed. Her debut in the world of the rich and the famous has tired her out considerably, and now I'm afraid her highness needs to retire to her crib. If I don't see you at midnight Melvin, Happy New Year."  
  
"Happy New Year, Serena." He watched Serena ascend the stairs and turn to the left to get to Isabella's nursery. Just then, the doorbell rang, snapping him out of his reverie. He rushed to answer the door and greet the guests.  
  
"Good evening Dr. Eisner and Ms. Jones. Happy New Year's Eve. I'll go get Mr. Shields for you," Melvin said politely.  
  
"No need Melvin, I'm right here," Darien's voice boomed out across the foyer. He gave Rita a light kiss on the cheek and pulled Andrew into a hug. "Hey man, it's about time you guys made it. Chad and Greg got here like a half hour ago."  
  
"Sorry Dare, Drew was busy primping and didn't notice the time." Darien and Rita laughed at Andrew's slighted expression.  
  
"Might I remind you, my dear, that it was your indecision about how to style your hair that delayed us in the first place?" Rita play pouted and smacked him lightly on the stomach, which he pretended was harder than it was. Darien rolled his eyes at the antics of his friends, all the while envying them of the love they shared in abundance.  
  
"Where's Serena, Melvin. I think it's time she who Drew really was to this family." Melvin gestured to the top of the stairs where Serena had disappeared no more than two minutes before Andrew and Rita arrived.   
  
"She went to the nursery to put Isabella to bed, sir. I think she turned in for the night." Darien looked longingly up the stairs and hoped that she would come down again.  
  
"I'll go up and check on them. Drew, why don't you take Rita to the sushi bar and get something to eat? There's also the cocktail bar but don't load up on everything you see; dinner's in a half hour," he said distractedly.  
  
"Man, you guys really know how to put out a spread," Andrew said, rubbing his hands together in anticipation. "C'mon honey, the tuna sashimi awaits."  
  
Darien entered the nursery quietly and crept up the crib where his sleeping baby lay. He smiled softly and watched her chest rising as she slept. "Daddy's here, honey," he whispered.  
  
Darien lowered the side rails of the crib so that he could get much closer to her without anything getting in his way. He put his index finger in Isabella's upturned palm, which she closed immediately upon feeling the gentle pressure Darien placed there. He stayed there for another ten minutes just watching his daughter sleeping. Finally, when his calf muscles started cramping from his squatting position, he placed a tender kiss on her forehead and eased his finger from her grasp rather reluctantly. He gently slid the side of the crib up, making sure to lock it securely before leaving. On his way to the door leading to the hallway, Serena's voice floated through the door leading to her room, which was slightly ajar.  
  
He paused, listening to see who she would be talking to, all alone in her room. "I miss you too, Sammy." Darien sighed with relief when he heard Sammy's name. "How have you been?" Darien crept up to her door and watched her small figure perched on her bed, talking on her cell phone.  
  
"We're doing fine, Aunt Celeste," Serena said. She nodded her head to herself, obviously listening to whoever was on the other end. "Yes Aunt Celeste. Isabella is doing fine...Yes, yes...YES! Aunt Celeste..." Darien could hear the frustration building up in her voice.   
  
"Aunt Celeste, I've told you already that Darien and his family have welcomed me back with open arms...No, I'm not lying to you..." Darien could plainly see Serena's crossed fingers behind her back. He heard her sigh once more. "I'm very happy here, Aunt Celeste. I haven't been this happy in a long time."   
  
Darien saw her nodding her head once more, listening to whatever her aunt was telling her. "Fine, let me speak to him again." A moment's pause before her head started bobbing up and down once more to no one in particular.  
  
"I'm doing great, Sammy. Darien and I have come to an understanding and we've never been better. Don't worry about me, okay?" Serena reached over to her night table and pulled out a tissue from the box to wipe away her tears. She listened silently for a few moments, unable to speak in fear of alerting her brother to her pain. "Listen Sammy, I've gotta go now. I hear the baby crying in the other room. I just wanted to call and say Happy New Year...I love you too. Okay bye."  
  
Darien stepped away from the door, afraid that Serena was going to check on Isabella but instead, saw that she had buried her face in her pillow to muffle her sobs. He wanted to reach out and comfort her, but he knew that he had no right to do so. He blew his chance to be the one to soothe away her troubles from the first moment he hurt her. So now, he was going to have to be content to stand by the sidelines as she went through her pain alone.   
  
'Why did she lie to her family?' he asked himself. I'll tell you why, the voice sneered. She's so selfless that she doesn't want her family to know the kind of pain she's going through. She knows that if she tells her family how you and your mother have mistreated her, her brother and her friend's husband will come over on the first plane to LA to kick your ass and haul her home.  
  
Darien thought this over and realized that the voice was right, as annoying as that was. 'I don't deserve her,' he thought for the thousandth time. You bet your ass you don't. Do you know what her brother would have done if he found out how you've been treating her?  
  
'Uh, Sammy would kill me?'  
  
Damn straight, and there won't be enough of you left over for your mother to identify.   
  
Darien listened as Serena's cries turned into hiccups before ceasing altogether. She got to her feet and walked to her dresser, looking at her reflection in the mirror with fire in her eyes. "Don't let him see you cry." Her whispered words were clearly heard in the stiflingly quiet room. "Don't ever let him see you cry."   
  
Wiping away the last of her tears, she turned away from the mirror to face the window. She walked over to the window and looked at the full moon making its way slowly across the sky. "So beautiful," she whispered. She turned around once more, ears straining for any sound coming from the nursery. 'That's funny,' she thought. 'I thought I left that door open. How could it have closed?'  
  
********************************************  
  
**January 4, 2004**  
  
Darien rose from his seat on the couch in the family room, greeting Andrew cheerfully. "Hey Drew, what's up?"   
  
Andrew reached over, grabbed Darien's arm to pull him into a hug, which could be more accurately described as a 'chest bump' for its brevity. When they pulled apart, Darien sat down in an armchair while Andrew flopped down on the couch in front of him. "So, where's Serena and the baby?"  
  
"Serena went to visit an old family friend who just moved here from Toronto so mom and dad are babysitting Isabella."  
  
Andrew shook his head in amusement. "Man, if somebody ever told me that Darien Shields would be a father last year, I would've referred them to a colleague of mine."  
  
"What's so hard to believe? That I'm a father, or that I'm loving it?"  
  
Andrew smirked. "To tell you the truth, both. When you first told me that Serena had not just a baby but your baby, I almost swallowed my tongue in surprise. I'm glad that you've decided to embrace fatherhood. How have things been going with you and Serena?"  
  
Darien studied his hands folded in his lap. "She's convinced that my remorse is just an act to get on her good side. She won't listen to me when I tell her that I want to start over."  
  
"Why would she think you want to get back on her good side?" asked Andrew, unconsciously taking on his 'Dr. Eisner tone.'  
  
"She's got it in her head that I'm scared my bid for custody of Isabella would suffer if the judge found out about that little 'Christmas incident.' She's wrong of course, but I can't convince her otherwise because she won't stay in the same room with me long enough to explain." Darien slouched in his seat and put his feet up on the coffee table.  
  
"What about New Year's? I thought you went upstairs to talk to her after she went up to put Isabella down?" Andrew saw the guilt and anguish in Darien's eyes. "What is it?"  
  
"I overheard her talking to her family from her room when I went to check on Isabella. Drew, she's been lying to her family about us. I heard her tell her brother and aunt all this bullshit about me and mom getting along with her and treating her better than we really do." Andrew shifted positions so that he was now leaning with his elbows on his knees with his feet planted firmly on the ground.  
  
"Why do you think she would do that?" In his own mind, Andrew was already coming up with his own conclusions but he wanted to hear the words coming from Darien's mouth.  
  
"She's been covering up for me and mom so that her brother won't worry about her. From what I gather, her brother and aunt constantly question her well-being, especially with her living here. I guess she just wants to keep the peace." Andrew nodded in understanding.  
  
"From our sessions, I've gathered that Serena doesn't like to stir up trouble for other people, especially on her behalf. She's a very independent person who doesn't like to have to rely on others to help her with her problems but at the same time, go to extreme lengths to help out a person in need, even to the point of putting her life in jeopardy." Darien's ears perked up.  
  
"What do you mean, 'even to the point of putting her life in jeopardy?' Does this mean that she's covered up for a person before at the risk of her own life?" Andrew swore to himself for accidentally letting that bit of information slip out.  
  
"I can't say. You know I could be sued for malpractice if I do." Darien growled in frustration.  
  
"Just say yes or no."  
  
Andrew sighed. It was obvious Darien wouldn't rest until he got a straight answer, unfortunately it wouldn't be from him. "Alright; yes. She has kept secrets before that ultimately caused herself more harm than good in order to protect someone. I'm sorry Darien, but I've told you more than I should have."  
  
Darien's mind whirled at all the new questions Andrew's vague answer posed. What happened? Who was she trying to protect? From what? From whom? Just as he was about to open his mouth to ask another question, Candace and Walter walked into the room with Isabella squirming in Walter's arms.   
  
She had been itching to walk but unfortunately hadn't mastered the skill yet, as she could barely stand on her own. But that didn't stop the little girl from trying. She would latch on to a solid piece of furniture and hoist herself up. When she felt that she had gotten to a steady position, she would abruptly let go and try to half run, half walk to her target, ultimately ending up falling on her diapered rear end, crying in bitter disappointment and suffering from a wounded ego. And so, knowing this, Walter delivered her to the waiting arms of her father instead of letting her go down. Isabella settled in Darien's lap for a good thirty seconds, before demanding to be released again.   
  
"Ok, ok honey. Just let daddy stand up first." Darien stood up from the armchair, which Walter promptly occupied just seconds after he was gone, and supported Isabella into an upright position by holding her chubby arms up. She laughed happily, glad that she was finally 'walking' without falling over on the floor. She looked up at her father and beamed. "That's great sweetie. You're walking!" he exclaimed. Darien walked her around the room slowly, telling her to put one foot in front of the other but, being an independent baby, Isabella would sometimes try to step forward with both feet, resulting in a thwarted attempt at a jump.  
  
Candace watched her son playing with her granddaughter for a while before sitting down in on the couch beside Andrew. "So Drew, how have you been? How's that lovely fiancée of yours?"  
  
Andrew beamed proudly. He had proposed to Rita on New Year's Eve in the rose gardens but didn't tell Darien about it until the day after. "She's doing great. Can't stop looking at the ring." Walter chuckled.  
  
"That's how Candace was when we first got engaged. She would constantly ask people to pass things to her, then wave her left hand under the person's nose just as they leaned over. Drove her father nuts," he joked.  
  
"That's a fine way to talk about your wife of thirty-four years," Candace sniffed playfully. "Just see where you're going to sleep tonight." Walter pretended to pull at his collar and wipe invisible sweat from his brow.   
  
"See what you're up for, Drew? Are you sure you're ready for it?" Andrew nodded his head eagerly.   
  
"I can't wait."  
  
"Have you set a date?" asked Candace.  
  
"Not yet. Actually, we're just basking in the glow of getting engaged first. Then we'll worry about the wedding plans later." Walter nodded in agreement.  
  
"Wise choice. As soon as we got engaged, Candace's mother and sisters flocked around us, planning for a wedding that didn't take place until a year later. From sun up to sun down, all I heard was wedding talk from a gaggle of excited females leading a poor bachelor like me to the slaughter." Candace reached over the coffee table and slapped her husband on the knee.  
  
"It wasn't like that! Mom and my sisters were just happy for me because I was the last Bennett girl to get married." Candace glanced at the clock and turned to Darien. "What time do you expect Serena to come home?"  
  
"In about an hour and a half, why?"  
  
Candace sniffed scornfully. "Nothing. It's just that she's always leaving her child here with us so she could run around town doing God knows what. What kind of a mother is that?"  
  
Darien scowled and lifted Isabella into his arms. "She volunteered to take Isabella with her before she left to visit her mother's best friend. As I recall, you were the one who insisted that Isabella stay at home."  
  
"I didn't want her to tire the child out needlessly," she replied haughtily.  
  
Darien rolled his eyes. "Oh I see. I guess this is just another case of 'damned if you do, damned if you don't' huh? C'mon Drew. Let's go to the back of the house and get some fresh air."  
  
Andrew stood up to leave after smiling at Candace and Walter politely. Then he followed Darien who had already walked through the door.   
  
"Oof!" he heard from the hallway. Apparently, Darien had bumped into someone on his way out the door but seeing as how Darien had a large built and he was blocking the doorway, Andrew couldn't see who it was.   
  
"Sorry about that Serena. I guess I didn't see you back there. What are you doing back so soon? You weren't due back for another hour and a half."  
  
"What, miss me, Darien?" she asked sarcastically.  
  
"As a matter of fact, yes."  
  
"Give me a break. I came back early because Aunt Eleanor's son called her from Toronto to see how she settled in. Rather than staying to listen to their conversation, I told Aunty Elly that I had to be going back anyway." She reached over and took Isabella, who went happily, from Darien's arms. Just then, she happened to look over Darien's shoulder and see Andrew standing there looking at her. "Dr. Eisner," she gasped, her eyes round as saucers.  
  
Before he could reply, Candace called to them, unaware of the intimate relationship that Andrew and Serena shared. "When are you going to bring Rita over for dinner, Drew?"  
  
Darien felt his heart sink as a flicker of understanding was lit in Serena's eyes. He watched as she shifted Isabella so that her weight was on her right hip before her face turned red in anger.  
  
"Did she just call Dr. Eisner, Drew?" she asked quietly. Darien nodded his head weakly, his heart hammering in his chest. "So you mean to tell me that my doctor was Drew all along?" She saw Melvin passing by on his way to get the mail and thrust Isabella into his arms. "Please take her for a moment Melvin, and don't let her out of your sight."  
  
"What? Why?"  
  
She silenced him with a hand. "Please just don't ask questions. Wait for me by the stairs and don't let anybody else hold her until I tell you to." Hearing the seriousness in her voice, Melvin quickly did as he was told without even bothering to consult his employers.  
  
"What are you going to do, Serena?" Darien asked nervously.  
  
Serena whipped her head to look at first him, then Andrew, before pushing her way past them and into the family room. Candace and Walter looked up from the couch and held back a gasp. Never before had they seen Serena this angry before. Her cheeks were red, brows furrowed and her hands clenched tightly into fists.  
  
"What's wrong, girlie?"  
  
"I'll tell you what's wrong, Walter. My two-timing therapist has turned out to be your son's spy. Tell me Drew, how long did you wait until I was out of your office before you called up your little buddy over here to give him the dirt about me?" she asked contemptuously.  
  
"It's not like that, Serena." Andrew's eyes were begging Serena to listen but her fury would not be abated.  
  
"You mean Andrew was your therapist?" asked Candace. Serena whirled on her with narrowed eyes.  
  
"You mean you didn't know?" she asked sarcastically. "Well, I guess you've got another thing to hold over my head Mrs. Shields. Not only am I an unsuitable candidate to bear your precious son's offspring, but now you can prove that I'm certifiably crazy! Congratulations, this is certainly looking to be a great year for the Shields'. But you haven't answered my question yet, Dr. Eisner. How long did you wait until I was out of the office before you called Darien?"   
  
"He never called-"  
  
"I WASN'T TALKING TO YOU, DARIEN!" she screamed. "Not everything revolves around you, you know. I bet you two had a real laugh when Drew told you how I was molested by my dad's friend when I was eight years old, huh?"  
  
Darien and his parents were rooted to their spots as Serena laughed wildly at her own revelation. "Bet you thought that was hilarious, huh Darien? Jake Cassidy, my father's college roommate molested me in my own room at the tender young age of eight. What did you think was funnier, when Drew told you that he threatened to rape and impregnate my mother if I told anyone, or the fact that my father and all his friends were in the kitchen, waiting for Jake to come back from taking a smoke so they could resume their poker game?"  
  
By now, tears were falling down her face, yet she refused to acknowledge them. She furiously slapped Walter's hand away from her shoulder when he tried to comfort her.   
  
"You have to believe me, Serena. Drew never told me about what you said in your sessions," Darien pleaded. Serena's angry face turned into one of mocking. She put a hand dramatically to her chest and gasped.  
  
"He never told you about that? Well, if it came from you, then of course I'll have to believe it. We all know how good you are at saying one thing and meaning another." She paced around the room a little before turning around to face him again.  
  
"Here's a laugh for you. Did Drew ever tell you that I was raped for the first time by that monster when I was just eleven years old? Well? Did he?" Darien made a move to stop her but Andrew put a hand on his shoulder, warning him silently to just let Serena have her say without interruptions.   
  
"How about the time when I finally told my father what had been happening to me and he went out to confront Jake, his supposed best friend? Jake's neighbours told the police that my dad and Jake started fighting on his front lawn, before both of them got into my dad's car and sped away. They said that Jake leapt into my dad's car when he said he would report him to the police. Witnesses on the highway said that they saw Jake trying to wrestle my dad away from the steering wheel, causing them to careen from one lane to another before losing control altogether and flipping over the median. You wanna know what happened next?" she asked with a conspiratorial wink at Darien. Taking his stunned silence as a go-ahead, she continued.  
  
"The car exploded upon impact. Poof!" Serena used her hands to mimic an explosion. "They both died instantly. There wasn't enough of my father left over to put in a coffin so we had to erect a memorial instead. From what I've pieced together, my father was trying to get Jake to a police station so that he could be arrested. Funny isn't it? How life works? There's no distinguishing between the good and the bad when it comes to death. When it's your time to go, it's your time to go."  
  
A heavy silence settled on them as the horror of Serena's early life was finally starting to be revealed. Suddenly, Serena snapped her fingers, as if she had just come up with a brilliant idea. "Here's one for you, Mrs. Shields. I'll bet you'd love to hear this story. I'm afraid I was a little slut in high school, just like your mother has been saying, Darien. You see, I've been looking for love in all the wrong places. Gee, doesn't that sound like a country music song?" She shrugged her shoulders dismissively before breaking out into an eerily beautiful smile. Candace couldn't bear to look at the sight any longer so she had to turn away.  
  
"Ah well. As I was saying, all my romantic relationships were based on one thing alone: sex. The guys wanted it, and I wanted to give it. You see, I stupidly thought that by putting out, I'd find the love I was desperately craving." She shrugged her shoulders again, looking like a child caught with her hand in the cookie jar after being told to stay away from it. "I was wrong. Word got around that I was easy so all the guys wanted to go out with me, even the teachers, although we had to be a little more discreet. I suspect that I've slept with half the male faculty in my school. Such a shame I never charged them anything for my time, but then I guess I would really be a hooker then, huh Mrs. Shields?"  
  
"Serena, please..." Darien tired to pull her into a hug but she pushed him away.   
  
"Don't touch me!" she screamed. She jabbed a finger in his chest accusingly. "Did Dr. Eisner ever tell you about my failed suicide attempt? God, even when I try to kill myself something goes wrong!"  
  
Walter reached out to wrap her in his arms but stopped at the frenzied look in her eyes. "What do you think of me now, Mr. Shields?" she asked brokenly. "Still think you should be in my corner? I understand if you hate me now too. I mean, who am I to condemn you for hating me when I hated myself pretty much all my adult life up until last year when I gave birth to Isabella?"  
  
Walter gathered her up in his arms, his eyes shining with unshed tears. "Never, girlie. I could never hate you," he whispered in her hair. Upon hearing those words, the tension in Serena's body melted away and she let herself relax in his embrace.  
  
"Thank you, Walter," she whispered as she pulled herself away from him. Wiping away her tears, she turned to face Darien and Candace who had been watching her with guilt-filled eyes. "I'll see you in court," she said to Darien, her voice edged with a thinly veiled hostility.   
  
"What do you mean by that?" Darien got no reply for Serena had already walked out of the family room and was heading for the stairs at a furious pace. "Serena!" He raced out of the room to follow her, a feeling of dread washing over him. In his haste to catch up to Serena, Darien failed to hear his mother's soft-spoken words: "I didn't know, oh God, I didn't know."  
  
By the time Darien reached the foyer, Serena was already giving orders to Melvin not to let the child go for any reason except to give back to her when she arrived downstairs with a packed bag in her hand. Seeing Darien out of the corner of her eye, she started running up the stairs while calling over her shoulder, "please Melvin!"  
  
Darien ran past Melvin, who shielded Isabella with his body because he thought that Darien would try to make a sudden grab for her. But at the moment, all he saw was Serena, the blonde vision who had stolen his heart while he mercilessly trampled hers , and knew that she would be once again leaving him, this time taking away the only other female that he loved more than his life except for her.   
  
"Serena! Wait!" By the time he got to the top of the stairs, Serena was already racing down the hall, trying to get to her room before he got to her. Darien reached her door, which she was in the process of shutting. "Serena! It's not what you think!"   
  
"Leave me alone!" She was about to slam the door in his face but Darien, who was anticipating this move, stuck his foot in the doorway. The door practically crushed his foot but Darien ignored the pain. Serena cried out in frustration and walked away from the door, heading for her closet.  
  
She yanked the doors open, took out a suitcase and spread it open on the bed. "What're you doing?" asked Darien as he watched her stalk back to her closet and yank an armful of clothes at the same time.  
  
"What the hell does it look like I'm doing?" she snarled, dumping the clothes in the suitcase without bothering to take out the hangers. "I'm getting the hell out of this shithole and I'm taking my daughter with me!"  
  
Darien took her clothes out of the suitcase and flung them to the floor. "Oh no you don't. You're not going to run away again-not with my daughter."  
  
Serena looked at her scattered clothing on the floor and saw red. "What the hell did you do that for? You can't keep me here against my will!" She watched in silent astonishment as Darien picked up her clothes and threw them out into the hallway. She put her hands on her hips and glared at Darien's impassive face. "You are such a pain in the ass, Darien. Who the hell do you think you are, ordering me around? You're not my father; you'll never amount to even half the man he was!"  
  
"I may not be your father but I am Isabella's." He sighed in frustration before visibly trying to soften his features. He looked deeply into Serena's eyes, trying to find a common ground with the woman he loved. "Please Serena. Don't leave me. I know you're not going to believe me, but I really do want you to stay here with me."  
  
Serena rolled her eyes and picked up her clothes from the hallway, shoving them furiously into her suitcase. If she wasn't haphazard in packing before, she sure was now. Darien watched as pants and t-shirts, hangers and belts were unmercifully tamped down to make way for more. When the suitcase was full to overflowing, Serena reached under the bed for the duffel bag she kept there. She walked to her dresser, pulled a drawer completely free from its hinges and dumped its contents-makeup and whatnot-into the duffel bag.   
  
Finally, when Darien thought he could take no more of watching Serena preparing to leave his life once again, he grabbed her roughly by both arms and spun her around to face him. Serena wanted to cry out at the pain his vice-like grip was inflicting but she wouldn't give him the satisfaction of knowing that he had once again hurt her. "Unhand me at once, Darien," she said slowly, her voice dangerously low. Darien tightened his grip and this time, she couldn't keep the wince from her face.  
  
"Why do you have to be so stubborn? I admit, I've made mistakes in dealing with you in the past but I'm willing to work them out and give our daughter the family she deserves. Why can't you do the same?" he asked angrily.  
  
To his annoyance, all Serena did was snicker. "You call this a family? I would sooner leave my daughter in an orphanage than let the likes of you and your mother raise her. You don't know the meaning of the word family. A family loves one another. They support each other through thick and thin. They don't constantly find ways to make each other's lives a living hell. I shudder to think of my daughter growing up in this environment, where people are judged and condemned before hearing the entire story." She bit the inside of her cheek to prevent the gasp that was building its way up her throat from escaping because of the firmness of Darien's hold on her.  
  
"So why don't you enlighten me? Tell me Serena, why did you keep my daughter from me for six months?" His response was a sharp kick in the shins, causing him to almost let her go-almost. "Fine. Don't tell me because I have a few things to tell you. I want you to listen to me and listen good because I'm going to say this over and over until you get it in your thick head what it is I'm trying to say and it'll be easier for the both of us if you get this in one go. I. Love. You. Want me to repeat it? I love you, Serena Mathis, and I don't want you to leave. I want you and our daughter to stay here with me so that we can be a family. What do you say?"  
  
Serena narrowed her eyes and Darien could see the suspicion still lingering within. "I don't believe you," she said evenly.  
  
Even though he was expecting such an answer, he still couldn't believe it. "What?" he asked incredulously.  
  
"I said I don't believe you," Serena said a little bit louder this time and a proud tilt in her chin.  
  
Darien cried out in frustration and shook her roughly. "Why the hell not?" he snarled.  
  
"You just want me to let my guard down so that I'll allow myself to be subjected to whatever Machiavellian ideas of justice your mother has while you take my child away and brainwash her to forget I ever existed. You've tried threats and now you're trying to sweet talk me into giving my child up. The only way that's ever going to happen is if you kill me, Darien. So come on, do your worst." Darien shook her by the arms again, but stopped when he saw the look of pain flash in her eyes before it disappeared just as quickly as it came.  
  
"What the hell are you talking about? I'm not trying to sweet talk you and I'm sure as hell not going to kill you. I LOVE YOU DAMMIT, WHY WON'T YOU BELIEVE ME?" he shouted.  
  
"BECAUSE YOU SAID I WAS NOTHING BUT A WHORE AFTER WE SLEPT TOGETHER!" she screamed back. She felt his grip on her shoulders relax a little and took that opportunity to shake herself free from him. Serena stood three feet away and stared at him proudly, tears brimming her eyes, which she wiped furiously away. "I'm not going to believe in your little proclamations of love, not this time."  
  
"You better explain what you just said because I have no idea what the hell you're talking about." Serena laughed scornfully and looked at him with bitterness in her eyes.  
  
"That's right. I forgot about your convenient memory loss. Let me try to jog it for you then. You were drunk and overdosed on Tylenol when you came home from the bachelor party and stumbled upon me in the kitchen. You 'confessed' your 'true' feelings for me and I was too naïve to notice how wasted you were. In my elation, I admitted that I loved you back. Then you took me upstairs to what you called 'our room' where we proceeded to conceive our daughter. Then at the wedding, I overheard you tell Drew, or should I say Dr. Eisner, that you 'had the best fuck' of your life with 'some slut' you picked up at the bar. Ring any bells now?" Darien's face turned ashen as he recalled saying those exact things to Andrew while he was waiting for Serena to come out of the ladies' room.  
  
"You heard?" he whispered.  
  
"You bet your ass I heard. Those words are the first I hear when I wake up and the last I hear before I go to sleep. They replay themselves at various times during the day, but mostly when I'm around you so I guess you can see why I felt I had to leave this miserable place." Serena felt like she was going to cry again so she turned away from Darien. 'Don't let him see you cry,' she chanted in her head, tears slipping down her cheeks.  
  
"I-I didn't know it was you."  
  
"Obviously." Darien could see that her shoulders were shaking and he knew she was crying, no matter how hard she tried to keep it from him. He placed his hand lightly on her shoulder and was relieved when she didn't slap it away.  
  
"Please believe me, Serena. I may not have known it was you the next day, but I did the night before, otherwise why would I have admitted my feelings for you?" he asked softly.  
  
"To get me into bed with you, maybe? Look Darien, I don't want to go through this again. I just want to go back home and be with people who love and support me. We can arrange visitation in a few weeks or so. Just please, don't tell me any more lies. I don't think my heart can take much more of it," she pleaded wearily. For the moment, all Serena wanted to do was to sleep off her pain and go home in the morning.   
  
Darien felt something tugging at his heart at her defeated tone. "Please look at me," he said, turning her around to face him. "I love you, Serena. I'm not just saying it to get you and Isabella to stay or to get your guards down. I love you. I LOVE YOU! What more can I do to get you to believe that?"  
  
Serena said nothing as she stumbled to a corner of the room and sank wearily down to the floor. "Nothing," she said, bringing her knees to her chest. Darien sat down on the wall across from her.   
  
"I'm really sorry about the things I've said to you since that night, Serena. But please believe me when I say that I've felt something for you the moment we met down by the pool. I knew I loved you when we saw each other again at the stable and you were petting Endymion. I felt the magic you were using on Endymion having its effect on me. I fell under your spell that day and I've been under it ever since." Darien glanced up and saw that Serena's eyes were glistening with tears. "You don't have to believe me now, but please promise me that you won't do anything we'll end up regretting. I, in turn, promise to show you how much I really love you. Let's get it right this time, Serena. This may be our last chance and I don't know about you, but I want to take it."  
  
"When did everything get so hard, Darien?" Serena asked, almost childlike. She leaned her head against the wall and closed her eyes. "Jake may have raped my body, but you raped my soul. Jake stole my innocence from me, and you stole my dreams. I just want to go back to the way it was before...I want my parents back, I want my innocence back, I want my childhood back...I want...my family...I want..."  
  
"What do you want, Serena?" Darien questioned softly. But he got no answer for Serena had fallen into a blissful sleep, exhausted from the pain of dredging up past hurts. Darien sighed and watched her sleep and for the first time in a long while, saw the worry lines melt away until she looked almost like the child she so desperately wanted to become again. 'I'm so sorry for causing you so much pain, Serena,' he thought. Then he remembered all the things she said while they were downstairs and was hard-pressed not to go to her and wrap her in his arms, never letting her go.  
  
******************************  
  
Downstairs, Candace and Walter were still reeling from all the things Serena revealed about her childhood. "I'm so sorry," Candace sobbed on her husband's shoulder. "I didn't know. How could such a thing happen?"  
  
Andrew sat down on the coffee table in front of the distraught woman and took her hand. "You couldn't have known, Mrs. Shields. Serena was a very secretive person. It took her suicide attempt to get her to tell her family and friends what happened to her as a child."  
  
Candace looked at him with tear-filled eyes. "I still don't understand. How did she come to be your therapist?"  
  
"Her doctor in Toronto referred me to her, but I didn't know she was your physical therapist, Mr. Shields. She always referred to you Mr. and Mrs. Potts to protect your privacy." At this, Candace's eyes welled up with tears again.  
  
"I feel so ashamed of myself. Everything I've said to her face and behind her back is now coming back to haunt me. I'm never going to be able to forgive myself for adding to the pain that poor girl has been through."  
  
Walter said nothing to his wife except shushing in her ear as a way to comfort themselves. His heart broke for the girl he had come to love as a daughter and couldn't help from reproaching himself for not knowing about her private pain sooner. 'You should've known. You should've taken the time to get to know her better instead of always complaining about what ailed you. God, the things that poor child has gone through.'  
  
The screaming that they heard from upstairs suddenly died down until there was no sound coming from upstairs at all. From where they sat, they could hear every muffled word that Serena and Darien yelled at each other, for Serena's room was right about the family room, including the real story behind that night. Shortly after all the screaming died down, Melvin appeared in the doorway nervously holding onto a crying Isabella.   
  
"What should I do with her?" he asked timidly. "Serena told me not to let her go until she came downstairs with her suitcases but it sounds like she won't be coming down for a while."  
  
"Here, let me take her," Candace offered but Melvin shied away.  
  
"No offense Mrs. Shields, but when Serena told me not to let anyone else take her, I think she meant you and your son. You may be my employer, but Serena is my friend and also Isabella's mother, so I think her word overrules yours. If you want to let me go as your employee, I understand, but I won't go against Serena's wishes." Candace regarded him with something akin to admiration and anger. In the end, she nodded her head tiredly.  
  
"Of course we won't let you go. Just give the child to Walter and go back to your duties. Before you go, I just want to say that I respect your loyalty to your friend and that I know your loyalty to me as your employer must have put you in a difficult place. I'm really sorry for making things harder for everyone than it should have been." Melvin nodded his acknowledgment of the roundabout apology and passed Isabella off to her grandfather before leaving the room, only to stand anxiously by the foot of the stairs, waiting for a sign as to how Serena was doing.   
  
The other members of the staff came out slowly from their hiding places in the foyer, for some had heard the entire screaming match taking place in the family before blowing up to epic proportions in Serena's room upstairs. Those who weren't present in the beginning were quickly alerted by their colleagues using the network of phones throughout the house and arrived just in time to see Serena's clothes flying out into the hallway. They all took seats beside Melvin on the stairs, waiting to see if the woman they had shunned in order to curry favour with the mistress of the house, was going to come out to assure them that she and the little angel they had all come to love were staying for good.   
  
Molly sat down beside a worried Melvin and took his hand in hers. "She'll be fine," she told him. "If she managed to survive her childhood, she's going to survive anything that the Shields throw at her."  
  
Melvin gave her hand a light squeeze. "I hope so."  
  
*************************  
  
Serena woke up to a soft singing in her ear. The voice was low and velvety, just right for putting someone at ease. She lazily opened one eye and, upon seeing the owner of the melodic voice, opened the other. She struggled to sit up but Darien's arm, which was wrapped securely about her waist, held her down. "What're you up to this time, Darien?" she asked.  
  
"You fell asleep a few hours ago in the corner. I fell asleep soon after but I woke up when you started having a nightmare. I tried to calm you down but nothing worked so I picked you up and carried you to this armchair to rock you back to sleep," Darien explained patiently. "I've been singing to you for about a half hour now."  
  
For the first time, Serena noticed that she was cradled in Darien's lap, with one arm fastened around his neck and the other around his waist. Again, she tried to sit up but Darien only held her more closely to him. "Please don't run away from me, Serena. I'm begging you, please stay here with me so that we could make a fresh start."  
  
Serena looked up into his eyes and saw that they were glimmering with tears. "I don't know if I can take any more..."  
  
"I'm so sorry for everything I did, Serena. If I have to, I'll make it up to you for the rest of my life, if only you're willing to hang around that long. I love you, I love you, I love you," he whispered, putting as much feeling into his words as possible. He kissed her forehead softly and rejoiced inwardly when she allowed it. "Let me love you, Serena."  
  
"I don't know if I can," she whispered. "Isn't it too late? Shouldn't we just cut our losses and move on?" Darien shook his head vehemently and burrowed his face into her hair, which she again allowed.  
  
"Never. I don't even want to think about living without you again, and certainly without Isabella. Please Serena, let's just give it a try. Think about what's at stake." Darien could still see the indecision lingering in her eyes. "You said yourself that you grew up with a mother and father who loved each other and it hurts to know that we can't find that same love together. But we had it once, didn't we? Those beautiful days when everything was so simple before I had to go and ruin it."  
  
Serena gasped in surprise. "How did you know I said that?" she asked, unconsciously running her fingers through the hair on the nape of his neck.   
  
"I heard you over the baby monitor. And I have to confess something else to you. I went to check on you on New Year's Eve and I overheard you telling your family how well everyone was getting along. I'm so sorry that you had to lie to your family like that." Serena rested her head against his shoulder. "Why did you do it?"  
  
Darien rested his chin on the top of her head. "It was easier that way. I didn't want the hostility to bombard me from all sides-from here and from home. I didn't want Isabella to grow up in a war zone." Darien felt tears running down his neck and knew that they came from her. "On some level, I think that I was trying to fool myself into thinking that you, Isabella and I really have formed a family. It was a form of escapism."  
  
Darien nuzzled her hair again, feeling like his heart would burst. "Let's form that family of our dreams now. Serena, I promise you, I'm going to make all this up to you if you'll just give me a chance. Please give us this chance."  
  
They said nothing for a few minutes, with Darien rocking Serena to both their hearts' content. Finally, Darien tilted her chin up and searched her eyes for an answer. "Serena, what do you say?" he asked, his heart pounding in fear and anticipation of what she had to say.  
  
"I don't know if I'm ready to jump into a relationship with you right now. I don't know if I can give you my heart again. I mean, we've never even gone out on a date before jumping into bed together." She paused, seeing the stricken expression on Darien's face and rushed to amend it. "But I'm willing to start as friends again. Out of everything that I've lost in my life, I think our friendship was one of the hardest things I've ever had to give up. I want us to get to know each other again, as friends, before we get to know each other as anything more."  
  
Darien nodded, glad to know that he at least still had a chance. "I'll take whatever I can get," he told her. He hugged her happily and sighed in contentment. "Since we're friends now, do you think you can tell me what happened to you when you were a child? I want to know everything about you and support you in whatever way I can. I just want you to know that Andrew never told me a thing, no matter how hard I tried to force him to. Please don't blame him for any of this," he said.  
  
Serena peeked out from under his chin and gave him a tiny smile. "I don't. I shouldn't have said those things down there. Do you think he'll ever forgive me?"  
  
"How could he not?"  
  
Serena snuggled closer to him and sighed. Then she began to tell him about her childhood, from the happy years before she met Jake Cassidy, to the horror-filled ones after. Darien listened as she spun her tale, struggling to keep his emotions in check, even when she started crying as she got to the part about her beloved father's death. There were times that Serena had to stop because the tears threatened to overwhelm her, and he did his part to wipe them away. There were times where Darien's own tears threatened to overflow. But they stayed in each other's arms, talking to each other as nothing more than friends-for now, as far as Darien was concerned-until the wee hours of the morning. Then, when the sun started to appear over the horizon, Darien picked her up and carried her to her bed for a few hours' sleep.   
  
"Sleep well, my friend. Today is a brand new day," he said as he pulled the blanket up to her chin. She blinked at him sleepily and smiled.  
  
"Thanks friend. It is indeed a brand new day."  
  
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That's it for now, peeps! Please leave a review at the door. Mya, this chapter's for you. I hope you get better real soon.  
  
358 


	15. Just Friends

This is my third re-write of this chapter. I hope it's the last. I just want to thank everyone who have either emailed or left a review for this story. It means a lot to me and they're usually what keep me going!  
  
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Wounded Souls  
  
Chapter 14-Just Friends  
  
By: ~crystal~rose~{@  
  
July 22, 2002  
  
******************************  
  
Serena stepped out of her washroom, freshly showered and newly dressed, to a pounding on her door. 'Who could that be? It's only 8:15 in the morning.' Suddenly, she remembered all the events that happened the day before and was filled with dread. Seeing her therapist in the family room, which led to her near-breakdown; the haze that surrounded her vision and clouded her senses as she described her childhood to the Shields with no regard to what they would think of her afterward; the almost physical fight that took place between Darien and herself; all came rushing back into her mind with a vengeance, making her sit up in bed abruptly. The pounding on the door continued and she looked at it with slight trepidation. What if it was Mrs. Shields coming in to admonish her for her behaviour the day before?  
  
"Serena! Are you awake? Can you open the door?" Darien called from behind the door. Serena sighed with relief, for she remembered their newly established 'friendship,' and sprung into action.  
  
"Coming!" she called. She raced to the door and flung it open. Outside, Darien was sharply dressed in a charcoal grey business suit and cobalt blue shirt-which brought out his eyes-and matching tie. Although Serena thought that she looked rather nice in her favourite pair of dark denim flares and a black, sheer baby doll top with a red camisole underneath, she couldn't help but feel shabby in comparison to Darien in his designer suit.   
  
"Serena, can you let me in please? This stuff is really heavy," Darien said, indicating the huge tray laden with food that he held in his hands. Puzzled, Serena held the door wider and stepped aside to let him in.   
  
"What's all this about?" she asked as he set the tray down on the night table and sat down in the chair beside her bed, silently telling her with a nudge of his head to do the same. She sat on the mattress with both feet on the floor facing him. "Darien?"  
  
"I just thought that it would be nice to have breakfast together now that we're friends again." He didn't mention that he was concerned about the amount of weight she'd lost and how alarmingly light she was when he picked her up last night and rocked her back to sleep when her nightmare threatened to wake her up. "It's been a while since we last had breakfast together, or even saw each other in the mornings."  
  
Serena offered him a shy smile as she picked up a piece of toast at Darien's urging. "Oh that. Well, it's just that I wanted to avoid you, especially since..." The toast she had conveniently stuffed in her mouth muffled her last word, but he could distinctly hear the word 'Christmas.' Darien winced at that memory and looked at her apologetically.  
  
"I'm really sorry about that day, Sere. I don't know what got into me, but I guess I was just feeling so frustrated at out situation that I felt like I had to lash out at something. Then when I saw you and Melvin..."  
  
"You got jealous," she finished for him, nonchalantly digging into her omelet. Darien nodded sheepishly.  
  
"Well yeah, you could say that. I know that's no excuse but I'm really sorry for the way I've been acting. Can you ever find it in your heart to forgive me?"  
  
"As long as you can forgive me for not telling you about our daughter. I shouldn't have run away like that. We've both made horrendous mistakes but I think it's best if we try to move past them and work on getting to know each other again." She smiled when Darien nodded his head in agreement.  
  
"I'm glad that we're getting to know each other again. It's been so long since we've last talked about anything that didn't have any hostility in it."   
  
"You're right. We need to get back to way things used to be before we decide if we want to take it a step further." Serena lifted Darien's plate and slid the tray out from underneath it. She then set his plate down on the night table and the tray on the bed, in order for them to have more room to eat. She eagerly dug into what looked to be a ham and cheese omelette in front of her. "I've missed Lita's omelettes."  
  
Darien smiled proudly and puffed out his chest, reminding Serena of Walter whenever he did something that pleased himself immensely. "She didn't make it. I made this all by myself. You should've seen her face when she walked into the kitchen and saw me at the stove. She looked like she was gonna cry."  
  
"Ah..." When Darien wasn't looking, she discreetly spit out the eggshell she discovered lodged within her ham and cheese omelet. She quickly hid it in her napkin and looked up at him innocently. "It's wonderful. Almost couldn't tell it wasn't Lita's handiwork."  
  
Darien's grin became wider as he dug into his eggs himself. He chewed thoughtfully, ignoring the distinct crunch he heard as he bit into an eggshell, and swallowed. 'I hope there weren't any shells in hers.'  
  
"Oh you know, it's not so hard. If I can handle multi-million dollar accounts everyday, I sure as hell can make an omelet," he replied airily. Serena smiled in reply. "So what are your plans for today?"  
  
"I was thinking of just kicking back here for a while. No doubt your mother has a few choice words to say to me about my little performance yesterday." Darien could tell from the way that she bit the corner of her lip and stared blankly at the door, almost as if she was daring Candace herself to walk into her room and chew her out, that she was nervous. And rightly so. Darien had no idea how his mother would react to everything that happened yesterday-from Serena's past being dredged up to Melvin's refusal to hand Isabella over to anyone unless Serena herself okayed it.   
  
From the way Candace had been acting towards Serena, Darien couldn't tell whether she would feel as remorseful as he did, or even more vengeful in light of the sordid details about her ex-boyfriends and numerous one night stands, fueling Candace's accusations. For Serena's sake, Darien fervently hoped that his mother had reconsidered her stand on Serena and follow his example by apologizing profusely.   
  
Darien stroked the back of her hand gently. "Don't worry Sere," he comforted, "I'm sure that mom feels horrible about how we treated you. I know I do."  
  
Serena lifted her head to look at him pleadingly. "But you're not just feeling sorry for me, are you?" Darien felt a tug on his heart when he saw her eyes welling up with tears.  
  
"No, Sere. I've felt this way for a long time now." He jumped out of his chair and sat down beside her on the bed, gently putting an arm around her shoulders. "I'm so sorry that I waited this long to tell you." Serena wiped away the last of her tears and sighed.  
  
"I just don't want anyone feeling sorry for me. When I look into a person's eyes, I want to see him looking back at me with interest, not pity. I want your mother to apologize to me genuinely, not because she felt guilty about me being molested." She felt Darien flinch against her. "It's ok to talk about it, you know. I was molested. It wasn't my fault and I didn't ask for it. I see that now, but only after so many years of therapy and having a wonderful support system in my family and friends. I don't want you to feel sorry for me because there is nothing to feel sorry about. I survived."  
  
"Yes you did." If Darien didn't admire her much before, he certainly did now. "But don't think for a moment that I pity you. Yes, I feel sorry that you had to go through such a terrible ordeal but if you see anything in my eyes, just know that it's awe. I'm in awe of you-among other things-and I can't help but be amazed that you were able to survive those years to become the wonderful woman you are today. Whenever I look at you I think, 'I hope Isabella grows up to be a woman just like her mother-a woman who doesn't let life's downs sour her on life itself.' Serena, there are no words to describe how happy I am that you are Isabella's mother." Serena blushed and mumbled a shy thank-you. Darien gave her shoulder one last squeeze and went back to his chair.   
  
They continued eating their breakfast together in a quiet peace, which was soon broken by Isabella's babbling over the monitor. They turned to each other and smiled. "Looks like our little princess is finally awake," Serena said. "Doesn't she sound like she's humming or something?"  
  
"What do you mean? She can't even talk yet," Darien said. Isabella gurgled in reply and he chuckled.  
  
"Can't you hear it? You may not think she's really humming but her 'words' are flowing together as if she were. Just listen," she urged. Darien grabbed the baby monitor and held it closer to his ear. Serena watched as a delighted smile worked its way across Darien's face. He stared at the baby monitor as if he was staring at Isabella directly.   
  
"It sounds like she's humming her own little song. I can't believe this!" Darien's eyes twinkled and he held the monitor to Serena as if he was the one who had discovered it. "My baby's gonna be star."  
  
Serena chuckled at the proud father's antics. "Let's not go too far just yet. I admit there's a certain lyrical quality to her babbling but as for talent-that remains to be seen, especially since she's part Mathis. The Mathises aren't exactly known for their singing abilities," she joked. "In fact, it seems that I'm the only one with a halfway decent voice in the family, and that's only because the acoustics in the washroom are great. My voice bounces off the tiles while the water muffles out the actual sound. Sammy claims that I sing like a cat being skinned alive, although his voice doesn't sound any better. He used to have a passable voice too, until puberty decided to hit during a church choir practice. He's never been the same since."  
  
Darien laughed at her long-winded story. This was the Serena he had fallen in love with more than a year ago. It felt good to hear one of her stories again and to hear it told with such gusto. "Well I must confess that I'm not any better. I learned my lesson after Drew and the guys dragged me to a karaoke bar and forced me to sing 'The Macarena.' I stunk so badly that Chad led the chorus of boos from the audience." He smiled fondly at Serena who was laughing so hard she couldn't breathe.  
  
"What made you decide to sing that song?" she asked when she finally calmed down. Darien shrugged sheepishly and blushed wildly.  
  
"I told them it would be funny if we all went up there and did the actions. I meant it as a joke but Chad had already requested the song before I could say anything. They assured me that they would be up there with me but as soon as the song started, those bastards snuck offstage and back to our table. I could hardly keep up with the song cuz it was in Spanish and it was going so fast. When I turned around, going through the stupid dance like the idiot I am, I noticed I was the only one left up there. Then I heard Chad start booing and it went straight to hell after that."  
  
Serena laughed and soon Darien joined her when he heard Isabella start laughing for no apparent reason, as she was alone in her nursery. "C'mon, let's go see what she's laughing about," Serena said, jumping up and tugging on Darien's hand. Darien allowed Serena to pull him towards the nursery.   
  
When they entered the nursery, they saw Isabella sitting up in her crib, clapping her hands and staring out the window. She was so entranced with whatever she was looking at that she didn't even notice her parents had not only come to visit her, but that they were holding hands. Isabella laughed again and clapped her hands excitedly. Darien and Serena exchanged looks of puzzlement and amusement.   
  
"What're you looking at, sweet pea?" Serena asked, lifting Isabella up from the crib and bringing her to the window. Isabella ignored the question-not that she understood what the giant with yellow string on her head said anyway-and made grasping motions towards the window. Darien followed behind them and saw that a robin had built its nest on Isabella's windowsill and was now in the process of regurgitating worm bits into the tiny beaks of four baby birds. Serena and Darien turned away, slightly disgusted by the sight especially after having just eaten eggs a few moments ago, but Isabella just giggled.   
  
"Funny what passes for entertainment these days, huh?" Darien asked Serena wryly as she took Isabella over to the changing table to check on the status of Isabella's diaper.   
  
"Looks like you had a bit of what those birds had, sweetie," Serena said, wrinkling her nose. To their amusement, Isabella mimicked her mother by scrunching up her face. "Believe me honey, it's not so great at this end either."  
  
Finally, when Isabella was changed into a fresh diaper and clean clothes, with her hair pulled back into two pigtails, Darien regretfully looked at his watch and whistled. "I'd better go or I'll be late. I'll see you later, princess," he said, kissing his daughter on the cheek. He turned to Serena and wondered what he should do. Finally, he decided on a friendly hug. Unfortunately, Serena had just decided on a friendly kiss on the cheek.   
  
Seeing Serena's intentions, Darien changed his trajectory and moved to give _her_ a kiss when Serena awkwardly stretched out her arms for a belated hug. They both started laughing at their actions. "What do _you_ want to do?" Darien asked. Serena titled her head to the side, pretending to give this decision some serious contemplation.  
  
"How bout both?" she suggested.   
  
Darien smiled warmly. "_That_ I can do." Serena wrapped her arms around Darien's waist and gave him a huge hug. Then, as she was pulling away, Darien tilted her chin up and gave her a light peck on the forehead, letting his lips just barely touch her skin before pulling away. She blushed furiously and grinned. "I'll see you later, Serena."  
  
Serena nodded and waved to Darien as he practically skipped out the door. She turned to Isabella, who was sitting up on the changing table, watching what was taking place between her parents curiously. "You know what, sweetie? Your father can be quite a charmer."  
  
Isabella nodded absently and went back to watching the birds. To her dismay, the giant picked her up and took her away from her little friends. So she did the only thing a baby could do: she opened her mouth and let loose the loudest cry she could manage.   
  
"It's ok honey. We'll see them again soon but first, I have to feed _my_ baby bird."   
  
Once they got to the kitchen, Serena plopped Isabella down into the high chair and went to the cupboard to search for the baby food. She saw Lita cleaning up after cooking breakfast, looking a bit nervous, but she ignored her as usual and focused on the task of feeding her daughter. She grabbed two little jars and brought them back to Isabella for inspection.   
  
"I have mashed carrots and strained peas. Of these two, which one sounds less disgusting and therefore somewhat edible?" Isabella scrunched her nose up. "I know they're not the best sounding meals in the world, but they're a whole lot better than the worm those little birdies had for breakfast. Tell you what, why don't we try the mashed carrots now and then we'll try the peas for lunch?"  
  
Serena opened the jar and poured some out onto Isabella's serving dish. "Here comes the birdie," she sang, trying to coax the baby to open her mouth. Isabella, being a veteran in this little game they played every morning, opened her mouth obediently to let the spoon in, before promptly spitting out its contents as soon as it touched her tongue. She smiled a toothless smile at her mother who could only smile back lovingly. "C'mon sweetie. Eat this for mommy. That's a good girl."  
  
This went on for another fifteen minutes until Isabella just wouldn't swallow any more food. Happy that her baby had eaten as much as possible, Serena began the process of cleaning up first Isabella, then everything else that was spattered with orange blobs of mashed-up carrots, namely the high chair and the floor. Just as she was about to wash the little plastic dish and matching spoon, she saw Lita's reflection hovering behind her in the window. Startled, she dropped the dish in the sink and gasped.  
  
"Lita! You scared me to death!"  
  
Lita's face turned pink and she looked down on the floor, avoiding Serena's eyes. "I'm sorry Serena," she mumbled.  
  
Serena shrugged and turned on the faucet. "That's ok. I shouldn't have been so jumpy."  
  
"Er, that's not what I meant. I mean that I'm sorry for the way I've been treating you."  
  
Serena sighed and turned off the faucet. She wiped her hands on a dishtowel and faced Lita, who was still looking at the floor with keen interest and wrenching her hands. "You have nothing to feel sorry for. You and the others were just doing what you thought was right. I understand. I thought that taking Isabella away from her father was the right thing to do too."  
  
Lita lifted her head and gazed at Isabella, who was happily playing with the little blonde plush doll that she constantly had by her side. One time, Serena forgot 'Loopy'-so named for the two braided loops of blonde hair on either side of her head-at Amy's and had to go back there when Isabella wouldn't stop crying a few hours later at bed time. When asked about the origin of the doll, Serena said that Loopy had once belonged to her as a child and had been a present from her mother on her third birthday.   
  
"It's not okay, Serena. We treated you like crap just because we were afraid to stand up to Mrs. Shields like Melvin and Alan. Then, when we heard that you were, you know, molested..."  
  
Serena raised her eyebrow and continued to wash the dishes, including the ones that were already in the sink before she got there. "So that's it. You heard what kind of skeletons are living in my closet and you felt guilty. Don't worry about it; I'm used to it."  
  
"No, you've got it all wrong, Serena! I'm really sorry about how I've been giving you the cold shoulder lately. I'm not apologizing just because we found out about your past, I'm apologizing because I truly feel sorry for alienating you just when you needed to have as much support as you could get. Can you ever forgive me, Serena?" she asked.  
  
"Of course I can but it won't be easy to forget everything that's happened. But I know that one day, we'll be able to go back to the friends we used to be," Serena replied. Lita nodded her head and smiled.  
  
"Thanks Serena. I'd like that very much." Lita happened to catch the time on Serena's watch. "Well if you'll excuse me, I have to get to the market before all the fresh fruit is gone. It's strawberry day, you know." With that, Lita took leave and walked out of the kitchen, glad to have made her peace with Serena. She hadn't been able to sleep a wink all night, hounded by the thoughts that plagued her mind about Serena. She was finally able to fall asleep after having resolved to herself that she would apologize to Serena the next day.  
  
When Serena had washed the last dish, she dried her hands on the towel and lifted Isabella up from her high chair, causing her to drop Loopy on the floor. Isabella whimpered and leaned over dangerously in Serena's arms in an effort to pick up the fallen doll. Serena jerked her arms up when she felt Isabella slipping from her grasp.  
  
"Careful baby. Let mommy pick Loopy up for you." She bent down with her knees, her heart still pounding from her little scare, and scooped Loopy up in her hand. Isabella cooed joyfully at being reunited with Loopy and gave Serena a kiss, albeit a wet one.   
  
Serena wiped her spit-covered cheek on her shoulder and kissed Isabella back on her silky cheek. "I'm glad that in a family that can afford to give you heirloom jewellery, hi-tech toys that most likely use uranium instead of the standard AA battery, and practically everything under the sun, you can still appreciate a simple plush doll that's twenty-five years old." She got a gurgle in reply.  
  
Serena carried Isabella to her room and set her down in the little playpen she had set up in the corner before setting to the task of cleaning her already immaculate room. She made the bed and dusted the furniture, contemplating whether to vacuum the floor or not before remembering that she had already done so yesterday. She glanced at the digital clock beside her bed and noted that she had only been cleaning for fifteen minutes.  
  
She stood in the middle of the room, hands on her hips, and set her sights on the little girl in the playpen who was staring at her intently. "Well honey, it seems that mommy's done cleaning her room and it's not even ten o'clock yet. Now what do we do?"  
  
As if in answer to her rhetorical question, there was a soft knocking at the door. 'Wow,' Serena thought. Getting an idea, she turned her face to the ceiling and clasped her hands in front of her. "I want a million dollars." She waited for a second and was almost disappointed when the knock was heard again, only this time louder. Serena raised her eyebrows and gaped at Isabella, who laughed and smacked her face with her hands.  
  
She opened the door and struggled to keep the crestfallen look off her face at the sight of Candace on the other side. 'Well she does have a million dollars. Hell, she's got several million dollars. Who says God doesn't have a sense of humour?'   
  
"Serena, may I come in?" Candace asked after standing in the hallway for a moment while Serena just stared at her blankly.   
  
Serena felt her stomach twisting into knots and she was sure that the blood drained away from her face. She nodded her head lightly and backed away from the door to let Candace pass. 'After all, this _is_ her house.'  
  
Candace could sense the hesitancy in Serena's actions and was reminded of all that went on the day before. She walked into the room that she was sure had been Serena's refuge when things had gotten too hard for her living in her home.   
  
Up to now, the only time she had been in Serena's room was the day before she arrived with Isabella, supervising the hasty redecoration of the room. Before she had learned of Serena's pregnancy, this room had been one of her more luxurious guest rooms. Relying on her own judgment to redecorate this room and the room adjoining it, she undertook the supervision of the renovation. The wall colour remained the same, but gone were the damask curtains, the numerous silk throw pillows piled high on the bed and the beautiful O'Keefe watercolours hanging on the walls. At the time of the renovation, she had convinced herself that a busy mother like Serena would have no need for such luxuries and would much prefer to be in surroundings that would be quite similar, she imagined, to her own home in Toronto. So she had everything removed and put in a storage closet somewhere in the mansion to be left with a blank slate of a room she was sure Serena would've preferred.   
  
Now, as she stood in the room, she realized that she had done a great disservice to Serena by making her feel out of place in such a sparse room in comparison to the other tastefully decorated rooms in the mansion. Somehow though, the room had a different air to it, almost as if it had been infused with a feeling of quiet intimacy that had been lacking when she was through gutting it to its bare walls. There were pictures in simple black frames of people she identified as Ilene and Sammy, a woman who resembled Serena and her mother so closely that she assumed they were related, Amy and her husband Zach, a woman with long black hair that she didn't recognize holding up a baby and standing beside a blond man whom she surmised to be her husband. And of course, there were pictures of Isabella strewn throughout the room in various stages of her development. There were touches of Serena all over the once bare room that she wondered if she really had done a disservice after all.   
  
"Mrs. Shields?" Candace snapped to attention upon hearing Serena's apprehensive voice, and realized that she had been standing still for quite a while now.   
  
"Oh yes. Sorry about that. May I sit down?" Serena gestured to the armchair that Darien had rocked her to sleep in and pulled another chair closer to it in order to sit down herself. Off in the corner, Isabella watched curiously from her playpen, almost as if knowing that something important was about to transpire.  
  
"How may I help you, Mrs. Shields?" Serena asked, trying to put forth more authority into her voice and failing miserably.   
  
"I just wanted to talk about what happened last night." Candace saw Serena's lips press together in a tight line and her back stiffen. "I just came here to apologize to you and I hope that we can regain the friendship we lost."  
  
Serena licked her lips before speaking. "No offense Mrs. Shields, but if this sudden apology is due to what you heard about my past, then I have no interest in hearing it. I will not be pitied."  
  
Candace shook her head firmly. "No, no! That's not what I meant. Yes, it has something to do with that, but it's not what you think. I'm sorry that I had to make your life harder by alienating you in this house and practically forcing the staff to do so as well."  
  
Candace paused for a moment, trying to read Serena's expression. She was sitting back in her chair with her arms folded in a defensive manner across her chest. Her face was blank, making it impossible for Candace to determine what exactly was going through her mind. "I want to apologize for my behaviour and tell you that I've felt terrible about it for so long but was too proud to do something about it. It was easier to blame you than to find fault with my own son. I'm sure that as a mother yourself, you think your child is perfect in every way. Well, that's how I felt about Darien. I wanted to believe your selfishness prompted you to take Isabella away from us. I didn't want to believe that my son had anything to do with this predicament you were in and so I chose to ignore his part in it. I truly am sorry."   
  
Serena studied Candace's bowed head and slumped shoulders thoughtfully before determining that her words were genuine. "Thank you for the apology, Mrs. Shields. I appreciate it, but like I told Darien and Lita, it will take time for me to forget what I've gone through in your home and to rebuild our old relationships again. I'm just not ready to dismiss all the heartache I've been through just because you've had a sudden change of heart. I'm sorry too, for taking Isabella from you all but I did what I thought was best for my daughter and for myself. It hurt very much to have this entire house turned against me with the exception of three people and it hurt even more to see you spearheading the campaign. I thought of you as a good friend, one whom I could turn to for help or advice now that my mother is gone and my aunt is so far away from me. I didn't think you were the kind of person who made judgments before getting all the facts."  
  
Candace smiled wanly. "Well, to be fair, you didn't exactly divulge all those facts beforehand," she said a little too sweetly.   
  
Serena ground her teeth in an effort to keep the flip remark that was dancing on her tongue from escaping and making her situation worse. "I'm sorry about that, Mrs. Shields," she said with as much syrup in her voice as she could muster, "but I was more concerned with self-preservation than I was with your lack of information."  
  
The sparks that flew between the two women were to make one's hair stand on end. Finally, Serena sighed tiredly and broke off the staring contest. "Look Mrs. Shields. We've all made mistakes when it came to Isabella and I'll be the first to admit that I'm one of them. All this blame that we're throwing at each other is getting us nowhere and is just going to make it harder for Isabella when she grows older. Can't we just call a truce or something?"  
  
Candace nodded her head and gave her a tiny-albeit tight-smile. "Yes, a truce is a great idea." She offered her hand to Serena who shook it lightly. "For starters, why don't you call me Candace again?"  
  
"Uh sure...Candace." Serena had a feeling that this 'truce' would be harder than she thought. She still harboured feelings of resentment towards Candace and actually wasn't sure if she really wanted to patch things up with the woman who made her life miserable for the past few months. Still, a truce would be beneficial for her daughter in the long run. And if she was willing to become friends with Darien, who played a big part in her misery, why _not_ form a truce with his mother?   
  
"It's going to take some time, isn't it Candace?" she asked softly.  
  
Candace recognized this fact and agreed silently. Then, she stood up and prepared to leave the room, but first, stopped by the playpen to bid her granddaughter goodbye. She turned to Serena as a thought entered her mind just as she was about to open the door. "Not to pry or anything, but where do you and Darien stand?"  
  
Serena's face flushed as she thought about waking up in his arms the night before and the breakfast they shared this morning. "We're just friends," she mumbled.   
  
"'Just' friends? He loves you Serena..."  
  
"Yes, just friends. I know that he loves me, but I'm just not sure I'm ready for anything more than that. He understands and is willing to wait." Candace stepped out into the hallway and turned to Serena again.  
  
"Just don't make him wait too long, Serena. He's waited more than a year to be a part of your life, and your daughter's, don't make him wait some more." With that, Candace started down the hall, leaving Serena alone in her doorway, hopefully considering her words.  
  
Serena entered her room and shut the door. She thought about Darien and how long he waited to be part of her family with Isabella. 'How much longer is Darien willing to wait for me?' she wondered. 'What happens if he can't wait any longer? Will I be happier to let him go now, so that he can find the happiness he's been waiting for with someone else? I'm so confused...'  
  
She went to the playpen and picked Isabella up, cuddling her in her arms as she gazed out the window, watching the leaves fluttering in the early morning breeze. As if sensing her mother's mental anguish, Isabella squirmed to get her attention, then flashed a wide toothless grin, blinking adorably as only babies know how to do and tried to stuff her tiny fist in her mouth. Serena laughed, releasing all the tension that had built up since she woke up this morning, and kissed Isabella's cheeks until she squealed.   
  
Once they sobered up, Serena once again stared out the window and wished for simpler times when she and Darien were happy. 'I think the most important question is, would _I_ be happy if he found love with another woman?' Unknowingly, a tear slipped out of her eye and landed on Isabella's nose, causing the slightly affronted baby to utter a string of nonsensical babbles. Serena kissed her head absentmindedly, taking the time to softly say a quick, "sorry baby," before lapsing back into her private thoughts.  
  
"Oh mom, I wish you were still here with us. I really need your advice."  
  
*************************  
  
  
  
Early that evening, Serena strapped Isabella to her stroller and was preparing to take her on a walk around the gardens when she heard someone call her name. She turned around and saw Walter dashing through the French doors and onto the deck where they were waiting.   
  
"Phew girlie, I thought you'd leave without me!" Walter bent over at the waist and placed his hands on his knees, trying to catch his breath. Serena reached out and gave him a few whacks on the back, trying to keep the smile off her face.  
  
"I'm fine now, girlie. I'm out of breath, not choking, so you can stop with the hitting." Walter stood up to full height and smiled when he saw Isabella in her stroller, a bucket hat squashing her curls and star-shaped yellow sunglasses over her little face. Upon seeing her grandfather, she smiled widely and clapped her hands. He kissed her upturned face and patted her on the head fondly.  
  
"What can I do for you, Walter?" Serena asked. Walter started making funny faces at Isabella, making her shriek with glee.  
  
"Where're you two headed?" he asked, not taking his eyes away from his granddaughter.  
  
"I was just taking Isabella for a tour of the rose garden, then maybe I'll bring her to the park and let her play on the swings. She's been cooped up all week," she explained.  
  
"Mind if I tag along?"   
  
"No problem. Can you help me get the stroller down the steps?" Walter nodded and lifted the bottom end as Serena held onto the handles. Together, they lifted Isabella like a queen on a covered chaise. They placed her down gently and proceeded on their walk toward the gardens.  
  
"I sure am glad I got this stroller," Serena said, gesturing to the big, all-terrain rubber wheels propelling the stroller forth on the thick carpet of grass.  
  
Walter looked at them thoughtfully and nodded his head. "Yes, it's kind of like the SUV of strollers, huh?" he joked.  
  
"More like monster trucks." They chuckled at their little joke and laughed even harder when Isabella joined in when she felt left out of the loop. They walked around the garden in silence, with Walter looking like he had something to say but didn't know how to say it and Serena pointing out the various flowers to her daughter, who was quite impressed at the array of colour spread out before her, all the while knowing that Walter had something on his mind and she had a feeling she knew what it was.  
  
"Is there something you wanted to talk about, Walter?" she asked wryly. Walter practically sighed with relief, as he had been wondering how to broach such a difficult topic with her.  
  
"Uh, that is...I just, hmm..." Walter stammered. Serena hid a grin and looked into his eyes.  
  
"Is this about last night?" she deadpanned.  
  
Walter nodded. "Why didn't you ever tell me about that?"  
  
Serena shrugged and looked away. "No offense Walter, but I hardly knew you when I came here to live the first time."  
  
"What about now? I thought we had become friends," the injured tone in his   
  
voice made Serena inwardly cringe with guilt.  
  
"Of course we're friends but it's just something that I wanted to keep to myself. I don't go around telling everyone I meet that I was molested at such a young age and then raped. Even my own mother didn't know until I attempted to commit suicide." Serena gripped the stroller handles tighter until her knuckles turned white.  
  
"Why did you keep it in for so long before you told her?" Walter asked. Serena stopped pushing the stroller when they got to a stone bench. She sat down and took Isabella out of the stroller, holding her in her lap.  
  
"I didn't want her to blame me for my father's death and I also didn't want her to blame herself for what happened to me. So I kept everything bottled up until I couldn't take it anymore and I thought that the only way to escape was to swallow a whole bottle of sleeping pills. I remember regretting what I had done after I took the medicine but it was too late and I started to black out. Luckily, my mom came home a few minutes later and found me. When I opened my eyes and saw the white ceiling of my hospital room, I thought that I was in heaven and started to cry," she said softly, almost as if she seeing it happen right in front of her and she was giving Walter a play-by-play account of it.  
  
"Why?" Walter whispered his question, not wanting to break Serena out of her trance-like mood.  
  
"Because I wanted to go back and apologize to my mother and brother for leaving them. I wanted to tell them what made me the kind of person they had to deal with after my father died. I didn't want them to think that they did something to cause my suicide." Serena wiped away the lone tear that coursed down her cheek and gave Walter a watery smile.  
  
He enveloped her and Isabella in a hug similar to the one he gave Serena the night before. "I'm so sorry that you had to go through that, girlie, but you're so strong. You're so strong," he murmured in her ear. "It's no wonder that you didn't want to stay here the year before. You got used to thinking that you could handle everything-including your pregnancy and motherhood-alone, that you didn't need anyone, most especially the one who hurt you in the first place. But I think you should know that Darien would never knowingly hurt you, girlie."  
  
Serena laughed against his shirt and peered up at him with a raised eyebrow.   
  
"Oh yeah?" she countered.  
  
"Ok, he did hurt you these past few months but look at it from his point of view. He lost a child that he never knew he had, then when he finally learns about her existence-not from her mother, by the way, but from his father-he sees this six-month old child that doesn't know who he is. He missed out on everything, including her birth. He was just trying to inflict the kind of pain your leaving did to him. Immature yes, but valid nonetheless." Serena sat up, her cheeks lightly stained with pink.  
  
"I messed up, didn't I?" she asked him meekly. He nodded soberly and her blush deepened. "But he messed up first!" she cried defensively.  
  
"That he did but he didn't do it on purpose. You knew you were pregnant with his child and left without telling him. That's not to say that I don't empathize with you for leaving but you've gotta see where Darien's coming from," Walter explained gently.  
  
"I do!" Serena cried despairingly. Isabella jumped at the sudden noise and patted her mother's neck. Serena smiled and set her back into the stroller where she could play with Loopy. "Don't you think I know that? I see it every time I look into his eyes-the hurt, the betrayal and the hate. I could stand everything else except for that!" she hissed.  
  
"He never hated you," Walter soothed.  
  
"Yes he did! Maybe he still does, I don't know..."  
  
Walter looked her in the eye. "Do you really believe that, after everything he's told you?" he asked sternly.  
  
Serena cowered under the intensity of his gaze and shook her head. "No...but he should. I've done a terrible thing to him and I can't believe he forgave me for it."  
  
Walter rolled his eyes at the woman beside him. "Face it girlie, you two are made for each other. Speaking of which, where are you two now?"  
  
"We're not anywhere. We're just friends," she said firmly. Walter raised his eyebrow at her.  
  
"Friends who happen to have a daughter together. You know he loves you, right?" Serena nodded silently. "He was absolutely miserable when you left. I don't think he's ever gone out with a single woman in that time and for Darien, that's a record." Serena laughed lightly.  
  
"You don't know that, Walter..."  
  
"And here I thought you knew me so well. Don't you know that I know everything?" he asked loftily. Serena just shook her head disbelievingly and stood up.   
  
"We're just friends, Walter. I'm not ready to get into a romantic relationship with Darien, especially since we never had one before I left."  
  
Walter stood up himself, albeit more slowly, and eased the kinks in his joints. "But you _are_ open to them, right? Eventually, you'll be ready?" He heard his knee crack and groaned. "You are so lucky to be still so young."  
  
"I don't know if I'll ever be ready, Walter. I'm not holding Darien to any promises. We're just friends," she repeated firmly. "Just friends."  
  
"Just friends...for now," Walter added. Serena rolled her eyes and walked off, leaving him standing by the bench. He glanced at his watch and realized that Darien should be home in about ten minutes. If he timed this right, he could....  
  
"I'm sorry, what was that girlie?" he asked when he heard Serena's voice calling his name repeatedly.  
  
"I asked you if you wanted to go to the park with us."  
  
"Oh! Sure! Well then, let's go." Serena threw him an odd look, which he pretended to not notice, and followed her in the direction that would lead them to the front of the house.   
  
As they walked, Walter kept glancing at his watch to the point where it was starting to bother Serena. "Is there something I'm keeping you from, Walter?" she asked a little irritably.   
  
Walter swallowed nervously and saw there were only about two minutes left before Darien usually got home. "Uh, well...there's this thing on TV with that crazy Australian man who likes to catch crocodiles and snakes with his wife..." he replied lamely.  
  
"Go," she said resignedly and smiled when his face lit up almost triumphantly. She shook her head fondly at the old man, who was rushing up the front steps, eager to watch his favourite program.   
  
She had just made her way to the end of the driveway when a sleek, red convertible pulled in, its driver being none other than Darien. 'Crocodile Hunter, my ass,' Serena thought. 'So that was his little game.' Serena rolled her eyes at the transparency of Walter's plan.  
  
"Hey ladies," Darien said, peering at them over his sunglasses, "where ya headed?"  
  
"To the park, right sweetie?" Isabella swung her legs happily in reply. Serena hesitated. "Er...wanna come?" she asked tentatively. Darien's face lit up and he unbuckled his seatbelt quickly, hopping out of his car with practiced ease.  
  
He joined them on the sidewalk and they began to head for the park, only four blocks away. Isabella was keeping a tight grip on Loopy; occasionally letting loose a laugh or a shriek when something struck her funny. Darien smiled indulgently at her and turned to Serena. "She really likes that doll, huh?"  
  
"I guess so," she replied lightly. "I've had that doll since I was three and I took her everywhere with me. My father named her Loopy because of her hair and the name just stuck. Of course, Sammy used to tease me mercilessly about her but when I started to tease him back about Mr. Hugginkiss, his favourite stuffed bear, I noticed a strange silence coming from him. From then on, all I had to do was threaten to tell his friends about Mr. Hugginkiss and he would be begging me to stop." They shared a laugh before another bout of silence settled over them. Thankfully, they were already at the park.  
  
"So, where to?" Darien asked, surveying the park with the air of an explorer in the New World. Serena pointed to the playground, which featured rides for not only the older children, but also the smaller ones. Serena pushed the stroller along the sand until they reached the baby swings.  
  
"You want to ride this, honey?" she asked. Isabella's eyes grew wide as she took in the sight of the swings, her favourite feature in the playground. Grinning at the look on her face, Darien lifted Isabella and placed her gently in the swing, but not before lifting her high above his head and bringing her down quickly, causing her to emit a series of high pitched squeals that made their ears hurt, in turn earning Darien a piercing glare from Serena and a stern lecture on the dangers of doing such things.   
  
"Yes, mom," Darien replied unrepentantly. Serena rolled her eyes and began pushing Isabella gently. When Isabella got bored with the swings after a few minutes, Serena and Darien took her to the tiny slide. She giggled uncontrollably when her father went down the slide with her cradled on his lap and her mother catching them at the end. Her mom and dad took turns going down the slide with her until they protested that they were too tired to go on any more. She was about to cry when she noticed the teeter-totter and immediately turned in its direction, only to be reigned in by her mother.  
  
"Where do you want to go, sweet pea?" Serena turned around and saw the teeter-totter that her fickle daughter wanted to try next. Isabella could do nothing but stare at it open-mouthed. Serena laughed at the seeming awe on her face and grinned at Darien. "C'mon _daddy_, she wants to go on the teeter-totter."  
  
Darien, who had been sitting on the bottom of the slide, pretended to groan and let himself be hauled to his feet by Serena. He followed them to the teeter-totter with a stupid grin on his face and watched as Serena and Isabella sat down on the lower end, waiting for him to get on. Apparently, he was taking too long in getting over there, because Isabella shrieked with impatience. Darien looked at her with a raised eyebrow.  
  
"Now listen here, young lady. Your old man isn't as young as he used to be so you have to learn to take it easy on him, ok?" he asked, with a mock sternness to his voice and tapped her nose lightly for emphasis. He got a raspberry in response.  
  
He went to his end of the teeter-totter, muttering to himself about disrespectful kids these days and got on, raising Serena and Isabella all the way to the top. He grinned as he watched Serena squirming in her seat, holding onto Isabella tightly with one hand and the handlebar with the other, trying to bring their end down.   
  
"Darien!" she cried, dangling her legs in frustration. Isabella offered her own squeak of protest. "I can't get down! You're too heavy!"  
  
Darien laughed playfully and slowly got up to bring them down. Serena hopped off when she got to the ground, letting Darien get smacked in the rear end by the teeter-totter. "Hey!" he protested, throwing Serena a playful grin, who gave him one in return.   
  
"I have to check on Isabella's diaper. I'm feeling something kinda questionable in this little girl's tushie." They pushed the stroller to a nearby bench; Darien grabbing the diaper bag and Serena spreading a blanket out before laying her daughter upon it. Serena lifted Isabella's dress and peered into her diaper, before drawing back with a sour look on her face.  
  
Isabella giggled at the giant's silliness.  
  
Darien passed Serena a clean diaper and a wipe, glad that he wasn't on the receiving end. In the time that Isabella had come into his life, he had only changed handful of diapers, all of which were not as...dirty, as the ones Serena always changed. He snapped back to attention when Serena began waving the foul-smelling diaper in his face.  
  
"Oi! That smells like a compost heap! What'd you feed her today?" he asked, pinching his nose delicately with his thumb and forefinger, much to Serena's amusement. She waved the diaper pointedly in his face until he finally snatched it from her and threw it into the nearest garbage can. Unfortunately, he missed, causing the diaper to open, revealing its soiled contents for the world to see. He cursed his dumb luck and turned away from the garbage can with the full intention of ignoring it until it 'went away'.  
  
"Darien!"  
  
He winced at the force Serena put in her voice. He looked at her meekly and rose from the bench to pick up the diaper gingerly from the ground and hurriedly-but carefully-tossed it into the garbage can. Darien breathed a sigh of relief when it went in without a hitch.   
  
He returned to the bench to face a smug-looking Serena, who had by that time, changed Isabella into a fresh diaper and was busy strapping her in the stroller.   
  
"I take it by the look on your face that you enjoyed that?" he drawled.  
  
"You bet. You know, I don't think I've ever seen you change a diaper before. It's a miracle you managed to get away with it for this long," Serena commented. Darien's face paled slightly as he saw his days of pawning Isabella off to his mother or one of the maids whenever she needed a new diaper, coming to an end.   
  
"I've changed some diapers..."  
  
Serena cocked an eyebrow and crossed her arms over her chest, tapping her foot on the ground. "Oh yeah?" she challenged.  
  
"Well, maybe not as many as you..."   
  
"You got that right. I've spoiled you long enough; next time Isabella needs a diaper change, you're doing it, got that?" she asked-no, commanded-authoritatively.  
  
Darien nodded his head submissively and started pushing the stroller back home. Serena fairly skipped beside him, happy that she was able to once again able to joke around with Darien. Once they got to the house, Serena lifted Isabella out of her stroller and was preparing to take her upstairs when Darien stopped her.   
  
"What is it, Darien?" she asked, heading back down the stairs.  
  
"Where are you going? It's time for dinner," he said. Serena's face flushed and she looked down at the floor.  
  
"I was just going to get a bite to eat later when everybody's finished," she softly replied, not looking up. Darien tilted her chin upwards and forced her to look into his eyes.  
  
"Serena, I'd really like it if you and Isabella could join us for dinner tonight," he said. "C'mon Serena, how can we be a family if we keep avoiding this stuff?" Serena tried to look away, but he kept his gentle hold of her.   
  
"I don't know, Darien..."  
  
"Trust me, Serena," he replied softly. She looked into his eyes, shining with genuine concern...and love? Finally, she nodded and allowed herself to be led by Darien, who had taken Isabella from her arms, to the dining room. She followed them nervously, biting her lip all the way.   
  
At the dining room door, Darien paused. "You ready?" He pushed open the door when she nodded. Serena hadn't stepped foot in this room ever since her first evening back and Candace bared her claws. She peered into the room from behind Darien and saw that Candace and Walter were already seated. They looked up expectantly when the door opened, and smiled-Walter's was a huge grin and Candace's a wary but seemingly sincere one.  
  
"Oh good, you're back. We've been waiting for you three. Have a seat," Candace said, looking at Serena and motioning for her to sit down. Serena took a deep breath and gave her a tiny smile before sitting.   
  
"Hi..."  
  
*****************************  
  
It was a week later and things were looking up for Serena. She had eaten all her meals with the Shields', got along better with the staff and was well on her way to re-forging her old friendship with Darien, which was what led her to make a decision to call her Aunt Celeste that day.  
  
"Hello," Celeste said as she answered the phone.  
  
Serena smiled as she once again heard her that familiar voice. "Hi, remember me?"  
  
"Serena!" Celeste exclaimed. "How are you?"   
  
"I'm good. How're the wedding plans?" Serena was positive her aunt was grinning from ear to ear now that they were about to discuss her favourite subject.  
  
"I'm SOOO excited!" she squealed like the schoolgirl she felt she still was.   
  
"Wait till you hear where it's going to take place!"  
  
Celeste's excitement proved to be contagious for Serena felt herself leaning back on her bed and smiling into the phone. "Uh...I give up, where?"  
  
"Casa Loma!"  
  
Serena's eyes shot open and almost dropped the phone in her surprise. "No way! That place has, like, a six-month waiting list! How'd you manage to swing that?"  
  
Celeste laughed over the phone. "Robert's friend is the curator of the place so he helped 'bump' us up to Valentine's Day."  
  
"But...but, that's Valentine's Day. I'm sure that another couple had that day reserved beforehand," she protested.  
  
"Well...you see, his friend told the couple that Casa Loma had to be closed for renovations and gave it to us," Celeste replied in one breath.  
  
"Aunt Celeste! That's terrible! How could you do that to someone's wedding?" Serena cried. She could practically hear Celeste squirming with guilt.  
  
"Well, Robert's friend promised them that they could get married the week after, half off," she replied meekly. "Anyway, this is _my_ wedding and I've been waiting all my life for this moment. They said they were fine with it, so why should I feel guilty? I have a feeling that they're happier with the discount than they are about marrying each other. I caught the bride-to-be checking out Robert's friend."  
  
Serena laughed and they made small-talk for a while until Serena felt it was time to get to the point of her call. "Uh, Aunt Celeste, can I ask you a question about the wedding?"   
  
"Sure sweetie, what is it?"  
  
"Uh...am I allowed to bring someone?"  
  
"You'd better bring Isabella with you or else don't even bother coming back! I've missed my little angel ever since you two left," Celeste said.  
  
"Er...of course I'm bringing the baby. I just meant, could I _bring_ someone?" Serena's face turned bright red all of a sudden and she put a hand to her cheek in an effort to stop it.   
  
"Ohh, you wanted to bring a date?" Serena turned redder.  
  
"Well, no...it's not a date. I mean, he doesn't even know about the wedding yet but I just wanted to know in advance if I could bring someone before I even asked him."  
  
"Well, who is it?"  
  
Serena bit her lip nervously before answering. "Darien," she whispered, shutting her eyes quickly and holding the phone away from her ear, expecting her aunt to blow up at her.  
  
"Sure you can bring him." Serena opened one eye in shock and then the other. She put the phone back to her ear and made sure she heard right.  
  
"Aunt Celeste?"  
  
"Yes Serena?"  
  
"Are you alright?"  
  
"Of course I am dear. Actually, I was expecting you to want to invite him so I gave him a spot at your table." Serena stifled a gasp of surprise. "Now, may I ask _you_ a question?"  
  
"S-sure."  
  
"Why have you been lying to us about how you were being treated over there?" At this, Serena really did gasp.  
  
"What are you talking about, Aunt Celeste?" she asked, trying to play innocent.  
  
Celeste sighed over the phone. "There's no use hiding this from me. We-your brother, Raye and Justin and even Amy and Zach-all know what you've been going through in that house. Why haven't you told me this before, instead of feeding us all these lies?"  
  
Serena drew in a shaky breath. It was time to come clean. "I just didn't want to worry you needlessly. You've got a wedding to plan for, Sammy's got his career, Amy's got her new marriage and Raye's got her family. I didn't want to add my problems on top of yours."  
  
"Now listen here, Serena. Your troubles are our troubles too. We're all family here and we've gotta stick together. How's everything going now?"   
  
"Everything's better now-really. I'm not lying this time. Darien and I have become friends again, I'm getting along better with everyone and Candace and I have started a truce," she replied. "Darien and I have agreed to try to work at being a family with Isabella and that's why I've decided to bring him along with us for the wedding. Plus, Isabella would miss him terribly."  
  
"So are you going to get married?" Serena blushed again.  
  
"No, Aunt Celeste, we're just friends," she said. This was getting old. Suddenly, a thought struck her. "Hey, wait a minute. How did you find out?"  
  
Celeste chuckled. "How do you think? Darien himself called all of us and told us the truth. He confessed that he overheard you lying to us about your relationship with him and apologized for making you do that."  
  
Serena was shocked. "He-he did that?" she asked.   
  
"Yeah. You should've seen your brother when he got home from work. Apparently, Darien had called him up at the office and told him everything. Sammy was about ready to go over there himself to haul you _and_ Isabella back home but I somehow managed to talk him out of it. He really does love you, you know," she finished.  
  
"..." Serena was speechless. She couldn't find the words to express the shock she felt.  
  
"It takes a big man to realize when he's wrong and it takes an even bigger man to apologize for it. That night, Raye and her family, Sammy and I talked with Amy over the phone and decided that we wouldn't bring up the subject until we saw that you were ready," Celeste explained.  
  
"And you thought I was ready now," Serena concluded.  
  
"Well, yes. You wouldn't be inviting Darien along if you didn't at least want a friendship with him."  
  
"Thanks for telling me this, Aunt Celeste, but I've gotta go," she said, hanging up without another word. She stared blankly at the phone for a while before slipping into her most business-like pair of pants and a white Oxford shirt. Then she hurriedly went into Isabella's nursery and scooped her up.  
  
"C'mon sweet pea. We're gonna see daddy." Isabella beamed at the mention of her father and allowed her mother to put a white straw hat with a pink daisy on it and her yellow star sunglasses. "Let's go."  
  
************************  
  
Serena reached Darien's office building forty-five minutes later, after having borrowed a car from Darien's collection. 'Damn traffic' she thought, carrying Isabella into the elevator and pushing the number for Darien's floor, ignoring the curious looks she got from the other passengers. Isabella flashed them all winning smiles and blinked prettily, fluttering her impossibly long eyelashes. The other passengers, mostly secretaries and receptionists coming back from their early lunch breaks, ooh-ed and ahh-ed at the sight of the pretty little girl with curly black hair.  
  
Finally, the elevator stopped at Darien's floor and incidentally enough, all the women in the elevator got off with her. They rushed back to their desks, Serena thought, before their boss caught them away from their work. Serena walked boldly to the receptionist behind the desk, with Isabella in her arms, and waited until she finished her conversation over the phone headset. After a few minutes, the woman with long wavy brown hair and wire-rimmed glasses ended her conversation and turned to her with a look of thinly disguised disdain in her eyes.  
  
"May I help you, miss?" she asked, raising an eyebrow and giving Serena the once-over. Serena stood up straight, letting this rude woman look over her all she wanted.  
  
"Yes, I was wondering if I could speak with Mr. Darien Shields, please," she proclaimed with a regal air.  
  
"Appointment?"  
  
"Um, no I don't have an appointment but I'm sure if you just told him that a Serena Mathis wants to speak with him-"  
  
"I'm sorry but without an appointment, I can't let you see him. Mr. Shields is a _very_ busy man as you may know. He's meeting with some prospective clients as we speak," the receptionist replied, turning away from Serena and looking at the computer screen in front of her. To Serena's annoyance, she clicked an icon, opened a Solitaire game window and started playing.  
  
Serena bristled and shifted Isabella over to her hip. "Well then, I'll just sit here and wait," she said. At this, the woman turned away from her game and sighed in annoyance.   
  
"Look lady, I already told you, Mr. Shields can't see you without an appointment. He only sees _important_ people," she replied.  
  
Serena slammed her hand on her desk and leaned over her dangerously. "Just. Tell. Him. Serena. Mathis. Is. Here," she bit out, her patience running out.  
  
"If you don't leave now, I'm gonna call security on you." Seeing that Serena had sat herself down in one of the seats, the receptionist pressed a button and started talking softly into her headset. After a moment, she smiled triumphantly. "They're on their way."  
  
Serena shrugged flippantly and glared at her. "Bring them on."  
  
About a minute later, the elevator chime rang and the doors slid open, revealing two burly men in security guard uniforms. "Ma'am, I'm afraid we're going to have to ask you to leave," one of them said, gripping her by the elbow and trying to help her up.  
  
"If you just listen to me, I know Darien! I just want to speak with him!" Serena cried.  
  
"A lot of people want to see Mr. Shields but they book appointments first. Please come with us peacefully and no one gets hurt," the other one put in. Serena glared at them.  
  
"What're you expecting me to do? Gun you down? I have a _baby_ with me for God's sakes and if you lay one hand on her, I swear to God I'm gonna be your worse nightmare," Serena said emphatically.  
  
The men stiffened and put their hands to their holsters. "Is that a threat, ma'am?"  
  
Serena rolled her eyes and stared at them in disbelief. "What are you talking about? I only come to about a third of your body weight and you're about to draw your guns on me? Get a grip Butch Cassidy and the Sun-dunce Kid. I'm no more a threat to you than this baby is."  
  
"I'm afraid that you're going to have to come with us." The two men flanked her and grabbed her by the elbows.   
  
"Get your hands off me!" she yelled. "Why can't you just call Darien and ask him to straighten this out?" One of the men tightened his grip on her arm and she cried out in pain. "Stop it, you're hurting me!"  
  
"WHAT'S GOING ON HERE?" Darien's voice bounced off the marble floor, making it louder than it really was. Behind him, three Asian men in suits looked on curiously.  
  
"We've got the situation under control, Mr. Shields. She kept insisting that she knew you and wouldn't leave until we were called," the man who hurt Serena replied.  
  
Darien's eyes narrowed dangerously, making him look more intimidating than usual. The guards and the receptionist cowered in fear-maybe the girl _was_ telling the truth after all.  
  
"That's because I _do_ know her," he said in a low voice. The men on either side of Serena instantly let her go and began their apologies. Darien listened to none of it and went to Serena and his daughter. "Are you ok? Did they hurt you?" he asked worriedly. Then he began inspecting her arms, glaring at the guards when he spotted the makings of a nasty looking bruise in the shape of fingers.  
  
"I'm fine, Darien. It was all just a misunderstanding, that's all." To her surprise, and to the others watching, Darien breathed a sigh of relief and gave her a tender kiss on the forehead. Serena blushed but didn't pull away.  
  
"I'm glad." Then, Isabella cooed, getting Darien's attention. "How's daddy's little girl?" Taking Isabella from Serena, Darien raised her high over his head and blew on her stomach, much to her delight. "How's my little girl?"  
  
Behind them, they heard an audible gasp coming from the receptionist who sat at her desk, her face ashen. Darien turned to her and glowered. "Are you responsible for this Ms. Olinite*?"  
  
Ms. Olinite, better known to her friends and family as Kaye, nodded and gulped nervously. She turned to Serena with a look of panic on her face and tried to appeal to her sympathy. "I'm sorry, sir. I didn't know she was your daughter's nanny," she stammered. Any sympathy Serena had for her had gone out the window with her comment.   
  
Frustrated, Serena threw her hands up in the air and fumed. "Why does everybody think I'm the nanny?" She whirled around and faced Kaye. "Let me tell you something, Ms. 'He-only-sees-important-people,' I'm NOT his hired nanny, I'm the MOTHER of his child. If you had just done what I told you to do in the first place and called Darien for me, your ass would've been saved and this never would've happened!"  
  
Kaye paled as she realized her mistake. "I'm really sorry Ms.-"  
  
"Mathis," Serena snapped. Kaye nodded hurriedly.  
  
"Ms. Mathis. I didn't know who you were. We don't usually get unannounced visitors here and-"  
  
"Pack up your stuff. I want you gone by the end of the day," Darien cut in. Kaye nodded, blinking back her tears.  
  
Serena took in her distraught form and finally felt pity spark belatedly in her heart. "Darien, don't," she said wearily. "She didn't know who I was. She was just doing her job; they all were."  
  
Darien surveyed his three guilty employees with narrowed eyes. "Alright. You can stay, Ms. Olinite. You guys too. But I want you to memorize her face and know it well. Ms. Mathis is not to be harassed when she comes in this building. She is allowed to come and go as she pleases. If I am in a meeting or am otherwise busy, then you, Ms. Olinite, are to direct her to my office and tell her to wait there. If ANY of you touches my daughter or her mother ever again, your heads, as well as your jobs, will be mine, got that?"  
  
The three nodded their heads meekly and were dismissed by a wave of Darien's hand. He waited until the guards left and Kaye was behind her desk before he turned to Serena. "Are you sure you're ok?" he fussed. "They didn't hurt Isabella, did they?"  
  
Serena shook her head. "No, I made sure of that." Darien breathed a sigh of relief and kissed Isabella on her hand.  
  
"I'm glad. So, what brings you two by?" he asked.  
  
"I just wanted to have a talk. Are you free?"   
  
"Uh oh. Why do I get the feeling that I did something wrong?" Darien said worriedly. Serena smiled, reassuring him that wasn't the case and he felt the anxiety lift from his chest.  
  
"I just wanted to ask you about some things, that's all," she said. Before she could say anymore, the three men who were observing the previous display walked up to them.  
  
"Ah, Darien, you did not tell us that you were a family man," a man with brown hair slicked back into a ponytail that ended just below his shoulder. Serena noticed a slight resemblance between the three men, leading her to believe that they were somehow related.  
  
"Oh yes," Darien had almost forgotten about them. "Serena Mathis, meet Seiya Kou and his brothers Yaten and Taiki. Serena, the Kou brothers own the second largest audio equipment manufacturing company in Asia. I'm sure you've heard of StarLights Technology?" Serena nodded and smiled at the men politely. "And this gentlemen, is our daughter, Isabella." Darien showed her off proudly while Serena noticed that Kaye was watching them with keen interest from behind her file folder.   
  
The man with light brown hair streaked with gray-Yaten, she believed he was-stepped forward and smiled at Serena. "Yes, we are from Japan and are interested in developing a deal with Shields Financial. You are baby's mother?" he asked in halting English.  
  
"Yes I am. Are all of you married?" Serena took Isabella back from Darien and jiggled her a bit, producing a series of giggles from the child.  
  
"Ah yes, but they stay back in Japan. We are all going to Catalina Island this weekend to relax and how you say, hammer out deal?" spoke up the other brother, Taiki.   
  
"I've heard that's a wonderful place. I've always wanted to visit it myself for the day but I've never had the time," Serena said. "I'm sure you'll have a wonderful time."  
  
Seiya snapped his fingers excitedly. "Why you not come with us? We leave Friday morning, come back Sunday evening. What you say? You come?"  
  
"Uh, Darien?" she asked.   
  
Darien put his hands on her shoulders and bent his head so that he was staring directly into her eyes. "Only if you want to, Serena. No pressure here."  
  
"But what about your deal?" she asked.  
  
Darien shook his head dismissively. "The deal's pretty much done. We're just using it as an excuse to have a mini-vacation close to home. We're staying in Avalon, a tiny city on the island in a hotel. Us men will work out the deal for a few hours in the morning and adjourn for the day after lunch so we can go see the sights while it's still light out. So what do you think?"   
  
"Are you sure I won't be in the way?" she pressed.  
  
Darien shook his head. He could see the gears turning in her head, calculating her options. "We'll be done with business before you get too bored."  
  
"Ok! Sounds like fun. How will we get there?" she asked excitedly. She had always wanted to go visit the idyllic island that was only a few miles out to sea from LA but never had the time or the company.   
  
"We're taking my boat there," Darien replied. Serena's eyes shone with anticipation.   
  
"Cool!" she exclaimed. "I can't wait." The men laughed at her enthusiasm.  
  
"If you two will excuse us," Yaten said, "but we have other business to attend to. Gotta buy presents for our wives and children," he winked.   
  
"So, you wanna go to lunch or something?" Darien asked. Serena glanced at her watch just as her stomach growled, much to her embarrassment. "I take it that means yes." So hand in hand, Darien and Serena went to the bank of elevators, waiting patiently for one to take them down to the main floor. Once they were gone, Kaye dialed a number, tapping a red acrylic nail impatiently on her desk.  
  
"Good afternoon, Mr. Shields' office. How may I help you?"  
  
"Val! You'll never what I found out about our favourite bachelor!" Kaye exclaimed. "Hold on, let me put this on conferencing with Natalie..."  
  
****************************  
  
Darien squirmed uncomfortably in the hard plastic seat and scowled when a group of boys, ranging in ages between five and eight, came crashing through the doors from the play area, followed by two harried women, obviously their mothers. "Uh Serena? Are you sure this was where you wanted to go eat? We can still go to that little café I was telling you about..."  
  
"Oh Darien, Mc Donald's is fine. I've been hankering for a Big Mac for the longest time, and besides, I wanted to get the latest Disney toy for my-er, Isabella's-collection," Serena said, dipping a French fry into her barbecue sauce. Darien wrinkled his nose a little disdainfully and dipped his fry into a container of mayonnaise. "That's nasty, Darien."  
  
"Oh? And I suppose barbecue sauce is the accepted norm?" he teased. Serena stuck her tongue out at him and dipped another fry into her sauce just to spite him. "So what did you want to ask me about?"  
  
Serena wiped Isabella's sticky mouth before answering. "Why did you call my family and friends and tell them what happened?" she asked bluntly.  
  
Darien sucked in a breath. "I asked them not to say anything about that."  
  
"So..." she prompted.  
  
"I wanted to tell them that I was sorry for making you feel like you had to lie to them. I don't know...I guess it felt like the right thing to do. I wanted to start over with them because I know I didn't make a good impression the last time I saw them," Darien explained, feeling rather self-conscious.  
  
"Thank you, Darien. You don't know how much that meant to me," Serena whispered. "I'm so happy you made that first step in mending fences with my family. How did they take it?"  
  
"Sammy was understandably suspicious, as was Justin but Celeste, Amy and Raye were grudgingly forgiving," Darien answered. "Was there something else you wanted to discuss?"  
  
Serena smiled from ear to ear. "I just wanted to ask you if you wanted to come with me and Isabella to Toronto for Aunt Isabella's wedding in February. Please say you'll come with us," she pleaded.  
  
Darien bit his lip thoughtfully. "I don't know, Serena...what about your aunt?"  
  
"I've already cleared it with her this morning. She says that she was expecting me to ask her about you coming ever since she got your phone call." Serena paused to give Isabella another spoonful of her mashed bananas.  
  
"What about Sammy? I'm sure he won't be too thrilled to have me along," Darien replied. He took a sip of his Coke and tickled Isabella's bare feet as they dangled from the high chair.  
  
Serena rolled her eyes at the mention of her overprotective brother. "Let him be mad. It's my life and I get to choose who my friends are," she scoffed.   
  
"Please Darien? Her wedding is scheduled for Valentine's Day, but I have to be there at least a week before the big day to help with any last-minute preparations and to get my dress fitted. Then, after the wedding, we could stay another week and I could show you around town." She looked at him hopefully.  
  
Darien wrinkled his forehead as he tried to envision what his schedule would look like in February. "You're planning on leaving a week before Valentine's Day and staying there another week, right?" Seeing her nodding, he continued. "Well, I have a big meeting scheduled with some clients that took three months to plan the week before so how bout this; you and Isabella fly to Toronto the week before and I'll come join you two before the wedding?"  
  
Serena's eyes lit up. "Really? You'll come?" she asked. "Wait till you see where the wedding's gonna take place. It's a small castle built in the early nineteen hundreds by a man who wanted to give his bride a beautiful gift for their wedding. Unfortunately, she died during construction and he never had the heart to finish it after that. The castle went to ruins over the decades until a historical society or something like that, decided to restore it and turn it into a museum of their life and the period it was built. It's called Casa Loma and it's right in the middle of downtown Toronto," she said dreamily.  
  
Darien cocked an eyebrow. "Your aunt wants her wedding to take place in a museum?" he asked. Serena shot him a look of annoyance and continued.  
  
"It's not just a museum, Darien! The wedding will take place in the conservatory and the reception will be held in the ballroom, I think. I saw a wedding there on TV once and, while I thought the bride looked prettier than the groom, the place was absolutely gorgeous! I'm so glad that she managed to get that place because there's a long waiting list," she concluded at the same time as she stuffed the last bite of her burger into her mouth. She stared at the empty box her burger had come in thoughtfully. "Have you ever noticed that the layers in a Big Mac always shift so that the last bite is usually all bun or all meat? No matter how hard I try, it always ends up that way. I don't understand this phenomenon. They all start out on equal footing, then the middle bun starts to slide out and the rest goes to hell after that."  
  
"Focus Serena," Darien said jokingly and chuckled when she pouted at him. "So it's settled then. You'll come with me this weekend to Catalina and I'll come join you in Toronto in February." He extended his hand out as if to seal the deal.  
  
"It's a date," Serena said, taking his hand and shaking it firmly. Then she turned and spotted a familiar dark hair walk through the door. "Hey Trista, over here!" she called.  
  
Darien groaned inwardly as Trista turned her head to see who was calling her, the blood rushing from her face as she laid her eyes upon them. Serena was waving her over, oblivious to Trista's pale face and Darien's discomfort. As soon as Trista was close to the table, Serena jumped from her seat and enveloped her in a hug, which the other girl reluctantly returned.  
  
"How are you, Trista? I haven't seen you in a while but I heard that your career is doing great," Serena gushed. Trista nodded weakly.  
  
"Y-yes, I've just finished designing my latest collection a few weeks ago," she replied, carefully avoiding Serena's eyes. Suddenly, Isabella gurgled and banged her toy on the high chair tray. Serena's eyes lit up and Darien had to fight the groan working its way up his throat.  
  
"I'm sorry, honey! Trista, I'd like you to meet our daughter, Isabella." Darien doubted Trista's face could get any paler but it did at the mention of Isabella.  
  
"Y-your daughter?" she asked quietly. Serena nodded happily.  
  
"Yep-long story-but the short version is that she's Darien's and my baby." Trista stared at Isabella intently.  
  
"So you're married?" she asked. Serena had the grace to blush as she shook her head no. "H-how old?  
  
"She just turned nine months old," Serena said proudly, then launched into one of her 'You should see what my daughter did the other day' stories.   
  
Darien watched Trista's face as she realized that Serena had been pregnant the night of their encounter so long ago. She looked at him with a hurt expression and he nodded almost imperceptibly. Trista looked away and blinked back the tears.  
  
"I'm sorry, Serena," she said, interrupting Serena's speech about the cuteness of Isabella, "but I've gotta order now. My boyfriend's waiting for me in the car."  
  
Serena's eyes lit up. "Oh, what's his name?" she asked curiously.  
  
"Michael Rubeus," Trista replied monotonously. At this, Serena's eyes grew to resemble saucers.  
  
"_The_ Michael Rubeus? As in male supermodel Michael Rubeus?" she asked incredulously. She squealed as Trista nodded and pointed out the window to a car parked just outside. Sure enough, Michael Rubeus' trademark shock of red hair could be seen clearly through the windshield. Seeing that he had an audience, Michael waved weakly and turned away, pretending to be looking for something in the glove compartment. "Wow Trista, how'd you guys meet?"  
  
Trista looked more uncomfortable in Darien's presence. "He was one of my models in a fashion show," she mumbled. Then, she straightened up and forced a smile on her face. "I really have to go now, Serena. Nice seeing you again, you two. Bye Isabella," she said as she hastily retreated from them to line up at the counter.  
  
Serena looked at her strangely before sitting back down in her seat. "Is it just me or did she look like she was about to be shot in the head?" she asked Darien, who shrugged nonchalantly.  
  
"Who knows?" he asked, avoiding her stare. "You know how temperamental those fashion types can be." He reached over to tickle Isabella's neck. "So, how's your apple pie?"  
  
"Great!" Serena enthused, forgetting about Trista and her strange behaviour, as she took another bite. "You sure you don't want some?" she offered.  
  
"No thanks, I'm fine." Darien watched Trista rush out the door and jump into her car. "I'm definitely fine with what I've got."  
  
*************************  
  
It was Sunday morning-almost time for lunch-and Serena was waiting for Darien to come back from his meeting with the three brothers. Their weekend was coming to a close; they would have to leave the island in a few hours if they wanted to be back in LA before nightfall. It had been a magical weekend and Darien had kept up his promise of wrapping up business before lunch. They toured the island like tourists, despite the fact that Darien had been there numerous times before and had even considered building a retreat here at one point before deciding that the French Riviera was a much better locale.   
  
They-Serena, Isabella, Darien and the Kou brothers-set sail early Friday morning in Darien's boat. 'Boat,' Serena had scoffed when she first set her sights on the 100-foot yacht docked at the marina. It was closer to a cruise liner than the sailboat she pictured in her mind. Darien had it custom built about a year before he met Serena and had christened her 'Lady Serenity.' When Serena had pointed out to Darien that he had unknowingly named his yacht after her, all he could do was smile.  
  
"I guess it was fate," he said lightly. In all this time, he had never made the connection between the name of his boat and Serena's real name until now.   
  
'Maybe it _is_ fate.'  
  
So now, Serena waited for Darien to come back to their two-bedroom suite so that they could spend their last few hours relaxing on the hotel grounds as a family. Just as she was about to get a glass of water from the fully functional kitchen, Darien walked into the room, looking tired but happy.  
  
"How did the meeting go?" she asked as Darien flopped onto the couch and tossed off his shoes.   
  
"Great. It's finally done. They've decided to invest with Shields Financial." He groaned and leaned back into the soft couch cushions.   
  
"What's the matter, Darien?"   
  
"I've got this killer headache. I think it's from all the work I've been putting into this deal," he explained, rubbing his temples.  
  
"Here, let me," Serena said. She wordlessly hoisted Darien into a sitting position and sat behind him on the couch. Then she slowly started giving him a massage starting from his tense neck muscles all the way to the top of his head. Darien moaned as he felt her fingers running through his hair. Her light touch was starting to make him feel light-headed and he felt goose bumps rising on his arm.  
  
"You're really good at this," he said, his voice raspy. Serena giggled nervously. She too, was beginning to feel the effects her massage was having on herself.  
  
"That's my job, silly. It's my business to make people feel better." Darien moaned again, his headache slowly disappearing and being replaced with something else, something he hoped Serena wouldn't pick up on: arousal. He grit his teeth in an effort to control himself and was on the verge of excusing himself to go to the washroom and 'take care' of the problem when Serena announced that she was finished and quickly got up off the couch.  
  
Serena walked away from Darien and busied herself with tidying the already clean living room. She hoped Darien didn't notice her red face or the fact that she was breathing rather heavily. During the massage, Serena felt herself getting more and more aroused, despite all her efforts to control herself. As she was running her fingers through his hair, she looked down at her t-shirt and noticed that her nipples were already getting hard. Stifling a gasp, she abruptly pulled away and practically flew off the couch.   
  
After a few minutes of uncomfortable silence, during which time Serena and Darien tried to get hold of themselves, Darien asked her what she would like to do before they went back to LA. Serena bit her lip, trying to think of an activity they could do that wouldn't be too tiring before their trip back.  
  
"How about swimming?" she suggested. "We haven't gone for a swim yet and I just got Isabella the cutest little bathing suit." Darien nodded his head in agreement.  
  
"Swimming it is," he said. "I'll just go to my room to change into my trunks and you ladies can go to your room to change into your suits." Serena agreed and both disappeared into their respective rooms to change.  
  
A few minutes later-or rather, a few seconds for Darien, a few minutes for Serena-they emerged from their rooms in their swimsuits, ready for an afternoon of swimming. Darien, as usual, had on his black swim trunks that went down to his knees, showing off this six-pack beautifully. Serena had on a silver tankini; a healthy compromise between her regulation one-piece and the bikini Amy was pushing her to buy on their recent shopping trip. But Isabella had stolen the show with her swimsuit hands down. It was a pink one piece with a yellow ruffle around the waist and a big yellow duck on the front. Her swimming diaper puffed out adorably in the back, peeking out the sides, and around her upper arms were orange water wings. She looked so cute with her star sunglasses on that Serena couldn't help taking a picture of her and Darien before they left.  
  
"She looks so adorable doesn't she, Darien?" Serena cooed. Darien ruffled Isabella's curly mop of black hair and kissed her shoulder.  
  
"She sure does. I'm just glad she took after her mother instead of me," he replied. Serena raised her eyebrow and looked at him over her sunglasses.   
  
"She looks more like you than she does me. Have you not _seen_ the black hair?" she asked. Isabella started pawing at her father's face, trying to get his attention.  
  
"Now that you mention it, she _did_ inherit the Shields nose," Darien mused.  
  
Serena rolled her eyes. "Yeah, perfect for sticking it high in the air," she teased. Darien growled playfully and chased her all the way to the pool, with Isabella shrieking in his ear the entire way.   
  
Once they got there, they found that every available lounge chair was taken except for one so they hurriedly grabbed it before it was taken too. They piled their stuff on the chair and headed for the shallow end. Serena went in first, shivering as the shock of being immersed halfway in water hit her, and opened out her arms, enticing Darien and Isabella to come forward. Darien began walking into the water but as soon as Isabella's foot touched the water, she emitted another ear-piercing shriek and began trying to climb her father's chest.  
  
"It's ok, baby. Daddy's got you," Darien whispered in her ear. Little by little, he lowered her into the water, lifting her up when she got too scared, until she was finally comfortable enough to have her entire body-head and all-quickly dipped into the water. Serena laughed when Darien lifted her from the water, sputtering and waving her chubby arms and legs angrily.  
  
"My poor baby. What did daddy do to you, huh?" Serena said, taking Isabella into her arms. "Why don't we teach daddy a lesson?" Darien watched them with a smirk on his face, which was quickly wiped away when Serena splashed him with water.  
  
"That was a dirty trick, Serena!" he exclaimed. Isabella, having been vindicated by her mother, clapped her hands enthusiastically. Darien narrowed his eyes at her and pretended to growl dangerously. Then he sent a little splash of his own to Serena, which also hit Isabella, much to her annoyance. Soon, a small water fight erupted between Serena and Isabella against Darien, with neither side having an obvious advantage because Isabella hampered Serena's efforts to get a good shot at Darien, who didn't want to splash Isabella. So, they settled for flicking their wet hands at each other. Though they both knew that made for a poor water fight, Serena and Darien had the time of their lives watching Isabella trying to get in on the action, although her arms didn't even reach the water's surface.  
  
Finally, when their fingers and toes were sufficiently wrinkled, they left the pool for their lounge chair, hoping that another one was vacant but to their dismay and consternation, all chairs were still occupied. Darien offered to let Serena lay down with Isabella but she stubbornly refused, saying that she was perfectly fine sitting upright on the end.  
  
"Are you sure?" Darien asked. He had been sufficiently taught that women tend to say one thing and mean another when it came to what they wanted.  
  
Serena smiled. "Yes! Now go on and lay down so Isabella and I can have a seat."   
  
And so, being the obedient male that he is, Darien did as he was told and lay down on the recliner. Finding it too low for his taste, he adjusted the back so that he was semi-upright. Serena watched him fussing over the chair with a smirk upon her face. "You done now?" she asked, cocking her eyebrow.  
  
Darien scrunched up his face. "Yes, I'm done now," he replied mockingly. Serena sat down by his knees and turned to face him.   
  
"This has been a really great weekend, Dare. I'm glad we went along," she said.   
  
"Doesn't it suck that by this time tomorrow you'll be back in your power suit and up in that glass tower of yours, wrangling another deal for Shields Financial?"  
  
Darien groaned. "Don't remind me. I think this is the first vacation I've taken in a year or so. My secretary goes on more holidays than I do!"   
  
Serena, noticing that a cool breeze had blown in, opened up a towel and wrapped Isabella up in it. "At least you have something to do during the day. Between taking care of Isabella and cleaning my room, I have nothing else to do," she said. Darien tilted his head thoughtfully.  
  
"Have you thought about going back?" he asked a little fearfully.  
  
Serena shook her head. "Well, I've gotta admit that while we were still fighting, going back was all that I could think of. But now that we've decided to seriously get our act together and work at being a family, I've decided on putting off going back, at least for now. It's just that I get so bored during the days with nothing to do in that big house of yours. At least when I was there a year and a half ago I had your dad to take care of but now, he's healthy as a horse and stubborn as a mule."   
  
Darien breathed a sigh of relief. She hadn't said she was going back now, just that she wasn't happy being so alone all the time. He thought about her predicament. "Have you thought about finding a job here?"   
  
Serena shook her head. "If I get a job, I'd have to leave Isabella here. I want something I could do from time to time and still be able to take care of Isabella."  
  
"Like a hobby?" Darien asked. Serena nodded but then looked downcast. "What's the matter?"  
  
"I don't have a hobby!" she exclaimed. Darien smiled at her pouting face.  
  
"What about photography? I've seen Isabella's photo album and the pictures are all very well done. They look professional," he said gently. Serena looked at him with a hopeful gleam in her eye.  
  
"You think so?" she asked in a small voice. Darien nodded then sat upright.  
  
"Come here," he said, enveloping her in his arms. Serena's eyes widened in surprise as he began pulling her down with him.  
  
"What're you doing, Darien?" she asked in a high-pitched voice. Darien didn't answer her as he settled back in his seat with Serena laying on her back on top of him and Isabella lying on _her_ chest.  
  
"There. Doesn't that feel better?" he asked. He could feel Serena's whole body stiffen as her back hovered a few centimeters away from his body. Darien rubbed her arms gently, trying to get her to relax.  
  
"Darien..." she protested weakly. Darien shushed her gently, his breath tickling her ear and giving her goose bumps.  
  
"It's ok, Serena. Just relax," he whispered. Eventually, Serena did as she was told and let herself be eased into a more comfortable position on his chest. On top of her, Isabella had decided to take advantage of her position and readied herself for a well-deserved nap. She yawned, rubbing her face into her mother's chest and closed her eyes, shutting them away from the world.  
  
The three of them lay there in silence, as if the whole world just stopped and only they were aware of it. To Darien and Serena, and even Isabella, time had stopped and only they existed. The swimmers in the pool vanished, the sun stopped moving in the sky and the hubbub around them faded to nothing.   
  
Eventually, the spell was broken when Darien glanced at his watch and saw the time.  
  
"Serena," he said softly, trying to hang onto the mood for just a while longer,   
  
"it's time to get ready."  
  
Serena moaned softly. "I don't want to go back," she replied, a thousand different meanings behind her words. Darien kissed the top of her head gently.  
  
"Neither do I but we've gotta keep moving forward. Always forward," he said, catching her meaning, as she was sure he would.  
  
"Forward," she repeated softly.  
  
***********************  
  
July 26, 2002  
  
Wow, I got that done faster than I thought! Well, tell me what you think of this chapter. Review, review, review! This is probably the last update I'm going to do in a long while cuz I'm going on vacation for the whole month of August so I hope this tides you guys over until I get back! Thanks again for the reviews some of you have written and the emails that you've sent. They really do help to motivate me when I'm at my laziest (and trust me, I can be pretty lethargic). I'll see you in chapter 15 hopefully!  
  
* this refers to Kaye Olinite's name. I didn't come up with that spelling; I think it was from Jason Ulloa's story called Seeing Stars that I first saw it. I just wanted to give credit where credit is due. 


	16. Love is in the Air

Hey everyone, I'm back from my vacation and ready to go on with this new chapter. I just want to extend my sincerest thanks to everyone who has waited patiently and loyally for me to update this little story of mine. I honestly never expected all the discussions on AI's message board regarding my story and I just want to say I'm touched, not to mention so honoured that this story had such a profound effect on some people. Ok, enough mushiness; time to get to work!  
  
************************************************************************  
  
Wounded Souls  
  
Chapter 15-Love is in the Air  
  
By: ~crystal~rose~{@  
  
September 6, 2002  
  
****************************  
  
Darien sighed as he pored over the various facts and figures spread out before him and turned to the figure huddled next to him on the massive bed, clutching one of his pillows to her body, totally oblivious of his presence. He groaned inwardly, envying the pillow its most fortunate position, entangled within the confines of Serena's arms and legs, and thought wryly that if he ever believed in reincarnation, he would most definitely sign up to become Serena's pillow in his next life.   
  
He watched in awed fascination as Serena buried her face in the pillow, trying unsuccessfully to smother the laughter threatening to burst forth from her lips. She must have sensed that she was being watched because she tore her eyes away from the television screen and turned to him, frowning at her with the most pensive expression on his face.   
  
"I'm sorry, was I bothering you?" she asked almost shyly, her eyes looking up at Darien innocently.   
  
Darien gulped nervously. 'Bothering me?' he thought. 'Ever since she burst into my room in those teeny, tiny boxers and the little scrap of cloth she calls a tank top, I haven't been able to think of anything else.' He shook his head mechanically and Serena smiled at him before turning back to her program.   
  
Darien thought back to forty-five minutes ago, when he was sitting alone in his room, determined to do some very neglected reading when Serena traipsed through the door in her little outfit and flopped unceremoniously on his bed. He was about to give her a good-natured scolding on the importance of knocking before entering a room when he noticed what she was wearing.  
  
"I'm bored," she had whined childishly. "Entertain me." Darien snapped out of his trance and grinned wryly at her before handing her the TV remote.  
  
"Knock yourself out," he said, laughing at the pout pulling the corners of her mouth down.   
  
"If I had wanted to watch TV, I could've stayed in my room," she pointed out petulantly. Nevertheless, she took the remote from him and began changing the channels at break-neck speed, barely pausing to find out what each program offered before moving on to the next.   
  
"By all means," he drawled.   
  
Serena ignored him, having found a sitcom whose claim to fame was making off-colour jokes about everything from sex to religion. It was then that she grabbed the pillow and snuggled up against it, making Darien seriously begin to consider the pillow a rival for her affections. And so, almost an hour later, Darien was still staring at the same page he was reading when she walked in.  
  
"Whatcha reading?" Serena asked, abandoning the pillow and sitting up on all fours so that she could peer over his shoulder. It seemed that her sitcom had finished because a severe looking anchorwoman from a local news show began to deliver the day's top stories in a no-nonsense, business-like manner.   
  
"It's just a report on whether or not it would be in Shields Financial's best interests to acquire...am I boring you, Serena?" he asked, seeing the blank expression on her face.  
  
Serena had the grace to blush as she shook her head vigorously in denial. "No, of course not! You know that I find your interest in being the head honcho of one of North America's leading investment firms quite fascinating. Rather cute, actually. Have you ever noticed that you practically salivate like a pre-pubescent boy about to play his first game of 'Spin the Bottle' every time you start talking about one of your recent acquisitions? It's great that you're so passionate about what you do-even if I do find it boring as hell," she added teasingly. She squealed in protest when Darien dug his knuckles into her hair and rubbed them back and forth along her head. She raised her hands in surrender and Darien smiled at her superiorly.  
  
"So what was with the blank look?" he asked. In the background, the anchorwoman continued her report on the nation's financial status.  
  
"I was just thinking about going back to Toronto in three days and Aunt Celeste's wedding. I can't wait to see them again!" she exclaimed, a dreamy expression over her face. Just then, a thought entered her mind and she immediately sobered up.  
  
"What's wrong?"  
  
"Um, you're sure about wanting to stay at my house while we're there?" she asked tentatively.  
  
"Yeah. Why, you don't want me there?" he asked, trying to keep his tone light and the hurt out of his voice. Apparently, he didn't do as good a job as he thought for Serena slipped her arms around him in a comforting hug.  
  
"It's not that," she replied gently. "It's just that-well, it's kinda embarrassing, but..."  
  
"Spit it out, Serena," Darien prompted. Serena grimaced uncomfortably under his intense gaze and chewed on her bottom lip nervously.  
  
"Well, it's just that, I know that you've grown up in this house and have lived in it your whole life," she began, expecting him to understand what she was getting at.   
  
Darien frowned in confusion as she stared at him expectantly. "Yeah...so?" Serena sighed in frustration before continuing.  
  
"You have your own wing in this house." She could see the gears turning in his head as he pondered what it was she was trying to tell him.  
  
"I don't get it." Serena threw her hands in the air and shifted herself on the bed so that she was sitting on her knees facing him.  
  
"My house in Toronto only has three bedrooms and one lumpy couch. This house has more bedrooms than there are residents. You come from a world of Persian rugs and wine with your meals. Me, I come from a world covered in linoleum and the closest thing I have to a vintage wine is the can of Coke I bought from the grocery store the week before. What I'm trying to say is," she placed a hand to both sides of his face and looked deeply into his eyes, "that I don't want you to think that you'd be hurting my feelings if you opt to stay at the Royal York Hotel instead of the Mathis Motel. You don't have to rough it at my house if you can afford to stay in a five-star hotel." She dropped her hands to her sides and lowered her eyes to the mattress.  
  
Darien's expression softened as he finally understood what she was trying to tell him. He gathered up her tiny hands in one of his and used the other one to gently tilt her chin up. "Now why would you automatically assume that I'd feel that way about staying in your home? I may have grown up with some of the finer things in life and I admit that until recently, I've been nothing but an ass to you but please believe me when I say I'd be honoured to stay in your home."  
  
Serena still had a hesitant look in her eyes. "I know you're sorry, it's just that-"  
  
"No buts, Serena. Just because my home happens to be a lot bigger than yours, doesn't mean your house is a hovel. My home is with my family-you and Isabella. But if you're really uncomfortable with me staying in your home, considering all the bad blood between me and your family, I'd completely understand," he said. "I won't push you to accept me in all aspects of your life. I owe you that much, at least. I'll just arrange to stay elsewhere-"  
  
"No! That's not what I want!" Serena cried a little desperately. Her voice reverberated off the walls and she blushed at her outburst. "I just meant that I don't want to make you more uncomfortable than you'll most likely be, with Sammy and Justin breathing down your neck like deranged lunatics. And you don't owe me anything at all. You've already apologized to me about half as many times as I've apologized to you. Please don't think that I want to keep you out of my life again."   
  
Again, Serena lowered her eyes, carefully studying the bedspread and it's bold pattern of reds and blues randomly swirled on a black background. "I-I know that my house isn't what you're used to. Hell, you could probably fit the whole thing in the shallow end of the indoor pool and-" Her words were cut off by the gentle pressure of Darien's finger on her lips. Serena felt a shiver run down her spine and she had to struggle to maintain an outwardly calm appearance.   
  
"Serena, as cheesy as it sounds, a home isn't made up of walls, cement and a lot of other stuff I've probably never even heard of. It's made up of the people living there, and as long as you and Isabella are there with me, I'd be pretty comfortable sleeping in your bathtub," Darien said sincerely. A smile tugged at Serena's lips.  
  
"Just remember you said that. If Sammy had his way, you'd be sleeping in a snowbank with nothing more than a newspaper blanket and all your worldly possessions in a garbage bag under your head as a pillow." Darien chuckled. "And you're right. That was cheesy."  
  
Serena, having learned her lesson from before, quickly ducked before Darien could smack her in the head with a pillow. She snuck her tongue out at him and yanked her pillow away from his clutches before settling back down in her original position.   
  
"I think it's time you stopped slacking off and returned to your work," she declared regally. Darien raised an amused eyebrow and smiled at her indulgently.  
  
"Excuse me? If memory serves me correctly, you were the one who started talking to me first," he pointed out dryly.  
  
"Quiet. I'm watching the news," Serena replied loftily without looking at him. Darien gave her one more smile and picked up his discarded folder.  
  
They had been sitting in silence for a few minutes, Darien dutifully reading the financial reports and Serena watching the news, when Darien heard Serena gasp sharply. He felt her body stiffen and by the time he had set his folder aside, she was sitting upright, her face ashen and the pillow hugged tightly to her chest.  
  
"Serena? What's the matter?" Darien frowned in concern when she didn't answer. Serena stared at the TV so intently that Darien wondered if she was still aware of his presence beside her.   
  
"A 42-year old man was caught molesting a 6-year old girl in her neighbourhood playground this afternoon," the stern-faced anchorwoman said. "A friend of the little girl, whose identity cannot be released, saw a strange man touching the child behind some bushes and immediately alerted her mother who in turn, contacted the police. Arrested was one Thomas Gibson of Sacramento, California. Gibson has had prior convictions over the past five years, including possession of child pornography. The little girl was taken to hospital for trauma. If convicted, Gibson faces a minimum of life in prison without parole. Now, on to sports with Jim Haley-"   
  
Darien took the remote from Serena's trembling hand and turned off the TV. She flinched when he laid a gentle hand on her shoulder. Turning to see who it was, she smiled weakly when she saw it was just Darien.   
  
"Are you alright?" Darien asked worriedly.   
  
Serena took in a few gulps of air and nodded. "I'm fine. It's just that it was so close to home, you know? I've heard so many cases of children being preyed upon by monsters like that, but that poor little girl...She was assaulted in a park...Just like I was," she finished softly.  
  
"Do you want to talk about it?" Darien asked. Serena shook her head and started to move to the edge of the bed.   
  
"That's ok, Darien. I-I think I just want to be alone for a while." Darien watched as Serena got up on shaky limbs and fought to steady herself at the foot of the bed. Having accomplished that task, she turned to Darien, who continued to watch her worriedly, and managed a smile that didn't reach her eyes.   
  
"I'm fine now. Don't worry about me. I just need to sleep this off and I'll be good as new tomorrow morning. Don't forget to say goodbye before you leave for work, ok? Goodnight."   
  
Before Darien could say anything, Serena had crossed the room and was already out the door. He sighed dejectedly and stared at the closed door in deep thought for twenty minutes before picking up the file but it was a long time after that before his eyes wandered back to the page.  
  
**************  
  
It was one thirty in the morning and Darien was just about to turn in for the night. He eased himself out of his shirt and began tidying up the scattered papers on his bed. 'Not like I got much reading done, anyway,' he thought ruefully. For the past two and a half hours, his mind had gone from worrying about Serena to the work in front of him, demanding his immediate attention. Finally, after staring at a graph for fifteen minutes and not knowing what it was about, he decided to call it a night.   
  
His eyes swung in the direction of the closed door and recalled the haunted look in Serena's eyes that she tried so valiantly to hide for his benefit. "Maybe I should go see if she's ok," he murmured to himself. Having made up his mind, he walked swiftly to the door in three strides and made his way to Serena's room.  
  
He crossed the hallway and paused outside the door, hesitating. 'What should I do?' he wondered, staring at the doorknob. 'I can't just barge into her room at quarter to two in the morning. What if she's asleep?'  
  
As if in answer to his question, Darien heard a low moan coming from beyond the door. He paused, wondering if he indeed had heard something, when it was followed by Serena's muffled voice. Wondering who it was she was talking to, Darien put his ear to the door to find out.  
  
"Please don't hurt her!" he heard Serena cry. Darien stood bolt upright.  
  
"What the hell?" he muttered. His heart hammering in his throat at the thought of a stranger in the house about to hurt Isabella or Serena, Darien burst through the door, expecting to have to put up a fight with an armed intruder but was altogether unprepared for the scene in front of him.  
  
Serena was writhing on the bed, her sheets twisted around her body, her arms and legs flailing about, muttering incoherently in her sleep. Darien rushed to her side, barely managing to avoid being hit in the chest by one of her arms, and gripped her shoulders tightly.  
  
"Serena! Wake up! You're having a bad dream," he urged, giving her a little shake to rouse her from her nightmare.  
  
"Get away from her!" Serena's face was soaked with sweat and tears as she fought with her imaginary attacker.  
  
"Serena, wake up!" Darien shook her a little harder, bringing Serena a step closer to consciousness for her eyes started fluttering rapidly.  
  
Upon seeing his stern face brought about by his concern for her, Serena began to cry earnestly. "I'm sorry, Darien! I'm so sorry! Oh God, help me!" she sobbed brokenly. Darien's brows knitted even more as she started babbling apologies to him.  
  
"What are you sorry about?" he questioned. Serena sobbed harder, her answer being swallowed up in her tears. Darien wiped her face with his hand and forced her to look at him in the eye.   
  
"You're still half-asleep, Serena. Wake up!" he demanded, worry making him sound harsher than he wanted to be.  
  
"I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry," she muttered to herself, more tears pouring down her face. "I couldn't save her. I tried, but I couldn't save her."  
  
Darien began to lightly tap her on the cheeks to get her attention. "Tell me what happened."   
  
Serena shook her head furiously, shutting her eyes tightly to block the barrage of images streaming through her mind. Darien sighed in frustration and gripped her arms in a hold that would surely leave marks in a few hours and shook her roughly. "Wake up, damn it! You were just having a bad dream. Now tell me what it is so I can help you!"   
  
"He came back," she whispered softly, so softly that Darien almost didn't hear her. "I was that little girl in the news tonight and he came back."  
  
"Jake?" Serena nodded.  
  
"H-he took me to the trees and told me what he was going to do to me but I told him I was stronger now and wouldn't let him hurt me anymore. Suddenly, I became an adult and we were standing in this very room, facing each other." Serena paused, visibly trembling. Darien put a comforting hand on her shoulder, which Serena either accepted or didn't notice.  
  
"I told him that he didn't have power over me anymore, that he was long dead and that I was finally happy with my life. He just laughed at me." Serena once again shivered at the memory. "I always hated his laugh. It sounded so happy and nice that it was very hard to believe a person who laughed like that was capable of being such a monster. I always mistrusted men who laughed like that after knowing Jake."   
  
Serena and Darien sat in silence for a moment, contemplating their emotions before Serena once again started to speak. "I-I thought I had the situation under control. I was strong. And then...and then..."  
  
"Yes?" Darien prompted gently.   
  
Serena inhaled a shaky breath. "Isabella started crying in the nursery. Before I could move, he was already in her room and-" Without warning, Serena pushed Darien aside and ran to her washroom, fighting the surge of nausea by clutching her stomach with one hand, and her mouth with the other.   
  
Darien picked himself up from the floor and ran after her. By the time Darien reached the washroom, Serena was already on her hands and knees, heaving the contents of her stomach into the toilet. Darien held her hair away from her face until she was through vomiting. Thoroughly spent, Serena crawled away from the toilet and rested herself against the bathtub, crying into her hands.   
  
Without a word, Darien picked up a face cloth and ran it under cool water from the sink. He sank to his knees beside her and gently dabbed her sweat-beaded forehead with the damp cloth.   
  
Still sobbing, Serena collapsed on Darien's left shoulder. "I just stood there, watching him defile our daughter. I glanced down and saw that I had turned into a little girl again. I tried to fight him off of her, but he just pushed me away. Oh God, please help me. Mommy come back, please come back. Oh God, I just want my mom. Mama! Mama..." she pleaded helplessly.  
  
Darien felt tears prick his eyes as he watched all the progress Serena made in her fight to free herself from Jake Cassidy's evil come undone in one night. He gently gathered her up in his arms and cradled her like a child as she cried for her mother. Darien rocked them both, Serena finding solace in the fact that Darien was here in her time of need, Darien in the fact that he could offer what little support he could for her.   
  
"I-I have to see her."  
  
Darien raised an eyebrow in confusion. "Who? Your mom?"  
  
"My baby. I have to see my baby," Serena whispered hoarsely. "I have to make sure she's ok. I have to see for myself that nothing happened to her, that-that she's fine and-and -"  
  
Darien smoothed his hand over Serena's back to get her to calm down. He whispered words of comfort in her ear until he could feel her start to relax in his arms. "Alright, we can go see Isabella but she might be sleeping. Are you sure you're going to be able to see her without waking her up?"   
  
Serena's head bobbed up and down as she rushed to compose herself. "I won't wake her up, I promise. I just really need to see for myself that Jake hasn't hurt her." At Darien's nod of approval, Serena carefully stood up on shaky legs and waited for him to join her.  
  
They made their way silently to the nursery where Isabella slept, blissfully unaware of the demons haunting her mother that night. Serena tiptoed quietly to the crib while Darien stayed in the doorway watching in curious fascination at a broken mother drawing strength from her child. He watched as Serena carefully lowered the side of the crib to give her easier access to Isabella, kneeling on the floor so that she was more or less at the same level as the mattress upon which Isabella slept.  
  
He could see Serena whispering soft words to their sleeping daughter but could not make them out, nor did he want to, for he knew that what Serena had to say was for Isabella's ears only, regardless if she was awake to hear them or not. The pained expression on her face clearly showed that she was reliving her nightmares and seeing images in her mind that she would have a hard time erasing. Finally, after giving Isabella a gentle kiss on the forehead, Serena carefully stood up and padded over to Darien.   
  
"I really needed that. I needed to see that she was still sound asleep in her room where my nightmares couldn't touch her. I needed to see that there's at least one person in this world who has no idea what child abuse is," Serena explained softly as they walked back to her room.  
  
"Are you going to be fine now?" Darien asked, not wanting to leave her until he was certain she was going to be ok. One look at her face, however, told him that she wasn't.  
  
Serena was staring at her bed with a repugnance and sheer terror that was usually reserved for the most violent of criminals. And in a way, it was, for her bed was the origin of Serena's deepest fears and insecurities. From the sexual abuse she experienced as a child, which ultimately started her on a life of promiscuity, to the dreams she had leading her to fear that her child had fallen under the same trap she was in, all happened in what was supposed to be the security of her bedroom.  
  
As if to confirm his suspicions, Serena wiped away her tears and trembled violently. "I'm scared to go back to sleep," she moaned. "What if I see that again?" She was on the verge of collapse had Darien not been supporting her by her arm.  
  
"Do you want me to stay with you until you fall asleep?" Serena nodded, her tears blurring her vision so that she didn't even know what direction her bed lay. She fumbled around, trying to see through her tears, vaguely embarrassed that Darien had to see her in this state, when all of a sudden, she felt herself being lifted in strong arms and carried to the bed.   
  
Darien laid her down gently before crawling in beside her. He moved slowly so as not to scare her, then placed his hand over hers, which was resting lightly over her stomach. They lay still for a few moments, both not saying a word. When he felt Serena shiver, Darien turned his head to see that tears were once again forming in her eyes.  
  
"What's wrong?" Serena sniffled and turned away from him, saying nothing. "Serena?"  
  
"I'm sorry," she whispered softly, the silence of the room making her voice sound louder than it really was.  
  
Darien turned and held her in his arms, spooning her body in his. "For what?"  
  
Serena took a deep breath and released it slowly. "I'm so weak. I've tried to become stronger, for myself, for Isabella, you...but I feel like I'm just taking one step forward, and a hundred steps back. I'm sorry, I'm so sorry..."  
  
Darien was immediately whispering comforting words in her ear, squeezing her gently to reassure her that he didn't blame her in the least. "You have nothing to feel sorry about, Serena. It's not your fault that sick, disgusting animals like Jake get put on this earth to terrorize children. I hate him for what he did to you, for what he keeps doing to you, even from beyond the grave. I swear, sometimes..." he trailed off, not wanting to finish the sentence.  
  
"What?" Serena asked, pulling his arm that was wrapped around her waist so that his palm lay beneath her cheek.   
  
"Sometimes I hate myself for not being able to take away your pain. There are days when you're so happy, as if you don't have a care in the world, and then there are nights like this when all the memories become too much and I can't get through all the pain to help you. Let me help you, Serena," he pleaded. Darien sighed, crestfallen, when he felt tears land on his palm.  
  
"Thank you." Serena could hardly get the words past her throat. "Thank you," she repeated a little more firmly. Darien responded by moving closer to her and kissing her shoulder.  
  
"You're welcome," he replied, his voice thick with emotion.  
  
"Darien, could you do me a favour?" Serena asked after another moment of comfortable silence.  
  
"Anything."  
  
"Tell me a story."  
  
"What kind of story?" Serena was quiet for a minute as she pondered the answer to his question.  
  
"A happily ever after story." Darien smiled softly and moved closer to her ear.  
  
"Have you ever heard of the Silver Princess and the Ebony Prince?" he asked, knowing that she hadn't for he was just now spinning the story in his head. As he predicted, Serena shook her head in reply.   
  
"Well, once upon a time, thousands of years ago, there were two kingdoms on opposite sides of a forest. The Silver Princess lived in the East Kingdom and the Ebony Prince lived in the West. Now, both kingdoms hated-"  
  
"Darien? What were their names?" Serena interrupted. Darien searched through his minimal knowledge of fairy tales for suitable names but was at a loss for words.  
  
"Um, this story took place so long ago that people have forgotten their names," he replied lamely.  
  
"Then how did they get called the Silver Princess and the Ebony Prince?" Serena persisted.   
  
"Er, let's see, the princess always wore a silver necklace given to her by her mother when she was just a baby and the prince was said to have a personality that matched his hair, dark as night.   
  
"As I was saying, both kingdoms had been at war for the past fifty years because the rulers of the East at the time, the princess' grandparents, blamed the rulers of the West, the prince's great-aunt and uncle, for the death of their daughter, who had run away in order to meet with the prince's uncle. You see, they were attacked and killed by an evil sorceress while they were on their way to get married secretly. Having no other heir to the throne, the rulers of the West had to pass their crowns to the prince's parents," Darien explained.  
  
"So, the daughter of the rulers of the East and the son of the rulers of the West were secretly in love but were killed by a witch on what was supposed to be their wedding day? And the Ebony Prince's parents assumed the throne because his uncle, the only crown heir, had been killed?" Serena reiterated. "And ever since then both kingdoms have hated each other? So then what happened?"  
  
And so, Darien spun a tale of the accidental meeting fifty years later of a rebellious princess and a mercurial prince in the very same woods their long dead relatives met for the last time. He told of a forbidden love at a time of war and of the risks and dangers the prince and princess faced in order to be together.   
  
Serena began to shiver as she imagined the evil sorceress, who had been pitting one kingdom against the other in hopes of reaping the spoils, lurking in the background, waiting for the day when she could cut the Silver Princess and the Ebony Prince down as she had their ancestors half a century ago. Then one day, the sorceress saw her chance and captured the princess as she was about to meet her prince in the woods. The prince saw what happened from afar and followed the evil sorceress back to her lair, where he began to battle with her to free the princess.   
  
Just as Serena was about to question Darien's idea of a happily ever after story, the Ebony Prince had managed to strike a deadly blow to the source of the sorceress' powers: the red crystal pendant hanging from her neck. As the evil sorceress lay dying on the floor next to her broken crystal, the prince broke the bonds holding the princess captive and they were able to escape the sorceress' lair, now crumbling to pieces around them.   
  
The prince took the princess back to her home but was sent away by her father, who blamed him for her disappearance. The princess spent her days and nights crying for her love in the tower room, where she could see his kingdom over the treetops. The prince was not faring so well himself, refusing to eat or go outside. Finally, the Silver Princess' father took her to the Kingdom of the West to place blame on the prince for the state his daughter was in. The prince's father, in turn, blamed the princess for his son's mental and emotional anguish.   
  
As the two kings were about to draw their swords against each other, their wives begged them to end the fighting and look at what's taking place right under their noses. The prince, hearing the princess' voice, had staggered to the throne room with the help of his most trusted friend. The princess, shocked at his gaunt appearance, ran to his side and fell to her knees, cradling him to her. They embraced tenderly, unaware that their parents were watching them.   
  
The queens begged their husbands not to make their children suffer any more than they already have by nursing old wounds that did not concern them anymore. The kings, seeing that their children were happier now than they have been for weeks, grudgingly agreed. They announced that the prince and princess were free to marry and would be crowned king and queen of both kingdoms.  
  
"And they lived happily ever after," Darien finished, pleased that he had been able to make a passable fairy tale in such short notice.  
  
"Darien?"  
  
"Hmm?"  
  
"I liked that." Serena yawned. "I think I can go back to sleep now. Goodnight." Serena pulled his arm closer around her and kissed his palm.   
  
"Sweet dreams, Serena," Darien said, his breath tickling her ear.  
  
Serena giggled softly. "Thanks, I will."  
  
******************  
  
The sun shone brightly through the lacy curtains and into Serena's eyes. She sighed and tried to go back to sleep. Her dreams were filled with visions of a beautiful princess with a silver necklace and a prince whose dark hair complemented his dark personality. When her eyelids failed to keep the sun out of her eyes, Serena tried to roll over but found that her body was trapped under something. She opened one eye slowly, unsure of what she was to find. Her breath caught in her throat.   
  
Darien was in the bed with her. Not just in the bed, but he had his arm wrapped securely around her middle, his face inches away from hers. Serena's eyes widened when she saw how intimately their legs were wrapped around each other's, how Serena's thigh was caught between Darien's muscular legs while her other leg was thrown on top of his. She blushed furiously when she saw her fingers spread out on his bare chest. They were so close to each other that they shared one pillow.   
  
Carefully, she lifted her leg and tried to shift her position so that she lay on her back instead of her side. As if sensing her movements, Darien's arm tightened around her, pulling her closer to him, a frown marring his otherwise peaceful face. Had she not been so flustered, Serena would have laughed at the situation, maybe even taken advantage of it by tickling him awake. After a few minutes of gently struggling against her slumbering captor, Serena decided to wake him up.  
  
"Darien, wake up," she hissed in his ear. She grit her teeth when all Darien did was mumble and squeeze her tighter. "Darien!"  
  
"Hmm? Wha?" Darien mumbled sleepily. He glanced down at her, as if waking up next to her was the most natural thing in the world. "Good morning!"  
  
Serena noticed that he still had not released her. "Good morning," she replied testily.   
  
Darien leaned forward and planted a warm kiss on her forehead, much to her annoyance. "Did you sleep better?"  
  
Serena frowned at the question. "What are you talking abou-" Suddenly, all the memories from the night before flooded her groggy systems, forcing her to awaken with such force that she almost bit her tongue. She started to whimper, and, despite her previous reservations, buried her face into his shoulder.   
  
"It's ok, it's ok," Darien soothed, running his fingers through her hair. "Remember our talk last night? I said that I would be here for you anytime the memories got to be too much for you. Remember that?"   
  
Serena nodded and wiped away the last of her tears. She looked up at his face and smiled softly before resting her head in the hollow of his shoulder again. They remained comfortably in this position for a little while longer, not wanting to face another day. Just as Darien was about to ask Serena if she felt better, the door to the nursery was flung open, scaring both himself and Serena.  
  
"GEE-zus!" Walter exclaimed, taking in the sight of a bare-chested Darien and a seemingly naked Serena, wrapped up in a thin blanket and each other. In his arms, he carried a placid-looking Isabella, quietly sucking on a teething ring.  
  
"Dad!"  
  
"Walter!"  
  
Serena and Darien sprang apart and sat up on the bed, Serena clutching the blanket to her chest; that and her bare shoulders giving Walter more reason to believe that she was naked underneath, when the truth was, her tank top straps had slipped off her shoulders.  
  
Walter stared at them with eyes so round that Darien began to wonder if his eyeballs would roll out from their sockets. Finally, he gave them a feral grin and whooped triumphantly. Isabella took the teething ring from her mouth and tried to copy her grandfather, making a little cheep instead of a whoop. Seeing as how her vocal skills weren't up to par yet, Isabella opted to pump her chubby fist in the air. Walter laughed and encouraged her even more. Serena couldn't see her own face, but she was pretty sure it was about as red as Darien's.  
  
"We can explain," Darien said hurriedly, holding out his hands as if in surrender. "You see, last night-"  
  
Walter laughed even harder. "You don't have to explain the birds and the bees to me, my boy."  
  
Serena shook her head emphatically. "No, Walter, you don't understand. If you just listen to us-"  
  
"I think I'm old enough to know what the birds and the bees are, girlie. Hee hee, I knew it was only a matter of time before this 'we're just friends' nonsense got swept under the rug and the fun stuff happened. I've gotta admit, boy, I thought you'd never make a move. Molly and the girls thought you'd end up together by the beginning of spring but Melvin and the boys thought it would be the end of summer before you got back into Serena's good graces-and her bed-again. Wait'll I tell them that they were all wrong and I was right!" Walter thrust Isabella into Darien's arms before practically skipping to the door. "Oh, by the way, Ella's diaper needs to be changed," he called over his shoulder and slammed the door shut.  
  
Serena and Darien looked at each other in disbelief before bursting in laughter. Their shoulders shook and tears streamed from their eyes as they tried to give laughing accounts of Walter's discovery of them in bed together. Isabella looked from one laughing parent to another, trying to get their attention by letting loose a string of gibberish that only made sense to her. Finally, when she couldn't get their attention after many failed attempts, she decided to try a tactic she had been saving up for a time such as this.  
  
"Ma-ma," she pronounced deliberately, flashing her hard-earned baby teeth at them. Isabella had started teething about two weeks ago and had kept her parents up with her crying fits until Serena wanted to cry with her out of pity. Now, Isabella was the proud owner of two milk teeth, one on top and one on the bottom, making her look like a jack-o-lantern. Serena and Darien instantly stopped laughing and could only stare at their daughter in surprise.  
  
"Darien, did you just hear what I just heard?" Serena asked shakily.  
  
"Ma-ma."  
  
Darien grinned. "I think I did."  
  
Serena screamed and pulled Isabella, who bore a smug grin on her face, from Darien and gave her a big kiss on the lips. She continued to smother Isabella with kisses until the child fairly squealed with laughter. "Darien, she said her first word! Oh my God!"  
  
Isabella, seeing how pleased her parents were when she said that word, decided to please them even more by saying it again. "Ma-ma, ma-ma, ma-ma, ma-ma, ma-ma, ma-ma, ma-ma, ma-ma!"  
  
Darien grinned wryly at Serena. "Yeah, isn't it great?" he asked, his voice tinged with amusement and pride.  
  
Serena smacked him lightly in the shoulder. "Hurry, get the video camera!"  
  
Then next hour was spent videotaping Isabella happily singing her first word with Darien and Serena staring at her in rapt attention. Finally, Darien had to put the camera down in order to get ready for work.  
  
"I think this calls for a celebration," he announced a half hour later when he came into Serena's room again, having done away with his pajamas in exchange for a charcoal gray Armani suit with a cobalt blue shirt that brought out the colour of his eyes. "How about the two of you come to my place for lunch and then we can go shopping for presents?"  
  
"Ooh," Serena cooed excitedly into Isabella's ear. "Daddy's gonna take you shopping."  
  
"Ma-ma."  
  
"That's right, sweetheart. I'm your mama," she beamed. Darien had never seen Serena look as happy she did at that moment. Her eyes shone brightly and her cheeks were a rosy pink. The smile on her face was infectious, for Darien found that his own cheeks were starting to hurt from smiling so much. It was hard to imagine that the awful events of the night before had been erased by the single, most glorious word all mothers want their children to say, Serena not excluded.   
  
"Oh my gosh, I still haven't bought Aunt Celeste a wedding gift," Serena gasped in realization.  
  
"We can do it today," Darien reassured her. "Do you have any idea what to get her?"  
  
"No. I told Sammy a month ago that I was thinking of getting her and Robert monogrammed towels but he said that he already bought them. Then, when I spoke to Mika two days ago, she told me that she and Sammy just bought them a week before. That little brat stole my idea," she fumed.   
  
Darien chuckled. "You shouldn't have told him what you were going to get. What does a guy know about what kind of presents to buy for a wedding?"  
  
"Apparently nothing. Now the problem is, I don't know what to get them. I mean, what do you get two people who already have everything they could possibly want for their wedding?" Serena mused as they headed downstairs.  
  
"Well, we can just go around the stores today and see what comes up. Stop by my office today around twelve and then we'll go out to eat. I'll have my work wrapped up by then," Darien told her. They stopped at the front door; Melvin was off to the side, trying not to appear as if he was listening but the grin tugging at the corners of his mouth gave him away.  
  
Serena lifted her eyebrow at him pointedly until he rolled his eyes and left the room, only to stand in the doorway, just out of Serena's line of vision. "Are you sure you can afford to take a half day today? You are going to Toronto in just ten days," she pointed out when she thought Melvin had left, absently picking a piece of invisible lint from Darien's silk tie. "What if the work you put off today prevents you from joining us up there next week?"  
  
Darien smirked. "That's the beauty of running your own company; you get to delegate. Whatever I don't get done before I go to Toronto, I'll have Johnson do. Besides, there's always the Internet. I'll just take my laptop with me and catch up on any work that I haven't finished."  
  
"Oh no you don't, mister. You work way too hard as it is; you're not going to bring more work with you on your one week vacation," Serena said sternly. "You are completely defeating the purpose of going on vacation by bringing a laptop with you. Well, I won't have it so you can tell this Johnson guy that it's time he stepped up to the plate and earn whatever it is you're paying him by being a good little employee. Now, it's eight thirty and you have to get to work. Move it!"  
  
Darien chuckled as Serena began to forcibly push him out the door. "I'll make sure to tell Johnson you said that," he teased. "I'm sure his wife and kids won't mind me adding another couple of hours to his already busy ten to twelve hour days. I don't pay him almost half a million a year for nothing."  
  
"Half...a million..." Serena stammered. Suddenly, she straightened up. "Hey! Do you realize that as soon as you walk out that door, your father will swoop down on me like an eagle going after a fish about what he saw this morning? I'll have to fend for myself while you get to sit around in that cushy office all day, pushing paper and paying people obscene amounts of money to do their work."  
  
"Bye, sweet pea." Darien grinned at Serena, ignoring the livid expression on her face, and kissed Isabella on the nose. "See you two later!" He ran down the driveway before Serena could nag him some more about being stuck holding the bag.  
  
Serena and Isabella waved to Darien as he backed one his ridiculously overpriced cars down the drive. He honked the horn twice before speeding off to work. Knowing that she had a goofy smile on her face, Serena turned around to head to the kitchen to grab Isabella something to eat when she collided into Walter, who had been standing behind her with a highly amused Melvin, who incidentally had been filled in on everything his senior employer had seen earlier that day.  
  
"Walter," she said tentatively. Serena could feel her heart pounding a little bit faster as he raised his eyebrow. "What can I do for you?"  
  
Perhaps it was the way Walter shrugged nonchalantly, or maybe it was the way Melvin was rubbing his hands together in anticipation, that caused a shiver of nervousness to crawl down Serena's spine. She faced them bravely but all she wanted to do was to run and hide from their inevitable questions and teasing.  
  
She licked her suddenly dry lips. "What can I do for you two this morning?" she asked a little more boldly.  
  
"Oh, I don't know, how bout we start with that little scene I walked in on this morning?" Walter answered, a predatory smile upon his lips.  
  
Serena tilted her chin up defiantly, refusing to let him get to her so early in the morning. "Yes, about that. I realize this is your house and everything, but you can't just walk into a person's room without knocking. That's rude," she declared stubbornly.   
  
Walter waved his hand dismissively. "Believe me, if I had known what was on the other side of that door, I would've knocked. Very loud. No, I wanted to discuss what I found in your room. Or better yet, who."  
  
Serena clutched Isabella to her chest and began walking away from them toward the kitchen. "There's nothing to discuss," she called over her shoulder to the obstinate men following her at a furious pace.  
  
"Oh really?" she heard Walter drawl.  
  
"Yes, really," she emphasized through gritted teeth as she pushed her way past the kitchen door. "I had a nightmare and Darien offered to stay with me because I was afraid to be alone. What you saw was completely innocent."  
  
"It didn't look very innocent to me." Serena could almost hear the smirk in Walter's voice. She plopped Isabella down in her high chair and searched the panty for her food.  
  
"Well then, you must need glasses," she deadpanned. "Did you know that Isabella said her first word today?" She hoped that the doting grandfather in Walter would rise up and take the bait.  
  
She breathed a sigh of relief when Walter's face broke out into a brilliant smile as he pressed a kiss on Isabella's head. "That's great!"  
  
"Ma-ma!" Walter beamed proudly.  
  
"This is wonderful! My granddaughter just said her first word, and her parents are finally doing the dirty deed." Serena heaved a sigh of long-suffering and turned to the two men playing with Isabella as if they were all schoolyard buddies.  
  
"Darien and I are not doing the dirty deed!" she exclaimed. To her disbelief, Melvin had sidled up to Walter and began playing with the hem of the older man's shirt. She saw Melvin flash a conspiratorial grin at Walter and instantly felt her hackles go up. "Melvin, what are you doing?"   
  
Melvin either chose to ignore her, or had instantly gone deaf to the sound of her voice because he didn't respond. He put his left foot behind the right one, shuffling it in a shy manner on the floor, while he walked his fingers up the buttons of Walter's shirt. "Now remember Mr. Shields," he intoned in a high-pitched voice, obviously pretending to be Serena, "I don't want to see you doing any work during our vacation. This is supposed to be you-me-and-the-baby time, not you-and-your-work time. I want every single waking moment devoted to me! ME!"  
  
"Don't worry, baby, it's all about you," Walter crooned, getting into the game by making his voice deeper in a decent portrayal of his son. Serena just glowered at them.  
  
"Damn right. It's so great to be friends, isn't it, Mr. Shields?" Melvin asked, batting his eyelashes at Walter wildly.  
  
Walter took Melvin's hand into his own and stared deeply into his eyes. "The best of friends," he replied seriously. Serena rolled her eyes until she was convinced she would be able to see the wall behind her. "We'll be friends as long as we live. Nothing but friends."  
  
"Oooh!" Melvin trilled. "You say the sweetest things, Mr. Shields." Melvin swatted Walter's arm coquettishly. "You're giving me goosebumps."  
  
  
  
"Well here, little Melvin, let me warm you up with my devilishly handsome looks and equally dangerous smile. Shall I lift one eyebrow, or two?" Walter asked, demonstrating by raising his eyebrows comically. Serena groaned and held a hand to her forehead in an attempt to block out the scene before her.  
  
"Ooh, you rascal, you!" Melvin let loose a squeal, followed by a laugh that seemed more like a cackle.  
  
Isabella shrieked, trying to copy her grandfather by raising her own brows but only succeeding in making her eyes bug out. Melvin and Walter threw their heads back and laughed at Serena's face, which was getting redder and redder by the moment.  
  
"We are NOT like that!"  
  
Melvin, too busy laughing, slapped her jovially on the back, causing her to stagger a few steps. Serena turned to Walter desperately. "Tell him!"  
  
Walter managed to control his laughter and turned to Melvin. "I guess we're wrong, Melvin." Serena began to smile triumphantly. "I guess two people who have a daughter together; haven't had a date with anyone else since they conceived their child; who spend almost every spare moment they have with each other; hold hands and make moony faces at each other; sneak glances at the other when they think no one's watching and going to spend Valentine's Day with each other at a wedding, no less; can't be more than just friends. It's clearly impossible."  
  
"That's right," Serena agreed a little weakly. "We're just friends."  
  
Melvin nodded solemnly. "How could I mistake all the little private jokes you two share; all the senseless arguments you have; the laughs and the tears; for love? Surely, it can't be possible for two people who have so much in common to be in love."  
  
Serena stared at them with narrowed eyes as they walked out the door. 'It's not true!' she thought stubbornly. 'I'm not in love with Darien. We're just friends, no matter what those two say. We're just friends...aren't we?' She continued to gape at the door until a banging broke through her stupor.  
  
It was Isabella banging her plastic spoon on the high chair tray, trying to get her attention. "Ma-ma," she cried before turning her bowl over high above her head, spilling her mashed carrots all over herself.   
  
"Ma-ma," she wailed helplessly, big, fat tears running down her face. She began patting her head, spreading the orange goo to her hands and hair. The more she tried to clean herself off, the more she made a mess of herself. Isabella stared at her hands in despair, her lower lip trembling, and threw her head back, crying even harder.  
  
Despite the ear-splitting racket, Serena had to struggle to keep herself from laughing at her daughter. She grabbed a paper towel and began cleaning Isabella off. "It's your own fault, you know," she chided Isabella gently. Isabella only cried harder.   
  
"It's ok, baby, Mama's here," she soothed her baby's frayed nerves as she carried her upstairs for a bath.  
  
Isabella hiccupped and snuggled against Serena's neck. "Ma-ma."  
  
Serena only smiled.  
  
******************  
  
"Serena? Serena?"   
  
"Huh? Did you say something?" Celeste lifted her eyebrow speculatively.  
  
"You've been staring at that clock for the past fifteen minutes now. I've had to clean up after my own bridal shower," she kidded.  
  
Serena's eyes widened as she looked around her living room that had been the site of a rowdy bridal shower held in Celeste's honour. Serena, being the maid of honour, took it upon herself to host the party and had invited all of Celeste's friends from her college heydays and from the hospital. It had been a fun afternoon, full of girl bonding punctuated by laughter, mostly when each woman shared anecdotes of her funniest moments regarding her significant other.  
  
"I'm sorry, Aunt Celeste. If you want, you can toss all that garbage on the floor and I'll pick it up," she suggested lamely. Celeste laughed and picked Isabella up from her playpen, whirling her around until their faces got red from laughing so hard. Serena smiled at Isabella's happy expression.   
  
"Excited much?"  
  
Celeste stopped twirling Isabella around and set her back down in her playpen. "I don't know; you tell me," she smirked.  
  
"What're you talking about?" Serena asked in confusion.  
  
"Like I said, you've been staring at that clock for the past fifteen minutes." Celeste tied a knot securely at the open end of the garbage bag by her feet. "Say, isn't Darien's plane going to touch down in about an hour?" she asked coyly.  
  
"Actually, it's landing in about an hour and twenty three minutes," Serena replied automatically. Seeing Celeste smile triumphantly, Serena covered her mouth as if to stop any more words from escaping her mouth. It was too late, however, for her aunt got that look in her eye that made Serena want to run for her life.  
  
"Oh really?" Serena gulped.  
  
"Yeah..." Not wanting to be bombarded with any more questions, Serena picked up the garbage bag and hurried to toss it outside. When she got back, she found her aunt still standing in the same spot, looking as if deep in thought. "Aunt Celeste?"  
  
"What are your feelings for him, Serena?"   
  
"I-I don't know," she replied, taken aback. Seeing her aunt's stern look, Serena looked down. "I don't know," she repeated.  
  
"Do you love him?"  
  
"I don't know."  
  
"Serena..." Celeste said warningly.  
  
"I don't know! Walter and Melvin were asking me the same questions two days before I left but I still don't know. I admit it, I care about Darien Shields. A lot. We've helped each other mature as parents and as friends." Serena looked out the patio doors and into her snow-covered backyard.  
  
"Do you want to love him?" Serena inhaled sharply at Celeste's soft question.  
  
"I-I don't know." Serena began digging her big toe into the soft carpet, not looking Celeste in the eye.  
  
Celeste sighed. "Ok, how does Isabella feel about him?"  
  
Serena lifted her head and smiled broadly, glad that the focus shifted off of her and onto her daughter. "Oh, she just adores him. They bonded so quickly after we went to live in California that it's like they were never separated at all. They have this game where Isabella lies down on her back with Darien's arm stretched up high above his head. Then, as he slowly brings his hand down, he wiggles his fingers and makes roaring sounds like he's a monster or something. When Isabella starts laughing, he brings his hand down to her tummy and starts tickling her. They can do this for half an hour sometimes, until I have to be the bad guy and scold Darien for getting Isabella too excited to take a nap. Sometimes I feel like I have two children," she told her aunt fondly.  
  
Celeste smiled but chose not to say anything. If Serena refused to see what everyone else saw, who was she to point it out to her? "When are you going to go to the airport?" she asked instead.  
  
"I should get going. If I leave now, I should just make it to the airport before his plane lands. C'mon Isabella, time to go see daddy," Serena cooed. Isabella clapped her tiny hands and laughed happily.   
  
She had missed Darien terribly during this past week. For the first few days, she would do nothing but cry before going to bed and pointing to Darien's picture on her dresser. When Serena couldn't get her to bed on their first night back, she had to resort to calling Darien and letting him sing her softly to sleep. This became a nightly ritual, as Serena would call Darien at home before putting Isabella to sleep and all of them were happier because of it.  
  
Serena could remember the nightmare of trying to separate Isabella from Darien when their plane to Toronto was on its final call for passenger boarding.   
  
Isabella simply refused to release Darien's shirt from her iron claw grip. Shouting at the gate attendants that she was on her way, Serena finally had to wrench Isabella's surprisingly strong hands away, give Darien a hurried, yet chaste, kiss on the cheek and run to the dour-looking lady at the counter carrying Isabella's carrier all the way. Isabella turned her head back just before they entered the tube that would allow them to get on the plane, saw Darien waving goodbye and immediately threw her head back in a torrent of tears that didn't end until they landed in Toronto.   
  
For almost five hours, Serena sang to Isabella, carried her up and down the aisles and even scolded her to no avail. There were brief lapses of silence between the tears when Isabella was just too exhausted to cry but as soon as she was rested enough, she would go at it again with renewed vigor. When the plane finally touched down and Serena got their baggage after going through customs, she immediately thrust Isabella in her car seat over to Sammy, who had taken the day off from work to pick them up, and ordered him to quiet her down or else she would start crying herself. Isabella didn't recognize Sammy anymore but upon hearing the voice that had spoken to her over the phone every week for almost four months, she finally stopped crying and broke out into a lopsided grin.  
  
Serena felt like kissing Sammy's feet in gratitude as they made their way out into the frigid February air and into the parking lot.   
  
"Well, we're off Aunt Isabella," Serena announced after bundling up Isabella and herself in various winter apparel. "So you're staying at the hotel tonight, right? What time do you want us there tomorrow to help you get ready?"  
  
"Well, our hair appointments are at ten, the makeup is at twelve after we grab something to eat, and we have to get to Casa Loma by one just to make sure the wedding starts on time. Why don't you and the girls come to the hotel at nine?" Celeste suggested. The girls she was referring to were the close friends she had chosen to be her bridesmaids.  
  
Serena nodded. "Will do. Is Robert going to stay at the hotel with you tonight?" she asked suggestively, winking at her aunt.  
  
"Serenity!" her aunt gasped, pretending to be in shock. "You know that I would never let a man have my virtue before I have uttered my vows and we are in wedded bliss."  
  
Serena snorted derisively. "Yeah, and I was a princess in my former life. Robert's had what's left of your 'virtue' ever since your third date."  
  
"People in glass houses shouldn't throw stones, Serena dear," her aunt retorted teasingly. Serena responded in turn by sticking her tongue out and blowing her a raspberry, which Isabella promptly tried to imitate.  
  
"So are you going to be here when I get back?" Serena questioned. Celeste nodded.  
  
"I'll be here. I have a few questions I'd like to ask Isabella's father," she replied. Serena groaned.  
  
"Aunt Celeste! You promised!" Seeing Celeste's face take a hard look, Serena did some fast thinking. "Don't lower yourself to Candace's level by giving Darien a hard time while he's here. He's already made amends with me, and I with him, so there's no reason to uphold this grudge on my behalf. Please, Aunt Celeste!"  
  
Hearing Candace's name caused Celeste's face to twist into a scowl. "Fine. But the second I see him treating you any less than the wonderful person you are, I am going to be all over him like white on rice," she warned ominously.  
  
Serena nodded vigorously. "Thanks Aunt Celeste. I really appreciate that. Well munchkin, time to go get Daddy," she told the little girl, who grinned in reply. "Say bye to Aunt Celeste."   
  
"Bye sweetie," Celeste said, waving bye to her great niece. To her delight, Isabella opened and closed her fist in her rendition of a wave. "Take care, you two. The roads are slippery from the snow last night."  
  
"We will. See you later."  
  
*********************  
  
Serena tapped her foot impatiently on the floor outside Gate 32 J, Terminal 2, waiting for Darien to make his way out from baggage claim. She had been waiting for the past half hour, watching other passengers emerging from the frosted glass doors, pushing their carts loaded with baggage and rushing into the arms of whoever was waiting for them on the other side.  
  
"What's taking your daddy so long?" she murmured into Isabella's ear. "He's only staying a week, not a year. You think he packed too much?"   
  
Isabella stuffed her fist into her mouth in her mouth.   
  
Suddenly, the doors opened and Serena looked up expectantly. Her face broke out into a grin as she saw Darien standing in the doorway with a medium-sized piece of luggage on wheels, and a folded bag, obviously carrying his tuxedo for tomorrow's wedding. He smiled when he spotted them and began to hurriedly walk in their direction.  
  
"Hi," he said, smiling down at Serena and Isabella, who immediately raised her arms up, imploring him to carry her. Serena smiled and handed her to Darien, who happily swung her into his arms and showered her with kisses.  
  
"How was the flight?" Serena asked casually, still rooted to her spot.  
  
"The flight was fine. A little turbulence and the food sucked, but other than that, it was fine," he replied just as casually. They gazed at each other awkwardly before lowering their eyes to the floor.  
  
"I missed you," they both blurted out at the same time. Darien grinned while Serena blushed, before he pulled her into a bear hug.   
  
"Isabella missed you so much too," Serena told him after he set her down. Darien kissed Isabella on the nose.  
  
"Did you miss daddy? Did my little girl miss her daddy?" he questioned in a baby voice. Isabella scrunched up her nose, earning her a laugh from Darien.  
  
Serena eyed his black wool coat speculatively before nodding her approval. "I'm glad you decided to bring a heavy coat. It smells like it's going to snow in a few days."  
  
"It smells like it's going to snow?" Darien raised his eyebrow, challenging her to come up with an explanation for that seemingly far-fetched statement.  
  
"Yes, it smells like it's going to snow," she replied testily. "You know how you can just tell when it's going to rain by the humidity and the smell of the air? Well, same thing applies before a snowfall, only instead of humidity, it gets insanely cold."  
  
"Remind me why I came here again?" he wondered out loud as they headed toward the exit. The automatic doors opened and they were hit with an icy blast of wind that had Darien shivering despite being wrapped up in his coat, scarf and leather gloves.   
  
"Aren't you cold?" he asked, taking in her cherry red, calf length wool coat and knit gloves.  
  
"Yep," was the flippant reply as she led the way to the parking lot. "I'm used to it, though. You're just being a wimp."  
  
"I'll have you know that I was in Toronto for three weeks four years ago on business," he informed her as they reached Serena's car.  
  
"Oh really? Then I guess I won't have to play tourist guide for you." Serena gave one last tug on the seatbelt holding Isabella's car seat before closing the door and sliding behind the steering wheel. Darien slid in beside her and fastened his seat belt.  
  
"Well, actually, I didn't really go anywhere while I was up here. I was pretty busy with work and stuff." Serena paid the parking attendant and was soon on the road to the highway on-ramp.   
  
"So, you didn't go out? At all?" Darien's cheeks reddened and Serena looked at him enquiringly.  
  
"When I wasn't in a meeting, I was in the hotel room." Serena switched lanes and turned the heater up to defog the windshield.  
  
"You stayed in your room all night?" Darien shifted uncomfortably in his seat.  
  
"I had a girlfriend at the time..." Suddenly Serena understood.  
  
"Ah." An awkward silence engulfed the car and they said nothing for a few minutes as Serena concentrated on driving the car through the snowy highway. Serena's thoughts were racing a mile a minute.  
  
'Why did he have to bring his girlfriend in my city? Why do I care that he spent practically three weeks holed up in his hotel room with an undoubtedly beautiful girl? Well, he can just kiss my ass because I don't care. He can do whatever he wants. I _don't_ care. This is me not caring.' She inhaled deeply and flashed Darien a brilliant smile which he returned hesitantly, wondering what was going on in her head. 'See? Not caring.'  
  
Serena got Darien's attention when she saw a familiar landmark. "See that underpass we're about to go through?" Darien nodded. "That's where Isabella was born."  
  
"Really?" Darien strained his neck to look out the window, glad the unpleasant moment was behind them. "Which side?"  
  
Serena pointed slowed down to the minimum speed and pointed to a spot they were fast approaching. Darien watched the appointed spot until they passed it, even craning his neck to its limit.   
  
"You gave birth to our daughter in an underpass?" he asked incredulously.   
  
"Uh, I recall telling you about that fateful day a while ago," Serena pointed out.  
  
"I know, but I just didn't realize that it was an underpass." Serena decided to let that comment slide.  
  
"Well it's not like I had any choice in the matter."  
  
"I know you didn't. I just wish I could've been there with you." Darien sighed and gazed at the passing scenery out the window.  
  
"Well, I'm just glad that I sprung for the leather seats when I bought this puppy," Serena told him matter-of-factly, affectionately patting the dashboard. "Can you imagine how hard it is to get placenta out from upholstery?"  
  
Darien made a face and turned around in his seat to check on Isabella, who had fallen asleep with Loopy in her arms. "Up until now, I can't imagine I've ever given much thought to those stubborn placenta stains, seeing as I have no way of producing a placenta because I don't have a uterus. Question: I know that leather's stain-friendly but did you sterilize the backseat?"  
  
"Of course I did! Well, I didn't actually do any cleaning because I was in the hospital, so I made Sammy clean it up. He says he used every cleaning product he could think of that wouldn't damage leather, including vinegar and boiling water." Serena chuckled. "He was pretty pissed when he came to visit me the next day. Sammy said he got placenta juice on his jeans and he had to throw them out."  
  
They continued to chat about their respective weeks until Serena began to pull into her street. "Robert's bachelor party was last night. Aunt Celeste said they went to one of those places that's like an arcade for adults because it's sort of like a bar. Robert spent a hundred and fifty dollars trying to win a bear for Aunt Celeste but she said she wouldn't have paid more than five dollars for it."  
  
She pulled into her driveway and parked the car. "Well, we're here. Good luck."  
  
Darien cast her a worried look. "Good luck?"  
  
"Aunt Celeste isn't leaving the house until she sees for herself that you've reformed your evil ways." Darien's brow knitted in worry and he regarded the tiny bungalow with apprehension.  
  
"Thanks for the well-wishes. I have a feeling I'm gonna need it." Serena patted him consolingly on the arm as he unbuckled his seat belt. "Remind me again why I came here?"  
  
*************************  
  
Darien sat patiently in his seat with Isabella on his lap, watching as bridesmaids in spaghetti-strapped, deep red, chiffon dresses glided down the aisle on the arms of men in tuxedos. He turned his head from side to side, partly in admiration of the conservatory in the turn-of-the-century Gothic-style castle, partly to get rid of the crick in his neck-the result of sleeping on a rickety sofa bed. When he questioned Serena on why she didn't unfold the bed the last time he was there, she smirked and said, "because you made me mad."  
  
Finally, Serena walked down the aisle in a red dress similar to the bride's maids, although hers was strapless and had an intricate beadwork pattern on the bodice. Her shoulder-length hair was held back on either side of her head by jeweled clips and her make-up was minimal. Darien thought she positively sparkled.  
  
Apparently, he was not the only one who thought so, for Isabella stood up on her chubby, unsteady legs, right on Darien's thigh muscles, and began waving frantically to her mother. "MA-MA!"  
  
Serena's face was as red as her dress as she whipped her head around and saw Darien struggling to shove a teething ring in Isabella's mouth. He smiled sheepishly at her when he caught her eye. She blew her daughter a kiss and quickly walked past them with a smile upon her lips. The crowd laughed, although some of the more conservative guests, i.e. Robert's mother, frowned in slight disapproval.   
  
As soon as Serena reached the altar, the music changed and the wooden doors opened, revealing Celeste in a sleeveless ivory ball gown that gradually darkened into shades of red starting at her mid-thighs until it eventually became the deep crimson of Serena's dress. The guests gasped at her bravado for breaking the tradition of wearing virginal white, then began murmuring appreciatively. She wore a wreath of red miniature roses in place of a veil and a bouquet of red roses cut short and tied into a neat bundle with an ivory silk ribbon. Celeste beamed as she got just the reaction she wanted from her guests and her husband-to-be, who, despite his frowning mother, was grinning from ear to ear. On her arm was Sammy who had the honour of giving her away, seeing as he was Celeste's closest living male relative.  
  
Darien could hardly believe that Celeste was forty-three years old in that dress. If he didn't know her, he would have sworn she was in her early thirties. He couldn't believe that this blushing, stunning woman was the same woman who had practically tanned his hide the night before with her piercing questions before finally releasing him to Serena's custody to recover.   
  
The minute he had walked in the door, Celeste had insisted on talking privately with him for two hours, banishing Serena to her room, grilling him until he practically wanted to collapse from sheer exhaustion. If it wasn't for Robert dropping by unexpectedly, Darien had a feeling that Celeste would still be questioning him, wedding or no wedding.  
  
Robert, a man Darien had begun to like in the brief hour they had spent talking while Serena and Celeste prepared dinner, entertained him with stories of his youth as the son of Italian immigrants in 1960s and 70s Toronto. Celeste would cast sidelong glances at Darien throughout the night, sizing him up as he played with Isabella before dinner, or helped Serena clear the table and put Isabella to bed. He felt as if one false move in front of Celeste Adams would get him deported faster than an illegal alien who had tried to sneak across the border in the back of a lettuce truck. Finally, at the end of the night, Celeste had looked him up and down and offered him her hand.   
  
"I'm still not so sure about you, Darien, but as long as you keep up what I've been seeing tonight and make my niece and her daughter happy, I won't have a problem with you." She frowned sternly at him. "But make no mistake, you hurt my sister's daughter one more time and not even your money could save you from my wrath."  
  
Darien gulped and nodded his head, unsure whether it was ok to speak. He casually wrapped his arm around Serena's shoulders and gave her his assurances that he'd do everything in his power to make sure Serena and Isabella lived happy lives.  
  
Celeste reached the altar and handed Serena the bouquet to her and Sammy took his place behind Robert and his groomsmen. The priest began to extol the virtues of love and the sanctity of marriage for a good fifteen minutes when Darien felt eyes boring into his forehead and saw Sammy standing up at the front behind Robert's brother, who was serving as his best man. Apparently, Sammy wasn't in a forgiving mood even though he had made countless apologies to the man already.   
  
'Well, who the hell does he think he is, trying to intimidate me,' Darien sniffed scornfully. 'I've already apologized to Serena and to him, even though what happens between his sister and I are none of his concern.'   
  
Sammy's eyes narrowed into slits as Darien stared back at him. He fixed his eyes back to the altar, ignoring the man his sister had stupidly let back into her life, and decided to keep quiet for now. He would have plenty to say to Darien Shields another time; it was his aunt's day now and not even Shields could anger him enough to ruin it for her.   
  
The guests watched with bated breath as Celeste and Robert exchanged vows and rings. Finally, the priest smiled at the expectant crowd and uttered the two sentences they, but especially Robert and Celeste, had been longing to hear.   
  
"And now, by the power vested in me by God and the province of Ontario, I now pronounce you husband and wife. You may now kiss the bride."  
  
The guests sprang to their feet in mad applause as Celeste and Robert sealed their union with a kiss hot enough to melt the icicles hanging from the eaves and windows outside. Serena could be seen wiping happy tears from her face as Celeste lifted her leg behind her one minute into the kiss.  
  
"Let me introduce you all to Mr. and Mrs. Roberto Mastriani." Celeste and Robert pulled away from each other a bit winded, but otherwise extremely happy. They walked hand in hand down the aisle followed by the wedding party and led the way to the ballroom to let the party begin.  
  
***********************  
  
The ballroom was decorated beautifully with red roses and hearts everywhere. Round tables with red and white tablecloths were interspersed around the room, leaving space for the dance floor in the middle. A private table for two had been set up for the bride and groom at the front of the room underneath a canopy of climbing roses, providing them with privacy which at the same time allowed them to view their guests easily from where they sat. Darien could see why the canopy came in handy; it seemed to him that they were caught in a lip-lock every five minutes.  
  
The five-course dinner had been served hours before; the speeches made by Serena and Robert's brother, and whoever else wished to 'warn' the bride of her new husband's eccentricities; the cake cut and served. Celeste and Robert had their first dance, and, seeing as her father was no longer living, Celeste danced with Sammy while Robert danced with his mother.  
  
At Darien's table sat Isabella in her high chair between Serena and himself; Amy and Zach, who had been able to get the weekend free after much string pulling at their respective hospitals; Sammy and Mika, who sat directly across from Darien; and Raye, Kayla, and Justin, who completed the circle. It had been slightly awkward at first, considering that Justin and Darien sat beside each other, but Zach helped the situation along by recalling his college days when he and Darien had played in their varsity football team, sparking a debate between the three of them on whether football was a 'manlier' game than softball, which happened to be Justin's sport of choice.  
  
Sammy sulked beside Mika, who could only smile at Serena apologetically when he completely ignored anything Darien had to say until eventually, Darien didn't bother trying to strike up a conversation with him.   
  
"Are we all having fun tonight?" the DJ crooned into the mike. The crowd cheered enthusiastically. "Great. It seems that we have a request from the bride herself and she's dedicating it to three certain girls who know who they are. Anyway, here's what Mrs. Mastriani calls the 'Sixties Medley.'"  
  
"Oh sistahs," Serena, Raye and Ami crowed simultaneously when they recognized the familiar beat of 'Dancing Queen,' and hooked their pinkies together before pushing back their chairs.  
  
"Oh brother," Sammy groaned and Justin rolled his eyes. The three women headed to the dance floor without a backward glance.  
  
"What's going on?" Justin grinned at Darien, who had been watching the entire exchange in confusion.  
  
"It's the 'Sixties Medley.' Every time we go to a club, they request 'Dancing Queen,' 'YMCA,' and 'Stayin Alive' in the same order. They say it's their bonding ritual and forbid men, including their dates, from dancing with them during the 'Medley.' They're crazy," Justin finished, shaking his head in amusement. "They've been doing this since our high school days when Raye and I were just dating."  
  
Darien watched as Serena and her friends danced with each other through all three songs. She swayed to the music, her body doing wicked things to Darien's senses. He blushed when he caught Sammy giving him an evil glare.   
  
Serena, Raye and Amy danced to all three songs with a wild abandon they thought they had lost with the coming of adulthood. They were the centres of attention in the room and they knew it, and what was more, they loved it. The crowd on the dance floor unconsciously parted to create a circle around the three women singing at the tops of their lungs. They laughed, sang and danced their hearts out. Then, all too soon for Serena, the last song ended and Amy and Raye were heading back to their table.   
  
"Besides, Justin looks like he needs a little help with Kayla," Raye explained, casting a glance at Kayla, who had begun to cry because Justin was trying to put her down in the playpen that Celeste had thoughtfully had the wedding coordinators place next to their table for the only two babies invited to the wedding.   
  
"Fine," Serena pouted, also heading off the dance floor when the familiar strains of a reggae song pumped through the loudspeakers. "After this song," she amended.  
  
Darien had never seen anyone dance as hypnotically as Serena. She let the song move her body, rather than letting her body to the music. Her body complemented the music; each beat was accentuated by every move her body made. Even her eyes became part of the dance, sometimes closing them to let her other senses guide her through the music.  
  
Suddenly, the hair on the back of Darien's neck rose as he watched a man sidle up to Serena and rested his hand on her waist, pulling her close. By the surprised and annoyed look on her face, Darien surmised that Serena had not given him an invitation to do so. His assumption was proven correct when Serena stared at him pointedly over the man's shoulder, gesturing wildly.  
  
"Help me," she mouthed, rolling her eyes and used her finger to show Darien where his help was needed, which was the back of the man's head. He laughed out loud when he saw what finger she was using. He picked Isabella up and carried her with him to the dance floor.  
  
"Hey Sere," he smirked. "Somebody missed you."  
  
"Ma-ma." Darien smiled proudly at Isabella. He mentally promised to buy her a car on her sixteenth birthday.  
  
"Mama?" Serena grinned wolfishly at him and took Isabella in her arms.  
  
"That's right. Um, Steve, right?" The man nodded weakly. "This is Darien Shields and our daughter Isabella." Steve eyed Darien up and down and decided that his date looked decidedly lonely sitting all by herself at their table. Besides, it was hard to miss Darien's broad shoulders and lean build under his tuxedo, even under the dark lights.  
  
"Oh man, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to move in on your territory," Steve stammered. Darien crossed his arms across his chest and bowed his head slightly, as if he were a king granting a boon. He watched Steve scamper back to his date before turning to Serena.  
  
"Now that the rodent problem's been taken care of," he wrapped his arm around Serena's waist, "what do you ladies say to a dance with yours truly?"  
  
Serena responded by moving her hips to the music. She held Isabella in her arms and turned so that her back was pressed against Darien's chest. He didn't miss a beat.  
  
"I'm in love with a man, nearly twice my age," Serena sang in time to the song. She laughed happily as Isabella kicked her legs up. She happened to glance at her table and saw Sammy glaring at them with a murderous look in his eyes that didn't bode well for Darien. She rolled her eyes. She was a big girl and she didn't need her little brother trying to act like her father. One of these days, she knew she would have to have a talk with Sammy, and he wouldn't like what she would have to say.  
  
They danced until the upbeat song ended and a slower song came on. Serena gasped softly as she recognized the familiar piano tune. She twisted around until she was facing Darien again with Isabella sandwiched between them.   
  
"Hey Dare, remember this song?" she asked softly, not wanting to break the mood. Darien murmured in reply as he danced Serena on the spot.  
  
"Yeah, it's the first one we danced to at the hospital ball." They continued dancing in silence, recalling the events of that night so long ago.  
  
"Um, I hate to interrupt you," Serena and Darien groaned when Raye's shrill voice cut through the soft music, "but do you think I could take Isabella to the playpen? Kayla's been kinda lonely and she's been asking Justin if 'Izzybewa' could come and play with her."   
  
"Sure Raye," Serena replied, handing Isabella off to her. "We'll be back after this song is done if you and Justin want to take a turn."  
  
Raye nodded absently and dashed back to the table just as Amy was returning from a brief visit to the DJ. "Do you think she noticed me?" Amy asked worriedly, sliding into her seat.  
  
"Nah, I think she was too wrapped up in Darien's arms to notice anything that went on right now. You could drop your panties in the middle of the room and fling it to the crowd and she still wouldn't notice."  
  
"Maybe she won't notice, but I will," Zach replied, nuzzling Amy's neck. She turned and smacked him on the shoulder.  
  
"Raye, don't encourage him," she admonished, her face turning bright red. They laughed.  
  
"So where did you get the idea to request this song?" Raye asked.   
  
"This is their song." Raye's eyebrow quirked up.  
  
"I wasn't aware they had a song."  
  
"Well, they don't officially have a song but this was the first song they danced to at the hospital ball after rejecting other wannabe partners from both sexes." Amy grinned. "I should know; I was watching them almost the entire time."  
  
Zach pouted. "And here I thought it was me you were watching all that time."  
  
"Well, I did say almost, didn't I?"   
  
Meanwhile, Serena and Darien danced on, oblivious to their friends' discussion.   
  
"Darien," Serena whispered in his ear.  
  
"Yeah?"  
  
"These shoes are killing me." Darien chuckled and pulled Serena closer until the length of their bodies were firmly pressed together.  
  
"So why don't you take them off?" Serena sighed and slipped her shoes off and held them by their ankle straps before slipping her arms around Darien's neck.  
  
"Oh God," she groaned. "They hurt even more."  
  
"Do you want to sit down?" Serena shook her head.  
  
"No. I haven't danced for a long time; I'm not about to let a little pain stop me from having fun." The last word was croaked out as she winced. Darien gripped her around her waist and lightly pulled her up, setting her feet on top of his, forcing her to stand on tiptoe.  
  
"Better?" Serena smiled in appreciation.  
  
"Much."  
  
"Look at those two," Raye said, pointing at the pair on the dance floor.   
  
"Now he's even carrying her!"  
  
"Darien's lucky Sammy's too busy with Mika to notice," Zach chuckled. Amy agreed in her own silent way.  
  
Justin turned to Isabella, who was busy being tickled by Kayla in the playpen. "Hey honey, I think your parents are ignoring what's right in front of their faces." Isabella giggled helplessly under Kayla's barrage of tummy blowing. Justin turned back to the table and wrapped an arm around his wife, kissing her gently on the cheek, glad to have made her blush for once. "Yeah it's too bad; they don't know what they're missing."  
  
**************************  
  
"Oh man, what a party," Serena announced to the empty house as she walked in the front door. Darien followed her a few steps behinds carrying a sleeping Isabella, wrapped up in her coat and Darien's scarf covering her face. Serena took off her coat and held Isabella while Darien took off his. "Let's put this party animal to bed."  
  
They tiptoed to Isabella's nursery, quietly talking about the reception. Serena placed Isabella gently in her crib while Darien tucked Loopy in her arms. Then, just as quietly as they entered the room, they left, leaving the door slightly ajar behind them.   
  
"So," Darien began, taking off the couch cushions to unfold the bed, "what do you plan on doing with your 'door prize?'"  
  
Serena wrinkled her nose as she stared at the bouquet laying on the coffee table. Just before Celeste and Robert were leaving the party for their hotel room, she had called all the single women to the dance floor for the bouquet toss. Serena, being goaded into participating by Amy and Raye, grudgingly went after glancing at Sammy's furious glare and deciding it would be worth making a fool of herself to just piss him off. Darien just sat idly in his seat, leaving the decision to her.   
  
She stood at the very back of the crowd just as she had done at Amy's wedding, only this time, when Celeste had tossed the bouquet, the crowd parted like the Red Sea and Serena was left with no choice but to catch the flowers as they came dangerously close to hitting her in the head. She stared at the bouquet and then up at her aunt's twinkling face; she had been set up.   
  
"Congratulations Sere," her aunt beamed. Serena and Sammy scowled as the crowd burst into applause.   
  
"I don't know, maybe I'll have the thing preserved." It was an expensive bouquet; after all, roses don't come cheap on Valentine's Day.   
  
Darien had finished laying out the bed and flopped down tiredly on the mattress. "So how are your feet holding up?"  
  
Serena slipped her shoes off and sat down beside him. "They hurt like the dickens. I swear, why don't men have to wear this stuff?"  
  
Darien chuckled and used his index finger to lift a discarded shoe by its thin strap. "I don't think my big toe can fit into this, let alone my whole foot." He picked up the other shoe and looked at it speculatively. "Why don't you just throw them away?"  
  
Serena grabbed her shoes from him and hugged them protectively to her chest. "Are you kidding? These are my favourite pair!"  
  
"Ah, it's good to know where your priorities lie." Darien shook his head in amusement s Serena eyed him warily, gripping her shoes tightly. "Don't worry, Serena; I won't touch the shoes."  
  
Serena sighed with relief and carefully set her shoes down on the floor. "So, I figured that since we'll still be kinda tired from the wedding and you from jet lag, we could wake up late and go downtown in the afternoon so I could show you around. Raye offered to watch Isabella so we won't have to worry about her."  
  
"Sounds good to me." Darien loosened his tie and took off his jacket, taking out the cufflinks. Serena offered to let him change in her room while she brushed her teeth and washed her face in the adjoining washroom. "So where are Celeste and Robert going for their honeymoon?"  
  
He could hear Serena pause in her brushing. "They're gonna stay at the hotel tonight because their flight to Paris isn't until tomorrow afternoon." Although the toothpaste in her mouth muffled her voice, Darien was able to understand what she said.  
  
"I thought they were going to Barbados?" Serena rinsed her mouth out with water before responding.  
  
"They were but Aunt Celeste thought it would be more romantic for them to honeymoon in the 'City of Love,' being married on V-Day, and all."   
  
"That's too bad. Celeste in a bikini...."  
  
"Hey! That's my aunt you're talking about!" Serena stormed out the washroom in her pajamas only to be met by Darien in his boxer shorts and nothing else. She stopped abruptly, a flush creeping up her face. "That's-that's my aunt you're talking about," she repeated weakly.  
  
Darien took note of her eyes roaming up his body unashamedly. He held back a laugh as he slipped a shirt over his head. Sometimes she was so obvious, especially when she was trying not to be. "I was going to say before I was so rudely interrupted, that I now have a basic idea of what you'd look like when you get to that age."   
  
He leaned in close to Serena's ear. "And let me tell you, I'm looking forward to it."  
  
Serena felt her stomach flutter at his close proximity and the implied meaning of his statement. She cleared her throat nervously. "Yes...Well. Um, good night, Darien."  
  
"Good night, Serena. Pleasant dreams." He sounded as if he was daring her to do just that. And so, having thrown down the gauntlet, Darien kissed her on the cheek just underneath her eye and walked to the door. "Happy Valentine's Day."  
  
She could only nod in return.  
  
*********************  
  
It was their last day in Toronto and Serena had somehow managed to convince Sammy and Mika to come over for a late lunch. It had been a magical week where Darien and Serena, sometimes accompanied by Isabella, let loose and forgot about the world around them. She went over the week's events that to an outsider would seem minor but to her seemed life altering as she chopped the onions for her famous spaghetti.   
  
She sighed happily. When did this happen? But then again, she knew exactly when it happened and she did nothing to stop it. Nor did she want to. She saw it coming straight for her with the speed of a runaway train and welcomed it with open arms. In fact, she quite enjoyed it. It was her little secret, one that she had been holding back since the day it happened. She grinned at the onions that were causing her eyes to burn and thought they were the most beautiful things on earth.  
  
She reflected on the day after Celeste's wedding; she and Darien had been in downtown Toronto doing a little window-shopping when they came across an outdoor skating rink that had two crescent-shaped buildings behind it.   
  
"This is Nathan Phillips Square. That's the city hall." She pointed to a castle-like structure across the street from it. "That's the old city hall. Now it's just used as a courthouse. The skating rink turns into a fountain during the summer."  
  
"Hey, you wanna go skating?" Darien asked all of a sudden. "All this walking is making me cold. Let's get some exercise."  
  
Serena gazed at the rink thoughtfully. "I don't know, Darien. I haven't skated since I was 14 and some kid almost ran over my hand with her skate after I fell. I've been afraid to skate ever since. I don't even think I'll remember how to."  
  
"Nonsense, it's just like riding a bike. I've never ice skated before but I have rollerbladed. I'm sure it's the same principle." He grabbed her hand and pulled her unwillingly across the street. "C'mon, I promise I won't let you fall."  
  
"You sure about that?" They had reached the skate rental booth. "I don't know, Darien..."  
  
"Don't worry." He paused to tell the man shivering behind the counter their shoe sizes. "Besides, you live in Canada; skating should come naturally since it snows here practically all year round."  
  
Serena snorted. "Yeah, I can do triple axels in my sleep."  
  
Darien just flashed her a mischievous smile that she found infuriating as he dragged her to a bench to put their skates on. "I just hope they cleaned these things after they've been returned," she continued, wrinkling her nose as she laced up her skates tightly.  
  
They stepped out on the ice gingerly, letting themselves get used to the smooth surface before attempting to glide forward. After a few stumbles on both their parts, Darien and Serena got a slow rhythm going.  
  
"See? It's not so bad," Darien pointed out.   
  
"I guess," she agreed slowly, nervously eyeing a teenager on hockey skates circling around the rink with no consideration for his fellow skaters. Darien had taken off his gloves and shoved then in his pocket before lacing his fingers through Serena's glove clad ones.  
  
They skated around the rink a few times, slowly building up speed until Serena was comfortable enough to relax. Just as she released his hand for one second to zip up her coat, the teenage boy she had been watching a while ago knocked into her as he skated backwards.  
  
"Sorry!" he called, already gone before Serena even realized that she was falling. Suddenly, visions of someone running over her hand with their skate filled her head and she cried out in alarm.   
  
Almost as soon as she had fallen on the hard ice, Darien, who had not been   
  
clipped by the reckless skater, dropped down to his knees and slapped his bare hands on top of hers.  
  
"Are you ok?" he asked breathlessly. Skaters whizzed by as he yanked off her gloves and inspected her hands. "Ten fingers, no blood. I think you'll live."  
  
Serena could do nothing except stare at his hands. She couldn't believe it; although she had gloves to protect her hands in case her fear became a reality, he didn't. He protected her without giving it a second thought to his own safety, and she realized that he always would. That was when she knew; perhaps she had known it right from the very start and had been too cautious to acknowledge it.  
  
She was in love.   
  
She was purely, utterly, and hopelessly in love that she felt foolish for not seeing it before. For not seeing what others have been pointing out to her already. She quickly realized that the depth of this love was even stronger than the old one she felt when she had first met Darien Shields. Maybe they didn't know each other on the same level that they knew each other now or maybe their initial attraction had mostly been based on lust. Either way, she knew with her whole heart and soul that the love she felt for Darien now went beyond whatever it was she felt for him before she came back.   
  
"Serena? Are you ok?" Darien asked, concern etched upon his face when she just stared at her hands in shock.   
  
Serena beamed. "I'm fine. Let's go home."  
  
And so, that was how she rediscovered her love for the man whom she had given up all hope of ever loving again. What made it all the more delicious was that she was the only one who knew-well, she and Isabella, for she had confided her secret to her daughter as she was bathing her in the kitchen sink the other night.   
  
For the rest of the week, Serena had devoted to letting herself just experience and enjoy her time with Darien with a curiosity born out of wanting to know more about the man she loved. She watched how he played with their daughter, ate his food, walked down the street, listened to his voice as he talked excitedly about building a snowman on the front lawn after a heavy snowfall. She memorized every nuance of his face when he wasn't looking and once even tiptoed to the living room late at night to watch him sleep. She watched him for an hour and wondered what he was dreaming of that had him smiling softly in his sleep. She hoped it was about her. Every day she discovered something new about Darien and she loved him even more for it.   
  
They had gone to a ski resort just 45 minutes away from Toronto with Raye, Justin and Kayla a few days ago because Justin won free passes in an office pool. Not being an avid skier, Serena opted to stay with Kayla and Isabella at the bunny slope. Raye and Darien, both excellent skiers, had tried cajoling her into trying some steeper runs with them but Serena remained firm in her decision.   
  
"It's just like riding a roller coaster," Darien pointed out. "I know you like riding those."  
  
"It's one thing for a vehicle to propel my body to go up and down at breakneck speed, it's another thing for my body to actually be that vehicle. Thanks, but no thanks. I'll be quite safe on the bunny hill. Besides, who will watch the kids if we're all going skiing?" Serena smirked when the others reluctantly agreed and headed to the bunny hill, pulling the children in a sled.  
  
"Hey Bunny!" Darien called behind her. Once again, Serena felt her stomach do some flip flops. She mentally schooled herself to look nonchalant.   
  
"Yeah?" she asked coolly.  
  
"We'll be back in two hours. We'll meet you at the lodge." Serena nodded and watched as the three of them headed for the ski lift.  
  
Ever since that day, Darien would call her Bunny every time they were alone. Though she didn't quite act like it on the outside, inside she was doing cartwheels of joy every time the word bunny would pass his lips. At first, Darien said it teasingly to get a rise out of her but as the days wore on, Serena noticed that his voice got huskier and more serious each time he said it.   
  
Serena smiled through the tears that blasted onion was causing. She had a feeling that things between her and Darien would change once they got back to LA and it was for this reason alone that she couldn't wait to hop on Darien's jet tomorrow and fly back to California.   
  
"What are you smiling at, Bunny?" Darien had walked up behind her unnoticed and whispered her new nickname in her ear. Serena fought to repress the shiver of delight that wanted to run through her body.  
  
"Oh nothing," she replied lightly. "I'm just looking back over the week thinking about how much fun I had. Contrary to your opinion, the bunny hill provided the girls and I with loads of entertainment." She smiled mysteriously. "And I can't wait to go back home."  
  
"I thought you were home." Serena blushed as she realized her slip and rushed to fix the damage. She wasn't ready to let him in on her secret yet, even if he did play an integral role in it.  
  
"Well, I live there right?" She turned around to face him. "Right?"  
  
Darien chuckled. "Right."  
  
And suddenly, it was as if their eyes were drawn to each other's lips by some cosmic force. They moved closer to each other until Darien's lips were just a breath away from hers. All Darien had to do was lean over just a little bit more...  
  
The doorbell rang signaling Sammy's arrival.  
  
Darien and Serena let out frustrated groans and chuckled. 'Damn Sammy; how does he always know?' Serena thought as she tried to compose herself. The doorbell rang again five times in rapid succession. "Ugh, I hate it when people do that. Can you get the door, Darien? Prince Sammy is here."  
  
Darien walked to the front door, thinking about how grateful he was that he was an only child and how he wanted to break Sammy's finger. He threw open the door and forced himself to smile at the scowling face of one Sam Mathis and his lovely, although undeserved, girlfriend Mika.  
  
"Hey Sammy," Darien said in what he hoped was a friendly voice. "Hello Mika. C'mon in."  
  
"Shields," Sammy acknowledged.   
  
"Hi Darien." Mika blushed at Sammy's rudeness. Darien didn't seem like such a bad guy and Serena had forgiven him so didn't see any point in staying mad at him too. "How did you like Toronto?"  
  
Darien took their coats and hung them on a coat rack. "It was great; Serena's a great tour guide. It's too bad that you two couldn't join us when we went to the CN Tower; Isabella loved it up there."   
  
"Some of us have jobs, you know," Sammy replied, walking to the kitchen and leaving the conversation behind.  
  
Mika winced and shot Darien an apologetic glance, which he received with a smile. Together, they followed Sammy to the kitchen where he was already playing with his niece.  
  
"Hey gorgeous! Oh, and hey to you too, Serena," he added as an afterthought. "How's my favourite niece doing?" Isabella giggled helplessly, answering her uncle's question.  
  
"Hey Sammy," Serena replied grumpily, chopping the oregano and parsley viciously as she imagined all the ways she could fillet Sammy with a knife.  
  
Sammy and Mika sat around the table with Isabella while Serena made the spaghetti sauce and the garlic bread and Darien tossed the salad, the only thing she would let him help her with, and made conversation about their respective weeks. Sammy, just as talkative as his older sister, told stories about the people in his workplace, only including Darien in the conversation to give him little jabs about his reputation as a ladies' man. Finally, after telling a story about an editor who liked to seduce every secretary in the building and alluding to the fact that he reminded him of someone he knew, Serena slammed down her wooden spoon on the stove.  
  
She stalked over to Sammy and grabbed his ear. "We need to talk. Now." She tugged on his ear hard to send him a message that she wasn't kidding. "Darien, watch the sauce for me? Keep stirring it and lower the heat after two minutes."  
  
"Sere, let go of my ear!" Serena gave no indication of listening to him as she yanked Sammy towards the front door.   
  
"Put on your coat," she ordered, releasing his ear as she zipped hers up. Sammy sighed and did as he was told.   
  
When they were outside, Sammy noticed that Serena's eyes were narrowed into little slits and her jaw was set firmly. "Listen Serena, I know you don't think this, but the guy had it coming."  
  
"Sammy," she advanced on him slowly, "stop being such a shit disturber."  
  
"What?! I'm a shit disturber? Are you sure you haven't mixed me up with Shields? Listen, Sere-"  
  
Serena jabbed a finger in Sammy's chest. "No, you listen Sammy. I swear to God, if you do anything to screw this up for me, I'll never forgive you."   
  
"What?!" Sammy was shocked that his sister would choose a guy who has caused her so much heartache over her own brother.  
  
"All my life, I have given up tiny bits of myself to make other people happy. I let Jake rape me so he wouldn't rape mom or hurt our family; I let men use my body for their pleasure because I was seeking security that I never found with anyone before; I had to be the strong one when mom first got sick because you couldn't handle the pressure and would run away." Serena's hands were clenched and she took a few deep breaths to calm herself down.  
  
"So what do you want, a medal?" Sammy crossed his arms over his chest.  
  
Serena sighed. "You know I did those things for you and mom willingly and I would never ask you to feel guilty for me."  
  
"So what do you want?" he pressed.  
  
"I want to be happy for once!" She threw her hands up in the air and laughed bitterly. "I want to do something for me without having to feel selfish for doing it. I want my family. The one that I've always dreamed of since I was a little girl."  
  
"So you're just doing this for Isabella's sake?"  
  
"No! God, you are so thick sometimes, you know that? As selfish as this sounds, my wanting to love Darien and to be loved by him has nothing to do with Isabella. It's about me and what would make me happy." Serena pounded a fist to her heart to emphasize her point.  
  
"You're being selfish you know. What if he's a horrible father to Isabella?"  
  
"Have you taken a good look at Isabella lately? She was miserable when Darien was still in California and she hasn't stopped smiling ever since. He's a great father, Sammy; he reminds me of Daddy." Her eyes softened as she remembered her father.  
  
Sammy snorted in contempt. "The day that man is anything like my father is the day I jump over the moon. How dare you compare that womanizer to our father?"  
  
"I didn't mean to compare Daddy to how Darien was like before. I just meant that Darien's love for Isabella is just the same as Daddy's love for us. He loves Isabella with his whole heart, Sammy. You don't know him like I do."  
  
"That's right because I don't want to know him at all. You're a glutton for punishment, you know that? What makes you think that he won't turn around and hurt you again?" Serena lowered her eyes to the ground.  
  
"Because I love him and I know he loves me. I know it from the way he speaks to me and acts around me; from the way he loves Isabella; from the way he's tried to put up with your shit, that he loves me. He's changed and I just wish you could see that. I'm not asking you to love him like a brother, I'm just asking you to treat him with respect because like it or not, he's going to be a huge part of your life because he's a part of mine. I'm sorry but this time, I have to choose for me and what's going to make me happy, even if it means you won't be happy."  
  
Sammy sighed in defeat. "Fine. I'll go along with this but that doesn't mean I'm gonna like it. Just don't come crying to me if he hurts you like I know he will."  
  
"Don't worry, I won't because I know he won't."  
  
******************************  
  
They tiptoed through the great mansion quietly so as not to wake anyone up. It was two thirty in the morning, after all. Serena and Darien had to fly on a commercial airplane instead of using the private jet like originally planned because Johnson's mother in England had a heart attack. Upon hearing the news, Darien had graciously let them have use of the corporate jet while he booked plane tickets for himself, Serena and Isabella. First class, of course.  
  
Because of a sudden snowstorm that threatened to stop all air traffic in and out of Toronto, their flight had to be delayed until further notice. The three of them hung around Pearson International Airport for a good three hours until the runways were cleared and the wings of the plane were de-iced. They didn't get to leave the airport until well past midnight, Toronto time.  
  
Wearily, they trudged up the stairs of the Shields mansion quietly, leaving their luggage at the bottom of the stairs to be picked up in the morning. Darien carried Isabella up to her room with Serena following him closely in the dark.  
  
Once in the nursery, Darien laid Isabella gently in her crib and walked Serena to the door separating the nursery from her room. "Serena," he said with unusual pensiveness, "I have to tell you something."  
  
Serena lifted her eyes to meet his. Even in the dim light provided by the moon, she could see that his eyes turned a darker blue like it did every time he was being serious. "What is it?" she breathed.  
  
"Ever since yesterday when our kiss got interrupted, I've been wanting to try again. I need to kiss you again, Serena. I need to finish what we've started." His voice hardened as he tried to control himself.  
  
Serena smiled at him softly. "Who am I to deny a person in need?"  
  
That was all Darien needed to hear before his lips captured hers in a kiss that went beyond anything he had ever experienced before. He gently touched his tongue to her lips, asking her to let him in. She willingly obliged by parting her lips and seeking out his tongue with her own.   
  
They kissed hungrily for God knows how long before Darien tore himself away to explore her neck. He trailed soft kisses down her jaw and paused at her chin, planting lingering kisses that had her moaning softly, before moving down to her throat.   
  
He felt her pulse quicken as he lapped at the hollow of her throat with his tongue. Her fingers raked through his hair and she applied gentle pressure to let him know she was enjoying his ministrations.   
  
That was when he caught a whiff of her perfume; a soft, floral scent mixed with a touch of citrus fruit that he just couldn't identify but for the life of him seemed very familiar. His lips left the base of her throat to follow his nose, so to speak, to the spot on her neck just under her ear.   
  
He delved into her soft skin, wanting to taste her, not wanting to leave until he had identified what the mysterious fruit was. His lips were tenacious yet gentle as he had his fill of her. He gently tilted her head back to allow him greater access and was rewarded with a moan.  
  
"Darien," she whispered. "What are you doing to me?"  
  
He couldn't answer for his mouth was busily working at making her pulse quicken. Darien noticed that the scent got stronger as her skin heated up so he concentrated on making her blood flow more rapidly by using his tongue to arouse her even more.  
  
Serena leaned against the door and wrapped a leg around the back of his knee for support. Her hands wound around his neck and she arched her back, pushing her breasts against him. Whatever he was doing to her felt great and she didn't know if she had the strength to hold herself up much longer. She strangled a cry when she felt him gently nipping at her skin with his teeth.  
  
"Darien..." Her breaths were coming short and she ground her pelvis against his hardness. "Darien..."  
  
'Just one more taste,' he told himself, totally lost in his desire. He wasn't sure when his hand, which was resting on the small of her back, dipped into the waistband of her jeans and panties and began caressing the soft skin under there nor was he sure when his other hand had worked its way up Serena's shirt and began cupping her breasts through her bra.  
  
"Oh my God, Darien..." Serena began to tremble in his arms as she felt herself approaching her climax. She soared to the clouds and her vision burst into a magnificent display of colour and light, making her feel like she was in a kaleidoscope.   
  
Slowly, she felt herself coming back to earth where she felt a gentle kiss on her lips. She sighed contentedly into his mouth before gently pulling away.  
  
"That was incredible," she stated, pecking his lips again. Noticing that he still needed to find some relief, she smiled at him a little nervously. "Do you want to come in?" she asked tentatively. She wasn't sure she wanted to make love to him just yet, not until she had told him in words how she felt about him.  
  
Darien must have sensed her uneasiness because he shook his head ruefully. "I think I let that kiss get out of hand. Make no mistake though Serena; I want to make love to you like I have never wanted to make love to anybody else before. I want to always make you feel the way you did just now and I want to hear you scream my name when I do. But I want our first time to be just right; I want to give you something that no one's ever given you."  
  
Serena blushed at his words and gestured pointedly at the crib. "I think our first time together has come and gone."  
  
Darien tilted her chin up and gave her a soft, lingering kiss that threatened to melt her body. "I recall you saying a while ago that 'it doesn't count if you don't remember.' I prefer to think of that time as a practice run that I had miserably failed. Besides..."  
  
"Besides what?" Serena swallowed as he drew her earlobe between his lips.  
  
"Besides, I want a chance to take you out like a proper gentleman should. I don't just want to make love to you, I want us to wait until the perfect moment before we commit our bodies to each other again. I want to go out on dates with you; I want to show you the world and I want to show you off to the world."  
  
Serena was ready to promise anything as long as he continued doing that to her earlobe. She moaned softly, briefly remembering that Isabella was still asleep. "Well if that's what you want, you'd better stop touching my breast before I jump your bones."  
  
Darien chuckled and Serena felt the vibrations in her earlobe. She shivered with delight. "Darien, I'm serious. If you keep doing this, I'm not sure how long I'll be able to hold out before I tie you to my bed and never let you leave." She took his head and pulled it into a kiss.  
  
They kissed for another five minutes before Darien finally pulled away. "Alright, I'd better go back to my room and take a shower. Good night, Serena. We'll talk in the morning."  
  
She watched him leave the room before she opened the door and entered her own. Almost casually, she went to her washroom to wash her face and change into her nightgown. She walked to her bed and dove into it like she used to do when she was a child and she was excited. She squealed into her pillow and kicked her legs up and down. Finally, when she thought about how silly she must have looked, she worked her way under the covers and let sleep overtake her, dreaming about a certain man across the hall.  
  
************************************************************************  
  
September 25, 2002  
  
Finally! Sorry for the lateness but I've got school and it really sucks. This goes out to SaturnStar who has been waiting patiently (or impatiently) for this chapter as it was promised to her for her birthday. Sorry I couldn't deliver in time.   
  
Oh, before I forget, because of my academic obligations, the updates will be few and far between but don't worry, I'll be working on the next chapter every chance I get! Thanks for reading and please leave a review.  
  
PS: if your name happens to be Thomas Gibson and/or you live in Sacramento, please know that I just made up that name and I'm not accusing you of being a child molester. 


	17. Milestones

************************************************************************  
  
Wounded Souls  
  
Chapter 16-Milestones  
  
By: crystal rose  
  
Edited by: ladysolo  
  
October 18, 2002  
  
*******************************  
  
Serena woke up late the next morning, tired from their late arrival from the airport the night before yet at the same time, giddy with nervous energy. Nervous was an understatement; Serena felt as if she had swallowed a jarful of Mexican jumping beans and only until she saw Darien would she feel at ease. That is, if he still felt the same way this morning as he had the night before. Serena could feel her heart thumping anxiously against her chest at the thought. What if he was just caught up in the moment and he never meant those words, those lovely words she had spent all night building her hopes upon? She didn't think she could live with his rejection again.   
  
She shook her head to clear it of her negative thoughts. No, Darien had promised her it was going to be different this time around. She wouldn't think along those lines, she couldn't afford to. Maybe, she told herself, if her heart and mind were at one in this matter, her doubts wouldn't plague her so. Her mind kept telling her to approach this new stage in their relationship with caution while her heart whispered assurances of happiness just around the bend for her. She didn't know which voice to listen to; she didn't want to get hurt again.   
  
Serena slid out of bed, donning her slippers and padding around the room in search of clean clothes to wear. She might as well face the future, be it with Darien or without, but she would be damned if she was going to open that door without taking a shower first. There were just some things one couldn't put off and taking a shower on one of the most potentially important days of her life was one of them. If Darien did the unthinkable and rejected her love, then at least she would be clean to receive the blow and some semblance of her pride would be spared.   
  
It was pathetic, she knew, but cleanliness was the only thing Serena felt she had to offer Darien, especially after her confession the night before of the things she had done to make her feel so unclean.  
  
She stepped into the shower and let the warm embrace of steam and water work its magic on her frazzled nerves. She watched the water flowing down the drain, a visual metaphor of her worries. Ever so slowly, Serena felt herself starting to relax, telling herself to trust in Darien's word and his love. But there was always that little voice telling her that he had hurt her countless times before and it was just a matter of time before he did it again. She shivered despite the hot water pounding on her back. She always felt the most vulnerable when she was naked.  
  
Twenty minutes later, Serena emerged from the washroom clean and somewhat refreshed, ready to face the inevitable.  
  
"Good morning, beautiful." Darien's quiet voice in the silent room seemed oddly muffled and Serena dropped the hairbrush in her hand. When her eyes fell on the baby monitor by her bed, she realized that Darien was in the nursery talking to Isabella.  
  
She heard Isabella over the baby monitor giggle. "That's good, sweetie. Does my little princess need a new diaper?"  
  
She felt the corners of her lips curl up into a smile. Even if things never worked out between the two of them, Serena knew that Isabella would have a wonderful father who would always be there for her whenever she needed him.   
  
"Remember that little talk we had in Toronto?" Darien's disembodied voice asked. Serena listened curiously, silently wondering what Darien was talking about. "You remember when mommy had to get ready for your great-aunt's wedding and I was giving you a bath in the sink? I told you that I thought your mommy looked so beautiful in her dress and you agreed with me."   
  
Isabella babbled nonsensically in the background. "See, you do remember. You were just trying to fool your daddy, weren't you?"  
  
Serena found herself smiling at Darien's 'conversation' with Isabella and could almost see him in the nursery, twirling one of Isabella's curly locks around his finger with a serious look upon his face as he talked to her. He loved playing with Isabella's hair almost as much as he loved playing with her.  
  
"Well, do you remember me asking you what I should do and you told me to tell her I loved her?" Darien paused, waiting for a reply that wouldn't come. "Well, I didn't really tell her yet because we got...distracted." He stopped talking again and Serena's heart began to pound as she wondered what he would say next.   
  
"Listen honey, I don't want you getting 'distracted' until you're old enough to...well, let's just say I never want you to get distracted like me and your mommy did last night until I say so, okay?"  
  
Serena laughed at Darien's overprotective nature when it came to their daughter. She could already tell that Isabella would have problems in the future when it came time for her to date. Serena paused, thinking about her own nightmarish experiences when she went out on dates. Maybe being strict with Isabella when it came time for her to jump into the dating game wasn't such a bad idea after all.   
  
Now finished getting herself ready for the new day, she strode over to the nursery door and opened it quietly. She entered the room and saw that Darien was standing by the window, holding Isabella in his strong arms, the morning sun shining on them both. She had to hold her breath at the beautiful scene and had to resist the urge to run back into her room to get her camera.  
  
She was just about to announce her presence in the room when Isabella turned around and did it for her. "Mama!"  
  
Darien turned around as well and saw her standing by the door, looking painfully shy all of a sudden. "Am I interrupting?" she asked meekly, mentally slapping herself on the forehead for sounding so insecure.  
  
"Of course not. Isabella and I were just talking about you," he replied with his usual brand of self-assurance.  
  
"Were you?" she asked, playing along. "All good, I hope?"  
  
"Nothing but the best." In his arms, Isabella began to squirm and reach for her. Smiling, Serena gladly took the baby from Darien and cuddled her close.  
  
"So, um," Serena began hesitantly, "about last night..."  
  
"Yes?" he replied just as hesitantly, a worried expression on his face.  
  
"Any regrets?" she asked softly, shifting Isabella in her arms so that the top of her head was against her cheek, almost as if she were a human shield against Darien's rejection.  
  
Darien stepped forward and lifted his hand to caress her arm lightly, looking deeply into her eyes. "Not one. You?"  
  
Serena let out a breath she didn't know she had been holding and smiled in obvious relief. "No. No regrets." She kissed the top of Isabella's head lovingly, savouring the sweet scent that seemed inherent in babies.   
  
Without a word, Darien took one step forward and engulfed both of them in a hug. Isabella cooed, cheerfully ensconced between her parents.   
  
"I'm so happy," Serena whispered against his chest, her voice wavy with emotion. She felt his arms tighten around them and moved closer to him, careful not to squish Isabella who didn't seem to mind the invasion to her personal space at all.  
  
"So am I," Darien whispered back, resting his chin gently on Serena's head. He stepped back slightly to gaze into Serena's eyes. "I love you, Serena."  
  
'I'm not gonna cry, I'm not gonna cry,' she told herself even as one tear slipped down her face. She smiled at Darien's expectant face and nodded, not able to find her voice just yet. "I love you too," she finally managed to croak.  
  
Darien thought his heart would burst as he gently cupped Serena's face and tilted her head up to receive his kiss. The kiss was loving and sweet with none of the urgency of the kiss they shared last night. It was cut short, however, when Isabella started tugging on Serena's hair, causing her to cry out in pain.  
  
"Ouch, sweetheart! That really hurts, honey," Serena said coaxingly as she pried Isabella's fingers from her hair. Darien chuckled and scooped Isabella up in his arms.  
  
"Does my angel want some breakfast?" he asked, lifting her high above his head giving him access to her tummy, which he started blowing on. Finally, he brought her back down and smiled at Serena. "Shall we?"  
  
Serena nodded and took his arm. "Hey, I just thought of something. What're we gonna tell your parents and everyone else about us?" She looked up at Darien's face, expecting an answer. She couldn't help but see the mischievous glint in his eye. "What?" she asked warily.  
  
"Let's not tell them anything just yet. I kinda like the thought of having a secret romance right under my parents' noses. Makes me feel like a high school student all over again," he explained as Serena laughed wickedly and agreed.  
  
"Minus the acne, of course," she replied wryly when she had calmed down.  
  
Darien raised an eyebrow loftily and walked to the door with Serena in tow. "I _never_ had acne in my entire life, Ms. Mathis."  
  
"Oh, pardon me, _Mr._ Shields," Serena said laughingly, feeling an unfamiliar giddiness that she hadn't felt since she was a young girl. "How could I ever have made such an assumption about the perfect male specimen that is you?"  
  
"Well, you know what they say about making assumptions..." Serena glared at him and pinched his side. "Hey!"   
  
"If you were any type of gentleman, _sir_, you wouldn't finish that sentence." Serena stuck her nose haughtily in the air.  
  
Darien paused mid-stride. "Who said I was?" he asked suggestively, trying his best not to laugh at the petulant expression on Serena's face. Isabella, unaware of her parents' flirtation with each other, cackled and tweaked Darien's nose. The surprise on his face was enough to send both mother and daughter into hysterics as they went down the stairs and into the dining room. Walter and Candace were waiting patiently for the little family to arrive so they could start their morning victuals.  
  
"Well there you three are," Candace exclaimed, not failing to notice the way Serena and Darien entered the room arm in arm. "How was the trip?"  
  
The newly formed couple exchanged glances with each other and smiled Cheshire cat smiles. "It was...pleasurable," Darien supplied. Serena was hard pressed not to blush at the thinly veiled innuendo.  
  
Walter narrowed his eyes thoughtfully before gesturing with his butter knife towards their empty seats. "Sit down, already. We've been waiting for the three of you to come down so we could finally eat," he informed them impatiently.   
  
Darien set Isabella down in her high chair and began to spoon her baby food into her little dish while Serena grabbed the platter of bacon and served Darien before serving herself as if it she had been doing it all her life. Darien smiled at her in appreciation. "Could you get me some..."  
  
"Uh huh." Serena grabbed the pitcher of orange juice and poured Darien a glass. "Oh Darien, Isabella's..."  
  
"Got it." Darien bent down to pick up Isabella's fallen sock from the floor and put it on her foot.   
  
From across the table, Walter shot Candace a bewildered look and Candace had to smother a laugh with her linen napkin. They watched as Serena and Darien ate their breakfasts all the while talking softly to each other.   
  
When Walter couldn't take their mysterious behaviour any longer, he wiped his mouth with his napkin and once again waved his butter knife at them. "All right, what's going on with you two?"  
  
Darien looked up from the conversation he was having with Serena about Isabella's upcoming doctor's appointment and smiled inwardly. "What do you mean, Dad?" he asked, masking his gleeful face with a look of innocence that would have made a serial killer proud.  
  
"You've got that 'I know something you don't know' look on your face," Walter pointed out irritably before turning on Serena. "You. What do you know?"  
  
Serena looked like a deer caught in the headlights. "Me? I-I don't know anything," she squeaked nervously, running her fingers through her hair. She winced, knowing that her stammering was a virtual admission of her guilt. She shot Darien an anxious glimpse out of the corner of her eye. To her annoyance, she saw that Darien was grinning smugly not only at his father, but also at her. A swift kick in the shin took care of that.  
  
Walter stared at her for a minute. "Why do I find your so-called innocence hard to believe?" He was staring so intently at her that Serena found it hard to swallow.   
  
"Um...I don't know what you're talking about, Walter." She flipped her hair over her shoulder in an effort to look nonchalant. Serena noticed Walter's eyes flicker to her neck before widening considerably.  
  
"Well, I'll be damned," Walter said softly, pointing his trusty butter knife at Serena's neck.  
  
"Dad!" Darien yelled as Walter's knife hovered dangerously close to Serena's jugular vein. 'What's gotten into him?'  
  
"Walter, what _are_ you doing?" Candice frowned at her husband in disapproval. He really couldn't stand it when someone knew something he didn't.   
  
"This," he replied in a mysterious voice as he used the knife to lift a strand of Serena's hair that was resting by her neck to reveal a red mark about the size of a coin. The smile on his face was triumphant as Darien's jaw dropped to the floor.  
  
"Darien!" Serena exclaimed when she caught her reflection in the mirror across from her, smacking Walter's knife away from her neck and covering up the mark with her hand self-consciously.  
  
Walter grinned victoriously at the two before him. "So, anything you want to share with us?" Darien exhaled loudly and cursed to himself. There just wasn't any fooling when it came to the old man.  
  
"Fine. We're...going out, right Serena?" The lady in question nodded her head dumbly and smiled wanly, reaching over Isabella's high chair to take Darien's outstretched hand. "We didn't want you guys to find out this way..."  
  
"You didn't want us to find out at all," Candace finished for her son. "Why did you feel you had to hide this from us?"  
  
"It's not that we were hiding this from you, Candace," Serena reassured the woman she was just starting to reconcile with. "We just wanted to keep this private for a little while. We've got to get to know each other all over again."  
  
Walter waved the knife around dismissively until Candace reached over and yanked it away from him. "What's to know? You two love each other, right?" By their red faces, Walter knew he had his answer. "So?"  
  
"Dad, butt out, would you? I haven't even taken Serena out on a date yet," Darien replied testily, not appreciating the fact that his father of all people was meddling in his love life.  
  
"So what's stopping you?" Walter pressed.  
  
"Yeah? What _is_ stopping you?" Serena asked Darien sternly, a pout on her face. "Do you realize that we've _never_ gone out on a single date? Ever?"  
  
Darien squirmed uncomfortably in his seat, well aware that three pairs of eyes were watching him intently--well, four, if he counted Isabella, but he had a sneaking suspicion she was only looking at him because he was holding the next spoonful of mashed bananas in front of her face and wasn't budging. "So, why don't we go out tonight? How does dinner and a movie sound?"  
  
"It sounds cheap," everyone heard Walter mutter.  
  
Darien, Serena, and Candace groaned and threw withering glares in his direction, which he promptly ignored, opting instead to butter his long-neglected toast with the butter knife he pilfered from Candace's side.  
  
"I promised Serena that I would give her everything she missed out on when she was trapped in her old life. What could be a more quintessential first date than dinner and a movie?"  
  
"What a lovely idea, son," Candace beamed proudly.  
  
"Serena? What do you want to do?" Darien inquired belatedly.  
  
Serena's eyes glowed with happiness as she nodded her head. "I think that sounds wonderful, Darien," she replied almost shyly.  
  
"Great. I'll pick you up at seven."   
  
Walter looked up from his toast buttering and rolled his eyes. "For God's sake, you two live in the same house! You talk as if-" He couldn't finish his next sentence for Candace had stuffed his toast in his open mouth and held it there.  
  
"Stay out as late as you want. We'll be happy to baby-sit."   
  
"Thanks, Mom," Darien replied, ignoring Walter's muffled protests.  
  
"Yeah, thanks Candace. We really appreciate it."  
  
"No problem." Noticing that Walter had managed to chew his way out of his edible gag, Candace held up another slice of toast threateningly. "Want another slice, dear?"  
  
Walter said nothing except to offer a disgruntled 'harrumph' to convey his bruised feelings. The three of them smiled and resumed their breakfast in silence, Serena and Darien occasionally sneaking glances at each other when they thought no one was watching, totally oblivious to the two people whose sharp eyes didn't miss a thing.  
  
***  
  
Serena fluffed up her hair once more in a vain attempt to make it look like she had just rolled out of bed and combed her fingers through it rather than spending the last forty-five minutes painstakingly arranging every strand into place. The sad thing was, Serena observed with a sardonic grin on her face, it had taken her an hour and a half to accomplish the feat and she was _still_ unsatisfied with the outcome.  
  
A quick glance at the digital clock on the night stand told her that if some force of nature, like a windstorm or one of those famous California earthquakes, occurred in the next two seconds to keep Darien occupied for another _five_ minutes, she'd have all the time she would need to get her hair perfect this time around.  
  
A sudden sharp knock broke Serena's train of thought and made her realize that the big one-meaning the earthquake she had been foolishly hoping for-would wait another day. Darien had managed to traverse the expanse between their two rooms undeterred and was now waiting patiently-or impatiently if his knock was any indication of his apprehensive state-outside her door. Drat the man for being such a stickler for punctuality. Yet another disadvantage to living in the same house, much less the same wing, as one's boyfriend.  
  
Serena giggled impulsively at that foreign word. 'Boyfriend,' she repeated softly to herself, still unsure that this was truly happening to her. She hadn't had a boyfriend in a little over ten years.  
  
'Wow, ten years,' she thought incredulously as she gave herself the once over in the mirror before striding to the door, the picture of confidence, when inside, she thought her wildly fluttering heart would give out before the night was over. 'Do I still remember the rules?'  
  
Darien knocked again, although this time, rather hesitantly. Serena flung open the door lest he think she had changed her mind about going out with him after all. There he stood, leaning against the doorframe clad in a navy blue sweater that enhanced the colour of his eyes, loose fitting khakis and a black leather jacket.  
  
'What rules?' Serena thought, shamelessly taking in the sight before her. Darien was a man who defied the rules and expected nothing less from the lucky woman whom he chose to be his partner. Besides, what had those infernal rules ever gotten her other than a string of meaningless sexual partners and an ill-begotten reputation that always preceded her?  
  
Aesthetically speaking, Darien looked very much like the bad boy rogues she took a liking to in her wild days, from the still-damp strand of hair hanging impishly over his eyes to the cocky devil-may-care grin on his face. But Darien had something that all her other partners didn't have: a maturity that came with age and self-confidence that came with being content with one's life.  
  
"Hey," Darien said, his eyes roving appreciatively over her body-hugging spaghetti-strapped light pink dress that flowed down to her calves. It was a dress that was casual enough to wear on a picnic in the park yet formal enough not to be turned away from the finest of restaurants. That's what he loved about Serena; she was always able to find a balance that suited her life perfectly. She looked wonderful and he told her so, enjoying the light flush that spread across her cheeks.   
  
"These are for you," he informed her, thrusting a mixed bouquet of white baby roses, day lilies and sweet peas at her from behind his back.  
  
"They're beautiful!" she exclaimed, taking the bouquet and rising on her toes to give him a peck on the cheek. She moved away before he could turn that chaste kiss of gratitude into something more risqué. "Come in while I put these in some water and then we can say goodbye to Isabella and your parents."  
  
Darien stepped over the threshold to her room and sat down in a chair as Serena fussed around, trying to find the perfect place to put her flowers. Finally, after much rumination on her part and many fond smiles on Darien's, Serena settled on placing them on the dresser across her bed so that the ivory pitcher containing her floral prize would be the first thing she saw when she woke up and the last thing before she closed her eyes for the night.  
  
"Shall we?" Darien asked as Serena grabbed a black sweater that was tossed over another chair. Together, they walked to the nursery room door and stepped through.  
  
"Oh, are you kids ready to go?" asked Candace, getting up from the rocking chair upon which she sat.  
  
"Have been for a while," Darien assured her easily, slipping his arm around Serena's waist.  
  
"We just came to say goodbye to the three of you," Serena explained, looking past Candace to Walter and Isabella playing a game on the floor. "I just wanted to thank you for agreeing to watch Isabella for us."  
  
"Nonsense, dear. We're more than happy to watch the baby." Candace swept her hand toward Walter, who was crawling around on all fours, defying his age, and making faces at his granddaughter, who shrieked with glee to prove her point.  
  
Serena walked softly towards them. "Isabella, honey, mommy and daddy are going out for a while, ok? Be good for grandma and grandpa, hunbun." Isabella gave her a distracted look before resuming her game with her grandfather.  
  
Darien chuckled and swooped down to give Isabella a kiss on the cheek, which she hardly acknowledged. "Bye sweetheart. We love you." Isabella gave her parents a dismissive wave.  
  
Serena sighed. Her baby wasn't even a year old yet and she was already leaving the nest. She kissed Isabella on the forehead and rose to her feet. "She's already been fed so all that's left is to bathe her before bed. If something goes wrong, you can reach us on either one of our cell phones. I programmed the numbers on the phone here and in my room." She would've gone on had Walter not stood and picked Isabella up.  
  
"Oh for heaven's sake girlie, we've been through this before with that ruffian you're going out with tonight," Walter said cantankerously. He turned to Candace with an amused look upon his face. "Why is it that all new parents-especially mothers-think that they're the only ones with childrearing experience around for miles?"  
  
"Alright, alright. I can take a hint." Serena rolled her eyes jokingly and kissed Isabella one last time on the nose and was thrilled when her daughter clung to her tightly before releasing her. "Bye, love. We'll be back real soon."  
  
"Not too soon, I hope," Darien murmured under his breath, steering Serena out the door.  
  
As they headed toward the stairs, Serena heard Isabella's quiet whimper. "Mama?"  
  
Serena's heart stopped and she would have fled back to the nursery to cuddle her baby had Darien's hand not clasped hers reassuringly. "She'll be fine, Sere. Mom and Dad are there so she'll probably forget about us after a few minutes. Besides, it's our time now."  
  
Serena nodded after considering his words. "You're right." She took his proffered arm and walked down the stairs with him, discovering for the first time in her life what it felt like to be a lady.   
  
***  
  
Crickets chirped in the night air as Darien pulled his cherry red 1967 Mustang convertible onto a gravel driveway and stopped before a wrought iron gate. It was hidden away from prying eyes by dense foliage that looked as if they have been growing there since the dawn of time. Beyond the gate, a barely discernible path wound its way into a thick grove of trees, its destination a mystery as it disappeared into the night shadows.   
  
"Darien, what is this place?" Serena hissed as Darien jumped out of the car and ran with an almost boyish eagerness to the gate, inspecting the heavy chain that was wrapped around the bars and secured with a heavy-duty iron padlock. Darien had taken her to a wonderful restaurant where they danced to the tunes of a live orchestra before taking her to a movie where, to his amazement and his relief, she had picked a silly comedy over the extremely popular 'chick flick' about a woman's struggle to overcome looming spinsterhood as she approached the ripe old age of thirty. Now that it was approaching midnight, Darien had driven her to a secluded road a few miles away behind the Shields house where there was nothing but trees and grass, belying the fact that they were on the outskirts of Los Angeles and not some idyllic countryside in New England.  
  
"Darien, answer me," she whispered as loudly as she dared, not wanting to attract the attention of anything other than the crickets. She glanced around nervously then dropped her jaw as Darien swung the squeaky gates open with a triumphant grin.  
  
Darien trotted back to the car and eased it through the opening, which was just barely wide enough to accommodate the wide vehicle. Once through, he stopped the car to go back and lock the gates securely. Upon seeing Serena's questioning glance, he smiled cheekily and patted her hand reassuringly.   
  
"This is the boundary of our property. Nobody ever goes here because it's so far away from the house," he explained as he navigated the car through the overgrown path.   
  
"Your estate extends this far back?" Serena asked incredulously, looking around with a new understanding. Here she thought she had already explored the entire property when she first started working for the Shields almost two years ago.  
  
"It does. I don't even think anyone but the landscaper remembers that that gate exists. I asked him to keep this part of the property somewhat in its natural state to give it a 'great outdoors' feel." As he said this, the trees gradually thinned out until they were completely out in the open in a field of wildflowers.   
  
"Darien, this place is gorgeous," Serena whispered in a voice as light as the moonlight dancing on the petals. "I can't believe you never told me about this place."  
  
Darien stopped the car at the end of the path and smiled boyishly, secretly glad that she loved this place as much as he did. "I loved coming here when I was a kid to just get away from everyone." He turned on the radio and found a jazz radio station before reclining his seat so that he was almost lying down.   
  
Serena followed suit and turned on her side to watch Darien looking up at the sky. "What're you looking at?"  
  
"I have no idea. The sky. The stars..." Darien reached up and pointed at a miniscule point in the sky. "See that star? I think it's the North Star."  
  
Serena squinted her eyes and fought to swallow a laugh when it started blinking. "Uh Darien, I think that's a plane."  
  
Miffed that Serena dared to question his fifth grade astronomy skills, he jabbed his finger at the sky as if pointing harder at it would make Serena see what he was talking about. "There. Look there."  
  
"I _am_ looking there, Darien, and I'm telling you, that's a plane." She laughed triumphantly when a tiny red light suddenly appeared beside the 'star'. "See? I told you so." At the risk of looking immature, Serena stuck her tongue out cheekily at him and dissolved into helpless laughs when Darien reached over and caught her in a light headlock.   
  
"Ok, I surrender! I surrender! That yellow, blinking light wasn't a plane; it was a star! And that roaring sound overhead isn't a plane...It's thunder! Yeah, that's it, thunder!"  
  
Darien let his fingers drift down to Serena's side where he began to tickle her. "Lions roar, planes whoosh," he informed her smugly, not that she heard him over her laughing fit.  
  
"Planes don't whoosh," she managed to gasp out between bouts of choked laughter. Serena managed to break free from Darien's light hold and punched him weakly in the shoulder. "They go WwrrrrrrhhhhSShhhhhhh."  
  
Darien threw his head back and laughed at her poor impression of a low-flying commercial aircraft. "You're right; that's exactly what they sound like," he deadpanned, grinning when she pouted in that pretty way that he loved so much. Unable to resist, he leaned over and teased the pout away from her lips using her own.   
  
"You were saying?" he asked when he pulled away.  
  
"I was right, you were wrong," she replied, cursing herself for the breathiness in her voice.   
  
Darien noted the glazed expression in her eyes and grinned. "Uh huh," he murmured, pulling her closer for another kiss. "You think so, huh." He felt her grin against his lips.  
  
"I know so," she replied, surprised at the huskiness of her voice.  
  
From there, no more words were exchanged as they sat in their seats, watching the stars-that-weren't-planes in the night sky and listening to the soft strains of jazz music over the car stereo, holding hands.  
  
***  
  
"How was the beach?" Melvin asked Serena as she bounded through the door with Isabella in her arms, leaving Darien to carry the stroller, beach umbrella, tote bag, backpack and diaper bag.   
  
"It was great!" Serena twirled around in the foyer and laughed when Isabella squealed. Mother and daughter looked well rested, their hair windblown and skin luminous with a hint of a tan.   
  
"It was great," Darien repeated tiredly as he trudged up the walkway, panting with the effort to keep the umbrella tucked under his arm and the tote and diaper bags balanced on his shoulder. He looked far from well rested, Melvin observed with a quiet chuckle. As soon as Darien stepped through the door, he let out a big breath and relaxed his arms, letting everything he was carrying come crashing down on the marbled floor.   
  
"Thanks for the help, Serena. I really appreciate it," he said wryly once he had his breath back. With more drama than was necessary, Darien threw himself on the bottom steps of the staircase and lay himself down with the air of a martyr about to be sacrificed on an altar.   
  
"I'll just put your things away," Melvin informed Darien, his lips twitching in amusement. He picked up one of the bags that Darien had thrown haphazardly on the floor to drop off Isabella's soiled clothes in the laundry room, smiling fondly at the little family. He just hoped that nothing happened to mess up their newfound happiness.  
  
Without saying a word, Serena strode over to Darien, who was enjoying himself as he languished on the steps, and stood in front of him with Isabella on her right hip. "Are you finished yet?"   
  
Darien grinned smugly. "No, I don't think so." He inhaled deeply and stretched, wiggling his fingers exaggeratedly, only to almost bite his tongue off when Serena plopped Isabella heavily on his stomach.   
  
"Oof!" Darien shot Serena a glare that would have intimidated a lesser man and perhaps, had Serena been facing him instead of thumbing through the day's mail, she would have been intimidated as well. Darien pouted and almost laughed out loud when Isabella shrugged, her shoulders touching her earlobes. He planted a kiss on her cheek, scooped her up in his strong arms, and rose from his makeshift chaise.   
  
"Any mail for me?" he murmured in her ear. He knew she was ticklish there and so, in the spirit of being a playful Casanova, took every opportunity to tease her there.   
  
Serena raised her shoulder to her ear to quell the tingling sensation she felt there because of the proximity of Darien's lips to her earlobe. She looked over her shoulder to scrunch up her nose at Darien. "Stop that, you know I'm ticklish there," she informed him primly before turning back to the mail, separating them into piles according to recipient.   
  
"Here's yours," she said, handing Darien his stack of mail and then flipped through hers. Serena shuffled all the bills to the bottom of the pile to be looked at later and came across a white envelope bearing the address of her old high school. She felt a tiny spark of nervousness-the same nervousness she'd feel every time her report card had arrived in the mail-and tore open the envelope, scared that the letter inside would say that she was somehow lacking in credits and therefore hadn't actually graduated high school, nullifying her degree and ending her career as a physical therapist.  
  
She tore through the envelope using her thumb and pulled out a folded piece of cream coloured paper. 'Dear Ms. Mathis,' she read silently. 'You are cordially invited to Lester B. Pearson Secondary School's class of 1994's ten year high school reunion.' She continued to read silently and crumpled up the paper once she was done.   
  
"Why'd you do that?" Serena turned her head and saw that Darien had been peering over her shoulder, reading every word of her letter.  
  
"Do you mind?" she asked, arching her brows in an automatic gesture of self-defense. "I believe that letter was addressed to me, not you."  
  
"So you're not going to your reunion?" Darien asked, deliberately ignoring her question, annoying her even further.  
  
"What do you think?" Serena glared at him and started up the stairs, aware that Darien was still following her with Isabella in his arms. She stalked her way to her room and was about to shut the door behind her when Darien stuck his foot in the doorway, preventing her from doing so. Sighing in aggravation, she opened the door and let him in, narrowing her eyes when Darien plopped down on her bed and began to play with Isabella as she sat on his stomach.  
  
"So, you're not going?" he repeated, tickling Isabella's feet. Serena shook her head. "Why not?"  
  
"I don't want to." She turned away from his piercing gaze and went through the motions of tidying up her already clean room.   
  
"You don't want to see your friends?" he pressed, watching Serena from his spot on the bed.  
  
"I see my friends plenty enough. Amy and I meet up at least once a week for lunch and Raye and I talk on the phone practically every week, not to mention all the emails and chats over the Internet we have. Why should I travel all the way to Toronto just to see them when we practically live together anyway?" She checked her email and sure enough, Raye had written her a note and had sent it to her while she was at the beach with Darien and Isabella that afternoon. "See? What'd I tell you? I just got a reply to the email I sent Raye last night."  
  
"What about your other friends?" Darien pressed on, catching one of Isabella's chubby hands and giving it a light kiss.  
  
Serena shrugged. "What friends? The girls in my school hated me, and the guys just used me. The only friends I ever really had were Amy and Raye and I'm still amazed that they stuck by me even when everyone else cast me aside." The thought of her friends' loyalty brought a soft smile to her face.   
  
"What about your teachers?" Darien asked, instantly regretting that he did. He watched her back stiffen and balled-up hands.  
  
"No. Definitely not." Her voice was edged with steel and her eyes became cold. "That place holds nothing for me but bad memories," she concluded in a soft voice, her features losing their previous tension.   
  
"What about prom? Didn't you go to yours?" he asked, wrapping his arms around Isabella when she lay on his chest.   
  
"I didn't go to mine," she replied softly, tucking a soft blanket around Isabella and sat down on the bed beside Darien. She touched Isabella's curls as the baby watched her sleepily.  
  
"Why?" he asked softly.  
  
  
  
She shrugged, giving him a perfunctory smile that didn't reach her eyes. "My date was a huge jerk who got drunk in the hotel room before we even made it to the dance. I left him passed out on the bed and just walked around town for a few hours because I was too embarrassed to go home. I had such a pretty dress too," she ended a little wistfully.  
  
"Why didn't you just go to the prom without him?" He nuzzled Isabella's head while she slept, her thumb tucked in her mouth. Serena stood up and walked to her dresser, trailing a finger over the surface.  
  
"I didn't want to face everyone without a date. Call me crazy, but I just couldn't face all those girls with their dates, and their perfect hair and makeup, and their little cliques-I just couldn't. I knew they'd all just smile politely at me and then talk about me behind my back. I was the girl who stole their boyfriends, broke up their relationships, or messed up their chances with a boy they liked; they'd have a ball seeing me getting my just desserts." Serena squared her shoulders, turned around and smiled at Darien, and this time, he was happy to see that the melancholy air about her had dissipated.   
  
"I don't need to go back there just to appreciate what I have now. Seeing you and Isabella everyday, spending time with you, knowing that you love me, that's all I need. You two make me feel that I've accomplished something far more important than those girls gave me credit for." She blushed and peered at him through her lashes. "I have to get Isabella's laundry downstairs. I'll be right back."  
  
Darien nodded and waited until she closed the door softly behind her. "So, your mommy's never had a prom. Interesting," he murmured against Isabella's head. "Very interesting indeed."   
  
By the time Serena came back, a small basket of dried baby clothes balanced on her hip, Darien had fallen asleep in her bed, the blanket tucked around him and Isabella. She set the basket down softly and tiptoed to her closet where she kept a camera loaded with film. She fixed the lens and snapped a photo of Darien and Isabella sleeping peacefully and smiled thoughtfully, watching her family with love in her eyes. She set the camera down, crept to the bed and got under the blanket, snuggling against Darien, laying her hand softly on top of his.   
  
She sighed contentedly and seconds later, joined them in their sleep.  
  
***  
  
Music, the clinking together of crystal champagne flutes and polite chatter greeted Serena and Darien when they entered Luna Farrington's mansion. Every year, Luna held a fundraiser gala to promote awareness for the plight of women's rights in third world countries. Serena found it humorously ironic that she was at a party to benefit third world countries while they dined on canapés and caviar. She hesitated before handing the butler her wrap, looking at the door through which she entered as if she wanted to flee.  
  
"Serena?" Darien asked, placing a hand on the small of her back. "Are you okay?"  
  
Serena nodded and the butler, sensing that the girl wanted some privacy, excused himself from the room, her wrap in tow. Once he was gone, Serena swallowed and gestured for Darien to move closer to her.   
  
"Are you sure I belong here?" Darien had to fight to suppress his groan. Serena had been feeling apprehensive about attending the party, worried that she wouldn't fit in. He had tried to ease her worries by buying her the glittery silver dress that she was surreptitiously admiring in a store window when they were shopping for baby clothes. She tried to deny it but Darien could see that she really wanted that dress but was too proud to tell him so the next day, he bought it for her.  
  
While they were getting ready that night, Serena plagued him with her worries about not fitting in with the upper-class crowd, especially after her much-talked about return to the Shields house with Darien's child. Coupled with her insecurities about the way her post-natal body looked in the backless, form-fitting dress with plunging neckline and side slits going up to her mid-thigh, Darien had one hell of a time convincing her to come out of her room when it was time for them to leave.   
  
Now, Darien tilted her chin up with his finger so he could look into her eyes. "Serena, if you really don't feel comfortable being here, despite my assurances that I won't leave your side for one minute, then we'll leave. Just say the word and I'll get the valet to bring the car around."  
  
Well now, Serena felt ashamed for putting Darien into such a predicament. His sincere concern for her well-being made her question her insecurities. After all, what did she care what some uppity woman in a dress that probably cost more than her car back home thought about her relationship, past and present, with Darien?   
  
She smiled at him reassuringly and hooked her arm through his. Patting her hand, he led her into the grand hall where the majority of the guests mingled, making idle chit chat in their finery, a sight that Serena had yet to get used to. Darien looked around the crowded room and waved when he saw his parents who had arrived about a half hour before them.  
  
"Darien dear," Candace said as she kissed his cheek. "I'm so glad that you two are finally here."  
  
Serena smiled politely and looked around the room. Walter came up and offered her his arm. "Hello Walter," she said, giving him a kiss on the cheek. She smiled inwardly when his cheeks turned to a light shade of pink.   
  
Walter tucked her hand into the crook of his elbow securely before leading her to an exquisite marble fireplace-clearly the focal point of the room-followed closely by Darien and his mother. He introduced Serena to the group of men and women belonging to Walter and Candace's country club as 'my son's girlfriend' and patted her hand with a pride akin to that of a proud father. Serena couldn't help but feel touched and the light squeeze she gave his arm told him so.   
  
After about fifteen minutes of superficial small talk, Darien excused himself and Serena and led her to the refreshments table. He had had his fill of 'country club news' to last him a good long while. Besides, he was afraid that his bored fidgeting was beginning to show. After that mind-numbing conversation, he was thanking his lucky stars that he declined-politely-the membership the country club offered him in respect to his father.   
  
"Thank God we got out of there," he muttered under his breath as he grabbed two flutes of champagne from a passing tray. He handed one of the glasses to Serena and took a sip from his own. Pleasantly surprised, he looked at the glass in his hand and took another sip. "That's pretty good. But then again, Luna's always had good taste in alcohol." Looking around discreetly to see if anyone was watching, Darien mimed drinking motions with his hand while Serena smothered her laughter with her hand.  
  
"Stop that!" she scolded lightly, looking over her shoulder. "Someone might see you!"   
  
Darien opened his mouth to say something when he heard a familiar voice that made his blood run cold. "Well, isn't this a small world?"  
  
"Trista! How lovely to see you here." Serena smiled warmly at the dark haired woman in greeting.   
  
"Oh yes. I was pleasantly surprised when I received an invitation last year. It's nice to see you here too. I missed you last year although I saw Darien," Trista said, taking a few canapés and putting them on her plate.   
  
Darien fisted his hands in his pockets. Their night together occurred a few weeks after they saw each other here and about one month before Isabella was born. The thought that he was with Trista while Serena was carrying his daughter sickened him. Of course, Darien was smart enough to know that Trista was baiting him-her defiantly smug expression said it all. Brows furrowed, he wrapped an arm around Serena's shoulder and fixed a look of indifference on his face.   
  
"So what have you been up to, Trista? Still dating Michael Rubeus?" Serena asked unabashedly as she placed her empty glass on another passing tray.   
  
"Oh, we broke up a few months ago. He wanted to settle down and I just wasn't interested. I prefer keeping my options open." Trista's eyes roved over Darien's body as if she were assessing him-or undressing him. Either way, Darien didn't like it. He tightened his hold in what he hoped looked like a casual move and glared at her.   
  
"Oh Serena, you should see our new line," Trista continued. "Our new men's line is to die for." Again, her eyes strayed over to Darien's direction. "Darien, you should come to the shop one day-I'll give you a personal fitting."  
  
Serena had been watching Trista carefully while they were conversing and she couldn't shake the suspicious feeling that she was checking Darien out. Feeling uncomfortable, she scanned the room until her eyes rested upon a pair of familiar faces.   
  
"Oh look, Darien-Andrew and Rita are here. If you'll excuse us, Trista, we simply _must_ say hello." Without waiting for an answer, Serena wrapped her arms around Darien's and tugged him away from Trista and her leering eyes. She had been in Trista's position many times and knew the signs to watch out for. She didn't want to suspect Trista of any wrongdoing but she'd prefer not to take any chances.   
  
"Hey Drew, Rita." Darien pecked a polite kiss on Rita's cheek and gave Andrew a quick, one-armed hug.   
  
Serena hung back, not yet feeling comfortable with Andrew-her former therapist-knowing all her childhood secrets and teenage indiscretions. It was unsettling that one person could know so much about her yet at the same time, know so little. "Hello, Dr. Eis-I mean, Andrew. Hello Rita."  
  
Andrew heaved an inward sigh. Serena was still hesitant every time they encountered each other-a grand total of 3 times since she found out who he really was. She was aloof at best around him and only slightly wary of Rita. He felt slightly insulted on Rita's behalf since she knew nothing about Serena's situation but he kept quiet about it to preserve his friendship with Darien and, admittedly, to regain the trust Serena once had in him. "Hello Serena," he returned politely.   
  
Darien, sensing the discomfort Serena and Andrew were feeling, pulled out his wallet thick with-not money-Isabella's pictures at almost every stage of her development and began to proudly show the off to Andrew and Rita. "See this picture? I took it the day before Isabella started walking." He flipped through more photos while Serena flashed Andrew and Rita a long-suffering grin that belied her amusement.   
  
"Here's the picture of Isabella playing in her bucket-she hates the kiddie pool but she loves splashing around in that old galvanized bucket. Serena put her in there to take her picture and she just took to it. Won't let the gardener have it back..." Serena patted Darien's arm fondly and politely excused herself so she could get a glass of punch. Darien just waved her off and pulled out another wallet to show Andrew and Rita the latest batch of pictures.   
  
Serena chuckled to herself when she heard Andrew groaning as Darien launched into the story of the time Isabella said "daddy". "She says 'Da-EE' but it's pretty obvious what she means..."  
  
She smiled as she ladled out a glass of punch, thinking of that day when Isabella first called Darien daddy. He had been getting prepared to leave the house for work when Isabella all of a sudden blurted out "Da-EE", stopping Darien in his tracks halfway to his car. Had he not been on his way to a very important meeting with an equally important potential client, Serena had a feeling that Darien would've called in sick. As it was, Darien was a half hour late to his meeting and called Serena every hour from work to ask if Isabella said "The Word" again. He must've called the house a dozen times before Candace got fed up and scolded him over the phone.   
  
Serena watched as Trista, on the arm of a man of about 60 years, give or take, walk up to the little group and start conversing with them. She didn't realize her eyebrow rose at Trista's close proximity to Darien or that her fingers tightened around the crystal goblet when Trista lay her hand intimately in Darien's forearm after Andrew seemingly told a funny joke to make everyone laugh. She frowned deeply when Trista let her fingers trail lingeringly over his arm before taking her hand off.  
  
"You see that, don't you?"  
  
"See what, Candace?" Serena went back to sipping her punch, continuing to watch Trista. Out of the corner of her eye, Serena saw Candace turn to her with an incredulous look on her face. She sighed inwardly and faced Candace, carefully concealing all signs of emotion from her face.  
  
"Don't pretend you don't see what's happening over there. That hussy is hanging all over my son-your boyfriend and the father of your child, might I add-in a manner that makes her friendly display highly suspect." Anger flickered in Candace's eyes for a second before she regained control and smiled at a passing guest.   
  
"Candace, Trista is a friend. She no more wants to 'steal' Darien from me than I want to steal that man hanging onto her arm from her." Still, she kept a close eye on the group. Darien was still showing his pictures to Trista's geriatric date.   
  
"How long have you known this friend of yours? If I'm not mistaken, you neither receive correspondence from her nor have you ever had any scheduled outings with her. As far as I'm concerned, the last time you've interacted with this Trista-" Candace said her name with as much disdain as she could muster and continued in hushed tones "-was during that fashion show a _year and a half ago_. Tell me, what do you know about this woman?"  
  
When Serena's face turned red with embarrassment and anger, Candace barked out a cynical laugh. "I'm saying this as the grandmother of your child. Keep a close eye on that trollop and an even closer eye on Darien." She eyed Serena with a mixture of pity and concern. "One would think that a woman of your past would recognize what a woman is capable of when she has her eyes on a man. I imagine no less than what you've done way back when." With that last barb, Candace left Serena alone by the punch bowl to join Walter and their friends by the window.   
  
Serena fumed for a minute or two after Candace's sweeping departure, trying to convince herself that Candace was speaking as a concerned grandmother and not as a condescending bitch. They had been getting along better than they have in a long while and she didn't want to ruin it by arguing with her any further, especially when it appeared that she was right.   
  
When she saw Trista shift closer to Darien on the guise of getting a better look at a picture of Isabella, Serena set down her glass so forcefully that a few drops splashed out and dripped on the pristinely starched white damask tablecloth-'Oh well, they wouldn't use that as a tablecloth if they can't afford to have it cleaned,' she thought absently-and stalked her way to Darien, whose arm she grabbed and pulled him away from the gathering.   
  
"Excuse us, my boyfriend-" she put extra emphasis on the last word "-owes me a dance." She pulled Darien to the dance floor without much trouble and wrapped her arms possessively around him. 'So this is what it's like to be on the other side.'  
  
***  
  
Darien growled and stared at all the papers on his desk, glaring at the walls in his office. It was seven in the evening and everyone in the office had gone home more than two hours ago. Just as he was about to go home, the secretary of the CEO of a major client faxed him the business proposal he had been waiting all day for. He knew he shouldn't have read anything when the papers began spewing out of the fax machine, but he just couldn't resist scanning the opening paragraphs and, to his annoyance, found that there had been a miscommunication between them because the secretary had all the wrong information. Since he had a meeting with that same CEO the next day, he wearily sat down in his leather swivel chair and began reading.  
  
Now, almost two and a half hours later, he was still trying to make sense of the papers in front of him. Being the boss sure had its ups and downs, he decided as he tilted his chair back and placed his feet up on the desk. He was so engrossed in what he was reading that he didn't even notice that someone had walked into his office until he heard a familiar voice that sent his heart plummeting to his stomach.   
  
"Busy?"  
  
Trista stood in front of his desk, hands resting lightly on the surface, fingers splayed, her back arched seductively as she grinned saucily at him. She wore a black trench coat that was cinched loosely at the waist by a belt.   
  
"What are you doing here?" he asked warily, warning bells going off in his head. "How did you get past security?"  
  
Trista smiled seductively and moved around the desk to stand directly in front of him, pointedly ignoring his questions. She gave the belt a little tug, opening the coat to let Darien have a peek at the black garment underneath.   
  
"Trista," Darien said warningly. He backed his chair up even as Trista advanced towards him looking like a cat on the prowl.   
  
With an almost predatory look in her eyes, Trista eased out of her coat to reveal a body scantily clad in a sheer black bustier with a ribbon ruffle trim, from which garters extended to hold her stockings in place, and a matching G-string that had the same ruffled trim across the top. Her breasts, despite being covered up by the bustier, were in full view due to the sheer material and the G-string covered little else. The high heels she was wearing made her long legs look even longer.  
  
Darien averted his eyes, his face flushing with the arousal he felt at seeing a near-naked woman in the room-hey, he _was_ still a man, after all-and the discomfort he felt that the woman wasn't Serena. He opened his mouth to tell her to put her coat back on when he felt soft lips upon his own, swallowing whatever words he was going say.   
  
He squeezed his eyes shut and tried to enjoy the kiss but thoughts of Serena kept pushing to the forefront of his mind. With what little willpower he had, he grasped Trista's shoulders and roughly pushed her away.   
  
"Trista, don't do this."   
  
Trista laughed mockingly at him. "Why, because you're with Serena now?"  
  
A quiet anger burned in Darien's eyes. "Yes."  
  
"That blonde twit couldn't even sleep with you without saddling you with a kid. Face it, Darien-she's trapped you into a relationship you don't want. People like us aren't cut out to take care of little brats like the kid she's stuck you with-" she didn't get a chance to finish her sentence because Darien rose to his feet so quickly, his chair rolled away and hit the wall with a soft thud.   
  
"Listen to me," he seethed, "because I'm only going to say this once. Serena and Isabella are my life." He jerked her arm to pull her forward so he could look at her eyes. Fear had replaced the sexual bravado and Darien was glad because he wanted her to fear him.   
  
"They are my life," he repeated with cold calm. "One of the biggest regrets of my life was the night I spent with you and I thank God that it was cut short when you kicked me out for 'accidentally' saying Serena's name. Talk about a Freudian slip, huh?"  
  
Darien almost felt sorry for Trista when her eyes filled with tears but he wasn't through yet. "Get out of my office, Trista, before you embarrass us both any further."  
  
Sobbing, Trista collected her fallen coat off the floor and held it in her hands. "You're a bastard, Darien Shields. You know what I'll be doing six months from now when you get tired of your little fuck-toy? I'll be laughing my head off as she screws you over in court for every penny you have. I'll-" she didn't get to finish her sentence because Darien gripped her by the arms and shoved her against the wall.   
  
Her scream was cut off when Darien slammed his mouth on hers and forced his tongue past her lips. He kissed her savagely, his tongue tangling with hers so that she almost gagged. He tore away from her, his breathing ragged and his eyes wild with what Trista thought of as passion.   
  
"Did you like that?" he asked in a low voice. His eyes darkened when she nodded, unable to speak. The corners of his lips curled into a mocking version of a smile as he parted her legs with his own. She gasped when she felt his fingers caress her lightly between her legs.   
  
"How about this?" Trista's senses were on fire. Her heart was thumping so loudly she almost didn't hear his next words. "You want to be my little slut, don't you? Hmm? Is that it?"  
  
His words were starting to register in Trista's mind. Confusion swam in her eyes and she tried to push Darien away but he just locked stares with her. "I'll make love to Serena one day and I'll fuck you the next. How's that sound, whore?"  
  
"Let me go." Trista hated how her voice trembled. She banged her fists against his chest but his face remained stony, oblivious to the pain she must have been inflicting upon him. The tears were pouring down her face now but she didn't care-she just wanted to get away from Darien Shields, wanted to forget him forever. "Let me go!" she cried, her voice rising to near hysteria.   
  
Finally, Darien stepped back and Trista burst away from the wall, anxious to get to the door. She almost reached the doorknob when she felt her arm being jerked back. She whimpered as she was forced to face Darien once again.   
  
"You breathe a word of this or the night we had together and I'll make sure you live to regret it." To emphasize his point, Darien tightened his grip on her arm. "It would be a shame if your fashion career tanked when you were just getting started."  
  
"How dare you humiliate and threaten me like this!" she cried in belated outrage. She shrank back when he laughed derisively and released her arm.   
  
"You open yourself up for ridicule when you dress like a hussy and go after a man with no interest. You open yourself up for threats when you deliberately try to cause trouble for a man with a family he loves more than life itself. Now, must I call security to get you out of my life, or must I ridicule your pathetic attempts at seduction?"  
  
"Go to hell, Darien Shields!" Vaguely reminded of the night they spent together when she had uttered those very same words, she yanked the door open and fled into the relative safety of the hallway. Trista could hardly hear Darien's laughter over the sound of her own sobs.   
  
Darien released the breath he had been holding and slammed the door, kneading his temples with his fingers. With brows furrowed, he picked up the phone and pressed a button, linking him to the security office downstairs.   
  
"Yes, this is Darien Shields. There should be a woman with long dark hair wearing a black trench coat running through the lobby right about now. Memorize her face; if you let her in this building _one more time_, you will be out of a job." Without waiting for a response, he slammed the receiver down, effectively ending the conversation.   
  
Driving home, he kept thinking of Serena and Isabella and how the night could have ended so much more differently had they not been in his life. His better half told him that he should be remorseful of his treatment to Trista but his larger half, the half that loved Serena purely and irrationally, told him that he shouldn't waste any more time thinking of a woman who had tried to destroy everything that he treasured with Serena and Isabella. He pushed the button to make all the power windows in the car go down to air out any lingering scent of Trista, despite having scrubbed his skin vigorously with soap and water in his private restroom for a half hour.   
  
He breathed a sigh of relief when he finally turned into the long drive leading to his home, grateful that the day was almost over and that he could see Serena again. He glanced at the LCD display on the dashboard and felt a pang of disappointment. 'Damn Trista,' he thought vengefully as he got out of the car, 'I didn't get to say goodnight to Isabella.'  
  
He entered the quiet mansion and was about to head upstairs to Serena's room when he heard her voice from a long distance away. He paused mid-stride and reversed his direction, heading towards the sound of her laughter. He briefly identified the husky sound of Lita's laughter as the kitchen door swung open and Lita herself walked through it.   
  
Her eyes lit up and would have told Serena that he was home had Darien silenced her with a finger to his lips. Nodding in understanding, she touched his shoulder in a gesture of goodnight and headed to her room, eyes twinkling, her mind no doubt already working on the story she would tell her coworkers.   
  
Serena was standing by the window overlooking the large stone patio, the moon's rays highlighting her features. Darien took a second to let his soul absorb her presence and quietly made his way to her. Before he could slip his arms around her waist, she spoke. "You're home."  
  
Darien wrapped his arms around her and nodded his head. "How'd you know?"  
  
She turned her face to smile at him and offered her cheek up for a kiss. Darien kissed her lips instead. "I saw your reflection in the window," she replied cheekily.   
  
"Do you know, Serena Mathis, how much I love you?" he asked. They stood there, enjoying the nightscape view of the garden in silence save for the occasional cricket outside and the quiet hum of the refrigerator.   
  
"Darien," Serena said after a few moments, "it's almost Isabella's first birthday. Can you believe it?"  
  
"Umm, no," he murmured. "I can't believe half the things she's doing already. She's started to walk, and saying small words. Do you know how much I love hearing her say 'Daddy'?"   
  
Serena sighed happily and snuggled her back against him. After another moment's silence, she spoke. "You know," she said hesitantly, "my maternity leave officially ends a few days after her birthday. It was supposed to have ended last month but I was allowed to extend it to a full year."  
  
"So...what are you saying?" Somewhere in the depths of Darien's stomach, a tiny ball of ice started to form.   
  
"Well, Isabella and I could go back to Toronto and you could visit every once in a while or..."  
  
"Or?"  
  
"We could stay here," she whispered. "I was thinking that if I stayed, I could go back to school and take some courses in psychology so I can counsel kids who have been sexually abused. That is, if I stay." She turned her head to look into his eyes. "What do you think?"  
  
Darien rested his forehead against hers and kissed her eyelid. "I think you'd make a great counselor. Besides, I don't think Isabella wants to stay an only child forever."  
  
Serena gasped softly and closed her eyes, the full extent of Darien's words wrapping around her like a blanket. She opened her eyes to find Darien gazing intently at her and her cheeks flushed a pretty pink. Overcome with emotion, she could only nod her head and blink away her tears. Serena turned herself around in Darien's arms and kissed Darien's lips with all the love she felt in her heart.  
  
"Then we'll stay."   
  
***  
  
"Darien, could you point that thing somewhere else, please?" The exasperation in Serena's voice wasn't hard to miss given the annoyance written all over her face. "I'm trying to dress Isabella and every time she sees that camcorder, she gets distracted."  
  
Darien just waved Serena off with his free hand. "Wave to the camera, sweetheart. Happy birthday, baby."  
  
Isabella's head followed the camera much to Serena's growing frustration. She smiled at the camera and when Darien tilted the view screen, she clapped her hands and laughed. "Love da-EEE!" she exclaimed, grabbing at the camera just as Serena stuffed her into her pink gingham dress. Darien's chest puffed out with pride.   
  
"I taught her that one," he told Serena, as if she didn't already know he spent three hours with Isabella saying the same two words over and over.  
  
"Yes, I know. Now will you please go downstairs and see to it that the decorations have all been put up? And don't forget to call that clown to make sure he arrives at 2 o'clock on the dot. He was a bit sketchy when I told him he had to be here by that time because the birthday girl needs to take a nap right after." She would have ticked off more things for Darien to do had Isabella not interrupted her with a slobbery kiss on the cheek.   
  
"Thanks kid," Darien said cheekily then, hurried out the door when Serena glared at him.   
  
"Love mama," Isabella said, patting her cheek, instantly winning a smile and a cuddle from her mother.   
  
When Isabella was finally dressed and her curls were pulled away from her face with a pink ribbon, Serena picked her up and carried her downstairs.   
  
Now that Isabella had begun walking, the entire Shields mansion had been baby-proofed top to bottom; it now looked more like a daycare than the intended French country chateau. Isabella's lurching, unsteady gait made Serena nervous not only for her safety but also for the safety of all the valuables in the house. One day, the inevitable happened and Isabella accidentally knocked over an antique vase that Candace had ever since her honeymoon in Italy. Serena didn't know who felt worse, Isabella or her, when Candace rushed from the other room and discovered the broken shards on the floor and a crying baby, her mother offering flustered apologies and feeble attempts at repayment. To her shock, Candace smiled and waved Serena's apologies away.  
  
"Don't worry about it, Serena," she said, even deigning to wink conspiratorially at an uneasy Serena, "I never liked that vase anyway. Walter's mother gave that to us on our wedding day and I've had no choice but to keep it in my home ever since. Isabella did me a favour by breaking it and the best part is, Walter's wrapped around this little girl's finger. He won't mind that it's broken."   
  
At the bottom of the staircase, Serena put Isabella down so she could walk on her own. Isabella's halting lurches and stops made Serena think of the newborn colts down at the stables. When they finally reached the backyard, where a huge white tent had been erected underneath which round tables and white chairs had been set up, the entire staff that had been working on the last-minute preparations stopped and began calling out birthday greetings to Isabella as if she were a miniature queen amongst her people.   
  
"Hi!" Isabella greeted back, bestowing upon her loyal subjects a friendly wave. They cheered enthusiastically and went back to their work. Isabella looked around, taking in all the activity being done on her behalf and smiled, seeing a familiar face. "Da-EEE!"   
  
Darien rushed up the steps and picked up Isabella, twirling her high in the air and smothering her with kisses. Isabella squealed with glee and grabbed his nose, making Serena laugh.   
  
"What time are they supposed to get here?" Serena asked, taking Isabella from Darien's arms and setting her in the playpen where she happily played with the toys inside.   
  
"Celeste called from the hotel a few minutes ago and said that they were on their way," Darien replied. Since Celeste's husband, Robert, was on a business trip to LA for the week, Celeste thought she might as well tag along for a visit with her nieces. To surprise Serena, Darien had flown Sammy and Mika, and Raye, Justin and Kayla to LA where Sammy and Justin grudgingly agreed to stay at Darien's house upon his request.   
  
Serena turned around at the sound of her name. "Hey Sammy! Where's Mika?"  
  
"I let her sleep in." Sammy said. When Serena looked pointedly in Darien's direction, Sammy rolled his eyes and heaved a heavy sigh. "Shields," he acknowledged stiffly.   
  
"Sammy," Darien replied. He excused himself to go help out the stable hands with the ponies. A makeshift corral had been set up in another part of the garden for the younger children to ride the ponies in a sedate circle.   
  
When he was gone, Sammy leaned over the playpen to tickle Isabella's bare feet.   
  
"Place looks great."  
  
Serena took in all the party preparations with pride. "Thanks. Candace helped me plan the party. I wanted to just have a small party with just the family but Candace insisted on making this day an event to remember." She paused to look at the pink and white balloons anchored to the backs of the chairs with ribbon, fluttering in the cool breeze. "Now that I see what she had in mind, I'm glad she talked me into it."  
  
"So who are you inviting?" Sammy asked.  
  
"Darien's extended family, their friends, my family and my friends," Serena replied.  
  
Sammy seemed to take this in stride. He opened his mouth as if to say something but closed it again after a moment's hesitation. "Sammy?"  
  
"Are you sure you want to stay here with him? You can go back to school in Toronto just as easily as you can in LA, you know."   
  
Serena laid a hand on her brother's shoulder. He always did have a hard time letting go, she reasoned. "Sammy, my decision to stay here has nothing to do with going back to school and you know that. Can't you see how happy Isabella and I are here with Darien?"  
  
"Weren't you happy in Toronto?" he asked, a wounded tone in his voice.   
  
"I was," she began, "but I'm happiest wherever Darien is. He's Isabella's father, Sammy. They love each other so much. And I love him too."  
  
Sammy cast his eyes down on the ground, finally accepting the truth. It hurt that she wanted to leave her home for a man who didn't deserve her. Still, she was an adult now with a child of her own and, Sammy had to admit, she had been making a fine life for herself so far. "You promise to visit often?" he asked in a small voice, trying to be brave.   
  
Serena smiled with relief. "Of course we will. You're Isabella's only uncle-it's your job to spoil her."  
  
Sammy smiled ruefully. "I'll try." A moment's silence and then, "Serena?"  
  
"Yeah?"  
  
"Think I should ask Mika to marry me?" His face turned pink in spite of himself. He grinned sheepishly when he saw that Serena had tears in her eyes. "I take that as a yes?"  
  
A few tears fell as Serena nodded her head. "Oh come here," she cried, pulling him into a hug. "My baby brother's getting married."  
  
  
  
Sammy let himself relish his sister's affection before pushing her away gently to preserve his male ego. "I just hope she says yes."  
  
"You better believe she's gonna say yes." Serena sat down on the top step, keeping an eye on Isabella in the playpen and another eye on the progress of the party setup.   
  
"So, when are you going to ask her?" Sammy sat down beside his sister and shrugged.  
  
"I was thinking of asking her when we get back to Toronto. You know, romantic dinner, soft music, get down on one knee and pop the big question. She's been dropping hints about getting married for months and she thinks that I haven't gotten the message yet but I think anyone who finds all his Sports Illustrated magazines in the trash and nothing but bridal magazines throughout the house would know that something's up."  
  
Serena laughed softly and pulled her brother in for a one-armed hug. "I'm sure she'll say yes. She'd be stupid not to."   
  
She was about to say more when Lita burst out of the kitchen door, gesturing frantically at Serena. Just as she took a few steps in Lita's direction, Isabella saw her leaving and began to shriek, making grabbing motions towards her mother in a panic.   
  
"Mama no!"  
  
Torn between her baby and an impending kitchen crisis, Serena turned desperately to Sammy. "Go," he said, picking up Isabella and tickled her bare feet to make her forget being abandoned by her mother.  
  
"Thanks Sammy," Serena said, relieved that Isabella stopped crying. "We'll talk more about this later, okay?"   
  
A few hours later, under the protection of the big white tent, Serena and Darien stood behind their daughter who was sitting in a high chair, singing "Happy Birthday" with their closest family and friends. Isabella looked around, perplexed at the commotion on her behalf, took in the small pink and white cake with a lit candle in the centre, and immediately began to whimper quietly.   
  
While the guests were finishing the song off, interrupted from time to time with the odd "Aww, she's so cute", Darien stepped back and watched as Serena comforted Isabella and showed her how to blow the candle out.   
  
"See honey? Like this," she encouraged in her 'mommy' voice, blowing gently to demonstrate how it was done. "Just like when we practiced with daddy."  
  
Darien smiled softly, picturing himself holding a 5-year old Isabella's hand as he escorted her to kindergarten on her first day of school. He saw her bravely trying to fit in with the other children, looking over her shoulder to see if he was still there. She smiled, reassured that he was still there and would remain as long as she needed him to be.   
  
As quickly as that image was created, a new one took its place, this time of an older version of himself holding a bicycle steady as a seven-year old Isabella pedaled shakily down the driveway. "Don't let me go, Daddy!" she cried, gripping the handles tightly as she veered crazily from right to left. "I won't," he reassured her. She didn't even notice that he was standing at the end of the driveway, getting farther and farther away as she pedaled on her own down the sidewalk.   
  
The next time the scene changed, Isabella was a teenager charging down the stairs towards a boy who was obviously taking her out on her first date. Darien could tell, as he stood watching them from the shadows, that his daughter was very excited behind the thinly veiled formality she displayed when she introduced him to her date. Before he could kiss his daughter goodbye, the scene shifted once again.  
  
This time, he stood in a tuxedo beside a beautiful woman dressed in white. His eyes filled with proud tears when he realized that it was his daughter's wedding day and he was just about to walk her down the aisle. "Don't be sad, Daddy," she whispered. "I'll always be your little girl." The heavy wooden doors swung open as the organ music began to play. The scene faded away just as Darien lifted the veil over her head at the altar to give her a kiss. "You'll always be my little girl."  
  
Darien came to at the sound of applause and realized that he had just imagined a whole lifetime with his daughter in a matter of seconds. With a little puff of air, Isabella blew out her candle and clapped her hands, pleased with herself. The crowd cheered when she took a handful of cake and spread it all over her face, many of them glad to have a larger version of it standing off to the side for their consumption.   
  
Darien laughed, still a bit shaken by his vision, when Isabella offered him a handful of cake. She giggled when he ate the messy offering from her palm and gave him a sticky kiss on the cheek to the crowd's delight while Serena snapped a picture.   
  
Because his heartbeat was still erratic, Darien pulled Serena close and held her against him. Sensing that something was up, Serena wrapped her arms around him, running them up and down his back and whispering comforting words in his ear.   
  
And in her arms, Darien knew: Serena was the one. He thought that having his child, the beautiful little girl they created a year and nine months ago, was the reason he loved Serena so much but he was wrong. His vision, prediction, figment of his imagination-whatever one wanted to call it-taught him that Serena was the only one he wanted by his side as he watched Isabella grow up into a woman. He couldn't imagine that future, or any future, without Serena.   
  
"I'm going to marry you, Serena Mathis," he whispered just as the children started laughing and clapping enthusiastically at the clown's antics. He chuckled when he saw Kayla lifted her dress over her head to get the clown's attention, much to her parents' horror. Raye, three months into her second pregnancy, practically ran to the front of the tent from her seat to tug her daughter's dress down.   
  
"What did you say?" Serena asked, her attention on Raye and Kayla. Darien shook his head and smiled privately. "What?"  
  
"I just said 'I love you, Serena Mathis.'" Serena beamed happily at him and pecked his lips lightly.  
  
"I love you too." A cheer erupted from the children when the clown pulled a white dove from the depths of a cavernous pocket. Serena and Darien laughed when Isabella emitted an ear-piercing shriek when the dove flew close to her ear.   
  
Darien rested his arm around Serena's shoulders and sighed in contentment as he watched his daughter imitate Kayla by pulling up her dress. No, life could not get any better than this. Isabella was blossoming into a beautiful child, his father was getting better with each passing day, his slow recovery attributed to walking with his granddaughter each morning around the garden and his mother was starting to come around about Serena-which was good because he was going to propose to her.   
  
ust as soon as the perfect opportunity presented itself.   
  
***  
  
Darien stood in front of the fogged up mirror wearing nothing but a towel around his trim waist and a smug grin. He flushed when he caught himself flexing his muscles in front of the mirror and laughed quietly at himself for his foolishness. He almost wanted to shout with glee but he didn't want to wake up the sleeping blonde in the next room.   
  
Darien glanced at his watch on the marble counter and grimaced. He had to get to work in an hour's time and here he was, not even shaved yet. He grinned ruefully at his reflection and grabbed his shaving kit from the shelf, ready to begin his morning rituals when a slight movement in the mirror caught his eye. He smiled: Serena had woken up.  
  
Serena stood behind Darien, leaning against the doorframe in nothing but the white t-shirt she had on last night and white cotton bikini panties. He had a flash of remembrance to last night and how she snuck into his room after they came home from their date.  
  
They watched a hockey game because the LA Kings were playing against the Toronto Maple Leafs, Serena's favourite team. He recalled with fond amusement Serena's reaction when he took her to the seats directly behind the Leafs. They were so close to the players that their sweat and spit would have splashed on them had it not been for the protective glass barriers. Serena loved it. Somehow, Serena had thought that they'd be sitting in the nosebleed section because it was a last-minute suggestion of Darien's that they go. Little did she know that business tycoons had sat in the seat that she was sitting in, all courtesy of Shields Financial of course. Why, even the king of a small Mediterranean country-and a potential client-had taken in a game or two while he was in town negotiating a deal with Shields Financial.   
  
Darien didn't so much watch the game as he watched Serena. He loved her triumphant expression when the Leafs captain scored his third goal of the evening-a hat trick, she informed him with a condescending air that she didn't realize she had-and the way her lips would curl into a pout when a Kings player managed to get the puck past the formidable Leafs goalie. He watched her swoon when one of the players winked at her and watched her struggle to retain a polite smile when the same player smiled to reveal a mouth with almost the same number of teeth as Isabella. He took in her delighted squeal when the winning goal was scored by the Leafs, thus ending their four game losing streak. Since it was already getting late and Darien had work the next day, they headed home after the game, Serena making a play-by-play account of the game as if he hadn't been there with her.   
  
After checking up on Isabella, who was asleep in crib with her arms and legs flailed out as if she had just dropped in exhaustion, and giving Serena a long kiss goodnight at her bedroom door, Darien regretfully trudged back into his own room and got ready for bed. He stripped down into his boxer briefs and, too tired to put on his pajama bottoms, crawled into the bed. His eyes were just about closed when he heard his door creak open.   
  
He struggled to open one eye and what he saw had him opening the other eye in silent anticipation. Serena stood in the open doorway with the moon casting its light on her from the open window. She was wearing a white t-shirt that hung loosely on her, stopping just an inch above the waistband of her shorts to reveal her toned stomach, the reward of so many hours spent in Darien's gym to get her figure back after having Isabella. Shorts clung on her narrow hips, making her look more like a little league baseball player rather than a woman with seduction on her mind.   
  
Darien sat up in the bed, watching her, waiting for her to make the first move. She said his name and, though the light in the room was dim, he saw the look of lust and confidence in her eyes. He watched as she walked toward the bed, shedding an article of clothing with each step. Finally, when she was gloriously naked in front of him, he pulled the covers back to allow her to climb in with him. She helped him remove his boxer briefs and then pushed him back down on the bed before straddling him.   
  
They kissed hotly, the pent-up passion that had been building up ever since they first met fuelling their desire. In one smooth motion, Darien entered Serena, drawing a shuddering gasp from her while his vision exploded in a burst of white. They stayed locked in that position for a few seconds before Serena began moving her hips slowly. They said nothing, preferring to let their bodies speak for themselves.   
  
Now, back in the bathroom, Darien felt soft arms encircle him from behind and was instantly brought back into the present. Darien felt her lips brushing the ten scratches on his back. They stood in that position for a while, Serena's arms wrapped around Darien's torso, her taut nipples pressing into his back. He reached behind him and slipped his hand underneath the waistband of her panties, kneading the smooth skin of her buttocks. Darien grinned smugly when Serena gasped and tightened her hold.   
  
He watched Serena's face in the mirror; he could almost see the gears turning in her head. Sure enough, she planted one last kiss on his shoulder and hoisted herself up on the marble counter. He raised his eyebrow in question and was rewarded with a mischievous smirk. Wrapping her legs around his waist-an action that pleased Darien immensely-Serena brought him closer to her so that there was hardly an inch of space between them. She hooked her feet behind him and squirmed into a more comfortable position, blushing when she felt him harden immediately.  
  
Without saying a word, Serena leaned over, squirted a dollop of shaving cream into her hand and spread it gently across the lower half of his face. Darien held his breath as Serena began to gently shave him with smooth, confident strokes. Her eyes were clouded with a mixture of concentration and desire, a combination that Darien found irresistible.   
  
The room was silent except for the sound of the razor scratching his face and their shallow breathing. Darien leaned closer to Serena and squeezed her thighs to pull her closer to him. She raised a perfectly shaped eyebrow as she struggled to school her mouth into a tight line, even though the corners were pulling up into a smile. She coughed in warning, her eyes flickering to the razor in her hand. Darien grinned boyishly underneath all the shaving cream and squeezed her thighs in roguish apology.   
  
When she finally finished, Serena ran a face cloth under hot water and cleaned his face of any remaining shaving cream. Then, she pooled a generous amount of aftershave into the palm of her hand and patted the newly shaven area lightly. The light peck she gave his lips sent Darien's head spinning with barely-contained lust.   
  
As if reading his mind, Serena tilted her head up to give Darien a deep kiss. She moaned when one of his hands traveled up her shirt, cupping her breast as he slowly leaned her backwards towards the mirror. She braced herself against the mirror with one hand as Darien's marauding mouth traveled its way up from her bellybutton, her moans getting louder and louder, echoing off the limestone tiles.   
  
Pleased with her reaction, Darien's other hand worked its way down to her panties and realized that Serena's hand had beaten him to the punch. Finding her panties cumbersome, he tore them off her body, the sound of ripping material drawing a shocked gasp from Serena. He murmured apologies to her but judging from the way she pressed his hand into her, Darien knew he was forgiven.   
  
Their fingers worked together at a frenzied rhythm while their mouths fused in a searing kiss. Serena tore her mouth away to bite gently on Darien's shoulder as he drove his fingers into her relentlessly. It wasn't long before Darien felt Serena's inner walls clamp down on his fingers and she screamed his name, the tiled walls and floors amplifying the sound. Thoroughly self-satisfied, Darien stepped back to gloat in the afterglow of Serena's massive orgasm.   
  
She lay against the mirror, one leg dangling over the counter while the other one hung loosely around his waist, her hand at the apex of her thighs. Her skin was flushed and dotted with steam and sweat, her blue eyes were glazed and unfocused as her breasts rose and fell with every breath she took. Finally, she snapped out of her stupor and smiled almost shyly at him, as if she wasn't the brazen seductress she was last night and a few minutes ago.   
  
Making up his mind, Darien gently scooped her up into his arms and carried her back into the bedroom, her legs once again wrapped around his waist and her arms around his neck. 'Forget work,' he thought as the towel dropped on the floor in the middle of the room and Serena impaled herself upon his rigid member right moments before he laid her on the bed to continue what they started.   
  
***  
  
Serena sat cross-legged on the nursery room floor, glumly watching Isabella as she toddled back and forth around her room, presumably giving her newest stuffed animal-a present from Walter 'just because'-the grand tour. Normally, she would've been holding Isabella's hand, helping her introduce the fuzzy creature to her growing collection of dolls, stuffed animals and everything else that fell in between but today, she just couldn't muster enough energy to even get up. She moped about all day, only venturing downstairs to fix Isabella and herself something to eat before going back upstairs to the nursery where she played with Isabella half-heartedly. Feeling the need to be alone, she stayed away from Walter, Candace and the staff. Even Isabella, at her tender age of one, seemed to sense her mother's depressed state and didn't raise a fuss all day, except when she needed a diaper change or when she wanted to take a nap.   
  
She sighed, knowing full well the reason for her depression. Today was the day before her 29th birthday and Darien had had to go on a sudden business trip to London two days ago to deal with business matters that were way over Serena's head. For his sake, Serena kept up an understanding and supportive façade and had even offered to drive him to the airport. When the jet took off, she dropped her mask and let disappointment sink in.   
  
She couldn't help but remember the wonderful birthday party he threw for her two years ago. He had been on a business trip that time as well, she remembered, and had surprised her by coming home early and flying in her mother and brother from Canada. She didn't suppose that Darien had an elaborate plan to surprise her this year since the call from London came at around midnight and Darien was on the jet and hour and a half later, apologizing profusely for not going to be able to take her to the play she had been dying to see on her birthday.   
  
She was so busy brooding that she didn't even notice Candace walk into the nursery until she was sitting down beside her. The sight of the dignified Candace sitting cross-legged on the floor in her immaculate linen slacks and cashmere sweater was enough to snap Serena out of her mood-at least, for now.   
  
"Hello Candace," she greeted her, albeit a little dully. Not knowing what Candace could possibly want with her in the middle of the day, she grasped around for a relatively safe topic for her to make the appropriate small talk with. "How's the work going downstairs in the great room?"  
  
For the past four days, the great room had been undergoing a slight renovation per Candace's orders, and the cacophony of sound being made by the construction crew's various power tools, was enough to drive almost all of the household occupants insane-except one. Isabella had been forever fascinated by the whirring, banging, and buzzing noises she heard coming from within the enclosed space and was constantly trying to escape her mother's vigilant eye to investigate, almost winding up with her fingers in a bucket of cement compound had it not been for the contractor's cry of alarm. Since then, Serena and Isabella had been banned from coming within 20 feet of the great room.  
  
Isabella, finished with her tour, walked over to Serena and settled comfortably in her lap. Candace leaned over and tickled her feet. "The construction's going well, considering..."  
  
"Considering?" Serena retied one of Isabella's ponytails.   
  
"Considering that this was a last-minute operation, the construction crew's doing a remarkable job."   
  
Serena turned to Candace. "Why was it such a rush job, anyway?"   
  
"Oh, just a little whim of mine. I wanted to add a skylight in the room and from there, the whole project just grew and grew." Candace laughed and to Serena, the sound was that of a nervous woman on the verge of revealing a secret. She also couldn't help but notice that she didn't answer the question. She shrugged mentally and decided to change the subject.  
  
"Have you heard from Darien today?" She hated how pathetic and clingy she sounded but she missed him so much.  
  
"I talked to him last night but you were already asleep." Candace couldn't miss the flicker of disappointment in Serena's eyes and smiled. If she only knew, she thought gleefully. She made sure that the smile curling her lips upwards was gone before she looked Serena in the eye. "He said that he was coming home the day after tomorrow once business was all wrapped up."  
  
If it was possible, Serena's face fell even more. "Oh, it's just that I was hoping he could still be back in time for my birthday."  
  
"Oh my, yes. Your birthday's tomorrow, isn't it? We'll have to make sure to have Lita prepare a special dinner or something." Candace was beginning to enjoy herself.  
  
"Oh, that's okay Candace. I don't feel much like celebrating." Candace reached over and patted her hand sympathetically.   
  
"Nonsense, dear. It's nothing less than what Darien would've done were he here to celebrate with you." And because she couldn't resist the urge to grin, Candace covered her mouth with her hand, pretending to look thoughtful. "Cheer up, Serena. He wouldn't have missed your birthday for the world, you know that, right?"  
  
"Yeah." She smiled softly at Candace. "Thanks Candace. I really appreciate it."  
  
Knowing that Serena was talking about something that went deeper than their talk, Candace simply nodded and patted her hand once more before standing up, groaning when she felt her knees creak. "Anytime. Now if you'll excuse me, I have to talk to a certain chef about a certain dinner she has to prepare tomorrow."  
  
When Candace left the room, Serena cuddled the sleeping baby in her arms, stood up rather shakily, and placed her gently in her crib. She traced a finger lightly over Isabella's cheeks before giving her a kiss, wishing for all the world that she was that age once again. Softly, so she wouldn't disturb her, Serena backed out of the room and opened the door to her room to wallow in self-pity privately.  
  
"Walter, I don't see why I have to put on this dress just to eat dinner," Serena complained irritably into the phone the next day.   
  
"But it's your birthday," he explained with perhaps more patience than he had ever displayed in the time that Serena had known him. "We're having a special dinner in your honour, girlie, so I suggest you get a move on and hustle into that dress. Do I make myself clear?"   
  
'There's the Walter we all know and love,' Serena thought, rolling her eyes. "Fine," she huffed into the receiver. "I'll be down in a few minutes." She ended the call before he could reply.  
  
Muttering to herself, Serena yanked on the dress that had arrived by overnight mail from London that day-a "preliminary present" according to the enclosed note from Darien. She had preferred to save the dress for when he would actually get to see it but Walter wasn't the sort of person one could easily say no to.   
  
Feeling a little foolish in her fancy dress without makeup, Serena stalked over to her vanity table and began to apply a touch of lip-gloss, eye shadow, and blush. Stomping over to her closet, she selected the appropriate shoe to match her outfit and slipped them on.   
  
'Might as well go all out,' she thought crankily, fumbling with her tennis bracelet clasp. Once it was on, she dashed out the door and practically ran as fast as her finery would allow down the stairs where Walter waited for her impatiently.   
  
"Took you long enough," Walter greeted her gruffly as she laced her arm around his.   
  
"Why are you wearing a tuxedo, Walter?" This day was getting weirder and weirder. First, Amy phoned her very early in the day and insisted that they get together and "do something girly" for her birthday, which turned out to be a morning at the spa. Not that Serena didn't appreciate the total body scrub-down with every possible organic scrub-Amy's work ethic was just too strict and Serena found it rather odd that she would take a spontaneous day off during the workweek. Still, she appreciated the gesture that her friend made for her on her birthday.  
  
After the spa, they had lunch at a new restaurant where they spotted two married celebrities cozying up to each other in a corner booth. It was just too bad they weren't married to each other. Snickering to themselves, they finished their main courses and shared a slice of the most decadent chocolate cake that Serena had ever tasted. It was then that Amy announced her and Zach's plan to start trying to have a baby. After much squealing, Amy dropped Serena off at the house where Walter presented her with the box and told her to get dressed pronto.   
  
Now, as she walked side by side with Walter, she couldn't help but wish that it was Darien on her arm, not his father. At her sigh, Walter turned his head and suppressed a groan. He couldn't wait until she finally had Darien in her arms again. Maybe then she wouldn't be so depressed.   
  
"Hey girlie, wanna see how the great room turned out before we go to the dining room?"  
  
Serena whirled around in disbelief. "I can't believe you! You were the one who berated me for holding up dinner which, might I point out, is being held in my honour, and now you want to take me on a detour to the great room?"  
  
Walter sighed inwardly and led Serena to the newly redecorated great room, ignoring her muttered curses aimed in his general direction. The things he did for the people in this house...  
  
He led them through the house and stopped at the wooden doors leading to the great room. Pausing for dramatic effect, he glanced at Serena and threw open the doors, once again looking at Serena so he wouldn't miss her reaction.   
  
Totally unimpressed, Serena fumbled her way to the wall and flipped on the light switch, bathing the extremely dark room in light.   
  
"SURPRISE!" Serena stumbled back and would've fallen had Walter not been there to catch her. With wide eyes, Serena scanned the room and saw that it was elaborately decorated with balloons, streamers, red paper hearts and...a disco ball? A banner stretched across one wall near the ceiling read "Happy Birthday, Serena!" and a makeshift stage was set up at one side of the room where a band began to play one of her favourite songs growing up.   
  
It was then that Serena registered the fact that the room was cleared of the elegant furniture and chairs and round tables lining the wall had taken their place. The great room had the air of, and Serena had a very hard time believing this, a high school gym decorated for the prom.  
  
"What's going on?" she whispered, dazed at seeing all the people dressed to the nines and wishing her a happy birthday. She thought she caught a glimpse of Mika in the crowd but when she blinked, she was gone.  
  
"Happy Birthday," said a voice that had Serena's heart beating rapidly. She spun around and saw Darien, elegantly dressed in a black tuxedo and holding a black velvet box. "Did you really think I'd miss it?"  
  
Too overcome to say anything, Serena jumped into Darien's arms and hugged him fiercely. "Oh, I thought you were going to be in London until tomorrow!"  
  
Without saying a word, Darien opened the box in his hands to reveal a diamond and pearl tiara. "Remember this?"   
  
"My birthday tiara!" Serena could barely keep still as Darien fastened it to her hair. "I can't believe you had it all this time! So where were you all this time?"  
  
When Darien led her to the dance floor, the other guests took it as their cue to begin dancing too. "Alright, I confess," he began, swaying her to the rhythm of the music, "it was all a ruse. I went to London that first day to wrap up some business and then came back to LA the next day. I stayed right here in a hotel and had this dance floor and stage built so that you could have the prom you missed back when you were in high school. And this time, your date's here, sober and looking pretty spiffy if he does say so himself."   
  
"You remembered," Serena whispered against his neck. "You set all this up because I missed my prom more than ten years ago." She touched the tiara lightly with her fingers. "And I'm the prom queen, just like I've always dreamed. I can't believe it."  
  
"Believe it." Darien skimmed his hand down her back and felt supremely smug when he felt her shiver under his caress. "Make sure to say hello to Sammy and Mika later on. I had them flown over here for the party."  
  
"I thought I saw Mika before!" she exclaimed, glad that her eyes weren't playing tricks on her. She would've said more but Darien stopped her with a kiss that increased in need and urgency.   
  
"I missed you," Darien said when they pulled apart, his breathing heavy and his eyes glazed.   
  
A few feet away, Walter and Candace, who was holding Isabella in her arms, stood by the punch bowl watching the couple dance. "You think they're going to make it?" Walter asked, not taking his eyes off Serena and Darien.  
  
"You know, I wasn't really happy about what Serena did when she found out she was pregnant," Candace said, stating the obvious, "but on some level, I think I'm starting to understand her decision. I think Darien's going to be as happy with her as we are with each other."  
  
Walter tugged playfully on Isabella's pigtail. "I couldn't agree with you more."  
  
Hours later, when the party was over and the guests had all gone home, Serena lay facedown, naked on the bed. She tried to move to a more comfortable position but found that Darien was using the small of her back as a pillow.   
  
"Darien," she mumbled, pushing gently on his shoulder to wake him up. "Move over."  
  
Coming to, Darien drowsily changed positions and slid under the covers, waiting for Serena to slide in with him. She snuggled up against the hollow of his neck and laid her left hand on his chest, admiring the Art Deco-inspired, square-cut diamond with similarly shaped diamond sidestones set in a platinum band on her finger. He remembered browsing for the ring in jewelry stores for the past month before he came across it and the annoying sales associate that thought he couldn't afford the more expensive pieces the store had to offer.  
  
"No thank you," he told the man with a bad suit and greasy hair, turning his nose up with disdain at the cheap-looking, 14 carat gold ring with a tiny diamond.   
  
"But sir, this is a splendid looking ring," the salesman said of the paltry 0.25 carat diamond ring.  
  
Darien cast him a scathing glare. "I don't believe in buying the woman I love a diamond ring that weighs less than a whole carat. That one you're offering me looks like a chip that the jeweler carved off a bigger diamond." Seeing a ring that caught his eye, Darien pointed to it. "Let me see that one. Tell me about that ring."  
  
The man rushed to the ring Darien was pointing at through the glass. "Why, that diamond is flawless, 1.5 carats, icy winter white and set in platinum." His voice rose to match his excitement as it became obvious that Darien was very much interested in that ring. "It's vintage, circa 1924, a few months before the Great Depression hit. It was rumoured that the lady who owned it-"  
  
"I'll take it." The excited jeweler beamed as brightly as his merchandise.   
  
"Will that be cash or charge?" A few minutes later after the swipe of a card, the swish of a signature and the ringing of a register, Darien was the proud owner of an engagement ring.   
  
"Darien," Serena now purred, stretching lazily beside him, "ask me again."  
  
"Ask you what again?" Darien asked innocently.  
  
"Come on, ask me again." Serena angled the ring until it caught the moonlight streaming in from the window and cast a rainbow of colours in a corner of the dark room. When he still didn't reply, she prodded him lightly in the ribs with her finger.  
  
"Ow!" Darien exclaimed, rubbing his sore bones. A glare from Serena chased away the pain. "Okay, okay. Serena Mathis, will you marry me?"  
  
Serena pretending to think it over. "I don't know. I mean, you like to hog the bed when we're sleeping and you always leave your wet towels lying on the bathroom floor..."  
  
It was Darien's turn to poke her in the ribs, making her squeal with laughter. "I seem to recall that you haven't even answered the question yet, Serena-and no, shouting 'yes!' while we're having sex doesn't count. I'm inclined to think that you don't want to marry me at all."  
  
Serena burst into laughter at Darien's playful pout. "God, I love you, even though you can be such an ass sometimes. Ask me again and I'll give you my answer."  
  
Darien's face sobered as he gazed solemnly into her eyes. "Serena Mathis, will you marry me?"  
  
Serena's face broke into a teary smile. "Yes, I will. With all my heart."   
  
Although he already knew what her answer would be, Darien exhaled the breath he didn't know he was holding and gathered her close. He kissed her face softly, never wanting to let go. Serena opened herself up to him, welcoming his body, his love, with open arms, the diamond ring sparkling in the moonlight as they slowly began making love.  
  
************************************************************************  
  
Finished April 30, 2003 (2:53 AM)  
  
LS: *punches buttons on her calculator and fixes her (very scholarly) glasses* According to my calculations, CR could have written this chapter faster if she had omitted letter "U" from ever being utilized in the chapter.   
  
CR: Fck yo. (You're right! It IS shorter without the U's)  
  
LS: Well, 6 months IS a long time, mah lil' sugah carrot. But I'm not complaining-the chapter IS done. *busts out chianti* Is it alright if I forgot the fava beans? And I'm cutting back on meat, so your livers are safe for the moment.  
  
548 


	18. Epilogue I

Wounded Souls  
  
Epilogue  
  
By: crystal rose  
  
Edited by: ladysolo  
  
June 11, 2003  
  
***  
  
"Ohh. Go lower," Serena moaned, arching her back to meet Darien's touch.  
  
As ordered, Darien moved his hands lower. "Here?" His only response was a throaty sound of appreciation.  
  
"Yeah, that's the spot. Keep going. Harder," Serena whispered, the urgency straining her voice. She felt his hands cease movement after a while. "Don't stop now."  
  
Darien chuckled silently, knowing that the pout on Serena's lips would only grow if he didn't do as she 'requested'. As much as he loved seeing that pout of hers, he loved to pleasure her even more. Her little sigh of satisfaction told him that he was on the right track.   
  
Finally, Serena exhaled one final time, stretched her arms up over her head and purred happily. She snuggled under the covers and rested her head on his bare chest. "Thanks, I couldn't reach that spot."  
  
Darien raised his eyebrow wryly. "Do me a favour, Serena. Next time you feel an itch in the middle of your back, just grab the backscratcher instead of waking me up..." he glanced at the alarm clock on the night table, "at 1:13 in the morning. I thought you were having a seizure."   
  
Serena had the grace to look embarrassed. "It fell on the floor when I was reaching for it. Getting it from under the bed would've cost me precious scratching seconds."   
  
Darien grinned naughtily and rolled over on the bed, pinning her with his arms. "Well, as long as we're both up..."  
  
Although Serena rolled her eyes, the tiny smile she was hiding revealed that she wasn't averse to Darien's idea one bit. Darien kissed her softly, letting his hands touch the body he knew so well. Slowly, carefully savouring the moment, Darien slid his hands under the white cotton nightgown she wore, caressing the silky skin he felt underneath. Serena lifted her upper body to allow Darien to pull the garment off and lay with her golden hair strewn about her on the bed.   
  
They smiled at each other, anticipation in their eyes. Darien lowered his head so that his lips lightly touched upon Serena's navel, holding her gaze with his own. He felt-as ridiculous as it sounds in this day and age-like a conquering warrior about to reap the spoils of his plunder. Of course, Serena's small sounds of encouragement didn't do anything to help dispel his fantasy.  
  
He worked his way up her torso with remarkable patience for a man who liked to get things done with as much speed and efficiency as possible. Serena's breathing hitched just as Darien's mouth arrived at her breast. She waited impatiently, dragging her hands through his hair, urging him along but this time, he followed his own lead. Serena almost cried out in frustration when he turned his attention to her other breast to begin the whole process again.  
  
"Stop teasing me, Darien." Her voice was smoky and full of need. Taking this as encouragement-'as if he needed any', Serena thought vaguely-he opened his mouth to take her nipple in.   
  
"WAHHHH!"  
  
"Oh no," Serena groaned, flopping her head back against the pillows.  
  
"She'll go right back to sleep," Darien assured her, although deep down he knew full well that the crying baby wouldn't.  
  
"Ignore her," Serena urged. "Maybe she'll tire herself out and fall asleep again."   
  
"Please go back to sleep, please go back to sleep," Darien chanted softly, even going the extra mile by crossing his fingers. The sexually frustrated parents listened hopefully through the baby monitor for a full five minutes-because, according to Darien, "crying lets the baby's lungs expand or something like that. What kind of parents would we be if we deliberately hampered our daughter's lung growth?"-but the baby's cries only grew louder. Finally, unable to ignore her child's cries any longer, Serena reached over and grabbed her nightgown, which Darien had carelessly tossed on the bed beside her.   
  
"Oh no, no, no. Please don't tell me you're doing what I think you're doing."  
  
Serena poked her head through the neck hole and kissed him soundly on the lips. "I have to go; it's time to feed her."  
  
Darien growled with pent up frustration and tried his best not to pout, failing miserably. "Okay," he conceded grumpily. "But hurry back."  
  
Serena patted his cheek in reply and walked across the hall to the nursery. When she was gone, Darien closed his eyes to block out the suddenly harsh light streaming from the lamp beside him.   
  
He must have dozed off because the next time he glanced at the clock, it was fifteen minutes later and the door had just creaked open. In his sleep-fuddled mind, he saw a tiny version of himself creep over to the bed, clutching a ragged-looking teddy bear in his hand. He watched this little person through his lashes, not quite sure if he was dreaming or awake, only that the child in front of him held his teddy bear, looking as if he were about to cry.  
  
"Daddy?" The one word spoken in a tremulous voice brought Darien back to his senses as he struggled to sit up.  
  
"What is it, son?" He used his thumb to brush away the tear tracing a path down the young boy's cheek.  
  
He held up the stuffed animal. "Boo Bear had an axi-dent."  
  
Darien nodded in understanding. Taking the boy's hand, he walked out the room and into the hall, stopping at the linen closet before going to the boy's room.  
  
"Aw that's okay, Boo Bear, accidents happen." The boy, whose black hair had been mussed in his sleep, looked at the man he resembled so much with adoration in his deep blue eyes. Together, father and son changed the sheets on his 'big boy bed' and changed his pajamas.   
  
In the nursery across the hall, Serena sat in a rocking chair holding a baby to her breast. Not quite the attention she wanted moments ago, she thought, but satisfying nonetheless. "You get your appetite from your daddy," she told the baby hungrily sucking at her breast. "There's no way you could've gotten that from me."  
  
Rini, with her blonde hair curling softly around her ears and her wide blue eyes framed by sooty lashes, was a surprise to her family when she was born. Isabella and Kenneth Walter may have had their father's dark features but Rini-Serenity Jr., Darien would sometimes call her-was all Serena's, from the golden blonde fuzz on her head right down to the shape of her toes. Of course, Darien was absolutely thrilled that one of his children finally took after their mother. "Third time's the charm," he told her proudly when the nurse placed the swaddled baby in his arms.   
  
Rini finished suckling and was now contentedly batting her chubby fist in the air, gurgling happily at her mother. She stared wide-eyed at her surroundings and, without warning, swung her fist, hitting Serena squarely in her tender breast. She yelped in pain, her eyes stinging with tears.   
  
Muttering curses under her breath, Serena took one look at Rini and smiled. She was so cute it was impossible to stay mad at her. Just as Rini's eyes were beginning to close, the nursery door was flung open and Isabella dashed in from the hall, her long curly hair trailing down her back and face red from crying.  
  
"Mommy!" She ran to the rocking chair and wrapped her arms around Serena's neck. "I couldn't find you!"  
  
Alarmed, Serena kissed her wet cheeks. "What's wrong, sweetie?" Isabella sobbed something into her neck. "What did you say?"  
  
"The bad man was going to take you away and then I couldn't find you or daddy in your room!" she wailed. "I thought you were gone!"  
  
Serena shifted Rini, who was again fully awake and watching her older sister intently, in her arms to let Isabella sit partially on her lap. "It's okay, baby. Mommy's here." Serena let Isabella cry for a little while before asking if she wanted to talk about her dream.  
  
Isabella said nothing, content to snuggle with her mom. With the new baby and everything else taking her mother's time, Isabella hadn't been babied the way she was used to before her icky little brother came along, and she for one, was going to milk it for everything it was worth. She stuck her bottom lip out in a small pout for good measure.  
  
Finally, after a few moments of silence, Isabella felt ready to talk. "I dreamed that the bad man stole you away from daddy and took you to his glass castle."  
  
"What bad man, sweetheart?" Isabella's lower lip trembled and she dashed the back of her hand across her eyes dramatically.   
  
"The bad man with white hair and three eyes. He wanted to marry you so he made you wear a fairy dress and the eye in the middle of his forehead started glowing. He wanted to kiss you but daddy saved you before he could." This time, Isabella's shudder was not made for dramatic purposes.  
  
Serena kissed Isabella on the head. "See? There's nothing to be scared of. Your daddy rescued me."  
  
"But what if he comes back?" Isabella clutched Loopy tighter. Loopy had gotten Serena through many a tough night and now she was giving her daughter the same support. Thankfully, Isabella's tough nights weren't anywhere as bad as her mother's. Oh, the tales that doll could tell. "What if he takes you away again?"  
  
"It must have been a scary dream, huh?"   
  
Isabella nodded. "Uh huh." Despite her residual jitters, Isabella giggled. "Daddy was wearing his fancy suit with a superhero cape when he rescued you. He looked kinda silly."  
  
Serena giggled along with her daughter, glad that Isabella's fears had been mollified for the moment. "How did he rescue me?"  
  
Isabella scrunched her mouth, going over her dream again. "I think he hit him with a cane..."  
  
Because she knew it would hurt Isabella's feelings if she gave in to temptation and laughed, Serena bit the inside of her cheek and focused on Rini, who was beginning to fuss. She felt the baby's diaper-covered bottom and thought, 'Hmm, squishy already. Ah, the wonders of breast milk.'  
  
"I think your sister needs a new diaper, Isabella. Would you like to help me?"  
  
Isabella nodded, and although she was more of a hindrance than she was help, Serena enjoyed her company and allowed her to participate. Together, they sang Rini a lullaby and Isabella tucked a ratty toy cat that had once belonged to Serena in the crib with her. They congratulated themselves silently on getting Rini down in her crib without waking her and were about to leave the room when Rini opened her eyes and let out a plaintive wail.   
  
Serena sighed. 'So close', she thought, and went to pick her baby up. Rini stopped crying immediately and even cooed against Serena's ear, making it very difficult on her mother's part to be annoyed with her. Once the baby quieted down, Serena tried to put her back in the crib to no avail; Rini just wouldn't let her leave.   
  
"Darien's not gonna like this", she muttered, bundling Rini up in her blanket. She was going to let Rini sleep in the bassinet in their room for the night. "Come on, Isabella. Time for bed."  
  
Isabella's face was troubled but she allowed her mother to lead her by the hand all the way to her bedroom door. "No mommy!" she cried and threw herself down on the floor. "I don't wanna sleep there tonight!"  
  
Serena stared in astonishment at her daughter who had just wrapped herself around her leg, crying and begging her not to let the 'bad man' take her away. Just as she was about to utter words of comfort, Isabella wailed the very words she was dreading to hear.  
  
"I wanna sleep in your room, Mommy!"  
  
"What's going on?" Serena turned around to see Darien exiting Kenny's room, its occupant and a battered teddy bear in his arms.  
  
"Isabella had a bad dream and Rini keeps crying every time I leave the room. What's your story?" Darien grinned ruefully over Kenny's head.  
  
"We had a little accident to deal with." Darien patted the boy's bottom. "Don't worry, we took care of it, didn't we, Kenny?" The little boy nodded and clung to his father's neck like a little monkey.   
  
"Aw, honey, it's okay. It was just an accident." Serena shifted Rini, who was asleep for the moment, in her arms to nuzzle Kenny's cheek. "Do you wanna sleep with us tonight?"  
  
Kenny nodded. "Can Boo Bear come too?"  
  
"Of course Boo Bear can come! The more, the merrier, right Daddy?" She shot a cheeky glance at Darien over Kenny's head. Kenny wriggled out of his father's hold and ran to his sister who was watching them from her position on the floor.  
  
"Come on Iz-bella, we're gonna sleep in Mommy and Daddy's room tonight." Kenny offered his sister a hand, which she promptly refused and got up on her own.  
  
Isabella, embarrassed to be caught begging at her mother's feet by her father, whom she idolized, and her little brother, who idolized her, ignored his outstretched hand. "Just make sure you don't go peeing all over the bed, Kenny," she informed him haughtily. Stung, Kenny turned to his parents and stuck a finger in his mouth, tears in his eyes.  
  
"Isabella," Darien admonished her. Isabella's face was at once contrite for displeasing her father and making Kenny-whom she thought wasn't so bad, at times-feel bad. Always a daddy's girl, Isabella hated having her daddy be anything other than proud of her.  
  
"I'm sorry, Daddy," she said in a rush, not wanting her father to be mad at her. She took Kenny's hand and began dragging him to her parents' room. "Come on, Kenny. Race ya to the bed."  
  
Serena and Darien watched as the two kids raced down the hall and into their room. Darien wrapped his arm around Serena's shoulders and led her and Rini at a more leisurely pace to what had once been their sanctuary.   
  
"It's okay, really, Kenny. When I was your age, I had the same problem too," they heard Isabella saying from their room. They smiled as they listened to their seven-year old daughter explain the mechanics of controlling one's nightly bathroom urges to their four-year old son as if she was the leading expert on the matter. "Just follow my advice and you'll have this thing down in no time."  
  
Darien leaned down to whisper in Serena's ear, "What say you and I finish what we started in the bathroom when the kids are asleep?"   
  
Serena flushed. Even after six years of marriage, Darien still had the power to make her insides flutter. 'We've been through a lot over the years', she thought. They got married in a lavish ceremony three months after they got engaged. The Shields estate had been decorated to the nines for the event, which some catty women at the country club where Darien's parents belonged called a "belated shotgun wedding". Naturally, neither couple gave them the time of day-or invitations to the wedding.   
  
Serena wore a simple sheath-a vintage Valentino, she was informed at the boutique-with her tiara. She carried a replica of the very bouquet Darien had given her on their very first date-white miniature roses, day lilies and sweet peas-while Kayla and Isabella walked hand-in-hand down the aisle, scattering rose petals. Her bridesmaids were, of course, Amy and Raye, and her matron-of-honour was her aunt Celeste. Serena had specifically requested that Walter walk her down the stone steps from the house to where Sammy, who walked her to the makeshift altar, stood waiting. Together, they walked down a silk and rose petal covered path, and when the minister asked who was giving the bride away, Sammy's hand tightened on Serena's arm and he glared at Darien, saying, "I am, but if you make her cry, I swear I'll-" Serena jabbed him with her elbow before he could finish.   
  
Serena and Darien were so wrapped up in each other; they barely heard the minister's words as the world slipped away. When it came time to say their vows, Darien choked up twice and Serena had to wipe away his tears with her handkerchief. Serena was no better when it came time to say her own. Every word and every vow was said with the utmost sincerity and reverberated with the love they had for each other. Finally, the minister pronounced them man and wife and gave Darien his blessing to kiss his new bride. The guests watched as Darien leaned in and gave Serena a slow, lingering kiss that threatened to move the G-rated occasion to PG had the photographer not taken a picture, reminding the newlyweds where they were and who was watching them.   
  
After the ceremony was over, to the guests' delight, Isabella clapped her tiny hands, shouted "Daddy love mommy!" and ran into her father's leg, begging him with outstretched arms to carry her. All the guests walked a few feet to the white tent already set up with tables and chairs for the reception. The pool was covered with more rose petals over which a layer of clear, strong Plexiglas lay and was instantly transformed into a dance floor. The guests and the newly married couple danced the night away and when it was time for Serena and Darien to leave for their two-week Caribbean cruise in Darien's yacht, fireworks burst in the night sky in a spectacular display that lasted a half hour.   
  
  
  
About six months after their wedding, Serena received a phone call from a very excited Sammy.  
  
"Serena!" She had to hold the phone away from her ear being deafened by the whoops and hollers in the background.  
  
"Sammy, is that you? Where are you?" Serena strained to hear what her brother over what seemed to be a collective cheer. "Did you just say that you're at a hockey game?"  
  
"Yeah," he shouted. Whatever he said next was lost into the roar of the fans. "I said I just asked Mika to marry me and she said yes! I'm getting MARRIED!" The crowd cheered again. Serena was mildly amused to hear them chanting his name. "I proposed to her on the in front of everybody! It pays to be a sports writer!"  
  
Another six months passed before Sammy and Mika got married in a simple ceremony in Toronto to which Darien and Serena flew back to attend. Having no other immediate family there, Serena stood in as Sammy's best man while Isabella once again played a flower girl, only this time, she got confused halfway down the aisle and started crying, forcing Darien to walk the rest of the way with her. Now, five years later, Sammy and Mika are the proud parents of a three-year old boy named David, after Mika's father, with another on the way.   
  
One lazy Sunday morning, Serena and Darien were lounging on the sofa in the living room after having breakfast sharing the newspaper. Isabella had gone to spend the day with her grandparents, who were taking her to the club for a "fancy brunch", as Isabella had called it. Darien was, of course, reading the business section of the newspaper while Serena amused herself with the entertainment section.   
  
Serena took a sip of coffee, turned the page, and promptly started choking. "Darien!" she said in between coughing fits. "Stop hitting me! I'm fine!"  
  
Darien looked dubious but stopped whacking her back with his hand. "What happened, the coffee go down the wrong way?"   
  
Still winded, Serena could do nothing but point to the newspaper. Darien glanced at the page and grinned. "Robert's new book made it on the bestseller list!" Serena nodded happily and grabbed the cordless phone from the side table.  
  
"Hello, Aunt Celeste? Darien and I were just reading the paper and guess whose name we saw topping the bestseller list?" Serena listened for a moment and squealed with delight. "That's right! Robert's book made number one!"  
  
Serena put Celeste on the speakerphone so that Darien could hear the excitement as well. With the speakerphone activated, they could hear the twins clamoring in the background. Celeste and Robert, married too late in life to have children of their own, adopted twins from China whom they named Irene and Matthew. Both active toddlers were being taken care of by Celeste, who had decided to be a stay-at-home mom so that Robert could write full-time.  
  
"Yay, Daddy!" they shouted, clapping their tiny hands. A crash was heard and then Robert's robust laughter.   
  
"My three kids," Celeste said wryly, although both Serena and Darien could hear the fondness and love in her voice. "And in a few months' time, it's going to be four." She went on to say that she and Robert had adopted another child, this time, a little boy from Romania.   
  
Amy and Zack were finally able to save for a house and immediately began trying to have a baby. Unfortunately, two years had passed and still the couple had not been able to conceive. They had already tried fertility treatments to no avail and are now looking into invitro fertilization. Serena hoped that their next visit to the fertility specialists would produce some good news for her friend-God knew how much Amy wanted to be a mother. Serena remembered a conversation she had with Amy just a few days ago on the terrace in the backyard.  
  
"You're so lucky to have the kids, Serena," Amy said wistfully, watching Isabella and Kenny squabble over a ball. The children's screaming was beginning to give Serena a headache.  
  
"Kids! Aunt Amy and I are trying to have a little talk. Could you please keep it down?" Isabella and Kenny looked at each other and continued their argument in hushed whispers for about a minute, which resulted in a full-blown war. Serena groaned and stoically tried to ignore them. "Were you talking about my kids? By all means, please take them. Then you'll see just how overrated kids really are. I don't even know why you-" Serena broke off, her face red with embarrassment. "I'm sorry, Amy. I didn't think. I feel horrible."  
  
Amy attempted to laugh it off, but the damage had already been done. They sat in awkward silence, watching the children playing in the playhouse Darien had built for them, the ball forgotten. Serena bit her lip nervously, cursing herself for not thinking before she spoke.   
  
Thankfully, Rini's sniffling cries gave Serena an excuse to visit the playpen erected just a few feet away from the table. "She's hungry," she said softly, almost to herself. She turned to Amy. "Would you like to feed her? I've got a bottle here. It would be good practice for you."  
  
Amy nodded and opened out her arms, ready to receive the baby. Serena placed her carefully in her arms and handed her a tiny bottle. Serena sat back, watching her friend nurse her child, thinking how natural the scene looked. "You'd make a great mother, Amy."  
  
Amy smiled shyly, pleased. "You think so?"  
  
Serena watched Rini stretch her arms lazily and yawn. "If you doubt me, look at Rini. She couldn't be happier."  
  
"Serena..." Amy hesitated. "Do you think the reason I can't have a baby is because I'd be a bad mother?" Just then, cool, confident Amy looked very vulnerable.  
  
Serena felt a pang of sympathy for her friend. It was hard seeing Amy, the only girl in the fifth grade to have a life plan at five year intervals, have such a hard time conceiving a child when it came so naturally for her and Raye. Because she knew that Amy's femininity was suffering a personal blow, Serena resisted the urge to overcompensate her pity by coddling her. "For such a smart woman, that was a pretty stupid thing to say. You and I both know that your difficulties in conceiving have nothing to do with being a good mother-which I know you'll be." She hugged Amy and her daughter. "I think that this situation only proves how good a mother you're going to be since you're willing to do anything to be one. And how good a father Zach is going to be. You'll see, the wait will be over soon."  
  
Serena prayed that her words would prove to be true. She didn't think Amy and Zach could suffer another disappointment...  
  
***  
  
Continued in Epilogue II 


	19. Epilogue II

About six months after their wedding, Serena received a phone call from a very excited Sammy.  
  
"Serena!" She had to hold the phone away from her ear being deafened by the whoops and hollers in the background.  
  
"Sammy, is that you? Where are you?" Serena strained to hear what her brother over what seemed to be a collective cheer. "Did you just say that you're at a hockey game?"  
  
"Yeah," he shouted. Whatever he said next was lost into the roar of the fans. "I said I just asked Mika to marry me and she said yes! I'm getting MARRIED!" The crowd cheered again. Serena was mildly amused to hear them chanting his name. "I proposed to her on the in front of everybody! It pays to be a sports writer!"  
  
Another six months passed before Sammy and Mika got married in a simple ceremony in Toronto to which Darien and Serena flew back to attend. Having no other immediate family there, Serena stood in as Sammy's best man while Isabella once again played a flower girl, only this time, she got confused halfway down the aisle and started crying, forcing Darien to walk the rest of the way with her. Now, five years later, Sammy and Mika are the proud parents of a three-year old boy named David, after Mika's father, with another on the way.   
  
One lazy Sunday morning, Serena and Darien were lounging on the sofa in the living room after having breakfast sharing the newspaper. Isabella had gone to spend the day with her grandparents, who were taking her to the club for a "fancy brunch", as Isabella had called it. Darien was, of course, reading the business section of the newspaper while Serena amused herself with the entertainment section.   
  
Serena took a sip of coffee, turned the page, and promptly started choking. "Darien!" she said in between coughing fits. "Stop hitting me! I'm fine!"  
  
Darien looked dubious but stopped whacking her back with his hand. "What happened, the coffee go down the wrong way?"   
  
Still winded, Serena could do nothing but point to the newspaper. Darien glanced at the page and grinned. "Robert's new book made it on the bestseller list!" Serena nodded happily and grabbed the cordless phone from the side table.  
  
"Hello, Aunt Celeste? Darien and I were just reading the paper and guess whose name we saw topping the bestseller list?" Serena listened for a moment and squealed with delight. "That's right! Robert's book made number one!"  
  
Serena put Celeste on the speakerphone so that Darien could hear the excitement as well. With the speakerphone activated, they could hear the twins clamoring in the background. Celeste and Robert, married too late in life to have children of their own, adopted twins from China whom they named Irene and Matthew. Both active toddlers were being taken care of by Celeste, who had decided to be a stay-at-home mom so that Robert could write full-time.  
  
"Yay, Daddy!" they shouted, clapping their tiny hands. A crash was heard and then Robert's robust laughter.   
  
"My three kids," Celeste said wryly, although both Serena and Darien could hear the fondness and love in her voice. "And in a few months' time, it's going to be four." She went on to say that she and Robert had adopted another child, this time, a little boy from Romania.   
  
Amy and Zack were finally able to save for a house and immediately began trying to have a baby. Unfortunately, two years had passed and still the couple had not been able to conceive. They had already tried fertility treatments to no avail and are now looking into invitro fertilization. Serena hoped that their next visit to the fertility specialists would produce some good news for her friend-God knew how much Amy wanted to be a mother. Serena remembered a conversation she had with Amy just a few days ago on the terrace in the backyard.  
  
"You're so lucky to have the kids, Serena," Amy said wistfully, watching Isabella and Kenny squabble over a ball. The children's screaming was beginning to give Serena a headache.  
  
"Kids! Aunt Amy and I are trying to have a little talk. Could you please keep it down?" Isabella and Kenny looked at each other and continued their argument in hushed whispers for about a minute, which resulted in a full-blown war. Serena groaned and stoically tried to ignore them. "Were you talking about my kids? By all means, please take them. Then you'll see just how overrated kids really are. I don't even know why you-" Serena broke off, her face red with embarrassment. "I'm sorry, Amy. I didn't think. I feel horrible."  
  
Amy attempted to laugh it off, but the damage had already been done. They sat in awkward silence, watching the children playing in the playhouse Darien had built for them, the ball forgotten. Serena bit her lip nervously, cursing herself for not thinking before she spoke.   
  
Thankfully, Rini's sniffling cries gave Serena an excuse to visit the playpen erected just a few feet away from the table. "She's hungry," she said softly, almost to herself. She turned to Amy. "Would you like to feed her? I've got a bottle here. It would be good practice for you."  
  
Amy nodded and opened out her arms, ready to receive the baby. Serena placed her carefully in her arms and handed her a tiny bottle. Serena sat back, watching her friend nurse her child, thinking how natural the scene looked. "You'd make a great mother, Amy."  
  
Amy smiled shyly, pleased. "You think so?"  
  
Serena watched Rini stretch her arms lazily and yawn. "If you doubt me, look at Rini. She couldn't be happier."  
  
"Serena..." Amy hesitated. "Do you think the reason I can't have a baby is because I'd be a bad mother?" Just then, cool, confident Amy looked very vulnerable.  
  
Serena felt a pang of sympathy for her friend. It was hard seeing Amy, the only girl in the fifth grade to have a life plan at five year intervals, have such a hard time conceiving a child when it came so naturally for her and Raye. Because she knew that Amy's femininity was suffering a personal blow, Serena resisted the urge to overcompensate her pity by coddling her. "For such a smart woman, that was a pretty stupid thing to say. You and I both know that your difficulties in conceiving have nothing to do with being a good mother-which I know you'll be." She hugged Amy and her daughter. "I think that this situation only proves how good a mother you're going to be since you're willing to do anything to be one. And how good a father Zach is going to be. You'll see, the wait will be over soon."  
  
Serena prayed that her words would prove to be true. She didn't think Amy and Zach could suffer another disappointment.   
  
A few months after their marriage, Serena started volunteering at the hospital in the children's wing, helping young children who were the victims of physical and sexual abuse learn how to trust again and to rebuild their self-confidence. There were days when Serena would be so emotionally exhausted from spending an afternoon with a child who had gone through the same trauma she did as a child, she would just come home and hold Isabella in her arms for as long as she could. Darien was worried about the emotional toll the volunteer position was taking on his wife and was debating on asking her to quit.   
  
However, once he saw the impact of Serena's empathy and love on the kids and vice versa, he decided to make an anonymous donation to the hospital and keep his own counsel. Thankfully, Serena was able to use her feelings and past experiences as a way to inspire the children into rebuilding their self-confidence and she hardly ever took her work home with her.  
  
She still couldn't stop smiling every time she recalled Darien's reaction when she told him that she was pregnant in the second year of their marriage. By then, Isabella was three years old and had already established her place as her daddy's little girl.  
  
Once Serena confirmed what she already knew at the doctor's office, she stopped by Darien's office to tell him. Unfortunately, by the time she got there, cursing LA traffic under her breath, Darien had already gone to his meeting and was out of his office. So she sat and waited. And planned.  
  
By the time he got back, Serena had perfected her plan and was already sitting morosely sitting in Darien's chair. "Serena," he said, surprised that she was there. "I didn't know you were coming over."  
  
Serena shrugged, not wanting to reply and risk giving everything away. She looked down, sure that if she looked at Darien, she would smile. "I just felt like coming over, that's all."  
  
Darien frowned in concern. "Is something the matter?" His heart began to pound as he imagined his parents lying in a pool of blood, Isabella in the hospital being treated for some incurable disease. He took a deep breath to calm himself down. "What's the matter?"  
  
Serena swallowed and looked at him with watery eyes. "I just came from the doctor's office..."  
  
If Serena had punched him in the gut, he still wouldn't have been as caught off-guard as he was right now. It never once occurred to him that it was Serena, his wife, in serious medical trouble. She was as healthy as a horse. "What's wrong?" he asked quietly, dragging a nervous hand through his hair. He clenched his jaw when she sniffled. He didn't like that she looked so vulnerable. He squatted in front of her, placed his hands on her knees. "Tell me what's wrong."  
  
She murmured something so softly, he had to lean forward to hear it. "What was that?"  
  
"They found a..." Darien's face paled and his heart hammered in his throat.  
  
"What?" he managed to croak.  
  
"A baby," she whispered, now looking directly into his eyes. "They found a baby."  
  
Darien slammed his eyes shut and shot to his feet. "It's okay, it's okay," he said, pacing. "We can get a second opinion, we'll get more tests done. I'll schedule an appoint... What did you say?"  
  
"A baby," she repeated softly, taking his hand and pressing it to her stomach. "We're having a baby."  
  
Darien's worried face erupted into a smile. He whooped and caught Serena up in a hug that lifted her off her feet and had her squealing with laughter. "I can't believe it!" he exclaimed. Then, in a lightning fast change of mood, he said sternly, "Don't do that again! You scared me to death!"  
  
Serena cackled and threw her arms around Darien. "I had you going! You should've seen your face!" She stopped laughing when she saw the mischievous gleam in his eye. "Darien, what are you thinking? Darien?" She started backing away slowly.   
  
Darien wiggled his fingers menacingly. "You, dear wife, are in for the tickling of a lifetime."  
  
Serena's eyes widened as she searched for an escape route. "Darien, you shouldn't be...overtaxing me in my...delicate condition right now. Darien..." She dodged Darien and squealed, running behind the chair. Whatever furniture they didn't crash into toppled to the floor, turning the office into a makeshift obstacle course. A lamp crashed to the floor, unbroken but mangled, alerting the new secretary outside the door.  
  
"Sir?" she asked hesitantly. "Is everything okay?"  
  
"Everything's just fine, Janine," Serena said hurriedly, taking the opportunity to dash out into the hall through the open door. Darien hooted with laughter and took chase.  
  
"Sir?"  
  
"It's okay, Janine. We're just having a baby. Serena, I'm coming to get you!" He was answered by a raspberry blown over the shoulder and a squeal of laughter.   
  
Serena smiled, thinking back to that happy day and seeing the astonished faces of Darien's employees, wondering if they really did see their cranky boss chasing his wife around the cubicles, finally ending up in the elevator only to emerge 45 minutes later, satiated and disheveled.   
  
Sadly, a few months after they had welcomed Kenny into the world, Raye and Justin had to say goodbye to one of their own. Their third child, a girl they named Erica, had been stillborn. Serena could still remember the phone calls she would get from Justin, who was struggling to remain strong for his children who couldn't understand why Mommy didn't want to play with them anymore, and for Raye who just wanted to cut herself off from him. Then one day, Justin called her with news that made her heart stop.   
  
"Serena, I'm thinking of leaving Raye and taking the kids." Justin's voice broke. That was the first time he voiced his decision. "It's just for a little while. I'm afraid to leave the kids alone with Raye when I'm at work. The other night I came home and Kayla was fixing a bowl of cereal for herself and Jessica because Raye wouldn't come out of her room." He swore, and Serena heard a dull thump, possibly his fist making contact with the wall. "She was sitting in our room, mourning for our dead daughter while our other two living children were starving."  
  
Serena inhaled sharply, surprised that Justin was really thinking about taking this drastic step, but also sad to reflect upon the fact that she had seen it coming. Raye was that family's centre; without her, Justin was left juggling everything on his own. She understood how frustrating it is to be a single parent, all the while knowing that a single phone call, or in Justin's case, a simple knock on the door, would bring the other parent running.   
  
She managed to talk Justin into giving Raye one last chance by telling him that his children needed their mother, that he needed his wife, and that Raye needed her family most of all. When Justin hung up, claiming that he needed to get back to work, Serena hit the speed dial to call Raye at home. She grit her teeth when the answering machine picked up.   
  
"Raye, get up off your ass and pick up the phone. I mean it, Raye. I'm not hanging up." Serena glared at her reflection in the mirror. "I know you're there, dammit. Pick up the phone." Just when she was about to start singing, she heard a rattling on the other end.  
  
"What the hell do you want?" Raye said testily. "I swear Serena, this better be good. I was taking a nap."  
  
"Taking a nap? I haven't been living in California so long that I forgot what time it is over there. It's only 11 in the morning!" Serena twisted the phone cord around her finger. "How have you been doing, Raye?"  
  
"How the fuck do you think I'm doing, Serena?" Raye snarled viciously. "I lost my daughter and I don't even know what I did wrong!" Serena heard Raye weeping on the other end and immediately regretted her harsh words.   
  
"Raye, what's going on with you, huh?" she whispered soothingly. Serena wished she could jump through the phone and put her arms around Raye. "Go back to Justin and the kids, Raye. They need you."  
  
Serena had to steel herself against the wave of Raye's sorrow. "I can't Serena," she sobbed. "I can't do it. I want my baby."  
  
Not wanting to break Justin's confidence, she settled for, "Do you realize that while you're mourning the loss of one child, you're alienating Justin and the kids? Think about what you're doing, Raye. Don't let your grief overwhelm you, Raye. You told me that once, and I never forgot it."  
  
"I know Justin wants to leave me." Serena suppressed a gasp. Did she say too much? "I can see it in his eyes every night when he comes home and the house is a mess and the kids are crying and I'm sitting here in the dark. I don't blame him. They'd be better off without me."  
  
"That's not true, Raye, and you know it. You're just being selfish, you know that." Serena could hear Raye bristling on the other end.  
  
"How dare you call me selfish, Serena. I just lost a child. You don't know the kind of pain that I'm going through," she said heatedly.  
  
"No, I don't," Serena replied with just as much heat in her words, "but Justin does. You're not the only one whose daughter died; that child was as much his as she was yours. Raye, he's hurting too."  
  
"I don't know how to help him when I can't even help myself," she whispered hoarsely.   
  
And so, Serena referred her to her former therapist, Dr. Mina Maxwell, and wished her and Justin all the best. When Justin came home that night, he wasn't sure what he'd find but he certainly didn't expect to see Raye in the kitchen, stirring a pot of spaghetti sauce, the kids sitting in awkward silence at the dinner table, afraid to do or say anything that would make their mother cry those horrible tears again.   
  
"What's this?" he asked cautiously, not wanting to get his hopes up. He kissed his daughters softly on their heads and hesitated for a brief second before kissing his wife on the cheek.   
  
"I'm making dinner," Raye answered simply. She took a deep breath. "Justin, we have to talk."  
  
It wasn't easy, but Raye and Justin decided to seek grief counseling and have been attending meetings religiously for three and a half years even though the pain has lessened. They were never going to forget Erica, but together they learned that life had to go on. They've put off having another child so that Raye could ease into her law career again now that the children were in school.   
  
These days, Serena and her family had the house all to themselves, minus the house staff. A year and a half ago, Candace and Walter went on a cruise and enjoyed it so much they hadn't been back since except to stop by for weeks at a time for holidays and birthdays. The last time Candace and Walter visited was a few months ago when Kenny turned four. They had just spent two months in the Brazilian Rainforests visiting a tribe discovered just thirty years ago and came back loaded with gifts of a...tribal variety.  
  
"Oh cool!" Kenny exclaimed upon opening a small gift-wrapped box. "Thanks Grandpa!"   
  
Serena peered over his shoulder. "What is it, honey?"  
  
"Look!" Kenny thrust a shrunken head in her face. "Isn't it cool, mom?"  
  
Serena shied away from the hideously distorted head dangling from Kenny's fist by the hair, its face frozen in a gruesome death mask. "Uh, yes. It's...great." Kenny, all smiles, threw his arms around Serena's neck, the head coming dangerously close to making contact with her cheek. Serena stifled a shriek and glared at Walter. "Thanks Grandpa."  
  
Walter grinned knowingly. "I knew the boy would love it." He snickered and muttered under his breath, "As for you, however..."  
  
Candace and Walter stayed for a week before setting off to Alaska to watch the annual Iditarod dog sled race. After that, they were going to Sweden to stay in the Ice Hotel for a few days before setting off for parts unknown. As soon as they were gone, Serena used a pair of tongs to bury the head in a box and buried that in a steamer trunk in the attic. "It's the gift that keeps on giving," she grumbled when she accidentally slammed the trunk lid close on her finger.   
  
To compensate for the loss, Serena brought a terrier puppy home from the pound, which she forbid to sleep in Kenny's bed. Kenny's brilliant loophole to this obstacle was to tiptoe down the stairs to the laundry room where the dog bed was kept, and curled up beside Barky, where he was found by a frantic Darien the next morning. Serena's will crumbled when she saw her son squished on the tiny bed, his arms wrapped securely around the dog's body. She took a picture before she woke him up to tell him that Barky could sleep in his room if he promised to keep it clean.   
  
"Hey, where'd you go?" Darien asked, taking Rini from her.  
  
"Hmm? Oh, I was just going down memory lane," she replied.  
  
"Well, what do you say, Mrs. Shields?" Darien began nuzzling her hair. In her arms, Rini stirred and smiled as she slept.   
  
'Six years', Serena thought, so amazed at the turn of events in her life. 'I still can't believe that this is my life.' She turned to Darien and nodded. "Meet you there later."  
  
"Happy anniversary, Serena."  
  
"You too, Darien."  
  
The End.  
  
***  
  
I want to say a BIG thank you to Kat, Jackie, Drema and especially Sarah for all their advice and support while I was writing this long-winded story. Without them, I would not have grown as a writer or have had such ready and willing betas. Thanks bunches, guys.   
  
I also want to thank my readers for sticking with this story even through all those update-less months. I can't believe Wounded Souls was voted 2nd in the WAFF/TAFF contest at SMRFF. I was truly surprised and flattered. You don't know how much that meant to me.   
  
Wounded Souls has been such a huge part of my life these past few months that I can't believe it's over. Actually, I was going to make another chapter detailing the wedding but I got so many reviews from people who thought that the previous chapter was the last chapter, I decided to just end it right there. Actually, I'm happy that I did because now that I think about it, having another chapter would just drag the story unnecessarily and I didn't want to do that. Writing WS has taught me discipline, and shown me what I would one day like to do with my life. I am extremely grateful to the Sailor Moon community for allowing me the chance to grow as an author and as a person.   
  
And that's all she wrote.   
  
PS: Sorry for dividing up the epilogue this way, but I had a couple of AN's that I had to get rid of in order to comply with FFN's new anti-AN rules, so I replaced the chapters and found that I had an extra chapter on my hands. Rather than lose the reviews I got for the last chapter, my friend ladysolo suggested I just divide the last chapter up into two, and there we have it. 


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